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Prayers That Keep It Real

Prayers That Keep It Real (PTKIR). - Prayers written in every day language. -A blog for people who have a fuzzy view of God. -Prayers written for celebrities and ordinary people from their perspective to God. -Prayers that allow you to keep it real with

Updated: 2015-09-16T16:01:07.051-04:00




So, I am back and I have a lot to say.

As you know this is a place where we discuss real issues in the entertainment industry and most importantly a place where we pray for people in the industry.

This is also a place for us to dialogue about issues going on in the world and in our personal lives so that we can pray for those issues.

MOST OF's a place where we KEEP IT REAL!

So, I have some questions for you guys:

1. What did you think about Kanye's outburst at the MTV Awards?

2. What did you think about Oprah's Two Part Interview with Whitney Houston?

I can't wait to re-connect with you guys because I miss you a lot. And, I look forward to meeting new friends as well.

I love you guys! Let's get the conversation going.



Hey Friends!

KimPossible is BACK! I know it has been a year since you have heard from me. I had to take a break from blogging for a while and regroup, reorganize my life. We all have a lot going on in our lives at times and sometimes you have to step back and really look at what you are doing. So, let's get this party started.

I miss ALL of you tremendously. You were my inspiration. My blog family for real!

I look forward to hearing from each and everyone of you.


FREE YOUR MIND FRIDAY: Keep Running In and Out Of His Life




Join me and my special guest host, Rich from The Rich House, as we present our second collaboration

I hope you enjoy what we've cooked up.

Wonder twin powers ACTIVATE. 
Form of words. 
Shape of a blog.

(click on the link)

Prayers That Keep It Real for: Children Whose Parents Are On Drugs


Prayers That Keep It Real for: Children Whose Parents Are On Drugs   Real Talk: One day you are bitter. The next day you are angry. And the next day you are confused. No matter what each day brings. Some how you have this bottomless love for your parent. You believe in them even when others have turned their back on them. You manage to always keep hope alive.   I don’t quite remember when you two split and called it quits. But, my heart is reminded of it everyday. Because your absence left a hole, gap, void, in my life. My family blamed you for not paying child support when I was younger and they thought you should go straight to jail without passing go. I didn’t realize then that your absence would affect me for the rest of my life.   I would only see you sporadically through out the year. But when I saw you it seemed as if we had seen each other everyday. I would embrace you with a big smile and arms out ready to hug your neck. Being in your arms made me feel secure. I had so much I wanted to update you on. However, I noticed as I began to talk with you, you were there but something else had control of you.   You would gaze into my eyes and sometimes be repetitive in your words to me. You would sniff all of the time and secretly ask me if I had any money. I would reach in my pocket and give you all of the change I had because I wanted you to be happy. Your eyes were weak with pain. Your soul was vacant and dark.   There were many nights when you were under the influence of drugs and alcohol. You would knock on my window in the middle of the night on a school night. It would be 1 or 2am in the morning. Sometimes you would cry like a baby and all you could say is you were sorry and that you loved me. I always wondered why you had to interrupt my sleep and get rowdy that early in the morning. Mommy would always threaten to call the police if you didn’t vacate the premises and eventually you would.   I turned 16 and I am now a young lady. You opened a checking account for me and I would put my entire check in the bank. Proud to save money in the account my father opened for me. After a few months I wanted to take mommy shopping because I wanted to give her something for once. I stuck my card in the ATM and it said “Insufficient Funds.”   My heart dropped and I became enraged. I woke up and realized that you had taken from your own daughter. You had issues and I was going to let you know. I had worked so hard for that money and you hadn’t given me anything all my life. But, yet you take from me? I couldn’t wrap my mind around how you could justify it.   My mother was terribly angry. It was the first time she had given me permission to tell you exactly what was on mind. Even if that entailed a curse word her and there.  I yelled at you to the top of my lungs and told you that I hated you.   I began to ask you questions like: “Where were you when I graduated from middle school?”, “Where were you when I had my first kiss?”, “Where were you when I was molested?”, “Where were you on ALL of my birthdays?”, “Where were you when I first had sex?” You looked at me with tears dripping down your face. You were intoxicated and all you could say was that you loved me. I told you I no longer wanted you to be apart of my life.   Time has passed. It is my graduation day and I look out in the audience and I see all of my friends and family. But, one person is missing and that’s you. I try to block you out of my mind, but I can’t. It saddened me to know that you had missed 17 wonderful years of my life and you couldn’t stay sober for the most important day of my life.   My conscious started eating me up. I started evaluating our family. It finally hit me. Daddy doesn’t know how to be a father because his dad was never there for him. Is this an excuse? No. But, it surely made sense. I started to open my heart again to you. I would ask myself what I would do if you were to die and [...]

Prayers That Keep It Real for: People Who Have Second Offenses


Prayers That Keep It Real for: People Who Have Second Offenses


REAL TALK: If you sit and think about it, there are people that you don’t like or have issues with because one of your friends has issues with them. The person didn’t do a thing to you but yet you are carrying a second offense. You only heard one side of the story. What’s wrong with that picture?


God I was thinking about this one particular person in my life. They are not what I would consider a close friend of mine, but I do consider them to be a friend. I realized that I have had issues with this person because one of my other friends has an issue with him/her. I felt like if I didn’t treat her/him differently then there would be tension with me and my other friend. All of this is just too stupid and complicated. Lame and immature is what it is.


