Fri, 09 Dec 2016 18:07:55 -0800Trauma, Bullies, and the Election:
I don’t usually post personal, confessional stuff online, but recent events have compelled me to open a vein.
Fri, 09 Dec 2016 16:09:57 -0800betterbemeta: ashermajestywishes: standbyyourmantis: involuntaryorange: fatfeistyandfashionable: starseed-drops: drabblemeister: spookihope: whenever i’m talking to someone and they tell me about something that happened to them i always tell them about something that happened to me that’s similar to what happened to them. i do it as kind of a “oh hey yeah this happened to me so i can relate to what you’re going through” but i’m always afraid it comes out as “oh yeah well this happened to me so clearly i have it tougher than you” or “i’m done talking about you let’s talk about me” i swear i don’t mean it like that…….. I run into this a lot with my job - so instead of telling the whole story I say something like, “Oh my gosh, I had something REALLY similar happen. What did you do after that??” And I’ve found that works. Usually they explain and then ask, “So what happened to you?” And then you’re invited to share, and the formula for conversing continues on. :) of all the tumblr posts i’ve read, this one is going to change my life the fastest lol. Thanks to both the OP for posting a thing that so many of us do, and the responder who gave us a better way to do it. You’re doing the lord’s work, my friend! Fun fact: there isn’t anything wrong with you if you do what OP is describing. Deborah Tannen’s work focuses on different conversational styles — the sets of behavioral norms and expectations that we bring with us to conversations. In one of her earlier articles, she describes two conflicting conversational styles that exist in the US. One, which she (perhaps inaccurately) dubs “New York Jewish conversational style,” is based on the principle of building camaraderie with one’s interlocutor. The other, which she doesn’t really name but which we could call “mainstream American conversational style,” is based on the principle of not imposing on one’s interlocutor. Each conversational style has its own behavioral norms. Mainstream American conversational style involves things like asking your interlocutor questions about him/herself and waiting until your interlocutor is clearly finished speaking until you say something. These demonstrate a focus on one’s interlocutor and a clear resistance to imposing. NYJ conversational style involves things like conversational overlaps — speaking at the same time as one’s interlocutor — and “swapping stories.” These demonstrate a high level of engagement with one’s interlocutor. Conversationalists using the mainstream American style make space for each other; conversationalists using the New York Jewish style carve out their own space. Each of these conversational styles works well when the two people conversing have the same style. Imagine two friends meeting for drinks after work: “Oh, hello! How was your trip here?”“Oh, it was awful. There was so much traffic on the turnpike.”“That’s terrible.”“I know. How was your trip?”“Well, there was an accident on the bridge.”“Oh no! Was there a big backup?”“Yeah, pretty big.” “Oh, hi!”“Hey! Ugh, sorry I’m late, there was so much traffic on the turnpike—”“Oh my god, I know, there was an accident on the bridge and the cars were backed up a MILE—”“That is the worst, I remember one time I sat in traffic for an HOUR waiting to get through that toll, they really should—”“Add more EZ-pass lanes, right?”“Add more lanes, yeah, exactly.” Both of these conversations worked: the participants feel that they’ve had their say and that they’ve been understood. They feel connected to their interlocutor. But when people with conflicting conversational styles converse, that’s where things go wrong. Because we interpret other people’s contributions according to our own conversational style. So the person with mainstream American conversational style comes away thinking “Why did they keep interrupting me? Why didn’t they ask me any questions about me? Why were they s[...]
Fri, 09 Dec 2016 15:51:39 -0800
This is from my friend @danhon, who I am privileged to know.
Here’s that link: https://github.com/CDTgithub/DigitalServiceOpportunities
Way to go, Dan!
Thu, 08 Dec 2016 18:55:07 -0800
1. Started his military career (active duty) when he was 14 years old.
2. Spoke fluent Greek, Latin, French, Spanish, Italian, and German.
3. Inherited what we now know is mental illness, which manifested itself in moodiness and a choleric temper. As Lee himself later admitted, he suffered from a “distemper of … mind”.
