2016-09-10T13:59:45.765+01:00While this blog lays fallow my hobby hopping brain isn't, I have decided on a new blog charting my foray into 3D printing.
2015-06-29T11:30:04.151+01:00“I’m not going in there, I’m scared” height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/SSDOxlVYZiw" frameborder="0" width="640" allowfullscreen> Take a group of Australian 20 something's, throw in an inexplicable American girlfriend and send them to a farm where something nasty happened. Charlie's farm is a slasher in the grand old tradition of “stupid teens get chopped up” updated to make the teens slightly older (which is a good idea as Tara Reid is nearly 40 now). Its gorgeous to watch with all of the complaints I have about Hollywood horror addressed. Lighting is excellent, effects are almost all practical (or very good CGI) and exceptionally gory. I cant remember the soundtrack vastly so it obviously fitted well with the movie and was not overbearing or jarring as they often are. Pacing is also good with early flashbacks juicing up the pre-massacre scenes. That's the good bit done. The acting is truly abysmal from some quarters (not saying any Tara Reids) and the plot is weak to say the least. My favourite plothole/inexplicable behaviour is how 2 women will agree to travel 100s of miles across Australia to see a site where horrific things happened and then refuse to go inside! Although its nice to see Kane (Jason Vorhees) Hodder without a mask I also feel his inclusion was really so that the makers could say that Charlie is bigger! If anything is learnt from the movie it is these 3 facts. 1) Tara Reid really cannot act 2) Fat repulsive men (that is how he is written) pull hot chicks if they have big dicks 3) The effects crew need a better gig, they are outstanding. Charlie’s farm is one of those odd DVD/streaming releases which I don't believe went to theatres. If you can find it cheap and you like a mindless slash check it out. Despite the sub par plot and acting its still 1000 x better then anything that Hollywood are churning out right now. IMDB [...]
2015-06-03T10:26:10.022+01:00I am currently having a bathroom fitted. Its a full refit and the work has been ongoing for a week now. I have brushed my teeth and washed in the kitchen sink for a week as I have no working wash basin. I had my first bath for days yesterday. The fitter should be coming to finish today but still isn't here. Suffice to say I am irritable. width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XdjFcoe2950" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>What better catharsis then a really bad horror movie? Actually a film as terrible as the Poughkeepsie Tapes is a terrible catharsis. I am currently employing the alternative route. Internet vitriol coupled with 1980s Iron Maiden played far too loud. The Poughkeepsie Tapes is an attempt on a new type of found footage movie. This time is a videolog of a serial killers forays into torture and murder. The problem is the footage is terrible. Mr Killer man really should have invested in a better Camcorder because his is bloody terrible. In fact scratch that the whole film is terrible. There are initially quite gory scenes (if you can make them out in the gloom, grain and distortion) but then we progress onto talking heads and a whole lot of pallid exposition from really terrible actors. There are people that would argue that the movie was not released cinematically because of content concerns, it has only recently seen the light of day with “On Demand” video. I would argue that somebody looked at the pile of putrid shit they had made and decided it would be better abandoned. If you hate yourself and want to waste your life watch the movie. It adds nothing but more nausea to the whole found footage genre. PS: The wanker still isn't here. Fucking tradesmen. [...]
2014-11-21T13:32:19.167+00:00Next on our list of the greatest movies of all time is Zombeavers, the chilling story of…nah just kidding, its a schlock horror. Here is the trailer (WARNING CONTAINS GRATUITOUS BEAVER SHOTS) height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/F7fwT8gfa0A" frameborder="0" width="640" allowfullscreen> Zombeavers is a throwback to the campy terrible 80s horror movies like Ghoulies and Creepazoids. FIlms made on a low budget by passionate people that just wanted to give. Its a ludicrous idea and a hackneyed premise (horny teens on vacation) so must be terrible right? Well actually it was alright. Not great, not classic but alright in the same way I found Piranha 3D alright. Its self aware of it silliness and the acting is remarkably good. Effects are fine but the reliance on CGI in some long shots is less then effective, in fact if they had stuck to purely practical than the overall effect would have been far better. Zombeavers is definitely a polariser and I can see old schoolers like myself raised on the likes of Jason and Freddie enjoying it far more then the CGI spoiled brats of the Noughties. However the movie does have its flaws. It struggles to maintain steam after a while but does manage to pick up and limp to a quite nice and funny bookend of a conclusion and the aforementioned CGI is awful in the (thankfully) small amounts it appears. Model work is obvious but not terrible, after all Zombie Beavers! The movie is available on the UK version of youtube.com and on DVD/Blueray throughout most of Europe but oddly it looks like the US have to wait for a cinematic release! Watch it, its a nice time-passer. width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/m7yZ95jIYWI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen> [...]
