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Preview: And I told you so..

And I told you so..



Random thoughts on life and the lighter side of life. It is like doing things all over again, only a hundred times better. It is learning how to keep my sanity and just take things as they come. It is about letting go and finding that one true thing that



Updated: 2016-05-20T10:56:08.922+08:00

 



Dear Jen

2014-05-23T17:06:59.159+08:00

Dear future Jen,You have aged tremendously in the past years. Your progress has been impressive, though. Apart from the binge eating and cravings, the usual craziness that goes along with PMS, the highs and the lows of workloads and the day to day routines that make life more exciting, I’d say your pretty alright to me. I’d say congratulations but I am sure that you’d frown upon my laudatory remarks.  The fine lines and wrinkles in your forehead serves as a memento that you have, after all, learned to toughen things it up. A lot of things happened in the last two years. The last two years was one of the defining moments of your life. You are no stranger to struggles and heartbreaks except 2012 proved to be the toughest year yet. It was one of the worst heartbreak that you had to go through. Clearly, heart break is an understatement. You were devastated, thwarted, torn and left incapacitated. You never expected that your father’s passing away would have left you so broken and so lost. It left you cautious and in so doing, created an invisible bubble. Until now, I can still see that you are picking up the pieces, still finding your way out from the black hole. You still are in distraught and inconsolable. Admit it, there is still a tinge of denial in your eyes.  I tell you, I will never go easy on you. Nevertheless, consider this as unsolicited advice; your heart will continue to bleed in the coming days, weeks, months and years.  Over the years (even after his passing away), it will still hurt a bit (and a bit means a lot!). It is reasonable that you cry, that you sob in the secret corner of your room and perhaps, you will even feel that your future with your doting father has been robbed off from you. It is the COLD TRUTH and there’s no getting over it. You just have to let it go. Here’s the surprising part,though. You will be astounded on how your inner strength has carried you over the days. Your spirit to thrive will come a long way and with the support of generous people surrounding you, you will definitely come through and rise above it all. Baby steps and that is all that you need. Nobody is asking you to stop grieving over your loss. Take things one step at a time and may I ask that you be kind to yourself. Go easy on yourself! You deserve that. You deserve to live a life that is full even if it means that temporarily your beloved Father has to embark on a journey without you. Learn to let go but never let go of the memories and the precious time you both have shared. With much love,The Older version of Jen [...]



going the distance

2012-09-07T15:07:25.161+08:00

Our coming together was the one shot we had to make. We made it happen. inspite and despite of the distance, you made an extra effort to make things easier for a neophyte like me.It was not a walk in the park. we had to endure off hours to chat and even, do video calling. We were amazed of the many similarities that we have. We discovered, altogether that we are imperfect and that we have a long way to go, a long, long way to go. Life is full of surprises and at times, we have disagreements and some quiet moments but, we will surely make it . Thank you for being the grandest surprise of my life. And i am sorry if i broke your heart over and over again. :(



the Relopez sisterhood

2012-02-19T14:48:46.623+08:00

(image) Today, happens to be the 33rd Birthday of my sister! Although, we are miles away from her, we wanted to surprise her.

Here's my nephew with his own Do-it-yourself Birthday card for her Mama.


I love you sister (to bits)!




defenseless

2012-02-19T12:32:39.507+08:00

Unwanted feelings and memories started kicking in. Needless to say, i am just defenseless and useless when these things get me. I just can't stop myself from thinking what i could have done to make things better. I could have done or said something to simply put us out of our misery. If only i could have been stronger, bolder and just accepting.

Now, it's too late to seek for redemption and i guess i will never know the truth to our supposedly story. It shall remain in the shadows, in our not-so distant past.

I will never be sorry but then again, if i could have just said "yes" instead of saying "no".
Let us be happy and live our lives to the fullest.
Things will be better and we shall start a new chapter with much love and respect of what we truly have.

Thank you and Here's to us!



i got em' memorized!

2012-02-19T12:33:22.178+08:00

Today, i am convinced that i am a walking contradiction. I know for a fact that there are bad days and definitely, there are good ones.

I feel like there isn't enough time and so i want to do things by the book. I am a creature of habit and it is really difficult for me to break away from my routines.

I would rather stay on the safe side than to explore the unexplored. It has its adavantages since i work well with routines.

At times, i wish that i would be bolder and that "courage" would be one of those traits that i would love to acquire. In the near future, i would love to say that i have ended all my lingering "What ifs" and "Could have beens". In the coming days, months, i will be reinvented - a better and a much improved "ME" for the year 2012.




