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Up and Running

Because I want to do it all

Updated: 2018-03-02T08:58:52.585-08:00


Here we go again!


I don't want to jinx it but I think I'm starting to like exercise!  I've been showing up to random group exercise classes at the Y.  I'm not running much at all, can't seem to get any steam behind it.



I was so restless yesterday after work.  I think I was edgy because I didn't have my regular day off plus I worked half a day on Saturday .  I'm only just experimenting with working out after work.  Ironically I wanted to but I also had other stuff to do...stuff that didn't get done around the house because I went to work on my day off.    So I walked at lunch and walked the dog when I got home.  I was irritable though,  got a few chores done and tried to get to sleep early.  Still, I was so restless, I woke up around 2am had coffe and peanut butter toast and hit the treadmill for 45 mins...mostly running.   I now have about a half hour before I need to leave for work.

So my workout is done but am I gonna bonk by midday?

Addendum:  I did start to lag after lunch but felt fine for most of the day.  I love getting the workout done.

Fairy Dust, Rainbows and Bobble Heads


My daughter Miranda is 18 and is showing  interest in starting to run, so far she's mentioned a Tinker Bell race at Disneyland and a color run coming up near us in February.  We've done a couple of 5ks together before....the last one was a Giants Great Race, the motivation being a Matt Cain bobble head.
I am very motivated to support her interest in running, I just need to walk the walk (literally!) and not cram training plans down her throat.  She's not really interested in learning all there is to know about running, she just wants cool swag.  Whatever it takes right?  If I play my cards right we could actually have fun and get in shape together.

Golden Hills Trail Marathon 2007


This was 7 years ago.  I was on the cusp of crossing over into ultra running status and then for no obvious reason I just quit .  Looking back at old blog post has been enlightening.   I'm still not sure why the wheels feel off after the race, I never ran with enthusiasm after the trail marathon.   It was a good day but if I am honest I was relieved not to be slave to the training schedule.  You hear it all the time " don't be slave to the schedule, figure out what works for you".   I thought I did .  I built this race up so much in my mind that by the time I crossed the finish line....anti-climatic as that was ...not much fanfare at trail races but no family or friends could be there, and my race report was barely noticed , I think I was doing the race just as much for external recognition and when it didn't come I didn't have enough internal motivation to continue.

Big Island 2010




Yay!  I got back into my old blog.   Started a few others but this is where I first started running and blogging.  It's been awhile since I've done much of either.  Trying to run after work blows at the moment but it will get better, just need to keep at it.

zen runner


and while running is never effortless i have been revisiting an old copy of chi of running and  trying a couple things out.  my knee still bothers me and i probably can attribute it to being heavier vs my shoes.  meeting up with kate this morning for an easy 3 mile trail run .

Running for Me


It's been quiet around here for awhile.  I had to get a grip and figure out a few ongoing process  for sure.  the one thing i know is that there is an inner athlete in me but true to form the conventional path is always a rocky one for me.  Running for the sake of running hardly seems blogworthy....but i'm figuring out that i don't need to be training for a race or building my mileage or working on my freestyle to feel good about exercising.  i tend to be high strung and with a stressful job i need some form of activity to blow off steam...the last few months i've been running just to unwind and it's ok.



meeting up with Monica this morning for a swim in a new place...Keller beach in leg s are sore in a good way, the knee felt fine during last night's trail run, only the slightest bit of pain after. swimming today will help.  Monica did the pac grove sprint on sunday so i'm  looking forward to catching up with her today. 
M seems to be liking high school and her attitude is back, a good sign that she's not depressed over the boy so much. when it comes to parenting and the big important stuff, i do quite well.  but i really fall short with the day to day snarky teenage attitude and i'm NOT feeling so momtastic lately. there's a teeny tiny chance of camping next week...i requested time off and i won't find out about the time off until the last minute....i really need some girlfriend time with no kids!