2014-11-06T17:35:35.952+00:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) published what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time. 42e Some Like it Hot height="480" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/2OhdD5n405I" frameborder="0" width="640" allowfullscreen> I have witnessed a miracle. A BFI nomination that isn’t utter drek. Yes a GOOD film. Some Like it Hot is a great movie, I have to be very careful what I say however as a friend is a great fan of Ms Monroe… For example revealing that I have never seen it before may go down badly. Perhaps revealing that this was my first Monroe film even more so. But the ultimate, ultimate insult would probably be to say that she was the weakest part of the movie may result in a friendship termination! Luckily, despite the billing and the hype, Some Like it Hot is not Marilyn's movie. That honour goes to Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon who manage to perform the amazing feat of a transformation to female that, while ludicrously obvious, is one of the best I have seen. The story is simple. Two musicians go on the run hiding as women after witnessing the Valentines Day Massacre. Its witty and the comedic timing and script is sublime.So this is a shoe in for a top 50 movie right? Unfortunately Marilyn just derails it for me, how she managed to win a Golden Globe award for this baffles me. She is obviously spaced for a lot of the film and her interactions with the rest of the cast stilted to say the least. So much so that Holsten Pils could take the movie and edit in footage to create this ad ... height="480" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Jd0twblMeLk" frameborder="0" width="640" allowfullscreen> Its clear that she wasn't firing on all cylinders during the film, and when you are vying for a position in the top 50 films of all time then being gorgeous just doesn't cut it. Close but no Holsten Pils Actually that wont fly. I am overriding my decision and allowing it in. The film is funny, clever and well made despite the troubles from the star. Welcome into the top 50. Take a seat but mind the Xenomorph. RATINGS (at the time of publishing) IMDB readers give the movie 8.3RottenTomatoes rate it at 96%The BFI page. Next, something foreign. [...]
2014-11-02T17:57:57.814+00:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) published a list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time. They were generally bad. Here is the comparable IMDB list…. (list generated on 9/7/2014) Number 42: The Pianist height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/itR0-I9idXk" frameborder="0" width="560" allowfullscreen> A harrowing and outstanding true story (based on) The Pianist tells the story of Wladyslaw Szpilman a Jewish Pianist caught in the heart of Nazi ethnic cleansing. Following Szpilman and his family as the world descends into madness it is an intrigueing view from inside of the Warsaw Ghettos and Jewish persecution. The film is harrowing and compelling, all the more so as it is based very firmly on Szpilmans book which in itself is as true an account as you can get. Roman Polanskis direction is outstanding as always however unfortunately the model and effects work are not quite convincing and almost too ambitious to convince. The movie is certainly outstanding but sadly not top 50 outstanding. Telling the fascinating story of one mans survival through the persecution of the Jews its almost obscene to say that it didn't quite hit for that very reason. One mans fight seeming rather petty and insignificant against such huge events. Reading that back that is as terrible a statement as it felt in my head but one I stick by. That aside The Pianist is a fantastic film and misses my list by a whisker. RATINGS (at the time of publishing) IMDB rates this at a fair 8.5 Rotten Tomatoes gives it a typically high 96%. The next stop on the list is Sunset Boulevard Depending on local agreements you may be able to watch The Pianist via YouTube. height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/oBllNQ90atk" frameborder="0" width="560" allowfullscreen> [...]
In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) published what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time.
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(image) I am starting to wonder just how far up their own arses the BFI actually are. The clip above (don't forget to turn the subs on) perfectly illustrates the entire movie. A person (normally Gertrud but they all do it) gazes into the middle distance wistfully spouting some archaic romance and “need” bullshit. Then positions will move and they will say more. There IS a story of such about how Gertrud is bored with her husband so wants another man who she gets bored with so wants another man. I am not sure how it ends because I binned it.
Yes I failed to watch another one of the greatest 50 movies ever made….
This is another Art House classic that is actually very, very shit.
IMDB rates this at a stupidly high 7.6 probably because the raters are all pretentious pratts. 2 from me.
Rotten Tomatoes gives it an equally high 78%. I think they missed the maggots. 20%.
Here is the BFI page for the movie.
I note the next on the list is a mainstream movie. Thank fuck.
