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Rampant robot tries to rip my clothes off

Fri, 29 Apr 2016 09:04:04 GMT

As its lithe synthetic fingers fumbled with my trouser buttons...

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Things are getting steamy. My valet is trying to pull down the back of my trousers. “We’ll have these off you in a jiffy, sir,” he sings.…




Quad-core coffee table trumped by dual-Mac garden furniture

Fri, 29 Apr 2016 05:26:10 GMT

Readers share retro-computing rebuilds, plus a Microsoft CD fit only to be used as a coaster

Last week we brought you the story of the Mac Pro put out to pasture as a coffee table and asked readers to share similar stories.…




Q. What's the difference between smartphones and that fad diet you all got bored of? A. Nothing

Thu, 28 Apr 2016 18:58:32 GMT

Global sales see first-ever decline, analysts say it's not just Apple losing ground

For those wondering if we've reached Peak Smartphone: global smartphone shipments saw their first ever quarterly drop, say analysts.…




Heathrow Airbus collision 'not a drone incident'

Thu, 28 Apr 2016 14:32:10 GMT

No evidence of UAV impact, investigators say

The UK's Transport Secretary, Patrick McLoughlin, has told Parliament that what was thought to be the Britain's first recorded incident of a collision between a UAV and an airliner was probably "not a drone incident" after all.…




Watch it Apple: time has come for cheaper rivals' strap-ons

Thu, 28 Apr 2016 11:47:59 GMT

Cupertino losing streaks continues

Apple Watch started 2016 on a losing streak, ceding market share* to a range of cheaper rivals.…




Smartphone growth? Not in Q1, says IDC

Thu, 28 Apr 2016 04:02:11 GMT

Phone-fondlers fondle fave phones for longer, spoiling upgrade cycle

Prospects for handset-makers just got worse, with the smartphone market recording its worst quarterly growth ever.…




The Internet of Things edges toward a practical reality

Wed, 27 Apr 2016 23:28:12 GMT

Samsung pushes its vision: an open world with it in the middle

There are countless problems with making the so-called "internet of things" (IoT) a pragmatic reality: hardware, software and standards to name the big three.…




Move over Amazon Alexa – Samsung's hot assistant bot Otto's trying to build an empire

Wed, 27 Apr 2016 21:49:25 GMT

Smart TVs are working well, let's make smart homes and smart lights and smart furniture

The success of Amazon's voice-controlled Echo speaker has not gone unnoticed.…




Kids racking up huge in-app bills on Kindles, Android is all your fault, Amazon – US court

Wed, 27 Apr 2016 19:43:22 GMT

And you're gonna pay

A US federal court has ruled against Amazon in its case with the FTC over youngsters breaking the bank with in-app purchases.…




Samsung's little black box will hot-wire your car to the internet. Eek!

Wed, 27 Apr 2016 18:52:21 GMT

Insurance companies happy – but why should motor owners bother?

Samsung is developing a small black box device that will plug into your car under the dashboard and instantly turn it into a smart, connected car.…




Go to Topshop, make a Bluetooth gizmo, stick it on your dress

Wed, 27 Apr 2016 15:59:08 GMT

Fashion retailer plans Top Pitch competition for wearable tech

High-street retailer Topshop is opening an innovation hub for wearable tech.…




Ex-Apple gurus' elusive Android phone coming to UK next month

Wed, 27 Apr 2016 14:55:05 GMT

Obi Worldphone aims for the budget buyer

The startup backed by former Apple CEO John Sculley is most famous today for being elusive - but all that’s about to change. Obi Worldphone told us today its first UK phone will launch here next month, promising style and mid-range specs for a paltry £119.…




Microsoft fingered for Western Euro PC tragedy

Wed, 27 Apr 2016 13:44:05 GMT

The decision to kill off Windows with Bing heaps misery on OEMs

Microsoft last year effectively murdered one part of the mobile PC market that was going gangbusters - Windows with Bing (WwB) - and unsurprisingly this is now reflected in weaker sales across Western Europe.…




