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a bLoGgEr FrOm GaZa

Updated: 2018-03-21T19:40:11.140+02:00


back to reality


hi everybody... im back :) at least i think i am, sorry for leaving my blog for such a long long time, but what can i say.. "too many balls in the air".. i'm now in college "AGAIN" and yeah.. i have little Sarah, she is 2months and 20 days old :)

What can i tell you more.. hmmm.. nothing have changed since i last posted.. i think.. everything in Gaza is still the same, the only good thing is you don't hear apatchi helicopters now, that's a relief. The peace treaty between hamas and israel hasn't changed much of what is happening, i'm still suffering from the shortage of soft drinks and sodas ;) i mean, the portals and ways from and to gaza are STILL all closed, we still don't have enough gas for cooking and there isn't any fuel for cars, that's why the genius creative drivers of gaza started using Cooking OIL instead of gazoline or fuel, which makes even the thought of taking a walk in the street "suffocating"..
Tomorrow schools will open and a new scholastic year will start, even my son raed is going to kindergarten :) i'm really excited, i feel like it's me who's going.. he he he, i know.. mothers and their stupid desire to control everything... what can i do.. all mothers are, i think it comes with the whole package of motherhood!!!
Returning to schools, the streets of Gaza are used to be filled with crowds of people in this time of the year, beginning of schools and ramadan too, i mean, 2 seasons in one, but unfortunately, unlike every year, the shops are empty and the supermarkets are hollow, just like the pockets of the gazans!!! the prices over here are sky rocketing.. since last year no goods of any kind have entered the strip, which created a huge shortage in all primary goods and even accessories, which of course as a result made greedy merchants ask for a loooooooot for what they are selling, all the prices are at least 3 times higer from what the are supposed to be... sighhhh.. talk about social interdependence :S
And also tomorrow may be the first day of Ramadan, so "Ramadan Kareem everybody" .. looks like it's gonna be a busy day tomorrow :)
Well.. that's about it for now, i promise that i'll write soon :D

City of Candles :S


I'm sure that you've all heard about what's happening in Gaza..

Looks like we always succeed in reaching the headlines... as if we are the only ones having some "action" in our lives ... ha ha ha... strange how -although all the misery we are going through and living- we still have the "ability" to even draw a smile on our faces..

I've seized the opportunity of having electricity for few hours to write this post... it's been a loooong time since i blogged a new entry..

so.. let me brief you on the most recent updates.. since my last post until now, nothing has entered Gaza but essential food aid, like rice, flour, wheat, sugar, milk... etc and limited amounts of fuel, which have been banned since last week, which have caused the complete cut of electricity in the strip :(

Yesterday, some militants bombed the wall between Egypt and Gaza, but they only let Palestinians cross to a place called "El-Areesh", which is a place that's even more disperate than Gaza itself.. :D

It's been ages since i ate a decent chocolate, or drank a soft drink... or even enjoyed a day with a 24 hour electricity..

LOoks like this is going to be one looooooong cold winter...but, will not despair

Happy Feast to all of you


Today is the second day of Eid here in the Arab and Muslim countries.. most of them at least!! i really can't understand how some countries see the new month's crescent while other countries don't... don't we all have the same moon or what?!!

As i was saying, today is the second day of Eid, and we got the chance to get out. according to Arab and Islamic customs, going out in the first day is a little bit hard, because men have to get out and visit all the sisters, aunts, relatives... etc in the first day, which makes it more like a visiting day.. while in the second day you can go out, that's if you don't have a big family, because if you do, visits may extend to the next day ;)

(image) This is a simple ride that is all around Gaza, and unfortunately it lacks the slightest means of safety, but children love it, and wait for their turn in crowds.. even horses are stars in the Eid.. they are bathed and dressed so children can go for a ride around a block or two..


Crowds waiting for their turn in the only amusement park in Gaza..


Mmmmmmmmmmmm... cotton candy... it's called here "shaer banat" which means "girls' hair" :D

(image) A cute girl eating the cotton candy.. and you can see my little devil sitting in the end... he's drinking juice because there isn't any sodas in Gaza because of the closure.. only locally made juices..


And of course, what's Eid without taking your kidz to the biggest toy store in town and making them drive you crazy???!!!

In the End i would like to take the chance and wish you all a happy Eid.. Eid Mubarak.. and Inshallah many returns :D

an eye on gaza


I always wanted to give you my dearest readers a chance to take a little look into Gaza City.. and at last, here is the chance...

