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Dave Barry's Blog





Published: 2017-03-23T09:40:52-04:00

 



LONG ISLAND LITFEST

2017-03-23T09:40:52-04:00

On Sunday I'll join Alan Zweibel at Long Island LitFest, where we'll be talking about For This We Left Egypt?, the parody Haggadah we wrote with Adam Mansbach. We will also explain how matzah can be used as a weapon.



TENNIS IN MIAMI IS NOT LIKE TENNIS WHERE YOU LIVE

2017-03-23T08:53:07-04:00

Here's Mrs. Blog's report of how a Miami Open match was invaded yesterday by a Jurassic Iguana.



WE BLAME GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE

2017-03-22T14:21:13-04:00

Giant die washes ashore on Lake Coeur d'Alene (Thanks to Craig Roberts)



FORTUNATELY IT WAS BUD LIGHT

2017-03-22T14:01:25-04:00

Police were investigating Wednesday morning after a load of beer was dumped on a road following a wreck. (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "Which is where it belongs, if you ask me.")



POLLY WANT A POPPY

2017-03-22T13:59:23-04:00

Parrots flying high on drugs are annoying farmers by plundering poppy fields to feed their opium addiction (Thanks to Le Petomane, Patty Villanova and Ron Weil)



SOMEBODY'S GOING TO HELL

2017-03-22T13:56:23-04:00

Mississippi couple charged with using Bible to smuggle meth into jail (Thanks to Bob Brogan)



THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

2017-03-22T06:29:21-04:00

Alamo Rangers detain man in Speedo riding wooden pony with rubber chicken (Thanks to Bobby Grawl)



SOON WE WILL HAVE NO FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS LEFT

2017-03-22T06:26:51-04:00

A student at a University of Maine campus is in trouble for taking his five baby pet alligators inside a taxicab. (Thanks to Le Petomane)



PAGING SAMUEL JACKSON

2017-03-22T06:24:19-04:00

"The pilot came, and said, 'Guys, we have some loose snake on the plane, but we don't know where it is,'" McConnaughy said Tuesday. (Thanks to The Perts)



WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT RESEARCH?

2017-03-22T06:22:20-04:00

New research suggests that if you want to maintain your relationship, having sex could give you and your partner a short term boost of sexual satisfaction which also has a longer-lasting effect on your relationship. (Thanks to The Perts)



BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

2017-03-22T06:19:26-04:00

The internet is not happy with the new Wonder Woman’s armpits (Thanks to Fabian Marson)



IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICERS?

2017-03-22T06:08:58-04:00

Police detain DUII suspect in Deadpool pajamas, found passed out at Portland Taco Bell (Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)



HARD TO ARGUE

2017-03-21T13:27:12-04:00

Man charged after crashing car into tree repeatedly ‘to prove a point’ (Thanks to Monique)



ROUNDUP ON AISLE SEVEN

2017-03-21T13:05:42-04:00

Woody Fields and one of his friends rode their horses through a Walmart in Houston, Texas on Sunday (Thanks to Patty Villanova)



GUYS IN ACTION

2017-03-21T06:30:15-04:00

Man burns down parents' house, kills pets while trying to exterminate ants (Thanks to Rick Day)



ALSO ONE OF THEM IS CLEARLY TALKING ON AN IPHONE

2017-03-21T06:28:31-04:00

Ancient statues are holding modern handbags in 100% definite proof of time travel (Thanks to Ralph)



YIKES

2017-03-21T06:23:32-04:00

Just, yikes. (Thanks to Patty Villanova)



WOULD THIS WORK WITH THE IRS?

2017-03-21T06:08:28-04:00

Last month more than 100 people, who said they were celebrating a baptism, sat down to a banquet at a restaurant in Spain. Afterward, they formed a conga line and danced out without paying. (Thanks to Chuck Cody)



MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

2017-03-21T06:02:18-04:00

Four teams competed in Russia’s first-ever car curling tournament. (Thanks to Matt Filar)



WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE BARBECUE SAUCE

2017-03-21T06:00:31-04:00

Here's a big chicken. (Thanks to Matt Filar)