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All my life is on me now



All my life is on me now - LiveJournal.com



Last Build Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 18:22:48 GMT

Copyright: NOINDEX
 



Blatant self-promotion

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 18:22:48 GMT

I am having a Stampin' Up! open house tonight to let people check out all the new stuff the company has for card making, scrapbooking, and other projects (like decals for home decorating).  This is partially to help me make a sales goal by the end of October (I am close!).  Obviously you all aren't here in SF to attend (but if you live close and are free tonight, hit me up!), but if you are interested at all, please check out my website and especially the Clearance Rack (you can access it through the Shop Now link - you have to go through my website to get preferred pricing) - there is a huge sale going on with clearance items until October 18.  I've bought tons of ribbon and corduroy buttons...they keep adding new stuff, too.

Website here:  http://ewokmama.stampinup.net

Also, I have a sale going on for the Big Shot die cutting machine and any of the dies or texture plates - they are 20% off if you email me your order.  This goes until the end of the month.

Alright, y'all can go back to your real journal reading now!



Fun!

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 19:55:15 GMT

I'm a Stampin' Up! demonstrator again!  They had a fabulous deal for ex-demos who wanted to sign back up and I couldn't resist.  The post card came the day before I went to a workshop - it was like serendipity.  I had been thinking about getting back into stamping just for the social factor and creativity.  When I went to the workshop all the excitement I had in doing this stuff before Jack was born came back.  I was like OH YEAH - I used to have hobbies!  Anyway, it was so much fun and the company has fixed a lot of the things that I found annoying previously (and people can now order online from me!!!).

If you want to check out my website: http://ewokmama.stampinup.net



For the SF Peninsula & South Bay Folks

Tue, 15 Jun 2010 20:39:27 GMT

There is a deal going on until Thursday where you can get 50% off a family pack of tickets to Coyote Point Museum in San Mateo.  Check it out:
http://www.savvysource.com/psn/web/localSavings/index/cityId/61836/group_referer/CRB




Tue, 01 Jun 2010 17:58:15 GMT

Joe's work schedule has changed twice in the last week or so.  It drives me nuts!  I updated our visitation calendar and notified our daycare provider the first time and now that all has changed completely.  I hope he gets a permanent job some time soon so Jack's schedule doesn't have to change with the seasons like this.  It's crazy!

It looks like with the exception of one weekend in June and one in July, we will have Jack every weekend until September (well, honeymoon excepted).  I'm sad to give up the one kid-free weekend day.  On the plus side, things will be simpler during  the week.

Who knows what fall/winter will look like...




Tue, 20 Apr 2010 21:56:16 GMT

For the newer crowd - I have a few filters that keeps some of my heavier stuff out of the way.  Let me know if you want to be included on any of them or if you'd like to be removed if you are currently on them.  I know sometimes I refer to some stuff vaguely in my unfiltered posts and that might be annoying, but I also don't want to trigger anyone.

Depression
Therapy/Abuse
Ex-Husband Stuff




Sun, 18 Apr 2010 22:38:50 GMT

Are you on Facebook and will you be my neighbor on Treasure Isle and/or Tiki Farm?  I know...but it's actually fun!



Article on TV & toys

Thu, 25 Mar 2010 17:44:56 GMT

I have a new article up on savings.com and would much appreciate comments over there!



updatey

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 22:16:28 GMT

Lots of stuff going on lately.  Jack is potty training, David got a new job (he starts tomorrow!), we bought a new car (Honda Civic).  I've been busy writing all over the place and work is busy, too.  I'm going to BlogHer in August in New York and excited.  Another busy year!

David and I have pushed the wedding out to September to give us time to save monies and so that I can get the divorce paperwork completed.  I think we've finally agreed and settled on a honeymoon destination - Venice.  I'm not looking forward to the long ass flight but there is so much there that I'd love to see (and eat and drink).  :D  In the mean time, David has planted flowers in our backyard and moved some things around to make it look nice for our reception.  Hopefully it will be very gardeny by September!

