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washingtonpost.com - Carolyn Hax





 



Advice from readers

Sun, 20 Mar 2011 09:52:01 EDT

Food allergies, loner tendencies, mental illness.


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Carolyn Hax: He left after 7 years; that doesn't make her worthless

Sun, 13 Mar 2011 19:20:00 EDT

Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend of seven years left me for a 20-year-old (we're both 26). Throughout it all he has tried to be kind and reassuring to me, but I can't seem to reconcile that with the wholesale rejection of everything I have been to him, everything I am and everything I could have been. ...


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How many clues does one need to give an overly sexy dresser?

Sat, 12 Mar 2011 20:58:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My 22-year-old cousin is living with me while she completes an internship in my area. She hopes to be hired at the end of the year. But she dresses . . . kinda slutty: knee socks paired with plaid miniskirts and tops that are way tight and wa...


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His passage to India includes some baggage

Fri, 11 Mar 2011 20:26:01 EST

Hi, Carolyn: I'm taking a six-month trip to India to study and to work. Yes, this is completely my choice and I will miss my life here in the States. However, I believe e-mail and Skype will make it easy for me to stay in touch. My girlfriend says I am choosing my own freedom over our relationshi...
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Resist the temptation of the told-you-so's

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:00:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: Ten years ago my (then) best friend married a woman who was beautiful, but controlling, isolating, manipulative, deceitful, etc. They have one kid. She filed for divorce last week after having an affair with her wealthy boss, and she is moving out of state with the boss, leaving my ...


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Carolyn Hax: A little white lie

Tue, 08 Mar 2011 18:09:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: A good friend of mine has decided not to tell his new girlfriend that he and I used to date because he thinks it'll make her unnecessarily uncomfortable around me. I see his point, but the little lies this requires hurt my feelings, as does th...


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Carolyn Hax: Daughter avoids visiting dad's smoke-filled house

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:48:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My girlfriend, in her late twenties, lives in a different state from her family. When she goes to visit them, her dad wants her to stay at his home. However, he smokes cigarettes in the house. If she tells him she does not want to stay with h...


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Carolyn Hax: Blinded by weight

Sun, 06 Mar 2011 14:08:00 EST

Hello, Ms. Hax: My twentysomething daughter is overweight. Doesn't eat right or exercise. Will NOT discuss. But - if we go shopping together, her physical self-loathing is so evident, a person could drown in it.
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Carolyn Hax on an online dating quandary and more

Sat, 05 Mar 2011 18:31:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: I joined an online dating site on a lark to get over a really sad breakup. Eventually I met "Mark," who truly seems great, and we have been e-mailing back and forth . . . for a little over a month. I've thrown him every possible hint that he s...


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Carolyn Hax: Train-wreck of a friend is heading for a cliff

Fri, 04 Mar 2011 20:06:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: My friend, "Katherine," had been unhappily married for several years, met a man in a bar and began having a casual affair with him. She was not very discreet about it - carrying condoms in her purse and leaving her BlackBerry out with e-mails from the man on it. Her husband found ou...


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Daughter isn't telling parents that she has a boyfriend

Thu, 03 Mar 2011 21:15:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I'm a mother to two amazing children who became my family when I married their father. The older, 16, has her first boyfriend. She thinks her dad and I believe this guy is just a friend. They only get the chance to meet in groups because they...


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Carolyn Hax: For her, a hiatus; for him, an eternity

Wed, 02 Mar 2011 20:01:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: I have been seeing a woman for about four months and we've been dating maybe once per week on average. We are in our 30s. My girlfriend has recently started back to law school as a full-time student. She says she does not have time to see me AT ALL for the next three months. She sai...
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Carolyn Hax: Pushing son into team sport is a lose-lose situation

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 21:31:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: We signed up our 10-year-old son for rec league basketball last year because we thought it would help him shed some baby fat, gain confidence and make friends. It achieved none of those goals. Instead, he was miserable, often crying in the ca...


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Carolyn Hax: Authenticity and civility are not mutually exclusive

Mon, 28 Feb 2011 06:32:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: You once said that if you find yourself editing what you say, or working to uphold a certain image of yourself with someone, then that's a bad thing. Well, why, exactly? I've been married for 24 years. I edit what I say and work to uphold a c...


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Carolyn Hax: With wedding plans, everyone's a critic

Sun, 27 Feb 2011 12:10:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: My 34-year-old daughter is engaged to a wonderful man, 40. They plan to be married in her home town (his family is from out of state), but that is all they can agree upon in regard to the wedding. Her fiance would like to have his family there, but knows it will be a disaster if he...


