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Dave Barry's Blog





Published: 2017-01-17T13:47:39-05:00

 



CANADA TAKES A STAND

2017-01-17T13:47:39-05:00

According to a lawsuit, the building council claims that “that the word ‘Dick’ in Moby Dick was an offensive term" (Thanks to Peter [Ha!] Metrinko)



WHILE THE MEDIA CONTINUE TO BLATHER ABOUT THE RUSSIANS

2017-01-17T13:43:56-05:00

Who’s winning the cyber war? The squirrels, of course (Thanks to Sean T, Peter Metrinko, Bruce Pingree and Nancy Gill)



MEN:

2017-01-17T09:47:00-05:00

Do not click here. (Thanks to Patty Villanova)



WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST SHRED THE BILL OF RIGHTS

2017-01-17T09:45:46-05:00

Cooking squirrel with blowtorch costs woman's insurance $300K Autoplay. (Thanks to Dave N.)



CSI: MAIDSTONE, KENT

2017-01-17T09:44:15-05:00

Blow-up sex doll sparks murder alert after reports of 'body' floating in river (Thanks to Ralph)



FLORIDA WILDLIFE REPORT

2017-01-17T09:41:30-05:00

Yikes. This has been your Florida Wildlife Report. (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, Newtonian, John Gregg, Stephan Smith and A.C.)



HOOTERS

2017-01-16T16:24:02-05:00

Coastguards investigating 'cries for help' find two loved up owls instead (Thanks to Le Petomane)



WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR SPRINGSTEEN

2017-01-16T16:22:10-05:00

Jersey monitors threat from toxic sea lettuce fumes (Thanks to Jay Brandes)



O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL TO THE GLASGOW IKEA

2017-01-16T10:40:15-05:00

Shopper is stunned to spot the face of Jesus in one of the store's toilet doors (Thanks to Ralph)



ELSEWHERE DOWN UNDER

2017-01-16T10:38:08-05:00

DATING apps are fuelling rampant rates of sexual promiscuity, according to a leading Brisbane sexual health doctor who “quite frequently” treats patients who have sex with up to 10 people a day. (Thanks to Ross Couples)



APOCALYPSE UPDATE

2017-01-16T10:34:01-05:00

They arrested Perry Mason. (Thanks to funny man)



AUSTRALIA: LAND OF NATURAL WEIRDNESS

2017-01-16T10:32:23-05:00

Mysterious desert shrimp surfaces after deluge (Thanks to The Perts)



IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

2017-01-15T14:43:11-05:00

Naked man arrested after crashing car into house, punching trooper, telling cops he's Jesus Amazing Fact: Not Florida! Autoplay. (Thanks to Al Barkafski)



GUYS IN ACTION

2017-01-15T10:24:04-05:00

Man ends up setting his armpit on fire to impress his friends (Thanks to Ross Couples)



YUM II

2017-01-15T10:20:46-05:00

'Broquets' are flower arrangements made of beef jerky, because men are too manly for plants. (Thanks to Janice Gelb)



YUM

2017-01-15T10:18:02-05:00

Thanks to the addition of heme, an iron-rich molecule contained in blood (which the company produces in bulk using fermented yeast), it is designed to look, smell, sizzle and taste like a beef burger. (Thanks to Stan Ruth)



INCREDIBLY, DRUGS APPEAR TO HAVE BEEN INVOLVED

2017-01-14T13:31:50-05:00

Naked woman allegedly steals police truck, leads cops on hour-long chase Also incredibly, this did not happen in Florida. (Thanks to The Perts)



CAN JOURNALISM SINK ANY LOWER?

2017-01-14T13:28:58-05:00

We're thinking no. (Thanks to Ross Couples)



SHE HAD HER REASONS

2017-01-14T13:24:18-05:00

Woman drives SUV into a T-Mobile in Palm Springs Not California: Florida. (Thanks to Nancy Gill)



GUYS OF NATURE

2017-01-14T13:17:39-05:00

Randy tortoise fitted with a pair of wheels after sex sessions wore out his legs (Thanks to Ralph)