pain management


during my run around ceasar chavez park the pain on the lateral aspect of my knee shifted towards the patella.  about a 5:10 on the pain scale, noticeable but tolerable. within a mile or so it was more a 3:10 and after the first loop around the park, the pain was barely noticeable and i felt good enough for a second loop before doubling back.  i bought new montrails...there so awesome, the trend in running shoes appears to be lighter and for trail shoes these are rugged but not nearly as bulky as my last pair.  after the second loop the pain started to ramp up to 6-7.  i made myself continue running until i got back on the paved part of the trail and i mostly walked the last mile or so home, i should of taken shorter walk periods because after walking for a while running again was too uncomfortable...weird. . i'm icing, self-massaging with tiger balm and taking ibuprofen. 

smarter not harder


i've been in taper mode for about a month.  running here and there.  i'm not even going to comment on the lack of swimming or riding.  i'm struggling with a couple of bull shit injuries neither of which have been dibiitating just annoying and putting a damper on comfortable movement. i canceled the last swim lesson w/morgan and had her give me a massage instead after i hurt my back.  overall, my experience with her coaching was awkward.  i think i was in my head too much.

i'm burned out and giving half-assed effort all across the board. i've decided to drop the tri next month and focus on taking better care of my back and get a handle on over-eating and food choices. a family reunion and too many potlucks at work, need i say more?   training for a tri would seem consistent with the aforementioned goals but honestly i don't want to commit to the swimming.  i like swimming i just don't like having to work so hard at it. it's just not how i want to spend my time.  i like to run after work now, it's a great way to unwind and it's so convenient and i'm just going to admit i need convenience right now.





eat drink and be regular


i will make time to hydrate today
i will spin and or do yoga today
i will make time to hydrate today
i will include veggies along the way

session #1 with Morgan Filler


as i sat on the beach waiting for Morgan to arrive i stared out onto the lake watching the mist hover just above.  the sun sparkled on the water and the morning was idyllic. despite the serene surroundings i was a bit tense.  i was nervous about not being a good enough swimmer to merit coaching.  is that not the dumbest thing ever? 
she arrived with her surf board...and i made a note to myself to ask her about SUP (stand up paddling) at a later time.  today was about the task at hand and was going to require all my concentration.  we didn't waste anytime and she led me outside the ropes..that was a first for me. she had me swim a bit first offered feedback and then the lesson began.  i mostly worked on catch, pull and rotation.
about halfway through the session i started to get dizzy and nauseous. and
let me emphasize, i'm swimming in frikin lake placid...the only sign of activity are the ripples on the waters surface generated by the ducks on shore and myself.  the same thing happened last night during my run, at the time i chalked it up to not enough time between my last meal and the run.  it got progressively worse and at one point i had to get back on shore, just as i crawled my way to the trail, to discreetly wretch my guts out... some guy and his dog show up and want to talk.  i sort've fumbled through the chit chat, took a few deep breaths and swam back out to Morgan who was sat patiently on her board waiting for me. 
we had about five minutes left and i zagged my way back to the beach.  she said she'd video tape me on next session....i was taped once before towards the end of training last year and found it to be really helpful but i only got to view it once...she'll email it to me which should prove to even more so.  i haven't had alot of experience with 1:1 coaching and what little i have had has been uncomfortable...Morgan said it well " feels weird with the all the focus on you? i agreed.
so it wasn't the best first session (no reflection on Morgan at all) she was very nice and i felt safe with her. as for the nausea and dizziness, i foolishly still tend to under hydrate. such an easy fix but just as easily overlooked.  i got quite a few tips despite the gloomy sounding post.  one thing i have going for me is i roll really well.  i need to glide on my side longer and time the switch better. 