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'That slip of paper' can focus a couple's commitment

Sat, 26 Feb 2011 20:34:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: I just found out I'm pregnant. I'm slowly getting to be very happy about this news even though it was not, ahem, planned. My boyfriend wants to get married before the baby comes. But is a baby the right reason to get married? I've not always b...
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He cheated on her in college. Will he stray again?

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 20:23:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: This guy and I dated in college, and he was not faithful to me. I guess some of it was typical college behavior, but it still wrecked me pretty badly. He was also a big drinker, very sociable, never had time for me on weekends because he had to be in the thick of everything. Fast-fo...


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Combining households opens a Pandora's box

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 07:00:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I are preparing for his move to my house. We are discussing furniture this weekend and I honestly want him to bring only his dining room furniture and a dresser (I could be cool with his bed). I'm afraid he's going to want so...


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Carolyn Hax: Mom's worry escalates into silent treatment

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 17:49:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: I'm a month late in scheduling a second post-surgical checkup for myself. My mother refuses to speak to me until I get the checkup and report the results to her. I am 37 and independent. I'm not procrastinating intentionally (e.g., in fear). I'm not requiring her to remain cordial a...


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Carolyn Hax: Boyfriend's job move puts relationship to the test

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 18:02:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year. We've talked generally about long-term stuff, but nothing specific or concrete. Our larger disagreement on the long term is that I want kids and he doesn't, a topic that we generally...
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Carolyn Hax: Between Morocco and a hard place

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 17:04:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My last girlfriend, who was absolutely perfect, had to move to Morocco for her PhD program. We tried to make it work long-distance, but neither of us could manage frequent visits, so we decided mutually to end things. We agreed that if we're ...


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A reluctant player in the theater of high drama

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 16:05:00 EST

Hi, Carolyn: Are high-drama relationships ever good ones? My boyfriend and I usually have a huge argument every couple of weeks (not disagreements, but fights where we yell at each other). Is this normal? Most of my friends are in a similar type of relationship, too. I know a couple who have th...


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It's not me, it's you (but really, it's me)

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 20:20:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Got dumped after two months by someone who said that while he felt he was falling in love with me and I was perfect for him, things were "too easy" with me, that he would just keep being himself if he dated me because we're both introspective...


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Wedding planning reveals fiance's true colors

Fri, 18 Feb 2011 20:17:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: I am planning a wedding. My parents are not working, and I have felt I would be paying for my own wedding for a while. I'm a successful professional. My fiance, however, is put off that they are not paying and has made several comments: "You could ask." "My parents are more traditio...
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Carolyn Hax: Bewitched, then bothered, then bewildered. Repeat.

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 07:30:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: I keep finding myself in two- or three-month relationships with men who turn out to have pretty serious emotional problems. I am realizing that I am the common factor here, and it's more than bad luck. How can I figure out why I keep "selectin...


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Carolyn Hax: She sees joyful chaos; in-laws see anarchy

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 18:54:00 EST

Hi, Carolyn: I have two boys, 6 and 4. The 6-year-old is autistic. Both are highly energetic and our household is generally filled with noise and energy. When my in-laws visit, they tell us we are not strict enough, don't feed our kids enough healthy foods, and let our kids watch too much TV. Our...


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Carolyn Hax: In-laws on the warpath, cont'd.

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 23:03:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I don't know. It doesn't seem right that the wife [from yesterday's column] is bearing the entire weight of his family's appalling treatment of her. If it took years for my SO's family to start thinking of me in a friendly light, I'd give the...


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Taking the high road when in-laws go low

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 03:47:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I have in-law problems. My husband and I are newly married. His family doesn't approve of me and was trying for a few months to persuade him to get an annulment. Now they have backed down. Would it be appropriate for me to write them a letter...
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Carolyn Hax: No happy-ever-after with fairy-tale ideas on gender

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 00:01:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: My outlook on dating is very traditional - man courts lady and pays for dinner/drinks, etc. Then, after you figure out you truly want to continue to date, the woman offers to pay. The man I am dating seems a bit more on the equal end ... I paid for last night, you pay for tonight.


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Lighting a fire under two old flames

Sat, 12 Feb 2011 21:50:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: In a nutshell: Best friend dated a great guy for two years. He was kind, honest, smart, and treated her so well. They broke up (timing issues - both going to grad school) five years ago. She has been dating another guy for two years, and has ...


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The truth? Maybe you can't handle the truth.

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 18:36:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: Is it okay for a husband or wife to have a secret friend of the opposite sex? I have found proof within our computer's history that contact has been going on for at least three years. They met at work. Whenever I try to broach the subject, I get screamed at and told that I have no i...


