2007-01-16T19:04:49.756-08:00So all this Nick Saban / Bama stuff has fascinated me. I'm no huge Saban fan but I likethe guy ok. I don't think we shoulda paid that kind of bucks for him but so be it - the majority of the money comes from boosters anyway. Not like their stealing for the university system or anything. More on Saban later.
2006-12-15T19:43:32.303-08:00Musical tastes change over time. Through the years there are certain bands or albums which I thought I liked - but it turns out I really don't and never truly did. On the contrary, there are those I always disliked but, as it turns out, I actually do like them and probably have for a while. Some I have always liked but wasn't really "in to" heavily but have grown to become a huge fan. It's funny how tastes change over time. Of course a band or album may have a special place because of when I heard it - back in my youth - maybe it brings up certain great memories - but in retrospect I might think the music really sucks. The list (only partial here) of bands I once thought I liked but no longer do is much longer than the other list - but this is only natural, I guess.
2006-12-04T13:39:58.593-08:00I was starting to think that Robert Palmer wrote songs specifically to confuse me when I remembered that Get it On (Bang a Gong) was not only written and performed years earlier, by T. Rex, but that Palmer's version was while he was part of Power Station - the '80's not-so-super group with 2 double Durans and some guy from the band Chic plus Palmer himself. Anyways, that song Get It On gets me. I have gotten it on many times. I have banged a gong, I think, one time. It was in a music shop in Birmingham called Nuncies back in the 80's. Is banging gongs something I'm supposed to relish? Is it something which enhances joy or the exuberance of youth? There's never been a situation where I had even the remotest possibility to both get it on and bang a gong simultaneously. Was Palmer suggesting that I bang a gong whilst getting it on? I guess it would be sort of a dramatic finish. The rest of the song makes fair sense to me. A lot of wearing black, dirty and sweet, you're my girl stuff. Kinda basic. Then I get really thrown off with "Well, you're built like a car...You got a hubcap diamond star halo....You're built like a car, oh yeah". Huh? First off is being 'built like a car' sexy? And what the hell is a hubcap diamond star halo? I guess I need to get out more. The next line proclaims "Well, you're an untamed youth.....That's the truth, with your cloak full of eagles." Eagles get me hard... Especially cloakfulls.
2006-12-01T13:45:15.343-08:00I've only recenlty become aware of the concept of 'no true Scotsman'.
2006-11-21T06:15:52.333-08:00I have never completely understood what Robert Palmer meant by "She's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went".
2006-11-17T13:39:17.096-08:00For some reason I have had this dialogue stuck in my head all day. It's from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
2006-11-03T08:17:20.220-08:00Yesterday someone had the unfortunate luck of saying to me that I did not know "shit from Shinola". My retort went something like this:
2006-10-31T12:54:35.043-08:00Thall shalt not apply Preparation H before you have wiped yourself.