2014-09-03T22:26:21.910+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) published a list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time. They were generally bad. Here is the comparable IMDB list…. (list generated on 9/7/2014) Number 43: Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb height="480" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/1gXY3kuDvSU" frameborder="0" width="640" allowfullscreen> Rule 1: I will now call the film by its short title “Dr Strangelove” as my keyboard will otherwise be unable to take the strain. Dr Strangelove undoubtedly has one of the most absurdly long titles ever given. This is in perfect keeping with the main thrust and absurdness of the film. Absurd in its reality that is. The movie is a comedy but also a nail-biting thriller and a social comment on the arms race. Carried by brilliant performance its a mainly set free affair and the effects budget is mainly spent on squibs and plane shots. When the Mad General Jack D Ripper uses a government passed backdoor to launch a bombing run on Russia involving all kinds of anti cancellation failsafe's the race against time starts to save the world. Sadly Russia has one upped the USA in the implementation of a doomsday “Dirty Bomb” that will wipe out all life on Earth should they be attacked… and it also cannot be stopped. With three great performances by Peter Sellers in different roles Dr Strangelove is a fantastically compelling movie that seems to grow in stature with every viewing, the last time watched it I found it good, this time excellent. Maybe next time it will make the top 50… but not today. You see the Cold War paranoia just doesn't hold the bite today that it did in the latter half of the 20th century. The remaining comedy, which is brilliantly staid and very, very, British and dry just doesn't have the weight to carry the rest of the film. RATINGS IMDB rate this movie at 8.5, its a fair ratingRotten Tomatoes give the film an impossible 100%. This is too high. So close to entry, this has been my hardest choice yet. With 7 films entered into the R@R list so far, what will be the next? [...]
Well here's an oddity. I don’t mean the film I mean this review. After nearly a year I am actually writing a non top 50 review. Well I couldn’t let the Hammer reviews fade could I?
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(image) Well here’s an oddity. Straying from the horror staple into Sci-Fi this remake of an earlier BBC serial is a film I fondly remember however on reviewing I find it quite dull. Perhaps its the flush of first horrors that give me such warm memories or that I cant accept what seems to be rather odd pacing.
The movie tells the tale of an alien spacecraft found during the renovation of a London tube station and the threat it still holds even after being buried for thousands of years. It is well filmed and acted but the build up to actually finding anything takes an age, then the film feels like it ends until the finale where all hell (almost literally) breaks loose. (image)
The finale of the movie when it occurs is excellent but it feels like a real slog to get there.
Its worth a look if you haven't seen it but oddly isn't the classic flick I remember from my (mis-spent) youth.
2014-08-29T21:43:30.945+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) published a list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time. They were generally bad. Here is the comparable IMDB list…. (list generated on 9/7/2014) Number 44: Apocalypse Now height="480" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/IkrhkUeDCdQ" frameborder="0" width="640" allowfullscreen> I knew that at some point I would hit the conundrum of Directors Cuts. After all which movie is the highly rated one? Some directors cuts are greatly different from the originals however this is not necessarily the version that is loved. The conclusion I came to was to use what is the generally most accepted version. In this case the feedback from IMDB forums indicated that the shorter theatrical release is the better film. This is the one I watched. Already inhabiting my personal list the biggest risk for Apocalypse Now was the chance of being marked down. I therefore had to watch with a very critical eye. I really don’t know why I worried, Yes sometime it is slow and ponderous and some scenes seem remarkably frivolous given the war context however that really is the point. The whole push is that war is insane and it makes us insane. Willards (Charlie Sheen) journey to confront the insane renegade Colonel Kurtz (Marlon Brando) is as much a journey into madness as the Colonels own life. Add to this some outstanding performances, amazingly apt and well produced sound and the most beautiful visuals Hollywood has ever produced and you have a film that really does deserve its place in the list. RATINGS (at the time of publishing) IMDB users acknowledge the horror at 8.5 I agree.Rotten Tomatoes give the film a napalm coated 99%. The film is far from perfect however and as 99% is almost perfect I cannot agree. I would rate it at a far more reasonable 85% They really do not make them like this anymore. Don’t take my word for it. Watch Apocalypse now on YouTube (depending on location) right now. height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/CCNImUCbe_U" frameborder="0" width="640" allowfullscreen> [...]
