Blog for Self Improvement

Do You Have Low Self Esteem?

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 02:28:39 PDT

Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. -- Malcom Forbes Low self esteem can be devastating to an individual’s personal, work, and scholastic life. The constant feeling of inadequacy and unworthiness can undermine attempts to succeed at even the smallest things. If you find yourself plagued with such feelings, you may need to ask “Do I have low self esteem?” Self esteem is your own view of yourself, your capabilities, and your attributes. It is impossible to succeed in life if you are constantly second guessing and berating yourself over the tiniest detail. Many individuals suffer from low self esteem, so you are certainly not alone. Some individuals have recently begun to question their self esteem while others have been doing so their entire lives. Whatever your situation, honestly answering these questions will give you a great deal of insight into how you view yourself. Are you nervous or awkward around other individuals? These people can be coworkers, friends, family members, or even strangers on the street. Do you ever look at anyone and think you are not on the same “level” as they are physically, mentally, or athletically? Do you see yourself as the least important member of your family, group of friends, or office? These persistent feelings can erode your self esteem. Most likely, you are the only one who thinks these things. Ask your friends, coworkers, and family members about your performance, attitude, and personality. More than likely, you will be pleasantly surprised. Remember to rank your own needs up there with the needs of others. Quite often, individuals with low self esteem strive to please everyone but themselves in order to make themselves feel more adequate. This act usually backfires since your focus is on those surrounding you instead of yourself. Dig deep and figure out your own needs. Focusing on yourself for a while will allow you to identify to root cause of your self esteem issues so that you can go about conquering them. Do you worry or obsess about your physical appearance? Are you constantly trying to change your appearance for what you think is the better? These feelings of inadequacy are quite common, especially among children and women. Often, individuals notice certain qualities about themselves as children due to comments by a friend, family member, or school mate. These feelings harbor themselves inside, making them stronger and deeper-rooted. Some individuals obsess about their weight, height, statue, bone structure, facial features, hair, and any thing else under the sun. These issues can become the root of serious problems, including eating disorders. Even the most beautiful people in the world have some feelings of inadequacy about their outward appearance. The people society deems beautiful or perfect have secret issues about their own appearance or body, so you are definitely not alone. Instead of constantly worrying about those aspects you deem as negative, focus on the positive. If you find yourself slipping into a dangerous or deadly habit, seek professional help as soon as possible. The world has learned to live with you, now you must make the decision to live with yourself. Once you are comfortable in your own skin, your self confidence will soar sky-high. Do you publicly berate yourself for fun? Is your idea of a good conversation tearing yourself down at the expense of others? Would you rather talk about your failures and weaknesses over your successes and strengths? This is often the case with individuals with low self esteem. Instead of accentuating the positive, they verbalize that constantly criticizing voice they hear in their own heads. Whatever the case, if you find yourself to be suffering from low self esteem, there are ways to rebuild from within. Seek help from friends, family members, colleagues, self-help books, or professionals if necessary. Low self esteem is a problem that should not be ignored. [...]