2006-10-30T13:42:15.326-08:00Perhaps Shula read my open letter - monumentally unlikely!! I watched the game against the football powerhouse that is Florida International this weekend and was surprised to see some of the things I wrote about come to fruition..firstly...Darby only had 10 carries. Now, of course, one could say the Shula was 'saving' his "star" running back for the next three games... But I think not. Other than 1 long gain and 1 or 2 medium yardage gains Darby did his usual hop, skip, and fall routine. The best run of the day came through a hole in the line the size of a Cadillac Escalade. I think Shula may be slowly.... creepingly... Shifting the running game away from Darby... I can dream at least.Castille did his normal battering ram runs - good for what it is.secondly...Jimmy Johns had 9 carries with only 22 yards to show.. It's true... It's true... But, Johns got the most of the running calls during the second half when the Tide enjoyed a comfy lead and all the freshmen and 3rd stringers were in there. He was somewhat of a sacrificial back at that point.. I still say He Da Man. Did you see him taking the snap during that series after Wilson was shaken up?... Let him throw the ball as well... Why the hell not? Can he be that bad of a passer? But please..... Shula, Please........ Don't run a quarterback keeper 3 times in a row with Johns. Fool them once, fool them twice, the third time their gonna get him for a loss... And they did.. No shit!thirdly...Redzone offense was better but third downs are still ATROCIOUS!!!!! Of the 3 offensive touchdowns 2 came from short yardage passes - 9 and 6 yards.... See there Shula old pal... You can get short yardage gains without the old run it up the middle routine.. Short yardage 3rd down plays - 2 for 6 (the two converted were passes). 3rd downs ,in general, were ugly - 3 for 13 - aaaagh. But at least you are spreading the ball out in the air with 8 different players having a reception.. Good job.fourthly...Wilson. Not a bad outing for the youngster, 8 of 13 - and one of the incompletes in the hands of would've been a 20 yard+ td but apparently McCoy can't catch a ball thrown directly into his hands.... Not the real McCoy on Saturday. Great job on not letting Wilson throw down field!!! He only threw 1 ball past 25 yards and it was, surprise, underthrown. Luckily we got an interference call on it and got some yards anyhow. How many defensive pass interference calls were there on FIU? At least 5 I think - that shows that our receivers were getting open and beating the coverage.. Good job.lastly...growing a pair of balls. Perhaps you have coach.. Perhaps you have. I sit here today honestly impressed at some of your calls. Sure, we were playing FIU and were never in danger of a come from behind routing.. But still... Good calls. Not only did you go for it on 4th down - but you did it 3 times. One the opponent 1 yard line - fuckin' A ,coach. 4th and 7, on the FIU 28 with 8 minutes to go in the 4th (up by 27 points) - you go for it on 4th - double fuckin' A, coach. Now that's some aggressive football - something Bowden would do - I like it... Keep it up. Just work on those 3rd down plays.All in all I think my letter to Mike helped out.Here's tips for this weeks match up:Be overly aggressive.. Sylvester is begging for his first SEC win and they just may be hungry enough to fight for it. You need to whip our guys into a bloodthirtsy frenzy - we need a huge scoring, brutal hitting game to carry our team into the following 2 games. Facing LSU and Auburn after routing 2 teams would be perfect. Facing them after narrowly winning against Crooms' 8-23 record is like fighting Holyfield after barely winning a fight against Rick Allen (yes, the one armed drummer for Def Leppard) - no offence, Rick.[...]
2006-10-26T12:43:27.746-07:00You ever wonder why we use so many different names for groups of animals? I do... All the time.. I'm wondering it right now when I should be doing something "work" related at my desk. Nevertheless.....
2006-10-22T19:11:36.226-07:00Dear Coach Shula,
2006-10-18T17:37:19.376-07:00I have recently had the urge to write down (on paper of sorts) my daily witticisms, recollections, musings, introspective criticisms, and religious deliberations. But I have decided not to as I cannot decide between starting a diary, journal, memoir, annal(s), daybook, chronicle, log, record, notebook, register, minutes, or remembrance.
2006-09-27T07:22:42.823-07:00Today I have issue with some sports terminology. Whilst watching Bama make a charitable contribution by handing the game to Arkansas last weekend one play stuck in my mind. It was when a receiver (could have been a back) ran 10 yards downfield, turned around, caught the ball with two feet down, and fell on his back at which time the ball came loose. Ever since I was a young'en the rule was always having 1 foot down while in possession of the football (image) constitutes a catch. Period. Last year they threw in this little extra tid bit - the player must have possession AND demonstrate a "football move". Why? What was wrong with the 1 foot deal? And what exactly is a football move? I recall Troy Palamalu (Steelers) last year during the Colts playoff game dive for an interception: he dove, caught the ball clean, tucked it in his gut, rolled on his back, put one foot down solidly on the grass, started to stand, and when he planted his left foot to fully rise his knee knocked the ball out of his hand and he fumbled it - recovered b y another Steeler. Yet the officials claim it was an incomplete pass because there was no "Football Move". What the FUCK? In my Bama game example the guy clearly caught the ball and only lost it when he made contact with the ground. What kind of football move do they need to see when your falling full speed onto your back? And what if he caught the ball clean then did a river dance, or 5 jumping jacks? Is that possession or not because it wasn't officially a "football move"? And to make matters worse If the play happens at the sideline then only 1 foot will do, but if it's in "the middle of the field" then they must make a "football move".
