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Dead Conversations

This weblog documents my experience as someone who communicates with the dead. I will share as much as possible without revealing the person or people that commissioned me to speak with their loved one or loved ones.

Updated: 2018-04-20T22:56:49.537-04:00


Noise and Ghosts Part 1: What is White Noise and Does It Help in Spirit Communication?


Perhaps you've seen the films, or read some creepypastas about it, or even heard friends talk about it: white noise and spirit communication. What is it? Does it work? Is it a dangerous method of communication? I won't just focus on white noise - I'll also branch into different "colour" noises and what you might remember as TV static, etc. I would also like to share my experiences with it, and in this little series share a bit of an ongoing experiment.What's White Noise?    For anyone who's had trouble sleeping or trouble with sounds waking you or a loved one up,  you may have already used it. White noise is a basic sound-canceling technology that basically masks other sounds using a blanket of noise. The Oxford Dictionary defines it as: "noise containing many frequencies with equal intensities." The sound itself is very much like a raging river or big waterfall.Insomnia and White Noise    Everyday sounds have many different profiles, like how cities have different silhouettes of tall buildings (loud or piercing sounds) and short buildings (medium sounds) and flat roads (silence) - whereas white noise would have just a bunch of very nearly equal buildings with no roads. Sounds weird, but gimme a minute to try and explain better...    Everyday sounds will catch your attention - picture a flat road going on for an hour and then a very tall building - in this case let's say a window breaking - sticking out like a sore thumb. While sleeping, your brain likes a flat, boring road as opposed to many buildings spaced with many roads .: someone talking to you while you're trying to sleep. Your ears still hear and your brain still analyzes sound while you're asleep, and so the 'big buildings' make your brain work harder and therefore your nice sleep cycle is more of a jerky mess. As soon as your brain realizes the sound you just heard is a window breaking or your kids getting home waaaaay too late - it'll wake up and get ready to react. White noise fills in the gap between buildings and roads and your brain does less analysis. Your brain basically hears nothing, so deeper sleep. I highly recommend it for sleeping if you're not focusing on communicating with anything or anyone. And don't use it if your kids are young enough that they might need you to hear the breaking window. We could get more technical on the matter.. but for the purpose of this series, I think this is enough for now.Is White Noise a Communication Aid?     Now we get into why I am writing about it. I have found it works very well and have thought long and hard as to why it works.    First, I want to share an experience I have had. When I was healthier, and able to do home visits and personal readings, I had an extremely hard time doing a remote reading (a reading where I am one place and the person asking for the reading is far away or the subject of the question is far away) to the point where I almost gave up. I had heard of white noise being used as a tool to communicate with spirits more clearly and I hated to disappoint someone with a good purpose for reaching out: a dead husband, taken far too early. I was getting nothing from him in the normal method and so I figured it was time to try something new. I turned on a white noise generator (a little box that randomly generates white noise) and kept reaching out to the deceased spouse. Nothing at first, just that waterfall sound of the noise and me audibly and mentally calling the name of the man. Then, after a good three to five minutes, I started to hear a faint sound. Like a break in the white noise here and there. CHHHHHHHH-CHHHHHH-CHH-CHHHHHHHH---CHHHH. My mind focused on those breaks and I started to hear broken words in the gaps. CHHH-Are-CHHHHHH-any-CHHHHHHH-there-CHHHHHHH-Please-CHHHHHH-(name) CHHH. I was taken aback on how clear it was. When I communicate with spirits (using whatever ability I have that uses whatever part of my brain it does) it's not usually so clear. It's like someone's thoughts are echoed and you catch the echoes at some p[...]

The Spirit's Replayed Memory: Death By Radiation


I have a regular visitor that died of radiation and he brings me back to his death in detail. Reliving his death is one of the most haunting of all the deaths I've been privileged to witness.Trigger Warning: detailed death, links that could be followed to see extremely disturbing images and text.**(Contrarily to the Trigger Warning: If you want to read the memory right away, I will highlight that part so just scroll down.)**Introduction to the So-Far Nameless manThe spirit does not speak a language I know even slightly, he is painfully shy, and tends to stick to a transfer of sense data rather than words or concepts. He is very unusual in his communication methods as he never presents as a fully visible spirit but as a series of sensations, images, emotions.. it took him quite some time to reveal himself to me as a spirit and not just weird visions he's been giving me for decades. (Being a medium is full of moments where you question your own sanity) I don't know the first time he contacted me, as when I was younger I tried not to pay attention to spiritual stuff as much - sharing more my interest in it with friends rather than my experiences as it would elicit one of just a handful of easily guessed responses. But through these shared memories, I would guess it started in the mid 1990s as my curiosity of decoding the senses and images conveyed became a sort of lingering quest.    I don't remember who it was, be it a friend or young family member, but when I shared certain parts of it - I was accused of watching Terminator and using that scene of the playground and Sarah being disintegrated as the basis for the memory. I figured - maybe they're right, maybe it's just a memory that has been twisted and remade - anything you get scared of has a habit of messing with your brain. Maybe my brain is weird, and ghosts were just my brain's way of dealing with memories.  I didn't have the resources or even the ambition to decode what I was seeing - the Internet was a baby and libraries at school didn't exactly have a section on messed up death.    As I got older and the Internet became a fertile ground of accessible research material.. I started to learn that my messed up memories contained things that a child of that age probably shouldn't. I still learn new things that back that up - quick example: the blue flashes in the shared experience - called Cherenkov Radiation. To start the contact, I remember the concrete floored room, and the burning feeling - just like plugging into an electrical outlet - except instead of electricity - it is memory in horrible sensate technicolour.The Death Experience SharedEverything is fine and I hear laughing (tired laughing), I smell stale cigarettes and coffee breath - a tinge of alcohol and halitosis on that breath. The floor is concrete, gray and rough looking. I'm at a table and there are some cards scattered on it - three men sitting at a table. Two are big guys, one smaller slender guy - he has lots of dark fillings in his teeth. There is yellow paint on a nearby concrete column or partition. Chain link - maybe a fence or enclosed piece of equipment? The next part happens in a fraction of a second.I suddenly feel my stomach get heavier - a dropping feeling - a taste in my mouth that reminds me of vomit with copper and some other metal. My lungs feel like I'm being pressed up against a wall. My throat feels stretched, painfully dry? It's not dryness, it's something else. I feel exhausted, like my life force is being slowly drained - with no stop or slowing - like a balloon with a leak. My mind starts to realize something is wrong, maybe 3-10 seconds have passed. I try to get up by my legs fail me, like floppy fins instead of legs.. they feel hard - no pain but a hardness even though they work like jelly - like a hard muscle cramp. The rest of my muscles either cramp or burn. My mind is drunk, but I haven't had a drink - not drunk like silly but drunk like my mind is slowing down and confused.It's hard to breathe. So hard. T[...]

Is a Spirit Contacting You in a Dream?


There are so many things spirits can do that confuse me. Much of what spirits can do is hard for my brain to wrap around. I love it.  Mystery is such a joy.. well some types.One thing I would love to know is - how do they manage to join our dreams?    Since I was a child, I have had dreams with the dead. But how does one tell the difference between a plain old dream and a dream with an extra consciousness in it? I have worked out a few ways by following up on things they have told me that I haven't been able to pin on anything like memory or suggestion etc. For example, I am told to check up on an old friend as they are suffering intensely - then I call up that person and see how they're doing.. and they are doing terribly - even though I have not talked to them in a year or two - or even kept up with their lives. Yeah, my illness not only makes me stop blogging, but it makes me less social all together.Let's get started.Clues a Spirit is Contacting You in a Dream1. The dream is more lucid. Feels more real and is more easily remembered. It stays with you longer.2. The deceased person is a little confused at the weird stuff you're dreaming about.     Let's say you're dreaming about a pink rhino in a fireman's outfit.. the deceased person will be confused or shocked or even laugh at the strangeness of your imagination. They will either make a point to talk about it or make the appropriate facial expression. 3. Easily legible words.     Oftentimes I see words written across the sky or tattooed on my skin in the dream. Once it was written on my bedspread in the dream. More often than not, however, it is in the sky. Reading in dreams is difficult normally, but in the spiritual contact dreams I've had.. reading was simple.4. More senses are engaged in the dream.     You'll feel wind on your skin or smell a specific perfume, or the taste of a never before tasted dish - all examples.5. The deceased person follows you from dream to dream - wearing the same clothes or doing the same thing, saying the same or even bringing elements of the previous dream to the next one.How to be Open to Spiritual Contact in a Dream1. Write your dreams down in a dream journal.    This will encourage you to remember your dreams more clearly, telling your brain that dreams are important and therefore worth saving to long term memory. The more often you use a dream diary, the more you will recall your dreams. Try it for a month and see. The more you remember your dreams, the more you will remember the dreams in which spirits attempt contact.2. Work on lucid dreaming!    Lucid dreaming doesn't necessarily mean that you can control your dreams.. it just means that you are aware you are dreaming and the dreams themselves are clearer than normal dreams. Learning how to lucid dream is a wonderful way of being more aware in a spiritual contact dream and will even allow you to better communicate in both directions - not just listening to what the spirit has to say, but telling it something you want to or need to. You don't need to pay to learn how, there are many free resources such as free online videos, guided meditation, apps, ebooks, etc out there if you just take the time to look. At some point I want to get deeper into it and put up some links. I think that'll be this month but let's see how my body feels about being active ;) One thing I will recommend is Jody W the hypnotist on Youtube - search "guided meditation Jody sleep hypnosis lucid dreaming" and you will find her - some people don't like the way she talks but I love it. She talks that way on purpose, slowing and keeping a rhythm that helps to hypnotize you. Amazing lady. Free and easy to do, just let it run before you sleep. There are also apps that have alarms to wake you up mid sleep cycle but I haven't tried them yet so I don't want to endorse something I haven't tried.3. Have a good sleeping schedule.    Insomnia is a bane to any sort of dream[...]

