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How To Get Your Ex Back

Updated: 2014-10-04T18:07:39.276-07:00


Tips And Advice On Getting Back Your Ex


So your looking at getting back your ex? There's a myriad of advice available these days on how to get your ex back, but how do we go about sifting the nuggets from the dirt, and making sure our actions aren't driving our ex further away? Let's take a look at some general guiding principles to avoiding the major pitfalls when getting back your ex.Firstly, when considering any advice, don’t be afraid to temper it with your own instincts. You probably know your ex better than anyone, so if you receive some advice that you think will cause an adverse effect, its ok to trust your read on the situation. Now, there’s a big difference between advice you think just doesn’t apply to your ex versus advice that feels a little counter intuitive. For example, many experts advocate not constantly phoning your ex right after a break up. You might really want to call your ex all the time, but it’s probably not a great idea to smother them.Secondly, it’s worthwhile to really examine the cause of your break up. Was it a silly argument that set off the split? If so, chances are there were more deep rooted problems in the relationship which simply manifested itself in the form of a silly argument. If you’re looking to get back the ex, ignoring the bigger issues is almost certainly going to hurt your chances, or even worse, is likely to lead to problems in the future even if you do convince your ex to give things another try.If you’re struggling for some objectivity on what caused the break up in the first place, ask some friends or family for some insight. Why do they believe the relationship didn’t work? It’s important to do two things if you seek this type of advice though. Firstly, make it clear to your friends or family that you want them to be honest. Secondly, don’t be upset if they are. Sometimes the reality of the cause of our break up will be us, or our behaviour will have contributed to it. If this is pointed out to us, the last thing we want to do is alienate the very people we’ve sought help from by reacting negatively to it. Take their suggestions on board, thank them, and then use it constructively.When you feel like you’ve gained some clarity on why things didn’t work out with your ex, that’s the time to start trying to convince them that you should try again. When arranging a meeting, try to do it on neutral ground. Public areas like a park, or restaurant often feel ‘safer’ to an ex because there’s lesser risk of an argument.Whatever you do, when you meet your ex for the first time after a break up avoid confrontation. If you’re the one who convinced them to meet, they might not yet have the clarity that you have. Sometimes this means having to hear some harsh truths (or even unjust remarks). Whatever it might be, take these in your stride and try to deal with them constructively. Even if you don’t agree with what they are saying, or blame they might be attributing to you, there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that this is the way they feel. If you can make them appreciate you have given thought to their perspective, this can go a long way to making them more receptive to giving the relationship another go.Be prepared to commit to get back your ex, and making the relationship work. Maybe this means making some changes to yourself, maybe it means making changes as a couple. Many people try relationships counselling to help the reconciliation. The important thing is to demonstrate your willingness to commit to the process and ask that they do the same.If in the past your behaviour has been at the root of the break up, be prepared to apologise. If causing hurt to your partner has been a regular thing, chances are you will need to demonstrative active change. Don’t demand their trust. You’ve probably broken promises in the past. Simply ask that they give you the chance to prove to them that you won’t hurt them in the future.Be prepared to be patient in winning back your ex. People usually have a good reason for calling off a relationship, and it may take some time to address the p[...]

Win Your Love Back Even After Making Mistakes


You can win your love back. Let me give you an example.

Jacqui made a major mistake. She saw Bohdie talking to her best friend Andrea and thought he was flirting with her. She started to convince herself that Bohdie wasn't committed to her, and was scared that infidelity was running riot in her relationship. She even started looking up guides on how to know if your boyfriend is cheating. Jacqui worked herself into a fury... and broke up with Bohdie.

It turns out that he was really consulting Andrea on how to put together a surprise romantic Valentine’s date. He was really hurt that Jacqui would think so little of him and didn’t want to have to do anything to do with her after that.

You may think that you can not win your love back after such a situation. But let me tell you what Jacqui did to get Bohdie back.

