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plan for a perfect life

plan for a perfect life -

Last Build Date: Thu, 02 Aug 2007 16:58:42 GMT

Copyright: NOINDEX

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 16:58:42 GMT

last night i came home really really high and watched the news about the bridge in minnesota and then fell asleep. i woke up at 5 am to a magic bullet infomercial and they were making smoothies, and i wanted a smoothie so badly that i almost got up and made myself one right that minute.

i fucking can't watch TV anymore, i don't have the patience for any of the shows on TV. not even the good ones like the daily show. i've watched top chef and my super sweet 16 and the hills all the way through, and i hate those shows, a lot. besides top chef.

this fucking guy john who is a 31 year old fucking loser barista with me at work is the most obnoxious person in the world. i can hadle his stories of raspberry mate fame and all the fucking fun coffee facts, but what i can't handle is how fake he is to all the customers. he has four lines that i hear at least four times every goddamn day.
"why don't you try our specialty bread of the day, or as the catholics would say, our daily bread!"(this one goes with a praying hand motion.
evertime someone orders a romeo sandwhich and he brings it out to them, he startles people in the store by screaming "romeo, romeo, HERE fore art thou romeo!"
if he has to swipe someone's credit card twice: "if you listen real close you can hear the machine going 'i think i can i think i can'!"
"that's our new honey wheat bread, it's so good, made some french toast with that just last week, it was mmmmm so good." (he has never made french toast with it. he told me.)
he pulled his muscle at work the other day and is still limping. it's so awesome.

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 22:05:57 GMT

wow, one of the most fun four days i've had in a while! here's to the oregon coast.

Thu, 17 May 2007 16:01:08 GMT

it's 9am, i'm at work, i'm still drunk, and a accidentally made a ceiling tile fall down in one of the conference rooms. i thought i was pretty stealthy about sneaking away. then i realized there was a ton of white dust chunks in my hair.


Tue, 08 May 2007 03:49:25 GMT

since when has the news been so funny? it's like the author of the article is fully aware of how completely unimportant their subject is.

so it goes.

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 15:36:29 GMT

kurt is up in heaven now.

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 17:16:17 GMT

i have absolutely no work ethic when it comes to homework. i literally just don't do it, and it's a problem. i really honestly don't know what to do about about it.

i have very little patience or self-discipline or attention span

i haven't even looked at classes i want to take next year, simply because my mom told me to, which makes it something i should do, which means that i will put it off as much as possible.

i'm driving myself absolutely crazy
but i am enjoying myself

i am in love with golden gate park.

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 18:46:10 GMT

i want to learn more and know things that i don't need to know but want to know, and i want to talk to people who will make me think about the world differently, or at least think about something differently, and it doesn't even really matter about how i think about the world, because it will always be changing and i can think about it however i want, and it'll never all fit together and it will never be right to anyone but me, and it won't even be right to me, so i might as well try to think as many different things in my lifetime as possible, as long as it's interesting and right to me in some sense.

i just wish i went out and learned stuff more often.

damnnnnnzzzz the venus fly traps are doing so well they're all red inside, which means they must be eating something and i put my finger in one the other day and it closed on it and was SO SCARY even though it was just a leaf that knows how to move. HOW DO LEAVES KNOW HOW TO MOVE? maybe this will be my first learning project. although i think wondering that is probably more interesting than the answer actually is.

think about all the songs you know the words to. every song ever in your life that you even know at least a chorus or a verse to. that's so many! but we never think about them consciously really, unless we're learning them or singing along. but so much of our brains have all the words to songs, and what a weird thing to keep somewhere in our brains to pull out when we sing something.

man. what do i spend time doing?

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 18:13:41 GMT

i think this is the coolest thing ever:

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 16:41:27 GMT

welp, my computer died in every way possible, so they replaced everything, including the hard drive, so everything on it is gone. mostly just sucks about my pictures and music. but now i get to rebuild my music library, which is kind of neat.

la la la

i love golden gate park, and i love how acceptable it is to be drunk or high in public. seriously. sometimes i feel like there are no consequences for my actions.

i wish i had some classes i liked right now. i also wish i could remember my dream from last night better, because i've been remembering my dreams pretty well lately, and i think i should start writing them down.

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 06:00:19 GMT

so i was homeless last night. i slept in a field, on a bench of an outdoor patio or a pizza place, and in a 24 hour donut place. this means i need to sleep now, so i shall elaborate later. but it was the least normal 30 hours of my life.

I'm Phelan This!

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 23:40:42 GMT

serial killers!!!!
i know i've said it before, and i know i'll say it again, but they're SO interesting! i'm doing a speech on them for public speaking. HOW COOL.
Aj's started calling me again a lot which makes me happy. i love it here so much. but i have been slightly homesick lately.
lara and i got to choose our dorm room for next year. lara had a shitload of credits, so we got to choose some of the first. 5th Floor Phelan, whhhhhat???? across the hall from scott and emil, down the hall from alex and andrew, great view of the caf for people watching, a corner room so it might be a little bigger........ i really can't wait and wish we could move in right now. we're going to have the sickest room next year.

i think i might switch to a visual arts major. who the hell knows.