Okay, let me get this right. I am holding something in my heart against this person that I barely even know because of something my other friend said about him/her? I totally judged them based on someone else’s opinion. I am embarrassed that is so weak. I would not want anyone doing me that way. I could throw up just thinking about it.  So, I can only imagine how she/he feels every time they see me. I know they can feel the tension when they see me and my other friend.


Why am I mad? What is that all about? It’s time to let it go! I can’t take it anymore. What a miserable time this has been for me. All I had to do was be the bigger person, but instead I have been the weaker one. Well, I am not going to sit here and waste any more time on being offended with someone I shouldn’t be offended by. So, I am going to talk to my friend and then I am going to talk to him/her that I have the second offense with and I am getting this right tonight. I have got to be able to get a good night sleep and just let it go.


Thanks for listening God,



Prayers That Keep It Real for: Women Who Have Had Abortions


Prayers That Keep It Real for: Women Who Have Had Abortions   REAL TALK: You went through with it because you didn’t want others to find out. You already have too many children. You didn’t think you would be a good mom. You didn’t want to raise another child alone. You were struggling financially with your other children. It was a surprise to you. Or you just don’t want children right now. No matter what the reason was each of you have to want to have some type of dialogue with your unborn child.   My Dear Child, Hey, it’s mommy! I am sitting here thinking of you. Wondering what your hands would look like Trying to figure out what part of you would have been like me And what part would have been like your daddy   I cry every time I think of you And a lot of times I can’t sleep at night Because I feel like I cheated you out of your life I feel like I gave up on you and did not give you a chance   Sometimes I wonder if what I am experiencingIs because of what I did to youI can remember when I first found out you were growing inside of me I was so scared but I was happy too   Mommy was so confused I didn’t know what I was doing I remember thinking that I didn’t know you could love that deep But before  I allowed myself to become attached to you I cut it off before I could get hurt   I thought I was doing you a favor Because I didn’t want you to grow up like me I thought I was protecting you This world was to cruel for someone as precious as you   Sometimes mommy wishes she was aborted Because I wouldn’t have had to experience The intense hurt and abuse when I was a child The people that said they loved me were not very nice to me   I am trying to get it together I am trying to forgive myself for what I did to them and you But it is hard because I think about it every day So, that is why I wanted to write you this poem   I figured if I asked you to forgive me thenMaybe some of this pressure would go away Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy But some how I continue to still hold on   Please forgive mommy Would you? I need you to forgive me Because I wont be able to face myself if you don’t I love you deeply and I can’t wait to see you But sometimes I wonder if my soul is too dark To make it to heaven with you You have to pray for mommy   I am experiencing a heavy pain Because of how I treated you How could I love someone so much And kill them at the same time?   I am dead inside I need you to release me of my guilt Or I am going to die a slow death inside I am trying to get myself together   I am telling you this because I know you will go and talk to God for me Ask Him if you can be my angel child I NEED YOU!   I know I took your life And I am paying for it every day My mind can’t find peace I store day dreamed thoughts of you daily   I find comfort in thinking of you Because I know no matter what I have done You will always see me as “mommy” And that makes me smile   The thought of you brings me so much joy I wish I could touch you, Hold you and talk with you Kiss you and laugh with you Buy you ice cream and take you to school   I didn’t realize how much of a blessing You would have been to me Come and sleep with me tonight We can have a pajama party   I just need to know that I am forgiven And that you have forgiven me Come and hold meBecause your touch can heal meLove MommyCOPYWRITTEN 2007  [...]

8 Weird Things About KimPossible


8 Weird Things About KimPossibleI was tagged by my blogmate 30+. I love it! So, here you go 30+.  Thanks for the tag. :) One: I take people watching to another level. I absolutely love it. It is some sort of soothing exercise for me. I enjoy watching people and figuring out what their lives are about behind their smiles, the way they are dressed and the way they carry themselves. I will have full-blown conversations with myself in my head if I am alone at the mall, restaurant, gas station, etc. I look at people and say “hmm, she looks depressed, they just got into an argument, their marriage isn’t working, etc. I guess that is why I am pursuing degree(s) in Psychology huh? Two: I hate to hear someone biting his or her fingernails. It annoys me to no end. My husband and my brother both bite their fingernails. And then they spit the fingernail out. That is gross and rude. Is there something else constructive you could be doing besides biting your fingernails? Dang! Stop it! Three: I have a shoe and purse fetish. It is pretty bad. They make the outfit! You have a hot pair of shoes and nice bag and it is ON! If I am walking in the grocery store, the mall, a restaurant, etc. I will stop a man or woman and proceed to tell them the maker of their shoes and purse. It is an addiction in which I am seeking help. Four: This is definitely a weird one, but you asked for it and here you have it. LOL! KimPossible does not like anything that looks weird. I freak out. For example, a friend of mine had a rash and it was very gross looking. She wanted me to look at it and I couldn’t do it!  You know how when you go the doctor’s office they have this palette with bumps on it to show you the difference between measles and chicken pox? Stuff like that really freaks me out for some reason. I know, weird right? Gotta love me. Five: I do not like to use public restrooms for several reasons it freaks me the heck out. The germs and the nasty stalls get under my skin. I have a very weak stomach. I will hold my urine until Jesus comes back. I know that is not good right? But, if I smell someone else’s poop or see it as I search which stall is best for me to sit,  I will DEF throw up. No lie, no exaggeration that is what I do. So, I avoid public restrooms at all cost. Six: I have to go to sleep to noise. I go to sleep with the TV on low because for some reason it helps me to get off to sleep. I look at it like a book. Someone telling me a story and I tend to fall asleep. You wanted weird things, so here you have it. LOL! I have to wind down before I go to bed. I am one of those people who can’t just fall to sleep until I have downloaded from my day. I have tried to just sit there and process through my day but it never works. So, TV at night before I go to bed has become my pacifier. Lawd help me! LOL! Seven: I love to walk around Target. I used to like to walk around Wal-Mart when I worked the night shift at HP because nothing else was open at my 12:00am lunch hour. Now, I have moved to Target. I love to walk through target. I literally go from department to department. I observe what’s on each aisle. It is so bad that one time my best friend and I walked into target and it was light outside. We went in the book section and started reading that Video Vixen book. We sat on the floor and read the entire book in the store?Needless to say it was dark when we left. What in the world? We obviously had nothing else to do that day. I think it is therapeutic for me. It is the one time I am not in a rush and I can enjoy the moment. Eight: I love dating myself. I am married and my hubby takes me on dates all of the time. But, I like to date myself because I think this is very important in my life. It is my time to reconnect with me. I get dressed up like I am going out on a date. I go to any place of my choice i.e. movie, mall, concerts, gym, etc. I take pen and paper. Onc[...]

