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Preview: Chewin in the Chung

Chewin in the Chung

Sipping aqua vitae, spitting aqua fortis.

Updated: 2018-03-23T09:32:31.732+08:00


Back in My Day


When we were kids, we used to drink water straight from the garden hose. We used to ride bikes without helmets, and try to jump bike ramps that were poorly constructed of plywood and concrete blocks. We addressed our elders as “Sir,” “Ma’am,” or “Grand Inquisitor.” And we didn’t spend afternoons sitting in the house playing Xbox or PlayStation. We created our own weapons out of baseball bats



I was given a grooming kit as a gift. That's an appropriate present, because no one would ever accuse me of being overly fastidious. But in the (Zwilling, J.A. Henckels) leather case, there are two pair of scissors. Does anyone know their purposes? Like, is one for cuticles and the other for nose hair?



Myths, Dads, and Photon Torpedoes


Editor's note: I was looking for an old e-mail from someone, and found this thing that I wrote in 2006. While you would not be surprised to find that I did not treat the subject with any gravitas, what is interesting is that I utterly failed to anticipate that the men's movement would morph into something much darker and angrier. Even funnier, I have had more than ten PSA (Prostate Specific



Best of


Context: What Ever Happened To Brendan Fraser?

Case Law


At my high school in 1984, I took a class called "Legal Studies." It was a simple introduction to U.S. and state legal systems, and I think it was pretty effective. (Shout out to Mrs. Taylor, who had to deal with 17 year-old Chaon and his sleeveless shirts. And his attitude. And the 'Eat McShit and Die' button. Which he tried to wear on the state prison field trip.) We learned about The

Marin County


I've been in and out of Marin County since 1989*.  It's a nice place, with areas of remarkable natural beauty.  Aside from the traffic problems on 101 and the cost of living, it seems like a good location in which to live. But there are certain things that come to mind when someone says "Marin County". Some of these things are: rich people, liberals, woo, illegal laborers, vegans, vegetarians,

OK, I'll use the other door.




Buying digital currency with my credit card. Sounds like a foolproof way to get rich. 

Embedded Tweet for Posterity


Just beautiful. Last night we captured surveillance footage of a vandal trying to break in to one of our employee's vehicles in our parking lot. While the suspect is still at large, we took the liberty to have John Curley give his play-by-play of the incident.Take a listen 🔊— KIRO Radio 97.3 FM🎙 (@KIRORadio) February 1, 2018

Acroamatic Hat Trick


For the first time in 152 years, a supermoon, blue moon, and total lunar eclipse will coincide.  And I think we all know what that means...

In the News


Chinese culture proven extra insecure.



Do my shit undercover, now it's time for the blubba Blabber, to watch that belly get fatter Fat boy at the station, pure vexation I'll drop yo' ass with some blazing crepitation

I'm Skeptical


Because everyone knows that the poor man's Ted Nugent is still Ted Nugent. There is no lower grade.



Accentuate the negative



This is...


...literally the best bar policy I have ever seen. Dive Bar Says It Will Kick Out Anyone Who Uses the Word 'Literally' I would assume that any customer who says "on fleek" is banned for life.

2017 was stupid. How is the new year turning out?


Bad news. Still stupid.

You know what I think?


I think all the Freedom High Schools (FHS) should have a competition to see which school actually has the most Freedom™. First Round: FHS Oakley, CA eliminates tardy slips  FHS Orlando, FL allows students to bring food into classrooms.  FHS Orlando wins! FHS North Carolina allows students to opt out of Phys Ed forever FHS Oklahoma eliminates dress codes FHS Oklahoma wins! Semi-Finals



Technically he's "anhedonic"



2018-01-08T13:09:00.436+08:00 was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair



Everyone is talking about the newly-discovered vulnerability in the architecture of a bunch of CPUs. But the vulnerability is to "side-channel attacks" and I didn't know what that was. So I looked it up. I seems that a side-channel attack requires physical access, so maybe the security threat isn't as dire or widespread as the media is making it out to be. But on the side-channel attack page they