2018 Update


Hello my sweet readers! I will start with a status update of my physical condition, then onto more happy things.** It would really help me if someone from Europe or the UK could let me know if the cookie warning shows up when you access my blog ** Please :)Please excuse my grammatical errors.. I figure you want something to read and my stress level dictates how much I can do.. which means my panic of bad grammar stifles my writing.    Apologies for being absent for so long, it's been a trying time and I have tried my best to reply to mails and messages but of course it's an uphill battle.My illness, being called Fibromyalgia but the doctors seem to agree it is compounded by an as yet undiagnosed nerve disorder, is still spiraling down. I don't mean to depress anyone or give out a free pass for being absent, I just wanted to update you on what is happening. My fatigue and brain fog is getting to the point where it is difficult to read or write without a lot of serious effort, my pain is severe and constant, and I have a long list of symptoms that just keep accumulating. Mini surgeries, tests galore, and appointments with a myriad of doctors..     BUT - I am hopeful. About six or seven years ago, several of the dead told me something would happen 8 years from that point that would bring improvement to my illness. Maybe it was just so I wouldn't give up hope, but I choose to keep hope. Hope is free of charge, keeps our morale up, helps us look for answers harder, and makes sure we aren't dragging everyone down with a negative attitude.    I want to write more and I want to explore more of what's out in the big unknown world in which we live. There is so much we don't know and that is quite clear when I see doctors' confused faces when they try and find out what's the deal with my illness. As children, we think adults know everything. As teens, we think we know everything. As adults, we realize - we're all just trying our best to make it through the day.     No one person can know everything. So we can't easily collate, compare, analyze, notice discrepancies, exceptions of everything known - imagine what a massive undertaking that would be! Monumental! That means we can't see the forest for the trees most of the time: the picture is incomplete due to our limited brain capacities, truly efficient and non-agenda based networking between minds, and access to untainted facts. So many people have agendas when it comes to information display. Money, fame, power, quid pro quo (like when one person wants their article/book/film/show to have more credence via more people having the same opinion etc) relationships, politics, and so much more come between you and truth. I love open source projects that get rid of negative motives and just work towards something special.    So what is MY agenda? Sure, I have one - and here it is in order. Mainly I want to have documentation of my experience saved to the Internet and since my memory is foggy due to illness - I can use this blog as a way to remember. Secondly, I want to share this with others in a simple and easy to access way so they can compare their experiences.  Thirdly, I like the fact that I can connect with other human minds and hear their experiences.. nothing makes me feel more proud of my blog than hearing others derive meaning from it. I want us to work together to explore this beautiful and weird world. I certainly don't want to be famous - that has never seemed like a good thing to me. Last, I wouldn't mind having revenue - as being disabled is depressing enough without having no independent income. I want to promise you that I will never distort my experience for revenue.. I'd rather be poor. I don't want cars or big houses or a lavish lifestyle. My illness, in a sad sounding way, stops me from being able to spend money on a lot of things as: I can't travel much, I can't drive, I won't have kids as I don't want to pass the illness[...]

Brave Spirits Share Their Experiences with Suicide


Trigger warning: suicide, death. This is a hard subject but one I feel is very important.It is truly tragic when humans suffer so deeply that there seems to only be one path in front of them. We feel alone, scared, or sometimes just "done." Maybe we all feel this way at one point or another, but some of us make that terrible journey. There are commonalities to these experiences, ardent regret, the most potent being the need to stop people from following in their footsteps. I was asked to communicate with spirits and relay their answers to specific questions. What I want to share are the answers to the questions. It was truly amazing to see the fast response, the eagerness, the focus of these spirits. And it was beautiful to see how much they truly cared. *I left the typing/spelling mistakes from the communication in case they bear meaning and also I want readers to know what to expect when receiving messages from spirits. It is fast, frenzied, and it isn't easy. It takes decades and fast typing to keep up with them, especially when they have a LOT to say. Spirits have to force themselves to slow down just to say anything to the living.- we are disabled by physical laws perhaps? The boundaries of flesh and bone compared to the meeting of energies. *So here it is, I am honoured to show you the unedited (uncensored) conversation from a reading about suicide."Charley says: "I was 29 when I hung myself. I suffered from spina bifida, parkinson's and pain which drove me to drink. I took steroids for the pain and inflammation. I took heavy narcotics. I slept under heavy sedatives. Hanging myself seemed like a fast choice, but it easn't. it was hard and painful and took so long. I was awake when they found me, but dead. My mom found me and she screamed so loud. I wanted to apologize I wanted to scream back that i was still here but couldn't. All I could do was swing back and forth as she broke down. she is still alive and I hear her screaming still. that was 8 years ago. the pain stopped and my body was young again. i met my grandfather who was in the war when he died. i saw the world without the lens of pain. but i could always hear my mother my brother and my sister crying. my father would say hate things at me. he once called my name eleven times to make sure i was listneing and he called me a coward and a thief for stealing his life away. my grandmother prayed each night for my mother and talked to me. she was and is my only icomfort about what i did. she feels me there and tells me she forgives me and understands and apologizes for parkinsons since it comes from her side of the family. My dog still sees me. she is so old she is going to die soon and I hope she comes to me. i have met a lot of people that have killed themselves, not everyone has the same experience. please think hard before you do this. i don't think my family will ever forgive me besides my grandmother. life is so short. the afterlife is so long. I mad a mistake I know but I don't know if I would stop myself if I could go back in time. many spirits look down on me for what i did and many feel sorry for me many more just don't care they have their own stories." he finishes by "let her know many people care both here and alive people. I should have tried everything before suicide. Everything and seeing as many doctors as I can. I would have moved to a place with free healthcare. I could have been a test subject. I could have had those new implants. fuck I could have done so many things now that i see clearly. i have so many regrets. at least i should have waited a few years before i did it. I should have told my family and hear their suggestins. i hope she makes the right choice."Linda says, "I don't regret what I did. I was alone and in pain so much it was all I did. i was old and suffered my life with this and paid my dues to society. at 89 it was a no brainer. no one was there to visit me no one was there to mourn me and i had no friends b[...]

I'm Baaaack : )


(See *** for Update at the end of this post.)

Look out for some new posts soon. I will fill you in on the happenings of the past year.. can't believe it's been so long. This last year has been a haze, and I have only gotten to emergency emails.. I feel so sad that I wasn't able to answer all emails. I assure you, were I healthy, I would answer them all quickly.

I plan on writing a lot more this year, and answering more mails. Your messages always bring my smile back and my courage to face whatever weird illness comes up next - lol!

See you soon!

*** Update for April 21st, 2016
Finally, after learning how to do it, I have added a donate button. I'm sorry it took so long, and I am so thrilled and honoured that it has been suggested and in some really complimenting cases - demanded lol! I am not a charity, but I talked with the Paypal folks and as I am not trying to sell anything, and I want you to be able to donate as little as 1$ to the site as well as doing it when you like and in what currency you like - this button is the one for me. Sorry it takes me so long to update to technology too ;) you know me, slow and steady.
I am working on a post that should publish today, hopefully, and a second one later this week or next week. I have had some amazing communications I can't wait to share - all of which were due to some very hard emergency emails from some amazing people.
I also want to say thank you to my readers for giving me purpose and the hunger to converse with spirits on topics I never thought about. I will have a special post to thank you properly, but for now I needed to say it: thank you thank you thank you.
Okay well, time for me to get back to typing. Have a sweet day.