Things are good.  Still rough in some areas for me emotionally - most likely due to being sick STILL and my muscle has yet to heal because I keep coughing.  I'm frustrated with Joe for his current financial situation that has delayed him in paying child support this month.  Also frustrated with my weight.  I joined weight watchers so I'm hoping that will help but honestly so far I have had very little motivation to track my food (after the initial letdown at figuring out that the food issues I was having a couple years ago have probably fucked up my metabolism).  Erg.  In any case, if this stupid cold would go away and I could breathe for 5 minutes, I'd exercise!  Anyway, I am going to see a psych tomorrow to have my meds (probably) adjusted.  I had a scare about a week and a half ago and need to figure out how to keep things from getting so bad.  (Thank goodness for David, though - he gave me a massage and was totally sweet.  HUGE help.)

Jack is growing up and it is making me so sad!  I miss my baby.  I never thought I'd say that but here I am.  I am actually looking forward to having another kid (in the future).  For now, I'm waiting mostly patiently.  It is hard when I watch stuff like The Office with Jim & Pam having their kiddo.  Oof.

Alright, back to work I go.




Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:31:05 GMT

Hey Bay Area folks, go here and get 50% off a membership at the Oakland Zoo!
http://www.savvysource.com/event/home_san-francisco-bay-area_ca/referrerCode=CRB



I quit

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:20:28 GMT

I faxed in my withdrawal from college.  I'm a quitter once again (this is the third time I've quit college in the last decade).  I feel so good about the decision!  It was causing more stress and not really doing any good.  I may go back and take some online classes through community college but we will see.  I have no motivation to go.  I don't need a degree, I don't have a career goal other than to keep working/making money, and I don't want to spend time on school when I could be spending time on my family.

Yay for destressing!



Better

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:20:25 GMT

I'm feeling better.  I think the break from school has been great for me.  I met with a counselor earlier this week and that went well, too.  One of the most helpful things was filling out the depression assessment.  There are around 10 questions and the scale for each is 0-3.  I marked three for all but two...I didn't realize until then that things had gotten so bad.  Honestly, in a lot of ways depression is more "comfortable" for me so it's difficult to notice when it hits.  I know how to feel depressed - it is way more foreign for me to feel happy.

Another thing that helped was to fill out the form discussing the things I'm doing to alleviate my depression.  It was a bit scary, though, because there are quite a few things I've been doing and they are having limited success at pulling me out of this funk.  It is good to know that, though, because it points out that this is probably more of a medication issue than anything else.  I'm hoping to get a psychiatrist in the city to help me with that.  (Really, I should have known this - I had this same experience with Prozac before.)

I start school again on November 9 but I switched around my classes so that I won't have to do the research essay class right now.  The last essay class was the one that really stressed me out.  I get a winter break a little more than halfway through the semester, too, so that will be really nice!



Same ol' thing

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:06:03 GMT

Gah, I'm still losing it.  Thankfully I was able to push school off a month and we'll see if I'm ready to return by then.  Jack is on the mend so I have at least part of my brain back.  I'm starting to transition some of my old duties at work and get into my new position.  These are good things...

I've had some depression (it seems to hit me every year around this time) and I've been trying to fight it off, but it's been extraordinarily difficult.  Part of the issue is that I'm not sure HOW to fight it off at this point.  My usual M.O. would be to make social plans but with everything that's been going on I just want to hole up at home (typically the worst possible thing for my depression) and relax.  I'm wondering if relaxation is ever an option for me.  I can't figure out a compromise.

Finally yesterday I straightened up the house.  I am still way behind on laundry and other cleaning.  David and I have been ordering take out a LOT lately because we're both too tired to cook.  I got Wicket's meds but haven't given them to him in two days.  I suuuuck.

Today I sent in my divorce paperwork for the fourth time.  Please please please let it go through this time.  I just want to have that behind me.



