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4 Ingredients of Social Success

Tue, 29 Jan 2013 09:04:00 +0000

Have you ever met somebody and wonder ‘How do they do that’? Many people strive to make socializing, networking and relationship building as positive an experience as possible. While on the surface it may seem easy to communicate with others and ‘just be you’, there is a lot that goes into determining social success. First and foremost, it is important to know that although communication and social situations may not seem to come as easily to you as it does to others, you are still a good person with important thoughts and opinions that people want to hear. Knowing this will help you understand how specific interpersonal skills can impact your social relationships.According to social scientists, Hatch and Gardner, there are four components of these interpersonal skills that, when practiced and developed, will help you become the communicator you want to be and make certain social situations, such as in the work place or at networking events, easier. Here are the four interpersonal skills you can work on to achieve more success on a social level. 1. Organizing GroupsThis involves bringing together a group of people and having everyone focus on one common goal or purpose. Why is this so important? The person who is able to effectively reach an entire group of varying opinions, personalities and character traits and pulls them together to work cohesively on one project is someone that people immediately feel that they can trust and relate to. In the work place this is an important trait and one that can give you the ability to stand apart from the crowd and position yourself as a leader. If there is an important project that your team is working on, by bringing a group together and commanding respect from a room full of people, you can show your boss and your colleagues that you have the ability to relate to a number of people with varying personality traits. This will put you in the position for social success in the office and may help you get promoted. 2. Negotiating SituationsConflict is a necessary evil to solving problems and finding solutions that will help propel people forward. But managing this conflict is not always done as effectively as some people would like. For many, conflict can cause a person to get defensive, go into attack mode, or cower away and give in to demands from the opposing party. But for skilled negotiators, mediating any situation and finding a resolution that makes everybody happy is a strong trait that people respect.At work this is particularly true. In order for a negotiation to take place successfully both parties must walk away from the situation with confidence that they got what they wanted out of a partnership or deal. If someone walks away disappointed or feeling that they got the short end of the stick, there are significant problems that could arise down the road. Strong negotiators can stand apart in the workplace just by honing their skills. 3. Personal ConnectionsIt is human to have emotion and to feel empathy or care for other people. Still, this tends to come easier to some people rather than others. At work, personal connections are of the utmost priority when it comes to networking in particular. Networking can take place in the office, by talking with colleagues and getting connections within an organization to help get promoted, or outside the office by working with a number of partners or people.When you have the ability to relate well to people and show them that you value their thoughts and opinions, you can open them up to be more positive toward you and about the work relationship you have which can open new doors professionally. 4. Social AnalysisPersonal connections are shown on the surface but being able to analyze your approach and determine how people are detecting your connection is equally important. This final interpersonal skill will help you navigate relationships socially and professionally and help feel people out in terms of what they are thinking and feeling in a situation. In the office this is particularly important. If you are[...]

Creating Successful Relationships Through Proven Communication Skills

Mon, 21 May 2012 07:14:00 +0000

This is guest post by Dr. Georgianna Donadio, the author of Changing BehaviorNothing is more critical to our health than our relationships and nothing is more critical to our relationships than how we communicate. How often have you had a difficult discussion with someone that didn't go as you intended or left a meeting with an important person in your life unsatisfied?To change these experiences, the answer lies in having the right communication skills and tools that enable us to respond appropriately in a way that is positive for both us, and the other person. These same tools can transform how we behave in relationships and have been shown to lead to more successful and more fulfilling relationships. A study at Brigham Young University factoring in 148 studies involving over 300,000 subjects concluded that friends and social relationships, in addition to enhancing our health also appear to enhance our longevity.Behavior change can seem scary or complicated. If the payoff however, is big enough in terms of your own personal health and your loved ones overall well-being, wouldn't the time and energy you put into changing your behavior be worth the reward? The subject of how to successfully change our behaviors is something that has been widely studied and researched for decades. Most of the resulting models of behavior change, however, have not been successful in creating lasting change. Until now. A bestselling, award winning book, Changing Behavior: Immediately Transform Your Relationships with Easy to Learn, Proven Communication Skills, by medical educator and researcher, Dr. Georgianna Donadio, focuses provides easy to learn and proven skills that any of us can apply to all types of relationships to create more successful outcomes.Dr Donadio’s book offers 12 steps to immediately changing how you relate to others and how they relate to you. Step one begins with recognizing that 50% of the time 90% of us are not focused or paying attention to the conversations – according to a recent Harvard study. When we are with another person our full attention should be on them and not on their inner dialogue about what they are thinking or what they want to say next. Closed body language, looking at our watch, playing with our hair and so forth, send the message that we are not paying attention and that we not interested in what the other person has to say. align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=FFFFFF&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">As we all want to be valued and know what it feels like to have someone not pay attention to us, when we shift our focus from ourselves to paying attention to the person we are with, the conversation and relationship flourish. Step Two is understanding that holding soft, non-judgmental eye contact with someone communicates that you are fully present to them and also stimulates the limbic portion of the brain to produce oxytocin, the neurotransmitter hormone connected to trust and love.The book goes on to discuss all 20 dimension and 12 steps to creating fulfilling and successful relationships for yourself and the individuals you communicate with. For more information you can visit for a free download excerpt from the book. [...]

Dealing With Disappointment - Why We Get Disappointed!

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 16:42:00 +0000

We disappoint ourselves Others disappoint usVarious outcomes which we have no control of disappoint us.Even our pet dog can disappoint us!There really is no escape. We have all been hit by various disappointments in this journey of life.Since of late I’ve been looking into my recent disappointments and wondered why I was so disappointed in those situations.This made me realize that I was disappointed because what I expected didn’t happen. I wrote about, Expectations: Is It A human Weakness? before, and this may be an echo of that post.So basically we disappointed when things don’t to live up to our expectations.Disappointment is our emotional reaction to not getting what we want or expect.Does that mean we should give up on expectations? I don’t think there is any excitement in life if we don’t expect anything.For example, if you study well for an exam you expect a better grade. If you are continuously performing well in your job, you expect a promotion.No matter who you are or where you live, disappointment will always find you – it’s a shared human experience. But we don’t all respond to disappointment in the same way.I am not here to tell you what others have already said..“One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.”- Henry Ward Beecher“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire, the size of your dream, and how you handle disappointment along the way.” Robert KiyosakiA disappointment is a good thingEverything happens for a reasonGod has a plan for youAs far as I can see there is no way to shield ourselves from future disappointment.Disappointment is like emotional quicksand that drags you down and tried to bury you! What matters is how you pick yourself up after that happens. I would like to hear your opinion on this. Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts.Related PostsWould You Help Others Succeed Without Expectations?Just Because You Are Angry, Opinionated, Frustrated or Jealous5 Ways To Emerge Stronger When Your Best Is Not Good EnoughWhen The Right Decision Turns Out To Be Wrong [...]

