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H.R. Hognblog

No one likes a know-it-all. (Guess you came to the wrong place then!)

Last Build Date: Tue, 05 Sep 2017 13:51:51 +0000


What One Restaurant Owner Has To Say About You!

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 05:00:00 +0000

This is Chapter One: Dissection of a Blog.Just for fun, I decided…how great would it be to dissect someone else’s blog?! Genius you say, right? Well this blog is REEEEEAAAAALLLLLLYYYY long, but I actually think it's worth the pull up a comfy chair, grab a beer and have a go at it!SO…I choose a candidate that has a lot to say, someone who has some sort of position in society (ok, by no means is this any sort of relevant position, but it’s a business owner. Someone who is in the service industry, which in most cases means they are in the industry of servicing people. What is the old saying about this industry? The customer is always right. When you run a business that people actually come to, an actual place where people physically place themselves and pay money for a product or service, you damn well better offer them the best. You damn well better offer them WHAT THEY WANT.How many people out there believe this to be true?If you have a store that sells paper and someone comes to you for paper…you better give them paper…not paper scented dog turds. It just won’t cut it folks. Pretty soon, people are going to go somewhere else for their paper…and your good name is going with them. The power of the people is quite a powerful thing in the retail and service industry. (Of course, there are some exceptions for that, considering that some people have NO STANDARDS AT ALL. Some people actually like paper scented dog shit.)Ok. So, I will not tell you the name of the blogger or the business name for that matter. I want you to be able to view the screenshots with an unbiased eye, a blog in its entirety, you make your own opinion about it. The blog in question is/was originally posted on a public website, anyone is open to read it, so I am not technically divulging any type of “secrets” or things that the blogger doesn’t want the whole world to know. I am also not liable for making any sort of false accusation about the blog owner. I am simply showing you what I read, then giving you my opinion about it.Enjoy!If the customers look at the menu and they are disappointed, and it is happening a think you would change the menu. I've worked at many restaurants...when something isn't's gone. Any corporate restaurant will take the complaints and use them as constructive criticism. I have studied the menu. In this case, the blogger is forgetting to mention that her Italian restaurant offers it's patrons a choice of a baked potato or pasta with every meal. For every 10 customers, 7 ask about the baked potato. That is not confirmed statistics...just a generalization of the comments received from people.The blogger also makes a comment about "the painful ordeal". I don't think people would be happy knowing that this restaurant owner considers taking orders from her paying customers a "painful ordeal". I would think that the majority of people who live in this area would boycott her business just for that comment alone.Wow. Ok, so these people are really picky and they are obviously insane since they didn't like the chicken. Her fault, not yours. Nothing you can do about that, right? Sorry...the customer is ALWAYS wrong.Unhappy about life in general. Does this restaurant owner have a degree in psychology too! That is amazing, instead of trying to make this customer they don't tell everyone they know how bad your restaurant decide that they are unhappy in their life and this is the sole reason they thought your chicken sucked. HMMM...reallyIt is hard these days to find decent drug free workers. Especially trained chefs and line cooks who will work for way, WAY less than every other restaurant in town! Amazing how that works huh! You pay decent wages and you get decent employees. Not transient, never cooked a meal in their life, breaking into your joint and stealing your supplies type employees. It's cause and effect lady. Didn't you learn that in first grade...because I think everyone around you did and it's a decent lesson in life to have a firm grasp on.OOPS! Too [...]

How to Distinguish Tourons from Tourists.

