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Preview: KAZ


Even Idler.

Updated: 2018-01-13T01:12:49.278+00:00




Carol - Kaz to you all - died in her sleep early in the morning of Valentine's Day.

Her funeral was attended by about 50 people which, considering she has two living relatives, shows how much people thought of her. It was conducted - according to her instructions - by her friends and was a warm and friendly gathering. The music she had chosen was

(Thanks you for the) Days - The Kinks (entry)
Soave Sea Il Vento - trio from Mozart's opera Cosi Fan Tutte (for silent reflection)
Don't Fear The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult (exit)

The message she left for me ended with the instruction 'enjoy life', which I am sure she would extend to you all.




Thanks to all you wonderful bloggers who never give up on me.

Here's a copy of an email I sent out yesterday. Just thought I'd post a copy for all of you.

Dear All
Kev emailed you all in May when it seemed that I had just a little time to live. I'd just come home from MRI and hadn't eaten for weeks. My new GP used the word 'terminal' for the first time to me, and I didn't know he had already told Kev that I had only a month or so left. Looking at the photos from that time I can see why.

However, I started eating again and regained some weight.
It seems that the chemo had destroyed some of the tumour but the illness it also caused has left me unable to walk, so I have been confined to my bed for most of the year.

But I am not well, and not eating again - who knows what is to come.
A belated thank you for all your good wishes and I hope you all have a good new year.

Happy 2011 to all
from KAZ ( now with HAIR)



KerrieDinahDave - hope this helpsMJhe made it just for youXL (Hope it isn't still alive) Ponita & Ziggi - take your choice View - is it Friday yet? Steve - which one is you? Savannah - munchmammaSorry if I missed you out. Let me know what you'd like.[...]

pix 4 u


Pictures 4 UTyping wears me out, so I'm using some of my picture collection to entertain you. I haven't given any links. You can find them in the blogroll on the right.This is part 1. Part 2 coming soon.Arabella (glamour on legs)Rog (and Mrs Rine) - how lovelyTony from Hebden Bridge (Polish made in England)BettyGeoff - Haute puisineKevin - better than Lego any dayMacy -Can we shareNiC - the latestRoses - you didn't find out, did you?Vicus - Christmas is soon.ScarletKAZ[...]



I possibly spend more time reading the Radio Times than watching the television. I just like to know what I'm missing. Alison Graham is one contributor who makes sense - I agree that we can well manage without another series of Heartbeat - I thought it ended years ago. However she then goes on to compare it with Battenburg - too sweet and soon forgotten. You can go off people. So - In the absence of my energy - have fun choosing your favourite cake. Add one of your choice if you wish Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!Victoria spongeCarrot cakeBakewell Tart(This is the real thing)Custard TartCustard (vanilla) sliceChocolate cakeTunnocks Tea cakeKAZ[...]

Piccadilly Circus


KAZ's FULLY ILLUSTRATED TWEETS It seems that a lot of you still don't like Twitter.So I'm going to tweet right here on the blog againTweet 4:People who visit my home - Kev, Doctors, Carers, District Nurses, Social workers, Macmillan nurses, Physiotherapist, Chiropodist, Do gooders, Anorexic Anne from no 22, Scintillating friends, Sad lads, Jazz fan.And I'm supposed to be a loner!Tweet 5:I support Spain usually instead of Gerard and Rooney.But I stand to win £100 if Holland win (tenner at 10 to one)????Tweet 6:We live practically next door to Sainsbury's - look what's on BOGOF.Back the van up Rog!KAZ[...]

Twitter hates me




.. I type in the box, press the tweet button and NOWT..
It's been going on for 3 days. What am I doing wrong?


tweets 1 to 3


KAZ's FULLY ILLUSTRATED TWEETS I hear that a lot of you don't like Twitter.So I'm going to tweet right here on the blog todayTweet 1: I'm exhausted most of the time - but I'll read your blogs asap.Tweet 2: This afternoon my scintillating friends come to see me. Catering by Kev.Picture of Scintillating friendsPicture of KAZTweet 3: You can't take it with you (thanks JL and internet)KAZ[...]