Much

2012-02-19T12:33:50.454+08:00

These days, i would say that I am happier. It has been a breakthrough year for me. And i owe it all to HIM. Thank you, dear God!



on the 16th

2012-02-19T12:34:12.758+08:00

Summer 2011 is something I will always love not just because for one, April happens to be my birth month but because this has become the turning point of all things for me.

On the 16th, I took my whole day Comprehensive exam for my Grad Studies and it was just weird thinking that I had to spend all day in School taking 5 different sets of Examinations and that the 16th was my birthday! Talk about mental torture. My day went by so slow with much anxiousness, to be exact. I had to admit that I was a bit on my 'off mood' because I was sour graping.

Normally, when its your birthday you ought to enjoy but mine was entirely a different one. I had to endure an 8 hour ordeal but the Exams had to be done. And so, I took the exam thinking that I might as well pass it since i so deserve this as my birthday gift. (Btw, I found out last May 5 that I passed the Compre exam).

It was also the day that HE came home. I would say that it was a pretty big deal for the both of us. It was something that we were looking forward to since January. It was the 'grand gesture' and will always be appreciated. The gift and the flowers were just an icing in the cake. It was HIS presence that topped it all.

Thank you, April 16. 2011! It will always be the day that I experienced extreme emotions in a day.

It was my DAY and Night!



OST

2012-02-19T12:35:30.941+08:00

1. Stolen by Dashboard Confessional
2. Brighter than Sunshine byAqualung
3. Distance by Evan and Jaron
4. I didn't know I was looking for love by Eveything but the Girl
5. Far Away by Nickelback
6. Somewhere only we know by Keane
7. With You by Chris Brown
8. The Little Things by Colbie Calliat
9. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
10. Love Song by 311



the 1st of 2011

2012-02-19T12:35:57.366+08:00

Welcoming 2011 with B-A-N-G!

Hoping for a fruitful and blessed year to come with good times with my family and friends!
Cheers to Happiness!



IT SUCKS, BIG TIME!

2012-02-19T12:36:18.479+08:00

This day has just been disastrous for me. It's just one whole SUCK BIG TIME DAY for me! When all else fail, i just retreat to my own Jenny's world where no one and i mean no one is there to bother me.
I just cannot get things straight today. Everyting is a mess and everything just feels awful!



Imeldific

2012-02-19T12:36:42.886+08:00

Finally got my own pair of Suelas and I love it!
It's a girl thing, i know but who would have thought that i have this Imelda streak in me. Im starting to go loco over SHOES particularly comfy flats.

In cloud 9!



Terrified

2012-02-19T12:37:15.973+08:00

Just the love this song. I guess it's one of the BEST well kept songs for 2010!


Terrified by Katharine Mcphee

You, by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full of wrong
You're the thing that's right

Finally made it through the lonely
To the other side

You set it again, my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark

And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time and the last time
In my only life

And this could be good
It's already better than that
And nothing's worse
Than knowing you're holding back

I could be all that you need
If you let me try

You set it again, my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark

And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time and the last time
In my only

I only said it 'cause I mean it
I only mean 'cause it's true
So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming
'Cause it fills me up and holds me close whenever I'm without you

You set it again, my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark

And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time and the last time
In my only





The Only Exception

2012-02-19T12:37:35.668+08:00

When I was younger, I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart and I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love if it does not exist

But darling, you are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways to make it alone
Or keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance
And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

But you are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof, it's not a dream, oh

You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing



We are worth it!

2012-02-19T12:38:31.696+08:00

the first of the many beautiful things to come

things are in the total opposites of me. im more of the traditionalist yet what seems to be happening in my life are the total opposites.
im more of a conformist. i try to be just the plain old jane yet im drawn to things that are just out of the ordinary. my head can get a bit distracted at times. and my heart, a bit unstable and wreckless.
i say this and that but its entirely a different story in my head. everyday is a struggle to be good at something. everyday is an opportunity to make things happen. and today, i took the challenge. i made things happen. i've commited myself to what i think is promising and something worth all these, inspite the distance, time difference, experiences and just the daily routines that we have to go through, we are worth it. we are worth something!



SKIM 101

2012-02-19T12:39:00.198+08:00

(image)





get in over your head!

