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Preview: Single Mom Says...

Single Mom Says...



A single mom's thoughts and observations on life as a single parent, dating, relationships, kids & women's issues.



Updated: 2010-10-07T10:35:12.936-06:00

 



Checking in & a Poll

2010-10-01T07:44:32.492-06:00

It's been exactly two weeks (seems like a LOT longer!) since my last post and I've missed blogging - and all of you!

On the other hand, I've been so busy that by the end of the day I've been too exhausted for it to matter that much.

In case I still have readers and you haven't seen my updates on Facebook

Since my last post I have:

1) Finalized the terms of the sale of my house with a horrendously greedy and petty buyer.

2) From the day I was officially under contract, I had less than two weeks to pack and move out - even though the home inspection and resolution of such had not yet been met. (See #1)

3) The reason I had to get out of my house two and 1/2 weeks prior to closing is because I am having an estate sale. I have packed and stored everything I am keeping into one room of my house and the rest is up for sale. Most of what I own and have collected over the last 20 years of being a homeowner has been inventoried, priced, staged and you know what? I'm not going to miss any of it.

4) I found an apartment and have signed a lease but cant move in for another couple weeks. In the meantime, LO and I am staying with a friend who lives in the same apartment complex and the older kids are staying with their father.

5) I am definitely gonna like it here! Helllooo single living and good bye to being the token single mom in married-couple-suburban neighborhood!

6) Had court-ordered mediation with the Ex for modification of child support (based on the major increase to his income that he concealed for the last year and 1/2 and which occurred only 8 weeks after cutting CS in 1/2). There were no surprises; he followed through with his threat not to settle at mediation and instead this will drag out even longer and we will have to go to court (probably sometime after the first of the year) to resolve the issue.

7) Smack dab in the middle of the stress of negotiating terms with my greedy buyer, I lost a friend. As many of you know, Jim, aka; Depot Dad lost his battle with cancer. As sad as this is I like to think he's now up there looking out for me.

Now for the poll:

If a legal document stated there was a modification to be made "on August 23rd", does that mean:

a) On August 23rd

or

b) Beginning Sept 1.

???

I know the answer, I just want to see if it's possible for a reasonable person to interpret this in any other way.

Thanks!



Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

2010-09-17T09:30:48.965-06:00

In case you haven't noticed, my blogging has been sporadic and brief lately. I've been very busy with life and have been dealing with some pretty major stuff.

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It's all good though. There has been great loss but it all seems to be working out alright and I am finding the loss really isn't that big of a deal. I'm even kinda excited about the next chapter in my life but right now am feeling...


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The next month is going to be very busy and stressful so you probably wont see me around much in the blogoshpere. I'll try to keep up the best I can and will be back to "normal" as soon as things settle down. Settle down. Could that be possible for me? Hey, It just might happen.

There will be MUCH to blog about when I get back to it.



Rice Pudding is Not for Everyone

2010-09-14T20:14:27.759-06:00

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As others before me have so boldly gone, I submitted my blog for a review on the site Ask And Ye Shall Receive.

As the URL suggests (and as you must agree to subjecting yourself to in the terms set forth on the site prior to a review) this site will "fucking tear you apart". So I grew a set and exposed myself for the lashing.

Without further ado, you can read my review, Ambrosia and its Opposites.



A Girl's Heart - A Woman's Heart

2010-09-13T10:33:00.082-06:00

It had been a while since she had seen him, actually she has seen him briefly in passing but her interactions with him had been very limited over the last few months.

He had/has been the man in her life for most her 5 years but this was not the first time he disappeared for a while only to reappear later.

She knew he would be coming to dinner later and even while playing at the pool with friends that afternoon her excitement at the mention of his name was obvious, as was her love for him.

Later, when he arrived at our house she was lying on the couch and feeling sleepy after a long day, but she said “Hi” to him in her little voice as he entered the room.

He said “Hi, Little One.” but did not go over to see her.

A little later she climbed on my lap as he and I talked. She whispered in my ear that she liked him and thought he was cute – but added, “Don’t tell him; it’s a secret.”

Then she said to him, “I’m five now.”

“Happy belated birthday” he said.