Hallmark Moments Of 2011: December Comes Then Disappears- Faster & Faster Every Year

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 22:29:00 +0000

The heading above is part of the song, I Need A Silent Night by Amy Grant. How true.. December comes then disappears- faster & faster every year!I started writing this blog way back in 2006. Back then, blogging was just writing and publishing. While that hasn’t changed much, there’s a lot more than just writing and publishing now! Social Media, blog marketing, video, SEO etc takes so much of time and really takes time out of what I love doing, writing! Hopefully, one day, I would be in a position to outsource all the things that I don’t want to do and just concentrate on writing. Until then, it’s a difficult juggle. Blogging wise, this year has been huge for me. While things were fairly silent on this blog I was concentrating more on my niche blogs. It was difficult because I also have my day job. Like many people, I like to escape from my cubical nation and be my own boss thus gradually laying the foundation now in small micro steps!Every year, I sort of have something similar to the Oscars, for blog posts. Have a look at the past years.2010 Wind Down Of Enhance Life2009 Wind Down Of Enhance Life2008 Wind Down Of Enhance Life2007 Wind Down Of Enhance Life2006 Wind Down Of Enhance LifeThis year, it's not quite as grand as it used to be :-) but nevertheless I hope you enjoy...Most commented post - Would You Help Others Succeed Without Expectations?Most linked post - How to Find Good Books to ReadMost visited post - 6 Things You Can Do More Of To Enhance Your Life This YearMy Favorite post - How To Overcome Laziness And Do The Things You Need To DoThe HARSH truth post - The Last Look‘Such is Life’ post - Just Because You Are Angry, Opinionated, Frustrated or JealousCareer post - Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?Communication post- Proven Tips To Get People To Reply Your Email!Thank YouQuestions, feedback, post ideas, product inquiries etc I've got many emails this year from various readers. Amongst those were some really heart warming emails. People sharing stories, telling me how certain posts I've written have helped them. Reading those emails makes me realize that the effort that goes into this blog is so... worth it! Thank you very much.. my dear readers. Whenever I get inspired and have a few minutes to spare, I will keep blogging here. I hope you are still with me and continue to stay subscribed to Enhance Life RSS through the coming year too. All the best for the year 2012!Related Posts2007: Hold On To The Hallmark MomentsRemembering Hallmark Moments Of 2008 [...]

Proven Tips To Get People To Reply Your Email!

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:22:00 +0000

Note: I recently started a new blog and all my spare time has been allocated to writing posts for this new blog. Sorry for the lack of posting here. If you are looking for some thoughtful, actionable blogging tips with a spoonful of wit check out my other blog, Better Blogging WaysAnyways, I was inspired to write this post because I overheard a conversation where one person was complaining about not getting replies to his emails. The usual tendency is to think “they are not interested in my email” or “they are ignoring me.” Often, that’s not necessarily the case. The lack of reply may have nothing to do with you, more so it has to do with them! Yes, it’s not me it’s you! ;-)Common reasons why people don’t reply email• Waiting on someone else to get more information and then reply• Too busy to reply• Forgetting to reply the mail• Can’t be bothered to reply• The mail you sent went to their junk email so didn't get them.• If there’s more than one person in the email TO line, each person might assume that the other might reply• Doesn’t know the other person is waiting for a replySo, it’s important to keep these in mind when writing your email.Here are some email tips I have used over the last few years to get my emails replied to. Write a good subject lineBe clear on what the email is about. Depending on the person I am sending the email to, I sometimes add a small tag [need your input] or [Action required] to the subject line. This way even without reading the email message, the person knows that I am waiting for reply. Write short, scan-able emails! Imagine if you received hundreds or thousands of emails per day. Everyday…. How would you get over the email overwhelm?* If possible use one email to convey one message* Use bullet points, group related details into headings* Make the email scan-able by highlighting areas that you want the person to read!Notice what I have done above ;-)End the email with a questionThis way the other person knows that you are waiting for a reply. Here are some examples,What’s your opinion on this?Do you think …… ?If there’s more than one person in the email TO line, add a name of the person you are waiting a reply for. e.g Mark: Can you confirm this is correct?Write down a deadline A deadline creates a sense of urgency, and most people hate to miss deadlines!e.g I need a reply before … so that I can ….Remind the person to reply you mailIf all of the above tactics fail to get you a reply, you can politely remind the person to reply to your mail. Here are a few sentences I use,* I am waiting for your reply. Please let me know about this when you get a chance.* I was wondering if you have had a chance to look at the e-mail below yet?* Quick reminder… I am waiting for your replyWhat do you normally say? What’s a good way to remind someone to reply to your email without sounding too annoying?Related Posts21 To-Do List Mistakes That Stop You From Completing Your To-Do ListWriting Effective Meeting Notes : Take Your Note-Taking Efficiency To New Heights!13 Ideas To Make Boring Jobs Bearable And A Little More Interesting7 Reasons Why Things Don’t Get Done [...]

Linchpin: My 3 Favorite Excerpts From the Book

Sun, 31 Jul 2011 06:05:00 +0000

I am an ardent fan of Seth Godin’s books and have read many of his books over the years. So when Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? was released I had high expectations of the book. The key idea behind Linchpin is that you need to take “ownership” your job, life, and demonstrate the value of what you can offer, by becoming "indispensable". People will not be indispensable because of power or position, but because of the way they work. Seth terms this as "emotional labor", and what I like to call engagement and passion. Seth’s compassionate plea is for everyone to “be” an artist – be a Linchpin rather than a cog in the wheel. src="<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=FFFFFF&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0" align="left"> I personally found the book to be brilliant and very inspiring; it was really a wake-up call for me. Probably, a wake-up call for most professionals because Seth let's them know that they are heading towards a cliff if they continue “being” who they are!Here, are a few of my favorite excerpts from the book.Where Were You When the World Changed? I grew up in a world where people did what they were told, followed instructions, found a job, made a living, and that was that. Now we live in a world where all the joy and profit have been squeezed out of following the rules. Outsourcing and automation and the new marketing punish anyone who is merely good, merely obedient, and merely reliable. It doesn't matter if you're a wedding photographer or an insurance broker; there's no longer a clear path to satisfaction in working for the man.If You Want . . . If you want a job where it's okay to follow the rules, don't be surprised if you get a job where following the rules is all you get to do. If you want a job where the people who work for you do exactly what they're told, don't be surprised if your boss expects precisely the same thing from you. If you want a job where you don't need to be creative because the company's cost structure is so aggressive that customers just materialize, don't be surprised if the low cost structure costs you your job. If you want a job where you get to do more than follow instructions, don't be surprised if you get asked to do things they never taught you in school. If you want a job where you take intellectual risks all day long, don't be surprised if your insights get you promoted.You Can't? At the age of four, you were an artist. And at seven, you were a poet. And by the time you were twelve, if you had a lemonade stand, you were an entrepreneur. Of course you can do something that matters. I guess I'm wondering if you want to. There may be a voice in your head that is ready to announce that you can't possibly do what I'm describing. You don't have what it takes; you're not smart enough or trained enough or gifted enough to pull this off. I'd like to ask for a simple clarification. You can't--or you don't want to? I'll accept the second. It's quite possible that you don't want to. It's possible that making this commitment is too scary or too much work. It's possible that it appears too risky to put yourself on the line and make a commitment to becoming indispensable. A commitment like this raises the bar, and for some people, that might be too high.Related PostsThinking About Money The Rich Dad, Poor Dad Way (Book Review)Reaching Your Potential By Norman Vincent PealeBook Review:Who’s Pulling Your Strings? (How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation ...)Book Review: Eat That Frog- Get More Done In Less Time [...]