After long and hard trials, i finally managed to collect 102 beautiful pictures of Gaza City into one video. And you my faithful readers are the first to see it..

so, thanx to me and my great efforts...he he he "Joking" :D but nothing of this could have happened if it wasn't for the help of my dear lovely friend "faith"... so thank you dear.. thank you a lot ...

and now... let me hear some drums... i would like to introduce my first published home made video..

please don't judge me.. it's my first ;D


Hope that you liked the music.. it's Mais Shalash's song "Sabah El-Kheer" "Good Morning".. :)

What Ramadan's all about ;)


Ramadan is one of the most greatest annual events in the arab and muslim world... it's a month when we muslims fast from dawn till dusk, and exert all efforts to read the Holly Quran for at least once during this month, and we also try to do all the good deeds possible hoping for forgiveness...What's really funny is that we twisted the concept of Ramadan, it's meant for us to feel the suffering of the poor and the underprivileged, and to concentrate on worshiping not food and daily life... now Ramadan means food and food and lots and lots of food !!! There is even a certain type of arabic sweets that's specially made in Ramadan and only Ramadan.. it's "Qatayef".. just follow the link and you can find the recipe. Qatayef is a dough that can be stuffed with different stuffings, some stuff it with cheese, others with walnuts, raisins and cinnamon and some even stuff it with cooked cream "Qishta"... it's really delicious, i love it.. but haven't done it yet this Ramadan.. maybe tomorrow :)Another Ramadan related activity is "fire crackers"!!! seems that children only play with fire crackers in Ramadan. I can't figure out the connection, but looks like it's a ritual or something like that :s I'm afraid that i'm gonna turn deaf by the end of Ramadan, either that or i'll get a heart attack cuz of the continuous booms!!! he he he heA symbol of Ramadan also is the "fanous" i don't know what's called in english but you can see how it looks from the pictures attached. In arabic traditions children should carry these small lamps and wonder around in the neighbourhood singing special old songs from the arabian heritage, like "wahawy ya wahawy" and "hallo ya hallo"and other songs, now the "fanous" is already singing the song by it self.. which also drives me crazy because it keeps going on and on and on..... :)Ramadan Kareem................... :)[...]

Ramadan Kareem


I'm back :)

I've been busy the last couple of weeks trying to figure "Photoshop"out...

i really love this programme, i bought the CD and watched a dozen of these video tutorials on "You Tube"... the potentials and possibilities of this programme are... huge.. really...

as you can see... i designed a header to my blog, it still needs finishing up.. i know, it can turn up a hundred times better... gonna work on it later..

I also designed some cards for Ramadan... i'm attaching some in this post... hope that you'll like them..

(image) (image)


If you want any card dedicated specially to someone.. send me


Back to school...


It's school... again!!!

Today, we started a new scholastic year here in Gaza, and all over Palestine..

This year children have to face too many obstacles, not that they haven't faced any in previous years, but as i said earlier, this year is "different", the first and most important obstacle is the infighting, people are scared that the fight will find its way into school rooms, which -if happened- may cause huge and terrible consequences.
The other major obstacle is suffering from is the extremely bad living conditions since last January, because of the international economic embargo on Hamas, which has increased after Hamas taking over Gaza and the closure of all crossing points either from or to Gaza.

Many students haven't bought new uniforms or bags for school this year, as most of the employees haven't received a salary for more than 6 months now, families are knocking charity organizations' doors looking for any assistance... (image)

Another obstacle is the teachers' threatening to strike, as they haven't been paid also... which imposes children to find themselves in the middle of all what's happening and a tool of pressure on the two governments.

another ironic obstacle is the duality of governments, according to which government will the exams be? or even the weekly holiday... will it be Saturday or Thursday...!? i wonder...

What can i say but... "have a good year" and by the way... "Ramadan Kareem" :)

