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Preview: Welcome to the Netherworld

Encyclopedia Netherworld



Learn all about the crazy people, places and things which are part of the Netherworld!



Updated: 2017-10-06T13:43:04.985-06:00

 



Netherworld Scientists: Miggs Monkey

2012-07-26T23:06:47.670-06:00

Miggs Monkey is Dr. Schitz' new lab assistant. He is taking over while the doctor, Nurse Violent, Dr. Daria, and Cpl. Dietrich are in the future, fucking things up big time for the evil, evil Weyland Yutani corporation. If you have any pressing medical needs, Dahling, I'd ask for Dr. House.
--Tempest LeTrope
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Post 101: Bug Busters Official Report

2012-07-21T16:53:34.554-06:00

Ellen Ripley, President of Bug Busters, and her crew(Burke is a Bug who was recently busted. They took no chances insuring that he would get to Arkham Asylum, where he belongs.*)Bug Busters Quarterly Reportby Ellen Ripley, PresidentFirst of all, I would like to start this report by refuting the implication that Bug Busters has become simply private security for Death Cheese. That may be where we get the most Quatloos from. It may be the place we are most recognizable. But we are independent contractors, not employees of the Death Cheese Franchise. Bug Busters is a security and exploration force, which takes on the task of investigating, securing, and/or eliminating obnoxious life (and unlife) forms. Although Burke is still alive, so I guess we kind of failed at that task. But he's locked up in Arkham Asylum, which Chief Jerry assures me he will never sweet talk his way out of. He will be cleaning latrines in the Devil's lavatory for the next 666 years. I guess it will have to do.We started our company with the ideal of stomping Bug butt. We came to the Netherworld with a huge hatred of Xenomorphs. But as Science Specialist Annalee Call has explained to us, the Xenomorphs in the Netherworld are different. They do not live with the motivation to use everything else that exists as a host to gestate their disgusting larvae. They live to party. This new breed of Xenomorphs lay their eggs in a warm place like crocodiles or other lizards, and the eggs then hatch the normal way. Cuzzin Hildy-Bob says the things really seem to like the manure piles on the various farms in Ruralia County. That must be why they smell so good.(Where the hell is the Sarcasm icon on this archaic keyboard? I must bring this up at the next Curmudgeon's Club meeting!)So, as my husband Dwayne Hicks (our esteemed C.E.O.) mentioned in his interview with A Fungus From Yuggoth (I'm just glad UNDEAD didn't send that slag Lyanne Sakks to interview him, and if that wench doesn't stop leering at his package every time she sees him, she and I are gonna tangle. Lyanne, his eyes are in his face, not his groin, you hussy.) Netherworld xenomorphs really, really, REALLY like Death Cheese, and a big part of our job is making sure they don't wreak too much havoc at Death Cheese shows. They get drunk and high and stagger around spilling toxic waste on other concert-goers and it turns into a real ugly mess. And just in case you think we've gone soft and our job has become easy, well, you've not yet seen a Xenomorph mosh pit.All right, that's about it for this report. We have to get over to Ugly Grace's, where Burke's recent kidnapping victim Quinn Morgendorffer will make her announcement for her dating reality show, Who Will Win Quinn, and Death Cheese will play afterwards. That place is always crawling with Bugs these days.I guess I'm supposed to post a list of our current executives and staff. I really need to hire a secretary to do this shit for me, but nobody is willing to take the low wages that we're able to pay.By the way, the executives in our company do not sit back and let the staff do all the work. We're out there busting bug butt along with the rest of them!Bug Busters is a company that may not pay well because Axe Man spends all Death Cheese's money on Shine, groupies, and the latest video games, which means there isn't a lot left over to pay the band's long-suffering manager, The Cheesemeister, or their roadies or ass kicking security contractors. But we sure as hell love what we do!Ellen RipleyPresident, Bug Busters ServicesBUG BUSTERS PERSONNELEllen Ripley, PresidentAl Apone, Vice PresidentDwayne Hicks, Chief Executive OfficerWilliam Gorman, Public Relations OfficerBishop, Lead Science OfficerAnnalee Call, Science OfficerColette Ferro, Lead PilotDaniel Spunkmeyer, Co-PilotCynthia Dietrich, Lead MedicBug Busting SquadTip CroweMark DrakeRicco FrostWilliam HudsonJenette VasquezTrevor Wierzbowski*To see the story of Burke's busting as well as our other Fanfic Mashups, please leave your email addy in the comments. We're bein[...]



