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// i is for internets

// i is for internets -

Last Build Date: Sun, 25 Oct 2015 03:49:07 GMT


Life Update

Sun, 25 Oct 2015 03:49:07 GMT

I am 33.
I work at Cartoon Network.
I have a husband.
I have a dog.
I am happy.
Instagram @OhMaiDarling



Sun, 20 Sep 2015 22:57:32 GMT


The Xanga Rabbit goes deeper

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 19:22:47 GMT

Some psycho stole dozens of my posts. You can read about it HERE.

I went back to Xcite-me's Xanga page again, and discovered that "she" has stolen a shitload more of my writing. I will have to make a separate post to document all those. One in particular really caught my eye as well as chapped my ass. 

HERE is mine.

HERE is the one she posted. Screencap below.


Clearly she is trying to make it sound like it's her own goddamn purse. But ladies and gents, that is not the interesting part, oh no. Before this, I had only read the stolen posts and recognized them as my own writing. I did not really read much of the comments that responded to those posts. I decided to scroll to see the comments to this one. Here is the peculiar thing, for some odd reason, HER readers are responding the exact same way that people on Livejournal had responded to mine. I don't mean they said sort of the same thing. No, their responses are word for word the same, in the exact chronological order that they were written.

Comments on mine.


Comments on her blog


So...she not only copied my words, she has made up an entire network of personalities to respond to posts that she stole.  Here is another example: HERS. MINE. Some of the comments are identical.

At this point I'm not even sure I'm mad. Whoever the fuck this is, they're completely out of their gourd. Bitch is craaaaahaazyyyy. That, or I have the biggest troll/stalker ever. 


crazy bitches are cray

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 19:04:40 GMT

So, about a week ago I was notified that some chick on Xanga has been stealing my writing and passing it off as her own. My first reaction was, "Wait...who the hell still uses Xanga?" It's like the fucking Myspace of blogs. Anyway, with further investigation, it turns out that the user Xcite-me has stolen not one but a couple of my posts. He/She plainly copied and pasted word for word, without bothering to cite where the material came from. She did not mention anywhere that it was not her own writing, and when she started receiving compliments on how "funny" it was, she accepted those knowing full well she did not write those things. 

This first one she stole is one of my Short Hate Lists, something I've been doing since I started a Livejournal blog in 2002. My original post is HERE. She was reported to Xanga, and I believe either she or they removed the entry. However, you can still see the screencap of her plagiarism below. 


The other entry she stole was a commentary I had written about jealousy in women on Livejournal. In 2006. Holy fuck, talk about digging deep for some material. You can see the original post HERE. And this is her entry that she stole from me. See the screencap of it below.


I've tried to leave comments on her blog, but she has blocked me apparently, because I'm not able to see her page once I log into my Xanga account. Who is this pathetic and crazy to steal people's shit? And who is dumb enough to think that they can get away with it? The internet is big, but there ain't nothing Google can't bring up. My guess is this person is extremely disturbed, and likes to create a personality by stealing the works of others. I'm pretty sure all of the photos on that blog are stolen. She needs professional help, or a swift kick in the vag, and I am more than happy to administer the latter.

Am I mad that this piece of shit stole my stuff? Yes. But not as pissed as I am about having to sign up for Xanga.