1945 ..... ?????


(image) KAZ - January 2010.
(KAZ = 0 CANCER = 1 )

You'll never know how much all those comments meant to me - You are so wonderful and I even love a few of you.

I'm too weak to blog but I can manage a Tweet

Bluntly -
  • Ovarian cancer diagnosed JAN
  • Chemotherapy went wrong
  • MRI (emergency ambulance) for a month.
  • Didn't eat at all for weeks
  • Now refusing any more treatment.
  • Still bedridden but now eating so found a bit of energy.
I'll tweet again.


Sorry Folks - and thanks so much for your concern.
As you see, they got me again.
Taking a break.

Love KAZ.



Is it Easter yet?Looks like it must be - as I've seen lots of chocolate eggs, bunnies, chics and PAXO.Before my idling days I had to check out the date of Easter as early as Boxing day. It was essential to plan a holiday to escape the drizzle.I have spent Easter in Freezing Fuengirola, Hurricane hit Heraklian and there was that Tornado in Torremolinos.Don't ask about Lanzarote.But, this Easter, I shall not Be Queuing at B and Q, getting my kicks on the M66 or joining the locals up Rivington Pike. The venues in the Saturday Guardian '100 Things for Kids to do' will be avoided and the Costas will thrill to Ryanair mobs without me.Kev and I will share a CD and a pizza - here's one I made earlier.KAZ[...]



I woke up on Friday to find a black smudge underneath my eyebrow. I've asked Kate to model it for me (above). Probably mascara - I thought - so I scrubbed away with soap and water to no avail until a look in the magnifying mirror confirmed a wrinkle.Now, for a woman who watched the first episode of Coronation Street, this comes as no surprise. By the time Factor 35 was invented it was too late for me and I always preferred Poyfilla to prevention anyway. But I thought that wrinkles were caused by facial expression. You know like laughter lines and frown lines. So how did that deep longitudinal groove appear just there?Would any of these emotions have caused it? Anyone else remember Five Boys choc? Done Fadeaway couldn't be on the Five Boys wrapper could she?Her hands tell the full story. I remember her as the most beautiful creature on the planet in Bonnie and Clyde? So - no Botox for KAZ. But I might try this.KAZ[...]

You Send me


'50 original gems - The Roots of Soul' a double CD from FOPP costing £3 which Kev brought home as a gift for Kaz. Tight? Kev? As it was playing, he Googled Sam Cooke. Then he asked ...'Kaz .... er .... Had your Sam Cooke got long blonde hair and an impressive chest?' 'Yes to the hair, but her chest was pretty average'. He showed me the picture which I compared with my snap taken in 2005. KAZ's photo - click to check it's Sam. And Yes! It's the same person - before enhancement.My Sam Cooke was Samantha. She spent three years in my A level Chemistry class. Her brain was spot on, her attitude wasn't. But I liked her. Even when totally outrageously in the wrong she made me laugh. Even when her lateness was unforgivable we were entertained by her repartee and great outfits. Sam usually did her prac. with a dopey lad called Dave. No one understood my Sam and Dave 'Hold on I'm coming' jokes.So my Sam Cooke has done well for herself - Page three girl, cover of NUTZ, FHM, Loaded etc.. She's even talking politics.Obviously with my immaculate feminist credentials I have difficulty with this. But hey - Several of my students have done well but they never had their own calendar.Here's the real thing.KAZ[...]