6 Reasons People Are Never Satisfied With What They Have

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 16:29:00 +0000

The local radio station I was tuned into this morning had a short discussion about the reasons people are never satisfied. It went on to reveal that a study has found that the richest people on earth are the most unhappiest!You and I may not fall into the richest people on earth (ahem..), but still, would you consider yourself satisfied with what you have? Have you ever wondered why even after you bought some items you have always wanted, soon after you find yourself wanting something else?Think tank: why are we never satisfied with what we have?Here are some thoughts from the radio show, along with my own musings....#1. We are not meant to be satisfied on earth!Sounds funny don't you think? Or perhaps, a pessimistic comment. I doubt that personal development gurus will agree with this one. Leave a comment, I'd like to know what you think.#2. Something Out There Is Better Than What We HaveJim Collins (famous business author), in his newest title, How The Mighty Fall: And Why Some Companies Never Give In, terms this as "The Undisciplined Pursuit of More" Even if the current condition keeps on improving, the desire to have more continue to grow. Therefore, in order to feel satisfied we got to have everything we currently missing, to the point that there is nothing we can want anymore. Hm.. mathematically possible :-) But is it realistic?#3. If we can remain satisfied, we would never be motivated to do anything!I tend to partly agree with this one. If you look at innovations in the past, you'll find a back story where someone was not satisfied with something! I think that the desire for more is what keeps us moving forward. We all need something to strive for. This may not necessarily be monetary; it can be more knowledge, better health, etc.So basically, if you were truly satisfied with something, its unlikely that you would be motivated to do more?#4. We are not appreciative of what we already haveWhat you have right now, could be what someone else may want. (in a literal sense) For example, you may have a loving family etc and there may be someone out that who would think that that's their ideal happiness.#5. We have high expectationsSometime ago I wrote a post on, Expectations: Is It A Human Weakness?It generate some interesting discussions via comments.Lydia said...We will always have expectations. It is the prediction of the (often uncertain) future based on what we know and the passed, in order to make ourselves feel more certain in the face of the unknown......Be clear about what you want, what you expect, the outcome, expect the best, but then know that what ever happens it is always for the best and if it does not work out how we expect at the time, there is a bigger plan in place that we may not yet be able to see that is greater then the picture in our minds.#6. We are not satisfied because we rarely follow our heartsIt seemed that lot of people tend to take decisions surrounding monitory gains. We don’t stop to do the things we were meant to do, because those things usually don’t produce the amount of money we'd like.Let's discuss.. what are your thoughts? [...]

How To Overcome Laziness And Do The Things You Need To Do

Sat, 30 Apr 2011 18:08:00 +0000

There have been several occasions where I have thrown my Saturday morning TO DO list out the window, in favor of an extra two hours of sleep! (For someone writing a personal development blog, I am bit embarrassed to admit it)Given the choice of work and sleeping, I am sure many would prefer the latter. It came as no surprise when one of my friends' recently said, “My hobby is sleeping!” We all struggle with bouts of laziness and for many of us it is a very frustrating. You know what you “should” be doing, when you are doing something totally irrelevant. But sometimes, we are all tempted by another activity, which might be more enjoyable that what you actually have to do! Laziness is defined as a demoralizing feeling that often results in a cycle of feelings where we question our ability, our drive, our character and even our place in this world.Given the things that we have to do in a day, whether work or at home, you will no doubt find a couple of things that you don’t feel like doing. Being lazy is what our unconscious minds would rather being doing anyways!I personally think that we are all entitled to some level of laziness once in a way! However, the power of laziness cannot be underestimated. If it has too much of an impact on your day to day activities, it can be very destructive and crippling. So at the end of the day, you somehow need to get around to those annoying little tasks that you feel too lazy to get done!How To Do Things You Do Not Feel Like Doing1. Find some sort of leverage to help you get the task done! You would have noticed that it’s been a while since I last posted on this blog. Believe me, I have been meaning to write for a long time but I never got around to it. It’s not like I don’t want to write or I don’t have ideas to write about. It’s the feeling of, “I can’t be bothered!”So today, I told myself that I am not going to watch any movie or TV series until I have published a post on EnhanceLife! (Mine was more of a negative “enforcement” but you get my point)2. Use a simple planning software I came across a productivity software called The Action Machine (The videos provided were impressive!) However, I was unable to find a trial version on the website. I usually like to try software before I buy it! Then I saw the 8 week money back guarantee, so I went for it.The Action Machine really forces me to 1. Decide on a set of tasks to do daily (I usually write it down the night before so that I don’t spend too much time, in the morning trying to figure out what to do today!) 2. Allocate a beginning and end time for each task3. Get the tasks done!3. Look at the Consequences of NOT doing what you need to doSometimes, thinking of the negative consequence of not doing what you NEED to do can be really beneficial, to get the task started! 4. Get started even for a short timeThis is sort of the “trick” my mother used on me when I was a kid, to get me to clean my room! Her initial attempts, “Shamelle, you have to clean the room today” didn’t get her anywhere. After a while she would say, “Just spend 15 minutes and clean your messy table”. So I thought, it would only take 15 minutes and would satisfy my mother, so I’ll get it done. Of course it didn’t stop there, after about a week she would say, “You have too many cloths lying around, you need to sort all the cloths” etc etc. Before I knew it, the room was clean!5. It all comes down to self-discipline No one can make you take action; You have to find the motivation within;It’s you that need to resist the laid back attitude and avoid finding excuses.You have to take concerted efforts and push yourself to make some sort of progress each day. It saves time in the longer run and possibly a lot of pain later, if you get it done now!. [...]

Decisions: Use Opinion Of An Expert Or Your Own Judgment?