2012-02-19T12:39:26.855+08:00

"The point being, sometimes you have to get in over your head to realize that you’re not really in over your head at all. Two years ago, I got a job that I desperately wanted but had no idea how to do. So I took it, endured several panic attacks, and eventually learned the ropes. My choices were either figure it out or get fired. The bottom line: Most of the time, a high-risk situation won’t kill you, because you are stronger than you think. And it’s never a bad thing to be reminded of that".

by: Amy Ozols (a cultural commentator and writer for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon)






Last Kiss of 2010

2012-02-19T12:43:31.259+08:00

Eight months have passed since 2010 knocked on our doorstep. I have promised myself that I should have an annual To-Do List but unfortunately for 2010, it came later than expected.Since I have a few months (4 months to be exact) before I kiss 2010 goodbye, I’d like to make a LIST of a few things that I have to achieve within the year. It should be something that is new, exciting and a daredevil stunt for me since im up for challenges these days.Here’s a few of my To-Do List for the remaining 4 months of 2010Davao Sights Must visit Villa de Mercedes (VDM) and Emar’s Wave Pool for total R n’ RMust try crazy, wild ZORBING at Zorb Park at Riverfront Corporate CityCommit to a healthier lifestyle (Fruits, Veggies, Vitamins and Exercise)Organize some get together parties or meet-ups with Buddies Get my hair done (Hair Treatments in a major, major way)Wild Water Rafting c/o The Davao Wildwater AdventurePaintball at RECALL Paintball Davao- Matina TownsquareInvade and Discover new Restos and food shops Try acupressure or if bolder, acupunctureTry SAUNA or Jacuzzi the Davao way!Marco Polo Buffet (Must Dig in!)More Quality Time with La FamiliaLearn new hobbies / skillsPlaytime with RielDo things for a CAUSE / Reconnect with TiESSetting my aims higher, I’d like to do the ff: To visit (for the nth time) my dearest Queen City of the South, Cebu (Seyboooo, Baby!)Discover new places in Cebu and Bohol (Places that I haven’t been to so far)Be more attentive during School discussions and to invest in my STUDY TIMEGet hold of another Forever 21 Items to add to my F21 Fever CollectionGet a pair of SUELAS Ballet Flats by hook or by crook!New Bling-Blings (Chandelier Earrings and more)Go Kart in Cebu with the Apas BabesGo Island Hopping, the Visayas styleWhale/Dolphin watchingSAVE, SAVE and SAVE some more!My 2010 has just gotten more interesting. It was more than what I expected the year to be. With that, here are the latest things that I got to do over the past months. A look back on my January to August 2010 Highlights.New Challenging Work Manila Workshop which meant Strolling in the MetroChelsea in Serendra (Exceptional Food!)SINGAPORE Adventure with Buddies Merlion, SENTOSA, Singapore ZOO, Orchard Road, Clark Quay Strolling, Hot cars and more Singapore Sights - HighsUniversal Studio Singapore and Singapore Airport Incident - LowsKayak Lesson Part 2 c/o Hayahay, IGACOSNinang Mode times two (Kitty Kat and Lot2)Cagayan de Oro (CDO) Trip Mallberry Suites April - Bday Surprise Bash – Cakes and Balloons from Itchy Feet GroupAmoreFlower Lady Mode at Tin and Otep’s WeddingDancing Mode (our surprise gift to the Couple)New Beach Trip – Tagbaobo at IGACOS with ONB Buddies Manila – Baguio Trip (Amazing Race way!) – Sweet EscapeMore Dinner out with La FamiliaPig out nights and Movie DatesTanton for Quick Fixes More Night outs and Escapades with BuddiesLooking forward to the 34th Milo Marathon and Mati Trip over the weekend![...]



hopped on and off

2012-02-19T12:43:56.420+08:00

My groupies and I were suppose to enjoy a total R & R in the country's Last Frontier, Palawan last July 10 to 18. But due to conflicting work schedules, we were forced to cancel this highly anticipated trip of the year.

Seeing that we needed a bit of a shorter Vacation, we decided to avail of promo tickets on a different travel dates instead. So from exotic Palawan, we set our sights in conquering the higlands of the City of Pines.

July 15, we arrived in Manila on the last flight of Ceb Pac and headed off to Victory Liners where we purchased our De Luxe tickets for our 1.15am schedule for Baguio. The bus had reclining seats (which was super comfortable) and after settling in and taking some souvenir snaps, we dozzed off easily. The next thing we knew, we had a quick stop at Tarlac and it was around 5.00 in the morning when I knew we were fast approaching the city of Pines. The view was amazing and there's no denying that excitement crept in! It was such a sight to behold!