Free Your Mind Friday With Rich from The Rich House Blog and KimPossible


WARNING: This is a long post, however, we think it will make for some good conversation. So, hang in there with us. Rich from The RichHouse blog and myself KimPossible present to you, “Free Your Mind Friday!” A lot of times, I think of things in terms of music, so doing this post made me think of two songs right off the bat.  Those songs are “Wait for Love” (Luther Vandross) and “Let’s Wait a While” (Janet Jackson).  Those songs lay the framework for the way it should be when dealing with the topic:      Is a man/woman willing to wait for a Christian man or woman who is still a virgin/or practicing celibacy?  The simple answer should be yes, if their mind is right.  Meaning, if that person shares a similar belief system they will be more inclined to wait and honor your position.  The other element that needs to exist is a positive esteem.  Otherwise, drama is likely to ensue.  I have lived on both sides of the equation.  I have been involved with a virgin who wanted to wait when I didn’t, and I have been the Christian man trying to remain celibate when the female didn’t share the same sentiment.  There were lessons to learn in both instances.  Mainly lessons about me as a person at those particular times in my life with regard to my convictions and views on sex.     Let’s break this down a bit and see if we can see things from a different vantage point.  In the formative stages of a relationship all types of things are happening – neurons are sparking feelings of grandeur, hormones are raging – waiting to be quelled with a touch, and imaginations are flying to and fro about the possibilities of where love will lead.  All of this happens, whether sex is enacted or not.  It’s a natural part of the mating process.  We have been created to respond to the opposite sex in kind, so it shouldn’t be a surprise when these feelings occur, although it doesn’t happen with everyone we meet.  The fact that these emotions do take place also shouldn’t necessitate the need to act upon them.  Yet, when placed in an environment where all seems right, we get offended, if even for a moment, when we are asked to forego relations because one of the parties would like to wait.  Sometimes we even take it personally, but this is what we should remember.  The desire to abstain -- listen to me carefully -- is not and should not be construed as a rejection of the other party.  “Don’t you love me?” or “I thought we had something here,” are common responses that follow when one of the parties feel like they have been shorted.  This is where positive self-esteem comes into play.  The person who is free of insecurities won’t take their perspective mates need for taking a higher road as meaning something is wrong with them.  We have to ask ourselves, are we mature enough and in control of our bodies enough to wait?  Many single people talk of their desire to have a mate, when the truth is they really want sex.  Ask yourself.  If given the opportunity to date someone who is a virgin or celibate that is adamant about waiting until marriage, would you be willing to wait?  Does sex overweigh your desire for a quality mate?  There are so many directions this conversation can be taken, but I think the fact that a person – Christian or not – wanting to wait is a beautiful thing.  That is the person who realizes that intimacy is a by-product of love and not the road that leads to love.  What do you think?   
 Are you guilty of judging others that wanted to keep themselves? Are you sensitive to that topic with your friends? Do you look at people who wait as different or special? Are you the one who has waited? Maybe you can identify with the story below.  Rich and KimPossible wanted to let you in on the life of someone who has waited. Let’s free our minds together. This story[...]

Prayers That Keep It Real for: People Holding Bitterness


Prayers That Keep It Real for: People Holding Bitterness


Real Talk: Are you mad at someone for something they said or did to you six months ago, a year ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago. If so, you need to get over it. Not to say that what you are mad at wasn’t hurtful or isn’t legitimate. But, do you know how much of life you have missed out on? Do you understand that the very thing you have been praying to God about has not come because you haven’t forgiven the other person? Have you blocked out your bitterness and convinced yourself you are not bitter that it’s the other person with the issue? Check this out. Hopefully, this will open your eyes and be the beginning of a healing process for you.


Bitterness immersed my soul and took over. Before I knew it, I was eating from a bitter cup. I was lingering in my own world of hate. Despising the people who have hurt me deeply. They should be punished for what they said and did to me. I have a right to hoard these feelings inside of me. After all I am the victim here.


I tend to like drama in my life anyway. I like to pick people off one by one. If you do something I don’t like you will immediately go on my black list. I will scratch you out of my life forever. It will be as if you never existed. You won’t ever have a second chance with me because I don’t have time for your petty games. I am above you. So, I will continually convince myself that you are the one who should live in misery.


