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jim hancock



is this who we are?



Updated: 2018-01-16T10:20:09.916-08:00

 



Rage | A New Crisis HelpSheet for Youth Workers

2018-01-16T10:20:10.126-08:00

Rage | A New Crisis HelpSheet for Youth WorkersKids don’t usually get in trouble for being angry, frustrated, or afraid. Kids get in trouble when they break people’s stuff.They get in trouble for making public threats.They get in trouble when they hurt people, animals, and themselves.Kids get in trouble when they rage.Rage is uncontrolled fury, expressed in lashing out, violence, destruction, or self-harm. A new one-page Crisis HelpSheet for Youth Workers can help you figure out what to do when a kid rages. It’s part of a collection from Jim Hancock + thetinycompanycalledme.com that includes free and low-cost Crisis HelpSheets on...Asking Good QuestionsBullyingConfidentialityCutting + Self-HarmHazingRageReferral | Getting Professional HelpReporting Abuse + NeglectSexual Abuse VictimsSuicide + Homicide ThreatsTraumatic Events….with more in the pipeline, coming soon.Crisis HelpSheets for Youth Workers aren’t everything — they’re not, for example, legal or medical advice, or counseling manuals. What they are, is an answer to the question, "What do I say to the parent who's bringing her kid to talk with me this afternoon about bullying, self-harm, sexual abuse, suicide…."Rage is the newest Crisis HelpSheet for Youth Workers. Drop by thetinycompanycalledme and pick up your copy — or send a youth worker friend who could use some help figuring out what to do when people are in a tough spot.Thanks,Jim HancockPS: Stay tuned for more Crisis HelpSheets in the months ahead.... Download Crisis HelpSheets for Youth WorkersWould you like to know when new Crisis HelpSheets are released?[...]



Free on January 9th + 10th | Crisis HelpSheets for Youth Workers

2018-01-09T09:19:42.096-08:00

Free for Two Days: Crisis HelpSheets for Youth WorkersI’ve been giving away a bit of free stuff, because I can … + because my problem is not piracy, my problem is obscurity (h/t Cory Doctorow).The Free stuff on January 9th + 10th, 2018 is a selection of Crisis HelpSheets for Youth Workers.A dozen years ago, Rich Van Pelt + I literally wrote the book on youth workers helping teenagers in crisis. It's called  The Youth Worker’s Guide to Helping Teenagers in Crisis. It’s still available at Amazon + Zondervan.What’s been missing is quick reference guides — one-pagers — on what to do when a teenager has been sexually abused … or bullied … or hazed … or neglected … or….So, reflecting new experiences + ongoing research in crisis response, I’m rolling out a line of Crisis HelpSheets for Youth Workers at thetinycompanycalledme.com.So far, there are 10 Crisis HelpSheets.1. Asking Good Questions2. Bullying3. Confidentiality4. Cutting + Self-Harm5. Hazing6. Sexual Abuse7. Referral | Getting Professional Help8. Reporting Abuse + Neglect9. Suicide + Homicide Threat10. Traumatic EventsLook for more in the pipeline in the months ahead.For the record: Crisis HelpSheets for Youth Workers offer good-faith practices based on four decades of engagement with youth workers, teenagers + families in crisis — plus a lot of work to stay current on the research. I don’t offer medical or legal advice — I am not licensed in either field.JAN. 9th + 10th, 2018, VISIT thetinycompanycalledme.com TO DOWNLOAD FREE CRISIS HELPSHEETSFeel free to invite your friends in youth work to help themselves, too.PS: Stay tuned for more Crisis HelpSheets in the months ahead.... Download free Crisis HelpSheets for Youth WorkersWould you like to know when new Crisis HelpSheets are released?[...]



