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Updated: 2017-08-13T07:39:59.518-04:00


Predictions for 2014


Photo of world's largest crystal ball by: Sanjay Acharya CC-BY-SA-3.0
In anticipation of an exciting 365 days, here are some predictions for the upcoming year:

No major bills will be passed out of Congress, on immigration, gun control or anything else
There will not be another government shutdown
Politicians will focus exclusively on the midterm elections beginning in the late Winter/early Spring
Hillary Clinton will announce her candidacy for President
The Unemployment rate will fall
The Labor Participation rate will also fall
The wealth gap between the top 1% and the rest of the country will continue to grow

North Korea will issue apocalyptic threats, they will be given aid, and the status quo in the hermit kingdom will continue
Bashar Assad will be the ruler of Syria at the end of 2014
Russia will experience civil unrest and Vladimir Putin will crack down Hard.
Israel and Saudi Arabia will develop a more publicly close relationship
There will be no peace deal between Israel and the Palestinians
Africa will experience much death through civil war

The Super Bowl will be a good, close game played between the Denver Broncos and the Seattle Seahawks. The final outcome will hinge on a controversial pass interference call.
The New York Knicks draft pick traded in the Carmelo deal will end up becoming an All Star player
Gino Smith will be considered an above average quarterback by the end of his second year
The US will not make the knock out round of the World Cup

The Jewish World
A Rabbi will blame a tragedy on Gay marriage or the decline in tznius/women not covering their hair
Kiryat Yoel will become a more talked about issue
A prominent Rabbi will follow Pope Francis' example and advocate a leftward move on economic and social issues.

The JBlogosphere
DaBoysof905 will post more entries in 2014 than they did in 2013.

Dvar Torah..... By Insane Clown Posse


About miracles. Sounds remarkably like a dvar torah you can hear at Aish or Chabad (except for the swearing.)

For example: "Miracles.... it's all around you and you dont even know it, it's crazy." And this: "And I dont want to talk to a scientist, ya'll mother******* lying, and getting me pissed."

These lines coming straight from the mouth of a bunch of tattooed rappers in clownface.


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An Open Letter To Lebron James


Come to New York. Your country needs you here. This may sound melodramatic, but hear me out. You might have noticed that the US has gone through some difficult financial times over the past year. Bubbles burst, stock markets collapsed, bailouts were needed, recessions have lingered, etc. You may also be aware that a lot of these things originated in New York. The Big Apple is the financial capital of the country, and is uniquely responsible for our economic health.

So, you may ask: how would your coming to New York help the situation? Let me explain: Finance is a confidence game. Of course the real-world economics of deals have to work, but everything else comes down to confidence. And that is the greatest commodity you can bring here.

In many ways the Knicks have mirrored Wall Street incompetence over the last decade. Both institutions overpayed for bloated assets, employed short sighted decision making at the expense of long term planning, and suffered from poor leadership. Isiah Thomas and Chuck Prince are so similar they could easily be called brothers from another mother. But, the team has changed. The Knicks are offloading nonperforming assets, focusing on the future, and are under new management. The team is poised for a resurgence, and so is Wall Street. But the Knicks need a centerpiece, and the Street needs a symbol. You could be both.

You coming here would give the team the talent and championship swagger it has not had in a long, long time. The City would feed off that swagger. You would become the symbol of renewed faith in our team and in our City. Confidence would flow back into town; and the team, the City, The Street and our entire financial system would benefit.

A word about Cleveland. I understand how much you mean to that City. Other than your presence, they have had a bad run of things. A great argument could be made that you are a cosmic reward for all Cleveland's suffering. So, this year win them a Championship. You deserve it. Big Z deserves it. The fans deserve it. Cleveland deserves it. But after the trophy is handed out, say your goodbyes, you will have done your duty there. Then come and fulfill your destiny here.

