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Last Build Date: Fri, 26 Jun 2009 03:27:00 GMT

Copyright: NOINDEX

[pop culture]

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 03:27:00 GMT

Everyone is posting about Michael Jackson dying. I am not an exception. As usual, for me, (image) lord_whimsy has it right. I have few thoughts on Jackson — his music was never my taste, his style was never my style. I am young. When I was 13 years old it was 1995 and Jackson was (well) past his prime. Jackson to me was always socially malformed, a skeletal-faced huecuva who did with boys and lived as a recluse. For all that I always thought that Jackson would die like all pathetic idols: alone in his penthouse surrounded by jars of urine and empty tissue boxes, or stabbed to death in a swimming pool by one of his catamites. Either way, old — not 50 years old.

I do not mourn Jackson or even care that he is dead. I think he was a sad man who was the product of manipulation and consumerism and his parents' ambition. But I care about the reaction. I do so love when cultural points-of-reference die. The collective rubbernecking is delicious and fascinating. These are the crucial days, when the many memes and strands of society coalesce into the zeitgeist. Yesterday Jackson was something different to everyone. Those differences will merge and blend over the ensuing days, months, years, until we have the historical MICHAEL JACKSON: the MICHAEL JACKSON we choose to remember, not the Michael Jackson who existed. So pay attention! Our present as we remember it is being formed right now.


Wed, 17 Jun 2009 02:02:50 GMT

Luff gets a bracket! Tonight (image) swirlychick made pizza using a new pizza tray thing she ordered on the advice of her friend, C—. She has been raving about it all night! Bringing it up at random moments just as a reflection. "And another thing that was great about the pizza? It was [insert complimentary pizza feature]." You would think she invented champagne or the vodka tonic! Still and all, I guess you know you luff someone when you smile every time they open their mouth — even when, every time they open their mouth, they talk about this one pizza they made.


Tue, 16 Jun 2009 23:16:20 GMT

So I am browsing around MEN.STYLE.COM looking for outfit ideas for C—'s birthday party on Friday and CAN WE TALK PLEASE about Alexander McQueen's Fall 2009 Collection? Such a genius. Every year it is like he sits down and decides to just go ahead and make a line that is aimed AT ME, SPECIFICALLY. (Well, maybe not Fall 2008. That one was sort of a miss. BUT OTHERWISE.)


Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:24:11 GMT

Even though I am legit on the verge of a nervous breakdown here at work — legit, I am paralyzed with indecision borne of panic and exhaustion — I keep looking around my office and wondering if I should buy one of these posters to hang over my desk.

[pop culture]

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 14:45:08 GMT

Holy fuck. David Carradine is dead.

[pop culture]

Tue, 26 May 2009 21:15:23 GMT

Flight of the Navigator slated to be remade by Disney. In other news, Disney arrested on accusations of taking my childhood out back and bludgeoning it to death with a lead pipe.

[pop culture]

Sat, 23 May 2009 19:39:59 GMT

CONTINUING with my theme of just referring you prols to THINGS OF INTEREST: the recent Cat and Girl cracked me up, but only at the last panel. NON-NERDS OF HISTORY NEED TO NOT VIEW.

[pop culture]

Sat, 23 May 2009 01:05:29 GMT

OMG HOT HOT TWO FISTED SHERLOCK HOLMES ACTION! None of this pseudo-sodomitical intellectual dandy BULLSHIT. Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes EATS BITCHES LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST and is played by ROBERT DOWNEY FUCKING JUNIOR, FUCKERS.

Fri, 22 May 2009 02:42:54 GMT

Yes yes Kris Allen won American Idol: news not worth posting except for the WORLD-ENDING FALLOUT that is even now vibrating throughout the pop culture hive mind! ANYWAY I HAVE MORE LINKS FOR YOU FUCKERS WITH YOUR SHORT ATTENTION SPANS. Here, the top ten reaction videos from last night. All are very funny but the funniest are nos. 9 and 3. What, you want EMBEDS? FINE. See what I do for you people? IT'S ALWAYS FOR YOU.