Free for One Day | Under the Moon + Stars [feat. Mark Yaconelli] | Jan 05, 2018

2018-01-05T07:04:41.314-08:00

Free for One Day: Under the Moon + Stars [feat. Mark Yaconelli]I'm giving away a some free stuff this week, because I can … and because my problem is not piracy, my problem is obscurity (h/t Cory Doctorow).The Free stuff on January 05, 2018 is a copy of Under the Moon + Stars [feat. Mark Yaconelli].Mark Yaconelli is one of the best storytellers I know.Under the Moon + Stars is a story Mark told one afternoon while we were talking about the sort of people who help other people grow up. If the wind is favorable, that help comes when we’re kids. If not, it comes later, when our paths cross with people like Mark. This little movie is about listening to people, and encouraging folks to listen to their own lives for clues about where they might go in light of where they’ve been.If you’re a teacher, a preacher, a youth worker, or a parent, you can use this short film to illustrate a talk or lessonstart a conversation in a small groupengage the group that gathers around your kitchen table.January 05, 2018, come on over to thetinycompanycalledme.com and download your own copy of Under the Moon + Stars [feat. Mark Yaconelli]. Feel free to invite your neighbors, friends + other loved ones.Happy New Year, Jim Hancock PS: January 06, the price reverts to $5.99.PPS: Stay tuned for a little more free stuff soon.... [...]



Free for One Day | 10 Things We Should Never Say to Kids | January 02, 2018

2018-01-01T14:51:31.203-08:00

I'm giving away a some free stuff this week, because I can … and because my problem is not piracy, my problem is obscurity (h/t Cory Doctorow).The Free stuff on January 02, 2018 is a copy of 10 Things We Should Never Say to Kids.Here are the 10 Things We Should Never Say to Kids:1. Do You Have Your Jacket-Homework-Gym-Bag-Back-Pack-Ticket-Keys?2. What Were You Thinking!3. Because I Said So.4. You Are Such a Pretty Little Thing.5. I’m Proud of You!6. You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To.7. Let Me Tell You What Happened Here.8. That’s Not How You Do It!9. Don’t Make Me Turn This Car Around.10. I Give Up.Are these the absolute worst things we can say to a child? Of course not. What qualifies these 10 things for my list is:1st — kids hear these things all the time 2nd — these things drive kids a little nuts, even if they don’t know itFinally — these things sound plausible (+ kids don’t know better) This little book is about not saying those 10 things — and what to say insteadJanuary 02, 2018, come on over and download your own copy of 10 Things We Should Never Say to Kids. January 03, the price reverts to $5.99.Feel free to invite your neighbors, friends + other loved ones to grab a free copy. Shake things up this year … start a book club … shock your children…. Happy New Year. [...]



CHRISTIANITY UNMOORED

2017-11-19T10:36:51.390-08:00




No one is safe when men think + behave this way

2017-11-10T17:06:42.415-08:00

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A 32-year-old officer of the court is said to have taken a 14-year-old to a cabin, removed his pants, groped her, pressed her hand to his erect penis. Elected official says, “There’s just nothing immoral or illegal here ... Maybe just a little bit unusual” That’s an argument from privilege. 

Transparently stupid but serious as a heart attack — and what right-thinking women and men must reject and correct in government, business, entertainment, sports, law enforcement, military, education, family, and religion.

No one is safe as long as men with power think, behave, and cover for each other this way.



Falling Down a Hole with Donald Trump

2017-10-29T22:26:15.131-07:00

Bill Bennett, speaking of Donald Trump at the 2017 Values Voter Summit: "We are conscious of his history. We are conscious of his future. And as Oscar Wilde said, 'Just as every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.’ "


— quoted by Jessica Taylor, NPR, "After 'Choosing Donald Trump,' Is The Evangelical Church In Crisis?” [h/t Stephen Bowlby]

This is Bizzaro World. 

Bill Bennett quoting Oscar Wilde to justify the misbehavior of Donald Trump to a crowd of Evangelicals convened by Tony Perkins…. 

Can you imagine Mr. Bennett mounting a similar defense of Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama — or even semi-pro Sunday School teacher, Jimmy Carter? 


[Alice image courtesy of Teufelbeutel CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0), via Wikimedia Commons]



#Ovaries | Standing Up

2017-10-25T14:53:50.693-07:00



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As we give credit to Republican Senators Bob Corker, Jeff Flake, and John McCain — each of whom, I believe, deserves full credit — let’s first take a moment to credit Republican Senators Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski, who already showed they have the ovaries to stand against this president when that’s what it takes to stand up for people of this nation. Thank you all, Senators. May your tribe increase.