“And I’m in kindergarten.” She told him. “I can read too. Can I read my book to you?” she asked.

She went to get her book and began to read. He was distracted by the game on t.v. I gave him a little nudge and a look and then he leaned forward and gave her his attention - between sneaking peaks at the t.v.

She finished reading and I praised her for a job well done; he then followed my lead and did the same.

Soon she was angling for a spot in his lap and chatting away about events in her life over the last few months.

She might as well have been saying, I’ve missed you, I love you, pay attention to me, acknowledge me…

Love me.

He is not her father but he is the closest thing to one she has ever known.

It may not be all that she deserves but even he has given her more than DBD has over the years.

As I watched this exchange between LO and him my heart ached for her; she and I seek the same thing. We both give our love freely and openly and no matter how much we may love each other we still want that love returned to us by one special man; an emotionally available man.

John Mayer sings it well:

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Dating & Relationships - It All Comes Down to This

2010-09-09T08:11:24.960-06:00

Last night I was out with a couple friends at a local bar. When it came time to to use the facilities we found this:


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And this:



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It's that simple.




It's Not Vegas But...

2010-09-07T13:54:48.773-06:00

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I had a pretty awesome weekend. It was nothing special but that’s kinda what made it special.

I met a couple friends for lunch and margaritas Friday afternoon

Went to a party at the reservoir on Saturday

Relaxed by the pool on Sunday with Danielle and our little girls

Pampered myself on Monday - as in, did a whole lot of nothin’ productive and drank Prosecco while eating a gourmet fruit & cheese tray I made myself

Made a delicious dinner of pasta with prosciutto, sundried tomatoes and artichokes just for me and LO

The weather was gorgeous all weekend.

I love Colorado.

Got hooked on the show ReHab. I can’t even blame it on my teenagers like with The Hills and Gossip Girl. Must be my love of Vegas. Or maybe I just really want to go again. Either way, I'm now addicted to ReHab.

Yeah, would have been nice to go to Vegas for the long weekend but my mini-stay-cay was just what I needed and very relaxing.
How was your weekend?



Five & Sweet Sixteen

2010-09-02T08:03:25.115-06:00

(image) DD & LO Oct 2005


The first two days of this month two of my kids are celebrating their birthdays. What makes this time even more special is the bond that these two girls share – with an 11 year age difference between them.

It was five years ago yesterday that Little One came in to the world and the first of her siblings to see her and hold her in the hospital that day, just a few short hours after her birth, was her big sister DD, who would be celebrating her own birthday the next day.

From that day forward the bond grew and DD, without a doubt, is the second most important person in LO’s life.

DD was my little helper from day one, wanting to feed, hold and burp our little baby and she didn’t even mind changing diapers. The other two girls helped out also but it was DD who took the biggest interest in her baby sister.

All these years later, DD, the other girls and I remember LO’s baby years fondly and share in the joy of every one of her milestones together.

Last night we all (except CoCo, who is away at college) went out to dinner to celebrate both birthdays at one of our favorite family dinner spots, which has become the birthday celebration dinner of choice for all the kids. We had a great time and a wonderful meal and then came home to eat cake. Urp.

Tonight DD will be going out with her boyfriend (yikes) and over the weekend she will be celebrating with a party with her friends.

Sixteen…ah, I remember it well. And I’ve decided being the mother of a five year old is so much easier!

I can’t complain though, all my girls are pretty awesome.

Happy Birthday DD and LO!



Warfare

2010-08-31T12:55:10.419-06:00

I'm having a crappy day.

Actually I've been dealing with yet another major load of legal bullshit, courtesy of my malicious and very litigious ex, for a while now. The fallout from the last time is still ongoing but apparently he doesn't feel he has caused enough damage yet and wants to add some more.

I've been dealing with the ex's malicious litigiousness on an ongoing and consistent basis for a long time but some days it just pisses me off. Today is one of those days.

After 8 years of this shit it is really getting old. Disgusting. Pathetic. Appalling. Yet he is "entitled" by the law to do it and keep doing it to the detriment of me and the kids. Just because he can.

