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Waste The Waist

Updated: 2018-04-02T14:43:50.506-05:00


Gall Bladders and Birthday Wishes


Last week we celebrated the second birthday of my first son. He's amazing. Everything I'd want in a special little fella, and a bit more.

In reflecting on him and his time with us, I thought about his birth. It was funny... the night before I'd had horrendous pain in my gut. I'd vomit. I'd crap. I'd sweat. I'd have the chills... Just terrible. I remember standing in the shower, wishing this non-location-specific pain would subside. That I could get comfortable. But it didn't. It just stayed with me, like a bad penny. Finally I passed out, only to be woken by a phone call from my wife. Her amniotic fluid was critically-low, and the doctors would not let her leave. They were going to perform a c-section that day. My boy was on his way!

Fast forward a couple years, and I still find I'm having that pain every so often. One night in late May or early June it hits me. It was a Friday night. We were planning on dinner with the in-laws, and perhaps some games after. Of course, my wife was 9+ months pregnant with our second son, so this was NOT the time for me to get ill.

After a couple hours of agony on the couch/bed, I give up. I go to the emergency ward to get looked at. Long story short, I have gall stones, and the surgeons agree that I should have my gall bladder removed.


This is a problem for old people and fat people, not a young guy like me! I couldn't believe it. Sometimes I still can't, but for the three perforations along the top of the rib line and the large purple scar over my belly button. I have one fewer gall bladders than I came into this world with, bringing the grand total to none.

My obesity is starting to take a real toll on my body.

Merry we go 'round.


This morning I rose from bed at 6:00am. The alarm had gone off at 5:45, but I snoozed my way to six in Samsung-approved five minute increments. My wife had already gone downstairs thirty minutes prior, feeding the baby so he wouldn't starve at daycare, and the toddler moaned his displeasure at the early morning through the baby monitor located 30 inches from my face.

Oh goody.

I'm in bad shape. Phsyically. Emotionally. Mentally.

I look at this blog and see my last post was 11 months ago. My weight then matches my weight now. Another year, wasted.

Today I went to the gym for the first time in forever. My wife insisted. I complied. I'm glad she did. It sucked, and I never want to get up this early again, and yet I am secretly looking forward to going again on Friday.

I just did the eliptical on a low setting for 20 minutes. But I got up, I made it to the gym, and I moved my body for the first time in a year. Rust is getting shook.


Missed the Gym


Today I overslept. I stayed up too late and didn't get to the gym. I felt especially bad as when I stepped onto the scale I had another weight decrease and now I'm anxious that tomorrow's weigh-in will see an up-tick. Ugh.

I've been pretty dilligent in tracking my calories on It's a pretty sweet resource, and the database of foods available is pretty rad. The hardest part of tracking is when I don't have a great day; my compulsion is to not enter and avoid tracking, but really that's when I need to do it the most. It's such a weird sense of denial.

Anyway, I'm still focused. :)


Sodium is a Problem


This morning I stepped on the scale and was hit with a rude awakening. I was up 1.5 pounds.

I track my workout, calories and other nutritional facts through, and according to that I was only off my calories by ~300. That number means I was still under 2000 for the day. I've also worked out every day this week. So, why was my scale number so far off?


I was over in my daily sodium by almost double.

I'd had a Subway sandwich for lunch, and wowza -- turns out that sandwich alone is too much sodium for me!

I'm going to hit the gym tonight. I'm hoping that I'm able to sweat out some of this water that I'm holding onto so that tomorrow brings a better result.

Watch the levels of sodium in your diet!


Week 2 and things are still happening


Okay, so I had a bit of a layoff on Friday (my day off training) and Saturday (I was out of town). I still saw a bit of a drop on the scale after those two days, so that's good. And it's Wednesday now and I've been losing weight every day this week, so that's good too.

My goal is to be under 300 pounds by Christmas of 2013.

I've found that goals need to be five things:
Specific (under 300 pounds)
Measurable (I can get on the scale and weigh myself)
Yours (this is my goal, not my wife's goal for me)
Time-sensitive (December 25th, 2013)
Written Down (this blog post)

I now have something to aim for. I'm intentional. I'm motivated. I'm dedicated. I will make my goal, and I'll do it NOW.


Early Wins


I have a fairly long commute to and from work each day. Twenty minutes into the drive I pass a McDonalds. Last winter I started treating myself to a breakfast sandwich/hashbrowns/soda once a week on the drive. It was a nice way to warm up on a cold Minnesota morning, and put a smile on my face.