Bohdie wasn’t talking to her, so she couldn’t discuss the situation with him. But she could write him a letter. She got some nice paper and hand wrote an apology. She admitted that she had flown off the handle. She also told him what she liked about him and about the relationship. Finally, she expressed gratitude for his thoughtfulness in planning a romantic date.

Then, she shut up. She didn’t call, text or email him for a week. By not pestering him, she gave him time to work through his emotions.

After a week, she sent him a short and sweet “thinking of you” email. She kept it casual.

Bohdie was obviously nuts about Jacqui because he was willing to go to the trouble of impressing her on Valentine’s day. But, he was also hurt. Because Jacqui had apologized and given him time to work through his emotions, he was able to respond to the “thinking of you” email.

The night he got the email, he called Jacqui. She tried to keep things light and fun. Bohdie appreciated that. So, he suggested they meet for coffee and Jacqui agreed.

Jacqui went out of her way to look like a million bucks. She wore the earrings Bohdie had given her for Christmas and she put on the perfume that he liked so much.

Jacqui decided that she would only talk about positive things. She especially tried to bring fond memories into the conversation. She also asked about his family because that would reinforce their shared history and closeness.

Bohdie appreciated this. He loved Jacqui and didn’t want things to end. But, he didn’t want a repeat of the situation either. He needed to be reassured that their life together wouldn’t be filled with needless drama. He also needed to know that talking to another woman wouldn’t set off fireworks.

The couple agreed that they would take the relationship to a less intense level. They would really court each other again. They would stop taking each other for granted.

A year later, Bohdie and Jacqui agree that the break up may have actually saved their relationship over the long haul. While Jacqui initially flew off the handle, her calm handling of the situation afterward made it possible for them to move on. She showed you can win your love back.

Get Back Together After a Break Up


Is getting back together after a break up something that the both of you want to do or is it one sided? If so, what can we do for our ex to get her back? This is the place that you need to start.

If it is something that the both of you are committed to doing then you very well could see this working out. It will take a commitment from the both of you and a desire to give in and work together to overcome the things that caused the break up or divorce. If, though, it is one sided and you are the only one who is truly interested in getting back together after a break up, then you may be fighting an uphill battle.

What is going to make to getting back together after a break up work or not is total commitment from both of you. Each of you have to be able to concede that you were and are wrong about things. You have to be able to admit that without trying to justify everything. When you try to justify mistakes you made you are essentially making up excuses. Just be able to admit it and move on to correct it. It will likely take both of you working together to overcome your mistakes. It is a partnership that both of you are going to have to be invested in 100% but the commitment level from both of you needs to be totally equal.

It is very easy to think that it is the other person that has to do the work. It is too easy to let one person do the work. If it is just one person who is doing the bulk of the work in this reconciliation effort, it most likely is going to fail. It took two to make the relationship or marriage take place originally. Repairing the relationship is going to take both of you together. You have to struggle together for there to be a life together at all. This is something that you should have known when you first got together and it is something that you have to know for it to work from here on out.

If you are the only one of the two of you who thinks that getting back together after a break up is a good thing, then it is only you who is going to be putting forth the effort. It is sad to say but if it isn’t both of you wanting it and working towards it, it may be a fruitless endeavor. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try, it just means that you will have a monumentally tough time making this work. It is hard enough getting back together after a break up when two of you are working for it. Getting back together after a break up on your own may just take a lot more patience and perseverance.

Again, it will be difficult no matter what. What is going to help with the success of it is making sure that you have a good support system. If you have friends and family who are not only encouraging you but helping you, your chances of success grow as you continue getting back together after a break up.

How to Win Your Ex Back The Right Way


Do you know how to win ex back? When a woman has left a man, she probably has a good reason, at least in her own mind. Thus, you have to be prepared to battle for her heart if you want to win ex back.

A relationship has a beginning, a middle and an end. The question is whether you are in the middle and just taking a hiatus or whether it is really over and you are at the end.

