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Craving



Craving - LiveJournal.com



Last Build Date: Wed, 07 Sep 2011 23:19:16 GMT

 



Writer's Block: Blast to the past

Wed, 07 Sep 2011 23:19:16 GMT




I would tell myself to keep myself away from women till I was at least 25... go to school, or go into the military just leave the women out of it right away!



Memories

Tue, 23 Aug 2011 21:40:31 GMT

Too many memories
of things lost and destroyed
Too many pasts
that leav me annoyed
I wonder where these things
have gotten me today
Cuz even to these ends
I still continue getting betrayed.
I miss so many things
in these typed fonted pages
But as I look around them,
I start to get retrapped into cages.
These memories are here to remind
sometimes to think
sometimes to rewind
Too many memories
Too many pasts.



These days

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 05:11:59 GMT

These days are the days in which we live or die
These days are the days in which we smile or cry
These days are the days in which we drown or fly
These days are our choices
These days are our instincts
These days are our visions
These days
our only days
to see who and what we are
These days we make an impact
for the good or the bad
for the indifferent or the caring
for the heart or the soul
Give into these days
for it is our duty and our reason.



Lullaby

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 09:00:04 GMT

Ive broken through all your promises
And came to realize
Youve hurt me too much
youve dragged me to far
Ive fallen through the sky
Its time to move on to another lullaby

Destroyed by your heart
Broken by your dreams
Youve beat me too much
youve bruised me to hard
With the looks in your eye
Its time to move on to another lullaby


You gave me your promise
to never hurt me
you got lost in your own words
and forgot to decide
Its time to move on to another lullaby

Goodbye Lullaby
I thought you were the one
Goodbye Lullaby
Never thought you would be done
Goodbye Lullaby


I am still alive

So its time to move on
To another lullaby....



Your More important than the sun

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 02:56:00 GMT

I would rather wake up to you,
Than see the sun rise in the morn,
I would rather hear your voice,
Than live my life all torn.

Your smile and laugh are toxic
Keeping me afloat like that of a boat,
That love still exists in this world,
Your words keep me alive with such hope.

I would rather wake up to your smile,
Than let another day pass,
I would rather wake to your eyes,
Than finish another task.

Your happiness and hope are worthwile,
Keeping me in the grasps of greatness,
That your closeness to me is growing,
Your soft tones so full of sweetness.

I would rather wake up to you,
Than see the sun rise in the morn,
I would rather hear your voice,
Than live my life all torn.



The New Deception

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 05:59:17 GMT

Ive found my new deception
Its masked in my fate
Covered in reflection
In the mirror on my face

Crawling inside my mind
It devoures all traces
My eyes gone completely blind
Only the memories of my races

I believed it was nothing foul
Only to discover hate
Hiding in a seemless cowl
Ready to control my fate

Im tearing away this pain
This deception of my mind
A new path on a train
To a better hope left to find

Ive found my "old" deception
Its masked in my fate
Covered in reflection
In the mirror on my face



Broken Hinges

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 04:54:04 GMT

These hinges have opened
And opened and opened some more
They have become weary and hard
seeing them held in place
with the rust of time and the movement of salt

These hinges of my heart
no longer want to open
They have become stuck
shut to the world
with its hate and its blindness

These hinges are sealed
with only a crowbars chance
of being opened
by the purest of emotion and love

These hinges are tired
of the same words
of the same stories
of the same illusions

These hinges are broken



You

Thu, 31 May 2007 04:40:35 GMT

Why cant I have the one like you
you, the one who speaks there mind,
you, the one who wants to be a queen
you, the one that would treat me like a king
Why cant I have that one like you

Is it something I say, something I do
Why cant I have the one like you
such a pretty smile and a pretty face
a beautiful mind and wonderful taste
Why cant I have the one like you
who makes me smile as if on cue.

Why cant I have the one like you
Id treat you like the queen you are
Id treat you like youve never been
Id treat you like there would never be another
Why cant I have that one like you

Oh yeah... you live too far away...



...