As always, you can mail me at dead conversations at gmail (dot) com. I write weirdly so that bots don't pick up the email. The more spam mail, the longer it takes me to write back.

Much love!

Reader Questions Upcoming Volume 1


As mentioned a looong time ago, I have wanted to address reader questions as public posts here in Dead Conversations. Not only is this a place of spiritual communication, but I like to address human communication to this weblog.

I wanted to write about this series before I actually continue, so you can have time to write in with the guidelines making life simpler for you (and me ;) )

1. First thing's first: subject lines!
  a. Emergency - How to know if your case is an emergency: lives are at stake, sanity, spirits behaving aggressively etc. Type in the Subject line: EMERGENCY.
  b. Anything else, you don't have to type in the Subject line, except it would help to put the word DedCon so my filter can put you in the right inbox.

2. I will not give out personal information, I will change the mail so that only what needs to be written is there - nothing that could identify you if I can help it. If you like, you can even suggest an alias or nickname you want me to use, otherwise I will chose a random name. I DO NOT need birthday info or place of birth etc.. that is for Astrology and that's another skill I use independently. You can even give me a false name, although it helps for me to know your name when communicating with the dead.. they can get confused. That is messy. I won't use it in the article, however.

3. Don't be shy, I have a very high threshold and tolerance for weird, as you may have already imagined.

4. If you don't get into the first post of reader questions, I will eventually get to you. I may decide not to have you in the article, however, in case the question has been done to death, is inappropriate, or some other reason of my choosing. I offer no guarantees, I am just not that cool.

5. If you want a fast answer, ask a fast question! Short and sweet. My illness lets me handle short mails better, but I still read every mail with a smile on my face or compassion or both. I also take each mail seriously.

6. Please know I can take quite a long time to answer, depending on how many emergencies I have to cover and how my illness is at any given time. The shortest time I got back to someone is an hour, the longest I have taken is 2 YEARS. By then some people just ignore the answer sadly, but I want you to know that eventually I will write back - and I cherish every piece of mail that comes in that is civilized. Examples of mails I don't even read: insults, threats, anything hurtful to myself or other readers... Stuff like that.

7. I like lists like this, you probably know this by now if you're a long time reader ;) - oh, and I like smiley faces.

New mail address - Although I still check the other, this will be checked more frequently. I had way too much spam mail and scam mails, so now to speed up the answering, I have made a dedicated gmail address.


I put this email in fragments so that at least some address bots for spam companies can't scoop up this email address. I would appreciate it if you wouldn't put this address on facebook or sites without fragmenting it like this - thanks :D

Future Of Medicine 2


Since the previous post was enjoyed and I was asked for more, this post is going to be a continuation of the article's goal. Things have been hard the past couple of weeks so posts haven't been coming out, but I thought a little post here would be good for me and my feeling of purpose. My sister in law has Lyme's disease and suffers from it greatly. So after the last medical post, I did a reading specifically on Lyme's and Alzheimers, another demon that torments her, and here I am going to transcribe it.Lyme's DiseaseThere will be a cure, a full cure, but it will burn. I think it is a liquid for an intravenous treatment - and there is a bird connection to the name or manufacturers. A powerful coctail of antivirals or antibacterials that is notoriously painful but equally effective. In five years you will see it emerge as a new drug in testing, and in ten years - you will see it in the last human tests. Right now it is on paper, but the red tape is tangling the research group (could be sooner if the unnecessary complications to do with an error on paper). I think it is red coloured, the medication, but that can easily be what I interpreted as a burning. I have the taste in mouth as the spirit explains it will help describe the chemicals.. it is bitter and sour, like cranberries without the sweetness or enjoyment, reminds me of mosquito repellant, and drinking it would result in very, very sick folk. The sourness is not like lemon sour, but smells of battery acid of a leaked, old battery. Yuck, I hope I can get that taste out of my mouth, even as I transcribe this, I get the taste again. X25 982 - is another detail about the cure, I heard it called out by a journalist in the vision.. not sure what this means. The cure will not undo the damage done, but a "compliment treating" will restore brain function, nerves, and I see a feather on a foot.. I don't know what this means. Maybe feeling? I will ask my sister in law, hopefully she can shed some light.  "Breathing is normallized" compared to another "compliment treating" (I think this means Complimentary Treatment?) that causes asthma like symptoms in those who go through it. Other things I heard and saw in the communication: "Duncan" or "Dunkirk" (a Dunc sound that I really think is Duncan), that bird symbol can be white, black, or metallic, an inhaler for the cure?, "Frank" and Goorey/Glory. I think Frank might be France, but I might be wrong, could be a person called Frank. This treatment is not covered by insurance without a lot of paperwork from three different sources.In six years, there will be talk about a 100% effective vaccine for it in a prominent scholarly medical journal - I see it connected with a sharp grey and shiny object maybe then it is the Lancet periodical - and those who do not already have Lyme's can get this vaccine to prevent getting it. It is 50$/500/5000 (those three numbers with slashes) "CDA" or "CDC" (Canadian Dollars? Center for Disease Control ?) at least and not coverd by many insurance companies, not for at least a decade, I am thinking 15 years. Not sure why, seems cruel.Alzheimer's. A nightmare within a nightmare. 13 years. I feel confident the cure, or something very close to a cure, will be available. And 3 years from now, there will be a promising treatment that halts the illness' progression quite "forcefully". I see a doctor in a white coat, but it is not a lab coat - seems a little shiny but the sun or some strong light is really beating down on them. The spirit shows me the lab of this doctor (not with eyes but with quick flashes of touch and impressions - A wicker basket hidden near the desk? ... Another bird? Yes, a bird on the desk with something in its beak. Strawy. Desktop background is two smiling faces that the person has taken themselves, big eyebrows, drop earrings, white shirt. There is a scent spray that is never used.[...]

The Future of Medicine (Between 2017-2115)


About This Article I've wanted to do this for some, another reading that channels directly from a spirit through me and onto the page/ I do not allow the spirits to use my hands or body, but I invite them in my mind to communicate in a very intimate and sometimes terrifying way. I want you to experience as much of it as possible, but I am no poet - a lot might get lost in translation. The Topic and Method I hope to engage a spirit who wants to talk about the future of the world, in any part of the world, as it is something universal compared to asking specific questions about specific people - what is usually done. What happens next is that I relax, both body and mind, and try to empty my mind of thoughts. I listen to the chatter, that seemingly endless stream of thoughts I can hear whenever I focus. I call it the Ether, just to label it for conversation's sake. Were I a radio, this would be "tuning" by ear - listening to the sounds as you turn the dial. If I were a TV - well, it'd be channel surfing quickly till I find something interesting to stay on for a few seconds for more of a idea of what the show's about; I find a good show and focus on it without focusing too hard. The more you fine tune the focus, the more your own personal bias can interfere. Bias.. the best reason to check your ego at the door before you continue on the way to a good channeling. It is sometimes good, however, to have some subjects or questions in mind - that way you're focused a little. Today, I want to focus on health care in the future. The Reading AIDS\HIV will be cured 100%, a thing of the past in the not so distant future. Definitely before 2100 - most likely 2080. In connection to Turkey (the country) but not just that country. Seems like a global made cure 8 countries. Several cancers will meet their match within a microscopic organism harnessed by scientists and programmed - while others will be cured by a new medicine - yellow, sweet - and pale blue. Skin cancer will be cured by "stripping" skin or something that looks like skin. All cancer will one day be history. I see a flurry of white coats, a woman with what looks like a beard (might be a joke beard?) with a blue turtle neck in a documentary called "How We Cured Cancer", the interviewer has something to do with Hick or Hickey or Hickson - something with Hick. She has noticeable lipstick that is talked about in magazines.. you know like the Blue/Gold dress thing. Something about a vulva or uvula tumor that really speeds up research. I see a fake yellow flower, with a long stamen.. this is something in a museum next to the "Race to the Cure for Cancer" in a fairly new museum in New York City.. not sure if it exists now in planning, but by 2030 it definitely will exist. "Side road". I see a cure for Parkinson's... electrical. Looks like an implant of some sort, maybe temporary. It is so much like a pacemaker. Children can even get it. I see a celebration where a horrible tragedy befalls one of the celebrants or staff at the party (feels like both) - a fire or burning sensation.. nausea. I see there are at first some serious side effects that the company has to work out. The company is run by someone who cares about the illness, but not as much as the money he will get out of this. Old man, grey/white short beard. Blue eyes.. the guy kinda reminds me of Englund from Nightmare on Elm Street fame. I see a cure for something that sounds like "Passonna" or "Passover" or "Passon" - a rare disease or pathogen. The cure itself seems worse than the disease, but it's not as bad after the trials. The trials had a mishap. Life extension will have humans able to live up to 250 years "guaranteed" - it is a medicine that works on DNA or RNA, a pill you take - it's small and circular, rounded so the edges are skinnier than the center. Dark coloured.. maybe dark wine col[...]