[pop culture]

Tue, 19 May 2009 21:55:12 GMT

You owe it to yourself — I'm looking at you, gays — to watch the commencement speech Ellen DeGeneres gave at Tulane University. Here, I'll even link to the relevant post. IS THAT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU HOMOS? God. Here, take an embed AND LIKE IT:

[job, prattle, vice]

Fri, 08 May 2009 14:04:12 GMT

Senior Partner is on vacation starting yesterday and will be away from the office all of next week. Also, for the first time in weeks I do not have any depositions to take or defend today. I do not have any emergency motions that need to be filed. I do not have any pressing deadlines or huge briefs to write. I do have a number of picayune tasks that need to be completed, which I have been putting off forever, such as calling the IRS on behalf of a client who is (a) an idiot and (b) lying to me. (So that will be fun.) But the odds that I will get even half of them done today are slim since, in the absence of a crushing deadline or boiler-like pressure, my motivation for today is very low. It's funny how work is like that. I spend so much time just trying to keep my head above water that I just give up on swimming altogether when I reach the shallows. But I must stay somewhat focused! If I do not get a few things done today I will be kicking myself next week.In other life- and job-related news, my firm is breaking up. Senior Partner and Other Senior Partner, along with Pretty Junior Partner, Hippie Junior Partner, my friend I—, Other Associate and Private Investigator are moving to a new office down the street. It's a bright new space with a great view of the Charles River, so that is a marked improvement. Plus I am getting a raise and an "automatic bonus" at year's end, which I totally, totally deserve. The downside is that I will be working even more closely with Senior Partner. I have an odd relationship with Senior Partner. On the one hand, I hate her. She is singularly the most difficult person I have ever dealt with. I feel compelled to compare her to Miranda Priestly but only in the sense that she is condescending, demeaning, and entirely unconcerned with other peoples' lives. It says something about me that I would have more respect for Senior Partner if she, like Miranda Priestly, was beautiful and fashionable. But Senior Partner is neither. She dresses terribly and is not even remotely attractive. She is, as well, socially awkward to the point that I sometimes wonder if she suffers from some sort of handicap or disability. But on the other hand, Senior Partner allegedly adores me. I do not know why. She savagely revises and forces me to rewrite things all the time. She corrects me constantly and never lets me get a word in edge-wise. But people never stop reminding me that she "loves me." I think it is because I can be completely obsequious and never say no and never show her how annoyed I am with her. And in a very strange, very attenuated way, I respect Senior Partner. She is brilliant, and she is a powerful, self-assured woman who could give a fuck what everyone thinks — a sort of hubris that is usually, in our pervasively misogynistic society, only afforded to men.In other news, I bought a PSP a few weeks ago. This was probably the best purchase I have made in a long time. I love having a sleek, super-lightweight game system available at all times. As a piece of technology it's amazing: the graphics and audio are crazy good by any measure, let alone if that measure is, "A tiny piece of black plastic that you carry around in your bag." If I have nothing to read, I can play on the T. If I'm sitting on the couch with swirlychick and don't feel like watching whatever is one TV, I can play a game without having to go to the other room. Plus I can browse the Internets wherever there's a wireless signal, and listen to music, watch movies and TV shows, and do all sorts of other things. (But mostly play games.) So far the only games I have for it are Jeanne D'Arc, a wonderful alternate history tactical RPG in which you play, well, Jeanne D'Arc, who must save France from the infernal (literally) English armies, the vile machinations of the Du[...]

[debt, vice]

Fri, 01 May 2009 18:34:59 GMT

I just had the most infuriated experience with American Express in the history of my account with American Express.

I have about $98,000 in student loans for law school. These loans were in automatic deferment until March. (Students get a six month grace period upon graduating before their loan payments are due.)

Prior to my student loans coming due, I had a very substantial credit limit with American Express. American Express was my first and is still my only credit card. I have been with them for four or five years and have never missed a payment. I think in those four or five years I've had, perhaps, six late payments due to me just forgetting what day it was.

In March, I get this letter and email from American Express telling me they were reducing my credit limit to effectively a third of my prior limit. I assume it'd due to my student loans coming out of deferment. I mean to call, but I forget.

Today, I purchase train tickets and book a hotel room in New York to go down there for work for two days in May. I make these purchases at 10:20 a.m. Even though I could pay cash for these expenses, I use my credit card because, hey, always nice to have an extra $950 in your checking account.

