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by Con Chapman

Last Build Date: Sat, 20 Jan 2018 02:55:59 +0000


Ask Mr. VocabularyCon Chapman

Sat, 20 Jan 2018 02:14:34 +0000

Got a knotty homonym problem?  Depressed because you’re in a subjunctive mood?  Ask Mr. Vocabulary–if he doesn’t know the answer, he’ll look it up! Dear Mr. Vocabulary– Over the holidays I met my fiancé Rodney’s parents… More

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How to Make an Atom Bomb While Your Wife’s AwayCon Chapman

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 12:30:07 +0000

The wife’s away this week, an opportunity for me to make some of the dishes she bans because they stink up the kitchen; linguini and clam sauce, cedar planked salmon, weapons-grade plutonium. Just like that… More

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On Deciding Not to Be a BitchCon Chapman

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 03:52:26 +0000

You know it makes one feel rather good deciding not to be a bitch. Lady Brett Ashley, The Sun Also Rises Deny yourself that pleasure For my sake; that feeling beyond measure That you get… More

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Poetry for CatsCon Chapman

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 12:36:14 +0000

Call me crazy, but I like to write poetry. For cats. Cats are a good training ground for poets. They are largely indifferent to poetry, like the overwhelming majority of people, but that still makes… More

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About that jazz-poem thing . . .Con Chapman

Wed, 17 Jan 2018 23:52:33 +0000

. . . here’s me, doing that jazz-poem thing.                           caption to Facebook photo   Let me stop you right there, before your bird takes wing: I’d rather you didn’t do that jazz-poem thing, for… More

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Motorcycle Gang Comes to Defense of Bullied YoungsterCon Chapman

Wed, 17 Jan 2018 17:01:32 +0000

KEOKUK, Iowa.  An aversion to grade school is a normal attribute of a young boy’s psychological make-up, but in the case of sixth-grader Timmy Nash, the extreme loathing with which he faced each day at… More

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On the Waterfront, Fuzzy Animal VersionCon Chapman

Wed, 17 Jan 2018 00:34:42 +0000

The president of an Ohio steelworkers union stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from his local, which he used in part to buy tickets to Disney on Ice and Sesame Street Live shows. Organized Labor’s… More

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A Guy’s Guide to Figure SkatingCon Chapman

Tue, 16 Jan 2018 13:52:30 +0000

You know, eventually, the day will come. It’s the dead of winter.  You live in a four-sport town, but your football team didn’t make the playoffs, your NBA franchise is playing for the lottery and… More

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Romney Hires Sincerity Consultant as He Mulls Senate RunCon Chapman

Mon, 15 Jan 2018 09:51:13 +0000

LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE, N.H.  Chastened by his 2012 loss to Barack Obama but prepared to learn from his mistakes, former Massachusetts Governor Willard “Mitt” Romney huddled last night with high-priced consultants as he considers a run for the U.S.… More

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Mr. Coffee, Innovative Appliance, Dead at 46Con Chapmancoffeecoffee1

Sun, 14 Jan 2018 13:43:45 +0000

CLEVELAND, Ohio.  Mr. Coffee, an automatic drip home brewing machine that revolutionized the way Americans get their morning jolt of caffeine, died yesterday at the Cuyahoga County Home for Aging Appliances here.  He was 46.… More

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