So what if I isolate myself from you and others. Yes, I love to be alone because it is my protection and defense from you. I am focused and I don’t need you in my life trying to tell me the truth disrupting me. I don’t want to deal with my issues because it’s easier for me to make my case to others about your issues. I have brought you up in so many conversations because I wanted to make sure other’s heard my side of the story first.


You have wounded me and only God can open my heart to you. God may give me second chances but I’m not trying to give you one.


Prayers That Keep It Real: Prayer


Prayers That Keep It Real for: Prayer

Kimberly's Comments: I love prayer. It entangles me in God. It is a place where I am safe and can be my safe. It is a position that I love before God. It humbles me. It breaks me. It exposes me. It shows me who I am. It breaks me. It quiets me.  It is my refuge. My safety. My comfort. Today, I hope that you will be able to start talking to Daddy, Savior, Redeemer, Provider, King, Lord because He wants to be close to you. 


Real Talk: Serenity. Belief. Daily. At all times. Friend. Comfort. Secrets. Sanity. Laugh. Smile. Happy. Discipline. Listen. Quiet. Still. Meditation. Song. Worship. Correction. Obedience. Safe.



Prayer is my outlet. My way of escape, I run into God at this place of refuge. He talks to me and gives me pointers for life. He embraces my flaws and gets me in line when I drift away on my own. He assures me that I am safe with Him.


I am in love with Him. I trust Him with my life. He listens to me and I listen to Him. He gives me food for thought so that I can grow. Sometimes, I obey and sometimes I don’t. That’s when he spanks me. Being the gentlemen that He is, he allows me to become lost. And he rears me back in and I see that I am nothing without Him.


I appreciate His company. He is my best friend. He puts the mirror in my face so that I can always have a sane estimate of where I am in life. But, He also comforts me and assures me that the puzzle pieces to my life are going to all come together. He is truly the man!


Meditation is my honor to Him. I chat with Him. I ask for favors for my friends and family. I flirt with Him through songs and worship. I get lost in Him. I give Him permission to crowd my personal space. I misplace my snobby ways and I surrender all of me to Him.  I began to see different sides of Him that I didn’t know I exist. He infatuates me. 


My eyes strain to see what He is going to do next. I am attached to Him. He is my map. He stretches me beyond what I thought I could ever go. He challenges me. He keeps me. He wraps Himself around me. I hunger for Him and he feeds me. He brings me to my knees. 

COPYWRITTEN 2007 (Please do not copy material unless authorized by author)

Prayers That Keep It Real for My Fellow Bloggers


Good Morning My Fellow Bloggers,This morning, I just wanted to freestyle. I am just going to write what comes to my mind for each of you. Today is Monday and I know how Monday's can be. You dread getting up, you are tired of going to the same job or you can actually like your job. But a majority of people are fed up at their jobs because you really aren't where God wants you to be. I am not working and I have come to conclusion that Corporate America is not for me. So, I am waiting on God to continue to unfold all He has for me. In the waiting process, I will continue to holla at Him through prayer for direction and insight. So, here is my prayer for you today my fellow bloggers.Daddy,As each of my blog friends get up this morning protect them. Help them to acknowledge you before their day begins. Help them to see that you are the BIG picture for their life and everything else is a fill in the blanks to complete the picture. For those that have kids. Give them patience with their children this morning. Protect their children as they are off to school or daycare. Help them as they are on their way to work not to have road rage because people will try you in the AM when you are sleepy etc. Especially, in the "A" where I am from. So, give them perfect peace as they are riding in your car. Let them turn the radio off and listen to you speak to them.  Give them encouraging words that will follow them throughout their day.Help my blog friends who are married. Teach them how to work through all of the problems. Show them themselves and help them not to blame their mate for things they need to work on and adjust in their own lives.  Teach them how to be self-less. If any of my blog friends are in danger in their marriages and are being abused. Give them a way out today. Keep them safe and give them a safe plan of escape. Keep them in their right mind. Embrace them today.For my blog friends who absolutely hate their job and are frustrated because they know there is more to life. Be their compass today. Get them on the right track. Agitate them until they are in the center of your will for their lives. Some may know what it is they want to do in life. Other's may not have a clue. Take them back to their passion. Back to the things they have always said they wanted to do as children. Open their eyes to see the gifts and talents you have given them. Things they do so naturally every day but can't see that those very things are what they should be doing. Cause them not to settle for Corporate America, not to put their lives in a box. If they are supposed to start their own businesses give them the means to do so. Give them a plan to exit Corporate America and do them. If they are supposed to go back to school. Give them free money to do that. God, I can't forget my fellow bloggers who love their jobs. Continue to allow them to excel. Keep them focused and let them be all they can be at work. Help them to treat others as they want to be treated. Give them favor with their bosses. Help them to complete projects. Protect them as they travel. Give them understanding of the new responsibilities given to them. Let them be successful in every aspect of their job.Lastly, daddy, be with all of my fellow bloggers during this holiday season. Be with the ones who can't afford to buy their children and family gifts. Be the ones who can afford to shop and help them to find good deals. Help us all to recognize those less fortunate than us during this time. Show us who to give to this holiday season. Whether it's a friend in need that we see everyday, someone in the mall, someone at our jobs, someone walking on the street. Help us to give out more this season. And when we give you give back to us. Let us know that you daddy, savior, friend, redeemer, provider, healer, lover, a[...]