2014-08-18T12:05:00.784+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) published a list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time. They were generally bad. Here is the comparable IMDB list…. (list generated on 9/7/2014) Number 45: The Green Mile height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/uDybmxbKf4Y" frameborder="0" width="560" allowfullscreen> The Green Mile is a long movie, overly so at its 3 hour running time and this shows in its preponderance of slow and thoughtful scenes. Everything is given time to take hold. By God its magnificent. The Green Mile was already chosen for my personal list and viewing it simply strengthens that feeling. Stephen Kings source serialised novel was good but Frank Darabonts conversion to the screen makes it great. Never has Kings understanding of human nature and his almost mystical understanding of times and scenarios that he couldn’t possibly know about shone so brightly as it does here. This is simply the best adaptation of his out there. The story isn’t complex, it has few twists and the twist that everybody wants just doesn't happen. A wise man said “Sometimes bad things happen to good people” this movie illustrates that perfectly. RATINGS (at the time of publishing) IMDB users rate the movie at a fair 8.5, as i love it it gets a 9 from me.Rotten Tomatoes give it 80%, an unfairly low score. 90 % at least. Watch this movie. It truly deserves its place in the cinematic hall of fame. If you enjoy reading my blog please share it around. It makes me feel loved. [...]
2014-08-06T23:14:23.553+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) published what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time. 42c Pierrot le Fou height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/E81T4FUIz-I" frameborder="0" width="560" allowfullscreen>So here we go, it’s time for an actual movie by Jean-Luc Godard rather then a bizarre montage of seemingly unconnected images and sounds. Pierrot le Fou isn't far off from being exactly that. No direction, script, overall plan, coherence or plot the movie has left me yet again wondering if I am missing some sort of cultural centre in my brain. Something that takes things like this and interprets them as Art. The other alternative is even worse. The other alternative isn't that I am wrong but that all the people that rave about works like this are wrong. Its them that have the malfunctioning Brains. Perhaps a fault in the brain that lets dissonant soundtracks, Bizarre occurrences and completely illogical progressions acceptable. Don't get me started on the bizarre and out of place musical numbers and the perfectly timed coincidences that make Skyfall look random or the bizarrely acceptable French racism toward America. To me Cinema is a storytelling medium that can be both audibly and visually stunning. Without storytelling though its simply a hollow shell. A rotting corpse that has been well attended by the mortician. That is Godards work. He is the Michael Bay of French and Art-house Cinema, hiding utter trash behind pretty scenery and lovely colours. As to the top 50. Well what the fuck do YOU think. RATINGS (at the time of publishing) IMDB Users rate this movie at a ludicrous 7.8. As it is fucking terrible I give it 2Rotten Tomatoes give it an equally ludicrous 85%. I say 20% and 18 of that is because Anna Karina is pretty.The BFI page for the movie is HERE. I would rather stick scissors in my eyes than watch this movie again. [...]
2014-08-03T19:24:15.056+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) published a list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time. They were generally bad. Here is the comparable IMDB list…. (list generated on 9/7/2014) Number 46: The Departed Martin Scorsese. Need I say more. The Departed is Scorseses take on the undercover cop with the added spin of an undercover gangster. Lets watch the trailer… height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/SGWvwjZ0eDc" frameborder="0" width="560" allowfullscreen> The Departed is a slickly written and directed tale as we would expect from Martin Scorsese. It boasts quite the roster of names including Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, Martin Sheen, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ray Winstone, Alec Baldwin… well you get the idea. The movie sets a fantastic pace and is tense and exciting at all the right places. I would class it as a must watch and a fantastic movie. But its not a top 50 I am sorry but the accents and twisted plot derail it somewhat for me. Its a great movie, a great watch but if i had to choose my top 50 (which I do) it wouldn't be there… and it won’t be. On that down note… get a copy. RATINGS (at the time of publishing) IMDB users rate The Departed at a Borstornian 8.5 and I do not disagree. Rotten Tomatoes hands the stoolie a well deserved 92%. It feels churlish to deny such an undeniably good film a place on the hallowed list. But a line must be drawn and The Departed missed it by a fingernail. LINKS IMDBROTTEN TOMATOES If you enjoy reading my blog please share it around. It makes me feel loved. [...]