In the middle of my deposition at 11:45 a.m., I get a call from American Express. I don't answer it, obviously, but call them back on my way back to work. The woman informs me that my most recent purchase put me over my fucking limit.

Me: That's impossible. Even with my balance I still had $1,400 in available credit.
Her: I'm sorry, sir, but we recently reviewed your account and reduced your available line of credit.
Me: "Recently"? I haven't received any notification of this. How "recently" is "recently"?
Her: Effective today.
Me: Today? Today when?
Her: This morning.
Me: Are you serious?
Her: Yes, sir.
Me: Do you have a time of day?
Her: 11:32 a.m., sir.
Me: So you reduced my line of credit after I made a purchase, thereby bumping that purchase over my line of credit?
Her: I'm afraid so, sir.

Of course I insist on knowing if there will be any fees assessed, and she says there will not. I don't believe her, though: I cannot wait to get my next bill. Of course I insist on knowing what I can do to increase my limit, and she says nothing: I have to wait 12 months for my "periodic review." Of course I insist on speaking with someone who can help me, but she says no one can help me in this matter: she is the person who handles credit limits.

In the meantime, I furious. I have always appreciated American Express. They've never screwed me before; never hiked my interest rates without telling me. Like I said a few paragraphs ago, I've been with them for years and have no other credit cards. I've never had a balance of more than $4,000. Now, because my student loan payments are due, they've decided to cut my available credit to a fraction of its prior amount, twice, and then post hoc apply that lower limit to a purchase.

I could pay off my balance right now, but that would effectively wipe out my savings which is not a good idea. So instead I am going to open another card and transfer the balance this weekend. But I will be fucked up the ass with a fireplace poker before I pay American Express another fucking dime.

[politics, pop culture]

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 17:51:11 GMT

Here's a fun thing: the official White House Flickr Album. 293 photos of our handsome President and fashionable First Lady (and Bo!) and counting.

Edits: A few favs, even though I should be working. (1) Carrying his own umbrella, like a true Muslim Communist; (2) hugging his wife before a trip, awwwwwwwww; (3) all those Russian aristo portraits are like, "Who let the African in here?!"; (4) Michelle, lookin' fine; (5) Resting his foot on a football, like a true Muslim Communist football player.

[pop culture]

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 01:03:24 GMT

I tried to fight it, but ... I love Adam Lambert. Either (a) he has gotten less annoying as this season as progressed or (b) I totally misjudged him initially, but I must say, I love him. He is consistently entertaining, and I love the spin he puts on these songs. I'm not sure I'd pay to see him in concert as a general principle, but I would pay to see him in concert if the tickets were under $45 and I had nothing else going on that night.


Tue, 14 Apr 2009 14:00:24 GMT

(Stolen directly from (image) lord_whimsy.) I feel like the only people I see these days are (image) swirlychick, (image) breaking_open and my friend I—. So, LIFE CHECK: How is everyone doing of late?


Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:00:13 GMT

Once in a great while — usually after some stunning liberal victory, a la same-sex marriage in Vermont — I check out RedState. I can usually count on RedState to bring the lolz, when it doesn't bring the incandescent rage. Monday, we got a bit of both! Do yourself a disfavor and go read this awesome tribute to sexism. Short version: Barry did not kiss Nicolas Sarkozy's beautiful wife because he is totally henpecked by his controlling bitch of a wife. Mmmmmm. I love the smell of vicious misogyny in the morning.

[prattle, vice]

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 14:55:14 GMT

Finished The System of the World last night. What a masterpiece. Truly a fine way to end a remarkable trilogy. Towards the epilogue, I had that moment which I am sure all of us can relate to: dying to know what will happen, but sad that it is all coming to an end.

[oddities, prattle]

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 18:59:37 GMT

Go check out World War II: If Maps Could Fight. Do it.


Wed, 11 Mar 2009 16:12:24 GMT

I am about half-way through The System of the World, which I am enjoying immensely. However, I can see why it is not the most widely-acclaimed of the three Baroque Cycle volumes. Stephenson frequently goes off on, "I did research, let me show you it!" tangents, and a lot of the plot is devoted to succession issues and eighteenth-century politics. Still, I am engrossed, probably for the same reasons that I (am the only person I know who?) enjoyed The Vicomte de Bragelonne.