How to Invite a Spirit into Your Dreams to Converse!


After this article will be an update on a few things, including how my computer is finally saved from oblivion ;) I know I have spoken about dreams and spirits, but now I want to make a post only about it and answering the more popular questions regarding ghosts and dreams.Can Ghosts Communicate Through Dreams and Nightmares?In my experience, they certainly can and do so frequently. That is the most plain answer I can give, and as you know - plain answers bore me and I require some elaborative fun.How Can I Tell if a Spirit is Communicating in a Dream?The dreams will feel more detailed, more lucid, more like reality. They will be less disjointed and much easier to remember when you wake up. Sometimes they will lock eyes with you to try and get your attention, eye contact that feels almost tangible - like a warm breeze mixed with quick panic. Sometimes they will walk through your dreams, from one to another, and keep looking at you in that piercing way. I am not sure why they do this, but from what I have gathered it seems like it is the brain's way of perceiving the communication. Sometimes you will wake up and see them for a split second.Sometimes you will wake up and smell a sweet smell, or a scent that reminds you of them.Sometimes you will be unable to wake yourself from the dream, even though you know it is a dream.Can I Force or Encourage a Spirit Communication Through Dreams?So far as I can tell, I have never been able to force a dream conversation by will alone - no. But there are probably very gifted people out there who can just force the communication. One thing I do not like to do is force spirits to do anything - and so I have never experimented with such ideas. Encouraging is another thing. With Spirits, the best thing you can do is talk to them aloud or in your mind - like inner monologue - the way you talk to yourself inside your head. Try this one night:1. Clear your mind before bed, when you're all tucked in and lights are out. Have a notebook or notepad and pen or pencil by your bed or even a tablet or smartphone or other computer.. Set your alarm to wake you up at an appropriate time in the morning.2. Breathe in a count of 4 and slower out to a count of 8. Repeat four times.3. If you are feeling nervous or scared or like something bad is watching you... do not attempt the rest of this exercise until such time as these feelings are gone. When you feel at peace, calm, and happy - that's a green light to continue to step 4.4. In your mind, I want you to say the name of the spirit you're trying to contact for a good minute or so, slowly and with focused care. If you want to just invite a friendly spirit or patron spirit (someone out to help you) , instead say "friendly, kind spirits" or "guardian spirit".5. Then I want you to say your goal for that night - for example "I want to communicate with you during my dreams" or "I would like you to give me your guidance in a dream" or "I'm open to anything you have to say while I am asleep" or "I need help, please come to me in my dreams."6. If you feel happy and calm still, continue to the next step. If you feel scared, nervous, or that "being watched" feeling - red light.. stop and try again another night.7. Then I want you to use that inner voice and invite them, welcome them, to your dreams. Say something like, "You are welcomed in my dreams" or "I invite you in my dreams" or "You have permission to enter my dreams."8. Go to sleep. Have no expectations, this might not work the first time, or the first dozen times, or the first hundred. Relax and feel the comfort of your bed and calmed muscles slowly release the tension of the day. 9. When your alarm goes off, let it ring. Do not move your head quickly. Be gentle and slow. Try to remember your dreams and write ALL the details you recall. Someti[...]

Testing, testing, 1,2,3!


  Apologies for missing my weekly post (been trying to post every Friday but the app I was using crapped out, so now I am using another app.) This is a post in progress - I wanted to post something soon to keep up with my Friday posting time (near it) and now you can see what I am working on!As I mentioned in last Friday's post on Lucid Dreaming (Part 1) - I recently purchased a so-called 'mind machine' and it arrived a few days ago much to my excitement. This type of machine, so you don't have to go back to the other article, modifies brainwaves using light and sound. Here's a pic of the one I got...  (my new program sucks right now, I am sorry for the lack of photo..)I blurred out the name as I don't advertise for free, especially before I have had a chance to use it and research enough to endorse it. This is one of the budget units but from what I read, it all does the same stuff, some just have more bells and whistles. Primarily I got this to help reduce pain and relax myself. The glasses have LEDs that flash light in varying speeds, patterns, and colour. The headphones make a beeping, pulsing sound. The controller lets you select what program you want to use, the volume of the sound, and the brightness of the light.  Why am I showing you this? Well I am quite interested to use it and measure what effect (if any) it will have on my ability to see spirits, hear them, communicate with them, etc. A test, experiment, trial. It is also a good lead in to the Lucid Dreaming Part 2.  I want to if I either slow down or speed up my brainwaves: will it change my extrasensory perception? I will do more experiments in the future as this is just a little test.    Hallucinogens and other mind altering drugs have long been used in the quest to contact the dead. From fungus to synthetic compounds, even secretions from animals, it has been a long and crazy road for us humans. Now non-medicated biofeedback has long been used also, in trances for example and meditation, to do the same. It all comes down to changing our perception and states of consciousness. I am not going to do weird drugs. I do not condone the use of them, but I also do not think people who go that route safely and reasonably should be punished. With binaural beats, isochronic tones, mind machines, strobes, etc - there is a way to get into certain mind sets without drugs and without dangerous side effects if you know what you are doing. Use at your own risk, be careful my friends. I truly want to find out what is better for contacting spirits the most effectively: Intense Beta Waves, Mellow Alpha Waves, or  Sleepy Theta Waves. Beta is the wave you are in when you are stressed, alert, it is very common especially in our cultures' fascinating frenetic pace. Alpha state is when you are mellow, centered, meditating, truly relaxed but still aware. This is the place I usually aim for when I contact spirits, after nice meditation to center myself and be ready for frightening moments, etc. It is also how I have been taught. Theta waves represent a state of dreamy sleep, it is hard to be conscious when you are in this state but with some hard work I want to try and get there and record what I say - as I have often had amazing encounters in this state.. and I want to know if what I saw was dream or the perfect place to be to contact the deceased. Here we go!   For each, I will be asked questions I have no way of knowing to test for an extrasensory eve. I will compare the outcome's success rate in each section. I will post the results in the following section:   1. High Beta Waves 2. Alpha Waves 3. Theta Waves [...]

Lucid Dreaming Foundation: Meditation


(this post, for some reason, didn't publish two Fridays ago.. so here it is and apologies for the wait and confusion)Lucid Dreaming: the ability we have to be aware, even control, dreams and access dreams as a way to connect with other parts of our consciousness. (If you want to skip some anecdotes and backstory, and would prefer some applications, head to the second part of this article, as marked by a headline: Part 2) It is a long, difficult path for many people to lucid dream. Many people stumble upon it, never again to experience it again. Some people make it their life's work, such as the awesome Stephen LaBerge - a name nearly synonymous with lucid dreaming, and some people think it's a load of bull. We, as people of open and inquiring minds are used to the latter people.. people that close their minds to such important ideas. Not to say that skeptics are bad, they are necessary, but there is a gaping chasm between skeptic and stubborn closed mindedness. My opinion and experiences are of the observation that consciousness is more than what we are taught and that exploring and opening it would bring about massive benefits to society. Imagine a world where we're partners with our subconscious! So many misunderstandings in the world are caused by projecting our own subconscious emotions onto others. More problems are caused by emotional repression and misinterpretation etc. Anyways, this is besides the point of the article, I don't know how I feel - or more importantly: how you feel about my long social opinions ;) This is a diary about spirits, not politics! In my quest for pain management, as well as my mission to unravel more truths about the unseen universe, lucid dreaming has come up many a time in my meditation study. I have been meditating for well over a decade (almost two) since my pain began to affect my schoolwork in grade school. I was introduced to a guru who opened up my mind to such things. He was amazing. He could see that I saw spirits, and he saw the same ones I did.. I was thrilled to meet someone like him with such an open mind and such experiences! Being dead, I have often tried to contact him since I heard of his death - as contacting him in life seemed near impossible. He wasn't "connected" to anything. No phone number, no address, no email (back then I was only a BBS frequenter and some IRC so email would have been near useless anyways) but I would see an alternative magazine with his smiling face in the "Upcoming Talks" section and would want to go see him but never had the guts to do so. I felt he wouldn't have remembered me or if he did.. would he be disappointed by my lack of progress? One of the things we had talked about on our meeting (an intimate gathering of about fifteen people, in which I totally hogged his time.. or maybe he hogged mine lol) was lucid dreaming. This was a new word to me, a new world, a new thought. I thought half seeing spirits was the be all and end all of my abilities.. but opening a world of conscious dreaming seemed like a fairy tale come true! I imagined sleep being another phase of being awake.. time no longer "wasted" just being unconscious at night! I imagined how much creative work I would get done, studying for school, and learning to block my pain... But that is not what lucid dreaming is, and I was disappointed and it was drifting back into the obscurity of forgetting. I thought that if it wasn't all that, then it wasn't worth the hard work. Oh was I wrong! The journey of lucid dreaming is half of the importance of the thing! When you work on lucid dreaming, the best way to start is by learning to meditate, in my opinion. Learning to feel the different levels of awareness (aka Different intensities of brain activity, such a[...]