2014-07-28T22:19:37.752+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) polled 846 critics, programmers, academics and distributors to update their list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time (to date).In 2014 I decided to watch them. Number 42b: Playtime Here we are again. Yet another “Timeless masterpiece” that is not worth the celluloid it was filmed on. I honestly expected to enjoy this one. Monsieur Hulot was apparently the inspiration for Mr Bean and a spiritual successor to The Little Tramp. I call “conneries”. The movie is so slow as to be genuinely tortuous has very little dialogue or even sound. Hulot has no character at all, there is absolutely no plot and if this is the definition of chaos than I know people who's lives are genuinely cataclysmic. However I must confess that the film has beaten me. I didn’t finish. I contest that any film that you can reach three quarters of the way through and feel like you want to eat the screen to stop the pain is NOT WORTH FINISHING. Utter, utter, utter merde. Do not bother. THIS MOVIE WILL NOT BE ON MY LIST. UNLESS IT’S A HIT LIST. Ratings IMDB rates this film at a truly ludicrous 8. 1 is more the mark. Rotten Tomatoes has it as 100% fresh. I wouldn’t throw it at Hitler in the stocks. 5% Links BFIIMDBROTTEN TOMATOES [...]
2014-07-23T15:41:24.651+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) polled 846 critics, programmers, academics and distributors to update their list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time (to date).In 2014 I decided to watch them. Number 42a: Close-Up Is this actually a joke? Have I got the wrong film? Are the BFI on crack cocaine or LSD? These questions need answering. I HATED Close-Up but unlike Histoire(s) du Cinema I can’t seem to find anyone else that did. It is well respected on IMDB and the aforementioned BFI love it as do Rotten Tomatoes. In all honesty after about 20 minutes I really started to Google the movie to make sure I had the right one. I did. Its terrible. Close-up is a docudrama covering the trial of a man who is arrested for the heinous crime of impersonating an Iranian Director. Yes, really. That's it. Everyone plays themselves and it is intermingled with contemporary footage from the trial itself. Its still terrible. I actually I now question if I am half as intellectual as I think I am… or if I even want to be. I AM AS LIKELY TO HAVE ANGELS FLY OUT OF MY ARSE THEN TO INCLUDE THIS IN THE TOP 50. RATINGS (at the time of publishing) IMDB have the movie at an insane 8.2. I feel bad giving it more then 3! Rotten Tomatoes are insane with 87% i give it 25% LINKS BFIIMDBROTTEN TOMATOES THE SAMARITANS [...]
2014-07-21T16:20:39.028+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) polled 846 critics, programmers, academics and distributors to update their list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time (to date).In 2014 I decided to watch them. 4 films in I discovered they were artistic pieces that the common man would generally detest. Hence this “fun list” (list generated on 9/7/2014) Number 47: Gladiator Reader I am afraid I have a confession to make. Two films in a row now I have caught myself trying to write off classic films and deny them their place on the list. In the case of Back to the Future it was cinema snobbishness. With Gladiator its has been new=bad syndrome. What makes this crime the worst though is that I do love both of these films and why I would subconsciously want to deny them I do not know. In fact with that in mind I am off now to amend my personal list with a couple of other films my “critics head” was denying a place. While I do that you watch this trailer… height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/ol67qo3WhJk" frameborder="0" width="480" allowfullscreen> This is the second Ridley Scott film on the list and its no surprise that the ex BBC designer has such a stunning eye for detail. If you forgive Gladiator the inevitable factual problems (which and historical film must encounter) and the Hollywood fighting you can unearth what is actually rather a stunning film. Even Russell Crowe manages to be good and Oliver “what time of day is it I am pissed” Reed turns in a stunning (final) performance. The plot is relatively simple and is covered very much in the trailer. There isn't much that happens that you do not expect and yet the film still moves well and is a visual and audible work of art. RATINGS (at the time of publishing) IMDB users rate Gladiator at a forum rousing 8.5 and I do not disagree. Rotten Tomatoes insults the Emperor with 76% I sentence them to death 84% will do. Yet again my intelligentsia gene tries to override my “Damn Good Film” chromosome and yet again it fails. Welcome to the Top 50 Gladiator, you can sit next to Alien. LINKS IMDBROTTEN TOMATOES Next comes a film I haven’t seen before. The question is does “The Departed” earn a place or not? [...]