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Carolyn Hax: Her dad's in hospice, and a baby's on the way

Thu, 10 Feb 2011 22:01:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My dad has had cancer for three years. He had been doing well until about six weeks ago. I recently got back from a long visit to my parents on the East Coast. Soon after I got home, I was told that he's being moved into hospice to await the ...
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Carolyn Hax: Family's vacation plans devolve into scorekeeping

Wed, 09 Feb 2011 18:09:00 EST

Hi, Carolyn: My spouse is one of three siblings, and there are nieces but we have the only two boys (grandkids range from 3 to 12). One sister-in-law asked us to come on vacation with the rest of family (14 of us), but wants our family of four to stay in a separate house so we have enough "space....


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Carolyn Hax: Thanks to dismal pregnancy, she's expecting the worst

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 21:55:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I'm about 20 weeks pregnant with twins, and while I'm thrilled to be pregnant, I'm miserable. I'm still sick all the time, and my patience is at a breaking point. I've spoken with my doctor, but there isn't anything really they can do (small ...


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Carolyn Hax: Dating, even online, requires the same process it always has

Mon, 07 Feb 2011 05:31:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Aside from hiring a P.I., how can I tell if a guy who looks fine on a major dating site is in fact okay? (I don't mean nice per se, but . . . not a felon, on an abuse registry, con man.) I am not a worrywart but I am not comfortable. Online d...


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Carolyn Hax: Young dad poised to repeat painful family history

Sun, 06 Feb 2011 19:09:00 EST

Hi, Carolyn: I'm a proud daddy of two little ones who are 5 and 3. My own father abandoned my family when my sister and I were about the same age my kids are now. I barely remember him, but it has taken my mom and sister years of therapy, fights and other drama to get over it.
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Father's wife gives kids the slip

Sat, 05 Feb 2011 06:05:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Uh, are there any acceptable reasons my father's wife actively avoids my brother and me? My dad remarried after my mom passed away; both my brother and I were happy. My dad and his wife visited us once, but when we visited them, suddenly she ...


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Carolyn Hax: Looking for clues in all the wrong places

Fri, 04 Feb 2011 00:00:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: I just found out my husband of 12 years has been texting a female co-worker in and out of work. I found out quite by accident. They were joking about the football pool. When I told him I don't think that's appropriate, he said I'm being ridiculous and he would have no problem with m...


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Carolyn Hax: In-law's dinnertime barb boomerangs deliciously

Thu, 03 Feb 2011 07:00:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I screwed up, big time. I'm an active fitness competitor. As a result, I eat clean - mainly vegetables, whole grains and lean meats. This weekend, my husband and I were out with his mother and sister, when his mom, who has a habit of commenti...


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The inevitable conclusion to Project: Boyfriend

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 18:21:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: How do I put on the brakes with a girl who wants more from me than I want from her? I told her on our first date that I am not looking for anything "serious." I don't have the time or the energy to invest in an intense relationship right now. She said she understood but has proceede...
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Carolyn Hax: A sordid triangle: Readers weigh in

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 21:25:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: About U.K. (from yesterday, who pressured her husband to pressure his mistress to terminate her pregnancy), here's the thing I can't get past: U.K. told her husband to tell another woman to have an abortion. I'm the pro-choiceiest of pro-choi...


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A grim end to a sordid triangle

Mon, 31 Jan 2011 03:00:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hello, Carolyn: A few weeks ago, my husband told me he had an affair. He came clean only after finding out she was pregnant. Despite being devastated, I told him I'd be willing to try to work things out - for the sake of our two daughters, at least - if he...


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Carolyn Hax: What happened in Vegas is now hitting home

Sun, 30 Jan 2011 18:46:00 EST

Hi, Carolyn: A number of months ago my wife went on a ladies' trip to Vegas with four friends -- all married. Friends A, B and C "hooked up" with men they met. It also came out that friend A has been maintaining a long-distance affair for a number of years and was encouraging friend B to follow s...


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A loser in the dating game?

Sat, 29 Jan 2011 00:00:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Just found out the guy I like - who I genuinely thought liked me, too, and who I was very excited about - just started dating someone else. Another guy I dated a few weeks ago for just a few very nice dates, who then disappeared into thin air...
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Fiance shortchanges her financial contributions

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 00:00:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: My fiance and I just combined our finances. I'm coming into the marriage with a small savings account and a small credit-card debt that I'll finish paying off in March. He has a bigger savings account and student loans. Since combining things three weeks ago, he's been making backha...


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Who's the train wreck in this situation?