2006-09-19T08:11:44.663-07:00What is the big deal about pointing at people? Why is it rude? If I need to identify a person to make a point during a conversation it seems perfectly reasonable to point at them. That's the most direct, efficient way to pick someone out of a crowd. Have you ever been insulted because someone had the audacity to point at you in public. I've never had someone sprint across a room to hit me like a line backer merely because I expanded a digit in their direction. Phalanges is a great word for the fingers. It's a pity we don't use it more often in our common speech. "Give them the phalange", "Got my phalange on the trigger", " How many phalanges am I holding up?". Another form of the word is phalanx which is a group of heavily armed infantry formed in ranks and files close and deep, with shields joined and long spears overlapping (According to Dictionary.com). I see the similarity, do you? Oftentimes I wonder if people see things the same way I do. I mean actually see. If I see an apple, not a pear apple, on a table does it look exactly the same to you? Surely you recognize it as an apple but maybe an apple looks to you what a pear looks like to me. I know, I know.... The visual spectrum of light that my eye receives from an object is the same as that which you receive - but my brain my process the information differently. Then again maybe yours does. Blue to me may be red to you although you'll say it's blue because in your mind red is blue even though it's only red to me - if I were to observe it with your brain using my brains definitions of colors. If you were in my brain you would see that country music does actually all sound the same and the heavy metal is today's most advanced form of music - technically speaking. How often does someone "technically speak"? I hear it all the time....... "Technically speaking it's fruit, not a vegetable." I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were fully accredited to speak on behalf of technology. You must have some sort of advanced degree or something. Or maybe you just saw a special on Discovery channel about tomato farming and know you'll walk around all day relaying those little tidbits of knowledge like you've always known them. Tell me all about how Atlantis possibly existed on the continent of Antarctica - even go so far as to describe the Reis map and how it correctly identified the coastline of Antarctica - which is currently under miles of ice. Wow, you must be a foremost expert on all things Atlantian... Or did you just read that article in Time magazine the other day. I'm a big fan of the 'exploding planet' theory nowadays. It basically says that there was a planet - very close to us, how close I am not sure - which contained a very advanced race of beings. These beings visited us as the various gods we have in our human folklore. Their planet is the most likely prospect for being Atlantis - even though it exploded instead of sank. Alan Alford has written profusely on the subject. I like it. Problem is there is ZERO astronomical evidence of such an exploded planet and the similarities of the gods throughout human civilization are not strong enough to denote a similar origin. Methinks, anyway. That leads us to the next logical conclusion - that the egg did indeed come before the chicken. Why you ask? Can you prove otherwise? I thought not, so let's move on. I find it hilarious that our world economy, military conflicts, political power, and religious strife is all centered on oil. It OIL for god's sake. It black gold.... Texas tea........ It's liquefied dead stuff.......... It smells, stains, ignites, and is an extreme health hazard. Let's get over this deification of oil and t[...]
2006-09-18T05:28:23.463-07:00It has been a while since I last hazarded a guess. Today I shall attempt to do so.
2006-09-07T13:18:04.240-07:00I've never been one to put much stock in fate. It seems unlikely to me that there is some prevailing grid of circumstances, events, and goings-on that each of us navigate throughout our lives. But, oh how we love to believe things are "meant to be". Things just are. Even if you want to credit God or any other deity with pre-ordaining all aspects of existence you'd have to admit that most things are explainable and can be systematically accounted for happening. But even with all my doubts about fate I have come to a situation I feel is so unique that it's a little spooky.
2006-09-01T19:46:51.646-07:00I enjoyed it.