2014-07-19T16:33:15.752+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) polled 846 critics, programmers, academics and distributors to update their list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time (to date).In 2014 I decided to watch them. 4 films in I discovered they were artistic pieces that the common man would generally detest. Hence this “fun list” (list generated on 9/7/2014) Number 48: Back to the Future height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/qvsgGtivCgs" frameborder="0" width="560" allowfullscreen> I was fully ready to ruffle feathers with this one, after all surely this and Star Wars, 2001 etc. should be a shoe in for inclusion. I wasn’t so sure and did not include the movie in my personal list. This was a deliberate decision, something in me honestly decided it wasn't worthy. Why? On watching with a critical eye it is clear that there actually isn't much in Back to the Future that warrants such prejudice. The film is actually a fantastic romp and a very original take on time travel. The plot has its holes (and they are already large without the addition of the following instalments) but the acting is superb and style fantastic. About halfway through something snapped. My mind rebelled and you know what? Goddamnit it DOES deserve its place on the list. Please set a place for Back to the Future, it is joining our party. RATINGS (at the time of publishing) IMDB users rate Back to the Future at a respectful 8.5 and I do not disagree. Rotten Tomatoes loves it at 96% which is a little fresh 89% will do The project was intended to make me think about movies both familiar and unknown. I didn't expect to revaluate something I thought I knew so well. LINKS IMDBROTTEN TOMATOESI don't think the next film will be a mind changer however good it is… You can watch Back to the Future on YouTube (dependant on region) for a small fee. height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/EBTKoUxhbJk" frameborder="0" width="560" allowfullscreen> [...]
The trawl through the greatest movies cinema can bring continues with gusto. It has lead me to some dangerous and personal thinking.
I make these judgements on other peoples lists but what about my own list? Well I can reveal that there WILL be one. I am working on it now, however I am including some very special rules…
So far films that will be included are
Films that WONT be making my list:
I am open to any suggested rules or inclusions…
2014-07-11T21:34:48.847+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) polled 846 critics, programmers, academics and distributors to update their list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time (to date).In 2014 I decided to watch them. 4 films in I discovered they were artistic pieces that the common man would generally detest. Hence this “fun list” (list generated on 9/7/2014) Number 49: Alien height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/LjLamj-b0I8" frameborder="0" width="560" allowfullscreen> The term Masterpiece is bandied around far too often for my liking, given the number of films released since the dawn of cinema you would expect ALL of these top 50 to be masterpieces. I would love to say Alien is one of these Masterpieces but… aw hell who am I kidding. Alien deserves its place on this list and its inclusion at number 49 is bound to raise my ire against less deserving efforts for Alien truly is a Masterpiece. Like all masterpieces it has its flaws of course. Sometimes Giger’s brilliant alien design is all too clearly a man in a suit and very rarely an effect isn’t quite as effective as it should be but Alien is an almost perfect movie, its sound design is flawless and immersive, score understated but effective, lighting is spot on and enhances every scene. The set design is amazing giving a very real feeling to the Nostromo and the shuttle. The movie is paced wonderfully, the story is simple but original with the concept of a gritty space crew something rarely encountered before, in a world were sci-fi meant sleek Alien had the nerve to imagine a future were the shine has worn off and spaceships are a bit..well…crappy. RATINGS (at the time of publishing) IMDB currently have the film at a reasonable 8.5. My score is 9 I really don’t think a perfect movie will ever be, or can ever be made. Rotten Tomatoes have the film at a well deserved 97% and you know what. I agree with them. 35 years on Alien is still truly gorgeous, I wish they still made them like this. LINKS IMDB ROTTEN TOMATOES Maybe the general public of the world do know a great film from a CGI laden pig. I am familiar with the next movie as well. Its not a spoiler if I say I am not going to mind watching it one tiny bit. [...]
2014-07-10T21:14:06.681+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) polled 846 critics, programmers, academics and distributors to update their list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time (to date).In 2014 I decided to watch them. No 48b in our list is the hugely brave and thought provoking “The Battle of Algiers” coming just 4 years after the declaration of Algerian Independance from over 130 years of French Colonial occupation the movie shows the battle against teh French rule by nationalist Muslims. Utilising bombs, police shooting and other very familiar forms of terrorism the movie is a very uncomfortable watch. This is primarily because of the undeniable balance portrayed in the mive with atrocities being performed on both sides. The methods used to gain “freedom” and the methods used to retain rule are both stark and disturbing and the images portrayed evoke memories of bombings in the UK and America and the troubles in Ireland. In the same vein as Schindlers List, The Battle of Algiers is one of those films that isn’t particularly enjoyable to watch but it is one of those films that you really should. Extremism and anti-terrosim have never been as topical as it is today and if there is one thing the Moive makes clear there really are no easy solutions. An uncomfortable inclusion to the list but another film that may have justified its position. RATINGS (at the time of publishing) IMDB currently have the film at a reasonable 8.2. My score is 8. Rotten Tomatoes have the film at a stunning 99% fresh. I would be a little more conservative with 85% The Battle of Algiers is essential but uncomfortable viewing. You can do that right here thanks to the magic of YouTube. height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/4xPlFCLSf8c" frameborder="0" width="560" allowfullscreen> LINKS BFI IMDB ROTTEN TOMATOES Next jump straight to the number 42 ties and jump forward 24 years to 1990s “Close-Up” [...]