Netherworld Military Personnel: Colonial Marines: Cpl. Dwayne Hicks

2012-06-24T01:27:22.925-06:00

Colonial Marine Corporal Dwayne Hicks, seen here with Lt. Ellen Ripley, Pvt. William Hudson, Bishop the Synthetic, and little Rebecca "Newt" JordenNetherworld Military Personnel: Colonial MarinesCorporal Dwayne Hicksby A Fungus From YuggothCorporal Dwayne Hicks is a member of the Earth Colonial Marines organization. He came from a future time in an alternate reality, which, in his words, "pretty well sucked sweaty, unwashed balls." He was born in 2151 C.E. in Sol System, Earth, United States, Alabama, Auburn, at Tommy Tuberville Memorial Hospital. He is described by his wife as speaking with a "gosh-darn cute Southern accent."Cpl. Hicks is an intelligent, sweet-natured thirty-year old human male. In spite of his generally genial personality, he is prone to fits of snark, and has shown early onset curmudgeon tendencies from being exposed to such a lousy reality in his previous life.A happy at last Dwayne Hicks and Ellen Ripley cut the wedding cake donated to them by Netherworld Baker Extraordinaire, Dirty SanchezCorporal Hicks is married to Lieutenant Ellen Ripley, who was caught in the Vortex of Vaguery with him for 666 years before it opened into the Netherworld. After coming out of Hypersleep and realizing that they and Newt, the sole survivor of the LV-426 disaster, were indeed alive, Hicks said these romantic words to his future mate."Ripley...uh...Ellen, I love you. Do you want to be engaged or something?""No, I want to be married or something. We've waited long enough," she said."When you're caught in a Vortex of Vaguery having shitty dreams for more than six and a half centuries, life is too short to delay your damn happiness!" the couple says.Corporal Hicks was injured by the acid blood of one of the Xenomorphs on LV-426. Thanks to the surgical wizardry of Dr. Schitz, Dr. Quincy, and Bishop the Synthetic, he was up and ready to get hitched just 66 minutes after checking in at Hell's Pass Hospital. Bishop, who was torn in half by an Alien Queen, was put back together by Gomer Pyle, who seems to have done a fairly good job. "So far, I haven't fallen to pieces in the middle of the street. That's a good sign," Bishop says. The cake that Dirty Sanchez was working on was for a zombie wedding, but he altered it quickly."Ripley and Hicks seem like a kick-ass kind of couple. I can see them fighting zombies," the skeleton baker said.The witnesses at the wedding were Dr. Zoidberg and Harry Potter, who happened to be having lunch at Dirty Sanchez and Pasta Fazool's bistro and bakery when Rev. Reptile came over asking if Dirty Sanchez could come up with a wedding cake and quick for a couple who had been stuck in "some kind of space limbo" for 666 years.Dr. Zoidberg ate the sugar business card which Dirty Sanchez placed beside the cake. It read "best of luck from your pals at Dirty Sanchez and Pasta Fazool's Bistro and Bakery." Which was either kind of a tacky attempt to drum up business, or smart sales savvy.(the picture of the cake was found here, and was an actual wedding cake for a couple of zombie movie fans!)Rebecca "Newt" Jorden, wearing her adoptive father's helmetCorporal Hicks is the proud adoptive father of a daughter, Rebecca Jorden Ripley-Hicks, better known as Newt. Newt's family members were killed in the LV-426 massacre.A Predalien, heading for a Death Cheese showCorporal Hicks says that he believes in tolerance and having a live and let live attitude."Except for those fucking Xenomorph assholes. They need to fucking die, die, die, and then they need to die again!" he snarls. "I hate those bastards with the fiery passion of a lava pit on a red giant star."The Xenomorphs in the Netherworld are a bit different than the ones that Hicks is used to dealing with. They are mostly obnoxious pains in the ass who like playing practical jokes and who are obsessive fans of Death Cheese. They did not endear themselves to Hicks or Ripley when they terrorized the couple on their wedding night. Hicks is also not fond of the Predators, whom he refers to as a [...]