Greetings, fellow open minded beings and all round awesome folks!

So I have some big plans for Dead Conversations. It is one of the positive, motivating factors in my life even during the worst part of my illness. Your letters and readership mean so much to me and continue to be a source of healing and hope. I want to get more involved and bring more content and experiments and different media such as videos and photographs and such.

So here's what I am working on:

Guided Meditation Audio/Video by myself - basically tools I have found helpful to developing and opening the senses necessary for spiritual contact and the Connected Inside. Explanation! When I am in deep openness of mind and spirit, there is a place my mind and senses go that allow me to see such amazing things: some call it the Astral Plane, others call it the Ether, Universal Consciousness, some call it a Psychic Highway (I like that description!) and others make up allll sorts of names and descriptions of so much variety and great poesy and wisdom that blows the mind. For me, I try not to label things, but labels are good for communicating and so I will use something that feels right to me: The Connected Inside. It is so deep inside consciousness, at the barrier between conscious and subconscious - and yet it is connected to so much. From what I have read, the countless articles, books and sacred texts - it seems to connected to the Collected Consciousness / Universal Consciousness but also it accesses the deepest, oldest part of yourself and purest part of yourself. Sometimes I spend way too much time there, but I always find something, some tidbit of life changing information or perspective change or spiritual connection. I want to share this and help in your quest for spiritual awakening. My quest is never done, I don't think there is such a thing as an end to it, not as an embodied soul - but that is only opinion.

Representation of Auras and Spirits - I have been asked and I'd like to show you what I, personally see, with the caveat that auras are hard for me. Why they are hard is that when I am about to have a migraine (can be daily, weekly, monthly) - I also see haloes, which are glowing lights people see in the beginning phases of migraines. So Sometimes I am unsure as to what I am seeing.

Forum for you to connect to others in the same or similar quest for the hidden worlds.

Reader Mail segments where I answer mails on the website itself. I have issues balancing letter-writing and writing of this journal AND the medical treatments I need to do daily - It has long been suggested that I do letters on here.

Facebook and Twitter accounts, if the forums don't work out as well as I hope. I am not one for big site socialization, as anything you say can be used by those companies.. I really dislike that. I would hate for your privacy or intellectual property would be stolen. The thing I like about this blog is that it is a cozy family, a trusted space for me and hopefully you. Twitter would seem to be useful to announce new posts, hopeful live-streams one day, and videos etc for those who use it often.

Lastly, experiments! My favourite thing! An example of an experiment is to get some sensory equipment while I am in the same room as a spirit, or while I am doing a reading - to see what is set off, and what is not. Another example would be trying to connect with a historical figure, or doing past life investigation.

Today I think I might actually finish a video today, and if so - I will add a link when I finish!

Thank you for reading. Have a sweet day!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Increased Spiritual Activity


I like to have connections with spiritual people around the world in order to have a network of senses for times of increased or decreased spiritual activity. It gives me a good sense of the ebbs and flows of either spiritual forces or the human perception of those forces. One big thing about my research into spirits is that I try to see it from many perspectives to understand them and what souls really are - my main intellectual focus in this time I have here in a body. My, and dare I say OUR main purpose is to learn, help others learn, and to love. In this article (which I wrote already but it was rudely deleted by happenstance), I want to talk about preliminary findings of my experience with this web of senses, and also my personal experiences with increased spirit activity. First off, clarity of communication is required, I think.DefinitionsIn order to describe spiritual concepts to the fullest, I want to define the words or phrases I use which cause me concern. Part of this is to describe my experiences accurately so that you may delve into them, and without elucidation of some abstract feelings or concepts I will use in this article, I would fail miserably. Definitions can vary from post to post, and when they do, or when I want to update them, I will have a definition list.Spirits: Non corporeal phenomenon associated with Earthly life. That is, our bodiless souls and that of animals and other life on Earth. Spiritual Activity: Changes, either rapid or slow, sensed in spirits. This can be movement, communication, changes in projected appearance, changes in mood, or even the type of communication - are they showing me images or using a direct flow of thoughts? Movement (when used with the term spirits): although it seems like spirits can be in many places at once, including the commonly used term "Other Side" with its revolving door (so to speak) - sometimes spirits move in this world as if they were still living - ie. walking down a street or walking up stairs etc. I use movement in this Earthly context.Other Side: A place where spirits can be that is ostensibly not on Earth but seems to be like a shared creative place. What you wish can be made to a certain extent, and many spirits go there to meet each other. I have been privileged to be shown this place and it is the most beautiful place I have ever witnessed. It seems to be a meeting place, a world that is beyond massive and has a perfect, dreamlike quality of eternal peaceful creativity and sunshine and grace. I like to call it Heaven as it seems to fit the bill. I have spoken to many people that have seen the same place and it fills me with joy that when my education here on Earth is done, I will get to walk there as opposed to just being shown.Spiritual Abundance: A grouping of spirits much larger than what is normal for the area, time, date, etc.The Web: A group of trusted people around the world that let me know when spiritual energy is high, spiritual activity is higher, and unusual spiritual phenomenon is witnessed. I find trust when they are consistently on par with the rest of the web nearby etc. The WebAlthough I would like to have more people in the Web*, the small group already has given me insights into the spiritual world. I am so grateful to those who are giving invaluable advice on the subject.Spiritual Activity ranges from barely visible to impossible to ignore, and can be terrifying or beautiful or even funny or cute. I have often watched spirals of joyful spirits congregating and finding happiness in groups and in the sensations of their mingling. It makes me so happy that others have seen this too and revelled in it as I have on many occasions. A friend in South East Texas and one in Orange C[...]

Missing Posts


The last three posts I have written have been deleted or disappeared. I don't attribute this to spirits, nor do I attribute it to only computer error. When I am tired I forget things like multitasking on tablets can sometimes lose me a great amount of writing! That, and I need to save more often. Apologies and I will get some posts out this week, I hope ;) Thank you for being a reader :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Tower of London


When I was a child of nine or ten, I visited the Tower of London, amongst other amazing places. The juxtaposition of a beautiful prison with a history of nightmares and a museum of wonders baffled me at the same time as the spirits within chilled and amazed me.Early on I realized that other kids don't see spirits - and as I got older and older, many reacted badly to me speaking about seeing spirits. So I had a strange relationship with spirits. Vacillating between thinking I was nuts and knowing I was seeing incorporeal humans- I kept it mostly to myself and tried to forget a lot of what I saw which disturbed me. Of course, now I know as an adult that trying to forget often makes the memories even deeper. The Tower being one of those places I tried to put into the "forget" category.I saw as many spirits as I saw tourists on this busy day. People walked right through the spirits every minute - causing the static feeling from this meeting of spirits - the spirits sometimes greatly angered for a moment but returned to their duties. Guards, prisoners, officials, royals, deceased tour guides even - ancient and recent - all going out their days as if time bore no meaning.So many spirits realized I could see them, and stared back at me. Eyes fixed in contact with mine, stopping their paces and searching my face or form for something. Maybe they were curious, maybe upset, maybe they tried to see what was similar between other mediums and myself? My communications were limited as a child, I can sense emotions and see pictures and sense the sense communications now - whereas as a child I could only hear them clearly when they tried their hardest. Time hones the ability if you focus and experiment. That moment, I felt like crying, I recall. Tens of eyes watching me before going down a set of tight stairs. I don't recall all of them, but let me share what I do remember.There was a man in fancy red uniform, similar to the modern "Beefeaters" - officially known as Yeoman Warders - only the uniform was a darker red, less intense, and I remember the fancy golden embroidery was more intricate and busy. Some had black uniforms around him, faces hidden behind a blur of dark grey for a reason I've never been able to find out. He had a red beard, extremely well kept, a sceptre/mace, and beautiful blue-green eyes like the colour of shallow tropical waters over white sands. He smiled at me, but also had a severity about him. He tried to speak to me in some strange sounding language I thought must have been Scandinavian or a heavily accented Gaelic, which I found out later in school was Old English when my class learned the Canterbury Tales by Chaucer. (Wonderful stuff if you've never read, hilarious) I remember the first few pages read by the teacher giving me a big smile as I realized it had been what the Yeoman Warder had probably been speaking. Not 100% sure of course, but it fits in many aspects. His tone suggested he was warning me to go, or telling me I was being naughty and should stop, or maybe even asking me what I was doing staring at him lol. He stood in front of a painting or tapestry or something, I forget, but it was easy to stare at him pretending I was admiring the antique artwork. Well I did that too, I'm sure.Another figure that stuck deep in my mind was a photographer that was dressed oddly. He had long brown, straight, hair and brownish eyes I seem to recall, but his clothes were : a hip length light brown leather jacket with the edges tasseled as if someone had cut out strips of the leather (like you see on stereotypical movies about Native Americans; light blue jeans with turquoise coloured stones on the pocket in a mo[...]