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 06:55:02 GMT

*shifty eyes*



Cold days of life

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 01:33:59 GMT

On these cold days of life
all I see is failure
On these cold days of life
all I see is pain
On these cold days of life
all I see is indecision
On these cold days of life
all I see is rain

These are the tears in front of my eyes
These are the tears that grace my face
These are the drops of lies and disgust
These are the drops of my lonliness

On these cold days of life
all I know is hate
On these cold days of life
all I want is love
On these cold days of life
all I do is shudder
On these cold days of life
all I want is death

This is the death that covers my night
This is the death that haunts my days
This is the death that drowns my hopes
This is the death that I wish was sooner



Denied

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 18:58:36 GMT

I trotted along a tattered path
unknowing what lie ahead
I denied the stone
I denied the way
I denied the world
my unbridaled rage

Given the choices that must be made
not fathoming whats next
I denied the air
I denied the decision
I denied the world
my deadly precision

The trees told me to follow them
confused of there offering
I denied the branches
I denied the sway
I denied the world
in every way

I deny you
I deny me
I deny my existence
my denial is complete



Mistaken Silence

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 05:40:09 GMT

I've seen it so many times
Your face so silent
the expression still

Your blank stares
befuddle me
confound in me
a worry unprecidented

I feel hopeless
and daunted
unsure of words
not yet articulated

My mind evaporating
from the unknown
you answer no questions
you utter no thoughts

Yet here I am
destroyed by insignificance
anguishing over ghosts

You are happy and content
Everything you need is in me
For you feel no thoughts are necessary

Everything is zen



I feel

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 22:28:01 GMT

I feel numb

completely undone
absolutely destructed
anhialated and obstructed

yet i feel numb

my heart feels empty
feels cold and shrivled
its hollow unrivaled

yet i feel numb

my brain cant take anymore
my soul cant take it either
drench the rag, swallow the ether

yet everything feels numb

the knife excruciating
with its cold and hot
inside my heart it will continually rot

Numb

no more

its all

numb



This ones for you, you know who you are:)

Sun, 22 Oct 2006 22:40:33 GMT

As I sit in my chair
With a smile on my face
As our conversation takes off
We are in no race
Your words are the solution
to every puzzle and maze
They solve every doubt in my heart
You make me smile with every word
Today my life given a new happiness
Someone to cherish
Someone to behold
You are that someone
that someday I wish to hold

If I never met you it would break my heart
but I will also never be unhappy
with you in my life
no matter how far apart

Youve given me new hope
a new renewall to my existence
Just your words alone
give me all the assistance

Thank you for being you
Thank you for letting me be me
Your happy face and wonderous smile
let me be happy and free



The Chosen One

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 06:57:23 GMT

Cry me to sleep with your broken promises
Cry me a river with your empty stares
Cry me into pieces with a weak embrace

I fought the waves to get to you
I fought them again to keep you
I fought them some more and got you

The love was there i swear
The love was pure so i felt
The love was the most perfect

Now I lay here confused
Now I lay here disillusioned
Now I wonder where I am

Your not the chosen one
Your not the perfection
Your not the right decision

But where do I go
But what do I do
But how do I see

Im so
So very
confused...



um ok

Sun, 21 May 2006 03:37:13 GMT

Everytime I cry
I feel like I have died
Everytime I smile
Its because youve made it worth while

Ive torn your heart in two
cuz I didnt know what to do
And now Im running with some glue
cuz I know I wanna love you

Now its gaining back your trust
that i let go to rust
Thats got me trying hard
To winning back your heart

I hope you can forgive me now
for being a retarded delapitated cow
I hope you can forgive me
because with you here I am free



Beauty

Thu, 04 May 2006 06:21:36 GMT

Beauty queen
of my every dream
Beauty smile
Beauty Kiss
If I had them
Im sure I would miss



... to be continued... got sidetracked... :(



Because of you

Tue, 02 May 2006 02:21:14 GMT

Because of you I cant make her smile
Because of you Im not worth her while
Because of you, she loves no more
Because of you, shes shutting the door

Its not your right to hurt again
Youve hurt her before, now just let it mend
Its not your right to push in hateful
Leave her alone to her new table

Its all because of you
that she hasnt a clue
of what could be
if she was with me

she hates your ignorance and your deceit
she hates your contempt and your sour treat
let her have happiness and bliss in her life
let me shower her in love and make her my wife

you think im crazy and completely off
that she'll just leave me completely distraught
but ill tell you, your the one missing out
cuz for her Ill always be devout

Im not like him, or him, or him
i know youve heard that before
and i know it clouds your judgment
ive been there before

but ill show you something different...
I promise..