Last week I visited the retail paradise that is Crown Point North. Do you remember? It's the one where you can drive your car up, park outside River Island and walk right in. And there's H&M and TK Maxx next door. But I was in (non food) Tesco trying on blokes' hats which had been slashed in price.I was trying on one like this ..... .... when I noticed a young woman standing on my left trying to speak into my deaf(ish) ear which was completely covered by the ear flap. She was showing me a baby pram suit a bit like the one in the picture but with only one teddy. Gradually I realised to my astonishment that she was asking MY opinion - on baby clothes ??!! Did I think it looked boyish ? Thinking that she was worried about her little boy looking a bit soft, I reassured her that it was a neutral colour and would look fine on either a boy or a girl. Looking unconvinced, she showed me inside the pram. It was 100% pink with pink toys, pink pillows and pink bedding. The child was in pink with a pink ribbon in her non existent hair.'I don't want anyone to think she's a boy' she said anxiously.The poor young woman has been brainwashed.This is NEXT in Manchester. This is Jordan's daughter Princess Tiaamii. We are going back to the bad old days. click to bigKAZ[...]

Over to YOU.


It is a truth universally acknowledged, that the best part of this blog is the comments box.
And your comments on the previous post were certainly heated, stimulating, provocative .. and funny as well.

So much so that this cool dude suggested "You don't need to blog Kaz ... just have comments"

Excellent idea
- so over to you.
Say anything you like.

You could comment about commenting - why do you do it and do you enjoy it?

Go on - indulge me.


let's Hear it for GORDON


Puleeeese .....Will everybody stop being horrible to GordonOr GoBo as we now know him. OK - I know he's been shouting at a few people but that's because he's never been on one of those 'Negotiation Skills' courses like Tony and Dave. And he can't let it out on the Rugger pitch like the old days - when he had two eyes. So YES - I'm backing Gordon Brown! He's awkward and difficult to like and has no social or communication skills. But Tony had those in buckets didn't he?(Thanks to Mr Rabbit for the pic)So give Gordon a chance. Stop blaming him for Blair's crimes. They all supported the Iraq war apart from Robin - it was a brave person who would take the risk that Saddam had no WMD. And Gordon did fix up our economy - for a bit.That nice Mr Cameron will solve our education woes by giving us good teachers with 2.2 honours degrees. Would he really turn away a Physicist with a third*? I don't think so. All new mums will get a special maternity nurse in the home for 6 hours a day - she'll probably start shagging the husband who will be desperate for it by this time. Ask Jude Law about it. Oh and David's in favour of overturning the fox-hunting ban which 'made him furious'. Gordon is so pathetically gauche he can't do it the smarmy Blairy way. OK - he may be a lost cause - but let's give him a bit of support. Or else the pup gets it ... and so do WE!KAZP.S. There's a letter in yesterday's paper that says it so much better.[...]



When they did that thing in hospital I only had two little pricks before they inserted a tube into my abdomen. But not hurting is not the same as not hearing.Phrases like - 'Jimmy usually does it like this - or I sometimes put a stitch here - what do you think?' are not reassuring. Then there's 'Have we run out of rubber gloves again/ where's that no9 scalpel we used last week - or can you get me that allen key we used for the Billy bookcase?' All stuff I don't want to hear. When Lady Penelope's Ron had his bypass surgery (she was a bit pissed off about this because she'd just discovered he was having a torrid affair and had to stop being horrible to him) we just saw it as fair punishment. But I digress - apparently they did the thing through a tube inserted into the groin (ouch) area.During his preparation when he was obviously feeling terrified the theatre staff were all discussing boyfriends and holidays until the surgeon showed up when respect and hush descended. Z seemed to be OK with her wide awake op - she had a choice of music. Poor Ziggi had the full knock out but was allergic to the anaesthetic which had alarming consequences. Next time KaZ will take her ipod with earphones. (Ed - what next time??) KAZ[...]