The 501(C)(3) of Christ | Hack the Ministry

2017-09-22T11:13:17.887-07:00

A friend tells me he is intrigued by Hack the Ministry and the conversations around it. I reply: I’m intrigued too. With no disrespect to my friends with jobs provided by some instance of the church, I, and a growing number of friends and acquaintances scattered over the earth, are finding greater success connecting with “Nones” now that we think of ourselves as some version of “Dones”.  It doesn’t take much sociological or spiritual imagination to see that — in many places — the way we’ve been doing church is ending (or at the very least trending) badly and has been for a long time. I saw it when I still took my paycheck from a church. I think most people do; and this is the drive behind some brilliant innovation and passionate outreach and service generated by church leaders. It’s also what drives programs that looked much better on paper than in practice. As outreaching and open as I was — you can ask anyone  = - )  — I had to give up my church business card before I began to grasp this. On reflection, this should be no surprise. As Sinclair Lewis used to say, "It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it”.  Years later, when I became available to friends and neighbors on Sunday mornings, I found they became available to me pretty much any time. It’s as if my getting a car and “going to church” was a barrier to entry for engagement with some of the most spiritually open-and-interested people in my community — not to mention some of my most religiously suspicious, damaged, and abused friends and neighbors. The absence any power differential makes every conversation straight across. My surrender of religious authority made way for a sober assessment of spiritual authenticity. The stories I tell about my life, alongside my daily spiritual practices, stand or fall on their own… they ring true, or not… stories and practices reinforce each other, or they don’t. Clearly, I’m not alone in this. And without suggesting that anyone should stop going to church, or leave their job in the church, or disavow church; I do mean to be clear that there is a life of engaged Christian practice outside the norms and structures of the 501(C)(3) of Christ. All this is wrapped up, for me, in this conversation about hacking the ministry. And I find myself feeling real anticipation about what others bring to the table — to correct, affirm, recalibrate, or help me reimagine what I’ve been thinking and doing.Wherever you are on the continuum, If you’re intrigued too, I hope you’ll take the day to be with us in Seattle for Hack the Ministry — it’s Thursday, October 12, 2017 — we’ll gather from 10 am to 10 pm at Ballard Homestead — tickets are $49 — or you can bring two friends, at a total cost of $99 for the three of you — lunch and dinner are included— out-of-towners seem to be leaning toward Hampton Inn and Suites, Northgate[...]



Selective Outrage | Selective Grace

2017-09-22T08:43:13.941-07:00


I keep wondering what churches would be like if they were as gracious - and patient - with everyone as they are with the greedy.



Peers | Mentors | Sages | Hacking the Ministry

2017-09-13T10:00:54.997-07:00

Peers, Mentors + Sages — both inside + outside the orbit of organized churchgoing — people who have decided not to fear each other + not to hold each other in contempt, are gathering for a deep conversation about pioneers + mapmakers who are showing us how to hack the ministry to serve the world as it is + as it is becoming. 
HacktheMinistry.com | October 12 | Seattle | 10am - 10pm

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Hack the Ministry | 10.12.17 | Seattle

2017-09-11T09:38:14.517-07:00

A one-day gathering for people who identify with Jesus + aren’t so sure about the future of churchgoing.





Dear Mr. President | The message Barack Obama left in the Oval Office for Donald Trump

2017-09-04T08:45:40.562-07:00

There’s a tradition of outgoing US presidents leaving handwritten notes to their successors on Inauguration Day. CNN obtained a copy of the letter from Barack Obama to Donald Trump — one imagines a mobile phone pic — from someone to whom Mr. Trump showed it. It is, I think, quite remarkable, compared with notes left by George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and George W. Bush.Dear Mr. President - Congratulations on a remarkable run. Millions have placed their hopes in you, and allof us, regardless of party, should hope for expanded prosperity and security during your tenure.This is a unique office, without a clear blueprint for success, so I don't know that any advice from me will be particularly helpful. Still, let me offer a few reflections from the past 8 years.First, we've both been blessed, in different ways, with great good fortune. Not everyone is so lucky. It's up to us to do everything we can (to) build more ladders of success for every child and family that's willing to work hard.Second, American leadership in this world really is indispensable. It's up to us, through action and example, to sustain the international order that's expanded steadily since the end of the Cold War, and upon which our own wealth and safety depend.Third, we are just temporary occupants of this office. That makes us guardians of those democratic institutions and traditions -- like rule of law, separation of powers, equal protection and civil liberties -- that our forebears fought and bled for. Regardless of the push and pull of daily politics, it's up to us to leave those instruments of our democracy at least as strong as we found them.And finally, take time, in the rush of events and responsibilities, for friends and family. They'll get you through the inevitable rough patches.Michelle and I wish you and Melania the very best as you embark on this great adventure, and know that we stand ready to help in any ways which we can.Good luck and Godspeed,BO[...]