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 09:27:00 +0000

Before I even start this blog i'd like to make one thing very clear. I'm not really bashing any of the parties in what I am about to write...i'm just playfully nudging a know, laughing WITH you, not AT you. It's just a little fun and no one get your undies in a knot. No one try to start a new Bend Hates Meany-Mean Blog where everyone decides to boycott me, maybe fire me from my job at the radio station. We'll have none of that.I will say outright, that tourism in this city is what puts food on my table and pays every single one of my bills. If it wasn't for tourism i'd be living under a blue tarp out on China Hat. So I would never want people to think that tourism needs to go away in this city. I simply want to offer up to you fine folks of the observations, on the difference between tourists and tourons.-----------Top Ten Ways to Tell the Difference Between a Tourist and a Touron¹10. Tourons ask for a pint of Bud Light when they go out to eat. Tourists always request Coke or Diet Coke, even though every place they already went to said they only had Pepsi.9. Tourons sit all cozy near the fire down at the Rock, sipping on Peppermint Patties in their fleece earmuffs and Uggs, not a board or ski in sight. Tourists are Bam Margera style running your ass over, all the way down the entire mountain.8. Tourons don't even realize they're not on I-5 anymore and are driving 75 on the Parkway. Tourists drive 45 mph because that's what the signs tell them to do and the last thing they want to do is draw any unwanted attention, by any of the fine men & women of the BPD.7. Tourons are hogging up all the seats and 2 parking spots each at the Victorian. Tourists are down at IHOP eating all you can eat pancakes and leaving 6% tips because they've got to save every last hundred for their day up at Bachelor.6. Tourons are everyone on the road NOT driving a Ford or Chevy monster truck, Subaru Outback or Biodiesel Mercedes Benz. Tourists coasted into town on fumes because they spent all their money on weed.5. Tourons are stopped in the middle of Circle 11 arguing with their wife about breaking the GPS. Tourists are mistaking the bike paths for roads after one too many Cinder Cones at the Owl's Nest.4. Tourons change their plans for the entire day when the forecast says rain. Tourists crack open another micro brew, smoke a bowl and wait 45 minutes before they go out.3. Tourons wash their car when they get to town since it got "real dirty" coming over the pass. Tourists don't have time to wash their cars because they're busy trying to find a hotel that costs less than $20 a night.2. Tourons are taking over downtown like it's "Night of the Living Dead" gobbling up all the expensive trinkets and knick-knacks like Pac-Man in a Louis Vuitton patterned velour tracksuit all hopped up on pac-man jr.s Ritalin. Tourists are running around in quite the same manner...only they're not spending any money while they do it.1. The number one way to tell the difference between a touron and a tourist? By their bumper stickers.Examples of common touron stickers:Examples of common tourist stickers:Please understand that many occasions can not necessarily be determined by these 10 things alone. In some cases, new recruits to the area are being "mistaken" for tourons. Under certain circumstances, some new recruits are placed in the category called, "Overglorified Tourons" which we may or may not discuss in a future blog. In many cases these overglorified tourons are typically driving Hummers, Lexus mini-vansuvs, Cadillac Escalades or shiny brand new Corvettes. They are rarely seen in public without a sweater tied around their shoulders. BUT for the real test you should approach them with your best joke; if they laugh and nothing above their cheek bones move, they are indeed new recruits. New recruits may be classified as tourons for upwards of 12 years from the time of entry as deemed fit by their neighbors and passerbys.------------------------------------------¹Tour·on [tour-on]- noun1. a moron who[...]

Proud to be a naysayer. (Especially if it means I can afford a house in Bend someday.)

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 09:30:00 +0000

This is what $200,000 looks like in Bend, Oregon money.I read something that someone posted on a Bend blog, the quote went something like this… "They look to the Bulletin as an unbiased news source that actually interviews Realtors as real estate experts. That's like going to Bill Gates and asking for an unbiased opinion about software & what brand you should buy.” and forgive me for not knowing or remembering who posted this genius comment. Everyday I read something new posted by idiots, investors, realtors, the people with mortgage payments that exceed the value of their property and the poor saps such as myself waiting for that market to crash, crash, crash…so that I too can be a homeowner in the American Dream that is, Central Oregon.I’ll tell you something that will be a very good indicator about how educated I am on these topics. I went to college for Graphic Design. That was 10 years ago and I currently do not have any sort of degree to show for it. I live, for the most part, paycheck to paycheck…with minimal savings and checking accounts. In 3 years I will be the sole owner of a nice all-wheel drive vehicle that gets just under 30 mpg (and since I live in Bend I’m sure that it goes without saying that said car is indeed a Subaru Outback.) I have been a home renter for my entire adult life, which is getting more adult like every single day. (I know, I know Dad! I said too much...I could hear your voice in my head when I was typing this paragraph!)I have lived in Oregon since the age of 9, so I pretty much consider myself an “Oregonian”. I did not move here from California…but you can dock some points because I came from Arizona. (We all know that in California you can go two ways, you can go south if you're red and north if you're blue.) Now in all fairness, you have to add back some points because I stayed in Oregon after I became an adult instead of running back to where I came from. I have lived in Bend for a year. I moved here because I love Oregon and I hate the rain. I’m one of those non-Californians who loves Bend because it makes me smile…not because it made me an assload of money.I’ve been reading a lot of blogs about the real estate bubble over here in Bend. It’s easy to decipher the REAL agenda of each and every poster. It’s really easy to spot the folks who’re in debt to their eyeballs and then some. These are the same people who try to persuade us that the bubble burst already and the values are heading back up again. (I clearly missed seeing those rock bottom prices, but then again...I spend a lot of time doing things like working...which seems to be something that people in Bend don't really do a lot of these days.)Why? Because the Bulletin posts a story with their main source of information coming from the realtors of Bend? Anyone with half a brain knows the bottom line for the realtors of Bend. Anyone who is semi-comatose or better knows what sort of career you don’t want to be in right about now.If the real estate companies in Bend really wanted to get the facts straight with us, they would do what Assist 2 Sell does and publish their sold list as soon as they sold, that way we could really see, with our very own eyes what is selling and for how much. All the houses that are selling this March (an increase from what sold in February the Bulletin told us today) are they actual houses that sold…or are they houses taken off the market? Who wants to fess up and show us some proof? Because if Assist 2 Sell is NOT lying (and what reason would they have to do so)…not much is being sold in 2007.I went on their website, I took a look at what sold. Currently there are 74 houses for sale over at Assist 2 Sell. Now assuming that all 74 of these houses have been for sale for the duration of 2007 (which I have no way of knowing) it means that Assist 2 Sell has sold 9.7% of their inventory this year. That’s right folks, a whopping 8 houses have sold through Assist 2 Sell in 2007.But you want to hear the good news? Six[...]

