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A Love Worth Saving





Updated: 2014-10-04T23:06:26.809-07:00

 



How to Get Your Ex Back

2009-07-26T13:17:00.766-07:00

Here's a short video by TW Jackson that's helped a lot of people. Hopefully it will help you, too.

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Learn more about how to get your ex back.
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Does Marriage Counseling Really Work?

2009-07-26T00:55:09.375-07:00

All marriages encounter problems at one time or another. Most of them are small issues that can be handled easily. You either decide to not let it bother you or you sit down and talk it over.

But what if your spouse refuses to talk about it? Or maybe the issue is not small to you and you just can’t let it go? What then?

Left unaddressed, that small problem could eventually become a monster. It could tear your marriage apart, pushing you closer and closer to divorce.

Marriage counseling is one way to avoid this scenario. It allows you to discuss the situation with someone who has an unbiased view of what’s going on. The counselor can then assess the matter and offer objective solutions to the problems.

But does marriage counseling really work?

Yes it can work, and it does for many couples. However, seeing a marriage counselor is not a magic fix. You’ll have to put forth some effort to make it work.

There are four basic conditions that must be met in order for counseling to be effective.

First of all, you have to go. That seems like a “Captain Obvious” step, but it has to be said. If both people don’t agree to go to counseling, it won’t work. Period. It takes two to tango and it also takes two to fix a broken marriage.

Secondly, you have to talk. If you’re not willing to get everything out in the open and talk about it, counseling won’t do you a bit of good. Opening up about your thoughts and feelings does make you vulnerable to be hurt and ridiculed by your partner, but it also paves the way for healing and restoration of the relationship. It’s a risk you’ll have to take if you want to patch things up.

Third, you have to listen. As I mentioned above, counseling makes you vulnerable. For this reason, you and your spouse need to really listen to each other and try to understand where the other person is coming from. You also need to listen to whatever advice the counselor gives.

Lastly, you have to change. Yes, you. Both of you. Nobody’s 100% right and nobody’s 100% wrong. You both have to make some adjustments to meet each other’s needs. One person may have to make bigger changes than the other, but it’s important that both people be willing to change. Compromise saves marriages.

As you work to meet all of these conditions, there's one thing that will help you tremendously.

Prayer.

Sometimes there are problems in life that we just can't handle on our own, so we need to ask God to help us. He's the only one who can give us strength, courage, and whatever else we need to make it through tough times.

If you and your spouse are thinking about seeing a marriage counselor, by all means, go for it. But keep in mind that in order for marriage counseling to work, you have to work it. Do your part.(image)



3 Ways to Increase Your Chances of Getting Back with Your Ex

2009-07-24T20:54:46.489-07:00

Breaking up is tough, but getting back together can be even tougher. You want to make amends, but you’re not quite sure what to say or do.

Emotions go haywire after a breakup, so you can not depend on them to help you make good decisions. Acting purely on emotional impulses will almost surely kill any chance you have at reuniting with your ex.

So what should you do? The exact opposite of what your emotions want you to do. I know that sounds totally ridiculous (and darn near impossible), but doing this could save you a lot of trouble and possibly salvage your relationship.

Try these three techniques.

1. Accept the breakup.

The breakup happened. It sucks, but it’s true, and you need to accept it.

It won’t be easy, but you’ve got to acknowledge that it happened so you can move past it. How can you get back together with your ex if you haven’t accepted that you’re not a couple anymore?

Accepting a breakup does not mean that there’s no hope of ever getting your ex back. It means that you respect the other person enough to let him or her go.

2. Don’t call.

Or text. Or email. Don’t try to communicate at all. Seriously.

I know you think explaining yourself or apologizing just one more time will make your ex understand everything, but all it really does is make him or her want to avoid you even more. Nagging is not cute. Neither is begging.

Give your ex some S-P-A-C-E. You both need time to let things settle so you can think clearly about what happened, why it happened, and how it can best be dealt with. Cutting communication also lets your ex know that you’ve accepted the breakup and you are taking the whole situation seriously. It gives them time to miss you, too.

3. When the time is right, reconnect.

Now comes the fun part - making up.

Please don’t rush into this. You really need to take the time to reflect and do some major soul searching to ensure that whatever caused the breakup won’t happen again. Your ex needs time to do this, too.

Whenever and however you choose to reconnect, be sincere about it. Nobody likes to be toyed with. Show her or him that you really want to rebuild the relationship and mean it.

These tips are helpful, but there’s a lot more to getting back with your ex. Way more than I can put in one blog post. The Magic of Making up covers all the topics that I couldn’t cover here, so get a copy of it immediately. It’s well worth the money.

Good Luck!(image)