It is the rare athlete who has the ability and opportunity to transcend sports and become legendary. Examples include Jesse Owens, Joe DiMaggio, Mohammad Ali, Jackie Robinson, and The 1980 US Hockey Team. You have been given the athletic ability to transcend your sport. You now have the opportunity to mean something greater to your society. Come to New York. Your legend awaits.

BestFilms of the 2000s


It's the time for making lists, so I figured Id get in on the action. Here are my faves in random order. There are 47 of them. I was going for 50 but thought Id leave 3 spots open in case I forgot any. What do you think?

The Dark Knight; Crash; Reign Over Me; Wall-E; Synecdoche NY; Dogville; Amelie; Almost Famous; Avatar; The Lives of Others; In America; Hotel Rwanda; Tsotsi; The Departed; Donnie Darko; Juno; O Brother Where Art Thou; Memento; Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon; Mystic River; There will be Blood; City of God; Finding Nemo; Shrek; Casino Royale; Kill Bill; 21 Grams; Snatch; Stranger Than Fiction; The Ring; Blow; Napolean Dynamite; Superbad; Sin City; Hurt Locker; The Fountain; Sunshine; The Prestige; I Am Sam; Training Day; Hero; Ushpizin; Zoolander; Requiem for a Dream; Love Actually; The House of Sand and Fog

In Praise of Bill Belichick


I never thought I would post under this heading; but here I am. I have hated the Patriots for a long time. I freely admit that it is an irrational hatred, based on personal bias. But still, those are perfectly acceptable and mostly encouraged for sports fans.

Anyway, last night Coach B made a coaching decision in a losing cause that is being villified by most analysts. I wont detail in football terms what happened because if you care, you already know, and if you dont you wont understand. But basically, the coach made a decision that was statistically smart, but greatly against conventional wisdom. The stats said that if one decision was made, the team would have a 79% chance of victory; whereas if the other choice were made there would be a 70% chance of winning. Conventional coaching theory said go with the second choice.

The Patriots coach went with the right move, convention be damned, and his team lost. It was the best move, but sometimes, the best move does not work out.

If we only had world leaders who made decisions based on what is actually the best decision as opposed to what is perceived to be the best decision, we would live in a much better place.

Reason # 3276 I dislike the law


Yesterdays NY Law Journal highlighted two cases in which plaintiffs were awarded money. In the first case, a probationary worker hired at some government agency was fired after 25 or so weeks for using the agency's loudspeaker system to make disparaging remarks about her supervisors. In the second case, a man had spent close to 2 years in prison for a crime he didnt commit because a forensics lab screwed up their fingerprint analysis.

One plaintiff banked $1.8 million. The other one got $140k.

As you might have figured out from the title of the post, the fired temp worker got the million dollar payday for having her 'due process' rights denied, while the poor shlub who was imprisoned got the lesser amount.

How this fits into anyone's sense of Justice is mindboggling to me.

Honest Abe


That's not true
said the boy
the wise men have no clue
they pray to a toy
and expect me to too

They tell me a tale
saying I should believe
or they'll throw me in jail
till I bow on my knees

But their story's a lie
and their faith just a fraud
so I plan to defy
in a way deep and broad

Their gods I will smash
with my tools into dust
then Ill rock like the Clash
their foundation I must

My culture is wrong
its ideals based on myth
but alone Im not strong
I need help to come with

Get thee out
Said a voice
And Ill show you about
You do have a choice
I can show you the route

High Tide


My neighbors all mocked me
they said I was fool
To think it was noticed
the poison we drool
Rich times were rolling
poor times were too
As abuses mounted
in march to deluge
Now it dont matter
the life that we had
Our culture developed
both good and bad
Some things I salvaged
most I could not
Can youth learn their lesson
or turn back to rot
For me it has ended
I've seen the new leaf
And drown out life's sorrow
in fermented grief

Wonderful Smells


It’s not often that I associate NYC with wonderful smells. When I think NY scents I immediately imagine maple syrup, subway odor or Hudson stench. To be fair, maybe Ill think of the Mexican truck. But, for the past couple of weeks, upon coming home, I have been greeted with the most wonderful olfactory delights. You see, a new couple moved in downstairs from me, and someone in that apartment is always cooking up the most amazing food. I wouldn’t be surprised if the fare is un-kasherable, but every day I am more and more tempted to knock on the door and demand recipes. Would that be weird?