What he said — Jesus + The Nashville Statement

2017-08-31T20:30:13.304-07:00

Father James Martin — Jesuit priest, editor at large for America Magazine, author of Jesus: A Pilgrimage and Building a Bridge,  consultor to the Vatican Secretariat for Communication​, and former chaplain to the Colbert Nation — responded to The Nashville Statement - so-called because it was ratified in the city. The Nashville Statement centers on 14 affirmations and denials; Martin repeated the pattern in a series of seven tweets, recreated here.James Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 Re #NashvilleStatement: I affirm: That God loves all LGBT people. I deny: That Jesus wants us to insult, judge or further marginalize them.James Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 I affirm: That all of us are in need of conversion. I deny: That LGBT people should be in any way singled out as the chief or only sinnersJames Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 I affirm: That when Jesus encountered people on the margins he led with welcome not condemnation. I deny: That Jesus wants any more judging.James Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 I affirm: That LGBT people are, by virtue of baptism, full members of the church. I deny: That God wants them to feel that they don't belongJames Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 I affirm: That LGBT people have been made to feel like dirt by many churches. I deny: That Jesus wants us to add to their immense suffering.James Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 I affirm: That LGBT people are some of the holiest people I know. I deny: That Jesus wants us to judge others, when he clealrly forbade it.James Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 I affirm that the Father loves LGBT people, the Son calls them and the Holy Spirit guides them. I deny nothing about God's love for them.What he said. [...]



I got your respect right here…. Raising Adults

2017-08-25T09:39:34.624-07:00

[This week, Verlyn Giles, an extraordinary coach and human being, was inducted into the Leon High School Football Hall of Fame in Tallahassee Florida. Here’s what I wrote in Raising Adults about how Verlyn and a few other remarkable adults shaped my life back in the day.]When I was a boy, my uncle, Bryant Kendall, my coach, Verlyn Giles, my high school principal, Robert Stevens, a youth worker named Shuford Davis, a campus worker named Bob Norwood, and more teachers than I can count. They listened to me and took my ideas seriously. They asked good questions. They talked straight. They gave me training and responsibility. My uncle helped me learn to mow lawns before my parents allowed me to touch anything with a motor at home. I had teachers who encouraged me to think outside the box and helped me learn to sort my thoughts and express them directly and economically. Verlyn Giles helped me learn to think and communicate under pressure and taught me to value ingenuity and skill over brute force. Bob Norwood asked questions that encouraged me choose between good and better. Shuford Davis engaged with me even though I was not part of his youth group, asking questions that caused me to address spirituality with my mind as well as my heart.    Respect isn’t empty-headed acceptance of any and all behavior. Respect grows from the acknowledgment that all of us are in process. We’ve learnedeverything we know so far, and we have quite a bit more to learn before we’re done.    Respect acknowledges that what’s obvious to one person may not be a bit obvious to someone else. And that’s a very good place to begin the conversation.And isn’t that what life is all about, the ability to go around back and come up inside other people’s heads to look out at the damned fool miracle and say: oh so that’s how you see it!? Well, now, I must remember that.—Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine, William Morrow, 2001, page xiii    Shaming is a monologue. Respect is a dialogue. The surest way for me to show respect is to ask honest questions and listen carefully until, whether or not we agree, the other person is pretty sure I truly understand.— from Raising Adults by Jim HancockBROWSE FRAGMENTS FROM RAISING ADULTSBUY RAISING ADULTS[...]



The Growth of US Hate Groups from 2000 to 2017

2017-08-24T12:52:12.927-07:00

A two-minute overview of the growth of hate groups in the US from from 2000 to mid-2017, courtesy of the Southern Poverty Law Center and The Atlantic.

allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/4a-QwKMbqkM" width="480">

The Atlantic writes:

According to research by the Southern Poverty Law Center, the number of hate groups has been increasing rapidly since 2000. Heidi Beirich, director of the Center’s Intelligence Project, links the rise in recruitment to the 2000 census that predicted whites would be a minority by 2042. Beirich says there’s been another spike following the election of Donald Trump, particularly among alt-right organizations who have attached themselves directly to the current president. In an interview filmed at the 2017 Aspen Ideas Festival, Beirich says that Trump’s limited commentary on hate crimes shows his lack of concern.