Shares down?! But, but, but ... Apple just made $50bn – that's the way the Cookie grumbles

Tue, 26 Apr 2016 22:07:10 GMT

Macroeconomic headwinds blamed for disaster quarter

Apple has confirmed analysts' fears of a drab quarter, reporting its first year-over-year sales decline in more than a decade. Its share price is down 8.2 per cent to $95.76 in after-hours trading – dipping below the magic hundred-buck mark.…




Germans stick traffic lights in pavements for addicts who can't take their eyes off phones

Tue, 26 Apr 2016 19:16:16 GMT

Alerts for those who are always looking down at their mobe

The German city of Augsburg is embedding warning lights in the pavement at traffic intersections to alert smartphone users who don't looking up before crossing the road.…




Google can't hold back this malware running riot in its Play store

Tue, 26 Apr 2016 17:52:07 GMT

Ad fraud, scareware slinger Android.Spy.277.origin found in more than 100 apps

Security researchers have discovered a strain of Android malware that keeps finding its way onto Google Play – despite the store supposedly being scrubbed clean of infiltrated apps.…




LG: Stop focusing on Apple and Samsung. There's us. And our G5. Look at it. Look at it

Tue, 26 Apr 2016 14:58:12 GMT

The forgotten flagship

Review Every year LG threatens to steal the flagship crown, but the press pauses briefly only on the device before returning to speculating about Samsung and Apple.…




FBI ends second iPhone fight after someone, um, 'remembers' the PIN

Mon, 25 Apr 2016 20:01:12 GMT

Feds backing away from effort to set legal precedent

For the second time, the FBI has dropped a legal attempt to force Apple to unlock an iPhone at the last minute.…




The web is DOOM'd: Average page now as big as id's DOS classic

Fri, 22 Apr 2016 19:51:57 GMT

BFG? More like BFHTTP, amiright?

The average web page is now roughly the same size as the full install image for the classic DOS game Doom, apparently.…




Dutch students serve up world's first 'drone café'

Fri, 22 Apr 2016 14:04:13 GMT

A UAV serving booze. What's not to like?

Visitors to Eindhoven University of Technology's Dream and Dare Festival over the next couple of days will able to pop into the world's first "drone café", where an interactive UAV will serve booze to eager punters.…




Pro who killed Apple's Power Mac found... masquerading as a coffee table

Fri, 22 Apr 2016 05:02:09 GMT

You thought McAfee was a master of disguise?

The Register has been shooting some video of late, and on a recent visit to Key Studio came across a coffee table we think is worthy of some attention.…




Hands up, who prayed for AMD? Well, it worked

Fri, 22 Apr 2016 01:13:13 GMT

Mini-Chipzilla licenses CPU tech to Chinese manufacturer – and the crowd goes wild

About a year ago, we asked you to pray for AMD. It's working.…




Comcast stabs set-top boxes in the back, pipes directly into smart TVs

Thu, 21 Apr 2016 19:43:04 GMT

This wouldn't have anything to do with a recent FCC decision, would it?

Comcast appears to be suddenly in the mood for murdering set-top boxes.…




Qualcomm channels Star Trek's Scotty as it faces a mobe chip wreck

Thu, 21 Apr 2016 07:57:06 GMT

CEO assumes major customer (cough, Apple) may buy fewer Qualy modem chips

Analysis Mobile chip designer Qualcomm typically channels Star Trek's Montgomery Scott, the chief engineer who under-promises to appear a miracle worker when he eventually delivers.…




Mitsubishi 'fesses up: We lied in fuel tests to make our cars look great

Wed, 20 Apr 2016 18:13:28 GMT

President hangs head in shame

Tetsuro Aikawa, president of Mitsubishi Motors Corp (MMC), gave a deep bow of apology at a press conference on Wednesday after admitting his firm had falsified fuel efficiency tests on at least 635,000 vehicles.…




HTC 10: Is this the Droid you're looking for?