Soon once a week became twice became daily. And my order changed too; no longer was one sandwich enough, now I was ordering two sandwiches. All-told, I was consuming somewhere around 1000 calories before I even started my workday!

Bad as that is, there's something worse. See, a hefty McDonalds trip in the morning meant that when I got to the office, I took a second trip, this time to the bathroom. And it wasn't pretty. And often I'd take two bathroom trips to take a dump during my workday.

The past three morning I've skipped my breakfast stop at McDonalds, opting instead for a fruit and yogurt parfait and a bottle of water from the health center.

I haven't had sloppy shits.


The Value of Two in a Row


This morning my alarm went off at 5:45. I'd been laying awake for five minutes prior to the breezy chime, debating the merits of turning it off before it made a sound, then rolling over.

I didn't.

I got up, zombie-walked around my room, and bumped into the door to the bathroom. I'm sure I woke my wife up, but she didn't seem to mind. Frankly, I think she was thrilled.

I'm not a morning-person. I hate mornings. I have no issues staying up late at night until 2am, but to wake up before 8am? That's my version of Hell. And yet, there I was, getting it together and getting to the gym.

I'm just at the starting line of my weight-loss, so I'm not yet able to take success from actual scale numbers yet, but when it comes to a non-scale victory I can take pride in getting up and making it to the gym two days in a row.

(no weigh-in this morning. I don't have a routine of when I'm weighing in down yet. Right away? After gym, during shower-time? At night before bed? I'll decide that later this week.)

My life is a loop.


Today is my 2nd anniversary with my wife.

Jeez... I've been trying to find a follow-up sentance, but one isn't available. Something to encapsulate my failures or how I've gained back all the weight I lost years ago. I can't. I don't even know how to write a blog post anymore. Sorry, this is going to be a messy, messy fight.

To my wife and son, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ever let this happen. And to me... You know how hard it was the first time, and how often you've failed trying to reignite in the years since. It's time. Daily. Mornings. Time to eat this turd sandwich you've made.

Day 1 of the rest of my life.


Back from the honeymoon


Jamaica was beautiful! The wife and I had a wonderful time of it. Now we're back, and it's business time (though not business as usual!)

I put on a couple pounds while I was gone. Nothing too major -- I was actually expecting much worse. But with Weight Watchers and some light exercise I hope to keep dumping pounds and get into the 280s soon enough.

The wife and I are talking about morning workouts. Those have worked for me in the past. So has having a work out partner. This could be good. I'll be working to make something positive happen there.

Other than that, I'm still trying to adjust to being home again, and sharing my home with my wife. Things will be a bit weird for the next couple months, so it's going to be very important to keep the weight loss in front of my mind.


Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today.


Today is it -- wedding bells ring four hours from now!

I weighed in on my home scale, then went to WW and weighed in there. Down another 2.6 for a total of 6 pounds (and a star sticker). Pretty good as last night was the Groom's Dinner and I had a couple cocktails, some mashed potatos AND bread pudding for dessert. Yikes!


"And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah… So tweasuwe youw wove..."

My 2nd Weigh-In, or maybe the 1st


I guess it's the second one at Weight Watchers -- my first came in at 301.6, though this is sort of my first post-intro weigh in, so maybe it's my first one. I feel like I'm making this harder than it needs to be. I'll go with 2nd.

Point being, I was down 3.5lbs since my first visit to WW. Not bad. I'm not sure what the variance is between my scale and theirs (except my birthday suit); I'll be honest, I was expecting 5 pounds. 3.5 is nice and all, but I can do better.

After that weigh-in, I then went to rendezvous with some friends for my bachelor party. I didn't do great, though rules were totally suspended that night so I guess it's sort of okay. Maybe? Not sure. I'm kind of making this up as I go.

I think I failed to mention my surgery. I had a visit to the lovely Mayo Clinic in beautiful downtown Rochester, MN. I won't bother with the details, but they worked on my exhaust vent and I can't do much running (or walking or sitting for that matter). So I'm looking forward to being whole again and getting out there for a light jog. Soon I hope!

If this is one day at a time, I'm going to be Snider


Or was it Schnider? I can't remember. Anyway, Thursday nights are my game nights, when I go hang out with friends and drink and eat to excess. Last night I managed to stay within my points (barely!) and as a reward, the scale gods have given me another 1lb loss. I'll take it, though I have to admit, I found myself thinking about points and calories and food and sandwiches and cocktails and soda and and and...