Darkness in Gaza


I'm holding my pen, not knowing where to start from...Should i start with the ongoing show of killing and shooting of innocent people either by palestinians themselves or by israelies?Or should it be the closure of Rafah Crossing (El-Mabar) and the increasing numbers of people stranded on the Egyptian side?Or maybe i should talk about the salaries of thousands of poor PA employees who haven't received a penny since months, without any obvious reason... looks like everything is going wrong with out a reason from the first place!! which also reminds me of the large piles of garbage almost blocking Gaza's streets and the awful fumes that can knock you dead, all over the coastal strip, because of the municipality labourer's strike.. they also aren't receiving any salaries!! Perhaps it should be the Decision of the EU to cut it's supplies of Fuel to the Strip, which allowed Isreal to announce "also" it's decision of cutting the Electricity supply it provides to Gaza. Well, looks like electricity now is also used in this revolting game of "who cracks first" that everybody is playing.. i think they are calling politics now a days... the only ones loosing and suffering and also "cracking" are the simple citizens... who have nothing to do with all this nonsense..Schools are opening in few days, Ramadan is approaching and then comes Eid..all events that are known to be met with wonderful ceremonies and cheerful celebrations in such a way that makes you forget all the bitterness and sadness that we are all living... but this year.... it's different. You walk around in the streets, you see people with dark faces.. hollow looks... nothing is the same anymore. before we lived and went through bad and rough times, but... in the end, we still had each others. but now, it seems that we loosed everything, maybe even our cause... i'm afraid.You rarely hear the word "Palestine" anymore, you switch the channels -in the few hours we have electricity in-, looking for any news about Jerusalem and the tunnels dug beneath it, but also.. zip.. nothing.. sigh.. All you can see are politicians throwing accusations here and there, pointing fingers and looking for someone to blame.So much for a happy summer vacation... could things get any worse?![...]

Global Warming ?!@#


Living in Gaza doesn't mean that we aren't concerned with all that's going out there, cuz believe it or not... WE TOO LIVE ON THIS PLANET !!

Got an e-mail earlier about this polar bear... naa, won't tell you the rest.. the clip speaks for its self..


the video is funny, but at the same time, it carries a harsh truth that we are destroying our planet by our own hands...

From Gaza....


These are some pics that i took while wondering around in Gaza City....A florist shop.. most of the flowers are artificial ... :)The destroyed statue of the "Unknown Soldier".. in the middle of Gaza City.A gardener sprinkling water in the garden of the "Unknown Soldier"Some roomers of a salary for the PA employees who haven't received their salaries for 2 months or more have spread..."Shawermah" one of the most popular meat sandwiches in Gaza, and maybe in the arab world..Al Rimal StreetThe donkey is still considered to be one of the most popular means of transportation in the strip.. i'm still scared of them.. [...]

A typical hot day with no electricity ;)


Today was a very very hot day... and lucky us.. it was our turn in the electricity schedule i told you all about earlier... sigh.. :(My son and his father couldn't stand the heat.. so here is what they did :-My husband showering my son with a water hose.. :) Raed trying to escape the shower attackThe whole camp came to play around and watch ;) Ah... at last... my husband is being attacked... by other kidz. Raed threatening to feed them all to the lion... his loyal friend..Raed telling me all about his adventure...[...]

every cloud has a silver lining


the last couple of weeks were.... can't describe it with a word less than "hell"... i've been in and out of hospitals and private clinics, and in the end, i came down into one and only fact, medical care in gaza sucks!!!! i used to think so at first but now i really believe it...

I've been in a medical crisis at the first place because of a medical error, two weeks ago, and since then until today i've been everything but fine... :(

the funny thing is that while being in the hospital numerous number of doctors stand around you and try to prove there stupidity one way or the other, each of them gives an opinion that could have made me laugh if it wasn't me the subject of argument!!! one of them was insisting to take me into surgery the other was blabbering something about exploration!!!! me... they actually want to explore ME !!
I've always heard about a "near death experience" and how you see ur whole life flashing in front of ur eyes... but.. that didn't happen to me... i wonder why? the only thing i was worried about and thinking of all the time was... "what will happen to my son... my sweet little duckling.. "raed""..
"every cloud has a silver lining".. and that really proved to be right, during my illness, my friends proved to be true friends, they've helped me get through my rough times and made me feel a lot better...they didn't leave me alone even for a single moment... they felt for me.. they cried for me... and most important of all... they made me laugh in my darkest hours... :) That's why i would like to thank them all for helping me and cheering me up.. and i'd like to specially thank Rana, Nuha, Hana, Fadwa.... thank you all... you are really my guarding angels...

a schedule for life...


It's funny how our lives is plugged to electricity in this strange way, imagine living without electricity for 4 hours everyday...what will you do? i couldn't imagine it too, until i received this new "SCHEDULE" of electricity!! yup, they will cut the electricity in these hot days according to a schedule, imagine that!!