Prayers That Keep It Real for Diddy


Writing Scenario: I wrote this for Diddy back in 1993. I had a friend who said Fonzworth Bentley was her cousin. I printed an entire Prayers That Keep It Real book for Diddy and wrapped it because it was his birthday. She was supposed to see Fonzworth Bentley and he was supposed to give the book of prayers to Diddy. Needless to say, I am not sure if he did or not. So, once again, this is one of the prayer's in the book I wrote for him and maybe one day I'll get to give it to him.P.E.A.C.E.God, I just want to have a fireside chat with you. Man, sometimes my mind is so cluttered and noisy that I can't even think straight. Everyday it is always something. I have to be everything to everybody  and sometimes that gets lonely. Things and people are always there to test you.Because of the business you have me in I get hurt by so many people. And because I am who I am, I have to keep stepping and act like everything is cool. But deep down in  my heart that stuff hurts because I'm still human. I cry like everybody else and hurt like everybody else. I know that I look like I have everything under control in my life, but I got issues too.I guess what I am getting at is that I need you to teach me how to go through things and not be crippled by them. Keep my emotions in line cause you know a brotha can go off at times. Sometimes I want to be the victim for a little while to show people that they really hurt me. But you know I am too cool to stay at that place too long. So, I dust myself off and get back up again.All, I am saying is this, I face so many challenges every day. I face the challenge of not wanting to get up some mornings because I just don't feel like it! I have the thoughts of what would life be like if my Father, Biggie and Mase were still in my life? Because it's a lonely world out there and when you lose the three people that you cared about the most, it makes it even lonelier sometimes. So, help a brotha find PEACe in the midst of discouragement. Help me to change my attitude in the midst of pain and disappointments. Help me not to be too prideful to cry and just talk it out when I need to. Put people in my life that I can trust to share my heart with in those moments. I know that I throw the cards in my life but you determine how they fall. One thing I know for sure is that you are always consistent in my life. You have a track record with me. I have seen you bless me even when I don't deserve it! Help me to always have PEACE even when I can't see my way out!I just hope that one day you can use the pressures of my life to help somebody else. COPYWRITTEN 2003Here is another poem that I wrote from Diddy's perspective to God. I am giving you two that I wrote for him because he was actually the first celebrity that I ever wrote PTKIR for. Check this one out.IF I SHOULD DIE TONIGHTFather,If I should die tonightI want to know that my work is doneI don't want to be caught off guardAnd then it's too lateIf I should die tonightI don't want to be partying and having a good timeThinking that my good deeds are going to get me brownie points with youAnd then I get playedIf I should die tonightI want to know that I didn't go to sleep madAssuming I was gone wake up and move onAnd then I fall asleep and never get upIf I should die tonightI want to know that I will have an eternal home with youBEcause I have been living right with youAnd it has nothing to do with the fact that I say "I love you," but everything to do with the fact that I know youIf I should die tonightI want to know that my sons will carry on what I startedBecause I was a good role model to themAnd they will be men of substance and integrityIf I should die tonightI want to be known for being a man who took risksA man who took life seriouslyAnd yet always put a smi[...]

Prayers That Keep It Real: For Brittany Spears


Writing Scenario: I wrote this prayer for Brittany as she was in the thick of the media. When she first lost custody of her children. A lot of times the celebrity can become obsessed with the attention from the Paparazzi's and in return it appears as if the Paparazzi's become obsessed with the MONEY that celebrity picture can get them. It's all greed for them. But, in return the celebrity ends up suffering the most because it breaks them down.  Even though I wrote this poem for Brittany maybe you know someone that this poem can touch. Maybe you have felt like you wanted to call it quits and give up on life. Maybe you have gotten caught up in being popular but you are really empty or unsure of yourself on the inside. If you know someone like this or this is you. I hope you dig this prayer. From Brittany’s Eyes Death has clutched me. I can’t see where I am going. I have made a connection with the devil. He is feeding me thoughts of suicide. My life is bankrupt. I am a burden to myself. I don’t even like me. I constantly day dream of dying and I have become one with those thoughts. I have accepted that I am trash and I have messed my life over.   My heart is moaning with pain. The pain gets so loud that it brings out my maniac. It makes me lose myself. It burdens me and my eyes become limp with tears. My mind is constantly in agony. My soul is cluttered and in distress. I am in a dark place. I have given demons permission to torture me. I am warped for good. I took it too far. I didn’t know how to stop it. And now I sit in a lonely place in my psyche. I wrestle with the devil everyday. So, far he is winning.   I am in my own cult. I have shut my family and friends out because truth has made me drowsy. I want to do it my way, damn it! Drinking, drugs, sex, it all gives me a temporary satisfaction. It gives me the illusion of happiness. But, when I wake up from it all, I still have a bond with the devil and he has turned me out. No one understands me. So, I isolate myself hoping for one glimpse of light. Hoping to find the core of my handicap. I want the few people around me to get me out of this hole. But they are lost in my world. They need someone to pull them out.   The media has been my adversary. It has made me an ass in front of the entire world. It laughs at me and it wants the next best story. If they don’t back off of me, I am going to do it. I am going to end this once and for all. That will be a great story for them to write and a nice six-figure check in their pockets. I am the next Anna Nicole. She slipped away and I am kissing the same demons she did. I can smell her, she is near, some one catch me!   If there is a God, I summons you. I am a basket case. My life has crashed right before my eyes and I am too weak and sick to pick up the pieces. You have brought me to rock bottom. You can’t possibly care about me. The world is scrutinizing me and I am under their microscope. I can’t defend myself because I am lost. If you are all of that then answer my mothers prayers that she has prayed for me. Pray for me because I am not pure. I am bruised. My heart is bleeding and the pain is stern. Am I going to ever come to or am I going to expire myself?  Do something because I can’t!COPYWRITTEN 2007 [...]