It's the Journey


i haven't done much speed work in the past...certainly not enough to notice a difference in my running.  today at the gym i warmed up with a 12 minute mile, stopped to stretch a little then ran 3 miles at a 10:00 minute pace and it felt EASY!  maybe there's something to speed work after all.  i swam 500 yards right after and while swimming never feels easy i can feel my endurance starting to return. 

in the past i've usually followed up whatever pace or distance i've completed ..with the words  ''far for me'', or ''fast for me.''  perhaps a 10 minute mile isn't fast by most standards but that 3 of 'em in a row felt easy well that's just fucken awesome in my book.  

i felt really good during and after todays workout.  for the first time since starting to train this year i've noticed some progress and i'm starting to enjoy the ride.

early bird gets the worm


i got an extra early start today and swam at King pool this morning. got lucky with great parking and was able to split a lane the whole time which allowed me to go at my own pace and work on a few things without the stress of circle swimming.

i've been resting on mondays and fridays but since i blew off yesterday's run (instead i cooked and we sat down and ate together) i'll be working out 5 days in a row...which should be interesting.  i'm half tempted to blow off the Y group's ride/run brick on saturday and do my own thing.  most everyone i've met is nice and all i'm just slow and more than a bit self-conscious about it. the main reason i signed up was for the group swim practices...which are humiliating enough.

M took moi out to lunch today.  we did some back to school shopping over the weekend and her room is starting to come together. we have orientation next week and then back to school on the 1st..  i've been enjoying our time together a lot but i'm looking forward to the school year starting and her getting a good start on her new routine.

need 4 speed


so here's my speed work plan for today

easy 1mile jog to the track, stretch when i get there.

1/2 mile x's 5 w 1/4 mile recovery in between ea. 1/2 mile

easy 1 mile jog home

not sure what my pace will be....8:30?  (in my dreams)

what really happened

i did the above workout...except i have no data to indicate my speed...apparently i still haven't figured out the garmin settings, i thought i set it up for intervals...but according to it i ran 3:52 at an 11:26 pace.

perceived rate of exertion:  like i started out too fast and got progressively slower.

i know i benefited from this workout despite the hard data to tell me exactly how.  it was really hard and while i knew i wasn't going all that fast i was pushing myself, i was definitely out of my comfort zone. my thoughts were on the negative side, "your slow, this sucks, just stop, but i kept going.

i think a big part of endurance training is exposing your limits and weaknesses.  i wish i could say that my determination improved with every interval but the conversation in my head was all: "i wanna stop, "no, you can't" "why?" because you can't", "i'm not running fast at all, this blows, i wanna stop", "quit bitchin, almost done, walk slower during recovery, but move your ass now!"

i don't think my body got tricked into thinking it could run fast, in fact i'm pretty sure i just irritated it.  

my eating and sleeping habits aren't conducive to good workouts.  i need to swim 3x's a week not 2 and i need to ride more, but this season i want to kick that 10ks ass!

yesterday's Y-club workout at coyote point was ok.  i swam 1/2 a mile in 20 minutes and rode just under 8 miles...again the garmin settings were off.  honestly, technology can be more of a distraction than anything else.
morgan emailed me late yesterday and it looks like we're  meeting up at lake anza next sunday for our first session together, she also mentioned a group swim she's holding wed pm at berkeley marina ...not sure i'll make that one.

better choice


instead of going to the solano stroll kick-off party i went swimming after work. T and M are very involved with this every not so much...chit chatting with dozens of people and pigging-out on copious amounts of free food...just wasn't what i wanted or needed to do. 

the lanes were packed and it took a bit of lane hopping before i actually got down to the business of swimming.  once i settled into a lane i just focused on my breathing and bilateral skills.  i have no idea how far i swam but i was in the pool 40 minutes.

i'm all stuffed up now and my hair will takes hours to air dry, blow dry and flat iron....course frizzy hair that i must beat into submission every time i get it wet....another reason to not love swimming.



the drab weather wasn't helping my already lazy mood.  instead of working out first i got a bunch of errands done and pondered what i was going to do in the way training today. i wasn't in the mood to ride or run long so i opted to ride for 40 and run for 40.  a good compromise and probably in the long run a better workout.

yesterday's run didn't happen for a variety of reasons.  despite having my running garb to change into after work, i was tired and instead of running from the path right near work i opted to drive to the park shortening the run by 2 miles....instead i was met with a big fat detour (seems like road work is going on everywhere).