Wed, 20 Apr 2016 11:58:04 GMT

Oh, M8. Let's just say it sounds good

Review It’s only two years since HTC was the darling of the fanDroids. Distinctive, thoughtfully made and a cut above the rest in style, the HTC One M8 gathered the kind of plaudits an obscure band gets.…




Business gadget-makers eyeing modular LG G5 smartmobe

Wed, 20 Apr 2016 05:32:11 GMT

Projectors and credit card readers under consideration

LG has conducted a developer day to interest gadget-makers in developing third-party modules for its LEGO-like G5 smartphone.…




Intel literally decimates workforce: 12,000 will be axed, CFO shifts to sales

Tue, 19 Apr 2016 20:29:49 GMT

While banking a $2bn profit in first three months of the year

Intel will axe 12,000 employees globally – more than one in ten of its workforce – as it moves further away from being a PC chip company.…




Video folk, you'll love the 96TB, 2.6GB/sec LaCie 12big HDD

Tue, 19 Apr 2016 10:33:06 GMT

Thunderbolt 3 compatible external drive? Ooh, nifty

Seagate's LaCie external storage drives unit has come up with a video editing workstation user's wet dream: 96TB capacity and 2.6GB/sec throughput from a Thunderbolt 3-accessed desktop tower.…




Translated: BlackBerry CEO John Chen on cops-snooping-on-BBM

Mon, 18 Apr 2016 21:51:57 GMT

The TL;DR you need

BlackBerry CEO John Chen has responded to last week's reheated news that police can pull text messages from BlackBerry handsets.…




Killer Japan quake jolts Sony factories to a halt

Mon, 18 Apr 2016 20:05:42 GMT

Don't worry, they can still make (most) of your phone parts

Sony says that it will be resuming production at several of its largest Japan manufacturing facilities following a series of devastating earthquakes in the region, though some other factories remain offline.…




Woz says wearables – even Apple Watch – aren't 'compelling'

Mon, 18 Apr 2016 02:58:12 GMT

'It's an expense that bought me a few extra niceties' but shows Apple can swing and miss

Steve Wozniak has decreed that today's crop of wearables just aren't that useful – even Apple's own Watch.…




Apple pulled 2,204lbs of gold out of old tech gear

Fri, 15 Apr 2016 20:56:58 GMT

Even the trash is expensive in Cupertino

Apple says its recycling efforts have recovered thousands of pounds of rare metals from discarded electronics.…




You Leica? P9 certainly is a Great Leap Forward in imaging... for Huawei

Fri, 15 Apr 2016 12:21:12 GMT

But is it a Cultural Revolution?

Review Huawei has grabbed the headlines with its audacious partnership with Leica – but does it measure up? Here’s the verdict on the P9: that is, the regular 5.2 inch model, not the larger P9 Plus, which has a few tricks of its own.…




Apple assumes you'll toss the Watch after three years

Fri, 15 Apr 2016 06:02:05 GMT

And bin kit running 'MacOS', whatever that is, after four

Apple has dropped a little hint about the expected working lives of its products, suggesting its Watch will only be used for three years.…




Cinema boss gives up making kids turn off phones: 'That's not how they live their life'

Thu, 14 Apr 2016 23:27:50 GMT

What's the harm in obnoxious people tapping at their phones in a crowded theater?

The CEO of AMC Theaters says his company will consider allowing people to text during movies.…




You won't believe this, but… nothing useful found on Farook iPhone

Thu, 14 Apr 2016 18:59:57 GMT

FBI not exactly shining with this one

The iPhone at the center of the huge public fight between the FBI and Apple has "nothing of real significance" on it – just as we suspected.…




Intel takes aim at Arduino with US$15 breadboard

Thu, 14 Apr 2016 04:02:11 GMT

Internet of Things We're Gonna Crush Next?