My Questions.


Sorry it's been so long, it wasn't intentional - never is, I do love what I do.The gift I have, that I think we all have, that sense not yet accepted by the human powers that govern us, is a Gift. All of our senses are gifts. They aren't owed to us, they aren't our right, they are gifts to be cherished and used and grown and understood.Being such a mocked and shunned sense in so many places makes it a challenge to hone the gift. We walk, arms outstretched in the dark, trying to find what works and what doesn't, sometimes going the wrong way for years and walking further and further away from what does work.What helps me the most is striving to answer questions. Sometimes I realize I've been asking the wrong questions - sometimes I am disturbed, shocked, by some of them. Spiritual forms aren't likely to answer your questions clearly, or at all, and even when you get an answer - it's like explaining colours to someone who has never seen.Try asking the scary questions or the questions that make you at least nervous. Above all, want the answers intensely.So what are my big questions right now? And know, I do not want to experience any of the answers first hand until I am extensively old and ready to shed the skin. The reason I want to know the answers is to share them, as a human in a human body, with others to alleviate the pain and fear associated with Death. What if you knew what the other side was like? Would it give you freedom to live now without the constant shrouding shadow of oblivion? Should we fear at the same time as wonder? Would you share the answers if they were detrimental to society?The questions, however, are much less dangerous. I want to share a sample of my questions here:1. At the moment of true death - that is, when the spirit leaves the body behind completely: A. What happens to signal the soul to leave the shell? Is it chemical? Is it spiritual? Is it deep in our DNA or is it like plants sensing winter coming? The seed of the soul drops from its chrysalis? Are physical and spiritual closely mated in that process? Or does getting old separate spirit and body? I found a couple answers I will tell you about soon. B. Are we born to the next world blind and deaf or do we emerge fully developed? Some spirits, I have noticed, take much longer to communicate and manifest to me after their death - why? Is it choice? When a soul emerges, do they have different abilities or the same and like a video game - we "level" what we focus on? C. How do other spirits know we have died? Some, I understand, watch their loved ones until death.. but I have also seen spirits that were not watching the person in life - know death was near. "Word of Mouth" a spirit next to me says. Answer. Question: What if no one is watching?? Do we cross over the threshold from body to free spirit alone if not watched? The spirit shakes its head in saying "No. Everyone is watched. Tended in the nursery." "Never alone" another says, "love" "joy". How beautiful. How relaxing. I have lived my life always being around spirits, and I have worried about those who weren,t watched.. this is good. I have gotten used to showering, going toilet, sleeping, mating, crying, doing bad and good - all in front of spirits. It's a lot less creepy than it sounds, and they will mostly give you privacy when you need it - turn their attention away from your body and focus on your soul. Otherwise, I'd be a virgin for life - having family members' spirits watching me! Lol. It's a lot more beautiful and comforting and empowering. D. In the first Meeting we have as souls with another souls - do spirits commun[...]

Moment of Death


I asked a spirit to come forward and tell me about his death experience. I typed quickly as he spoke, and left the spelling as is. I found it to be an interesting conversation. "I died in 1958 in a pile of traffic. It was cold, dark, dank and filled with monsters (cars I think he means). I was driving one minute and the next I felt like the car door was the floor - and then I was dead. It was an instant. I felt myself slip aside then up.. no more like out. Like I was deep in water with no air left in my lungs. I expected to yearn for breath but that never came. My leg that'd hurt for years, I suddenly noticed it wasn't hurting. I felt like I should breathe but I didn't have the equipment for it anymore. I could hear Marty calling my name, crying, screaming dazed and it kinda woke me up from this amazement and excitement of this numb feeling. I couldn't see with my eyes, it was dark at first, but then I opened some sort of eyes, not like the eyes I had when I was alive but other ones. They didn't have lids it was just sort of an awareness that opened them. Marty was clinging to the lump of clothes next to him, I noticed it was a person slumped and obviously broken. I didn't realize then but I was seeing so differently, like the scene was in my consciousness, not outside in the world. Like my eyes were all around and encapsulating the scene. Like nothing I can fully explain. I was next to Marty, but also around him, above him, under him, you know? I saw he was sobbing like a kid, something I'd never seen before and I was confused until I was aware the body was me. It wasn't me at all, not anymore. I wasn't connected to it anymore. I didn't really have hands, but I reached out as if I had one and placed it on Marty's shoulder. He moved like he felt it I think. An officer was nearby, my awareness shifted to outside the car, the flashing lights and survivors moving in the scene. I was still with Marty but also outside. When it's your turn you'll see, we all get a kick out of it. It took a few minutes until I noticed my Ma outside the scene. She was dead and I felt pulled towards her, not like a physical pull but like an itch - I had to keep a date or I was late for an exam. God she looked so lovely. Her hair was all done up, her makeup, just like I remembered. But that's the queer thing, I remembered her as a little old lady, not this lady - but I knew it was her. It was a given. She welcomed me, loved me, cherished me and was so happy to see me. I was pulled around like at a party from group to group of my dead friends and family and coworkers and you name it. My dog Andrew was there, my pets all of them. All the friends I had that were dead were excited to see me. It was like I graduated and got to come home for the first time in decades. Oh yeah, it felt like home too, you know? Warm and like someone had just cooked me a grill cheese sandwich and my favorite show was on and it was sweet. I felt pulled back and forth between Marty and this great party. I felt bad because I wanted Marty to get over with his grief so I could spend more time in this great place. Guilty. I spent time with Marty until he settled doen. Word got around about my death. My wife, my sons, my daughter.. all crying next. They were sad I was dead and I was sad they weren't here to see the other side of things. There was this one moment where my 'Linda, that's my little girl, cried so sweetly and begged God to bring me back. I cried. I had no eyes, no breath, but I sobbed. The more I wept, the more she did. Then I gathered myself and so did she for the most part. She felt me! They all did but no o[...]


An Open Message to.... ?In a "vision"* this morning (see end for my definition of vision) I was shown around the home where this amazing spirit died - or where she spent here last 5-1 year(s). It is an important message. First, the description so the intended target of the message can really know if it is the person they think it is. Please keep in mind, during such full-ranged communication, the spirit's message can have bits and pieces of my subconscious/unconscious(don't have the equipment or team to test which lol) and so some details may be off but the whole of the image is there. I would say 3/4 is the spirit, and 1/4 is me. I will say when I think it's mine. The RoomIn a hallway (about the length of a regular schoolbus) I walk from a dark part of the hallway ( the hallway is G on my crappy floorplan tablet sketch, the top is the lighter area, I come from the bottom area) to the light part and the door is on my right. I think there is a second door too, but it could be a closet inside the room. The hallway is neutral beiges, or that could be the sunlight/artifical light sources.Upon entering the room, the bed (B on the floorplan) dominates the room, but there is also a long and hipheight dresser (A on floorplan) to my right, and (F) a smaller dresser on my left. There are two windows (E) on (I think South facing) the wall as well as a large painting (unsure) which is an oil painting of a historical urban or architectural scene. I think there are horses. In front of the window there is a big CRT (tube) TV - bulky and made in the mid to late 80's - on top of a small entertainment unit (c) which sits squat on the ground. The room is carpeted. Closer to the second door (or closet) is a floor lamp (D)The bed is a twin size, for one person, but the bedspread looks like it was made for a double or queensized and it is draped, yet centered. Looks like the bed was made but someone thought about taking a nap. The bedspread has red floral or abstract plant designs in red, with gold (metallic) threading that gives it a sheen and makes it a little rough to the touch. As I "test" the bed by putting my hand and leaning on it, it is less comfortable than I imagined but still not an uncomfortable bed, but it is very low to the ground, the boxspring and mattress on the ground. There are offwhite, clean sheets on the bed, they look almost like they were ironed or just taken out of a new package. The pillow is fluffy but, like the mattress, it has a groove where the owner had slept there for a long time. The windows have see-through curtains (I might be wrong but I also think there were other, thicker curtains) with possibly some pattern to it but it's hard to tell. There is a yellow/orange light coming through it which I see as either streetlight emanations or a sunset/sunrise light.On the dresser are memetos and curios. I think they are on doilies but I am not sure. I especially recall this pitcher made of silver or silver plated or even pewter, skinny neck and big base, a frilly metalworked handle. I also see little things that look very Black Forest in design. Expensive things that don't necessarily look expensive. The more you look at them, the more you see details and mastercrafting, hallmarks etc - that show the value unseen on firt impression.The paintings remind me of paintings my grandparents have - well done in a slight impressionistic flare better seen from afar, of wealthy places and somehow it looks ugly to me. Victorian urban scenes with rich Victorians and wet streets, people with umbrellas.. but you can never see their faces as the i[...]