2006-08-30T12:08:28.116-07:00Long ago there was Broadcast Television which was basically 4 channels - NBC, CBS, ABC, and PBS. They were transmitted via those large towers that spread the signal 'over the air'. You needed a good set of rabbit ears to pick them up with decent clarity. Then along came cable. These companies sent a hard wire directly into your house, eliminating the need for antennas and allowing for more channels to be carried. With this new technology channels of every kind started blooming - MTV, CNN, WEATHER, ESPN, DISCOVERY, etc.... All of a sudden there was more information available, faster, to more people. The cable companies dominated the video media landscape - they owned the hard wires and if you wanted cable you had to buy it from them. Fast forward a few years and we see Satellite television. Remember those gigantic satellite dishes you'd see in yards or up on a roof. Those things looked like your house was the broadcast center for a major network. Man, those things were ugly. And to pick up different channels you actually had to program the satellite to point to a different location in the sky to pick up the signal from a different broadcast satellite. Years later these colossal eyesore would be replaced by the sleek digital satellites - Dish Network and the likes. These dishes only have to point to one location to receive a digital stream of information containing a whole list of channels. So our main video sources at this point are cable companies and satellite providers. But now things are changing at a break neck pace. Prepare yourself for a complete upheaval in everything you know about home video.Many things are happening. First - Telecom (that's telecommunications) providers like Verizon, Sprint, and BellSouth have petitioned, sued, and won the right to provide cable video via their own networks. Fair enough I guess, the cable companies stomped all over the telecom territories a few years ago when they started providing voice service. This means that you'll have 3 choices for video service - cable, satellite, telco. In theory the competition would make the service cheaper - but in reality the cable and satellite companies will just think of new ways to get a buck from you to make up for the bucks they lose to the telcos. Imagine being the local cable advertiser. One year you spend $20,000 to advertise with Cox cable which goes to 200,000 homes in the area. The next year maybe 75,000 of those homes now have Verizon "cable" and you have to spend $20,000 with Cox and $8,000 with Verizon to reach the same amount of people with the same number of commercials. It will get very frustrating for advertisers.Now enters the internet. IPTV as it is called (Internet Protocol Television) offers something that people really want: The abiblity to watch only the shows or channels they want to without paying for "packages". I, for one, hate paying $75 a month for 250 channels when my family, combined, only watches maybe 17 of them. Internet based television will allow you to download and watch a baseball game, sitcom, movie, or new cast either live or recorded whenever you want, wherever you want. Every day data transfer rates get faster. Look at iPod video. It's been a big deal in the news the last 6 months or so that the networks are selling episodes of prime time TV shows to Apple for iPod downloads. Millions of people have paid $1.00 per episode to be able to watch Lost or ER while they're on the subway or waiting in line at the bank. YouTube is a very popular video site where anybody can upload any video they want and [...]
2006-08-29T07:23:16.106-07:00Quipper: One who quips on a fairly regular basis, for better or worse.
2006-08-28T09:16:52.936-07:00Everyone knows a guy like this. I have recently had the displeasure of having to be around an insipid quipper. The guy who always, alwayss has to say something that he finds amusing. Now don't get me wrong - I love good witicisms and appropriate quips - and if they are thought through and delivered well I'm happy to be on the receiving end. But this guy is the one who uses ALL the overused and abused one-liners you've ever heard: "See you later" - "Not if I see you first"; "Walk much?" (after tripping on something); "It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it". You know - that kind of unimaginative drivel. It's almost like he walks around just waiting to toss one out. Like they're all on the tip of his tongue just waiting to be used. Even worse, his version of sarcasm is juvenile. Good sarcasm is a beautiful thing. Good sarcasm requires intelligence to create and understand, proper delivery to avoid insult yet poignant enough to grab attention. His sarcasm is thoughtless minor insults. For example, the other day my wife and I were going to a really fancy, black tie dinner event. He and his wife came over to watch our kids. My wife answers the door in her evening gown and his wife immediately says "You look beautiful, I love your dress". He walks in behind her and just says "I don't" and walks on by. My wife, knowing this jerkoff fairly well, took zero offense at it and shrugged it off as his vain attempt at wit. Sad. I hate to see someone fail so miserably with sarcasm. It's like a professional baseball player watching a co-ed church softball team who really think they are the best players in the county. What drives people to be like this? I've been paying close attention to this for weeks now and I have yet to see anyone within earshot of him do so much as crack a smile at his remarks. He was trying his schtick on a waitress not to long ago. Not only did she not laugh but I think she probably put a loogie in his Diet Coke. And yet he struts around like he's the coolest cat in the room everywhere he goes. Why? Does he believe, truly believe, that everyone thinks highly of him? Does he not give a shit? That would at least be slightly honorable but I don't think it is the case.