I didn't care at the beginning, i thought : "ah, at last, i'll be forced to do some tasks and chores that i've been pushing away and postponing all through the week".. but when the moment of truth came, i felt as if i couldn't breathe, as if even air is generated by electricity :( didn't know how to do anything, my whole life depends on electricity... TV, radio, washing machine, microwave, iron, vacuum cleaner.... and most important of all... my computer....

was walking around the house, tidying up, nothing big, when the electricity suddenly died, i freezed, as if a part of me died . i looked around in denial, trying to convince myself that the bulb has burnt out or something, but it really was the electricity.. i stopped doing anything and threw myself on the couch, counting seconds until the electricity comes again... funny how you can't even do anything without electricity...


My poor son is also a tv addict, specially the Tom and Jerry show, he can't live without it, if it's not on tv, it's on the dvd, if it's not, then it's on the computer, over and over and over again, so when the electricity dies, he does nothing but cry, so i downloaded a couple of shows on my mobile phone, just to shut him up...

We've been escaping this hot weather the last couple of days by (image) going to outdoor restaurants so raed can play a bit.. cuz, in gaza, there are no parks or large green landscapes where children can play, the only place available is the street, and there's no way that my son will grow up to be a street boy...

still trying to find something useful to keep myself busy... hope that this "schedual" won't last for a long time.... cuz i'm scheduling my life according to it :(

It's ture... ;)


I got this e-mail from a dear friend... and it really made me laugh my head off ... :)

here it is :

What they really mean......
9 Words Women Use

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying $%#@ YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true

wish that you liked it........ i did :)

Forgetful's day out


Forgetting things is one of my best qualities .. he he he... I should be named "FORGETFUL" after that silly old puppet on sesame street.yesterday my husband said dreamily.. " ah.. how about making us ladies fingers "or okra" for lunch..", "but we don't have any" were the words that were coming out from my mouth..." but i twisted it to "but we... didn't eat spaghetti for a long time.."... i suddenly remembered something about him bringing me "ladies fingers"or "okra" a week ago or so...I waited for him to leave and rushed to the fridge, and there it was, a small plastic bag wrapped tightly in the bottom shelf of the fridge, left all alone in the corner, i opened it with my eyes tightly closed, "i hope it's still good, i hope so, please GOD, pleeaaaaasssssee"....... but "BLACK" is the only thing i saw, black mushy ecky stuff, i was completely disappointed, but NOP, will NOT despair..Today i found some free time at work and ran to the nearby fruit and veges shop, "Ammo Imad" or "Uncle Imad" in English, it's my first time ever to enter a green shop ever since coming to gaza, my husband does all the shopping!!i was really glad to see all these types of locally planted fruits and veges, they are so beautiful and ripe, so green and nice, specially the mango, it was sitting there with it's beautiful color and gorgeous smell, i just wanted to eat it.. all of it... ' i would have, but my friend was holding me tightly... he he hei bought the okra and left the shop, feeling so happy and proud at the same time.. proud of our local production, i believe that it can compete the production of the first world countries despite all the surrounding circumstances and restrains that directly effect our production and the bad conditions that our farmers suffer from, and also proud of myself for two completely different reasons, one: escaping the blame of letting the okra rotten in the fridge and second for depending on myself and entering a green shop for the first time in my life :)by the way, lunch was just perfect... he didn't notice ;) [...]

The impossible


here we go again... looks like happiness or even what is so called "normal life" is an impossible dream for us in palestine and specially in Gaza... :( there has been an Israeli incursion to our neighbourhood last week, which resulted in 11 martyrs, all of them are under 25 years old, just young men, who haven't even started their lives yet...

Imagine, 11 grieving families, 11 grieving mothers..... loosing a son is so hard, it's devastating... my sister lost her 4 months little boy 2 years ago, and is still suffering till now.... so how will a mother who has raised a son for over 20 years, and saw him growing day after day in front of her eyes,nursing him, feeding him, taking care of him for 2 decades.. and suddenly.. he is's really unbearable.
As a neighbour in a small and limited society like Gaza, you must at least know one of them, and sadly i did... my friend's brother died... he is just 22 years old, i went and tried to offer her some kind of support, but she was a wreck, i tried to feel her pain, but i couldn't... i have a brother who lives in England, and just the thought of loosing him drives me crazy, and it's been now 8 years since i last saw him... so how will she feel... living with him all day, talking to him, sharing him his dreams and thoughts?!
All this is happening while we are still fighting... who is Fatah and who is Hamas, still pointing fingers and looking for someone to blame.. still throwing accusations here and there... i'm trying to put some sense into what i'm going through right now... but nothing comes across my troubled mind but "madness".... complete and absolute "madness"...