Honey Crisp


with skin so shiny
you tempt me close
my soul to the point of
breaking just to have you
for my own forbidden
tart tangy soft and sweet
evenow satisfies
this craving for the
juices that
flow from your tender
flesh succulent like no
man has the right to
expect firmness unparalleled
i devour you like a cougar
to the core
where my being shudders
damn - you're a fine apple

Slide This One Right Over


Dear [Name of nice restaurant we all ate at a few days ago withheld]:

I deeply apologize for the recent actions of my friends during our delicious meal at your fine establishment. It wasn't that our meals weren't satisfying enough, it was just that that darn slider looked so sad and lonely sitting all by itself on the other table.

Our mothers always told us not to let food go to waste, so when the customers got up from their table, left a large wad of bills and put on their coats, it seemed safe to assume that the fully-intact slider left on their plate was just going to go in the garbage. And when goaded by a friend with $5 bill to get up and just take that slider - well, one of us couldn't resist.

Some of us maintained our sense of decency, but one of DaBoys, couldn't bear to see that tiny, yummy burger go to waste. After slathering on a good dose of sauce and fried onions, he wasted no time in enjoying the bounty pilfered from the other table. Considerately, this DaBoy stopped midchew to offer the others at the table a bite, but we all politely refused. After all, we're happy to take from strangers, but not from our friends.

Ultimately, the DaDoy finished off the slider, making sure to clean his plate of the extra onions as well. I decided it would be smart to put the empty plate back on our neighbor's table, so as not to confuse our waiter. Considerate, no?

Not long after our laughter subsided and conversation shifted away from this incident... the customers from the other table reentered the restaurant smelling subtly of cigarette smoke! What? Did they intentionally leave one complete slider on their plate to finish after their cigarette break?

All we could do was laugh. Giggles and muffled snorts flew from our table. We're not sure if our fellow-customers even noticed the missing burger, or if they really did plan to eat it after their excursion, but we did make sure to check our bill for the price of 1/3rd of a plate of 3 sliders....

So, thank you, [restaurant's name], in advance for not kicking us out next time we show up at your door. I am sure that the surveillance video from the camera pointed directly at our table served to be pure entertainment for your waitstaff.


Why Can't We Throw Things at People More Often?


Sometimes, I wish it were more socially acceptable to throw things at people. Not hard, blunt objects (though believe me, there are times I want to throw those at people too), but more as a way of getting their attention. For example, let's say you are in a restaurant and you are trying to get a waiter's attention. The waiter is standing a few tables from your own, but they are facing the other direction. What can you do? Should you rudely and loudly bark "Excuse me!" or (if dealing with a waitress) "Miss!"? Tell me that it doesn't feel incredibly rude to do so, let alone disruptive to the other patrons to yell across a nice but relatively quiet restaurant.

What if, instead, you could just throw your napkin at them? No loud barking, much less disruption to other restaurant-goers, and it would instantly get their attention, no? But of course, you can't do that - the waiter/waitress would be offended and angry. Throwing things - even soft and painless things - at other people just isn't considered socially acceptable. But perhaps it should be.

Rumors of our Demise


Dear our loyal past and future readers:

Our blog had been building a nice community and carving out an identity when at some point, we began petering out, and then disappeared without so much as a goodbye. We're sorry about that... it wasn't something we intended to happen, it's just something we didn't make enough of an effort to avoid. A lot has changed since we were last posting regularly. When you last found JT, LT, DK :-), and DaGirl, we were four plucky Upper West Side-dwellers, trying to make sense of (or at least poke fun at) the chaotic world around us from the comfortable confines of Apartment 905. What's happened in the past year? DK :-) moved out of 905 and changed jobs. LT has been busy: in the past five months, he bought a house in Staten Island with DaGirl, moved out of 905, and began law school. Just a week and a half ago, LT and DaGirl got engaged (yay!). This left only JT in 905, but alas, even he has moved out within the past month.