The essential keys to self improvement and motivation

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 09:44:38 PDT

Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings so that you shall come easily by what others have labored hard for. --Socrates What are the three keys to self improvement and motivation? 1. INSPIRATION. Inspiration is critical to staying motivated and improving oneself. If you are not interested in your business, your motivation level will never be high and you will not be able to sustain interest for very long. Take an honest look at your inspiration level. Are you excited about going to work or is it an obligation? You would be surprised at the number of people who choose a business that looks good on paper, but in reality does not interest them in the least. These individuals will grow weary and uninterested pretty quickly because they have no inspiration or passion to sustain them during the difficult times they will encounter as a small business owner. If you do not like your work, then think how you can re-focus your small business to better match your needs. Or consider making a change entirely. Without inspiration, there will not be motivated to even try self improvement. 2. SETTING GOALS. Short and long-term goal setting is vital for any business owner. If you do not set goals, you would have no definite purpose on which path of self improvement to take. How could you possibly be motivated if you were unsure about the direction of your company? Take the time to put your goals in writing. A business plan may sound daunting, but it is really nothing more than goals, strategies, implementation and a budget. Write your own business plan and update it at least annually. Include “mini-goals” that can be accomplished in a matter of hours, days or weeks as well as the more ambitious “grand-goals” that may take years to complete. Refer to this plan throughout the year. But can a business plan really help motivate you? Of course. Written goals will make you feel more professional and certainly more connected to your business. It will also free you from having to reinvent your business goals every single day. 3. SOCIAL NETWORKING. Another key factor in getting and staying motivated is networking with other small business owners. No one person knows all the knowledge. However, when a number of people begin working together, the challenges will just be there waiting to be conquered. In fact, the isolation of working alone is of one the most difficult parts of being an entrepreneur. You can never be on your way to self improvement without the help of others. Mutual support is motivating.Make it easier on yourself by connecting with others either in your community or online. Even when businesses are not related, you will often find common ground and ways to work together. Many successful entrepreneurs report that finding the right networking group was a turning point in the growth of the business. Working together, a networking group can help its members generate more qualified sales leads and solve problems faster and more efficiently. Sharing ideas, expertise and experience is also an invaluable aspect of motivation and self improvement. Your own personal team of business owners will help re-energize you when the burdens of running your own business seem too much. With your networking team to rely on, you can accomplish more in less time and probably have more fun in the process. You will feel motivated to accomplish self improvement when you know you are not alone. [...]

50 Useful Facebook Apps for Healthy Living and Self Improvement

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 01:48:17 PDT

You may only consider Facebook as a platform for social networking and photo sharing, but its collection of apps proves that it goes way beyond the basic profile. On Facebook, you’ll find apps that can help you manage your health and fitness goals, meet new friends in real life, become better organized, learn a new language and even learn more about the passions and causes that drive you. Read on to discover 50 useful Facebook apps for healthy living and self improvement. Fitness Practice these sports and games online so that when it’s time to play for real, you’ll be ready for a real work out. Twenty20 Cricket: Build a cricket team and decide on strategies for different matches. You can even sell drinks to fans.Golf.com Pro Challenge: Play challenges like longest drive, closest to the pin, and putting challenge to improve your game.Football Tycoon: Coach your own football team and learn about strategy, training and more.Rugby Union: Try to make the rugby championships on Facebook with this app.What soccer position should you play?: Let this quiz help you figure out which position you should be playing on a real soccer field.Virtual Squash Player: Play squash online to improve your real-world game.LivingSocial: Slopes: Here you can manage your real life skiing progress by tracking which slopes you’ve visited and which ones you’d like to try.Ballers Network: Connect with other ball players and sports fanatics around the world to set up times to play in real life.MapMyFitness: Map and measure your weight-loss progress, running goals, and more.My Goals by Gold’s Gym: Manage your fitness goals on Facebook with this app. Self-Discovery From astrology to emotional IQ quizzes, these apps are all about helping you discover your strengths and interests. What Color Is Your Heart?: Discover your emotional IQ with this quiz.My Personality: Take this psychology quiz to find out how open you are, how agreeable you are, and how much of an extrovert you are.Astrology: Study your love horoscope, karma rating and daily horoscope to learn more about your personality.Traveler IQ Challenge: Quiz yourself on your travel, geography and culture IQ. It might be time to explore someplace new.How smart are you?: It’s not an official IQ test, but this quiz can show you your strengths and weaknesses.Heritage and Flags: Display your ethnic pride by using this app.What City?: Find out which city you actually belong in, based on your personality and passions.Music iLike: Explore new music, share songs with friends, and add music videos to your profile.Ticker Factory: Keep track of your goals and progress here.Am I a Liberal or a Conservative: Use this app as a way to learn more about your political and social leanings. Education, Work and Organization With these apps, you can become a better organized, more informed student or professional. National Geographic Video Digest: Learn more about the natural world around you by checking this app.Calendar: Stay organized with this calendar from 30 Boxes. It features SMS reminders, integration with MySpace, Flickr, Wordpress and Facebook, and more.Advanced Swedish Word of the Day: Learn Swedish day by day with this app.Sex Health Videos: Learn about sexual health here.Goodreads Books: This app integrates with the Goodreads network, letting you share reading lists with friends and discuss literature.inCircle Connections: Get job openings, network with other members, and learn about opportunities with big companies.My Merch Store: Using this app, you can design products and sell them on Facebook and Zazzle.Wordy: Learn new words by playing this game on Facebook.weRead: Post your reading lists and books you’ve read with this app[...]

