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Preview: Dave Barry's Blog

Dave Barry's Blog





Published: 2017-09-23T10:52:52-04:00

 



ACTUAL SLOGAN: 'MAKE NEW ORLEANS FUN AGAIN'

2017-09-23T10:52:52-04:00

New Orleans mayoral candidate Frank Scurlock accused of masturbating during Uber ride in California (Thanks to Jon Harris and Jeff Meyerson)



WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE... NO, ON SECOND THOUGHT, WE'RE GOOD

2017-09-23T10:46:47-04:00

Truck overturns in North Carolina, loses 44,000 pounds of vodka (Thanks to Jon Harris and Ralph)



FRANKLY WE'RE A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED

2017-09-23T10:45:45-04:00

Doomsday is not on Saturday after all (Thanks to Jon Harris)



NAME THAT CONTINENT!

2017-09-22T16:57:22-04:00

Deadly snake found slithering in couple's bed sheets (Thanks to Jon Harris, who says "This happens to my wife all the time, ba dum bump​.")



HIS SECOND DAY ON THE JOB

2017-09-22T16:53:35-04:00

Dump truck runs over worker inside of portable toilet (Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says "How was your day, dear?")



CANADA: LAND OF EXCITEMENT

2017-09-22T16:49:42-04:00

For the past few weeks, every day at the same time, around 1 p.m. — like clockwork, a chicken has been crossing the road on Main Street in Shediac, N.B., to go to the Tim Hortons, and its escapades aren't...



YOU KNOW WHO GAVE THE ORDER

2017-09-22T16:43:27-04:00

A hitchhiking raccoon hopped onto the hood of a Colorado Springs police officer’s large major accident van as he was driving to the scene of a car crash Wednesday night. (Thanks to Ron Weil)



TWO FLORIDA LICENSES ARE ON THE WAY

2017-09-22T16:17:25-04:00

Drunk man reportedly forced 8-year-old to chauffeur him around In That Case, Sir, You Are Free To Go: WPXI reported that police attempted to administer a sobriety test, but Cook was allegedly too drunk to finish it. (Thanks to Jeff...



TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

2017-09-22T13:34:55-04:00

During the volley of words, the man reportedly used the word "bro." Investigators said the neighbor became irate about being called bro by the victim. He shot the man in his leg just before 2 a.m. (Thanks to Dorkfish)



BECAUSE AIR TRAVEL WASN'T UNPLEASANT ENOUGH

2017-09-22T08:35:08-04:00

‘Unusual substance’ found in soap dispensers at a Detroit airport believed to be man’s bodily fluid (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)



AT THE UNITED NATIONS WITH THE KING HE WAS

2017-09-22T08:33:16-04:00

Saudi Textbook Withdrawn Over Image of Yoda With King (Thanks to Jon Harris)



THAT'S NEARLY A TWO-WEEK SUPPLY FOR THIS BLOG'S HOUSEHOLD

2017-09-22T08:31:17-04:00

Truck carrying 47,000 pounds of chocolate overturns (Thanks to Jon Harris)



BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

2017-09-22T06:11:10-04:00

The thong is dead. (Thanks to mezrap)



SOON WE WILL HAVE NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT

2017-09-21T16:16:47-04:00

Motorcyclist ticketed for wearing panda suit on highway (Thanks to Jon Harris)



ADVISORY

2017-09-21T15:58:31-04:00

Please Do Not Pet the Radioactive Puppies of Chernobyl (Thanks to Ron Weil, who says "I saw Radioactive Puppies of Chernobyl open for REO Speedwagon.")



O CANADA, DUDE

2017-09-21T15:51:56-04:00

Pot will be 'competitively priced' in Ontario: Gov't (Thanks to The Perts) An Ontario college is offering Canada's first ever post-graduate accreditation for growing weed. (Thanks to Rick Day)



THOSE THINGS SHOULD NOT BE SOLD WITHOUT A COOLING-OFF PERIOD

2017-09-21T15:32:46-04:00

Safeway employee beaten with baguette by Fremont man (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)



SPORTS UPDATE

2017-09-21T15:17:18-04:00

Really, that wasn’t my dildo This has been the Sports Update. (Thanks to mezrap)



DOESN'T EVERYONE?

2017-09-21T15:13:36-04:00

Why frogs turn yellow during group sex (Thanks to Tembo Samadi)



ADVISORY

2017-09-21T15:12:02-04:00

ATTENTION EVERYONE!!! For those of you driving on Chuckey Pike in Greene County: THIS IS A HALLOWEEN DECORATION! Do NOT call 911 reporting a dead body. Instead, congratulate the homeowner on a great display. (Thanks to Alan Dean and Ralph)