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 06:00:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I have a friend who in the past had affairs with married men. She has said she regretted it and has expressed disgust with those in her life who've actually been caught in such situations. But now, she's attempting to begin another relationsh...


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Carolyn Hax: Stoner live-in girlfriend and a distraught mom

Wed, 26 Jan 2011 18:03:00 EST

Hi, Carolyn: My brother, 23, is a college grad living at home with my parents. He works the night shift at a mental health facility - a job he finds unfulfilling, though he has made no motions to improve his situation (he has even turned down a promotion opportunity). He has said he wants to move...


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Carolyn Hax: Grieving infertility, continued

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 20:56:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. For Texas, from yesterday, who can't bear or adopt children: From personal experience: Please get counseling. For me, it was the most fundamental betrayal I could imagine (by God/the universe/whatever). I had spent my whole life doing everything "right" - ...
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Drama and public fights - what's not to love?

Mon, 24 Jan 2011 04:44:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My on-again-off-again girlfriend insulted me and a new friend in public during a small get-together. She insinuated that we were flirting. At the time, we were off, but there was no flirting. She cussed us out so badly that New Friend never w...


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A son's tattoos, and a mother's blind spot

Sun, 23 Jan 2011 18:05:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: I have a 21-year-old son, impulsive by nature, who unexpectedly joined the military and is serving in Afghanistan. He has placed many tattoos on his body, which I find so unattractive. He knows how I feel but states it is his body.


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A long-distance call to unwanted distraction

Sat, 22 Jan 2011 00:00:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I just had a fight with my long-distance boyfriend of two years over his very audible multitasking while we are on the phone. We speak for about 20 minutes every night. He tends to rummage around the kitchen and straighten up. There's a lot o...


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A morning monster, tamed only by caffeine

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 17:22:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: My fiance and I have been together for three years. He is, to put it gently, not a morning person. In fact, the slightest interaction with him before he's had his coffee can provoke a torrent of hostility, bordering on verbal abuse. Being talked to like this always triggers, in me, ...
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Sister's boyfriend balks at meeting family

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 00:00:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I am starting to really not like my sister's boyfriend. And the main reason is that in the three years they've been together, I've never met him, and neither has any member of my family, despite numerous attempts to get together (he's always ...


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Carolyn Hax: Friend's hurt feelings are a mystery

Wed, 19 Jan 2011 18:28:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: A friend came to me telling me that something I said two weeks ago was very hurtful to her. She said if I can't remember what it was, that was even worse. I do not remember what I said and I'm racking my brain trying to remember! I apologized, telling her I did not intend to hurt he...


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Carolyn Hax: Friend offers hospitality, then withdraws it

Tue, 18 Jan 2011 18:47:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I find myself in a stressful situation. I live in the Midwest; my friend lives in D.C. Last year I mentioned that my boyfriend and I would be in town in spring; she offered to have us stay at her place, but backed out a few weeks later. I men...


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Carolyn Hax: Getting the silent treatment? Try the talking cure

Mon, 17 Jan 2011 20:29:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I've been married for three years to someone I now realize is passive-aggressive. Our marriage has become a roller coaster of issues, silent treatments and then brushing it under the rug like nothing happened. I calmly try to discuss our prob...
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Constant TV: Entertainment for some, blight for others

Sun, 16 Jan 2011 23:04:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: I am an older woman and not very mobile. I moved in with my son's family following an injury. They have been very helpful and supportive. There is only one chair that I can get up from unassisted, in the living room. In the evenings, I like to watch TV there. I really have limited o...


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When life seems too much, sleep on it

Sat, 15 Jan 2011 17:47:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: At the moment, most of my life is a shambles. My husband of 16 years has been unemployed for the last 21/2 years. We had a baby earlier this year, never dreaming when we got pregnant that he would still be unemployed. We've just moved in with ...


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Hiding 'taboo' boyfriend dishonors all involved

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 00:00:00 EST

Hi, Carolyn: I am an only child from a pretty conservative family. My parents and I moved to this country almost 20 years ago. I have assimilated to the culture here; my parents, however, have retained a lot of the customs from back home. I have been in a relationship with a man I love for two ye...


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Except for all those red flags, he looks good on paper

Thu, 13 Jan 2011 07:00:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I've been with my boyfriend for two years, and a few months ago I was ready for us to be engaged, but now I'm not sure. That's almost a non-issue, though, because while he has said he intends to marry me, he also says he's not ready, thinks i...
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Carolyn Hax: In-laws fail to acknowledge grief from father's death

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 17:27:00 EST

Hi, Carolyn: My dad died last November of a heart attack. My husband's parents and siblings have never said one word to me to acknowledge his passing. About two weeks after he died, they all came to our house to celebrate my husband's birthday, and no one said anything to me. It was very weird. T...