I figure my ex pays his attorney more money in 4 hours than he pays me in support for a month so he can get out of paying what he should be paying based on his income. What he should have been paying for the last year plus that his income has been MUCH, MUCH MORE than what he claimed it was when he cut support in half - the direct result of which has been me struggling financially and trying to hang on to/sell my house. And if one person leaves a comment here telling me that I shouldn't count on child support to, well, help support my kids and where they live, they can fuck off right now cuz that's what it's supposed to be for! Just sayin'.

My ex was fully aware of what the financial ramifications were for me as a result of cutting child support in half (the "for sale" sign went up in my yard 3 weeks later) and when he sold his business - or I should say completed the sale of his business - just 8 weeks after reducing support - and yet he failed to disclose his "sudden" windfall for over a year. How convenient, for him, no?

There is so much more to this story but basically what I'm dealing with right now is a lot of legal harassment. My ex threatened (in an email) that if I went after a modification of child support (now that his real income has finally been disclosed) he would drag me through "a long drawn out" legal proceeding. But if I didn't seek any changes he would leave things as they are (me facing foreclosure with a ton of debt, thanks to the previous reduction).

Did I mention the ex just moved into a multi-million dollar home? The monthly payment on that thing - just the payment - would be equivalent to what I receive in child support for a YEAR!

What a prince, huh?



The Panty Thief

2010-08-30T07:56:18.057-06:00

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The missing sock problem is something we have all come to accept as part of life; a pair of socks goes in the wash and only one comes out. It happens.

How this can keep happening to millions of sock-wearers all over the world remains a mystery but most of us have learned to live with it and replenish our sock supply as needed.

Socks are pretty inexpensive so no big deal, really.

But what if your panties were going missing?

My male readers may appreciate pretty/sexy panties when they see them but what they don’t know (or maybe you do) is how expensive those little barely-there-lacy numbers can cost so when they go missing, not only is it a bit unsettling, it’s costly to replace them!

As is happens, I seem to have a problem with unexplained missing panties.

I first noticed it when one of my favorite pairs, a sheer white lacy t-back, went missing. I looked everywhere to no avail and finally could only deduce that they must have been taken from my laundry room during a showing (remember, my house is for sale).

Unsettling right?

See, I knew I had washed them and left them to hang dry (I hang dry all my lingerie) but had forgotten to put them away before the showing. It’s a laundry room and they were clean but still, who would do such a thing?

Since then I have been very careful to make sure my panties are not visible during showings.

So when I came home after a showing over the weekend to find yet another pair of panties missing I FREAKED OUT!

This time I had just taken that specific pair of panties out of my clean laundry basket and put them in the drawer right before the showing and when I came home to shower, dress and put them on they were gone! I went through the entire drawer one by one in disbelief but nope, still not there.

My panties were unmistakably TAKEN.

W.T.F???

Because I know how incredibly ridiculous this sounds I will not be calling the realtor to ask where my panties are but I know with one hundred percent certainty that my panties were in my drawer when I left and they were not there when I came home!

What would you do?



The Moon & Me

2010-08-26T09:17:46.523-06:00

Someone I have been talking with recently, and who knows me well, asked “Is there a full moon or something?” But since this question was followed by asking me if I was PMS-ing (which I'm not) I didn’t think anything of it at the time.Then yesterday my usually strong libido seemed to be in overdrive.I even tweeted this yesterday afternoon:“Soooo distracted today! Is there a full moon or something?”I’m not really sure why I brought the moon into it though.Later that evening my friend asked me, “Have you looked at the moon?”I went outside to look and sure enough, it was full.I looked online and found that it was officially full the night before, the 24th. As I read on I my mouth dropped open at how relevant it was to what has been going on with me over the last several days.Letting Go..."Full Moon is an opportune time of the month for purging rituals to take place. The light the full moon offers illuminates those things that are interfering with our spiritual advancements. Once we have become enlightened to ways that are blocking us, the easier to let go. The full moon ritual is for releasing or purging the things in our lives that no longer serve us such as addictions to food, drugs, or sex, relinquishing suffering involved in hurtful relationships, discharging physical and emotional pains, etc."On Saturday I began what I now see was a process of doing some purging - and I let go. I let go of the anger I had bottled up over a certain person and situation. And boy did I let it go - on the person I felt the anger towards. This person allowed me to express my anger and took the verbal tongue lashing like a champ. When it was over I felt like a weight had been lifted and then forgiveness and acceptance washed over me. Just like that.Then there’s this:Ceremony for Birthing Your Wishes and Desires"Setting aside a few minutes each month during the new moon phase to focus on yours wishes and desires will help give you clarity of mind and fill your heart with promise. When it comes to setting goals or planning ahead for your future there is no better time to get started than during the new moon. Any intentions stated or written down carries power, so please take care in considering the things that you really want.”Isn’t that what I just did with my Call to the Universe post?I’ve never paid much attention to the moon and its cycles or how it affects me before, but after the last week I think I will keep it in mind from now on. It certainly does give me pause and makes me wonder if the myths about a full moon have some validity.Have you ever noticed a connection between a full moon and events in your life? [...]