2006-08-25T20:02:33.050-07:00I would like to give my public accolades to Warner Brothers Records. Major record labels shunned the heavy metal world for years with few exceptions. But in the past year Warner has signed 3 of my favorite metal acts: Slayer, Mastodon, and Avenged Sevenfold. Atlantic Records has seen fit to pick up Shadows Fall.
2006-08-25T06:52:41.386-07:00I'm becoming increasingly skeptical about the concept of 'losing' ones soul. If there is such a thing as a soul is it possible to actually lose it? I may lose my watch or lose my wallet but that's because it is easy to misplace a physical object. I suppose I could 'sell' my soul - for what? I've never been given an offer for my soul. Perhaps it is not as valuable as I thought. I tried to pawn it the other day but I just got a dirty look from the toothless man at the pawn shop counter. Toothless people have a special place in my heart. I'm torn between laughing hysterically, feeling sorry for them because they were perhaps never taught decent hygiene, and champing at the bit (pun fully intended) to ask them how they eat a pork chop. Chops, as everyone knows, are smaller cuts from the loin primal cut. There are blade chops, rib chops, loin chops, sirloin chops, butterfly chops, and boneless chops. Do you know what kind of chops you're eating when you get a plate of pork chops? You better start asking. Do we eat beef chops? In Korea dog meat is common and I understand it tastes good. The troubling part is that dogs are beaten to death, over a long period of time, to make them more tender. This is fucking barbaric! Those slants who practice this should have their souls lost. Notice how I use the epithet 'slants' here. I find it perfectly reasonable to throw out a racist slur when describing the less desirable of any race. I may, for example, dine with a fellow business partner who just so happens to be an Indian. But the Dot-Headed Odor Monkey waiter just spilled soup on my pants. I would not, ahhhccmmmm, wish to degrade an entire culture just for the actions of a few but it just seems right to label some people using the best (and ironically, worst) possible epithet. I've been trying to define myself lately with a racist slur but can't decide between 'cracker' or 'redneck'. I really, really wish 'honky' would make a comeback. I love that term. I wonder if white people in the 70's where ever really offended when someone called them 'honky'? How can you be? It just sounds so funny. Like something out of the Wizard of Oz or Chutes and Ladders. Leo Singer was a manager/producer who had a traveling group of midgets doing Vaudeville shows throughout Europe. He contracted with MGM studios to provide the "little people" for the Wizard of Oz. He managed to pull together 124 midgets to appear in the film. That's a lot of midgets. Where do you find 124 midgets? Come to think of it I haven't seen a midget, in real life, in quite a long time. Or an albino. I have seen perhaps one real albino my whole life. Wikipedia's entry on albinism lists 25 "famous people" with albinism. I have heard of one of them - Edward the Confessor, King of England 1042-1066. The Norman Invasion happened in 1066 - if my history is correct. So England was lost by an albino king.? That's not the kind of track record you want as an albino. I've never seen an albino in a porno. I've seen some weird shit in pronos but never an albino.[...]
2006-08-22T06:50:55.143-07:001) Badgers are the largest indigenous carnivores in the UK.