Alan Johnston


Today I woke up at this wonderful news... at last and after 115 days of abduction.. Alan Johnston was finally freed :)..."i am so glad to be free" was his first words to the media, the poor man didn't even have the slightest hope that he will ever be freed..The situation in Gaza was so tensed the last couple of days, as there were small and limited clashed between what is called "Army of Islam" -which is a name taken for a powerful clan here in Gaza, Dughmush clan- and Hamas Executive Force... which led to the arrest of some of the people involved in Alan's abduction...Alan appeared to be fine, but he has lost a lot of weight, he has stated that he had the opportunity to see his hair longer than usual :), it's good to see that he still has a little sense of humor left... specially after being imprisoned in a little dungeon for over 4 months and specially after being photographed with an exclusive belt wrapped all around him. "The last 16 weeks have been the very worst of my life," he said. "I was in the hands of people who were dangerous and unpredictable.""I literally dreamt many times of being free and always woke up back in that room." these were his words in a press conference alongside Hanyia this morning.After being freed, he was taken to Haniya's house, where they stayed for about an hour, then he headed home, where he collected his belongings..I just got the news that Alan has left Gaza and heading home, he has stated that he will take a LONG vacation, and then he maybe consider coming back to Gaza... personally, I don't think he will ever come back ;)The details of the deal that led to freeing Alan weren't announced, maybe they will be announced later, but what really matters is that the reporter is now heading home, with a little smile on his face, waiting to see his family and loved onesFinally Alan, your dreams will come true... take care and goodbye ;)[...]

A trip to the beach


Yesterday was a very hot day, and for our unfortunate luck, the electricity power was off our neighbourhood, so we decided to spend the day at the beach... so, after coming back from work, I prepared everything we needed in a blink, extra clothes, snacks, towels and raed's toys.... and off we went at about 5:00 p.m...We imagined that the beach will be empty, as we are in the middle of the week, it's Monday, i thought, but we were shock to find the beach full of hundreds and hundred of families, who had nothing to do but to try to forget their terrible life, and desperately try to shake away all the memories of the last couple of weeks.... really tragic memories... and now after Hamas taking over Gaza, no one even goes to work, only NGOs are the active institutes here in Gaza...So, we sat our tent, the sun was so hot, and my son yelled in happiness... "Mama.. gonna swim..... in the sand" my son *cough* chicken *cough* doesn't even dare to come close to the sea, he is so afraid of it... he thinks that there is a big fish waiting to eat him... I looked at my husband and he looked back at me, we both had the same devilish idea in our minds in the same time, so, i grabbed "raed" from one hand and his father from the other and ran to the sea... we tossed him away and "SPLASH"... I ran to grab him... and it was a BIG surprise when i found him laughing and saying "AGAIN... DAD... AGAIN"... it is the first time ever for raed to enter the sea...I also had my first golden opportunity to have a small dip in the sea, it's the first time for me since coming to Gaza before 7 years... i really had great fun splashing around and playing with my son and husband.... :)Me and raed went on a quest to find the perfect shell, but there wasn't a shell that was that perfect, but we were lucky to find a little tiny winy crab... raed was sooooo happy to see a crab... he ran after it, chasing it from here to there, when suddenly i heard that beautiful gentle sound, i looked around, searching.... and there he was, a complete stranger walking on the shore playing his flute in a way that can't be described by anything less than "magical" specially with the sound of the waves in the background...we left at sunset.... i really had a good time....raed did too, it was a trip that's full of first times.. raed's first time to have a swim in the sea... and my first time in Gaza too.[...]

Suffering at Rafah Crossing...


A 31 year old palestinian mother passed away today after being stranded in the Egyptian side of Egypt - Gaza border (Rafah Crossing) for more than 20 days. The poor woman (a mother of 5) was suffering from cancer, and went to Egypt seeking medication, as Gaza is very poor with medical expertise. Her parents and family are calling all medias so they can receive her body and give her a proper burial...More than 6 thousand palestinians are stranded in Egypt, waiting to get back for their families and homes, in very difficult conditions, the weather is so hot, that the temperature exceeds 40 degrees, and some of these people haven't any money left, a palestinian father had to sell the presents he bought for his children in order to pay for the hotel's charges. Another palestinian ran out of money and is spending his nights in coffee shops or wondering around to find a proper place to shut his eyes, even for just a couple of hours..Travelling is a pleasure all over the world, but here, in Gaza, it's a journey of agony, fear and pain... nobody dares to leave the strip but in extreme conditions such as medication and education... A friend of mine is absent from work for over 3 weeks now, i thought that she was on leave, and was so concerned about her long absence... it appeared that she is stranded too at Rafah Crossing, she went to have a laser surgery in Egypt.. wonder what is she doing now. Nobody even tried to put himself in the shoes of these people, having to wait for days and days so you can go back home for your wife and children, where there are no lobbies or rest points, you have to stand in the middle of the street or set on the side of the pavement, under the steaming sun... but the Egyptians were thankful to give the palestinians some camps... don't want to talk about that, because it really is humiliating... The sad thing is that these thousands of palestinians didn't matter enough for the Arabic World or the Global community to even mention there suffering and try even a little to solve their problem... There is nothing left to say, if you want to know more news about these poor people go to[...]