What is up with schools nowadays?!

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 08:28:00 +0000

While doing research on the Jerunction Catty High School homepage for the name of a teacher I was trying to think of, I clicked on the "Departments" section of my alma mater.What a surprise. Here I am, at the ripe old age of 28...still feeling the pain of waking up at 6am, riding the bus, chocolate cake monster cookies with powdered sugar on top, the "green machine" and Mr. Duerr like they all happened yesterday. The suffering of each day, somehow passing slower and slower except on snow days and vacations. The endless hours spent daydreaming in Mrs. Peterson's Honors 11 English class about the way I would decorate my very first apartment, as soon as I was released from this horrible nightmare.Suddenly, in one frightening moment of this hysterically sad and profound flashback, I realized that something wasn't quite right about this webpage.Did I accidentally stumble somehow into a portal of OSU's department section?These pampered little school children nowadays are way too savvy for simple reading, writing and arithmetic classes. As if mini-MINI skirts (compared to official mini skirts of the 60's these babies nowadays should be renamed "nonexistent skirts"), $220 designer jeans, ipods, cell phones, energy drinks and plastic surgery aren't big enough typical accessories to our age 13-18 year olds these days they've got COLLEGE TYPE CLASSES TOO!Now I am really starting to get pissed.When I was in high school you were considered cool if you had socks that matched your shirt, Nike shoes for P.E, a new backpack EVERY year and you brought a bagged lunch with pudding snacks or other pre-packaged items. If you had a beeper…you were a drug dealer or a prostitute. No one would talk to you because you were one of the "bad kids". If you wore a tight-ass dress to school and anything that closely resembled skin was hanging anywhere out of that dress you were called a "whore" and most likely people in the cafeteria threw food at you when you walked by. We drove to school in beat down cars bought at the auction, that we were LUCKY to get when we became juniors. They were usually a minimum of 2 colors and sometimes contained pieces from half a dozen different cars that your dad rummaged through down at the demo yard. If you had a tape player…you were the one who drove to Valley River Center after school with a car full of "friends". When you backed into a bush, it cost one can of bondo...not $14,000 like it does nowadays because your spoiled little brat had to have a brand new H3 Hummer.Nowadays the little childrens are seriously too good for all of this. We've got to make them feel like pre-adults. They need to feel like the world they are living in most closely resembles the "real-life". What is with these damn adults these days?! They sound like a big bunch of freekin' a-holes. And dumb a-holes at that. I want to take them, shake them and smack them in the face.Let us start with Agriculture. "Farm Business Management" specifically. Wow. That's a pretty amazing thing there. But in Jerunction Catty I think it might be a little redundant since anyone and everyone who takes that class already comes from one of the 2 dozen farming families that basically settled the town of Jerunction Catty. You've got a great "in" already on the whole Farm Management thing. My guess is your pampered little, racist, silver spooned hands have been managing border jumpers picking beans on your families property since you could walk. If that's not a life lesson in Farm Management, this class is not going to help out in the least. I don't think there is anything you can learn in this class that your daddy or the show "Dallas" hasn't already taught you.Which moves me to Business. When I was in high school we had one business class. And I can tell you there was not a single student who I went to school with who knew that business class was about business oriented things. We thought it was about who could make Mrs. Prevics cry first. I can't remember a single thing I learned in[...]