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by Con Chapman

Last Build Date: Sun, 10 Dec 2017 16:37:45 +0000


Your Holiday Gift AdvisorCon Chapman

Sun, 10 Dec 2017 13:55:28 +0000

Selecting the perfect gift for a friend or family member is a sign that you care for them in a very special way.  Your Holiday Gift Advisor is here to help you find just the… More(image)

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Volunteers Gird for Busy Season Saving “Rescue Fruitcakes”Con Chapman

Sat, 09 Dec 2017 22:25:03 +0000

FRAMINGHAM, Mass.  In a non-descript building in this western suburb of Boston, the stress of the holiday season is apparent on the forehead of Mark Foutreau as he barks into his landline.  “We need somebody to cover the… More(image)

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For Linebacker-Poets, Awards Ceremony is a Jarring HitCon Chapman

Sat, 09 Dec 2017 14:34:13 +0000

BEAVER FALLS, Pa.  While the attention of the rest of the college football world was already focused on the Heisman Trophy ceremony today, this quiet town was stuffed like a short-yardage scrum with neckless men reciting deathless… More(image)

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Sex Change OperationCon Chapman

Sat, 09 Dec 2017 03:09:45 +0000

(A cappella doowopissimo, moderato)   First voice: Oh-oh I, I’m so lonesome and blue— Second voice: Tell me why . . . First voice: That’s just what I’ll do— I had a girl, and I… More(image)

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As Holidays Near, Persecution of Agnostics SoarsCon Chapmanagnostic

Fri, 08 Dec 2017 12:29:12 +0000

ARLINGTON, Virginia. The month of December is a time of peace and goodwill for members of several world religions, but for Alan Macy, it’s a nightmare. “Everybody gangs up on me–Christians, Jews and Muslims,” he… More(image)

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Call the Cultbusters!Con Chapman

Thu, 07 Dec 2017 12:41:44 +0000

Did your daughter just shave her head?  Has the little woman started getting mail from The Rosicrucians?  Call the Cultbusters now, before it’s too late! Dear Cultbusters: Our daughter Francine had a wonderful job as… More(image)

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With Russians Out, Freedonia Sees Chance for Olympics GloryCon Chapmankorea3korea4korea5

Wed, 06 Dec 2017 21:05:05 +0000

SPLZDKINO, Freedonia.  The news that Russian athletes will be barred from the 2018 Winter Olympics in PyeongChang, South Korea, was greeted with a mixture of joy and schadenfreude in this city of 23,398, widely considered… More(image)

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Motor City Pillow PatrolCon Chapmandetroitdetroit1

Wed, 06 Dec 2017 12:42:06 +0000

Detroit police prevented a pillow fight Saturday, confiscating pillows.            Associated Press “Look under that chintz sham!”   It was Saturday, the most dangerous night of the week.  I waited for my partner, a green… More(image)

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At the Repo Man’s Christmas BallCon Chapman

Wed, 06 Dec 2017 03:18:59 +0000

It was the depths of a recession, And real estate prices had fallen. Some contractors were overextended And their creditors were callin’. Me? I was just doing my job Arranging for repossessions Of cranes and… More(image)

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Burned by Shoplifters, One Store Turns to Higher PowerCon Chapman

Tue, 05 Dec 2017 12:49:19 +0000

BOSTON.  The Christmas shopping season is in full swing here, and the usual crush of office workers on the streets of Boston is made worse by suburban mothers and children in town to see the… More(image)

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