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 08:17:00 +0000

I recently came across this TED talk by Noreena Hertz, on How to use experts and when not to.
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Before you head off to watch video, consider the important decisions you made within the last week.
How much of the decision was influenced by the opinion of an expert?

The video is about 21 minutes in length. If you liked reading Freakonomics, then you are likely enjoy this video as well ;-)

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The Last Look

Fri, 11 Mar 2011 15:32:00 +0000

I watched a movie called Elizabethtown(2005) today and was inspired by a sentence that was said in the movie. "You know the way people look at you, when they believe it’s for the last time. I’ve started collecting these looks.." Knowingly or otherwise, we’ve all been at the giving and receiving end of many “last looks”. It bought back many memories of my last looks… The look I gave to every doctor that came out of the theater door, while my father was having brain surgeryThe many “good bye” looks; the last look, that sometimes broke the very essence of me…The look on a 6 year old girl, when I dropped of some toys and books at a children’s home The look my grandfather gave me, before he passed away… Well, there’s many many more but I’m sure you don’t want to hear about all those.. Here’s a second look, at “the last look”! The Last Look: Who cares! Just the by-passing look of people you come in contact with. Their last look has no impact on you. The Last Look: Regret When you know, it shouldn’t have been the “last look”, but you did nothing. The Last Look: Rejection The looks that make you feel you are not good enough The Last Look: Fate If it was meant to be, it will be.. true.. Fate controls who walk into your life but YOU decide who you let walk out, who get’s to stay and who you refuse to let go. Related PostsJust Because You Are Angry, Opinionated, Frustrated or JealousHow Much Control Do We Really Have Over Our Own Lives?Do You Belong?Everyone Says It, Only A Few Talk About It [...]

Would You Help Others Succeed Without Expectations?

Sat, 05 Feb 2011 05:16:00 +0000

I was at a singing recital last Saturday and got to witness some awesome singing. It was mostly solo singling with a piano accompaniment. The singing was truly dessert for the ears! I noticed that the pianist was also talented, however the center stage spotlight was for the singer. When the song ended everyone applauded, including the pianist. The pianist looked happy and her applause seemed genuine. This small event, made me think about how we support and applaud others. Sometimes, it’s equally rewarding to see that the effort you willingly put in to help someone, has built the foundation for that person to succeed.If you read this blog with any regularity hopefully you know that I am a believer in helping others succeed by giving with no expectation of return. All of us are “programmed” to expect something in return. It might be appreciation, reward or something in return, that would validate the help you give someone succeed. So helping someone without expectations doesn't come naturally. (Not even to me!)Sure, there have been plenty of times where certain help goes unnoticed or taken advantage of. There is nothing wrong in reciprocating a good deed or a favor. Indeed, we make a living and the economy is revolved around the supply and demand => "give and take". So I am not saying that you should do everything with nothing in return! It simply doesn’t work that way."When, and if, you do for me, I’ll do for you."Is that the attitude you have? Are you one of those people who wait for others to go first?I have found that the more I give and help, the more I receive. However, that’s not the reason for giving and helping others and I hope it’s not yours. Indeed,Good Deeds Get Rewarded (Even Here On Planet Earth!).The best reason for giving and helping is the basic joy of making a difference in other people’s lives. To me, it feels good, to have helped someone and see them succeed. Before you leave this post, I would like you to ask yourself, the followingWhat are the best ways for me to help, other people see success?Do just that and help someone else be successful...Related PostsPeople-Pleasing: The Price Of Being Too Nice And What To Do About ItCharacter:What Every Person Ought To Know10 Vital Actions To Inspire Others And Gain RespectHeroes TV Series: Lessons That Can Awaken The Hero In You [...]

How to Find Good Books to Read

Sat, 22 Jan 2011 15:41:00 +0000

Gone are the days(well almost..) when people go directly to the library/book store and stare at several book shelves, wondering what good book to read/buy. This post is for people who want to do a bit of research online before going to a bookstore to find a good book to read (whether online or your neighborhood bookstore).As part of my New Year post, I mentioned to, “read more books”. Rather than, just preaching, I made a commitment publicly, to list a several books I plan to read this year. Yes, my way of making my self-accountable. Anyways, one of my blog readers emailed me and asked how I came up with that list. So I thought answering that in a blog post.Given below is the process I followed. It is pretty straight forward.1. Select an area you want to read aboutObviously, you need to have some idea of what you want to read about. Are you looking to read fiction books? Latest detective stories perhaps? Do you want to get ahead in your career ? Any area you want to work on your communication skills? You get the idea; Write a few keywords.Example from my reading list: A few areas I concentrated on was blogging, personal development, management, personal finance etc2. Search an online bookstore or search engine for the keywordOnce you have a rough idea about what to read about, visit an online bookstore (I use and then search for the keyword. The search result will give you a list of books. Depending on the results, sort it by either bestselling, relevance etcExample from my reading list: I searched for blogging, and ProBlogger: Secrets for Blogging Your Way to a Six-Figure Income was listed as #1, by relevance. Alternately, you can use the search engine directly.Example from my reading list: I Googled for “best books on blogging”Additional ideas,• Pick another book by the authors you have enjoyed the most.• Use Amazon suggestions or other recommendation tools. o See what "Other people have purchased" section on the website. o Look up a book you particularly enjoyed and browse through the suggested books for another book to pick to read next.3. Use a search engine and read a few book reviews for one of the booksNow, you should have a list of books. There may be some titles that immediately catch your eye. If so copy the title, and paste it in a search engine and append book review. See what other people are saying about the book.Example from my reading list: Search for “Problogger book reviews”Additional ideas,• I would read the amazon review• Read a first few pages of the books, summary, table of contentGoing through all this, made it very clear to me whether it was a book I would want to read, enjoy reading and whether I would benefit from the book. As you would imagine this would take a fair about of time. I wanted to be fully in control of what I would read. Looking back at it now, I think it was time well spent. Don't waste your time (and money!) randomly selecting books, unless you like surprises!How do you go about choosing books you want to read? I’d like to hear from you.Related PostsEat That Frog- Get More Done In Less Time(Book Review)Fake It and Flaunt It? (Even Personal Development Bloggers Do It!)When Confronted With Criticism You Don’t Really Want To Hear, What Should You Do?Career: 62 Tips To Make Your Job Terrific (Lessons Learned) [...]