2014-07-09T14:48:44.623+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) polled 846 critics, programmers, academics and distributors to update their list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time (to date).In 2014 I decided to watch them. 4 films in I discovered they were artistic pieces that the common man would generally detest. Hence this “fun list” (list generated on 9/7/2014) The first stop on this ‘ere fun list is in Gotham City for Number 50, Christopher Nolans “The Dark Knight Rises” and the syndrome that I knew would plague the IMDB list and prompted my decision to do the BFI list in the first place has already reared it ugly head. I call it “Blockbuster Blindness” and I will talk about it more later. Firstly, though, lets look at the Trailer. height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/GokKUqLcvD8" frameborder="0" width="560" allowfullscreen> I cannot dwell on this review as there really is so much at fault with this movie that I am actually outraged that it made the top 50 movies of all time. In fact lets bullet point it. I like bullet points. Would it have hurt to give Catwoman a costume? Talking of hurting, how EXACTLY does Banes mask “stop his pain” and why IS he freakishly strong? Venom doesn't seem to be in the film so it isn't that. If Bruce went into reclusiveness 8 years ago how di he fund and develop a super energy source 3 years ago? If the explosion of said energy source is so weak that flying it away from the city for a minute or so stops it having any harmful effects then surely it is still a damn site safer then the methods currently in usage. Why were Daggets company being paid to pour explosive cement anyway? All of the cities police went underground. Really. There was nobody in the stations, manning cells? Crossing patrols or traffic officers? None at all? Suspension bridges don't fall down if you blow a chunk out of the roadway. Well waddayaknow. How is Death by Exile worse then summery shooting? Who put the scarecrow in charge of justice anyway and more importantly why would a homocidal fear obessed maniac actually want to do this? How on earth does “The Bat” in essance a flying tank actually keep up? Why does Gotham City just look like New York now? Its a bit … dull. Wont turning Wayne Manor into an orphanage mean the eventual discovery of the Batcave? How does the reduction of Civil Liberties actually result in a crime free Gotham (New York) Why does anyone even bother following Bane when there is a chance of having you neck snapped by his freakishly (unexplained) strength. Where is the prison and why doesn't Banes accent reflect his upbringing there? How does Bane eat and drink? Why does the reactor core have an accurate countdown timer just like a bomb? How exactly to the impossible bike wheels work? I really cannot see the physics on that one? How did Selina manage to get chosen to be the person to take Bruce his food? Why did none of the prisoners in “The Pit” engineer climbing gear and leave? Where did the food and water come from in “The Pit” Where did all the shit go from “The Pit” How did Bane just stroll into the players tunnel of an American Football match? Why did the stock exchange honour transactions that were clearly fraudulent? I mean they had a break in and everything… The police were called! Top 50 film of all time? No fucking way! Like a lot of “Blockbusters” and “Epics” today you could use this movie to soak up the Indian Ocean it has so many holes in it. Entertainin[...]