Prayers That Keep It Real for Keyshia Cole


Writing Scenario: I wrote this for Keyshia Cole. I watch her reality show Keyshia Cole: "The Way It Is" faithfully each week. Her show inspired me to write this prayer for her amongst others.  This prayer may have a word or two I wouldn't normally use but it's definitely how I think Keyshia would holla at God.Cheater: 80/20 Rule   Trust is huge for me. It takes me a long time to open up to anyone. But, once I give you my heart, it’s a wrap. I am loyal until the end.  I gave this dude my heart. At one point he was my every thing. I lost myself in him. I gave him all of me plus some. I thought he was the one. I knew we would be together forever or at least what seemed like forever.   He seemed good for me at first. We had fun together but deep down inside I knew there was something missing. I was trying to fill voids from both my mom and dad not being there, so, I ignored my inner voice. I just wanted to be loved and I let what looked like love, hold me hostage. I was having incest with false promises from a man who always took me for granted.   He didn’t want me. I was too simple for him. He liked to complicate things and so he went for the 80/20 rule. I pleased him 80% of the time and he had to cheat to go get that other 20%.  Now, I know he wish he had that 80 back. I stayed with his ass like a dummy. He was on that other shit. It’s all good, because he helped me turn a corner in life.   I don’t have time for that lame mess. If you gone cheat be smart about it. Don’t tell your boy and then expect it not to get back at me. Your weak ass thought you were doing something. You thought you could have your cake and eat it to. Naw boo, I ain’t the one. You actually helped me get stronger and get my power back. I got that check in the mail and got up out of there and ain’t looked back since.   So, I want to shout you out for being lame. I want to shout you out for thinking getting cocky and bragging about how you cheated on me. I want to shout you out for telling your boy that you cheated because it got right back to me. I want to shout you out for cheating because it was my ticket out of a messed up relationship. I want to shout you out  for showing me that you were to weak and really couldn’t take me no where in life.  I want to shout you out for trying to have your cake and eat it to. That check came in the mail and I gave you the deuces and ain’t looked back since.   Cheater, thanks for giving me my power back. Love Keyshia   COPYWRITTEN 2007  [...]

Prayers That Keep It Real for Kanye West


Writing Scenario: I wrote this poem for Kanye after I heard that his mom passed. Donda rest in peace and I pray that God would continue to help Kanye through ALL of his pain. I love you Kanye and am praying for you today.Losing someone you love is a hard pill to swallow. It is the deepest pain you could ever imagine. You know in the back of your mind that one day you and your mother will have to die. But, I am not sure anything ever really prepares you for that moment. Sometimes, it’s good to just write and sit with your thoughts. Maybe your words and memories of her will pacify you.       The Mama Prayer   My heart is drenched with agony. I am frantically grieving. My soul is overwhelmed and I can’t breath. My mind is in pursuit of peace. My spirit is crushed. My best friend, my mother escaped from me today. I can’t grasp the reality of her death.   I got the call and the news crippled me. My mind went crazy, haywire, insane, irrational, psycho.  The bitter cup was hard to swallow. I wallowed in my misery and my mother’s memories tortured me. I have survived a lot of things in life but this burden, weight, load, is too much for me.   I release myself to death. I want to expire. I want to terminate myself. Then I would be the cause of more heartache for my family. I can’t suppress this cloud that is over me. It has invaded my privacy and taken over. My comprehension of my mother’s death is scattered. I am trying to pick up the pieces but it still doesn’t quite make sense.   I just spoke with her the other day. I try to capture her words, her laugh, and hugs in my mind because I don’t ever want to misplace them. I am bothered, perturbed, troubled by hear death. I have arrested my thoughts and committed them to an institution. I need to sit on someone’s couch and talk about this.   I am in constant conflict with my thoughts. The woman who brought me to this earth is now gone. I am alone, by myself, on my own. I predict that this excruciating mourning is never going to go away. It will haunt me every day of my life.   God, man, you have to help me. I’m losing my balance. Comfort, soothe, calm, and relieve me. Hug me. Kiss me. Hold me. Touch me. Strengthen me. Make me secure again. I feel vulnerable, susceptible, and weak. I am inclined to lose my mind. Bring me back to a place of safety. COPYWRITTEN 2007 [...]