How to Regain Your Lost Self-Confidence

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 08:20:03 PDT

“What's the worst thing that can happen to a quarterback? He loses his confidence”.--Terry Bradshaw Nobody can hurt you without your consent There are many instances in life where your confidence is hit hard. Sometimes you overcome life’s hardness, sometimes you get overwhelmed. Sometimes your courage and confidence sees you through, but sometimes your self-confidence gets a beating. However, the point here to remember is that “Nobody can hurt you without your consent.” The problem is not as important as the impact it had on you, rather the impact that YOU let the problem create on you. In life pain is inevitable but suffering is optional, as the saying goes. It’s purely your choice, and whether you choose to bounce back or suffer is entirely your prerogative. There can be many reasons that your self-confidence is hurt. You may have had a bad marriage and now are heading for a divorce. You were not chosen for your college’s football team; you may have been laid off. There’s definitely a lot of pain involved in any of the situations. But you don’t necessarily have to suffer. You must arise and resolve to get back your confidence. The following ways would help you do just that. Look at the brighter side If you have been laid off, it would be okay to feel bad about it for a day or two but not more than that. Losing a job is a terrible thing, but it does not mean the end of the world. Who knows it might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe you have got some time to review your life, get aware of where you are going, have a look at your likes and hobbies which you could not develop because of pressures of your job. Maybe this is an opportunity to start afresh and live your life a new way which is more in sync with your abilities and aptitude. Similarly, a divorce may cause great pain but then you weren’t too happy in your marriage either. It probably was just not meant to be. Now you have a chance to rebuild your life the way you want it to be. Stop comparing yourself with other people When we have a problem we always question God – “Oh, God, why me?” Certainly God gave you a lot of rewards as well. Did you then get up and ask God –“Oh God, why me?” That’s what human nature is all about. We complain and remember God when we are in trouble or else we are too busy with ourselves. Stop looking at other people who seem too happy and comfortable to you from a distance. Stop comparing their comfort with your suffering. This will only frustrate you further. Focus on yourself and make every effort you can make to go out whenever you are feeling down. Self-pity is very addictive and capable of destroying lives. Instead of indulging in self-pity (though we all do from time to time), take control of your life and take responsibility for your actions, learn from your mistakes and make a fresh start. And yeah…don’t be bogged down when you hear a “NO”. A “NO” is something which even greats like Edison and Ford, too, had to face. If you look at them positively, you will find that each “NO” actually takes you closer to a “YES.” It’s been reported time and time again that Edison conducted more than a thousand failed experiments before he actually made an electric bulb! So get going and take the occasional no in stride. Are you standing in your own way You will notice that shadows are caused when we stand in the path of sunshine. In our lives, too, we cause a lot of shadows by standing in the way of our own happiness. In today’s world, it is important to be flexible. A lot of people will look for a job for months, yet still reject work coming their way because they are not willing to adapt to some new job requirements. Jane, a schoolteacher, was laid off from her job. She kept trying for months to get a job as a teacher while rejecting opportunities such as taking private tuitions, being a nanny, doing copy-editing work as a freelancer. The long wait hurt her self-confidence even more. Sometimes it is wise[...]