i was dressed and decide to run somewhere closer to home first mistake. 
going into the house first was a bad idea.   while i've been a very good human mom if you were to ask my "other child", she'd pretty much roll me under the bus and tell you i suck.  brandy is my dog,  i'm the main caregiver and i've been slacking on her walks, so instead of running i took her for a walk/run.  she's not a good running buddy kind of dog...she's super nosey and selectively obedient on or off leash...runs with her typically go something like ..."come onnnnnnnnn, let's goooooooooo.  brandy noooo,  get back here right now!  so given my lack of agenda or motivation i walked her for 10 or so minutes tiring her out a little and then i tried an easy jog which she responded well to. 

my upper back is bothering me.  my job is quite physical.  i'm on my feet 80% of the time.  i see upwards of 13 patients a day in 30 minute increments and sometimes good body mechanics is compromised for the sake of productivity.  exercise helps for obvious reasons but massage would be really nice too.  i blew my budget on private swim lessons this month so i'll have to suck it up a bit longer.

1st Brick in a really long time


we're meeting up today at Lake Temescal for a ride/run brick.  i've been vowing to do more of these this time around but i haven't as of yet.  i rested yesterday so hopefully the legs will do their job.

it's another cool gray morning and the ground is wet.  the last couple of mornings it's been drizzling during the drive to work then it gets hot and sunny later...i swear mother nature is going through menopause.

the first ride/run brick since last year...oh, this is going to be painful.

what really happened

secondary to drama which is typical of me whenever i'm trying to get out the door in a hurry, sometime between last night and this morning i misplaced my ATM card.  rushing around tearing through the house...which in it's current state is A WRECK in part due to the fact that the entire contents of M's room is sitting in the dining room while it gets painted.

with less than twenty minutes to get to the workout i finally gave up looking and flew out the door. i got about a mile or so down the road when i realized i forgot my yellow riding was cold, foggy and damp out and  visibility was foremost on my mind. not to mention wondering what hell happened to my ATM card.  

i turned around went home.  the ATM card is due to expire soon anyways and so i went to the bank and dealt with that bullshit drove home and informed my family that i would be doing my own brick.

i rode for 40 minutes and ran for 15.  i rode out to the berkeley marina, flat and windy.  when i pulled up to my house i used the porch as my transition area and stripped my long riding pants (i had capris underneath) and riding shoes changed into my running shoes quickly...T was off to the side cheering "go baby go"  i ran around the neighborhood and i was a little surprised that the transition didn't hurt as bad as i expected. i've been running on tired legs all week so i'm chalking it up to that.  the actual stats are on my daily mile widget.  including the transition the whole thing took a little over an hour and i'm not ashamed to admit it was probably the right brick for me today...the club workout was no doubt a lot harder. 

Doing the best I can


feeling a little worn out.

M was helpful at the pool yesterday and kept track of laps for me.  she's been sticking close to home and at my side whenever i'm not at work or trying to train.    she's going to a friends tonight for a sleepover..her first outing since the horrible incident so i'm freed up a little more after work.  she's always been a little annoyed at the amount of time i spend "training"...which pales in comparison to real triathletes.  a part of her is a little proud of me too.  it's weird tension at times.  i can't give either 100%

To the douche bag that broke my daughter's heart


i want to thank you for the tactless way you let my sweet daughter down.
i want thank you for chipping away at her innocence.
i want to thank you for the harsh lesson that all is not as it appears.
i want to thank you for causing self doubt and for the head games.
i want to thank you for opening the door to deeper conversations about love and loss.
i want to thank you for the opportunity to see my child in a new light.
i want to thank you for rejecting her because despite her pain she's learning that she's quite strong.
i want to thank you for the opportunity that has presented itself to reassure and love and guide this amazing girl.


Trail Mojo


the legs are still a bit stiff from sunday's shenanigan's and the weather was warmer than i would've preferred especially since i forgot my hat and shades. my garmin was acting weird and didn't pick up a location until a mile into the run. 

today was hot and i felt overheated and irritable. you have some exposed areas and abit of climbing to do before your rewarded with the lush canopy and single track.  my mood immediately lifted as the shade started cooling my core down and there i was winding my way through manzanita, oaks and redwoods.  i crossed bridges and climbed 60 plus steps. i saw lots of lizards and heard an owl off in the distance. 

i didn't have a map but i had an idea of where i was going having talked to a few others who'd run here before.  i just sort've followed my instincts.  there was plenty of daylight and i could double back if necessary...but my sense of direction on the trail held true and before i knew it i was back on the main trail.

this was a fantastic run.  i didn't feel as strong or as comfortable as i would've on fresher legs but i've always preferred trails over roads for running and i think maybe i might be getting my trail mojo back.  