I have been on a big Cole Porter kick recently. Embarrassingly enough, this was caused by watching De-Lovely back in February. Was it an awful movie? Oh, yes. Terrible. Really, just terrible. But the soundtrack! Man, it brought me right back to the eighth and ninth grades, when I was a hopelessly distant and awkward only child who, for want of friends, would stay home on Friday and Saturday nights and watch pulp films and musicals from the '30s and '40s in the billiard room. (Yes, we had a billiard room.) (Yes, it was probably around this time that my parents decided they could stop saving for my eventual wedding.) (Ha, fooled them, am I right?)

Otherwise I work a lot (not right now, obviously) and spend considerable time with (image) swirlychick further decorating and furnishing our apartment. Last weekend we bought an area rug and curtains for our computer area, to make it seem more like a "permanent space" and not just two desks in the middle of what by-all-rights should be a dining room. I am really impressed with our choices — which is a statement, since we have the best taste of any couple I know — and keep meaning to have (image) swirlychick post the photographs for public consumption.

[politics, prattle]

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 18:49:58 GMT

I think we should all spend a moment to reflect on the fact that eight of the ten states with the highest level of online pornography consumption are dyed-in-the-red and voted for John McCain. I think we should especially reflect on the fact that the number one state for online pornography consumption is ... the Mormon Kingdom of Utah. Those blond-haired, blue-eyed, strapping-young Mormon boys! They seem so pure and chaste, but we all know that, late a night, when all the blinds are closed, they're jerking off to hardcore coprophagic interracial gay porn.

[pop culture, vice]

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 01:20:32 GMT

Brandon Flowers invoking some serious Ashes to Ashes-era David Bowie in the video for Spaceman.

[prattle, vice]

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 17:55:22 GMT

FACT. Starbucks can add green tea to anything and it will automatically become twice as delicious as before. Latte? Delicious. Green tea latte? Doubly delicious. Frappacino? Delicious. Green tea frappacino? DEATH BY DELICIOUS. Countdown to sugar-high followed by plummeting crash in energy begins . . . NOW.


Wed, 25 Feb 2009 03:40:02 GMT

BOBBY JINDAL! This guy, am I right? Bobby Jindal makes me want to strangle someone. I cannot believe he opened his speech by saying that the people of New Orleans know better than to trust the Federal Government. Um, what? The fact that the Federal Government didn't do anything is the reason why Hurricane Katrina was so devastating, Bobby. Also, your fucking party was in charge when all that shit went down, Bobby.

If I had anticipated how furious this would make me I would have liveblogged it. How should we approach this economic crisis, Bobby? Well, let me tell you a story about how some sheriff organized private boats to get people off their roofs and some bureaucrat tried to stop him. Oh, gee, that's swell Bobby — so your proposed solution to the economic melt-down is random fucking acts of charity and good-will? Hey, maybe if we all went out and donated $5 to some charity tomorrow, the economy would be all better by this time next week!

TERRIBLE SPEECH-GIVER AND REPUBLICANS' ONLY HOPE FOR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE ALSO SEZ: "Half of Louisiana is under water, and the other half is under indictment. They don't say that any more." That's right, Bobby. Now they say, "Half of Louisiana is under water, and the other half has descended into near-Third World poverty and is under martial law and/or ruled by street gangs."


Wed, 25 Feb 2009 00:25:50 GMT

I just paid $12 to have The System of the World, which sells for $11, shipped to me in two business days. This would not have happened if the Borders at Downtown Crossing had not utterly failed to have The System of the World in stock. I greatly fear that I will finish The Confusion by Friday and have to wait a number of days greater than zero to begin The System of the World. I could not tolerate such a fate because I love The Baroque Cycle more than my own children. (Hypothetically speaking, as I have no and intend never to have any children).


Fri, 20 Feb 2009 14:59:52 GMT

For your viewing pleasure on this sluggish Friday morning: interesting Egyptian-inspired line by Christian Siriano, 24 year-old fashion savant, available here courtesy of (image) ohnotheydidnt. My favorites: this, this, this.