How Can Someone Who Can't See Ghosts Communicate with Ghosts?


Is it possible? Yes. Absolutely. However, it's not always possible for you to get a clear answer - or any sort of easy answer. For that, I am sorry for the grief you go through, no being should have to deal with death. It's the hardest lesson of this world, even if you can see spirits. I know there is an afterlife, but death affects me greatly too. Sure I can see and feel spirits, but spirit contact is not as comforting as living human. I think because when people die, they see a freedom so vast and wonderful, it's hard to stay in one place. They go into phases of focus, phases of travel, phases of watching the living - and that is well-adjusted spirits! So, someone has died that you miss, and you didn't get to tell them something important - this is something each one of us could experience. How do you tell them? How do you set a date to speak with a spirit? The answer is simple. Communicating with the Dead - Saying Something   1. Choose a time of day where you can relax, set aside 10-20 mins, make it a date/appointment in your daily or weekly routine. Find a calm, relaxing place.  2. Get objects that remind you of that person: photographs, letters, jewelry, clothes, keepsakes, lock of hair etc. This isn't for a spell, it's to create an atmosphere of welcoming that person, showing them that you are talking to them directly. This can work for groups or individual ghosts. The traditional place in history to do this is a graveyard, but your home works just as well, I promise.  3. Take deep, slow breaths, about 10-30, until your mind is calmer and your muscles relax a bit. For those of you who do meditation, this should take a lot less (5). You do not need to know how to meditate, but it helps.  4. Picture the person in your mind, and say their name, nickname, last name.. Just say them all in the tone/volume you would if they were in the next room. If you are in a place where people can hear you do this, you can think and say the name at the same time. The loudness isn't that important, but it tends to focus the mind - so just thinking/feeling the name when you say it is focus enough. Alternatively, and what I do, focus on the name of the person with all your mind and heart, you can whisper the name. Do that for 30 seconds to two minutes.  5. Tell them you will set time (daily, weekly, monthly, yearly) to talk with them if you want this to be a regular date. Say it out loud. Tell them that you have something to say and you need them to focus on you for a short time.  6. Talk to them. Just like you would someone who is being quiet and focusing on you. They are listening. They can hear you. Say all you need to, but they will tell you if they need to go somewhere - you will feel pressured to wrap things up. It's funny that they do that, but also important that you wrap it up as they may have to do something very important - saving a loved one, for example.   7. If you want this to be a repeat event, tell them you will see them at that time - state the time and place clearly, you can repeat it a few times, slow and clearly.If you set a date and don't bother to show up, they won't show up either the next time - depending on the personality! Be respectful and so will they. Be on time and so will they. Although if they were easily distracted in this life, chances are they may still be distracted. Be patient. If you are worried they did not get the message the first time, repeat it the next scheduled time. Sometimes spirits are too busy with other things, they can divide their attention i[...]

Signs You Cat, Dog, or Misc ;) Pet is Seeing Spirits - Pt 1


  Something I get asked a lot is how to tell if one's pet is seeing spirits, if they are, if they can, or if they should be encouraged.  I will address the latter before I continue: should pets be encouraged when they see spirits? Yes. In my opinion they should, unless it freaks you out. This decision took no time for me at all as animals are often my eyes when it comes to spirits that can't always communicate regularly. They call my attention to spirits when I am distracted, and often their body language is enough to let me know the tone of the communication. For anyone, learned in seeing spirits or unable to see spirits, it can communicate a lot to watch your pet when it is communing with spirits. They can tell you if a spirit is happy, playful, depressed, angry, scared, lonely, or more importantly: if you are being warned about an upcoming or current event.  Next, how can you tell if a beloved pet or wild animal is seeing a spirit, or many spirits? It's a tall order but I want to share with you my experiences seeing spirits interact with animals. I will divide this into different animal categories, starting with a universal species category.   Before I do - there is a question I think you might ask yourself - why don't animals flee at the sight of a spirit? Well animals, unlike humans, aren't told that the dead are "scary" or "a figment of your imagination". They aren't ridiculed for seeing spirits, they aren't told it's scientifically unlikely, they aren't told "if you can't get it on film consistently, it's not there" and so deep in their core their ancestors have long accepted spirits as the norm. They exist, they rarely bother us, and oftentimes, they warn us of dangers. Many, most, also care about us and love us, guard us, play with us, show us where food is, and where to seek shelter. So many spirits make it their afterlife's creed to protect animals. Well, who among us wouldn't like to have a tiger, whale, jaguar, shark, bison or elephant as a friend? I'm sure there are many out there, but more would than not ;)Before I digress into a novella...How to Tell if an Animal Sees Spirits - Examples from Experience  All Species1. Eyes will follow something unseen with great interest. 2. Ears will do the same as #13. Their attention will be harder to get (I think because spiritual communication is much more involved and attention filling)4. There will usually be a brief but perceptible pause after the behavior as the creature exits the spiritual communication "mode". 5. Familiar behavior! When a loved one of the animal dies, it can really traumatize the animal friend - just as much and sometimes more than its human friends. The spirit of that loved one appearing can make the animal's transition much easier - you might see the animal "perk up" and act like the person is in the room. For example, the animal will roll onto its back and expose the vulnerable belly while making happy body language (purring, wagging tail, etc) - or whatever behavior the animal exhibited when greeting the departed loved one, playing with them, etc.Dogs!(Including the All Species List too)1. Specific barking at the spiritThey will bark at what their ears and eyes are tracking. The tone of the barkwill tell you what kind of communication is taking place - is it a playful bark? The spirit may be playing, indicating an "all is well" communication.   Is it a territorial bark like your dog uses when someone is on your lot? This usually means a spirit is new to the dog's [...]

The Rocking Chair, The Grabber Pt. 3, and the Line


Well hi there, friends, newcomers, skeptics and people who got here by accident! I don't always post on time, due to illness, but when I get to post - oh boy! am I excited! Spirits are my life. They support me, challenge me, confuse me, educate me, love or hate me, and most of all they inspire me and keep my curiosity going.We are born, we live, we die, we are born. Born into the next place, the next life, the next iteration of an amazing cycle. How wonderful! Death is a loaded word. Life continues and evolves, we learn and grow - to what end is not clear to me nor any spirit I've spoken with.But one thing they've abundantly clear is that humans stay human for at least centuries. The same emotions, the same curiosity, the same need to communicate with others. In this post I want to share three things with you that have happened lately, and each illustrates different parts of humanity that remain past the barrier of Death.The Rocking ChairIn the living room of where I live there is a rocking chair. I can easily hear people rocking on it when I am in different parts of the house - we all love to rock peacefully sometimes. It makes a cluck-clock sound, either slow or fast, and due to the place it is set (on top of a central air vent) acoustics carries the sound all through the house.Last night I heard it at 2am. I thought first: someone can't sleep and is trying to rock themselves to sleep.. Maybe someone got up for another reason. I start to worry, thinking they might be sick or in need. I'm a bit of a mother hen, so I went to investigate.No one, no light was on, no tv was on. I then saw one of my familiar family spirits - the spirit of a little girl with a babydoll dress and apron, with curly brown hair. She is a family member long dead, about 55 years dead I think.She smiled at me warmly, tilted her head to the side, and was amused by rocking in the chair. The chair iteself was not moving, but the sound was there. As she noticed it was keeping me awake, the noise stopped and she vanished shyly, as is her MO, giggling and leaving a feeling of a sunny day in her wake.She likes to rock. She likes to play hide and seek, she likes to watch my family grow, she likes to watch TV, listen to music, and amuse herself in various ways. Other ancestors care for her, although she is old enough not to need care - she likes being a child. She likes being cared for and giving others a feeling of fulfilment when they care for her. She is still shy, still curious, still playful, still kind.She can also feel cold brick, although she is touching a wall.. I can feel that when she communicates. I usually can't filter out sensations when spirits communicate - I get the senses all at once with the emotions and words.The Grabber Pt. 3If you are not familiar with the Grabber, it's a good idea to read the first and second parts. To summerize, he is a spirit that likes to grab my hips, butt, ankles and wrists. He also whispers into the ears of my significant other when he sleeps.. All of which is something I strongly ask him to stop.Lately, on my recent visits to my significant others' house, the Grabber has again earned his name: he grabs me.Dead, he still shows many human emotions. He is lewd, crude, and downright touchy-feely due to his lustful, desiring nature. He is jealous of my partner, angry at times. Angry at me too, as I get upset at his presence. He loves to scare me, he is power hungry that way, and when he manages to freak me out enough for me to react, he will often feel e[...]