Just Because You Are Angry, Opinionated, Frustrated or Jealous

Mon, 17 Jan 2011 16:55:00 +0000

It’s intangible, invisible and mysterious; it’s one of the most powerful things our world has ever produced. Each day zillions of people battle with it and make a choice.The force I’m talking about here.... negative emotions. Numerous times, we find ourselves reacting to circumstances, which periodically seem beyond our control. Sometimes, we are not even aware of such situations, until we’ve reacted to another person’s negative inter-communications. Every time we react, we allow the other person to control our emotions.Often, we don’t realize it. Our ability or rather the inability to deal with negative emotions has a huge impact on the quality on the “quality of life” we lead. So remember,Just because you are angryDoesn’t mean you can take it out on me.Doesn’t mean I have to agree with you.Just because you are in a bad moodDoesn’t mean I should also be in a bad mood.Doesn’t mean I should treat you any differently.Just because you have an opinionDoesn’t mean you are right.Doesn’t mean you have to share it.Doesn’t mean I am wrong.Just because you are jealousDoesn’t mean I can fix it.Doesn't mean you have to be a [censored!].Anything you would like to add? Leave a comment and share.Note This post was partly inspired by Seth God’s post, and is also follow up to one of my older posts, 5 Emotions That Drag Us Down Or Shape Our Destiny. Related PostsExpectations: Is It A human Weakness?Decision Making On Money, Love, Work & Health: Why Decisions Errors Are MadeHow To Cope, The Next Time You Are Caught In Verbal Hurricane6 Steps To Achieve Better Self Discipline [...]

12 Books On Blogging I Plan To Read This Year To Improve My Blogging

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 16:33:00 +0000

In my new year motivation post, I mentioned that we all could do with a little more reading. I also mentioned that I plan to read at least 3 books per month; 36 books in 2011. This would be an average number of books by most people’s standard. However, for someone who reads about 12 books each year, this would be a giant leap! Anyways, I was very selective in what I wanted to read.I decided to focus books on 3 main areas1. Blogging (blogging itself, writing, marketing, web analytics, affiliate marketing etc)2. Personal development (Attitude, innovation, finance etc)3. Career (technical, leadership, management etc)I thought of writing separate posts on each category, listing each book. Once I read the book, I will write a review post. That way, I am publicly making myself accountable!This post will focus on the list of books I selected, to improve my blogging.1. ProBlogger: Secrets for Blogging Your Way to a Six-Figure IncomeWhy I want to read this bookI have been an ardent reader of Darren’s blog problogger for over 4 years. I think I even started Enhance Life, because I wanted to try out blogging. Anyways, his blog offers a wealth of information and I believe the book would have the same standard. Also, when I type “blogging” in the search page, this is the first book that’s listed! Also, the book is selling well, it must be good! 2. Idea Mapping: How to Access Your Hidden Brain Power, Learn Faster, Remember More, and Achieve Success in BusinessWhy I want to read this bookA few weeks ago, I started using the software Xmind, for idea generation for my blog posts. Idea mapping has an effortless way of putting things together and it makes my writing easier. So I want to invest some more time on idea mapping and learn it further.3. On Writing: 10th Anniversary Edition: A Memoir of the CraftWhy I want to read this bookI want to improve my writing. This is one of those classic books on the “writing attitude” recommended by the top writing gurus.I have also gone through several reviews of this book. It seems to be living up to its expectations.4. The Super AffiliateWhy I want to read this bookApart from EnhanceLife (this blog), I write a few other blogs. This blog is more or less a “my hobby” blog so I rarely monetize this blog. I have a few advertisements here and there, just so I could cover the hosting costs. However, I want to use my other blogs to promote more products and this book is one of the best books, in affiliate marketing, I am told!5. Blog Marketing:The Revolutionary New Way to Increase Sales, Build Your Brand, and Get Exceptional ResultsWhy I want to read this bookI rarely spend time promoting my blogs. I am not actively involved in social media etc and I know I could have more readers if I know how to or rather the art of marketing a blog.6. The Six-Figure Second Income: How To Start and Grow A Successful Online Business Without Quitting Your Day JobWhy I want to read this bookI mentioned before that I have a full time job at an software firm. Last December, I had a vacation of about 2 and half weeks. Out of which I dedicated a few days to writing. I did nothing but work on blogging and I enjoyed it; it felt good.By reading this book, I hope to get some insight on being a online entrepreneur. The by line of the book says, How to start and grow a successful online business without quitting your day job. Sounds just about right!7. Manage your writingby Kenneth W. DavisWhy I want to read this bookI don't know how this landed on my hardisk. I must have downloaded this free ebook from somewhere! Manage Your Writing is a guide to a more effective, and efficient, business writing process. It’s more about “shaping your writing”. For s[...]

6 Things You Can Do More Of To Enhance Your Life This Year

Sat, 01 Jan 2011 16:29:00 +0000

1. Be More ConsciousYou wake up in the morning, have a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to work, return home, eat dinner, watch television, go to sleep ..(or something of the sort)Do you repeat the same sequence of actions from Monday to Friday without being totally conscious of what you are “really” doing?It seems as if every day is centered on 3 things.1. Trying to get a handle on what happened yesterday 2. Trying to cope with what’s happening now3. Wondering/Worrying about what will happen tomorrowDays, weeks, months and years pass by. Each year, goes faster than the previous one. It seems "life just happens", doesn’t it?2. Be More Time Rich!(When everyone around is concentrating on being Money Rich, Time Poor!)If you haven’t figured it out already, "true wealth" has very little to do with the zero’s in your bank account. Yes, yes, I am not denying that you need money. The problem is, I don’t think any of us are satisfied and we will always want more!As Tim Ferriss says, "the currency of the New Rich is time and freedom. Most people think they need to sacrifice their life, to get the money to achieve either one. Only when it’s too late they figure out they are wrong"3. Be More Authentic(less “fake”!)In this day and age, more and more, the tendency is to copy others; or try to be someone they are not while living in pretense. How fake is your smile? You are unique in many ways. Be more "you"!4. Read MoreNo, I don’t mean spending time on the internet reading gossip and other news! Ask yourself, what is it that you want to learn more about?With everything that’s happening in your life e.g Facebook, twitter and continues updates, do you have "uninterrupted" time to sit and read? Select your books and make a list of books that you want to read this year. I’ve already selected mine. Aiming at around 3 books a month. I will share my list in a future post and make myself accountable! 5. Take more care of yourselfMost of us know the basic rules for ensuring we don’t cripple ourselves at our desks. The problem is that often we not actually practice them!Eat well, and by well I don’t mean scrumptious dessert and junk food! Yes, some of might need that to get by, but the point I am highlighting here is that there should be a healthy balance.Exercise, get more sleep, rest and remember allocate some time “just for you”. 6. Be More happyI know that I want more for myself. You probably want to be happier yourself. However, most of us really don’t know what makes us happy. You think it’s the SUV, you always dreamed of or [your need here], but you will realize that even if you get that, you will only be happy for a while. How can you sustain happiness? Go, be more happy! Happy New year everyone!Related PostsThe Only Way To Stay True To New Year GoalsFast Start Guide To Enhance LifeCTRL.ALT.DELETE to Enhance Life7 Things To Be Cautious Of In Year 2008 And Beyond [...]