4. Five of his siblings died.
6. Married a Canadian Indian during the French and Indian War.
7. Was dubbed by the Canadian Indians “Boiling Water”, a reference to his temper.
8. Was badly wounded defending Ft. Ticonderoga, and when brought back to Long Island to heal, got into a fight with the army surgeon, who then tried to assassinate him.
9. Tried to form two new colonies in the area we know of as Illinois.
10. While serving in the Polish army, he nearly froze to death in the Balkan mountains.
11. Still serving for Poland, he also survived an earthquake in Constantinople.
12. Dueled an Italian officer, who he shot dead, but lost two fingers in the process of doing so.
13. Called King George III a “dolt”.
14. Only decided Washington was a weak leader when, at Congress’ pressuring, Washington lost over 3,000 men and tons of supplies when he lost Fort Washington instead of retreating with it as Lee had suggested.
15. Washington ordered him to retreat across New Jersey from New York, so, because he was mad, Lee left the army’s column, took a few men with him to a tavern, rented several prostitutes, and was promptly captured by the British the next morning.
16. Owned a Pomeranian named Mr. Spada, which he made Abigail Adams shake its paw.
17. The town of Fort Lee, New Jersey is named after him. There’s a little park with plaques honoring him, Nathaniel Greene and Henry Knox
Thu, 08 Dec 2016 17:59:38 -0800How Peanuts Used Peppermint Patty To Talk About Politics:
Good grief. Like, REALLY good grief.
Thu, 08 Dec 2016 17:58:46 -0800(image)
honestly, Rory doesn’t remotely deserve Paris.
I’m gonna start shipping Paris and Annoying Princeton Guy. I think he’s gonna go places.
Wed, 07 Dec 2016 15:54:14 -0800(image)
“There’s a storm coming!“
Mon, 05 Dec 2016 18:07:31 -0800(image)
I don’t really care much for badges or achievements or gamification, but I’ll admit that this Peloton achievement is pretty neat.
Fri, 02 Dec 2016 18:04:22 -0800(image)
Tue, 29 Nov 2016 11:41:52 -0800“
I think there is something wrong with us. I think we have a problem with power, and with our fantasies about power. Just a few weeks ago, I would have said I was an evangelist, a person who believed in the power of technology and entertainment to teach us things, and to be good for us. Now it’s as though a cord has been yanked from my back. I’ve been decommissioned, it feels like. I would like to write something optimistic, I really would, but those words won’t come.
Even before the election, the “criticism” element of my work in technology writing was difficult. If you don’t look toward the future with the dreamlike optimism of a new day, you might be a Luddite. You can be skeptical of products only inasmuch as your skepticism serves the consumer — beyond that, you’re ruining the fun.
It’s a possibility space, people say. You might not like, say, virtual reality right now, but you’re going to like it. It’s not there yet, but it’s going to be. Do not, for any reason, try to tap the brakes. The future is coming and there is nothing you can do but open your arms.
But to whom have we been promising possibility? Whose future is coming, and with what will they be armed?”