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Carolyn Hax: Diary-snooping stepmom should keep mum

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 18:40:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hi Carolyn: I made the mistake of peeking into my 12-year-old stepdaughter's journal, where I learned she does not like me as much as I thought. She calls me names and says she hates me; in the real world, she is unfailingly sweet and enjoys helping me car...


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Sister's unwanted pregnancy could be his boon -- or bane

Mon, 10 Jan 2011 05:43:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My much younger sister, 22, is pregnant by her cheating ex. She dumped him when she walked in on him with the other woman, and the pregnancy knocked her for another loop. Meanwhile, my husband and I, both guys, had been talking about adopting...


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A man of her dreams, and a very real problem

Sun, 09 Jan 2011 17:22:00 EST

Hi, Carolyn: I'm engaged to the man of my dreams. He's gorgeous, really brilliant, loves my family, and loves me unconditionally. I know you're waiting for it, and here it is . . . HOWEVER, he is not intimate. He loves cuddling, snuggling and holding my hand, but he doesn't ever get in the mood t...
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Two schools of thought on high school reunions

Sat, 08 Jan 2011 17:44:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My spouse can't understand why I don't want to go to my 20th high school reunion. S/he is very sociable, but I am shyer and really disliked the whole high school experience because of the way many people acted. Conversely, my spouse loved his...


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He stays out late; she stays up fuming

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 00:00:00 EST

Hi, Carolyn: My boyfriend and I have lived together for two months, and have been dating for 21/2 years. We're both 26. About once a week, during the workweek, he stays out until midnight or 1 a.m. with his friends. Often he tells me he'll be home at x time, then x time comes and goes, and he ign...


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She loves her job - and her married boss

Thu, 06 Jan 2011 22:08:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I'm in love with my married boss. I thought it would get better with time but it's getting worse. We had two minor physical encounters about four years ago, decided it was a bad idea, and returned to our just-professional relationship. My per...


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Down on her luck, and her family seems to pile on

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 22:26:00 EST

Dear Carolyn: I have been unemployed (laid off) for a year now, and had to move back home with my mother. Here's my problem: I am jealous of my brother and his wife. They have a combined income of $200,000-plus. The other day my 10-year-old nephew, in so many words, called me a loser. On some day...
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There's no plus side to continuing to smoke

Tue, 04 Jan 2011 21:29:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I smoke, and my significant other doesn't. I never light up in front of my SO. SO still says it's a deal-breaker and wants me to quit. SO knew I smoked when we started dating, but I guess neither of us was thinking of getting serious, and now...


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Pain of infertility tears apart friendship

Mon, 03 Jan 2011 17:22:00 EST

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I had a "best" friend for 15-plus years. We went through a lot together, but as the years went on, I often felt it would be easier to just let things drift apart than to work at a friendship that was not working. In the past few years, I was ...


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Friendly help repaid with an offensive allegation

Sun, 02 Jan 2011 19:30:00 EST

Ms. Hax: My partner and I have been good friends with a woman we've known for years. Last summer, during her vacation, she asked me to help repair a small item in her home. I went over and fixed the item, and also mowed her yard as a surprise when she got back home. I even left a welcome bottle o...


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Readers' advice: Setting curfews, deciding to live together

Sat, 01 Jan 2011 17:43:00 EST

While I'm away, readers give the advice. On curfews for adult children: I also have a daughter in college and we faced this question when she returned home for breaks. My daughter and I have come to an arrangement that she will text me at 2 a.m. if she is still out and let me know where she is a...
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Advice from readers: Whether to tell on a cheater

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 20:16:00 EST

While I'm away, readers give the advice. On telling people their mates are being unfaithful: Having been there myself, I think people should remember that telling the truth does not always make one popular or even appreciated. Consciously or unconsciously, those who do tell the truth may be motiv...


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Parenthood's pleasures and pitfalls

Thu, 30 Dec 2010 07:00:00 EST

While I'm away, readers give the advice. On parenthood: What helps me keep parenthood in perspective is the saying: To the world, you may be only one person; to one person, however, you may be the world. With my now 10- and 12-year-olds, for whom the first 8 or 9 years were a mix of hell and he...


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A marriage strengthened in the crucible of cancer

Wed, 29 Dec 2010 18:03:00 EST

While I'm away, readers give the advice. On nursing a marriage through scary times: Two-plus years ago, tongue cancer knocked me down.


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