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Dave Barry's Blog





Published: 2017-08-22T14:51:52-04:00

 



IT WAS ASKING FOR IT

2017-08-22T14:51:52-04:00

Police say a Massachusetts man was arrested during a weekend festival after he attempted to punch a police horse in the face. (Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "But it worked for Mongo.") For you whippersnappers: Here's Mongo in action.



NEEDLESS TO SAY THEY'RE ORANGE

2017-08-22T14:48:58-04:00

German police seize 5,000 Trump-shaped ecstasy pills (Thanks to Bill Hudgins, Bill Carver and Jon Harris)



IT'S ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

2017-08-22T14:29:30-04:00

Dubai arrests man for hiding 5.7M pills in sheep intestines (Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says: "Ewe.")



HE WORE A WELDER'S MASK

2017-08-22T09:37:14-04:00

Car theft suspect pulls over to watch eclipse, gets arrested, deputies say (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)



PARENTHOOD

2017-08-22T06:14:12-04:00

Child locks mom out of car in Amherst, but after eating some pizza, lets her back in (Thanks to Ralph)



FORTUNATELY FOR HIM, THE FLORIDA LIMIT IS 18

2017-08-22T06:12:41-04:00

Drunken driver hit 17 cars in Osceola County while trying to park, FHP says (Thanks to B'game and Ralph)



IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE A CHILD SHOWS UP WITH A SERVICE ANACONDA

2017-08-22T06:11:21-04:00

Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools officials may allow miniature horses to be used as service animals for students in the classroom. (Thanks to Le Petomane)



TODAY'S JOURNALISM TIP:

2017-08-22T06:05:22-04:00

When writing a headline, always read the story carefully. (Thanks to Steve Thompson)



DO NOT MESS WITH THEM

2017-08-22T06:02:46-04:00

Indian woman given permission to divorce husband after he fails to install toilet (Thanks to Le Petomane)



WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

2017-08-22T06:00:40-04:00

Yes, you can now tip strippers with Bitcoin (Thanks to Le Petomane) Related: Austrian brothel buys a SECOND sex doll after its first became more popular with customers than real women (Thanks to Patty Villanova)



BUT OFFICERS, THESE ARE FOR PERSONAL USE

2017-08-22T05:59:07-04:00

Virginia man arrested for smuggling 500,000 contraband cigarettes into Brooklyn (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "We're gonna need more matches.")



YOU ARE NOW FREE TO PARTAKE

2017-08-21T15:17:41-04:00

Couple on Southwest flight partakes in sexual activity (Thanks to John Lobert)



THE ECLIPSE

2017-08-21T13:51:23-04:00

This blog is ready.



ALERT LEVEL: TRÈS HIGH

2017-08-21T11:47:26-04:00

British recipe for 'sausage croissant' sparks social media uproar in France (Thanks to W. von Papineau)



NAME THAT STATE!

2017-08-21T11:44:07-04:00

A man was arrested after police say he had a hatchet in his pants, according to a report. (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)



GUYS IN ACTION

2017-08-21T11:24:24-04:00

Father-of-three who got drunk and dug a 4ft deep hole in his garden at 3am transforms it into a 200 sq ft swimming pool and sauna (Thanks to Roberto)



A GUMSHOE WAS ASSIGNED TO THE CASE

2017-08-21T11:19:42-04:00

A wary woman in southern Germany alerted police after a man buzzed on the door and asked for permission to search her balcony for his false teeth. (Thanks to Ralph)



ADVISORY TO CARJACKERS BRANDISHING FAKE GUNS:

2017-08-20T12:50:08-04:00

Make sure the car is not occupied by football players. (Thanks to Steve K.)



OTHER THAN THAT...

2017-08-20T12:43:51-04:00

NASA plan to save Mankind from Yellowstone supervolcano eruption could trigger NUKE WINTER Autoplay. (Thanks to coscolo and Le Petomane, who says "A big fireproof cork is under serious consideration.")



SPEAKING OF SCIENCE:

2017-08-20T12:40:17-04:00

It's settled. (Thanks to Jon Harris)