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Updated: 2015-09-21T06:55:39.469-06:00

 



The trick is to marry and live with a husband whos...

2007-08-02T20:23:00.000-06:00

The trick is to marry and live with a husband whose professional, social and intellectual goals are compatible with yours. Family--with or without children (until a couple tries, their fertility is TBA)-- will be a commonality but marriage is stronger when compatibilities are fluent. That means both partners give like crazy to each other. What do you have to offer him? If he's just off a mission and likely at a beginning point of career selection and prep, he needs space and time to make good choices for himself, for his own life satisfaction. So it's GREAT that at this point he's hearing exactly what you value in your work. If he's serious about compatibility, he'll genuinely try. Be careful to not push. Should flow...



You really CAN do it, Kate. I've got the same dile...

2007-07-31T09:57:00.000-06:00

You really CAN do it, Kate. I've got the same dilemma. Part of me really wants to just sit and be a stay-at-home mom... but another part of me thinks that there is so much that I COULD do with myself. So... I'm applying to grad school in a few months. I threw out medicine because of the ridiculous time and money commitment (who knows if I'll change my mind) but I'm gonna give it a try and hope Adam doesn't flip when we finally pop out a kid. Uhhh... yeah this was supposed to be a comment for YOU. So... you can do it, woman... and the person who posted before me is right... marry someone great, and it will be definitely possible.



I hope you don't mind a long comment from a lurker...

2007-07-31T08:56:00.000-06:00

I hope you don't mind a long comment from a lurker (I loved your Jordan blog), but I was you 10 years ago. I'm a Mormon who had just come back to Orem from from my second stint in the Middle East and few people understood why I loved Arabic and the Middle East (this was before 9/11, so people's reactions weren't anywhere near as bad as they are now). Almost no one thought this was a reasonable course to pursue. "Why do you need Arabic? How will that help you be a good mother?" Why did everyone assume that was all I wanted to do?

Things have worked out for me better than I imagined, but much differently since our focus has shifted slightly to Central Asia. I don't have a paying career working with Arabic, but Islam and the Middle East and now Central Asia are a huge part of my life and they wouldn't be without that original foundation in Arabic. I still plan to have a paying career with Islam, but for now it's a volunteer one while I study and travel to Central Asia with my husband and children and it works for me.

I hope things work out for you. It's definitely possible. One more thing- the person you marry will make one of the biggest differences. My friends (women) who studied Arabic with me have all stayed with it as long as we didn't marry someone totally uninterested in the Middle East when they were in their early 20s.