Hey Universe, Here's My Order

2010-08-24T20:53:29.133-06:00

You don’t have to read my blog for very long to know that I am currently single, dating and hoping to find a good man to share my life with.What I want from this man is quite simple really; honesty, respect, loyalty and of course, there has to be chemistry too.So far this man has eluded me and instead I have a failed marriage and two subsequent long-term relationships under my belt with men who were…let’s just say, lacking, in at least three out of four of those requirements – even one who met none of the above. (What was I thinking?!)I’ve loved, I’ve lost and I’ve learned.I’ve had my heart broken and I’ve been through the ringer a few times - but I am not jaded.I still believe in love and I also believe I will find a love that lasts someday.I know I am not alone in my desire to find my partner in life; far from it.Have you heard about Terri Carlson? She’s the woman on a mission to find a husband, specifically for his health insurance.Terri suffers from a genetic condition but she is unable to secure insurance on her own through conventional methods (and healthcare reform can’t help her in time) so this determined-to-live 45 year old woman decided to create a video on YouTube, a website and blog detailing her quest to find a well-insured husband.I hope Terri finds her man. So far she has received 7,000 or so responses and quite a few “proposals” so it looks like she may accomplish what she set out to do – stay alive and avoid financial ruin in the process. And with any luck, she will also find what so many of us are seeking in a life partner.David at Dadshouse wrote about how he “recently posted a heartfelt ad on craigslist”. He described it as his “shout-out to the universe of what I’m looking for.” He adds that it “doesn’t mean I’ll meet that woman online, but at least I’ve made my order to the Gods.”Today I am placing my own order to the universe (as well as the blogosphere) for my man – and for the right one this time; the one who will stick and stick by me.Incidentally, my Facebook status this morning - well before this post was in my head - was;“Now placing my order for a better day than yesterday, with a side of something awesome. Thank you.”With this post I hope that “something awesome” happens in the form of the man coming into my life - sooner rather than later.I am ready. And also very…ready. I do have a few more requests for the universe but will have to keep those to myself for the time being, although it’s not rocket science if you’ve been reading my blog for a while.The man would just be icing on the cake.[...]



Asking Too Much?

2010-08-23T12:12:20.239-06:00

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately about life and relationships and stuff and have recently wondered;

Do I have unrealistic expectations when it comes to my relationships with people?

On one hand I think I have set the bar too low in the past and therefore have taught people that I don’t expect much from them so then they don’t deliver much. And then there’s that moment when maybe they should deliver but don’t because the expectation for them to isn’t there and everything goes to shit.

And I fully accept my role in creating that scenario.

On the other hand, I think what I do ask of people I’m in a relationship with now is pretty simple; honesty, loyalty and respect - with the idea being that if all those things are present and practiced regularly, it’s safe to believe that my SO has my best interests in mind and actually cares that what they do affects me.

Not that issues won’t come up from time-to-time but when they do there’s a mutual commitment to work through them and find a solution or at least an understanding.

Is that asking too much?

Is that why it's so hard to find?



