Last Build Date: Fri, 11 Jul 2014 04:44:30 GMTCopyright: NOINDEX
Fri, 11 Jul 2014 04:44:30 GMT
That moment when you realize you've become the antithesis of every value you've ever had.
Is this my bottom yet?
Sun, 15 Jun 2014 07:16:38 GMT
JULIE, I THINK YOU MAY BE THE ONLY PERSON WHO READS THIS BUT IM POSTING IT BECAUSE I NEED TO RECOUNT THIS FEELING.
SERIOUS, SERIOUS TRIGGER WARNING.
This feeling I feel right now is perfect. I feel serene and normal. I think maybe I'm high. I swallowed three 5mg Ambien and snorted the fourth. On top of 1 CCC and 5 Benadryl over 4 hours. I feel glowy but kinda slow but mostly like there are so many things I want to do right now. I'm not grinding my teeth and my body is fully relaxed. Nothing bothers me. I'm just chillin and I love this.
Mon, 02 Jun 2014 17:10:33 GMT
You'll probably realize how great I am the very second I irreversibly lose interest in you. Because that's how my life works.
Thu, 29 May 2014 04:24:29 GMT
I'm not going to chase you. You know how I feel. If you want me, you know where I'll be. If you have someone new and she makes you happy, I'm not going to say it thrills me that it couldn't be me but I will be happy for your happiness. I care about you way more than you probably deserve. You're breaking my heart the way you're doing this but I'm a big girl and I'm a lot stronger than you think. Also, if you didn't care, why would you even be reading this?
Sun, 18 May 2014 21:55:27 GMT
Still living around here often makes me feel like I've never really left Mainland. It's impossible to meet someone even slightly cool without that person already having an opinion of you based on what their friends have to say about you and miscommunicated information from biased parties. Everyone talks about everyone else and you can't trust anyone with anything because they'll tell someone they trust and so on and so forth until it becomes whisper down the lane. Instead of Point Diner, Denny's, and football games, we see each other at Charlie's and Greg's and Caroline's and instead of hearing things outside our lockers in B Hall, we read them on Facebook. And Bayfest is the fucking prom. And everything sucks and it really feels like sometimes we've all been labeled. We all belong to a clique. It's incestuous and creepy. These are the only people who will ever be in our lives if we choose to stay here. MRHS, Class of Infinity.
Sun, 11 May 2014 19:14:16 GMT
I'm so glad I made it to the beach today. Even though I wasn't there for very long, the vitamin D really picked up my spirits. Is there any better feeling than lying in bed with freshly washed hair and sun-kissed skin while the ocean breeze blows through the screen door? Methinks it not. ❤️
Fri, 09 May 2014 22:57:24 GMT
Officially on a liquid diet until further notice. I just want to look like I used to. I'm so limited because of my appearance. When I was hot, shit was just handed to me. Not that I don't want to work for the things I want. I just really feel like I'll never get the quality of things I desire until my self-esteem is back. I can't stand living in this body anymore.
Thu, 08 May 2014 14:53:50 GMT
Those fuckin' girls, they smile and nod but never a single word. I'm just in the way. I'm the ball and chain. You're the jailbird chirpin' how hard life is in the cage. How hard it is wakin' up next to me...
Thu, 08 May 2014 05:11:22 GMT
Who do you--
Who do you--Who do you--Who do you think you are?
Ha ha ha, bless your soul.
...do you really think you're in control?
Wed, 07 May 2014 03:48:27 GMT
I really actually do love him. Despite everything. I still love being in his arms at the end of the night. I feel so safe and protected. ❤️ I don't have to decide yet.
Tue, 06 May 2014 21:11:57 GMT
My old therapist told me I collect people.
I still don't know what she meant by that.
Sun, 04 May 2014 17:14:04 GMT
After years untouched, my lj ranks 19,135 out of 8.8 million.
I guess I must be more interesting than I thought.
Thu, 01 May 2014 17:10:48 GMT
Nice guys might finish last, but nice girls get finished on. #sorrynotsorry