Sun, 27 Nov 2016 16:58:26 -0800spyscribe: leupagus: profmeowmers: My bros I have been doing a lot of reading about Wacky WWII Hijinks lately and I want to tell you a story because I love it okay once upon a time there was a dude in Spain named Juan Pujol Garcia. Pujol was a chicken farmer. Pujol hated him some goddamn fascists. See Spain had recently ended its civil war, with the fascists taking power. So when WWII broke out in Europe, Spain technically remained neutral but in practice was buddy buddy with the Nazis. Juan Pujol Garcia thought this was pretty bullshit so soon after war breaks out Pujol travels to his local British embassy and goes “hey I wanna spy on the Nazis for you” “who the fuck are you?” say the British, and kick him out but Pujol is not deterred! He still wants to dunk on some fascists, so now he goes to his local German embassy instead. “hey” he says, “I wanna spy on the British for you, I sure do hate them” “yeah okay” say the Germans “that seems pretty legit” and just like that Pujol now officially works for the Abwehr, the German intelligence agency. They hand him some spy gear (invisible ink and such) and instruct him to travel to Lisbon, and from there make his way into the UK. So Pujol heads to Lisbon, and a little while later writes to his German handlers telling them he’s made it to England Pujol had not made it to England. He had, in fact, made it to the Lisbon public library, where he checked out a number of English guide books and set about just wholesale making shit up this is slightly complicated by the fact that, for example, he completely did not understand British currency and all his expense reports were basically gibberish. He also reported things like bribing Scotsmen, because the people of Glasgow would “do anything for a litre of wine” (an actual quote) because, hey, people in Spain like wine so that’s probably the same right? Here is where it starts to get really crazy, because the Abwehr loves this. “wow this dude is a great spy” they say, because apparently none of them had ever been the England either. In fact, they are so pumped about this new awesome spy that the British start to get worried you see, by this time the British had cracked German’s supposedly unbreakable Enigma code and were totally dunking on the Nazis by reading basically all of their ~super top secret~ radio transmissions. And, crucially, they’d become so good at breaking and reading traffic that there were literally no German spies in England. The Germans would set up a spy drop (usually dropping dudes in by parachute in the middle of the night), the British would intercept the message and then just scoop the dudes up as soon as they landed in a move that must have been SUPER embarrassing to the spies so there are no German spies in the UK because they’re all sitting in a prison run by MI5 (although some are being run under supervision as double agents, feeding Germany bullshit). But suddenly MI5 is picking up all this traffic from the Germans talking about their super great spy- a spy the British do not have in their jail “oh shit” says MI5, and starts rereading all the transmissions they have to and from this mysterious super spy. “hey wait” says MI5, upon actually reading the shit the spy was sending. “someone is playing silly buggers, pip pip cheerio” At this point, Pujol, still in Lisbon, had actually been approaching the British embassy again, repeatedly, but apparently “I am literally an Abwehr agent and would like to offer you my services” wasn’t interesting enough, because he was repeatedly turned away, again. It wasn’t until MI5 started asking around that one of the embassy staff was like “oh yeah we know that guy” so in 1942 the British fina[...]
Sat, 26 Nov 2016 22:34:04 -0800“
When we place our faith in hard work, we’re wishing for the creation of character; but we’re also hoping, or expecting, that the labour market will allocate incomes fairly and rationally. And there’s the rub, they do go together. Character can be created on the job only when we can see that there’s an intelligible, justifiable relation between past effort, learned skills and present reward. When I see that your income is completely out of proportion to your production of real value, of durable goods the rest of us can use and appreciate (and by ‘durable’ I don’t mean just material things), I begin to doubt that character is a consequence of hard work.
When I see, for example, that you’re making millions by laundering drug-cartel money (HSBC), or pushing bad paper on mutual fund managers (AIG, Bear Stearns, Morgan Stanley, Citibank), or preying on low-income borrowers (Bank of America), or buying votes in Congress (all of the above) – just business as usual on Wall Street – while I’m barely making ends meet from the earnings of my full-time job, I realise that my participation in the labour market is irrational. I know that building my character through work is stupid because crime pays. I might as well become a gangster like you.
That’s why an economic crisis such as the Great Recession is also a moral problem, a spiritual impasse – and an intellectual opportunity. We’ve placed so many bets on the social, cultural and ethical import of work that when the labour market fails, as it so spectacularly has, we’re at a loss to explain what happened, or to orient ourselves to a different set of meanings for work and for markets.”
Sat, 26 Nov 2016 13:50:24 -0800(image)
Paris told Luke and Lorelai to check her reviews on Yelp. But there wasn’t anything there. So I fixed that.