Slowing down

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 22:54:53 GMT

I'm done in. The stress of school and work and the busy summer social calendar have really exhausted me. I have decided I'm gonna hide out for a while so that I can get through the rest of this semester without totally going insane. I need time to myself. I need time with Jack and David. I need to lay low for a while on everything else.



One year

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 04:29:50 GMT

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my first date with David. We celebrated on Friday by going back to Clementine (although it's now called Chapeau!) and it was awesome. It's so amazing to look back at the past year and just how wonderful it has been. I find it amazing that I can say that when I think of all the craziness of the last year, but it really has been fantastic!! I am totally in love with this man and so glad to have him in my life. Yay!

Also, for those who don't know, we are engaged! We're planning on getting married on the deck of a cabin in Tahoe in May. The best is yet to come!



SF Area Parents

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 17:12:05 GMT

Wanna help me out? I'm looking for a few parents to join my SF Savvy Source group and get conversation rolling for our launch this week. It would involve signing up for the site and starting a conversation thread on some parenting topic or local-related thing. Easy, right? Hardest part is getting this done before tomorrow.

If you are interested, please leave me your email address (comments are screened) and I'll send you an invitation to the site. Launch won't occur until tomorrow and will roll out through the week, but it'd be nice to have some content on the page.

Thanks!




Sat, 22 Aug 2009 19:40:32 GMT

Hey peeps! I bought my own domain name and moved my parenting blog over to Ewokmama.com. I hope you will all stop by, check it out, and leave a comment or two. Oh and if you subscribe to the feed, you'll want to change that URL!




Thu, 30 Jul 2009 17:45:00 GMT

I got my grades for my first two classes and got 99% for both! Wooohooo! I'm proud!




Mon, 13 Jul 2009 22:46:09 GMT

Can you believe I have a three year old? 



Planning

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 17:15:50 GMT

I'm a planner, always have been.  I plan everything, even conversations (and then I compare the results with the plans because it's interesting to me).

When things in my life are stressful or just not going quite as I had hoped, I plan even more.  I've been focusing on slowing this tendency down a bit so that I can be in the moment more.  I am finding myself planning again, though, and completely looking toward the future rather than living in the moment.  Every time I start thinking about what I want to do next year, or the year after that, or the year after that, or ten years from now, I kick myself and try to stop.  But lately I am kicking myself constantly because I'm just so frustrated with so many things - school, money, lack of time, work.  Planning isn't so bad but goals are better, and I need to remember that trying to speed things up isn't going to help.  Yeah, I want to travel but I can't fast forward to the time when I can afford it and traveling before I can afford it will mean that I won't enjoy it as much because I will worry about money.

So, yeah.  Need to stay in the moment more.  Need to deal with my dissatisfaction and frustration rather than funneling it into planning.  If only I could figure out how.  Also, I need to turn those plans into goals and have milestones so I feel that I am getting somewhere.  I've never been good at setting goals, though...



Stupid school

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:46:40 GMT

I'm pretty sure I'm going to quit school again.  At least, I am fed up with fucking University of Phoenix.  Three times now in 6 weeks I've had to argue with the damned teachers over my grades.  Earlier this week I argued with one professor over my grade because I got docked points on an assignment for something that is based on his preference.  I searched everthing on that freaking website and then I searched the internet and there is nothing supporting his assertion that I should have included subheadings in my short essay.  I pointed out that he is subtracting points for something that he did not state was a requirement of the paper formatting and that I could find no documentation anywhere suggesting that I use subheadings in this situation (the assignment is maybe FIVE paragraphs and he needs it broken down into subheadings??).  I asked him to point out to me where it says this is required or even suggested.  He couldn't back up his claim but he also didn't give me my points back.  Bastard.  This is not even an English or Communications class.  It's a "how to take classes online" basically.  He is docking ME points because he has trouble reading a fucking short essay.