a tidy house...


a tidy house means a broken computer!! i read this phrase somewhere while digging here and there in the net... didn't believe it back then, i remember i had this silly grinn on my face when i read it, i was convincing myself that I don't have enough time to tidy up properly cuz of work and my demanding little devil "raed".. but looks like it was true after all... I've been facing some probs with my PC until it collapsed completely :( it's been just two days now and i don't know what to do.. i finally found a LOT of free time!! have i been spending my day on the computer? i really can't belive it.. i finally had the chance to iron that HUGE pile of clothes that was hiding in the corner of my room.. my husband couldn't stop giggling when he saw me ironing.. he said "no enough time, huh?"... i also had time to play with raed with his new toy "fishing", and believe it or not, at 6:00 p.m. i was bored.. for the first time for weeks.. even years.. me.. bored.. so, is the computer an addiction? does the computer have that magic that can steal all this time from us and from our lives? also from the lives of the people we love? I decided to make a move and stop spending THAT much time on the computer, so i googled and this is what i found: "an article talking about spending less time on your computer" and here it is "in red": This article will explain how you can stop spending time on the computer and get out and see the world, instead of being cramped up inside all the time. This however will take time and perhaps money. Steps Start slowly. You can't go from spending 6-8 hours on the computer to spending 1-2 hours a day. Find something else to do. If you don't have a hobby or an activity you enjoy, try something new. A few ideas other than music and sports are: volunteering, drawing, creating collages, 4-wheeling, reading/writing, walking around town, hiking, photography, boating/seadoos, and paintball. (non of these are available in Gaza, except for reading and writing, there is no natural surrounding so you can go for a walk or hiking or what ever, and also you can't go boating, that's for sure, our boats can hardly fish!!Check the local paper for activities and events that you might be interested in. (he he he.. events.. here? in Gaza? that's a joke) Limit your time on the computer.(OK, that's our main target.. but how CAN we do it?) If you have a hard time with it, get someone to put a password on your computer and have them type the password in for you when it is your allowed time on the computer . ( Yeah, maybe i'll strangle this someone.. it's MY pc?!)Another option is to get rid of the Internet and use a local library or cap site for your Internet. ( What? me? loose my connection? are they mad?) Instead of using Instant Messengers, just call.(OK.. but instant messaging is CHEAPER.. naa it's FREE) Tips: Not spending a lot of time on the computer has many benefits, for example, it will improve your posture. Warnings: Don't try to go cold turkey!! It has to be a gradual process. --- Stop Spending Too Much Time Online. The Internet can be a valuable resource for education and fun, but how much is too much? Why can't people stop? Here are some tips to help you quit staring at the computer screen and get out and do something productive. (i.e. ironing and playing with ur kidz) Steps Monitor the time you spend on the computer each day. Try setting an alarm for one or two hours and take a break. ( i already have a break each time my son wants me to switch the channel or look for "TOM & JERRY" or taking him to [...]