2010 Wind Down Of Enhance Life

Thu, 30 Dec 2010 16:43:00 +0000

I have been writing EnhanceLife for about 4 years now, and over the years created a few traditions within the blog! We've come to the end of yet another year, and I end the year with something similar to the Oscars on EnhanceLife, with one minor exception. You don't need to be a Hollywood celebrity or wear a glamorous outfit to visit! Here goes..(I haven't been written as much as I wanted to this year, so I've included some posts from last year as well)Most commented post - 5 Ways To Emerge Stronger When Your Best Is Not Good EnoughMost linked post - How Much Control Do We Really Have Over Our Own Lives?Most visited post -8 Common Mistakes Made, After A Mistake Was MadeMy Favorite post - Tired & True Ways Of Recovering From SetbacksThe HARSH truth post - I Have Learned (Poem by Kathy Kane Hansen)Debatable post - Is Heavy Thinking Ruining Your Life?Health post - 9 Healthier Ways To De-stress‘Such is Life’ post - Self-limitations We Impose On Upon OurselvesLiving simplified post - Get That Happy Friday Feeling At The Beginning Of The WeekCareer post - Leadership: 5 Facts Leadership Gurus Don’t TellAss kicking post!- Jumpstart Your Initiative, You Have Waited Long EnoughLeave a comment and make your vote count! And before you leave your seats...I want to thank all of you my dear reader who visit this blog and have supported me throughout the years. I wish you and yours a wonderful holiday season and a new year filled with much happiness, good health and prosperity.Related Posts2009 Wind Down Of Enhance Life2008 Wind Down Of Enhance Life2007 Wind Down Of Enhance Life2006 Wind Down Of Enhance Life [...]

7 Christmas Song Albums You Must Listen To This Christmas

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 07:10:00 +0000

Every where it goes, it seems like you hear some Christmas song or another. While some of them are just mediocre, there a few good Christmas song albums that stand out well above the rest.Yesterday, I just tweeted about one such awesome Christmas album, and it seems a lot of my tweet people :-) liked it, and some even asked for more recommendations.So I thought of putting together a post with my pick of Christmas song albums.1. Noel By Josh Groban During my life time, I have heard many versions of the popular Christmas Song, Drummer Boy. You might laugh when I say this, but when I heard Josh Groban’s version of this song and his voice... it sent shivers down my spine! All in all, Josh Groban's voice blends beautifully with the intricate and complex arrangements. Indeed, Josh Groban has a most soothing and angelic tone and Noel, brings this out well.2. And Winter Came By EnyaThe Christmas song I liked the most was, White is in the Winter Night. It is has a calming effect and it's a sparkling Christmas track which open up the holiday feeling.While it contains many Christmas songs, I consider it a seasonal release as many of the songs range beyond just the Christmas day. 3. Christmas From The Heart By David ArchuletaI have been a fan of David Archuleta since his American Idol days. David sings with heartfelt and genuine conviction, and that's a hallmark for this Christmas album too.Apart from the Christmas songs I was used to hearing, I got to know some new French Christmas songs too! Pat-A-Pan was such a fun, upbeat song and even though I didn't understand a word of it, it still remains my favorite of the album!4. Christmas Eve and Other Stories (Trans Siberian Orchestra) I was so blown away! The hard rock on the electric guitar, the rocking drums, and just rocking hard, but sill keeping the Holiday spirit alive with our favorite songs! This album takes Christmas music and puts a new, much needed twist on it.5. The Christmas Collection By Amy GrantEveryone has their all time favorite Christmas albums and this is in the top few around our house, and has been there since it's release. This Christmas album was recommended to me by a friend several years ago.Apart from the songs we are used to hearing there was one song which is not that heard of, I Need a Silent Night.I now, in turn, recommend it to anyone who needs a beautiful Christmas album to keep them in the TRUE Christmas spirit.6. If On A Winter's Night By StingWhen you are you are emotionally exhausted by Christmas music, this is an album you would want to listen. It is more of a winter album than a Christmas album. It is such a great complement to the season of winter(for the part of world that has winter!), as it restores the balance by tugging in a direction opposite to that of Christmas music.7. A Christmas Festival (Instrumental)Sometimes, it can get a bit repetitive listening to the same lyrics during Christmas. So, I tend to mix it up with some instrumental Christmas albums.All the Christmas standards are here, all in instrumental form (which is hard to find these days). Even if you aren't a classical music fan you will find these renditions exciting and fitting for any Christmas occasion.I am on the look out for more Christmas albums to add to my collection. What's your all time favorite Christmas song Album? Leave a comment, let me know. [...]

Self-limitations We Impose On Upon Ourselves

Sat, 30 Oct 2010 12:43:00 +0000

If you have ever found yourself holding back on something you really wanted to do, you are familiar with self-limitation. Limitations can serve us in some ways, like reminding us that we don’t have the ability to fly off a roof and land safely on our feet; and they can confine us in other ways, by creating doubt and fear about our ability to create more fulfilling circumstances.

I would think that most of our self-limitations are easily identified as helpful or harmful; We can decide which we want to keep and which we want to discard.

Take a moment to think about your own perceived limitations. What do you believe you can’t do yet? What do you believe you’ll NEVER be able to do? Why do you think so?

Once you’ve identified as many of your limiting beliefs as you can; take a closer look at them. Are any of them hopelessly impossible, or do they just feel that way? Have other people been able to accomplish something that you want to accomplish? Have you accomplished anything in the past that was difficult? How did you overcome the obstacles you faced? Could you apply the same process to any goal?

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Points To Ponder by Pope John Paul II

Sun, 04 Jul 2010 06:13:00 +0000

Side note: I rarely write about religion and spirituality; This is one of those rare moments :-)

This post was inspired by this Sunday’s sermon by our local priest (yes, I do go to church and actually listen to the sermon! ). The entire sermon revolved around one sentence. It was so intriguing that long after the sermon was over, I was still thinking about it. Naturally, it made in to a blog post!

"We have lost the sense of sin" ~ Pope John Paul II

It seems this statement is fairly old; nevertheless new to me (have you heard this before?).

The "sense of sin" refers to having an accurate conception of sin and an awareness of sin in one's life. It is part of what is normally understood as "conscience."
After some digging around in Google, I came across this,

John Paul II in "Reconciliatio et Paenitentia" wrote of a "sensitivity and an acute perception of the seeds of death contained in sin, as well as a sensitivity and an acuteness of perception for identifying them in the thousand guises under which sin shows itself. This is what is commonly called the sense of sin. This sense is rooted in man's moral conscience and is as it were its thermometer."

Think about it.. Is our society losing the "sense of sin" ?