Oh good, you're still here. Enjoy this Hate List compilation album

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 16:52:20 GMT

Cryptic status updates. Ok attention whore, you got me. "Sometimes ignorance really is bliss." WHAT DOES IT MEEEEAAAN??? "Anything good in life is either illegal, fattening, or bad." Mmmm no there are plenty of things that are just fine and good for you like...oh I duno fucking taking a walk once in a while. Doing | This | Does | Not | Make | You | Look | Skinny Terry Richardson. Skinny ties on fat dudes. People who are on social networking sites and then complain about privacy. Let's make this clear. Once you post shit on the internet, it is no longer private. PERIOD. "Mixologist." I don't care if you can whip up a kick ass martini, you're still a bartender. Mixologist should be reserved for someone who can concoct a pure batch of meth.Economists. They make meteorologists seem legit. "Pop of color." How boring are you if you have to remind yourself to not be boring? Women trying to pose all sexy with stuffed animals. Bye bye boner. Dubstep. Sounds like brown note. These atrocious strappy sandals. You know who should be wearing these? Disney Princesses and Eastern European hookers. People who insist on putting you on speakerphone every time you call. When men say "we're pregnant." No, you're not. The people who blame everything on "the media" are the same bunch watching TLC and reading In Touch magazine. If you want your daughter to not be a bitch, don't name her Courtney. How do you market edgy young music acts nowadays? Do a shitty cover of Nirvana's Teen Spirit!. Here's another onejust in case the last one didn't make you want to pour bleach in your ears. People who give made up coupons as presents. Maybe all Dad really wants is a free pass to hit on the waitress at Benihana. Pregnant women posing nude.It's ten times worse when the dad is there nude too. I don't know who this is intended for, but I'm positive absolutely no one wants to fucking see that. Job ads looking for a "rock star." Cause this is what you'll actually be getting. If you're the rock star in any office, guarantee you're also the person everyone fucking hates. In fact, let's stop calling anyone a rock star altogether. When people misspell (on purpose?) "meet" with "meat." And by people I mean men. When people feel the need to say "happily" before the word "married." Cause you know it's the exact opposite of that. "Jelly" instead of "jealous." Man buns Let's make this clear: Star Wars is no longer the barometer for being a geek. Star Trek on the other hand, still is, cause it's fucking shitty. The people who want government to not regulate what they eat, are the same people who support government regulating who should be able to marry. No irony there. The overstated use of the word "epic."  "Thinspiration." Conversely, motivational macros to justify being fat. Marilyn Monroe was never even close to being full-figured or curvy or whatever you wanna coin overweight these days. "Alpha Male." If you have to use this term in any capacity, you are not one. Look, women just want a funny sensitive guy who looks like this. Nevermind I think he is gay. "Thrifted." I don't know why this pisses me off. Actually no I do. It's her way of bragging about some $4 old ass sweater that was at Goodwill...for a reason. "Mani-pedi." Yes, this is how I imagine all women saying it.[...]

STFU Florida

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 17:54:10 GMT

Florida governor makes drug testing mandatory for Welfare recipients, conveniently owns clinics that do drug tests. Oh Florida, you truly are America's diseased dick.

One of the more popular services at Solantic, the urgent care chain co-founded by Florida Gov. Rick Scott, is drug testing, according to Solantic CEO Karen Bowling. Shortly before he was inaugurated, Scott's lawyers met with attorneys at the Florida Commission on Ethics. Subsequently, they moved his Solantic holdings into a revocable trust in his wife's name, making her the controlling investor in the privately held company. No public records were created from the ethics meeting.

Scott surprised state employees Tuesday by issuing his executive order for mandatory drug testing of all prospective hires, and random drug testing of current employees, in agencies whose directors he appoints.

In the same announcement, he praised the Florida Legislature for its plans to require all welfare applicants to undergo drug testing as well.

Taken together, the initiatives could affect hundreds of thousands of Floridians, forcing them to submit to drug tests or risk losing their public jobs or benefits.

Short Hate List

Sun, 17 Jul 2011 09:44:44 GMT

  1. Siblings who are creepily close and then wonder why people think they're dating each other. Don't rent The Notebook with your brother, it's fucking weird.

  2. People whose idea of class is having granite counter tops. *Puke*

  3. When people pronounce "drawing" "drawring."

  4. Say it with me women. Leggings. Are. Not. Pants. Put your moose knuckle away for the love of Jehovah.

  5. Whore nails in porn. It legit makes me cringe just thinking about all the bacteria trapped under those things.

  6. The ubiquitous QR tags I'm seeing in advertising. Here's one I made, enjoy.


Short Hate List

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 15:43:42 GMT

  1. Maxi dresses. Let's face it ladies, they are just glorified mu-mus.

  2. Fishnet tights. These should be officially Halloween-only.

  3. People who use the word "orgasmic" to describe something that's mediocre at best. You know what...even when its describing something good its still pretty annoying.

  4. "Boudoire" photos. If you've resorted to having your picture taken in tacky lingerie with shitty photoshop filters, your marriage has failed. There's a reason your husband is looking at internet porn. If you're not doing a photo shoot where another chick is involved, he ain't interested.

  5. Marketing people. How can a group of people be paid so much to know so little about what the actual fuck they're talking about?

  6. The word "sexting." Especially when it's coming out of the mouth of these women.

  7. Vegetarians judging food. I appreciate what you're doing, clearly you are a better person than I, but you don't know what real food tastes like. You have no frame of reference here.

  8. When people sign emails with just their first initial. Goal: Professional with a dash of cool. Result: Pretentious with a touch of D-bag.