Prayers That Keep It Real for Lil Kim


Writing Scenario: I wrote this poem for Lil Kim when she was in jail. I look forward to the day I can share this with her.Okay, blog family. Here we go. This week I wanted to share the prayers that I have written for different celebrities. These prayers are all from that celebrities perspective to God. Some of the poems may have curse words, words I wouldn't normally use. However, these are prayers I think that they would pray to God. So, even though I wrote this prayer with Lil Kim in mind. I hope that this prayer helps you, your friends, and your family. Whatever the case maybe, I know that we all have needed a breakthrough at some point in our lives.  I can't wait to hear your feedback. Happy Monday!!!BreakthroughI am on the stacked bus taking a tour of the life of Kimberly Jones. Perusing the streets of my heart making sure there is no debris (rubbish). As we stopped at the street called bitterness I realized I needed to take a dump. I let the plunger of truth unclog my beaten heart and I had to come to grips with me. In that moment I learned that loving me was my biggest issue.Today is the anniversary of the death of my past. I would no longer be held hostage by the things from my former life. I have decided to end my union with lust. I have served him its papers because abuse and being treated without respect is played out. I can’t wait to get to court to stare him down and let him know the secs engineer has closed shop and my eyes have been exposed to the authentic.I am on cruise control truly enjoying my existence. I have been jolted and now I believe in me. I have finally surfaced and it is the first time I didn’t look away. I am stripped of fake facades and I am courting myself again. I am not captive to others opinions of me. I am comfortable in my skin. I went through a rebirth, a process, a metamorphosis. A new foundation has been laid and broke new ground.My spirit is in motion again. My soul is aroused! My mind is repaired. My daddy (Protector, God, Savior) has done surgery on me in secret. He kept me on life support until I could breathe on my own. He is the reason I didn’t lose it. He enticed me to come to Him and his love was king size.  He smothered me. Cuddled me! Reminded me of who I was and His words stimulated me and allowed me to grow intangibly.I have turned a corner. I had a defining moment. Reached the turning point and I am experiencing change. I have been promoted to another level. Something has advanced an epiphany has occurred. I am back in the game. Layers have disappeared and I have upgraded to an improved me. I am at maximum. I am sitting at the pinnacle of my breakthrough. COPYWRITTEN 2007[...]

This Week Is Celebrity Week


I was sitting here. Thinking, praying, wondering what I want this week's blogs to be about. I think I am going to share poems that I specifically wrote for different celebrities. I will feature a different celebrity everyday. The prayers I am going to share with you this week are prayers from their perspective to God. Some may have some language that I would not use, however, it is language that the celebrity would use as they are talking to God.

When we talk to God, we are all on different levels. I used to be so afraid to pray and please don't ask me to pray out loud. That was not happening. Now, that I have grown in my relationship with God, I have become more comfortable in my friendship with Him.

So, my hope is that these prayers would give you a different view of come of these celebrities. Although I wrote these prayers for them, maybe some of these prayers would speak to you too. Or if you know any other bloggers out there that may be facing some of the challenges these prayers articulate invite them to come and read. You may have family members that can relate to these prayers. I will go out on a limb and say maybe some of you know these celebrities and can share these prayers with them.

Whatever the case may be. I want the post this week to hit home for people.

I am signing off now. As always blog family. Thank you for always dropping by my page. I look forward to blogging this week.

I hope all of you are well and I wish you a happy, safe, and introspective week.

Much Love,

Prayers That Keep It Real for: People Who Have Been Burned By Church – Part 2


Prayers That Keep It Real for: People Who Have Been Burned By Church – Part 2Real Talk: God never waste a hurt. Things don’t just happen without God allowing them to happen. We throw the dice but God always determines how they land. Don’t be afraid to push STOP in your life and reposition yourself for change. Change is uncomfortable, change involves risk, but change is ALWAYS good.God began to cause a tug-of-war on the inside of me. He began challenging, demanding and tough on me. He was furious, irate, beside Himself that I had made man an idol and He was not having it. He told me that what He had for me was so much bigger than the four walls of a church. He also told me to get ready for harassment, maltreatment, and misunderstanding because it was about to hit me hard. He told me to embrace it because it was all a part of his plan for me. I began to tuck, press into, get away more with God and confide in Him. I began to be very vulnerable with Him. I told him that my soul ached to see the people I love become so hurtful. The people I thought I’d be with forever act as if I didn’t exist. Act as if I didn’t serve them and have any part in what makes them who they are today. I told God I was bitterly angry because He allowed me to waste all of this time. God, my life could be very different. I could have accomplished so much more.Be quiet, calm down, hush, shut it up He said. I allowed you to go through this because now I have your undivided attention. You were too loyal and I knew I had to let bizarre things happen in the community “church” to get you to notice me. Work through your pain and get rid of the bitterness because it will only make things worse down the line. Forgive them and move on. God’s words captivated, pierced through me. My eyes opened and I realized I was worshiping the leader, the hero, the pastor more than God. I was looking to the leader, the hero, the pastor for direction more than God. I had an inordinate attachment that God was about to break. I was not living up to my full potential because I allowed the community “church” to box me in. I noticed that I had shut-out my family, friends, and people who didn’t necessarily believe in the community “church.” I isolated the very people that loved me. I was in a bubble inside of my community “church.” It had me hostage and I wasn’t letting anyone in my space other than my community “the church.”So, I broke up with the church and renewed my vows with God. My heart ached when it came down to me leaving. It’s almost as if I had an accumulation on my eyes that had been removed. Now, I am free from what the community “church” thinks of me. A lot of rumbling took place when I left. People’s perspective of me changed and I was now being called an outsider and nothing good would probably ever come out of my life according to the community “the church.”Now, my relationship with God is stronger than ever. I realize that God has me on a different path. A path that is not at the community “church” all of the time. God bless the people who are supposed to be there, I am not knocking you at all. I have locked into where God is taking me and I am comfortable with it. I stay involved with the community “church” through connecting with my friends who live for God. I am now lingering with people who don’t mess with the community “church” on any level. They embrace the God in me and I don’t judge them. God is so much bigger than the four walls of the community “church” and He has groomed, prepared, equipped me to be a light in the world.COPYWRITT[...]

Colbie Caillat


A friend of mine KC introduced me briefly to Colbie Caillat while riding with her on Monday. I immediately connected with the song and I have to give Colbie some shine on my blogspot! She is an incredible artist.