Silence in the Kitchen | a fragment from Raising Adults

2017-08-02T15:35:37.012-07:00


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Kids have an amazing capacity to learn new tricks. They don’t allow themselves to get very cold or hungry or lost more than once without pretty good reasons.

    One very good reason, of course, is to get under the skin of a parent who is a hijacker.

    When, on frosty mornings, I see kids on their way to school without their jackets, I imagine the sort of conversations that occurred on their way out the door. For example….

Interior. Morning. Kitchen. An eleven year old boy runs a piece of bread around the rim of a jelly jar and chews thoughtfully, having decided toast is too much trouble.  
From another room we hear an adult voice: Are you wearing your jacket? 
There is silence in the kitchen. The adult speaks louder: Are you WEARING your JACKET! 
The boy speaks, his mouth full of bread: Snot Cold! 
Adult: What? I said, are you wearing your jacket? 
Silence in the kitchen. After a moment the adult hollers: ANSWER ME! 
The boy glances up at the clock. Indeed, he is not cold at this moment. He is, however, tired of being yelled at from another room—though he is not about to venture from the relative safety of the kitchen, at least not voluntarily, to find out what the hollering is about. In an instant the boy decides he will placate the one in the other room but, for reasons he hardly understands, he will not satisfy her. His voice rises with the patronizing tone he will use again some fifty years in the future to explain to his mother why she must eat her strained vegetables: Mom, it’s too hot to wear my jacket in here. Don’t worry about it.
With that, the boy dips his finger in the jelly, rubs it on another piece of bread which he folds neatly in half, walks past his jacket and out the door into the cold, clear day of his youth.

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Miracles | (Someone Special)

2017-07-17T15:46:26.537-07:00

This is who we are.

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Cause + Effect | I learned it from you! OK?

2017-07-17T15:47:13.328-07:00

The line between actions and consequences is severely blurred for a lot of kids because, by and large, they don’t understand the general principle of cause and effect.    They don’t understand cause and effect because the adults in their lives constantly come behind them to fix things when they screw up.    This problem is complicated by idle threats and equally idle promises.    An example: The promise, If you’ll be good boy (whatever that means) at the store, I’ll buy you a treat, is easily lost in the excuse: It’s too close to dinner; you’ll spoil your appetite.    Not fair! Sure, we have to be concerned for a kid’s nutritional well-being. So we’d better take care to not make idle promises in exchange for compliant behavior.    All right, that’s it! One more word out of you and we’re going straight home!    Really? You’re going to load everybody back onto the bus and go straight home? I’m not saying you shouldn’t do exactly that if it fits the situation. But please don’t threaten to do it if you know you can’t live with the consequences of following through.    If I say: Stop nagging! You kids are killing me! I should have the decency to die the next time one of them nags. Otherwise, it’s just an idle promise.    More to the point, our children falter in learning the connection between cause and effect when, not wanting them to experience pain, many of us are quick to rescue them from the consequences of their failures and wrongdoing.    When they’re young we easily replace a toy carelessly lost or broken in anger and shield them from the cost of their actions. Time passes and we drop what we’re doing to deliver an item thoughtlessly left behind so a middle-schooler won’t suffer a loss of face or miss a meal or fail to turn in a paper on time. Still later, we cover a negligently overdrawn checking account or pay a traffic ticket and insurance increase resulting from a moving violation, or hire a lawyer to rescue our beloved failure from a ruined life.    And they resent us for it. Maybe not in the moment, but soon and forever until we make things right.— from Raising Adults by Jim HancockBROWSE FRAGMENTS FROM RAISING ADULTSSUBSCRIBE TO FRAGMENTS FROM RAISING ADULTSBUY RAISING ADULTS[...]



in-betweenness | this is who we are

2017-07-16T10:23:11.372-07:00

Not fully child, not fully adult....
Adolescents can [glimpse their in-betweenness] by looking in the full-length mirror on back of the bathroom door. The opaque glance and the pimples. The fancy new nakedness they're all dressed up in with no place to go. The eyes full of secrets they have a strong hunch everybody is on to. The shadowed brow. Being not quite a child and not quite a grown-up either is hard work, and they look it. Living in two worlds at once is no picnic.  One of the worlds, of course, is innocence, self-forgetfulness, openness, playing for fun. The other is experience, self-consciousness, guardedness, playing for keeps. Some of us go on straddling them both for years.
.... 
We become fully and undividedly human, I suppose, when we discover that the ultimate prudence is a kind of holy recklessness, and our passion for having finds peace in our passion for giving, and playing for keeps is itself the greatest fun. Once this has happened and our adolescence is behind us at last, the delight of the child and the sagacity of the Supreme Court justice are largely indistinguishable. 
– Frederick Buechner, Whistling in the Dark,  p. 2