Sexual Chemistry


So the chemistry achievements of the commenters range from total failure to a magnificent CSE grade 3. I suspect a few of you may have been a tad modest.But I wonder how you'd score on Sexual Chemistry?Vivien and Gerald had it in buckets (see above).Probably this Gerald as well.If there was nothing going on in the test tube my students wrote NVR for their observation. It means No Visible Reaction.The exquisite Audrey Hepburn had NVR with Whatsisname in 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'. I watched it on DVD last week.So who has sexual chemistry?Perhaps these Synchronised smokers:He probably only sees her for the photo op these days:Richard Burton and Liz without a doubt.But what about Liz and this other thin friend?Maybe?But undoubtedly the most Effervescent, Exothermic, Explosive couple ever on the large or the small screen had to be Mike and Alma:Dontcha still miss them?KAZ[...]

The Elements


I hope you're all watching that "Chemistry: A Volatile History" series on BBC 4. *No - neither am I*After trying 5 minutes of 'The Periodic Table' episode (because The Periodic Table is brilliant) I gave up. It was excruciatingly tedious. The one above (which hangs on my wall) was a perfect present for a vegetarian chemist. I think View would like this one.So I know you'll be waiting for me to give you an interesting lesson about The Periodic Table. *thinks about it for a few seconds*Well this is the best periodic table site - just click on an element for info.And Tom Lehrer's song tells all. Sorry NiC - but Lauren brings back some memories in this one. There now - that wasn't too bad was it?KAZ[...]

Back to the Future


Nostalgia was invented in the late sixties when we discovered William Morris, aspidistras, purple velvet and sideburns. Knotty pine was to follow. You had to go back to the future. When I was a kid everyone tried to predict what life would be like in 'The future'.Nobody bothers now as they know we'll all rot in hell.This wasn't science fiction it was based on science and I really believed it would all happen.Anyone remember The Jetsons? Cities would be covered by a transparent roof which would protect us from the rain (good for Manchester). We would travel in the air by some sort of helicopter or aerial road system and metallic robots would do all our boring tasks. Our clothes would be polyester self cleaning one piece catsuits and we would get all our nourishment from a pill. Jamie, Delia, Nigella and Gordon remained unpredicted. No one was ever hard up, riding a bike or scruffy. The goldfish bowl on the head seemed to be the prevailing fashion. (Patti Boyd on the right??) This was to protect the air hostess's (sic) hairdo. The top pic (click to read) is fascinating, though I don't think the 'phono vision receiver' is a laptop with internet. But one thing doesn't change.Note that the women are shopping, cooking or discussing fashion with a pal. KAZ[...]



How to make trifle by KAZ's mum. Take a pack of those trifle sponges that taste and feel like expanded polystyrene, slice in middle and make sandwiches with lashings of raspberry jam. Place in bottom of large valuable bowl that just appeared one day from nowhere and add nearly half a bottle of Harvey's Bristol Cream bought from the woman at no12 for £1 - no questions asked. Add very very deep layer of custard - must be Birds.Add very very deep layer of whipped double cream. Do not under any circumstances add jelly or fruit.Never sprinkle hundreds and thousands or chocolate buttons on top.*************************** It was orgasmic - and it started a lifelong passion for custard which was reactivated in hospital last week.I even loved school dinner custard which was watery and beige and poured in copious volumes from grey metal jugs onto Rainbow Sponge, Manchester Tart and Spotted Dick.For the more sophisticated there is Crème Caramel or 'flan' as they call it in Europe. My present favourite is Crema Catalana Perfect to round off a feast of Paella and Calamares.So - what's your comfort food of choice?KAZ[...]