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 06:53:44 GMT

some days i think i know what it's all about, and some days i have no idea what i'm doing here, and some days i'm in between and i have to try to do what i always do because i have to make something happen today so that i can get to the end of it.
i hate it when my friends are unhappy and i can't do anything about it.
i think buddhism is one of the most logical religions i have ever heard of. i like it. i wish i did my homework, especially now that it's finals week. i wish i had conditioned or trained myself to do this shit at some point in my life.
see my reflection?

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 23:53:25 GMT

last night i had the most stimulating and important conversation i've had in a long time. alex told me and lara a story about part of his life that was incredible. it was like watching a movie or reading a book, except that it was my good friend telling me it. and then we just talked about life and stuff and ever since then my brain has been going 100 miles an hour and i am just thinking way too hard. except then a phone call and drama from home that i am directly involved in and is ridiculous and silly and don't want to be a part of and it stopped my thought flow.

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 20:25:06 GMT

sari called me at 8:45 this morning! holy shit! i have not talked to her in a long long time.

the black hand

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 03:06:53 GMT

her band is called the black hand. don't worry, she can pull this shirt off.


Fri, 24 Nov 2006 00:35:15 GMT

went to see stranger than fiction today with my cousins. a guy sat down in front of me, and i spent some time trying to figure out if it was this kid ben fisher that i knew in middle school. then i realized that the guy had had his left hand recently amputated.

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 09:56:25 GMT

i'm not exactly sure what i'm doing in college or if i want to keep doing it. i mean the actual college classes thing. not the people or the living situation or anything. i mean i don't know why i'm in classes that don't really matter to me and that i'm just going to get bad grades in or stress myself out over because i don't do the work. i don't know what i want to be later in life, but i don't feel like it's going to be something that college is going to help me with (besides the fact that college education helps people get employed, i know). the only thing i can see myself being that i would definitely need an education for is being a teacher or something. other than that... there are definitely classes that i want to take, mostly visual arts classes, or creative writing, or like film production. but even that isn't something i want to do as a career. who knows.

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 03:37:37 GMT

heh, let's see if i can write an 8 page paper before midnight. ready, GO!

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 06:22:48 GMT

so.... i dunno.
there are people here i really care about a lot, and there are time when i really have a lot of fun, and everything is really new and exciting.

but i really really miss bend and the lack of mood swings, just knowing that every day is going to be fun.


Sat, 21 Oct 2006 18:16:29 GMT

i just woke up from a highly amusing dream that i would like to write down before i forget it.

my mom and i were at a bookstore, just browsing around and stuff. we sat down in this picnic area where there were some other parents and families and stuff, and we started talking about different books i used to like when i was a kid. this father guy overheard and started talking with us about his daughter and how she used to read that too, and how she works for an airline now which is a really big deal.
then this other father got up and started talking about how he was doing the community a huge serivice by reading to the homeless, but how some people didn't agree with it. we asked him how anyone could think that was a bad thing, and so he started talking about the books he read to them, and he got really really fired up and was yelling and sounded like an angry preacher. it turned out that he was trying to brainwash the homeless into loving reagan and nixon, and how wonderful that was. as he was talking i looked around at the other families, and they all looked really taken aback, so i was like, thank god they don't all agree with him. so he finished his speech and i stopped paying attention for a moment, and when i looked back all the parents were like yelling to each other about something, and the guy had stormed off, and apparently someone had made a really rude comment to the republican guy, and all the parents were making fun of him. then this gay couple was sitting there and asked if anyone would mind if they smoked a joint. then all the parents started bragging to each other, and then the daughter who worked for the airline told me that her airline had gotten so bankrupt that now they only made napkins. i looked and saw that some guy had asked my mom what she did for a living and she said that she sold squares of purple velvet, and i elbowed her for lying but she kept making up this story about her purple velvet square business. then all the parents began running around comparing salaries, and then i woke up.


Thu, 19 Oct 2006 19:30:23 GMT

last night an amazing thing happened. i had a 6-7 page paper due today, of which i only had four pages done last night. i had accepted the fact that i would probably be up until at least 3 am working on it because that is just one of the facts of my life. taylor and pete were talking about how they didn't have any work so they were going to come hang out, and i was like, well that sucks because i can't because i have SO much work to do.
taylor tells me that he is going to send me to the library (it's 8:30), give me an hour to do reasearch, and then i better have the paper done by midnight, so i could hang out with them.
i went to the library, and busted that shit out by 10:30. it was obscene. i think that was the first time i've had a paper finished before midnight the night before since, oh, maybe sophomore year.
we didn't really do anything exciting after that, but i felt so proud of myself and so free for not having anything to do (besides study for my midterm tonight..... let's ignore that).


i am becoming the choices we're making

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 07:40:05 GMT

i am trying to stop finishing people's sentences, and get better at listening.

i really like it when it gets to that point in the night when i have had enough coffee and not done enough homework and me and judith get to scream at each other about murder.

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 08:21:45 GMT

personally i don't know.

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 01:20:03 GMT

finding out that steve irwin died last night was the craziest thing ever. a fire alarm was going off when we got back to the dorm, and i thought for a fleeting moment that everyone was going to die, on the same night as steve irwin.


Tue, 29 Aug 2006 04:39:55 GMT

i think that i have strep throat.