For His Own Good | Hijacking

2017-07-05T12:17:25.697-07:00

Hijacking begins with the conviction that I know you better than you know yourself. I feel certain nothing could make you happier than thinking I believe that.    This is what an awful lot of adults (and not just a lot of awful adults) regularly do to the kids in their lives. Come to think of it, adults do it to each other all the time and I don’t know anyone—adult or child—who enjoys it even a little bit.    Hijackers assume kids will end up in the wrong place, or at least try to get there a different way than the adult would—which of course makes it the wrong way. No matter how mature the youngster actually may be, she will feel childish at the hands of the Hijacker.    “Do you have your lunch money?” is an insult on the lips of a Hijacker because it means I’m pretty sure that left to your own devices you’d starve. Remember that time you forgot your lunch money? You were hungry weren’t you? I wouldn’t want to let you make that mistake again. There’s very little chance the child will be hungry at the end of this exchange as she’s probably had about all she can stomach.    Most adults mean no harm when they Hijack. The goal after all is to head off undesirable consequences. But Hijackers do considerable harm to their relationships and the self-esteem of those they care for. The underlying message of Hijacking is:You’re helpless without me. You need me for the most trivial matters. I’m saying this for your own good. You’d lose your mind if I didn’t hand it to you on the way out the door every morning. Never forget that. And, honey, have a good day.     Hijacking fosters dependence instead of encouraging intelligent independence. Right through adolescence, Hijacker insists on looking after details like what to wear, what to eat, how to study, when to sleep and wake, how specifically to get from point A to point B. Then, should the child makes the mistake of relinquishing control in any of these areas Hijackers blame them for not looking after the little things any fool can accomplish in his sleep. It’s a dirty business, Hijacking.     You don’t understand! It’s for his own good!    Blah, blah, blah.    No, really; he’d forget his head if it wasn’t attached!    Not more than once.BUY RAISING ADULTSBROWSE FRAGMENTS FROM RAISING ADULTSSUBSCRIBE TO FRAGMENTS FROM RAISING ADULTS[...]



Canary in a Coal Mine | Young, Hoping + Coping

2017-06-16T11:05:33.870-07:00

     Children are often the first to succumb to toxic cultural conditions. Look around, it’s not hard to see that for some, the song is over before it’s barely begun.    In this connection, much has been made of adolescent suicide, as should be. Confirmed reporting of data on causes of death lags well behind real time. We know that, in 2014:425 10-14-year-olds died by suicide1,837 15-19-year-olds died by suicide3,253 20-24-year-olds died by suicideIncluding 20-24-year-olds is an artifact of the first wave of reporting in which, other than 10-14-year-olds, the numbers are often released in 10-year groupings—15-24-year-olds, 25-34-year-olds, and so on. A lot of us are accustomed to thinking of teen suicide differently than young adult suicide, much as we’re accustomed to think differently about 24-year-olds and 15-year-olds giving birth. But maybe it’s useful to consider the lives of people in the five years after their teens. Most of us don't think typical 24-year-olds have much in common with typical 15-year-olds, but many 24-year-olds are still within reach of help from people they knew and trusted when they were 15 (as well as people they might have trusted at 15, had they known them).    In any event, in 2014, the rate of suicides spiked from about nine per 100,000 15-19-year-olds to about 14 per 100,000 20-24-year-olds. That spike is typical of recent years. For people endeavoring to raise adults, this is sad news.    The vulnerability of American children and adolescents is measured in more ways than suicide. For example, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention conducts longterm Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance that does more or less what it sounds like: The YRBS studies risky behavior in America’s student population. These indicators suggest that, in general, things are not as good as we wish, and not bad as we fear.    Here’s a sampling from the High School Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance 2015 Results:    If you’ve been told things are getting worse all the time, the data show that is not true. Much of the conduct measured in the CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance is trending less risky compared to the peak between 1991 and 2015. Any-is-too-many, yes…but let’s give credit where credit is due. In many ways, the current crop of high schoolers are doing better than, or about as well as, the generation before them at the same age.    Having said that, we return to the any-is-too-many theme. Kids in trouble are in as much trouble as kids in trouble ever were. Their families suffer the same sort of distress all distressed families always suffer.    When teenagers take risks in reaction to real life stress—self-medicating against pain, for instance, or non-suicidal self harm to deflect pain—they are trying to do what people have always tried to do. They are trying to cope.BUY RAISING ADULTSSUBSCRIBE TO FRAGMENTS FROM RAISING ADULTS[...]