They Finally Got Me


Remember I said that I would top myself rather than go into hospital.Well they said it would only be one night and it wasn't MRI. So rational thought persuaded me to accept the bed. They phoned on Monday night and I turned up promptly on Tuesday at 9am to be taken to bed 20. It wasn't on the long ward - it was in a double room where I was tucked into the corner with a nice view of the wheelie bins.I've had much worse hotel rooms.My room mate woke up and asked for the TV to be switched on. I sat through about 3 hours of Molly telling Tyrone that he couldn't cut the mustard.Emma then fell asleep hugging the remote while the rest of ITV2's morning fare and its excruciating adverts blared forth.I finished all 320 pages of this before tea time. In the evening Emma left and Yvonne arrived. Later she told me about seeing Muddy Waters at The Twisted Wheel in her Mary Quant style dress. We negotiated on telly. With the remote control bed and toast and marmalade(Duerrs) for breakfast I managed to survive. Kev came to visit in the afternoons. To avoid two hours of moaning about hospital parking and premiership referees I told him to bring the crossword. So we didn't have one :)But one night??? They lied.My blood was too thin to do the 'procedure' so I had to wait for it to get thicker. By Friday I was so thick I could hardly find the initiative to clean my teeth.My release came on Saturday evening after 5 days of idling in captivity.By this time I was 100% institutionalised. No need for hugs just yet - I'll tell you if I need any when I know more. KAZ[...]

Lateral Thinking


Remiss is not a strong enough word.I am negligent and neglectful in my responsibilities as a dutiful blogger.After telling you there had been changes to my living arrangements, I forgot to report back.Well fear not - cohabitation is still not on the agenda. But the previous arrangement has gone forever.I've moved upwards and forwards. My damp, sunless, ground floor quarters have been swapped for a sunny upstairs matchbox.If I had a cat it would remain unswung. View in summer....and in winter... yes it's noisy. Unlike the downstairs flat this one has a cooker - and look what I found inside. Kev's front door is 3 strides away. I'm at the front and he's at the back. The shared wireless router and telephone don't work any more (thin ceilings/thick walls?)We still prefer to speak on the phone or Skype and get together on the same schedule as before. But it's better. It doesn't have that upstairs superior - downstairs inferior vibe. I'm elevated and equal. It's a vast improvement. KAZ[...]



(image) After an insane phone conversation with Debbie who obviously came from Barry Island and insisted that my insurance premium would go up by £40 because I now kept the 'onda in a secure locked garage, I needed to get some sense from their website.

So I had to register.

After all the usual details they asked me for a password. This used to be simple. I always used a six letter, made up word that was a total secret.

A few years ago that ceased to be enough - it had to be more than 6 letters

Then they wanted letters and numbers.

The AA needed letters and numbers including some CAPITAL letters.

There's no chance of remembering all these new passwords so you have to write them down
which defeats the purpose. But there's always the 'have you forgotten your password' link. You sometimes have to answer a security question which is usually your mother's maiden name.

This always makes me chuckle.

As you know I am an now an urban urbane sophisticate - but I lived in a small village until I was 18. Everyone knew everyone else and most people (e.g. my mum) had been born, raised, educated and married there. So every woman was still called by their maiden name until the day she died.

It was the married name that was impossible to remember.

I recall coming home from Annie 'ardman's local toffee shop and asking 'Mum is Annie 'ardman related to Ron Snape? They're always in there together'.
Yes they've been married for 30 years she replied followed by one of her regular elocution lessons.

I couldn't wait to leave my suffocating village, but I think this was an excellent custom.
Keep your own name and only use the married one for formal or legal stuff.


Tiny Tits.


It's bloody cold isn't it?Do you ever wonder how any of the tiny tits survive? Do they ever feel envious of the larger members of the species?This one is all tail. Without its tail - the long tailed tit would be Britain's smallest bird.Our smallest bird (it weighs the same as a 20p piece) is one of my favourites. The beautiful goldcrest. I remember reading that in cold weather the tiny birds all huddle together for warmth - roosting in groups can save up to 70% of their energy . What an excellent idea. Grown men often do it in the middle of summer. Now some of you don't get a heating allowance and thermals aren't always enough.[click to enlarge]So let's all get on Twitter (teehee) and arrange a mass huddle. We'll all meet up in East Angular because 97%of bloggers already live there.What a wonderful way to reduce our carbon footprint.KAZ[...]