Jane's Netherworld Sketches: Brittany's Technical Confusion

2012-06-19T07:28:13.120-06:00

So, I drew this quickie doodle of my sis-in-law Daria trying to explain the meaning of a common Internet abbreviation to our dippy friend Brittany Taylor while we waited for Trent's shift to end at Nervous Norvis' Cafè. Brittany was a cheerleader when we were in high school, and now she runs an aerobics studio. Her hubby Kevin Thompson turned out to be gay, and then he was turned into a zombie after being killed in a car crash. Brittany is hoping to one day have her own reality show like Quinn's so she can choose a new man.
--Jane Lane

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Netherworld Heights Elementary School: Kindergarten

2012-06-14T20:30:47.385-06:00

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The Netherworld Heights Elementary School is a place of diversity and tolerance. Just look at these three kiddies from the kindergarten, playing together at recess. Isn't that sweet? I do so love it when everyone can just get along!
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Hell

2012-01-19T01:46:20.138-07:00

Hell is the biggest metropolitan area in the Netherworld and all roads lead to Hell. You just can't miss it!
--
Your fiends at Mapquest Netherworld
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The Netherworld Ambulance Crew

2011-03-26T01:25:03.201-06:00

When people get hurt, they depend on the Netherworld Ambulance Crew to transport them quickly to Hell's Pass Hospital and Research Center. Now it's time we met these unsung heroes and those nearest and dearest to them! Here's paramedic Cokey LeSnort as he looked in his senior photograph in 1982 Here's Cokey LeSnort with his cat, Bud Here's EMT Pot Head and his cat, Smokey This is Cokey LeSnort's sister and Pot Head's wife, Coca LeSnort-HeadHere's an adorable young Pot HeadHere's Cokey LeSnort and his son, LinusHere's Cokey LeSnort, his wife, tennis pro Hitya Ballzak, and their daughter CocoHere's Hitya Ballzak, ready for actionHere's EMT and ambulance driver Speedy McLudeHere's Speedy McLude's wife Tokkin Uppsala, who is from Sweden and may be a cousin of The Spooky GuyHere's a young Speedy McLude, back in 1981Here's Speedy and Tokkin's cat, SmokitHere's Speedy and Tokkin's son, ZippoHere's dispatcher Duuuuuuude's high school photo. It was taken, like, 1984, or something.Duuuuuuude's dogDuuuuuuude's frogDuuuuuuude's kittenHere's the Duuuuuude we know and love today, celebrating with Kizz Myass on the famed leprechaun reporter's birthday[...]



Netherworld Handicapped Parking Signs

2011-01-02T03:02:55.534-07:00


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Netherworld Clubs: Dungeons and Dragons Club at the Netherworld Hotel

2010-12-27T03:07:26.555-07:00

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How Pasta Fazool Came to the Netherworld

2010-12-06T01:14:24.763-07:00

Famed Netherworld Cuisine-Artist Pasta Fazool was once as fleshy as you or I. But he was also extremely lazy. He sat around watching cooking shows all day long and getting hungrier and hungrier, but was unmotivated to get off his couch. After three weeks straight of not rising from his favorite cushy sofa, he died. The rest of his family was lazy too and didn't think to check on him until three months had passed by. By that time he was a skeleton. Seeing what laziness had done for him, Pasta Fazool resolved never to be such a layabout again. On the positive side, watching all those cooking shows made him become a really superb chef, although his creations tend to have gassy after-effects!
Pasta Fazool is the domestic partner of Skeleton Baker Extraordinaire, Dirty Sanchez.


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Reality Teevee Stars: Snooki

2010-10-15T01:13:28.197-06:00

The Snooki is a horrific thing from the horrific "Reality" Teevee program, Jersey Shore. Here she is seen in her true form.

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Watch the full (hilarious) episode here!

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Netherworld Curmudgeons: Grumpy Worm

2010-07-25T00:29:04.684-06:00

Famed Netherworld personal trainer Grumpy Worm glares at a client and orders her to "work harder, you lazy slob!" His next client stares in horror at the fate that awaits her while his assistant shines a spotlight for the crew filming his latest video "Grumpy Works the Flab off Your Fat, Lazy Ass."