Having nominated the Internet of Things as key to its future strategies, Intel has added a super-cheap development board to its Quark lineup.…




Grab your Hammer pants – it's the '90s again: Facebook brings Virtual Reality back

Wed, 13 Apr 2016 12:58:07 GMT

But why exactly does it want to be a hardware company?

Judging by the hype around Facebook VR, you'd think the '90s never happened. Back then, the Social Network™ didn’t exist and it was the era’s video game giants – Sega and Nintendo – rolling out virtual reality with great fanfare.…




USB-C adds authentication protocol

Wed, 13 Apr 2016 04:17:11 GMT

When one wire carries data and power, you need to protect against dodgy devices

The USB 3.0 Promoter Group has announced it has devised and will adopt a new “USB Type-C Authentication specification.”…




Samsung's dimmer Galaxies can make calls when locked, cabled

Wed, 13 Apr 2016 02:31:09 GMT

Talk AT commands at the phone over USB and see wait for the fun to start

A bunch of Samsung Galaxy variants leave their modems open to receiving AT commands over the USB cable, even when they're locked.…




Vulture conservationists hatch cunning 3-D printed egg plan

Tue, 12 Apr 2016 12:34:08 GMT

Breeding programme benefits from Microduino-packed sensor podule

Devastated vulture populations in India, Nepal and Pakistan are being pulled back from the brink of extinction thanks to an artificial breeding programme agreeably assisted by a 3d-printed egg packed with diminutive Microduino microprocessor kit.…




HTC 10: Flagship goes full Google – but the hardware's top notch

Tue, 12 Apr 2016 12:04:15 GMT

HTC desperately needs this flagship to be a hit. Does it deliver?

Hands On HTC has unwrapped its make-or-break flagship for 2016, the Ten, and we’ve had a look.…




Buggy power supply can brick buggy Nexus switches

Tue, 12 Apr 2016 02:56:07 GMT

Ouch: PSUs can restart switches that brick on restart

Network admins in Cisco Nexus shops might want to check their inventories for a particular combination of switches and power supplies.…




Websites take control of USB devices: Googlers propose WebUSB API

Mon, 11 Apr 2016 23:18:36 GMT

What could possibly go wrong? Wait, what could possibly go right

Two Google engineers have drafted a software interface that allows websites to control USB devices.…




BlackBerry boss mulls mid-range Androids

Sun, 10 Apr 2016 23:23:02 GMT

Punters punt pricey Priv so BlackBerry heads for the ~$400 price point

BlackBerry's CEO has used an interview with United Arab Emirates outlet The National to announce plans to move the troubled mobe-maker's Android efforts downscale.…




FBI, Apple continue cat-and-mouse game over iPhones in New York

Fri, 08 Apr 2016 21:42:11 GMT

A new day, a new iThing, a new quest for precedent

Despite walking away from a high-profile confrontation, the FBI is not giving up on its cat-and-mouse game with Apple over access to iPhone data, and the issue has now moved to New York.…




Look who's here to solve the Internet of Things' security nightmare – hey, it's Uncle Sam

Fri, 08 Apr 2016 19:54:06 GMT

Commerce department asking for input on its role

The US government is working on a "green paper" – the first step in a formal policy process – on the internet of things (IoT).…




Read America's insane draft crypto-borking law that no one's willing to admit they wrote

Fri, 08 Apr 2016 19:34:32 GMT

Understandable – it's more stupid than expected

A draft copy of a US law to criminalize strong encryption, thought to be authored by Senators Richard Burr (R-NC) and Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), has been leaked online. And the internet is losing its shit.…




Field technicians want to grab my tool and probe my things

Fri, 08 Apr 2016 09:07:05 GMT

The TV repair man returns for the IoT age

Something for the Weekend, Sir? There’s a woman at the front door. She has come to twiddle my knobs.…