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I Have Learned (Poem by Kathy Kane Hansen)

Sun, 27 Jun 2010 14:15:00 +0000

I've learned -that you cannot make someone love you.All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.I've learned -that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.I've learned -that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.I've learned -that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.I've learned -that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.After that, you'd better know something.I've learned -that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do. but to the best you can do.I've learned -that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.I've learned -that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.I've learned -that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.I've learned -that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.I've learned -that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.I've learned -that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.It may be the last time you see them.I've learned -that you can keep going long after you think you can't.I've learned -that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.I've learned -that either you control your attitude or it controls you.I've learned -that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.I've learned -that heroes are the people who do what has to be donewhen it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.I've learned -that learning to forgive takes practice.I've learned -that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.I've learned -that money is a lousy way of keeping score.I've learned -that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.I've learned -that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're downwill be the ones to help you get back up.I've learned -that sometimes when I'm angry, I have the right to be angry,but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.I've learned -that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.Same goes for true love.I've learned -that just because someone doesn't love youthe way you want them to doesn't meanthey don't love you with all they have.I've learned -that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've hadand what you've learned from them and less to do with how manybirthdays you've celebrated.I've learned -that you should never tell a childtheir dreams are unlikely or outlandish.Few things are more humiliating, andwhat a tragedy it would be if they believed it.I've learned -that your family won't alwaysbe there for you. It may seem funny,but people you aren't related tocan take care of you and love youand teach you to trust people again.Families aren't biological.I've learned -that no matter how good a friend is,they're going to hurt youevery once in a whileand you must forgive them for that.I've learned -that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.I've learned -that no matter how bad your heart is brokenthe world doesn't stop for your grief.I've learned -that our background and circumstancesmay have influenced who we are,but we are responsible for who we become.I've learned -that sometimes when my friends fight,I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.I've learned -that just because two people argue,it doesn't mean they d[...]

The One Minute Manager: Highlights From The Book

Fri, 11 Jun 2010 16:16:00 +0000

The One Minute Manager, was my week-end reading (last week). I thought of sharing my reading notes as a blog post."Once there was a bright young man who was looking for an effective manger. He wanted to work for one. He wanted to become one. His search had taken him over many years to the far corners of the world." Finally he met the "One minute Manager" who shared the secrets of "one minute management". He was neither autocratic nor democratic; neither tough nor nurturing. He taught three secrets of the one minute management to the young person. So here we go...Secret #1 : One minute Goal SettingPeople who feel good about themselves produce good resultsOne minute manager sets each goal and its performance standards with his subordinates in paper with less than 250 words; something that can be read in less than one minute! Occasionally, people can spend a minute of their time and read the goal and see whether their behavior matches the goal. When you go for bowling and if there are no pins standing, would you ever roll the ball? When there are pins but if they are covered with a paper screen, you would try rolling and might hear some sounds which makes you happy. But you would not enjoy the game much. So the manager's responsibility is to make the pins visible! Secret #2 : One Minute PraisingHelp People to Reach Their Full Potential. Catch Them Doing Something RightThe book argues that managers often "catch" people when they do something wrong. They are watching behind the paper screen so that they can see the pins well. They would say that you missed eight pins instead of telling that you hit two. That's where the second secret of one minute management is "One Minute Praising". Good work should be praised immediately and it should be specifically about the particular work and not a general praise. Secret #3 : One minute ReprimandWe are not just our behavior. We are the person managing our behaviorThere are times, when bad things happen due to mistakes. That's where you need to go for one minute reprimand. As in the previous secret, this should be done immediately. Divide your minute into two. In the first 30 second, tell what went wrong and tell how you feel about it. During the second half you should remind them how valuable they are to you and to the organization. Re-affirm that you condemn the behavior but you value the person and that the person is not just the behavior! Finally, ensure that an agreement is made not to repeat the same mistake.Worthy quotes src="<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0" align="left"> "The best minute you spend is the one you invest in people" "Everyone is a potential winner. Some People are disguised as losers, Don't let their appearances fool you" "Goals begin behaviors. Consequences maintain behaviors." Finally, our young guy became an effective manager by learning and practicing the above secrets and came up with a new principal."Share it with others"And the last principal forced me to write this :-). Related PostsBook Review:Who’s Pulling Your Strings? (How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation)Reaching Your Potential By Norman Vincent PealeThinking About Money The Rich Dad, Poor Dad Way (Book Review)80/20 Individual By Richard Koch (Book Excerpt) [...]

5 Ways To Emerge Stronger When Your Best Is Not Good Enough

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 02:44:00 +0000

I have a friend who is a really good dancer. She recently participated in a dance sport championship and despite her training and preparation, she ended up fourth. When I talked to her after words, I could sense the disappointment when she told me, “My best wasn’t good enough”.....In my experience, it's usually something of a personal nature that carries over into every aspect of our lives. Sometimes, no matter what we do, it's just feels not good enough.“I'm trying my best at work and I still feel like a failure all the time.......”“I study so hard but my grades are still low”“I’m doing my best to make this relationship work, but it’s not going anywhere”[your story here!]Surely, you’ve had moments where you felt your best was not good enough? You felt helpless and couldn’t really figure out what to do next?Well, here are some steps you can take when you find yourself such a situation. This is a list of options to consider; to help you decide what your next step will be.1. Don’t quitThis may seem obvious but when you feel defeated, this is the first thing that comes to mind. You start questioning your abilities and wonder whether you are on the right track etc.If you feel you have potential to improve, you need to keep working toward that objective. 2. Recite affirmations about your worth and capabilities.When you get that feeling of “not being good enough”, you start being your worse critic. The mind becomes a battlefield of negative thoughts.Remind yourself, “I know I can do it”. If not, your inner critic will say, “Who are you kidding, you have never done this before. What makes you think you’re going to do it now?”Read more on how to Give Yourself An Attitude Tune-Up3. Evaluate what you need to learn and improveLeaving pity talk aside, what really is the reason that you feel you are not good enough. What are the things you need to learn, practice and put into action? Is there a way to measure progress? Revisit your goals and ambitions; you need to develop a personal plan for continuous improvement.4. Raise your standardsWhatever you have in life, you have got everything you deserve because the actions you have taken to date, have produced it. These are the standards that you have to set for yourself; until now, and until you do something different you will not get a different result. Only when you raise that standard yourself can you expect to raise your expectations.5.Use motivational quotes to keep you goingI like to keep track of quotes that really speak to me and give me a different perspective. I’ve written about it before. Check these out.. (in case you’ve missed these previous posts)7 Effective Uses Of Quotes That Will Make You Memorable, Motivated & Healthier Inspirational Quotes To Get You Through The Toughest Of DaysHave you ever been struck with the feeling that you best wasn’t good enough? Howe did you recover? What did you do? Leave a comment and let me know.Related PostsGetting Past Your Past, Is It Really Possible?The 5 Emotions That Drag Us Down Or Shape Our DestinyAre You Constantly At The Mercy Of Circumstances?Jumpstart Your Initiative, You Have Waited Long Enough [...]