2014-07-03T20:50:02.817+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) polled 846 critics, programmers, academics and distributors to update their list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time (to date).In 2014 I decided to watch them. I have actually discovered that I hate at least 30 members of the BFI voting panel. I mean, seriously? Shall I elucidate? Of course I will this is actually a one way conversation. Perhaps I am being pretentious? Ahhhhh pretentious. That's a nice word isn't it? In 1988 Pretentious French Pratt Jean-Luc Godard decided to take upon himself the mammoth task of detailing the History of Cinema. He produced an excellent 8 part documentary detailing the rise of the silve….. oh hang on. He produced a startling montage of imagery that excites the senses and titillates the…. wait. He made the biggest pile of shit I have ever seen and I include the Triceratops dung pile in Jurassic Park. Godard's “Masterpiece” is a totally unwatchable melange of indecipherable images, sounds, muttering and audio effects. I imagine a mixing desk given to a troupe of ADHD baboons on speed would have provided a far more enjoyable experience. When I embarked on this task I truly didn't expect to encounter such an execrable turd. Godard seems to think the rapidly wiping between hardcore pornography (in oh so artful black and white) and death camp victims while he mutters about some shit or other while chewing a big fucking cigar and using the most annoying electronic typewriter in the word is art. Well fuck you Godard. Oh and by the way the cinematic output of the UK dropped during the war because we were busy liberating Europe from the Nazi menace that had totally walked over the bunch of Surrender Monkeys to our south. I attach a short YouTube clip to illustrate what the experience of Histoire(s) du Cinémas is like. It is not recommended for viewing by anyone with eyes or ears. height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/GvmTyzMrEXU" frameborder="0" width="480" allowfullscreen> RATINGS (at the time of publishing) IMDB list this movie under its sub sections: Histoire(s) du cinéma: Toutes les histoires 7.3 Histoire(s) du cinéma: Une histoire seule 7.3 Histoire(s) du cinéma: Seul le cinéma 7.3 Histoire(s) du cinéma: Fatale beauté 7.4 Histoire(s) du cinéma: La monnaie de l'absolu 7.4 Histoire(s) du cinéma: Le contrôle de l'univers 7.3 Histoire(s) du cinéma: Les signes parmi nous 7.4 Histoire(s) du cinéma: Une vague nouvelle 7.4 I rate all of it 1. Seriously Rotten Tomatoes is a nightmare to find it on. Suffice to say. I vote it at most at 5% and that's because I appreciate work went into it. I doubt that this heap of waste even really qualifies for the criteria of a movie given that it is an 8 part straight to video “thing” but if it does it really isn’t one of the top 50 films of all time. I honestly would not wipe my arse with it. Which is good because its not absorbent. BFI IMDB Toutes les histoires, Une histoire seule, Seul le cinéma, Fatale beauté, La monnaie de l'absolu, Le contrôle de l'univers, Les signes parmi nous, Une vague nouvelle. Rotten Tomatoes NO LINK Number 48b will be another foreign film, after this it cannot be too bad. Surely, please. Its the 1966 movie “The Battle of Algiers” (La BATTAGLIA DI ALGERI). The next post will be on the sister list however and I am much more confidant that film 50 on the IMDB list will be far more enjoyable. It’s 2012s “The Dark Knight [...]
In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) polled 846 critics, programmers, academics and distributors to update their list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time (to date).
In 2014 I decided to watch them.
4 films in I discovered they were artistic pieces that the common man would generally detest. Hence this “fun list”
I will now be interspersing the BFI “critics” choices with the equivalent IMDB “popular opinion” picks. Hopefully this will stop me from slitting my own throat. However as the public have notoriously bad taste I cannot guarantee this.
One thing to note. The IMDB list is organic and therefore subject to change. Because of the nature of people new films often make oddly high appearences. I am working form the list as it was on 29th/06/14 1900 GMT.
Number 50- The Dark Knight Rises
2014-06-28T22:42:11.394+01:00In 2012 the BFI (British Film Institute) polled 846 critics, programmers, academics and distributors to update their list of what, in the experts opinion, are the greatest Movies of all time (to date).In 2014 I decided to watch them. Number 50c (tied): City Lights This is the third film Tied at number 50, as we get higher up the list it should become less confusing. height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/X_W1tOngo-w" frameborder="0" width="480" allowfullscreen> Charlie Chaplins steadfast adherence to the silent movie format may seem bizarre at a time when the talkie was…well…. all the talkie of Hollywood (sorry) but as a pinnacle of a stellar career City Lights was well worth making. The is a saying that I may have just made up. It goes “If you can do something well don't fuck about”, this is definitely an adage that Mr C took and ran with. City Lights is a true joy, its a well planned melee of situational and physical comedy with a poise and grace mixed with a level of pathos that only a few have ever been able to carry off successfully. Charlie Chaplin is one of those geniuses. City Lights follows the story of The Little Tramp as he meets and falls for a blind flower seller, parallel with a brilliantly portrayed friendship with a Jekyll and Hyde drunkard millionaire. An archetype that I know well! All this is perfectly played to the soundtrack with subtle and some not so subtle effects cues. RATINGS (at the time of publishing) IMDB currently have the film at a well deserved 8.6. My score is 9. Rotten Tomatoes have the film at a slightly high 98% fresh. I would be a little more conservative with 93% Coming at the conclusion of the silent era it shouldn’t come as any surprise that City Lights is a masterpiece in the genre and the first on the list that deserves that top 50 position. LINKS BFI IMDB ROTTEN TOMATOES We are back in France for Number 48 (these tied votes are killing me). The year is 1998 and the movie(s) Jean-Luc Godard’s “Histoire(s) du cinéma” a 4 volume, 8 chapter, 4 and a half hour epic that is reportedly an auditory and visual assault on the senses. Great. [...]