While Apartment 905 may be populated by unwashed heathens by now (or, more likely, sits empty given the evil and slightly incompetent nature of our building's management)... and while none of us live in 905 anymore, we prefer to think the spirit of 905 lives on. We may have left the apartment, but the vibe hasn't left us. And so, we hope to come back to posting at least somewhat regularly. We look forward to reacquainting ourselves with our regular readers of the past, as well as hopefully meeting some other new wonderful readers in the future. =)

- DaBoys and DaGirl

Worth Coming Out of Retirement for:


Ok folks - this one was too good to let pass by....

What follows is an email I received as a result of being on some listserves for the Syrian community:

Attention Fellow Syrian Community Members

It is unfortunate and uncomfortible to bring to light and publicize a current and potential dangerous situation that is presently going on in our Syrian Community. A so called hair salon which caters to many Syrian women of our community has been engaging and openly dealing with immodesty and promiscuity to an extent which is now intolerable and is crossing lines, which can jeopardize marriages in our Syrian community.

It can surely endanger the welfare and well being of our Syrian sanctity in marriage.

This full service hair salon, located in Brooklyn, has had numerous encounters with a certain amount of husbands, in the community about affairs with numerous women of the Syrian community that frequent the establishment, and has had numerous issues come up that has husbands enraged and fearful that this will start spreading and becoming an epidemic that will have disasterous results in the future of families, that consequently bring a precarious situation if not done so already.

If patronizing this salon, and not knowing what is going on behind the scenes, this can and will most surely break up marriages and cause divorces in our community.

Only a hairdresser knows for sure how to penetrate in the minds of women, to eventually have them under his mindset. When a man is beautifying a lady, it is very common that the women let their guard down and pick up on emotional vibes that can cause sexual indiscretions to take place without the knowlege of their husbands.

It is extremely pertinent and of the utmost importance for husbands to be fully aware that this “Full Service” hair salon, located in the heart of the Syrian Jewish Community in Brooklyn, be scrutinized and taken seriously by husbands whose wives frequent the establishment of this “Full Service” salon.

Now, I'm not entirely convinced that this isn't a joke, but it certainly seems serious. Why not outright name said salon?

Husbands, take caution when your wife goes out to get that hair cut: "Only a hairdresser knows for sure how to penetrate in the minds of women."

Changing Religion


A new study finds that American's are shifting religion at an increasing rate. I think that's interesting...I see a few possible reasons for this trend:

1. increased exposure to other religions
2. an increase in the number of people with no belief in religion (the unafiliated tag on the graph may account for that)
3. recent scandals scaring people away from Catholicism (and other religions.)

But the good news is that these has only been a change in .2 percent of those who no longer consider themselves "Jewish."


Marrying Young


(image) Ynet recently posted a letter from a young women who by her own admission married too young (aged 20), got pregnant and is now seeking a divorce. She explains that her "husband is a truly good guy, but it appears that he just doesn’t know what to do. He never learned how to conduct himself with a woman." One of her major complaints is that whenever an issue arises between them, he runs to his Rabbi to discuss it and assigns more weight to his opinion than her own. I thought this was an interesting take on a pretty important issue. I wish her (and her soon to be ex) all the best.

Hat tip: DovBear

Legoing the Bible


A coworker just sent me this link containing photos of lego designs of Bible scenes. Pretty cool.

HatTip: D(C)C

Making a Mitzvah Out of Sleeping In


Looking for a good reason to get out of bed?

Try the snuznluz!

Every time you hit the snooze button, your alarm clock will automatically subtract money from your bank account and donate it to the charity of your choice.

The recommended use is to set it up to donate to your least favorite charity to motivate you to get out of bed, but if we set this up the opposite way, we could make a make sleeping through shacharit a good thing!