If your girlfriend wants to start the relationship anew, you need to be able to work things out on a fresh start. You should plan out your steps ahead of time if you want the new relationship to work out better than the old one did.

First of all, consider why you broke up. Were there underlying problems that plagued your relationship? If so, how can you fix them going forward?

Second, analyze why you want your ex back. Do you just feel lonely because she’s not around? If so, any woman will do. But, if you have a hole in your heart that only she will fill, that’s different.

Third, you need to become the person that she needs. Think back to what you were like when she fell in love with you. Have you changed? Did you stop doing interesting things when you devoted all of your time to her? Have you stopped going to the gym thinking that there’s no reason to stay in shape now that you’ve snagged the girl? Become the person she wants to win ex back.

Fourth, consider that the first thing you say to your ex after a break up may be the most important words ever to come out of your mouth. The wrong words can change the balance of the relationship. Don’t beg her to come back. Don’t do anything to irritate her. She probably still harbors good feelings for you and you don’t want to do anything that would change this.

Fifth, you can use the good memories you’ve built to your advantage. Talk about the good times you had. If she gave you a special sweater, wear it when you know she’s going to be around. If you can, arrange to meet at a place that has meaning for you for a quick drink.

Sixth, try to mirror her words and body language. If she uses an uncommon word, try to work it into the conversation yourself. If she places her left hand on her cheek, do the same. Don’t overdo it or be obvious, but this kind of “mirror imaging” gets you back in synch.

Seventh, let her know that you are thinking about her. Go out of your way to send her a card on her birthday. If you know she has a big review at work, send her an encouraging note.

By following these seven steps, you should be able to win ex back. As long as you are still on friendly terms, you can use your friendship to become romantic once more.

Do You Know You Want Your Ex Back?


We’ve all gone through a breakup, and we all know how much they suck. But for some of us it’s hard to move from being in a relationship to simply ‘moving on’.

The fact is, some relationships shouldn’t have ended in the first place. We might think that we should still be together with our ex, but often the first step to being happily back together is realizing this is what we truly, really want. Enough to take steps to actively get our ex back.

How can we be sure?

Are you displaying any of these symptoms?

-Leaving the radio off because every song makes you cry
-Loss of appetite
-Binge eating for comfort
-Calling your ex several times a day
-Text messaging and emailing constantly (Text Message Terrorism)
-Constantly checking your email and voice mail to see if he/she called
-Not going out because you are afraid to miss a call
-Thinking non-stop about why they REALLY left you
-Feeling massively depressed
-Feeling urges to spy on them
-Endlessly rehearsing what you should have said
-Endlessly rehearsing what you will say if you bump into them

…and when you do get a hold of your ex, it usually turns ugly because without a clear plan of what you are supposed to do…what happens? P-A-N-I-C…defensiveness…arguments…and then it gets really nasty.

Do you make these mistakes with your ex?

-We try to convince them we are the love of their life
-We will apologize profusely for everything
-Promise to change for good this time
-Try to get them to see that it wasn’t really our fault
-Even beg with them to take us back

…and of course with every word we utter, regardless of our intention, the more and more defensive, angry and distant they become.

If you’re experiencing this sort of stuff you are certainly not alone. But clearly something needs to change. Instead of just asking how to get my ex back, we need to know the best steps to take to bring that desired result about. Imagine how much easier it would be to put a plan of action into place if you knew exactly what you needed to do to get your ex back. Imagine being back with your ex in a few months, or weeks, or even days from now.

We’re going to be looking at some positive steps that can be taken to get your ex back. The purpose of this post is to firstly, make certain that getting your ex back is what you really want, and secondly, to start thinking how amazing life will be once you have each other again.
To the side on this blog you'll find some resource links. These are some of the best online resources I have discovered which literally set out a step-by-step game plan for getting back your ex, and help avoid the many pitfalls that can result in failure. Checking them out and ensuring you're making the right moves towards getting back your ex is a smart start.