أنت منذ الآن.... غيرك لمحمود درويش


أنت منذ الآن غيرك هل كان علينا أن نسقط من عُلُوّ شاهق، ونرى دمنا على أيدينا...لنُدْرك أننا لسنا ملائكة.. كما كنا نظن؟ وهل كان علينا أيضاً أن نكشف عن عوراتنا أمام الملأ، كي لا تبقى حقيقتنا عذراء؟ كم كَذَبنا حين قلنا: نحن استثناء! أن تصدِّق نفسك أسوأُ من أن تكذب على غيرك! أن نكون ودودين مع مَنْ يكرهوننا، وقساةً مع مَنْ يحبّونَنا - تلك هي دُونيّة المُتعالي، وغطرسة الوضيع! أيها الماضي! لا تغيِّرنا... كلما ابتعدنا عنك! أيها المستقبل: لا تسألنا: مَنْ أنتم؟وماذا تريدون مني؟ فنحن أيضاً لا نعرف. أَيها الحاضر! تحمَّلنا قليلاً، فلسنا سوى عابري سبيلٍ ثقلاءِ الظل! الهوية هي: ما نُورث لا ما نَرِث. ما نخترع لا ما نتذكر. الهوية هي فَسادُ المرآة التي يجب أن نكسرها كُلَّما أعجبتنا الصورة! تَقَنَّع وتَشَجَّع، وقتل أمَّه.. لأنها هي ما تيسَّر له من الطرائد.. ولأنَّ جنديَّةً أوقفته وكشفتْ له عن نهديها قائلة: هل لأمِّك، مثلهما؟ لولا الحياء والظلام، لزرتُ غزة، دون أن أعرف الطريق إلى بيت أبي سفيان الجديد، ولا اسم النبي الجديد! ولولا أن محمداً هو خاتم الأنبياء، لصار لكل عصابةٍ نبيّ، ولكل صحابيّ ميليشيا! أعجبنا حزيران في ذكراه الأربعين: إن لم نجد مَنْ يهزمنا ثانيةً هزمنا أنفسنا بأيدينا لئلا ننسى! مهما نظرتَ في عينيّ.. فلن تجد نظرتي هناك. خَطَفَتْها فضيحة! قلبي ليس لي... ولا لأحد. لقد استقلَّ عني، دون أن يصبح حجراً. هل يعرفُ مَنْ يهتفُ على جثة ضحيّته - أخيه: >الله أكبر< أنه كافر إذ يرى الله على صورته هو: أصغرَ من كائنٍ بشريٍّ سويِّ التكوين؟ أخفى السجينُ، الطامحُ إلى وراثة السجن، ابتسامةَ النصر عن الكاميرا. لكنه لم يفلح في كبح السعادة السائلة من عينيه. رُبَّما لأن النصّ المتعجِّل كان أَقوى من المُمثِّل. ما حاجتنا للنرجس، ما دمنا فلسطينيين. وما دمنا لا نعرف الفرق بين الجامع والجامعة، لأنهما من جذر لغوي واحد، فما حاجتنا للدولة... ما دامت هي والأيام إلى مصير واحد؟. لافتة كبيرة على باب نادٍ ليليٍّ: نرحب بالفلسطينيين العائدين من المعركة. الدخول مجاناً! وخمرتنا... لا تُسْكِر!. لا أستطيع الدفاع عن حقي في العمل، ماسحَ أحذيةٍ على الأرصفة. لأن من حقّ زبائني أن يعتبروني لصَّ أحذية ـ هكذا قال لي أستاذ جامعة!. أنا والغريب على ابن عمِّي. وأنا وابن عمِّي على أَخي. وأَنا وشيخي عليَّ. هذا هو ال[...]

Conspiracy Theory?!


After a bloody week in Gaza, I finally got the chance to go back to work, didn't take the bus, as i was supposed to, i preferred taking a cab, so i can take my time in observing what had happened... i was really shocked by the amount of destruction all around the city.. beautiful buildings were damaged by the gunfire and bombs, the Preventive Security Center was a disaster, it was completely destroyed and burnt up, looted till the last thing in it, even the ATM was taken?! is this the liberty that we are seeking?

Even at work, things aren't the same anymore.. everybody is talking about politics, everybody is analyzing, building probabilities and assumptions based on what is said and what is heard.. in every office you can find employees that promote one of the fighting factions, so the smallest thing can trigger a big fight.. which makes the working day even more difficult for everyone.

But, what did REALLY happen? i wonder...

Was the authority so blind and naive that it didn't see Hamas preparing to seize Gaza? or was Hamas drawn to a big trap that was set from the Authority and Israel? why? to sack Hamas from the government i think...

was Iran responsible for what happened either in Gaza, Lebanon or even Iraq so everybody will keep preoccupied with the M.E. and Iran can continue with it's nuclear programme?!

was the whole thing a big charade, and both Hamas and Fatah collaborated together to deceive innocent people like us so Hamas can justify accepting negotiations with Israel?!

Too many theories but no one really knows what did really happen... but we all know one thing, that it's not over yet, it's still the beginning... beginning of what, nobody knows exactly.. too many roomers and too many assumptions, some are built on facts and some are just lies..

But there are some facts... that indicate that a disaster is coming on the way:-

there are no portals either from or to Gaza, Israel has approved to supply Gaza with the MINIMUM requirements of both electricity and water, every Palestinian that holds a western passport left Gaza in buses, Abbas ruled out dialogue with Hamas...