Do gut-wrenching dry heaves count as core strengthening?

OK, I'm exaggerating a bit but I was on the verge of puking a few times.  I ended up at the Albany Middle School track this morning.  My mission was to sprint the straights and walk the curves 8x's.  I haven't figured out how to capture intervals on the Garmin so that's something else to throw on the need to learn pile.

I started out on the BART trail trying to re-set the Garmin, running and stopping and running then stopping occurred to me " hey, this is a little like Fartlek"..such an absurd word, seriously..... I then came upon the track and decided to do the above workout.

I practiced running on the front and mid sole versus the heel and could tell i was moving faster, a couple of time I was paced at 6:30 ...perceived rate of exertion: oh. my. god. I'm gonna hurl.  After wards,  my legs were toast and I stretched for awhile before leaving.  I dragged my sorry ass across the field and the basketball courts and hobbled across the street to start jogging home...a minute into the "run" i knew I'd be walking home.  Note to self: drive to the track next time.

Truth be told yesterday's shitty swim was my motivation for  track today.  As hard as speed work is I have a clear advantage on land.  I'd like to work closer with Coach Nancy (she was down a coach yesterday and had to stay on the beach watching us) regarding the swim, she gave me some good tips yesterday and I just need to relax more and not compare myself to others so much.

I heard about an open water swim coach through Forging Ahead.  I contacted her yesterday about private lessons and she emailed me today. So stay tuned for a more positive swim posts in the not too too distant future as I figure out our schedule.

Coyote Point


met up w/the Y Tri Club this morning for  a swim...most swam a mile in like 30 mins ...i swam half as far in approximately the same time...but i'm not bitter...just tired.

i brought my bike and explored the SF Bay Trail...very flat and scenic with strong headwinds on the return...i burned crazy calories...according to the Garmin...and my appetite when i got back...glad i packed a big lunch.  so it was great day for training...despite my miserable swim...i met some nice people and had a great ride .  unfortunately my families  return flight today didn't correlate with my training so i'll have to drive back out there in a few hours.

It's a Balancing Act


Drama camp potlucks, bake sales for Haiti, performances, laundry and packing for an upcoming trip has this mom in full lock down.  i wanted to get a some kind ride in yesterday...but i needed to replace that adaptor thingy for the Co2 cartridges and my  sun glasses were all scratched. T still had some credit over at Mikes Bikes, so i changed to ride and threw my bike into the back of his truck and after i got my stuff i still wasn't sure where i was going to ride because M needed to be at Bentley by 1pm (it was already noon) and the performance didn't start till 2:30...i just couldn't think straight... it was T that said,  "you've 2.5 hrs to get to Lafayette, are up for it?"  Duh, i could just ride to the performance and so what if i showed up in bike shorts and smelled bad.  i am in training after all, right? T would drop M off and get some errands done in Lafayette before the show...for  all my complaining about his lack of planning my man can think on his feet!

Mike's is close to the base of Spruce, a longish gradual climb to Grizzly Peak.  from there I entered Tilden past Inspiration Point and then had a BLAST on the fast downhill to Orinda. i practiced not riding my breaks so hard  and reacquainted myself with what gear does what...i practiced going into a high gear to go even faster downhill.  i stopped for a little frozen yogurt then headed over Santa Rita....i'd forgotten how steep this part was and after the first climb i managed to clip out w/o breaking my neck and hoofed it to the top. the rest was downhill to Bentley. I arrived at 2pm.

M went out with friends later that night and T and i discovered a yummy indian buffet..7.99 per person.  the chicken tikka was off the hook, spicey potatoes and bell peppers and naan, deeelish!
the ben and jerry banana split we shared later kinda kick the frozen yogurts ass.