Faded

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 01:14:39 GMT

Faded are the gleams in my eyes
Faded is the moon in the sky
Faded away my ambition and hope
Faded into the noose of a rope

I find myself each and every day
Confused as to what next to say
What I should do at that next turn
And where I should go, where it wont burn

Faded away are the stars of your eyes
Faded are the nights that were ours
Faded away are the shared kisses
Faded the chance youll be my misses


I cant do this much anymore
So tired of finding a key to this door
Without my decisions making much sense
My headache growing, extremely immense

Faded and gone to the world of hate
Faded my chances of finding a mate
Faded, destroyed my heart of blood
Faded, worn spattered in mud

I have no more ambition for this
No reason to live, every turn a miss
Belonging to no one and nothing in all
On my last string I begin to fall

Faded are the gleams in my eyes
Faded is the moon in the sky
Faded away my ambition and hope
Faded into the noose of a rope



Corrugated

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 06:50:31 GMT

Im broken down and torn apart
ripped to pieces are my cardboard heart
Its been used and passed on
It feels like a used coupon

Fringed away from the corners in
I dont even know where the seams begin
Tape me up without care
and toss me in the corner with dispare

I hate my corrugated heart
and its ongoing passionate start
but it runs my life
and controles my future
for my brain wont listen
where my heart fits in

Faded from the color new
the rain has covered my heart in dew
the rain of tears and misery
where it belongs, still a mystery

Used, destroyed, maladjusted
from your knife ive even rusted
stuck in me for ever and a day
youd forgetten it in me when you threw me away.....



Drowned Intentions

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 07:16:12 GMT

On times like these
I look to the seas
for a direction of travel
so my mind will unravel

Running for that opposite shore
hoping that theres a new open door
Passing through waves disasterous
On a new trip feeling adventurous

When the storm closes in
and the world starts caving
there is no escape from death
no way out of the waters depth

Im not gonna make it there
Ive tried with too much dispair
No more adventure or direction
I know no more of my intention

Im crying again, but feel no tears
I will be smashed and broken on these waves for years



Reasons

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 03:47:23 GMT

There is no reason
for the reason
that Im reasoning with you

There is no solution
to why you put me through
all the tears you put me through

There is no explanation
for why i love you the way i do
why i love you without a clue

There is nothing
because you make nothing
you make me into nothing

this is what you do

my heart is not your toy
its not your experiment
its not there decision its yours

for in the end,

There is no reason
for the reason
that im reasoning with you



Im the Woman

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 00:05:20 GMT

I want something simple
something that use to be cherished
I want to get married
I want to have kids
I want to be loved and love in return

Does this simplicity exist anymore
It always just seems to have no door
All they ever want is sex
All they ever want is to be wild

Ive tried being a "man"
but I cant
I have to big of a heart
so big that it breaks
thats fragile

They seem so genuine
then they turn so fake
I just want to live
but not as a "man"

I want to live with my heart
yet it hurts so much
I want to live with my heart
yet no heart wants my life

Choke me please
for there is no ease
no distinguishing factor
no reason no point

I hate this existence
yet I can live no other
screw my heart
screw my stupidity
I just want to be loved
not sexual pitty



When all I want to do is Die...

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 08:04:52 GMT

When all I want to do is Die
When all I want to do is cry
When all I want to do is hide
When all I want to do is Die

I cant stop it from happening
I am too weak
I cant stop it from destroying me
Every single week

I have no will to shelter myself
From all the pain they give
I have no heart to shelter my feelings
From all the sensitivity

All Im doing is crying anymore
Lying here on this cold lifeless floor
All Im doing is crying evermore
Lying here, just wanting an open door

I keep getting used up
My heart trampled on
I keep getting abused
My heart is about gone

Yet I cant see the signs
To stop it all from happening
Yet I wont stop the things
To stop it all from escalating

When all I want to do is Die
When all I want to do is cry
When all I want to do is hide
When all I want to do is Die



FUCK!!!!
*Cries*