So, in the end we can only keep our fingers crossed and hope for the better.. i hope!!

Frustration :(


Didn't want anything to do with what is happening today here in Gaza, so, i woke up, prepared breakfast for me and my son "Raed", and refused to hear anything about the on-going fights, ENOUGH, i thought, i'm exhausting myself with all this devastating news and events, and i'm not gonna tolerate it anymore!!! so i closed the windows, "no sun shine today" i thought, turned off the TV and grabbed my tape recorder and started listening to my dearest old pal, "Fairouz"...
why not have a normal life, is that too much to ask for? but NO, my husband refused but to tell me all about the latest events, the hottest clashes, and the most recent casualties..., i had this blank look at my face , i uttered some words and rushed to the kitchen where i cried like a baby..."raed" followed me and looked up at me with his big innocent blue eyes and said "mama, are you angry with me, i'm sorry mama.." and hugged me... i really needed that hug..everything have turned so cold so quickly, even if we are in the month of june, everything have turned gray, the sky, the roads, even the people.
I tried to keep a smile drawn at my face all the day long, i tried to convince myself that things will turn out to the best, I tried to cope with the bitter fact, until it was dawn, when a Fatah activist was killed, dunno how, dunno why, but the horrifying thing is that he was tied from his legs , after being killed, and dragged through the streets of the camp!! they were shouting through microphones celebrating his death, that is when i hit my rock bottom...How can anyone kill anybody with cold blood and then drag his corpse through the streets?! have we reached THAT limit? haven't we got any mercy in our hearts towards each others? i really don't know what to say.. i'm speechless :(

FrOm GaZa


Have we reached the point of Civil War, have we reached the place where there's no way back, or is there still a little window of hope opened some where for the two factions to bridge their differences?! I hope..

Today at dawn, the Imam of the near by mosque burst into tears, no one attended the dawn prayer, not even one muslim, everybody was scared to leave their houses... this is how bad the situation is here in Gaza, it's been four days now, the sounds of gunshots and bomb shelling haven't stopped, and still, there are no signs of any settlements, not even an unstable one..
Everybody is thinking about leaving gaza, looks like things are gonna stay this way for a while, a looong while i think :(, i chatted with a number of friends all over the strip, and they are all considering the idea of leaving gaza, the thought have never left my mind, as i don't carry a palestinian ID, i have a 2 year Jordanian passport, which makes leaving Gaza to Jordan a possibility, but my husband refuses the idea of denying his historical right in Palestine...but i'm afraid that there may be a day when leaving Gaza is a must not an option.

I thank God that we haven't been directly damaged by the ongoing fights, as the flames haven't reached the middle refugee camps, where I live, and I pray for those who are stuck in the middle of the fights... Hope that Allah may have his Mercy upon us...

my first post


hip hip hooray.. at last, i had the enough courage to write my first post in my own very special blog, really dunno what to talk about exactly, too many things on my mind, but yet, nothing to write about, so i decided to write a bit about every thing... Gonna tell you a bit about the most important person in my life, my 2 year old son, Raed, or "batta" as i like to call him :), he is the only reason why i'm still fighting and struggling here in Gaza, he draws a smile on my face in the middle of all the madness going around over herethere is nothing more fun than being a mother, even if you are a working mother, as i am, cuz you are given a chance to create your own human, with all your ideal thoughts and dreams, yes he is an independent charecter, but you have the greatest influence on his additude, actions, morals... everything you can ever think of.. there are ofcourse some bad or even "dark" days when you curse the day you thought of even having a baby :), but at the end of the day, when your son lays between you arms and asks you to tell him a story and draws that angelic smile on his face... well... you really can't imagine your life with out him...looks like motherhood is gonna take a big space of my blog, but what the heck... i love being raed's mom... ha ha hathe next thing that i can't help NOT mentioning is the situation here in Gaza, things over here tend to change rapidly from bad to worse, never allowing it to get better, but no one has an idea who to blame, both parties "Fatah" & "Hamas" are liying, both of them are committing crimes, and both of them are leading us to distruction... unfortunately, no solution is appearing in the horizon :( which keeps us "the people" trapped in the middle.... so staying at home is the best solution for now.To step out of misory, lets talk about my most beloved hobby... COOKING.. i love to cook, all types of food, today i made "Maklooba", which is well known for us the Palestinians... YUM O... gonna write the recipe later...That's all for now, gonna write soon Insha'llah...Dew ;)[...]