That's my biggest concern, and one of the truths I've discovered and wrestled with for several years: I will ALWAYS have to think about this stuff. Always. It'll never stop, because when I stop thinking about it, I stop being in control. I don't have an auto-pilot in my brain/body - or if I do, it's set to barrel-roll the plane before stalling it out and crashing into a mountain.

Think think think.


Looks like it's working, if ever so slightly


I'm now a week and a half through Weight Watchers. My official first weigh-in there was 301.6. Today, unofficially on my scale, I was 296.6, good for a 5lb loss. I wasn't able to go check in last weekend as I had out-of-town visitors (and because we went and got KFC for dinner -- explosion!). This weekend won't be any easier as my friends and I will be having fun during my bachelor party, and the weekend after that is the wedding and the weekend after that I'll be in frickin Jamaica!!!!

So we'll see how things work out. I'm not expecting huge success as this seems to be the worst time to join WW, yet there's also no time like the present, so I didn't want to delay. I'm tracking and thinking, and that's all for the good.


The more things don't change, the more they stay the same


Today I have engagement photos with the gal. I've known it was coming for some time, and lost no weight for it. In fact, I feel like sometimes I was eating out of spite for these pictures.

Last night I went to get an outfit for the photo session. I had to go to a Big and Tall shop. They never put their shit on sale, so I payed through the nose for an outfit I don't even like that much. Being fat is so limiting.

The gal has been on Weight Watchers for the past month and change. Apparently she'd gone to a dress fitting and things were tight. In the time she's been on the program, she's lost like 14 pounds. Amazing. So this morning I signed up for WW myself. I'm eager to go with her. To have an accountability partner. I work best with a buddy, so I'm thrilled she's going to come with me. Or more likely, she's probably thrilled I'm going to go with her.

299.9 (fuck me!)

Funny how fast I shit the bed


Three-oh-one and two workouts since my last post. There are lessons here. Use my failure and learn them.

Day... uh... Hmm.


So I was right -- I didn't work out on Thursday. Then Friday came and went. And Saturday. And Sunday. And until last night I didn't even think about my commitment to myself.

Not good.

I've also put on 5 pounds in 4 days. Water-weight? Probably. Had foods that were high in sodium. But damn.

So I keep blogging. Minimize the "time off" between posts. Become more consistent. Incrementally improve.

This is a process, I'm not a robot. But I can do better and need to gain stronger focus.

Day 4


Yesterday was going so well too. I'd had a shake for breakfast. A chicken salad wrap at lunch (and a cookie - suck it). Then on my way home, disaster. My rear tire literally shredded apart while I was doing 70mph on the highway. I got the car over and fished out the donut spare, installing it twice - did you know that you can put that SOB on backwards? Now you do, and as of last night, I learned it too.

Sitting along the highway, changing that tire twice, pouring sweat (getting those lugnuts really tight with my hands takes fucking effort kids) and covered in grease, I'd had it. I'm a long-distance commuter, and the days I go into the office I've got an 85 mile drive. I'd only gone 15 miles when the blowout occurred, and now it's already 7pm. I'm tired, hungry and pissed off. Not the best state of mind to make good decisions.

You know where this is going, right? Because I saw the blinking lights of a Subway, looking like an oasis in my time of need and I knew where it was going. 12" meatball, a pair of cookies and no workout when I got home at 8:15... I was over my plan by 590 calories and didn't go for my run or lift any weights. This morning I was up 2 pounds over yesterday. Of course I was. lol! Ah man...

I'm glad that I still recorded my calories and I'm glad I'm writing about it. Puts my actions into focus and not in denial. No workout planned for today, just drinking my water.


Day 3


I really wanted to get to the gym early this morning. Set the alarm for 5:15. Yeah... no chance. I'm just not a morning person. I can stay up until 5am as a late night, but I just can't get up at 5am to start my day.

Oh well, I'll just go after work tonight. As long as I go, right? I'll be back later to record my workout and my eating. Tomorrow I'm planning on a no-workout day, so I won't worry that I won't be at the gym - it's not a skip, it's a planned miss, as all Thursdays will be for me.


Day 2


I'm so glad I went to the gym last night. Not because I had a great workout - I didn't. I actually only lasted 20 minutes and changes on the elliptical. I make no excuses for not getting the regular 45 minutes knocked out, but clearly workouts at 11pm are not when I'm full of energy. But I'm glad I went, just to work on forming that habit. To not allow myself to slip.