The Grabber, Part 2 - Update


It took some time for me to build the courage to look at the Grabber long enough to get a sketch. I scanned the sketch and hope to convey the body shape, the strange skewed head shape, and the erratic lines that terminate his form.
I was worried that focusing on him would call his attention to me some more, but luckily it had the opposite effect.

Not a great sketch, but it's extremely hard to draw something you're not seeing just with your eyes. The Grabber isn't a manifesting spirit, so the Other sense sees him like echolocation or like feeling a statue in the dark and then drawing what it looks like.

He has progressed in communicating. Last time the Grabber was doing what his name suggests - grabbing me. No speech, no communication of any sort.

Now we have a name: Alan/Alain/Allen
And he said one more word: ataxia (muscle dysfunction symptom of various illnesses such as ALS, MS, etc.)

That's all he said. Now he's a little more quiet and reserved. But his behavior has changed. He's gone from grabbing and pushing me (amongst other minor aggressive shows) to shifting his attention to my partner. He "kneels" (his body doesn't move like the living) by the bedside of my partner and listens to him sleep - sometimes whispering or speaking into his ear as he slumbers. I have told my partner and asked him if he recalls dreams or feels strange - so far no dreams recalled. I haven't noticed a change in his behavior (my partner) but I am keeping a watch.

Allen's energy is erratic at best. For some reason I sense his left shoulder more than anything else, and see there are freckle-like spots on them.. hard to draw as they move, shift, and even his musculature moves around. His face moves and changes shape, usually a skewed and coarse angle. The energy surrounding him is dark, like a shadow, yet electric. Black lightening. His skin is very, very soft - the softest skin I can imagine - but it's firm. He can be slightly warm or very cold.

He's naked, barefoot, as far as I can tell. He is not 100% there - as there are parts of him missing. Spirits do this when they don't think about a part of their projection - more on that later. Gotta split and rest.

Sorry I haven't been posting as much, I'm dealing with a lot right now and hope to post more soon. I have many things I'd like to share with you soon :)

The Grabber


This is a recent experience I have had that's quite different from many I have had - updates will be posted as they come.I have many disturbing experiences with ghosts that do not respond to my communications, but this new group of spirits is quite tacit despite the ample attempts to commune on my part. I want to tell you about the ghost I have dubbed: the Grabber.At night, laying in bed and asleep - I am awoken by a violent dream and feel as though someone is spooning me. I am alone in bed. I figure it's just the dream, as I try not to take anything seriously until I am well awake or I feel like there is no emergency. A lot of spirits like to touch me, hug me, caress my hair - affectionately. It's not weird. I smiled and figured a spirit was just trying to comfort me during a particularly painful night. I shrug this off and try and get some sleep.Again awoken by the feeling someone is touching me, this time grabbing my wrist. I communicate firmly, "this is inappropriate, I do not like this, and please leave until you are ready to be civil." My wrist hurts but I manage to get to sleep again.There are noises in the house, pops, moans, the sound as if someone is walking on the roof and another is gently punching the nearby door. Gently punching is weird in itself. I start to get pissed off - I want sleep - but at the same time: why is this spirit acting this way?The next day, after a night of ignoring all these sounds - (the same sounds occurring any time I am alone in the house and sometimes when my SO is there) I am making myself breakfast. Everything is very quiet. The cats are (I am visiting my SO's house) asleep and calm. As I go to put the coconut milk back into the fridge, I feel a hard full-handed pinch (as if using all the fingers not just forefinger and thumb)  pinch my hip. I howl in pain as I lean against the kitchen counter to stabilize myself.  I ask my spirit companions to try and speak to this spirit as soon as possible, maybe try and keep it away from me.Nothing else happens that day.That night, it's cool and the neighborhood is quiet - only two crickets and thick silence. I slip into bed and read a little bit, put my book away after ten minutes and then turn off the light. I almost fall asleep when the noises start. The talking. Like many spirits, it sounds like two people talking in the next room - you can hear it very well but can make out very little. Muffled. Sounds like these ones are talking about someone in a derogative manner, mocking someone in exaggeration then laughing. I clear my mind and open it to the ether's conversations and try and see if I can understand it. I can make out a couple of swear words, but apart from that, it's like trying to squeeze myself through a cat door. Putting your "feelers" out to listen to a specific conversation, even if it seems close by, can be restrictive for various reasons. Perhaps this reason was that I was frightened.Two days went by with nothing occurring, and then it came at me like a ton of bricks - someone pushed my back - two big hands - and went through me. I put up my defenses, a meditation where you build a spherical wall around yourself, and sat down so the next time I wouldn't be knocked down. When a spirit forcefully pushes through you, it can hurt a lot. Having a pain disorder, I cannot say how much it can hurt a normal person - but I can say it is not mitigated by any pain medication or alcohol (I am not[...]

Drones, Buzzing, and Sine Songs: Strange Sounds Ghosts Make


I was reading an article just now about Near Death Experiences (NDE's) when I read that some people experience a buzzing or ringing sound during these events. Some people without Out of Body Experiences (OBE's) say the same thing. Sometimes it is like a bug or natural sound, sometimes very mechanical. I immediately put down the article and Googled other sonic experiences of this kind. Many people hear this.During my decades of experience, I may have stumbled upon an insight I haven't read about. Perhaps, perhaps not. The point of this log is to keep all these experiences public and written in detail and in truth.The Dead make these buzzing sounds.Back in the 1980's, when I first saw movies like Terminator and Aliens - with new computer generated sounds - these sounds struck a chord in me. The people who spoke to me in dreams and hung out at the end of my bed MADE similar sounds. The people who helped me at school that people seemed to ignore made noises like that.. As a child I thought these were imaginary friends, something to scare my friends with - bogeymen I had to shoo for said friends and young relatives in dark places.Those weird sounds were too brief! I hated that!! I needed to hear more! These sounds felt good and felt like I had a memory that wanted to be remembered.In the mid 90's I heard Nine Inch Nails for the first time, The Downward Spiral. More of these sounds, but longer. More of a variety. I quickly became an ardent fan. More sounds. Closer to the spirits' sounds. Getting further hungry for more of these sounds between albums, I adored musical artists like (in no particular order) Download (Cevin Key {sp}), Lustmord, Frontline Assembly, VNV Nation, and of course Aphex Twin. (Tons more bands, but these will suffice for now, unless you wish to have a more complete list?)They had managed to reproduce these very specific sounds using machines, computers and specific programs which generated fantastically sibling sounds to the ones my noncorporeal friends made. I needed these programs! I got a few of them and started playing with sounds, but also making songs as it was great fun and people seemed to like them sometimes. I remember playing with CoolEdit and Impulse Tracker one night with my spirit friends, stretching out a mix of sine waveforms with a recording of a screen door hinge married faithfully to it. Slow it down, speed it up.. Tossing that sound salad for a while till it sounded right."What is that sound?" I asked, no - more like begged the spirit."Us." It replied in kind of a shrugging tone. By tone I mean it expressed that through direct communication.What a thrilling moment for me! I experimented more and more and attempted more metaphysical mimicry. Spirits were curious, interested, and sometimes maybe even offput by these sounds - offerring at times the ol' sentiment of: is that what I sound like?But it isn't just sound. That is the missing element I was trying to find in my experiments - what's missing? The sound is identical but I don't quite feel "there" yet. Inside these sounds are direct, I wanna say emotional, communications.. But it's not always emotion. I want to describe a few examples of these sensory mixes as best I can for you to experience. Each occurence and sound example described is a unique experience - not something wanting to be in the lexicon or English/Ghostish translation of ghost communications (as far as I can tell.) - Imagine[...]