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Prayers That Keep It Real for: People Who Have Been Burned By Church – Part 1


Prayers That Keep It Real for: People Who Have Been Burned By Church – Part 1Real Talk: The truth of the matter is that a lot of people in society have been hurt by church. As a result, it has caused a gap between society and church. A lot of disappointments and frustrations we experienced in church have caused all of us to question whether or not God is really real. Which in reality is a good thing because it causes you to dig deep and discover who you really are, what we were put on this earth to do, and it causes us to discover God for ourselves.I was young, naive, green, and impressionable. I wanted to attach myself to something meaningful. I wanted my life to have purpose. I didn’t want to just exist. I found a community of people called “church.” We all loved one another and we embraced our good and bad. We hung out together all of the time. We even lived with each other, we were that close. We were without a doubt family.We have grown up a little more and now we have families. Our community “Church” is growing. We are all working hard to build the ministry. Our leader, hero, pastor was directing us every step of the way. Insuring we were on task with the vision. We were at the community “church” 24/7. We had to meet and serve to ensure the dream kept moving. We were building a brand that would be one up on other church markets. It was important that we put our time in.We were close, undividable, inseparable and then a rift, crack, gap, hole, begun to secretly make its way in the community “church.” New people joined the community “church”. It was great because it allowed for our community to broaden and grow. After all, it gave us a chance to get to know more people outside of ourselves. The growth, increase, enlargement began to make minor and major adjustments in relationships and the community “church” dynamic. Soon we became communities within the main community. Taking a stab at each other behind the curtains and fighting over miniature, microscopic, minute, tiny things. But when the curtains came up and it was time for the show, the service we learned how to fake it, put up facades and shift gears to get us through. We were becoming paranoid, fearful, suspicious of one another.The leader, hero, pastor began to change. The pulpit became the leader, hero, pastor’s outlet for taking jabs at people in the community “church” and the atmosphere changed. Instead of a sanctuary it became a place of war, conflict, confrontation. A place where you were invited in the boxing ring at any time so that punches could be thrown. You were also welcomed to throw punches too. But in the end, the leader, hero, the pastor always had the last word.I noticed a behind the scenes abusive relationship beginning to flare. It became a controlling environment in our community. I had to be accountable to the leader, hero, pastor for: Who I could date, where I wanted to live, what dreams I wanted to pursue. Pretty soon the leader, hero, pastor, informed us all that all of our dreams should be filtered through the community “church.” And that we should all be on board with it because it was God and it came from the leader, the hero, the pastor. I begin to notice that if I didn’t make myself accountable in my personal life to leadership I was no longer in the “inner circle.” I was officially on the invisible “hit list.” It had become very obvious if I wasn’t doing what they wanted me to do. I was now the black sheep of the community “church.”Copywritten 2007[...]



OMG! I am so hooked on Keyshia Cole's reality show "The Way It Is." Last week's episode was about her mother Frankie going to the Mary Hall Freedom house in Georgia. She went to share with the women about her struggles with drugs and how it affected her and her children. Hearing her talk reminded me of how I grew up in a single parent home without my dad. He was on drugs and alcohol all my life. He was clean for the past three years and just relapsed. I watched my mother struggle to be "SUPER WOMAN" as most single mom's do to make ends meet. She had two and three jobs to give me and my brother the finer things in life. Growing up without my dad in my home has affected me, however, not something that I use as an excuse to be a victim. What are your thoughts? Are you a single mother who is raising your children on your own because their mother or father isn't handling their responsibilities? Do you have family members like my dad and Keyshia's mom?For all of the single mother's out there. Here's a Prayer That Keeps It Real (PTKIR) for you to take with you today. Check this out.Prayers That Keep It Real for: For Single Mother’sReal Talk: My goal is not to bash men but some of you are a pain. You don’t take care of your responsibilities and you expect your children to understand. You pay child support, but that was only after I had to take you to court three times. You can’t just settle for paying child support. What about spending time with your children? You are truly missing out.God you have got to be kidding me. You know me, I am not cut out to raise these kids by myself, so why on earth did you allow this to happen? I can’t do it. I am not strong enough, I don’t make enough money and these kids are going to drive me crazy. They need too much. It’s only one of me. I am so drained at the end of the day. I give out to them and I never get anything in return.They are too young for me to voice how I feel because they wouldn’t even understand. Why did this happen to me? I did everything right. It was their dad that was that left his family. So, why am I being punished again? I had to go and get another job just to make ends meet. Now, I can’t even attend my children’s extra-curricular activities or parent teacher conferences because I am at work. I can tell that my kids have low self-esteem because their father isn’t there. But, you didn’t create me to be the mother and the father. However, I will be the best mother I can.God, I am so exhausted from crying every night to you. My girlfriends still have their husbands and I get jealous of them because they are no better than me. Why didn’t I marry a man who had some sense? Was I stuck on stupid or what? Why does it seem like my life is such a fluke.Okay, let me get myself together. Man up girl, man up! God, all I can do is take one day at a time, right? I give all of this worry and stress back to you. It’s too heavy for me to carry. I need you to take care of my kids and me. Help me to hold and not give up. Help me not to hold any grudges against my ex-husband because I do want to get married again at some point. I don’t want to carry any garbage in my next relationship. Keep me in check God. You are my man right now. Date me, talk to me, pray for me, all of that. I want my children to have 100% of their mommy. I don’t want to cheat them in anyway. I love them so much. I don’t know how to be a mommy, after all, you didn’t provide a manual for that you know? ☺ But, I know you are with me, even when it feel[...]