Dating & Communication Breakdown

2010-08-19T10:04:40.259-06:00

Something I’ve noticed in the last three months of my online dating experience is that despite all the technology at our fingertips and ways to stay connected, really connecting with someone new seems to be more difficult than ever.How can this be possible when email, texts, phone, facebook, twitter and online chatting are all made so easy and available to us on our electronic appendage - our PDA’s?I think it’s all about the follow through – or lack of it. From my own experience and reading about that of many others, the follow through seems to be a common issue.There are so many ways to communicate with ease and convenience these days and with that being the case there is no excuse for not getting back to someone in a reasonable time frame. What’s reasonable depends on the situation and prior communication but it all comes down to respect. On both sides.I am as guilty as anyone of receiving a text and not being able to respond right away and then completely forgetting about it until several hours or more have passed. I’ve also sent a text only to find it still sitting in my outbox a day later. Technology can fail sometimes and so can we; it happens.I think far too many people take this kind of thing personally and when they do some people will get annoyed, some will get pissed and some people will just fade away. Whatever the case, the reaction (or non reaction) can tell you something about the other person. And maybe even about yourself.I have lost interest in men quickly due to their communication style early on. Like the guy who went from texting several times a day to not at all, guys who act needy, and guys who wanted me to take the lead with every f’en thing. I absolutely refuse to pursue a man and if he can’t pick up the ball and run with it after it’s been thrown in his direction, then he is not the guy for me.I know it works both ways and that my communication style is not everyone’s cuppa tea either, and I’m fine with that. I’m a pretty direct communicator and find that people who don’t like or appreciate that aren’t going to be compatible with me anyway.My preferred methods of communicating with people (when face-to-face is not possible) are through email and text. I only talk on the phone when the other methods are not an appropriate option, like when driving or when a live conversation is more efficient.When it comes to online dating, I rarely talk on the phone with men before I meet them and quite often, even afterward. In fact, chatting on the phone with someone I don’t know well is annoying as hell for me and the idea of trying to get to know someone via the phone, especially before you’ve met in person, seems ridiculous. That’s just me though. I know other people don’t feel the same way. It’s also a completely different story when I do have a relationship with the other person on the line.We all have our preferences when it comes to communicating and getting to know someone but with communication being such a huge part of a relationship, I have found that being true to myself in this initial stage helps me weed out the people who aren’t compatible.What are your communication preferences when dating?What are your deal breakers?[...]



Acronyms That Make Ya Wanna Drink

2010-08-17T20:10:58.745-06:00

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A recent email exchange between me and Danielle: (edited to exclude other revealing sh*t)

Me:

I’m not having a good day. Just want to eat chocolate, drink wine, watch TV and have sex! Not really in that order but ya know what I mean.

Danielle:

What happened that your day is bad? Or just SOS?

Me:

What’s SOS?

I’m just PMS-ing.

Danielle:

Same old shit.

Me:

Oh, then I guess I have SOS AND PMS! Sounds like a reason to drink if ya ask me!

And you can add DBD to my list of 3 letter acronyms and reasons to drink!.

Danielle:

Ok, that made me laugh out loud. SOS, PMS and DBD, what a reason to drink!

Me:

Oh, and I forgot to add the SOB! (Ex)

Serenity NOW!

What 3-letter acronyms can you think of to add to this theme?



Serenity Now!

2010-08-17T10:39:17.173-06:00

For some reason the video visual here is disappearing. If this happens just click on the arrow at the bottom and it should play. The fact that this video won't embed right is very fitting.

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For a Friend

2010-08-12T08:32:32.358-06:00

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I’ve been thinking about my friend and fellow single parent blogger, Jim, a lot lately.

I’ve been reading Jim’s blog for a couple years now and last year I had the privilege of meeting this wonderful man in person. Jim made quite an impression on me and my daughter and our visit with him is now among my most favorite memories.

Jim was undergoing treatment for cancer at the time I met him (it wasn’t his first time) and since then he has been better and then got worse again. There were more treatments and more hospital stays and now Jim’s most recent prognosis is not looking good. Not at all.

As sad as it makes me to think about what could happen in the near future with Jim, I can’t imagine what he, friend to many and father of two young children, must be feeling right now.