  9. Guys who refer to women as "females."

I duno I duno

Mon, 11 Jul 2011 17:49:34 GMT

I can't seem to figure out how I feel about pot. On one hand, I find stoner humor absolutely hilarious. I also think pot should be legalized. On the other, smoking pot for recreation is kind of idiotic. I have smart friends who smoke occasionally, but most people don't have the sufficient brain cells to kill. It can go either way, if I like someone and they smoke it, alright cool whatever. BUT if I don't like someone already and I find out they smoke weed, it makes me hate them more. I know that's not rational or fair but eh.

BTW for people who claim that smoking feeds their "creativity," finding several different ways to bake pot into pastries does not equal creativity. No one wants to buy your shitty sand art either.

Sometimes I actually start to feel like weed is harmless, then I see this douchebags like this and I frown upon it once more. Basically this jackass was featured on Nat Geo's show about weed and they presented a less than favorable view of him and his soul patch/landing strip combo. "Naturally this worried me since I try my hardest to present marijuana in a serious and positive vein," Hayne told Toke of the Town. "So I guess I was manipulated and given false assurances. If only I could sue the bastards." Yeah if only you could take a second away from jerking off to High Times, you could get a case together against fucking National Geographic.

A concise summary of what I've been up to

Sat, 09 Jul 2011 19:08:09 GMT

Horse back riding!

Wall climbing!

Crotch diving!

Beer can shooting!

Dancing in a box!

Being Hitlers!

Short Hate List

Sat, 09 Jul 2011 08:16:48 GMT

  1. Those insufferable family car stickers. I'm gonna get some for my car, it's gonna be one lady with like 12 cats.
  2. Let's see...suspenders, belt AND tie? Trust me, those skinny jeans are not in any danger of falling off. Chill with the fucking accessories.
  3. Flash mobs. Maybe this is why terrorists hate America. Maybe this is why I hate America.
  4. The name Skylar.
  5. Tosh.0. He's to comedy as Tumblr is to blogging.

I thought blood diamonds were its blood cell phones.

Sat, 09 Jul 2011 07:32:12 GMT


We’d come to Congo to try to find out more about the developed world’s thirst for coltan, cassiterite, and the other colorfully named minerals that make the electronics industry go round. These are part of a group of natural resources that have been dubbed “conflict minerals” because of the alphabet soup of armed groups (FARDC, CNDP, FDLR, PARECO, etc.) who have found them a very portable and highly profitable way to fund their activities—which mostly consist of killing people. Since 1996, these guerrilla insurgencies have led to the deaths of more than 5 million people, and in one particularly horrific year—2006—the rape of approximately 400,000 women.

A provision in the recently enacted Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act, signed into law by President Barack Obama in 2010, requires American companies to disclose their use of “conflict minerals,” which is basically like asking them if they still beat their wives. In anticipation of the new rules, big corporations have simply avoided purchasing minerals from Congo altogether. Congolese sales of tin ore—used to solder circuit boards together—fell more than 90 percent in May alone.

THE HEART OF BLEAKNESS - Sifting Through the Wreckage of Congos Conflict Economy

Facebook is fucking gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 18:46:32 GMT

I miss you guys. That is all.

Short Hate List

Wed, 04 May 2011 14:53:21 GMT

  1. Celebrities who have no business doing voice overs.

  2. People over 25 giving the finger to the camera. Or worse, the double finger. Bitch, you buy your cat's food from Whole Foods. Time to ditch the attitude.

  3. People describing things as giving them "the edge."

  4. Anyone with a 3-D TV.

  5. Places with a cover. I'm practically 30...if I go somewhere and it's $10 to get in, guess what? Time to go home.

Short Hate list

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 19:34:56 GMT

  1. Chicks who idolize Marilyn Monroe.

  2. Retards who go on reality shows and cry about how they are poor and this would be their big break. I duno, try getting a job like everyone else instead of spending months being on TV. Just a suggestion.

  3. People who seem like they perpetually have a cold. Wash your fucking hands.

  4. Guys who will not dance at their own wedding. Seriously asshole, break a move.

  5. Male directors/writers creating "kick ass" girl characters. Trinity was a kick ass character. These hos can sit down.


What's in my purse you ask?

Sat, 26 Mar 2011 05:05:32 GMT


Look at your life, look at your choices

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 19:01:40 GMT

People who smoke should keep smoking. You've made that decision to kill yourself, please stop trying to quit for the 100th time and making everyone else around you miserable. Obviously the health and financial strain of your addiction is not enough to get you off it completely. Whatever reasons you have for yourself to start up again (it's summer, only when I drink, only when I bone strangers) keep on keepin on. Just look at where you are, putting patches on yourself, taking pills, smoking those pussyass electronic cigarettes...It's embarrassing. If you are so weak that you can't quit cold turkey, then keep smoking real cigarettes and stop looking like an asshole.