Today I'm working on counting my calories. I'd like to get to 1600 calories a day, though rather than dive into it in one day, I'm going to step down slowly, over the course of a week. To achieve this, I'm going to pick up some meal replacement shakes. I'm also going to track calories daily.

For breakfast today, I went to Caribou Coffee (it's like Starbucks for those of you not in the midwest) where I used more of a gift-card that FutureInLaws gave me. One medium Mint Condition with skim milk and white chocolate and one apple fritter. Hitting the nutrition link on the site and plugging in the values of my breakfast, I see that I'm already at 1030. Yikes.

That means I'm going to have a 600-700 calorie lunch, then have a protein shake for dinner. Plan the work, then work the plan.

I'm feeling good right now. In control. It's nice.


Edit @ 8:35pm
Just got back from the gym, where I did 45 minutes on the elliptical, got 3.89 miles on lvl 13 and I feel solid. I stopped off at GNC prior to the run for supplies, and just had my final meal, a meal replacement shake.

I tracked all my calories for the day and came in at 2189. Imagine if I had my typical 1000+ calorie dinner! Jesus. Step one, track. Step two, look for places to eliminate: coffee/pastery in the morning. I'll need to swap that for some fruit and water, maybe a diet soda for caffeine until I ween myself off that (yeah right).

Anyway, short-term this is starting to come together.

One More Time


I've got that song by Daft Punk in my head.

Well, today marks the two-month countdown until my wedding. Scary. Especially as I weighed in and was at 299 and change this morning. But not three bills (like it matters, I've already seen it previous weeks).

For whatever reason, I haven't been able to get my shit together. So now I have to sprint on this marathon instead of grinding it out. What does that mean? Not sure exactly. Hit the gym on the daily. Of course, it's already 10pm and I've yet to go. Shit.

I do like pressure. I can't ever manufacture it. I always know real from fake, you know? Can't hype myself up. I understand why athletes like having 'bulletin board material', as it makes getting hyped up easier. That external pressure.

Anyway, I'd like to dump thirty in two months. Is that even possible? No clue. But if it *is* going to happen, then I need to be doing everything in my power. Running. Lifting weight. Eating well. And blogging.

Whether I lose weight or not, the wedding is coming. I'd like to enjoy the shit out of it, you know?

By the way, FutureWife and I had our first dance lesson tonight. It was okay (though I was irritated that the class instructor insisted on the women switching every dance step -- too many partnerless ladies show up, and with only three lessons left in the package we bought, is it rude of me to want to practice with FutureWife exclusively?

By the way-way, I sweat like a sonofabitch during dancing. Dancing y'all.

edit at 11:27pm
why yes, I did just get home from the gym. Sprint, bitches.

I'm Mr. Glass


I am sick. This is the 2nd straight Monday. If you're doing the math, that's 8 straight days. Eight straight fucking days for one fucking cold.

I hate being sick. It's a miserable experience, and I am just weak and suceptible when it comes around. A cold that a normal person will shake off in two days will stick with me for two weeks.

Anyway, I didn't work out once last week.




Almost missed my daily blogging. But much like today's exercise, I was able to sneak it in. Of course, after my 3.5 miles, I came home to Chipotle. I swear to god, I'll never get where I want to be, eating what I want to eat.




Last night after work I hit the gym and pushed 45 minutes on the elliptical. Near the end the song started really going and I found myself sprinting along to it. Of course, my enthusiasm was quickly rewarded with a punishing stitch to my side, but settling down for the last two minutes of the run got rid of it soon enough.

You know, I know I'm currently in trouble as my belt buckle has been digging into my stomach when I'm sitting. Ain't no denying that. And damn, that shit hurts.


Yep, I blew it.


A bad Thursday, a worse Friday and a straight-up awful Saturday sees a Monday weigh in up six pounds over last week's best. I'm such an idiot! lol -- The only difference is that this time, I'm going to immediately blog the failure, then look to correct it this afternoon by hitting the gym.




Yesterday I didn't do as well as I should have. The morning went well with a powerbar breakfast, but for lunch I hit the cafeteria and grabbed a chicken quesadilla and some fries. Then at dinnertime I had a Shamrock Shake and two double cheeseburgers as I was on the road. Could have made better choices there, that's for certain.

Additionally, I didn't exercise yesterday, as planned. Damn do I hate seeing the salt/grease gain though. It's just... it's very frustrating. Very.