Shots Fired or the Silence of the Lambs

2017-06-15T12:15:58.784-07:00

Imagine a shooting in a crowded place where no one hears the gun fire...where one person after another falls wounded or dead because the firearm is all but silent.Here are the Members of Congress who intend to rip this scenario from your imagination to play out in your local dance club, the lobby of your airport or church, along the margins of your local ball-field, in a grade school classroom, and then another, maybe a third before anyone notices ("I wonder why those children are screaming.... Oh, well, now it stopped").These Members of Congress are the sponsors of the Hearing Protection Act of 2017, ISYN—because the worst thing about shootings is the noise, right?115th CONGRESS1st SessionH. R. 367To provide that silencers be treated the same as long guns.IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVESJanuary 9, 2017        Mr. Duncan of South Carolina (for himself, Mr. Carter of Texas, Mr. Gene Green of Texas, Mr. Austin Scott of Georgia, Mr. Biggs, Mr. Gosar, Mr. Hudson, Mr. LaMalfa, Mr. Harris, Mr. Westerman, Mr. Olson, Mr. Chaffetz, Mr. Hensarling, Mr. Carter of Georgia, Mr. Labrador, Mr. Brooks of Alabama, Mr. Smith of Texas, Mr. Bishop of Utah, Mr. Brat, Mr. Abraham, Mr. Palmer, Mrs. Love, Mr. Bridenstine, Mr. Stewart, Mr. Marshall, Mr. Emmer, Mr. Ratcliffe, Mr. Jody B. Hice of Georgia, Mr. Buck, Mr. Weber of Texas, Mr. Messer, Mr. Mooney of West Virginia, Mr. DeSantis, Mr. Newhouse, Mr. Smith of Missouri, Mr. Graves of Georgia, Mr. Lamborn, Mr. Wenstrup, Mr. Rogers of Alabama, Mr. DesJarlais, Mr. Massie, Mr. King of Iowa, Mr. Gohmert, and Mr. Yoder) introduced the following bill; which was referred to the Committee on Ways and Means, and in addition to the Committee on the Judiciary, for a period to be subsequently determined by the Speaker, in each case for consideration of such provisions as fall within the jurisdiction of the committee concernedA BILLTo provide that silencers be treated the same as long guns.Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.This Act may be cited as the “Hearing Protection Act of 2017”.SEC. 2. EQUAL TREATMENT OF SILENCERS AND FIREARMS.(a) In General.—Section 5845(a) of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 is amended by striking “(7) any silencer” and all that follows through “; and (8)” and inserting “; and (7)”.(b) Effective Date.—(1) IN GENERAL.—Except as otherwise provided in this subsection, the amendment made by this section shall take effect on the date of the enactment of this Act.(2) TRANSFERS.—In the case of the tax imposed by section 5811 of such Code, the amendment made by this section shall apply with respect to transfers after October 22, 2015.SEC. 3. TREATMENT OF CERTAIN SILENCERS.Section 5841 of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 is amended by adding at the end the following:“(f) Firearm Silencers.—A person acquiring or possessing a firearm silencer in accordance with Chapter 44 of title 18, United States Code, shall be treated as meeting any registration and licensing requirement[...]



Did She Jump? | Learning to ask a different question

2017-06-12T13:38:04.334-07:00

For a long time, when hurting, at-risk kids and parents came to me for help, I wanted to know—the judge in me wanted to know—Did she jump or was she pushed? Things like that matter to the judge. How else can he assign blame? But over time, broken and battered myself, compassion posed a new question. Compassion asks: Does it matter how it happened? She’s broken. What now?Here is my hope for all of us—you, me, our children, our children’s children: Acknowledging that things are seldom as they should be, I hope we’ll be able to look at things as they are and ask, What Now?from Raising Adults by Jim HancockBUY RAISING ADULTSSUBSCRIBE TO FRAGMENTS FROM RAISING ADULTS[...]