Subscribe: Not Not Nick Nolte's Diary
Added By: Feedage Forager Feedage Grade B rated
Language: English
astronaut avocado  blood oranges  business cards  diary  don  manolo  mood  morning  music  new  nick nolte  oranges  problem  time  walk 
Rate this Feed
Rate this feedRate this feedRate this feedRate this feedRate this feed
Rate this feed 1 starRate this feed 2 starRate this feed 3 starRate this feed 4 starRate this feed 5 star

Comments (0)

Feed Details and Statistics Feed Statistics
Preview: Not Not Nick Nolte's Diary

Not Not Nick Nolte's Diary

This is a parody of a diary for Nick Nolte.

Published: 2008-09-16T16:00:00-08:00




Well, it seemed only fitting to take a moment from what my bride calls "a book tour retirement" to share a memory of my only encounter with the late, great David Foster Wallace. We met at an airport club at the Dallas airport of all places. He was flying to Newark or so he claimed. Less than a minute into...



I can't get my European business cards to fit into the pages of my contact binder. It's not even close. I never realized the size difference. So I called my office supply guy and you'd a thought I was asking him where to get an ocarina lesson. He had no clue. Then Manolo's life coach stopped by the house. While...



I ran into Burt Ripshaw at the nursery. He was fully bearded so I hardly recognized him. He told me it's the whiskey that makes the whiskers grow. His words nearly parted my hair. Anyway, it appears I hadn't spoken with him in quite some time. It wasn't until after the conversation that I realized why. His Reiki healer is...

Astronaut Avocado


All the world was reflections this morning. The sun was shining over the roofs of all the cars of the valley. If it sounds like William Carlos Williams, diary, it's because it should be. Now that I think about it, it reads more like Cormac McCarthy. Anyway, I woke up this morning with the phrase "astronaut avocado" pounding around my...



I had long ago overheard an expression, was a few months back at the opening of a friend's hibiscus farm, and today I've come to find I've misunderstood the expression entirely. It seems 'lift music' isn't necessarily inspirational music as I understood it, but rather what the English refer to as elevator music. Appears I owe a few emails to...

Mood number four


I've gotten into a blue mood, diary but I know your creaky keys are willing to hear me out. Listening to a bunch of Angelo Badalementi scores only clarifies the feeling. I replaced the bearings in one of the scareowls that guard the widow's walk from gulls and such. When I got above the roofline I was startled to see...

All Star Science


It's a strange day Diary. My new supplement people just don't get it. I feel as though I am trying to write a novel with a skywriter and a ship-to-shore radio with these people. I suppose the root of the problem is that if they have bad news they disappear like Phyllis Thaxter at a union benefit. The truth be...



My new business cards have arrived and as usual surprises are part of the deal. My print guy sends me a batch with new vitals this time of year and its always something. This year I am a Rodeo Archivist and apparently my friends call me "neckbone." He's got quite an imagination. Manolo and I had a good laugh with...



Manolo has resigned me to kitchen duty for the next couple minutes. He stepped out because he forgot the alfalfa (again). Of course he didn't admit to this. Over the years I have come to know Manolo's playbook and when he leaves something off the grocery list he simply says that he needs to go "sew the net." Sure I...



Sweet Maria, blood oranges are addictive. They don't appear to be that tantalizing at first but its not until you walk away that their powers take hold. I think if I ever found myself between a pile of pistachios and some blood oranges my head would explode. They both can get their hooks into you something fierce. Seriously Diary what...



A postcard came today from the Ishii's; it seems they have made their way back to Japan. Kazuhisa signed a contract to play for the Swallows of Yakult and he states that he is most happy with the decision except he notes that the Central Divison is a harsh mistress and I for one can't argue. It might be a...



I've been informed that my waste isn't being properly sorted, Diary. This time, not from my second wife. Yes, the Homeowner's Association heavies are on me once again. Apparently there are four different "classes" of plastics and none of them belong in the brown bin. I tried to plead my case but they didn't want to listen; to be fair...



Why is it when Constance loses her moccasins it becomes my problem? I ask you this Diary because if I said it aloud I would seem like a poor boyfriend. I can't believe I just typed that sentance. There is much static in the signal. I feel as though I am being sent to the work farm without tobacco money....



Well Diary, its been a long road and the turns, well there have been a many. Don't worry I will cut a check to The Hollies. Anyway, this entry is an official good-bye. With Constance finally moved in and more irons in the fire than ever, I think its time for a new chapter. Leon has informed me that I...



I am officially the Sergeant at Arms on the council to save the Salton Sea. To be quite honest I have no idea what my duties are but I think the cause speaks for itself, and so my capacity is irrelevant. I do have several ideas but I am keeping them on the drafting board for now. But here I...