This second thing, coming on top of the first this week, is setting me off even more.  We have to post responses to our classmates a certain number of times each week and the responses have to be substantive.  I have a calendar that I mark off each time I make a substantive response on the website.  I can go back and see my posts, as well.  The teacher even flagged each post this week as done correctly...then when she gave me my grade for the week she docked me points for not having met the participation requirement for the week. @#$%!!!  I emailed her asking for clarification on where I missed the requirement and am waiting to hear back.  She is over a week behind on grades so who knows when I'll hear back.

It's bad enough to me that I am paying these incompetent jerks for classes that are teaching me nothing.  But when I'm not given the credit that I have earned because of their incompetence, it pisses me off.  If I'm not going to receive credit for the work I am putting in, what is the fucking point?  And this school is not exactly cheap; they are NOT giving me the quality education I am paying them for.



Finally a relaxing weekend

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 17:08:28 GMT

I did pretty much nothing all weekend and it was fucking fabulous!  I don't know when the last time I did that was.  After Joe picked up Jack on Saturday I just hung out by myself (David went to Tahoe to help his friend Joshua move) chatting online and drank a bit of wine.  Later in the evening Dave's friend Andy and I got some crepes for dinner and then went to see an Irish folk band called Culann's Hounds (they totally rock, too).  They were SO AWESOME.  Who knew that playing an accordian could be so hot???  I so want to see that band again.  I want to take everyone I know!  Amy, especially you.  I know you'd fucking love it.

Anyway, Sunday I woke up and did more nothing.  I was having a "woman day."  Pretty much watched Netflix movies the whole time, talking with Sarah online in between movies.  A Good Woman was alright, not great.  En La Cama was fabulous.  I felt mixed on Lila Says.  It was really well done but there were some disturbing sexual stuff in there.  I took a walk in the afternoon in the beautiful sunshine.  I love our neighborhood!  I went to Schubert's Bakery, a place I'd been eyeing since we moved here, and I got two mini cakes.  When David got home we had cake for dinner and watched a little BSG.

I feel good today.  Refreshed.  Yay!




Sick

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 22:42:50 GMT

I've got a nasty nasty cold.  I'm trying to ignore it and carry on as much as I can but I don't think the cold likes that very much.  The plane ride home from Vegas made it so that I can't hear very well out of my left ear.  Every time I laugh it sounds more like a cough because my lungs are so crunchy.  I'm taking prescription sudafed and while the box says non-drowsy I'm VERY MUCH drowsy.  I'm nearly falling asleep at my desk and I'd go home except that I can't drive like this!  Also, I have so much work to do from being out late last week (one day due to cold, one day due to Vegas).

I'd like my health back please!




Tue, 09 Jun 2009 23:15:22 GMT

I'm so fucking stressed today!!!!  Guh, I need an outlet for this crap.  Anyone have any suggestions? 

Work is busy.  School is busy.  Jack is sick.  I am sick.  Life is busy.  Finances are kinda bleak.  Tons of travel going on (which is, ya know, part of the bleak finances but only a drop in the bucket really).

On a positive note, I get to see my sister and niece this weekend!  I get to go to Vegas for two nights!  David installed a new kitchen floor for us last Friday.  I am rocking school, rocking my job (at least one of them).  All divorce paperwork will have been submitted by the end of this week.  David and I are going to do a domestic partnership.  We have a concert to go to later in the month.  I'm going to see Beth at the beginning of next month.  Jack is almost 3!  Sarah is coming in August.  All good things.

I need a massage.  A bubble bath.  A cruise.  Retirement!




Wed, 27 May 2009 05:39:55 GMT

Portland pictures can be found here.





Tue, 26 May 2009 22:50:31 GMT

I regret enrolling in school.  I'm already overwhelmed and today is only the first day!  I guess I didn't realize that there would be so many posting requirements for the forums and so many freaking assignments every single week.  Also I apparently have to interact with people a whole lot more than I expected.  Oy.

Shoot me.  How am I going to make it through this freaking program?  I just want to cry.

So starts my bitching about school...