Subscribe: Comments on Single Parent Dad: Mother's Day, What Would You Like Us To Do?
http://singleparentdad.blogspot.com/feeds/7057725265180853952/comments/default
Added By: Feedage Forager Feedage Grade B rated
Language: English
Tags:
agree  card  dad  day  father  great job  great  lucky  make  making  mother day  mother  mum  situation  thing  things  time 
Rate this Feed
Rate this feedRate this feedRate this feedRate this feedRate this feed
Rate this feed 1 starRate this feed 2 starRate this feed 3 starRate this feed 4 starRate this feed 5 star

Comments (0)

Feed Details and Statistics Feed Statistics
Preview: Comments on Single Parent Dad: Mother's Day, What Would You Like Us To Do?

Comments on Single Parent Dad: Mother's Day, What Would You Like Us To Do?





Updated: 2016-02-27T18:11:32.870+00:00

 



You read an awful lot of shit on the web, and an a...

2011-06-23T02:41:15.108+01:00

You read an awful lot of shit on the web, and an awful lot of shit in mothers and fathers day cards too, some of which I write. My Other Half seems to be able to always think of something quite simple and touching, which is most uncharacteristic, but I love him for it. Anyway, these posts about mother's day and father's day, make up for some of the shit.
I agree with Yummy Mammy. They should make both cards for you, as you're both rolled into one.



Reading this was difficult for me because I lost m...

2009-05-14T00:11:00.000+01:00

Reading this was difficult for me because I lost my father at the age of 10 and had to endure all of the "father" events without him. It wasn't easy and it always made me sad and made me miss my father even more. I always felt like the odd one out during father times because everyone else had a daddy to share these things with.

I think you're a very special father and you remind me in many ways of my mother...always trying to do the absolute best thing for your little one. You're doing the right thing by including him in these events and one day he will be very appreciative for all of your thoughtfulness and effort.

I have a very tender heart for children who have lost a parent and also for the parent left behind because it's not easy for them watching their children suffer due to events beyond their control. Even though it can't possibly be easy for you, you seem to have a great head on your shoulders and your little boy is one lucky fellow. May God bless the two of you abundantly.



What a poignant post and one that is close to my h...

2009-03-16T20:22:00.000+00:00

What a poignant post and one that is close to my heart. My dad died when I was 5 and I spent my primary school days missing him and thinking I was different. But Father's day was a day to remember him as well as his birthday and all other celebrations. I used the occasion to celebrate his memory. It was a day when everyone cared, while the rest of the year it would be forgotten. You can only do your best and what you have done is right for cementing memories, sharing and building courage x



He's lucky to have you - All kids could be so luck...

2009-03-13T18:48:00.000+00:00

He's lucky to have you - All kids could be so lucky to have a dad as great as you are -



Difficult one I agree. I guess it's best to ask Ma...

2009-03-13T15:18:00.000+00:00

Difficult one I agree. I guess it's best to ask Max what he wants to do? I think I'd go with whatever makes him comfortable, little ones tend to have their own ideas on all these issues after the age of 3.

Hugs
Liz



Ian, you're a brilliant mum AND dad and I think yo...

2009-03-13T13:38:00.000+00:00

Ian, you're a brilliant mum AND dad and I think you are doing the right thing. What are you to do, pull Max out of school each year at Mother's day? He will have to face it as you say and better to start now when he is young. I'm sure it is difficult for his teacher to know just what to say or do in such a sensitive situation but she did the right thing by speaking with you.



I think you're doing the right thing by making "ho...

2009-03-13T12:38:00.000+00:00

I think you're doing the right thing by making "honesty the best policy". It's hard to do sometimes, when all we want to do is protect our children from hurt, but I think the hurts wil be less in the long run.

Kudos to you.



No, they didn't make cards for their own Mum, but ...

2009-03-13T09:18:00.000+00:00

No, they didn't make cards for their own Mum, but we would normally visit the grave at sometime near mothers day and put flowers on it. They were aware though that their Mum was with them whatever they did, so visiting the grave was, in a way, more for my mum and their dad.



I think you're handling it perfectly. Our Dad die...

2009-03-12T18:08:00.000+00:00

I think you're handling it perfectly. Our Dad died when I was two and my brother was six months, so we had to deal with this issue in school.

I certainly don't remember how it was handled in nursery school, but in the older grades I remember making him cards. It wasn't a big deal for me. That's just the way things were. My brother was very sensitive, and it would bother him a lot more.

Our mother used to bring us to the cemetary all the time, and I hated it. I never felt like my Dad was "there," and I grew up not wanting to visit graves at all. I always thought that I could just talk to him anywhere, anytime, and that helped me. When I would do bad things, I would look at his picture in my room and say, "Sorry about that, Dad. I'll try to do better." Come to think of it, I still do that, and I'm 43.



I think you're doing a great job.

2009-03-12T16:01:00.000+00:00

I think you're doing a great job.



An incredibly emotional post and yet a beautiful r...

2009-03-12T13:39:00.000+00:00

An incredibly emotional post and yet a beautiful read. I can't begin to imagine how hard this time must be but you seem to be handling it so well. God Bless.

CJ xx



Kat - I know my blog should come with tissues some...

2009-03-12T12:16:00.000+00:00

Kat - I know my blog should come with tissues sometimes.

Yummy Mammy - I like the sentiment, but like I have said, I am still not a replacement.

Jen - Did they still make cards for their own mother? I think it is nice to acknowledge the work of, and the love for others.

Laura - It seems that way doesn't it? I think in this case it is more a problem, and uncomfortable for others rather than us.

Dave - Thanks.