On one hand, I know what it feels like to have to fight for my life, my livelihood, my kids and to survive it and come out on top only to lose everything I had and then still have to fight to keep what’s left (and all that really matters).
In a way, I live with another kind of cancer; an evil disease that keeps attacking me and that won’t go away no matter how hard I fight it and do what I need to do to survive.

It shouldn’t be this way, it’s not right, and it’s 100% beyond my control.

Sometimes I feel like giving up, or giving in to the “evil disease” but I can’t. I have a future and something to look forward to, like the possibility I WILL come out on top eventually and for good. And I won't have to fight anymore.

I want to believe that my friend Jim can too.

So I ask all of you who read this post to send some virtual hugs and healing vibes Jim’s way; pray for him if you pray or just send him some words of encouragement and support.

Thank you.



Online Dating Disaster

2010-08-09T09:33:37.745-06:00

A certain dating site I’ll call eCantCarryaTuneInaBucket recently ran a special; 10 days of “free” communication with matches who they claim are carefully selected based on a "multi-dimensional" compatibility profile.Upon the urging of a couple friends and due to the special offer I decided to give this dating site a try.After filling out the profile information, which took no less than 2 hours, only then did I discover that my “free” communication period with my matches would be faceless – unless I paid the monthly fee to see what they looked like before I communicated with them.Since I had already invested in filling out the 2 hour-long profile info, I fell for the bait-and-switch and paid for the pictures behind the profiles.Apparently I should have placed a higher level of importance on looks when I filled out the profile info (and I’m pretty sure that I picked 4 on a scale of 1-5).Among the many complete match-misses, eCantCarryaTuneInaBucket thinks I should go out with a 53 year old who looks 63 and lives in Colorado Springs.Please explain to me how someone 13 years my senior and who lives an hour and a half away is compatible?Not only that but as an added bonus one of my first matches just happened to be the Catman. Remember him? We know he is definitely NOT a compatible match for me. Not to mention I don’t even like cats!To the site's credit I did have one hot date; the one guy out of 85 matches so far that I’ve had ANY interest in whatsoever. So I’m left wondering:What. The. F*ck?And how can they match me with the one guy and then all these other guys that are so far off from being compatible it’s not even funny?I clicked on the button to receive some new matches and a message appeared that basically said I should “communicate with, keep an open mind and consider each one” of the pedophile and unibomber-looking “matches” they sent me.Um, no.I know who I’m attracted to and who I am not even remotely attracted to - and there is not any amount of communication that will change that to make them “compatible”.I have another week left on this service and a few more days on the other site.After that I am D-O-N-E with online dating.There may be more men to choose from online but after the last three months (as well as the other times I tried online dating during my 8 years of singledom) I’ve reached the conclusion that the odds are better in real life.That and I don’t have the time to waste that is necessary with online dating.I know this has worked for some people but the closest I ever got to online dating success was a year-long relationship with DBD. And you know how that ended.I’d much rather be single.[...]



Homewrecker

2010-08-04T20:28:42.170-06:00

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According to Urban Dictionary the definition of homewrecker is this:

1. One who comes into your life, and screws it all up. This involves stealing your boyfriend/girlfriend, puppy, your friends, until they pretty much take over your entire life.

Or this:

2. a person who goes after another/others who are already taken and succeeds.

And, as you know I have some, okay a lot, of experience with this particular situation.

So I’ve been thinking lately about boycotting Angelina Jolie movies.

But if I did that wouldn't I have to include Julia Roberts movies as well? Wasn’t she a homewrecker too? (except I really want to see Eat, Pray, Love)

If I were more ambitious, I would look up and include other well-known homewreckers.

And after reviewing that list you can see for yourself, (and may even know one) there are many.

I'm not saying the other party has no accountability, but really - it's the homewrecker who came along and presented the option in the first place. (see definitions above)

So why is this so…acceptable?



I'm Not Feeling Very Loved

2010-08-03T09:19:59.745-06:00

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As I mentioned in a previous post, it’s been pretty busy around here lately and I’m feeling the stress of a lot of major things that are going on right now.

Being stressed and sleep deprived is nothing new for me, in fact, it’s almost my *normal* so although I’d rather it wasn’t this way I’m still highly functional despite the stress and the reasons behind it.