 Grumpy Worm: The Toughest Personal Trainer In the Nine Hells
by Yam Man
Grumpy Worm is the personal trainer to end all personal trainers and is a charter member of the Curmudgeon's Club.
"All my clients are lazy slobs," groans Grumpy Worm. "Human, demon, talking animal, it doesn't matter. I have to hover over them to make them work it. Everyone wants to be able to have their cake and eat it too. Well, if you want abs as hard as Bald Mountain and buns of osmium, you are going to have to work it till it burns like the fires of hell! I don't allow any slacking from the slackers!"
Grumpy Worm puts the "work" in workout. And lest you think he's a flabby crawler, he is a worm whose segments are hard as diamond. 
"I work myself twice as hard as I work my clients," Grumpy growls. "My only fault is being too easy on all you whiners. I need to start working you all even harder--to the power of 666! It's the only way the Netherworld will ever be filled with hard bodies instead of droopy demons, hefty humans, gargantuan ghouls, and flabby fairies!"
I've started working out with Grumpy and he really is a slave driver. But it will be worth it when the babes get a load of my Abs of Osmium!
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Mickey Mouse Ghostbuster Service

2010-06-09T15:51:13.427-06:00

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Some of the old school residents of the Netherworld Hotel play a prank on Mickey, Donald, and Goofy. It seems that being dead makes one terribly obnoxious!
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Netherworld Civic Organizations: The Douchebag Club

2010-05-25T03:40:31.278-06:00

The Douchebag Club meets every Saturday afternoon to go pub and titty bar hopping, to dis all the women who reject their douchetastic pickup moves, and to generally make life or unlife miserable for other Netherworld residents. Go douchebags! Go...away! Far, far away!
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0 Comments

2010-04-30T08:22:50.846-06:00

wilmasnoops For those who missed the link, please enjoy the Wilma Snoops story here: http://ping.fm/aXMTT(image)



Prime Minister McDonald's Offspring

2010-04-17T09:15:49.476-06:00

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Ronika

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Ronald-San

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Netherworld Hotel Residents: Jasper the Douchebag Ghost

2010-03-12T17:34:30.576-07:00

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Kudzu Kidz Xmahannukwanzyule Pic

2010-02-07T08:28:18.690-07:00


Vice President Flowering Kudzu, known to some as "The Sarah Palin of the Netherworld," shared this pic of some of her older children posing with Santa at the Netherworld White House Xmahannukwanzyule celebration. How many do you think have Axe Man as a father?
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Cactus Dick

2010-01-23T09:42:12.980-07:00

Poor Cactus Dick is still a virgin. He has yet to find a woman who can or will brave his prickly pecker.
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Things You'll See at the Netherworld Hotel: Part I

2010-01-10T03:19:34.480-07:00

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Curmudgeon Welcome Mat
Isis the Pyro Kat


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Happy Wiener Hotties: Harry Gunns

2009-12-14T16:34:41.682-07:00

For you ladies who like 'em wild and hairy and a little teddy-beary but with a dangerous edge, Harry's your man!
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Mystic Xenia's Fish

2009-11-15T02:35:00.665-07:00

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MYSTICARP SEES ALL!
Mysticarp is the brother of The Holy Carp, associate pastor at the Any Faith Will Do Church. These are a couple of really cool fish who are in touch with the mind of the Universe, even if some seem to think they are all wet.
--Buzzin
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Haunted Suite

2009-11-15T02:29:22.374-07:00

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A night at the Netherworld Hotel can be a nervewracking experience, and not just because of the giant bed bugs. There are plenty of poltergeists hanging around that are a lot more rude than your more polite (if foul-mouthed) ghosts like The Spooky Guy and Quorthon. These lewd spectres won't hesitate to pinch you in the privates while you're trying to get some rest!
--Lyanne Sakks

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Helpful Inventions: the Vacuum Fish

2009-11-08T14:17:07.390-07:00

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The amazing Vacuum Fish

Dr. Schitz combined the DNA of the Lutefiskies with molecules from a vacuum cleaner and created the Vacuum Fish. These fish, when introduced to polluted bodies of water, gleefully suck up trash and debris. They seem to thrive when the melodic strains of Death Cheese are played near their work area. Way cool!
--Buzzoff
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Netherworld Executive Demon

2009-11-07T17:57:20.803-07:00

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