What was good about our trip is that we had a designated tour guide and so, it was more convenient. It was a fun-filled yet tiring experience since we only got the whole day to see Baguio in an Amazing-Race kinda way. We took hundreds of Photos and in all different angles to keep track of our Adventures. Seeing and experiencing Baguio in a Day proved to be a challenge to us. It was another accomplishment to add to our List of Travels and Adventures, our so called "Brag List".

At around 6pm, we decided to head back to the Bus Station to catch the 1.15am trip back to Manila. We wasted no time to check out SM Baguio which by the way was on a super SALE mode that weekend. We did enjoy our window-shopping and people-watching activties the Baguio way! We immersed ourselves the Baguio way!

July 17, (Saturday) was spent at Greenhills for some thrift shopping. I am convinced that our haggling skills were truly impressive once the "S" word come into discussion. We've proven that we love to haggle and adore bargains.

MOA posted another challenge since goodies/items were literally on SALE. Talk about freebies! We shopped til' we dropped!We were determined to scout great finds and so none of us came home empty handed.

We went back to the hotel at around 10.30PM. Sadly, no night life for us since it was drizzling in the metro. Boohooo!

July 18- Sunday morning was spent (again) at MOA for our last minute shopping spree. We had to impose a strict observance of our timetable since our flight back to Davao was around 2PM. At 12 noon, it was our resolution that we have to head back to the hotel to get our luggages and proceed to NAIA Terminal 3.

4PM - finally, we are Home, sweet Home!

And so with our Short but Sweet Adventure, we literally hopped on and hopped off from one destination to another!



randomness

2012-02-19T12:44:31.249+08:00

It's around 12.17 am yet here i am, still up. I just want to scribble my thoughts before they leave me.
Find the crack.
Putting meaning into something that is meaningless.
Breach.
A slow day.
Let's go to work.
Alternate Universe.
Three Minutes.
Degradation.
I'm trying here.
Dispatched.
Tell me what you saw - even small things could be important.
Risk Assessment.
Recommendation.
Repeat.
No more than the usual.
Who the hell is jackson?
Coordinates.
We have to make a choice.
and then there was a thud.. a hush.
silence!


NOTE: I'd hope that i can still find a bit of connections/meanings from all of these



Riel at 2 (and still growing!)

2012-02-19T12:46:35.052+08:00

(image)









Such an Emotero at a young age!







(image)










My Adorable Nephew at his BEST!



Somethin' Missing

2012-02-19T12:47:00.905+08:00

Workload has been piling up and there's no denying that it is going to be a helluva busy 2010. It should be an exciting year in terms of work opportunities but i feel that there is something missing and I just can't seem to put words into it. It feels like my work days are becoming more and more weary. unproductiveness. restlessness. boredome. idle moments. dull moments. I need to recharge. I need to reconnect.



singapura shutters

2012-02-19T12:47:23.508+08:00

(image)






Night life






(image) Trying to cool off at Singapore Zoo








SINGAPURA

2012-02-19T12:47:51.062+08:00

(image)












MRT Ride to Clark Quay






ALMOST

2012-02-19T12:48:24.661+08:00

The Singapore trip was more than enough for me. It was something i needed to do so I can finally say, that i've moved on and everything else is in the Past.

As I was saying goodbye to the Past, I had to make the hardest decision of putting an end into something that could have been beautiful. I had to do it now before my strength leaves me completely... I had to finally say it's time to put an end to something that could have made me happy... happier!
You've asked me time and again, "Why?" but the only reason I could give you is that - it's all for the best and that it's a long story. I know how cruel these statements were but its really harder to explain this all to you, right now. At this time, I'm still lost and how I wish I had the courage to acknowledge what was happening to me and to "us" when things where much simplier.

That one phone call I had to make was one of the hardest things I had to do. All the signs I have been waiting for fell before my very eyes and I could have fooled myself that it was merely chances that i stumbled upon these signs. When I called you up, it was something i dreaded the most. I heard my voice tremble and my hands were shaking involuntarily. It was pretty big for me and that it's harder to have "this" when all things are uncertain. My not so fortunate experiences proved to me to that im a certified RISK AVERSE and not to mention, COWARD. I am sorry that it has come this point. I know I haven't given you ENOUGH reasons for my action. And for that, I am sorry. No matter how many times I apologize, I know that all you ever needed to hear was the TRUTH. But what is the Truth? and are you ever ready to hear the Truth from me?

Let me stay this way for awhile. Let me sulk in my misery and when I'm ready, I will tell you the TRUTH. I am so sorry that this had to happen to you - to us.