If your drug comes with an adapter, it's not cool anymore.

that's quite enough thank you

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 22:08:02 GMT

Stop trying to make another Hangover. Nobody gives a shit about 30-something men and their near mid-life crises. Basically, Adam Sandler needs to DIAF.







Too Racist; Shouldn't Read

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 17:40:10 GMT

Walmart. 11pm. Two checkout lines. People have been waiting forever. This dude tried to cut in front of the line, like it was totally cool cause he just had 3 boxes of candy. He got denied by a big black dude who was buying himself a big jug of apple juice, a TV mount, and some water on a Wednesday night. Black dude just shook his head and gestured him to the back of the line.

Joshua: Black people are the biggest line cutters of all. How can they tell someone not to cut?

Me: The guy that was doing it was with an entourage, they were Middle Eastern (I know this because of the abundance of Affliction-like apparel) They took forever to check out, then he came back to the line like "oh shit forgot to get me some mike and ikes." Everyone in line was like aw hale nah. The terrorists did not win that day, we stood up for what was right.

Joshua: Way to go America.

Me: Yeah I felt like saluting the flag just then

Joshua: An Eagle flew overhead at that moment.

Me: It was like we all hit him in the face with an apple pie. BTW black people down here are nice and would never cut you in line.

Joshua: That's good to hear. My experience with black people is that they don't comprehend the concept of a line and just walk to the front of it like WTF all these stupid white people standing around for? I don't ever say anything though because I'm afraid of minorities. Except Asians. Cause you're little and can't kill me with a violin or math.

Me: That's true, the Asian in me was like eh fuck it let him cut.

Short Hate List

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 02:00:48 GMT

  1. People who make their kids wear band shirts. You're not cool, your kid is not cool.

  2. People who have to be "on" all the time. Yeah I get it you're witty, relax.

  3. People whose entire lives are based on their smartphones. Is there an app for shutting the fuck up?

  4. People in boot camp groups. I just wanna throw Girl Scout thin mints at them.

  5. Yoga pants.

  6. People who over-pronunciate foreign words. This is why I cannot watch Giada De Laurentis or any Spanish-speaking cook on tv.

Short Hate List

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 20:00:27 GMT

  1. People who spell laugh "laff".

  2. People with really annoying email signatures. "Love like you have never been hurt" Ughhhh.

  3. People who use their job as an excuse for not being in a relationship. Oh I'm too busy, I have no time. Bullshit. Look around, plenty of people are able to manage a job AND a stable relationship. It's not a miracle. Hell even Picasso had a wife and you know that guy was super into his profession. Stop using your job as a crutch so you don't actually have to put any effort into having a relationship.

  4. People who say "don't say I never gave you anything." Gee, a free calendar that you got from the bank? I am forever indebted to you now.

  5. People who start ordering food with "let me gettuh..." RUDE

  6. USPS and their joke of a tracking system. Why they fuck even bother?

  7. Guys named Renee.

  8. People who hold their phones in front of their face when they talk.

crazy internet world

Wed, 20 Oct 2010 01:18:41 GMT

I just realized that (image) dan501 is Joseph Gordan Levitt's brother who recently passed away. I've been following his journal and we've been lj friends for a long time. He seemed like an awesome person. May he rest in peace.

90s Party

Mon, 18 Oct 2010 15:33:34 GMT


killing people is srs busns

Sat, 25 Sep 2010 04:44:39 GMT

You know what sub genre of movies that need to die? The movie about someone who would otherwise be funny and likeable...except that they're really an assassin. Like I'm really supposed to believe Ashton Kutcher works for the CIA and kills people on a regular basis? The fuck outta here.


Short Hate List

Fri, 24 Sep 2010 19:36:13 GMT

  1. Man Caves. Decor is not manly. Go back to masturbating in the basement while your wife is out.

  2. Guys who are like "Some women would get offended if you didn't compliment them." Who the fuck are you talking about? Fat chicks? What? Women do not want "compliments" from assholes like you.

  3. People who use their personality type as if it's an explanation for anything. No you're right, you're not a control freak with daddy issues, you're a Type A personality.

  4. Pandora bracelets. The friendship bracelets made for dumb moms.

  5. Network TV shows with bleeped out swear words in the title like this this and this. It's not edgy and shocking, it's just fucking lazy.