Chairman Bill - He's 4 and I know you are correct. But without making him feel bad, I want him to understand, as best he can, that he started life with two loving parents.

SciFi Dad - Thank you.

T - Thanks.

Rosie - And it is appreciated.

Bee and Rose - Some people would put ass in front of that you know?

Penelope - You can leave lovely comments like that as many times as you want.

Tony - Totally. While a sledgehammer approach need not be the best way, pussy-footing is as bad, if not worse.

notSupermum - The PC world that we live in.

Mama Nabi - The day had never really worried me. I take it as an opportunity really.

Xbox - As I started the sentence that way, the content didn't worry me.

Anonymous - That sounds nice, will be interested to see what, if any, yearly rituals we come up with.

Sandiegogal2000 - It really is a case-by-case thing. And it is good to be in control of these things and have a theory.

Split-Second - Eloquence is something I have to really work on. Thanks for sharing.

Zoeyjane - And it is great that you remember it that way.

Solo Dad - I agree. If he does want to make me a card on mother's day, that is fine, but it will be an additional one.

MindyMom - Thank you.

Tara - Thanks for your lovely comment.



That little boy is so lucky to have such a fabulou...

2009-03-11T22:42:00.000+00:00

That little boy is so lucky to have such a fabulous dad.
You have handled it so well and he will really appreciate that as he gets older.
Really thoughtful post x



I think you are doing a great job and handling the...

2009-03-11T14:55:00.000+00:00

I think you are doing a great job and handling the situation perfectly. I like the idea of him making a card like the other students will be so not to feel left out or "different". No "earthly address" is required for making a mother's day card.



I agree with you about not replacing his Mum with ...

2009-03-11T14:39:00.000+00:00

I agree with you about not replacing his Mum with another stand-in-card-recipient. I gently disagree with those who suggest that you should be receiving said card/gift. Yes, you're the solo-parent; you always will be in some respect. But in time, Max will develop his own persona/relationship with his Mum. It will be on his own terms. He'll make her memory into what it must become for him. Others -Grandparents, significant others, etc.- only muddy the water in that regard. Chin up, Ian. We've got your back albeit at a distance.



I know it's not the same thing, but growing up, I ...

2009-03-11T03:44:00.000+00:00

I know it's not the same thing, but growing up, I was always just given the same opportunity to craft (or bake or write) for a mom that was missing and usually, I just afforded the gifts to the most important person in my world at the time. Often my mother's mom, or my dad, or a female family friend. I never thought of them as a replacement, whatsoever, and it made the holiday more about an expression of love, than specifically love to a mom.

But that's just me.



You have very eloquently stated almost exactly wha...

2009-03-11T00:13:00.000+00:00

You have very eloquently stated almost exactly what I have told my daughter about her mother, who passed when our daughter was 3.

On Mother's Day here in the US, we go to church as we do every week, then usually head down to the beach. It's a fun time for her and I can balance playing with her with quietly reflections of her mommy.

Keep being honest with your son. He'll respect that more than anything else as he grows older.



As a single mom to a beautiful girl I adopted I ru...

2009-03-10T22:39:00.000+00:00

As a single mom to a beautiful girl I adopted I run into this problem with Fathers day. She is in preschool and they are always making things for parents for those special days. I let my daughter decide who she will give the gift too. Since she is four she doesn't always understand but in time I think she will. She either gives them too her godfather or to her grandfather. it depends on who she is feeling closer too. keep up what ever you think is going to be right for your child.



Hi - we are not religious but my daughter has alwa...

2009-03-10T21:33:00.000+00:00

Hi - we are not religious but my daughter has always seemed to get something out of a 'ceremony' we adopted on my mum's birthday of letting a balloon go with a message attached to it. When she was younger it was just kisses and a drawing.



I just can't imagine. I would have been rendered u...

2009-03-10T18:44:00.000+00:00

I just can't imagine. I would have been rendered useless by the leader's comment.



I think you are right - Max should join in and mak...

2009-03-10T18:07:00.000+00:00

I think you are right - Max should join in and make a card for his mother. Although, I think it'll harder for you, really, than it will be for him on that day... *hugs*



I work in a primary school and we do have to tread...

2009-03-10T17:25:00.000+00:00

I work in a primary school and we do have to tread carefully when it's coming up to Mothers' and Fathers' days. Different families have different ideas on what their children should do, and so we have to speak to parents of children who may not have two parents, or indeed any (children in care) that they can give a card to.

You sound like you're doing a great job in explaining things to your son. Hope that doesn't sound too patronising. I loved your post, very emotional.



Let me just say that it is refreshing to get your ...

2009-03-10T17:12:00.000+00:00

Let me just say that it is refreshing to get your take on this situation.

A blogger that I read once commented on a post of mine that his child's daycare provider intentionally didn't talk about "Daddies" because one girl in the class didn't know her father.

I know that your situation or this child's situation can't be easy on a child, but I don't understand how sweeping it under the rug is the answer.

I applaud the daycare in either situation for talking to the single parent about how to handle it, but surely there are better ways to deal with it.



I know that I have said this before but I really d...

2009-03-10T16:49:00.000+00:00

I know that I have said this before but I really do admire your attitude so much. I have the exact same feelings about graves, or shrines of any sort in fact and think it is wonderful that Max is being taught that Sam is right there inside and beside him.
Good for you Ian - you really do never cease to inspire me :o)



Simply beautiful. Of course he should make things ...

2009-03-10T16:34:00.000+00:00

Simply beautiful. Of course he should make things for his mother. I think that is so incredibly healthy. You are an amazing soul, SPD:) Your boy is truly lucky.