Hat tip: Howard

Happy Super Giant Fat Tueday!!


I hope y'all had fun voting, parading, getting beads and saying Shir Shel Yom Shlishi.

Hat Tip: NDK:-)

In Praise of...Eli Manning


The top three reasons to love Eli Manning:

1. He is understated. For the entire season, this has caused him ruthless criticism for his "lack of heart" or failure to show emotion on and off the field. I, however, can only respect his modesty and subdued approach. He is an introvert on a field where the players who get noticed are those who showboat and boast, but he is content to simply play the best football he knows how.

2. He succeeded under immense pressure, with the shadow of his brother's huge success looming and his father's legacy on his shoulders. Still, he credits his entire team for the win, and is happy to share the podium with all of them.

3. He is a mamma's boy in the best sense of the word. While his father was on the road with the Saints, and Payton was busy playing in his football games, Eli spent his time with his mother. I think this made him into the mensch he is. (See reasons #1 and #2.) (Congrats to his fiancée!)

Also, if I may add one more little note, he won one of the most exciting football games ever played.



(Side note: Apparently, a Chabad center sent out an email prior to the game requesting that prayers be said for Eli ben Archie...maybe there is some higher power cheering for the Giants?)

New York Giants - Super Bowl Champions


Wow. And it all started when Coach Coughlin played his starters the last week of the season.

Meeting your Match


Internet dating has been around for several years now. Most of these sites are familiar, at least by name, to the singles crowd and probably 95% of single people have considered using them at one time or another.

Like many, I have mixed feelings.

On the one hand, they open up a world of dating opportunities with people you would never otherwise meet, but because of all of these choices now on the menu, it's even harder to make your final pick.

But there are two types of sites out there. There are basically dating glossaries, such as JDate or Chemistry.con, which provides you an exhaustive listing of every single person in their directory, searchable by guidelines you set. And then theres eHarmony, which provides matches for you based on a 250+ questionnaire and their own compatibility formula.

It's creepy to think that a computer can figure you out better than you can...but I am a firm believer that many people have trouble in relationships because they don't know what they should be looking for. They certainly know what they think they want and don't want, but that is often very different as to what is best for them in a long-term relationship.

So, I don't find it entirely surprising that eHarmony now claims that they are responsible for 2 percent of the marriages that occurred in America last year. Yes, that's over 120 marriages a day.

The entire industrialized world has changed over the last 20 years because of computers, so why shouldn't they work in the dating world?

Trust the machines, man!


Late Night


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Why you may ask am I watching random French electropop at 221 am on a Wed night? Im not sure, but right now, I think this is the best thing ever. Dont you just love the internet....

Bad News, Snackers


Double dipping is a bacteria-spreading menace!

Ok, it's not quite that dramatic. But, next time you have half of that tortilla chip left over from the previous us all a favor and suffer through crunching on it plain...

at the very least, dip it in the thick cheese sauce, not the chunky salsa...( i don't like nacho cheese much anyway)


Pre-emptive Publishing?


Apparently the Super Bowl has already been determined.

Yesterday, Amazon listed a book entitled: "19-0: The Historic Championship Season of New England's Unbeatable Patriots."

Ignoring the overly-wordy title, I do understand that championship T-shirts are currently being printed for both the Giants and the Patriots, so they are ready to go as soon as a victor is determined. Those shirts that turn out to be false once the game is decided, are then - as I understand it based on a family friend in the business - sent to 3rd world countries. So, there's some kid in Africa wearing a 2007 Chicago Bears shirt and a 2007 Championship Colorado Rockies shirt, etc.

But books! Now, that costs a lot more to write and publish than printing a flimsy T-shirt.

Amazon has since removed the book listing from their site...I wonder if it was truly an error, as they claim, or simply a response to the backlash.

I think that if they wanted to be truly fair and balanced, for just a few hours, they should list a book entitled:
"The 2008 Champion Giants: From Underdog to Top Dog in the League."