Sat, 26 Nov 2016 12:52:39 -0800
@bronwen: How come we never got to meet Frederic?!
me: Because who could they put on the screen that would rival your imagination of who Michel would marry?
@bronwen: Michael Kenneth Williams.
me: Headcanon accepted.
Thu, 24 Nov 2016 11:18:35 -0800occupythedisco: bossymarmalade: goddesscru: ctron164: cosmic-noir: pumpkinmcqueen: queenevea: meme-liberation-front: The Panthers used to ride around and follow the police. So the cops would pull over some sorry black person, and get ready to rough him up, but then there were the Panthers right behind them. Watching, armed to the teeth, and citing legal statutes. It’s inspirational. Bring it back. Bring this back. For real. That’s why the FBI broke them up, isn’t it ? That among other community initiatives. They had weapons training, self defense, their free breakfast program and ran a newspaper. They raised money to pay for bail and legal funding for people. And they used to notify the community of their rights and encourage people to know the laws and protest the one which were unjust. That type of shit irked the local police and damned sure struck a nerve with the FBI. They were taking back the streets and providing the protection the police were never interested in bringing to their neighborhoods from the very start. So it’s always fuck the FBI for me. Also let’s be starkly clear about this: under COINTELPRO the FBI raided the homes of Black Panthers and outright murdered them. They conspired with local police forces to harass, assault, and concoct false evidence against anybody affiliated with the BPP. And they didn’t keep their operations confined to the black community directly. When a white woman working in civil rights was killed by the KKK (they were aiming at her black passenger) the FBI excused the KKK by claiming that she was a communist and slept with black men. They refused to accept the reports of white agents who said that the BPP were no threat and demanded that the agents falsify information to paint the BPP as violent domestic terrorists. The FBI was determined to quash revolutionary black movements that were chiefly devoted to community protection and development and they stopped at nothing in their attempts to reach this goal. One thing we don’t talk about even in our own retellings and reclaimings of BPP history is that a large part of the reason the government worked to break them up wasn’t because of armed action, but because they provided so many necessary social services and programs: free breakfast for children, walking the elderly to and from banks safely to cash their social security checks, free medical centers, door-to-door sickle cell testing, blood drives, raising money for bail, clothing donations, legal aide, busing people to and from prisons to visit, commissary for prisoners. Not only did they fight back against state violence in their confrontations with police, but also by resisting the forced conditions of poverty, criminality and scarcity created by the state to further destroy their communities. J. Edgar Hoover genuinely wrote in an FBI memo that: “The Breakfast for Children Program B represents the best and most influential activity going for the BPP and, as such, is potentially the greatest threat to efforts by authorities B to neutralize the BPP and destroy what it stands for.” When I need a good example of the antiblackness that is fundamental to this country’s history and how it persists even now, I remember that the BPP were viewed as a threat to national security, not because they were armed, but because they wouldn’t allow black children to die from starvation and malnutrition. width="540" height="405" id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZMnc2KjS7Vw?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1&origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="">Excerpt from the seminal miniseries[...]
Wed, 23 Nov 2016 14:28:04 -0800In Praise of Paris Geller and Her Anger
Mon, 21 Nov 2016 20:05:16 -0800
Sun, 20 Nov 2016 21:43:08 -0800(image)
Sun, 20 Nov 2016 16:20:58 -0800“
We are hyperanalytical cost-benefit maximisers. There is no charity so pure that we can’t criticise for wasting money; no non-profit too noble to snipe at for using the wrong tech stack; no institution too valuable to be explosively disrupted.
Whether it’s journalism, healthcare, transportation, social security, or politics, we could do better, if we tried. But we don’t care to try, because we’re too busy trying to make shit tons of money, and you don’t make money by working in non-profits or journalism. So fuck anyone else for trying and failing to attain perfection, and what’s more, fuck them for having the temerity to ask us for our hard-earned cash.
The time for that attitude is well and truly over. We cannot afford your perfectionism any more.”