Life goes on.

I still manage to have fun with friends, date and hang out with the kids - with the majority of my time being spent with the kids, especially LO who is my little shadow.

For a very long time now the kids are pretty much the reason why I get out of bed every day and keep doing what I’ve been doing, which is basically just what needs to be done.

Cuz really? Who else is gonna do it?

But before I get out of bed each day LO and I have our morning snuggle time. It’s our ritual, our special time and good for us both.

Yesterday that snuggle didn’t happen though. I was up and out of bed early to say goodbye to CoCo as she was leaving to go back to college for the fall.

LO woke up shortly afterward and with a busy day ahead, we skipped the snuggle time and just got going.

Later that afternoon, I was upstairs doing laundry and LO was downstairs with M-ster and her friend. Then out of nowhere LO was beside me with a sad face and she said;

“I’m not feeling very loved right now.”

Whoa.

I immediately smothered her with hugs and kisses and told her I loved her. I asked if she felt loved again and she said yes. Whew. But I regretted skipping our morning snuggle time and being so preoccupied with other things that day.

As it turned out, M-ster had said something that hurt LO’s feelings.

It wasn’t meant to hurt, it just did, and my little LO felt unloved because of it (and was probably more sensitive than usual due to the aforementioned reasons) so she sought it out and got the love she needed.

The simplicity of her statement, the reasons behind it and her actions hit me like a ton of bricks, ya know?

Profound sh*t right there, people.



Hot Date!

2010-08-02T09:22:50.204-06:00

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I had a date yesterday and guess what?

It didn’t suck!

Not only was I attracted to him, he’s also intelligent, articulate, witty…

Did I mention hot?

And he wants to take me out again.

And he texted me within an hour after our date.

Sounds promising, no?

There is one hitch though; dating him would mean breaking one of my personal guidelines I use for determining relationship potential. As in, the ink on his divorce has not been dry for very long and from experience I have found that usually means a guy is not ready for anything more than casual dating.

So we discussed it and based on what he said as well as the rest of our conversations and interactions, I think I can take a chance and make an exception.

After all, there is an exception to every rule, right?

And I don’t think there is such a thing as dating without risk.
To be continued...



Breath

2010-07-30T14:54:47.355-06:00

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It's been a rough and very busy week for me, hence the lack of posts here and comments on your blogs.

I also haven't been feelin' it much lately - a combination of being blocked, censored and preoccupied with my thoughts and tasks. So much to write about but not the right time to put it out there.

I will get back to "normal" soon, I'm sure.


**********

On another note I had a date last night. Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed myself on this one but unfortunately I am not attracted to him. At all.

*sigh*

I topped off the evening by meeting a good friend for some sushi, wine and great conversation. I was totally spoiled. I am very blessed to have such wonderful friends who know how to put a smile on my face. And who can afford spoil me every now and then.

**********

I have a pretty hot dating prospect right now and we are trying to set a day to meet. Oddly, he also has four kids.

Can you imagine? If things go well we could blow the Brady Bunch away!

There's also an interesting story on how we found each other but I will save that for later, depending on how things go.


**********

Hoping for a relaxing weekend with the kids, nice weather and some pool time.

Happy weekend all!




For Your Information

2010-07-23T09:07:01.957-06:00

Just because you have plenty of money to throw at an attorney to do your evil bidding for you

IT DOES NOT MAKE IT RIGHT

IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE RIGHT

IT DOES NOT MEAN I AM DOING SOMETHING WRONG

It just means you are a narcissistic, litigious asshole with money and a sick obsession with causing me harm.

And that you care nothing about what's best for the kids.



Online Dating Douchebaggery

2010-07-21T09:44:13.515-06:00

When I first signed up for the dating site 2 months ago, I was contacted by a guy we’ll call Ben. After a few emails back and forth he gave me his direct email address so we wouldn’t have to go through the site to communicate. His membership had also expired.

We made a date to meet and then he cancelled it the day of, citing a work-related conflict. He also said he was going to be traveling for work over the next six weeks but he would like to touch base when he returned.