When The Right Decision Turns Out To Be Wrong

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 13:51:00 +0000

I recently bought a new sofa and I had put off buying throw pillows until I enough coins in my saving jar! I was happy (and proud!) that after a few months of saving I could finally afford the throw pillows. So yesterday I went to the store and was looking over the various pillows. My sofa's fabric is a sage paisley pattern with brown and burgundy accents. After much deliberation (and annoyance to the sales lady!) I decided to go with plush brown pillows. After returning home I soon realized that the brown didn't coordinate nicely with the couch. I had to make another trip to the store, pleaded with my most charming smile and managed to exchange the brown with some burgundy pillows. Yap that looked quite lovely with the sofa!This is an example of a decision that was easily reversed.We often have to make decisions upon something in life. Those things could be important matters or trivial ones and sadly life doesn't always seem to allow a retreat option in decision making.I may not be the best person to offer anyone sage advice regarding decision making. But I do think it is an issue that each of us are faced with on a daily basis throughout our lifetimes and thus worth discussion. I often tell people that caution is my middle name since I can sit on making a decision for a very long time before acting upon it.We often make the decision thinking it’s the “right”/best/ suitable decision. Sometimes, it is. Other times, it turns out the be the wrong one. Yes, the right decision, turned out to be wrong. What was the last decision that you made that turned out to be wrong? Looking back at it now, why did the decision turn out to be wrong?1. Did you rush into the decision?2. Did you let emotions sway the decision?3. Didn’t you consider all possibilities?4. Did you have sufficient information to make the decision?5. Did other people influence the decision?6. Did you take the “comfortable” decision because you were afraid of other options?There ain't no answer. There ain't going to be any answer. There neverhas been an answer. That's the answer. ~Gertrude SteinRelated PostsDecision Making On Money, Love, Work & Health: Why Decisions Errors Are Made6 Steps To Achieve Better Self DisciplineThe 5 Emotions That Drag Us Down Or Shape Our DestinyAre You Constantly At The Mercy Of Circumstances? [...]

Get That Happy Friday Feeling At The Beginning Of The Week

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 14:28:00 +0000

It’s Monday morning and I hit the “snooze” button twice, then finally got myself off the bed (At the start of the week, whatever side of the bed you get out of, usually feels like the wrong one!). My eyes were still closed as my feet slid across the floor on my way to the bathroom. My thought process seemed to have awakened and it was yapping away..“Four more days until its Saturday again; I have five more months until my vacation, and there is another thirty six years until I retire! “How is it that some people can get out of bed early and start their day with a smile, while others don’t speak in the morning until they get to work?Side note: According to Depak chopra, more people have heart attacks on Monday morning rather than any other time.I wish we could hit rewind and relive the relaxation of our weekends. Nice.. back to earth, surely, there must be better ways to make the start of the week feel less like a marathon! After some reading on the internet it seems we can eliminate some of the stress with a few tricks, put into practice over the weekend and first thing Monday morning.1. Keep it clean on Friday evenings!Before you leave the office on Friday, make sure 1. To write the to do list for Monday2. To De-clutter your desk3. That you inbox is clear leaving only the weekend’s emails to read on Monday.2. Sleep “right” during the weekend!Most people use the weekends as a time period to “catch-up” on sleep they missed during the week. Although I am far from a sleep expert, I disagree with this notion of catching up on missed sleep. I have found that this often throws off my sleep cycle making Monday’s wake up much more difficult.Make sure you start winding down for bed at a reasonable hour to allow enough time for a healthy night’s sleep. 3. Choose your weekend activities wisely What you do during the weekend has a big impact on the days to follow. Are you painting the walls, going rock climbing etc… don’t misunderstand; I am not implying that you should not do these things. Just, span them in a manner that is less exerting for you.If you sit in front of the television glued to a couch most of the time… definitely, Monday is going to hard! Also, if there are TV programs that run late on Sunday night, record them and watch over the week. Think when you drink(ahem..)4. Over the weekend, pick what you will wear on MondayThis can be a source of much apprehension (and annoyance) on mornings just after shower. To solve this, try to decide the night before what you're going to wear and put them in a separate area of the closet, away from the rest of your clothes. Promise yourself that ensemble is exactly what you will put on that day. No use preparing if you'll be changing your mind in the morning!5. Get out of the bed immediately once you hear the alarmWhen you hear the alarm in the morning, the voice in your head is just coaxing you to go to sleep despite your best intents to want to wake up (Don't think about how nice your bed feels..there are better feelings out there!). Instead of giving it the chance to speak, immediately get your physical body out of the bed and walk out! Once you last the first 5 minutes, you will find that sleepiness wears off very quickly and the day actually moves ahead as your other days.Finally…Your mornings set the tone for the rest of the day. A carefree and lazy start may be a relaxing way to start your day but it tends to result in a s[...]

How Much Control Do We Really Have Over Our Own Lives?

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 16:57:00 +0000

Playing with the cards we are dealt withLife consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. ~Josh BillingsWhen any year begins everyone is filled with good cheer and look forward to the days with much hope. You feel as if you have a handful of Ace’s. But as each day unfolds, the cards you receive are different. Sometimes, you think ahead and can predict what cards you get; other times, you know what card you need to play to get the card you want. The rest of time, no matter what we had planned and no matter how much you try to control the cards you get, life seemed to have its own plans!How much control do we really have over our own lives? I guess this is the “fate or destiny” question. I’ve casually philosophized about it before but this time it’s personal. I’m not trying to be whiny so please excuse me if I come off that way, but lately I find that when I sit back and “let things fall into place” they really don’t, and when I “take control of my life” I’m only in control of so much.A conversation with my positive attitude(PA) kicks in, PA: Your mind and your spirit are of you.The drive and determination you have to achieve something true and real, is only successful, if you can take a look at the world around you and realize that it, is out of control, not you.You have control over your life. You control what you think. You control how you ac , how you look and you control the people that you have in your life. Note: by control, I mean "who", not forcing people to do stuff against their will. me: But how do I know if I am in control?PA:well, If you can be quiet, inside of your own mind, with it yelling back at you. You are in Geeze, my mind is always yelling at me, I must be crazy!PA:You aren't Crazy, You are in more control.That control is an integral part of your life, what you think, and how you feel, is YOURS No one else’s. NO ONE else put that thought into your head and if they did, congratulate them for planting some seeds!me: Silent for now…Related PostsExpectations: Is It A Human Weakness?Are You Practicing Being Unhappy?Do You Belong?The Rules For Being Human! Do You Comply? [...]