I didn’t think much of it - other than it was a little weird and he probably wasn’t interested. I never wrote back.

So I was surprised to hear from him again last week, about 7 weeks after that last email. He wrote that he was back in town now and asked if I was still interested in meeting. I figured sure, why not? I didn’t have any other dating prospects for that week anyway so we planned to meet on Tuesday for happy hour.

That afternoon I got an email – he couldn’t make it. He was so sorry and could we please reschedule?

Okay, fine. At this point I wondered why the heck he reactivated his online dating subscription since keeping a date didn’t seem to be his thing.

But shit happens and I agreed to reschedule because like watching a bad movie, no matter how bad it gets, I’m compelled to see it through on the chance it has a good ending.

We rescheduled for happy hour on Thursday. That morning he sent an email;

“Mindy,

I wanted to touch base to ensure that you can make it tonight - I hope so - at 5:30. Let me know.Have a great day!

Ben”

I wrote him back and confirmed I would be there and was looking forward to finally meeting.

Two hours before our date I got this email:

“Mindy,

Meeting during the week is proving very difficult; I cannot meet due to work. I will be working until 9 PM tonight. If you forgive me and still wish to meet, let me know a date during a weekend that is open in your schedule.

Ben”

Now I’m irritated. This is the THIRD time this guy has cancelled on me!

But there’s the whole bad movie thing. I’m thinking I know how it ends now but really, I have nothing to lose and no plans for Friday so I wrote him back and let him know I could meet him for happy hour on Friday but that I had plans for the rest of the weekend.

I never heard back.

What the f*ck is wrong with people?

For those of you out there who are online dating;

Stop wasting other people’s time! If you’re not interested, just say so. Hell, the dating site even has responses all written up for you and all you have to do is click and send for fuckssake!!

Being a glutton for punishment, I have date for later this week. Different guy.



Analyze This

2010-07-20T08:33:57.518-06:00

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The other night I dreamt I had to ride my bike home from the airport. The airport in Denver is in the middle of nowhere and practically in Kansas and from my house (according to MapQuest) it is just over 35 miles away. All highway.

Now, I’ve never ridden my bike even close to that far before nor have I been on a bike ride at all in at least a few years.

At some point on my way home I saw the Denver Cupcake Truck and decided I’d earned a break and a cupcake since well, I was going to be riding my bike for 35 miles.

After eating my delicious chocolate cupcake with marshmallow frosting, (not sure if they actually make this but YUM!) I bought a whole bunch of cupcakes in a variety of flavors to bring home to the kids.

And then I was negotiating a deal to buy the Cupcake Truck business from the owner!

I’m not sure what I was planning to buy it with since apparently I had to ride my bike home from the airport. Oddly I don’t remember where I was coming home from and I had no baggage with me.

No baggage.

And cupcakes.

And I was riding a bike.

And still bringin’ it home for the kids.

Aren’t dreams funny?



I Need a Reminder

2010-07-16T08:02:01.754-06:00

There are quite a few thoughts rattling around in my head these days but nothing I can put out there just yet. Maybe someday.

So for now, here is the edited version:

1) It's been almost 4 weeks since I first got sick. Although the throat pain is long gone I still have an annoying cough and my voice has not yet returned to normal.

CoCo says I sound like a tranny. I think I sound like Brenda Vaccaro. Men say I sound like Demi Moore. I just want my own damn voice back!

2) Whatever this lingering sicky-thing is, its making more tired than usual.

3) Tired means less productive.

4) And less active. I did manage to get through my usual workout routine on Tuesday (while hacking up my lungs the whole time) and am seriously sore all over now - which makes it very clear I am outta shape.

5) Somehow I have managed to continue with the online dating thing. I think it's because I am no stranger to the cycle of hope and despair - or at least getting my hopes up only to be disappointed again and again thinking one day, ONE DAY, my perseverance will pay off in life and in love. But sometimes I wonder; will it?

6) Being that it's summer and the kids are all here at home, making messes, "borrowing" my stuff, wanting me to do things for them, making messes, giving me attitude, making messes, etc.

CAN YOU PLEASE REMIND ME OF THE JOYS OF SINGLE PARENTHOOD??!!