Getting Anxious Over Anxiety Depression

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 08:27:09 PDT

“We often hear of people breaking down from overwork, but in nine out of ten they are really suffering from worry or anxiety”. --John Lubbock A lot of people who are exerting too much of their brain power usually exhaust not only their physical strength when engaging in various multi-tasking activities, they also tend to over extend their brains up to the point when it plainly needs some good old time for relaxation. A lot of busy people who seem to cannot fathom the idea of relaxing and taking time of from work, as well as their worries, tend to actually start having nervous breakdowns, anxiety depression and all sorts of mental illnesses that can cause a person's sanity to go haywire, fortunately, if you're one of those poor unfortunate ones who are unable to distress and is constantly worried and fussing over things, there are actually available cures and various treatments for treating anxiety depression. Anxiety depression is actually characterized by all sorts of irregularities and erratic behavior from the person who is suffering from it, this is usually due to certain stress triggers that may tend to easily cause a person undue jitters and stress. Also, a lot of people who tend to get easily nervous over stressful activities are actually prone to having anxiety depression, its just a matter of being strong-willed when it comes to facing difficult and stress-prone activities. It may be pretty hard to overcome at first, but trying to be calm and cool in times of extreme pressure is what'll actually save your mental health from going totally downward spiral. When it comes to effectively curing one's self from a mental illness, one must keep in mind that you have to be actually honest with yourself and assess what kind of depression or mental illness you actually have, go to reputable psychiatrist to get yourself diagnosed correctly as well as be able to get the right depression treatment for yourself. Here are the various types of depression: Manic or Bipolar depression - characterized by sudden and extreme changes in one's mood wherein one minute he or she is in an elevated state of euphoria while the next minute (day or week) he or she is feeling to be in a personal hell. Postpartum depression - characterized by a prolonged sadness and a feeling of emptiness by a new mother wherein physical stress during child birth, an uncertain sense of responsibility towards the new born baby can be just some of the possible factors why some new mother go through this. Dysthimia - characterized by a slight similarity with depression, although this time, it's been proven to be a lot less severe, but of course with any case, should be treated immediately. Cyclothemia - characterized by a slight similarity with Manic or Bipolar depression wherein the individual suffering from this mental illness may occasionally suffer from severe changes in one's moods. Seasonal Affective Disorder - characterized by falling in a rut only during specific seasons (i.e. Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall) studies however, prove that more people actually fall in to a rut more during the Winter and Fall seasons and lastly, Mood swings, wherein a person's mood may shift from happy to sad to angry in just a short time.  But the type of depression that has actually been proven to be quite common among people is anxiety depression, which is actually characterized by the state of being overly anxious about things. Anxiety, a supposedly normal behavior that'll actually help a person adjust more to a certain stressful activity like first date jitters or a grueling exam the following day. Anxiety actually helps you get psyched up towards facing certain "difficult situations"; anxiety therefore is actually a good thing. Anxiety depression however, is simply the opposite, not to be easily dismissed as a "case of the nerves"; Anxiety depression is in actuality an illness that can be caused from the biological makeup of[...]

Know Thyself: 100 Fun and Informative Personality Quizzes

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 02:31:26 PDT

Socrates once said, “the unexamined life is not worth living.” By utilizing these top 100 personality quizzes for men, women, children, and more, you can see that his wish does not go unfulfilled. Best Quizzes for Women Because no quiz is created equally, below are the top quizzes for women to help with their most common problems. 1. How Well Do You Know Men?: According to Dr. Phil, “Most women labor under an unbelievable number of delusions as to why guys do what they do.” Take the following quiz to see if he’s right. 2. How Beauty Savvy Are You?: “Marie Claire” gives women this quiz to find out their beauty I.Q. Twenty questions test you on a variety of beauty products and procedures. 3. Are You Intimidating?: “Cosmo” magazine asks women this question to see how well you interact with both men and women. In the end, intimidation isn’t always a bad thing. 4. Sex Fact or Fiction?: “Women’s Health” test your knowledge of intimate things. Fifteen sexy statements are true or false and yours to figure out. 5. Do You Look For The Right Traits In A Guy?: Whether attracted to the good guy or bad boy, make sure he has the right traits beyond the superficial with this quiz.Best Quizzes for Men Men will appreciate the tips and tools given in these quizzes on career, relationships, personality, and much more. 8. How Grody Are You?: Learn the most powerful women repellants by taking this quiz. It gives tips on grooming, the five second rule, and more. 9. Are You Too Competitive?: No one wants to be the guy picked last, so learn how to make games fun with this quiz from “Men’s Health.” Seven easy questions will determine your level of competitiveness. 10. GQ Style Quiz: Take this easy and short quiz to calculate your fashion style. Best of all, you can win a watch just for taking it. 11. What Should You Really Fear?: It’s no secret that men aren’t supposed to show fear. With the help of this quiz, you can see what is actually likely to harm you. 12. F Marry Kill: A fun, if not juvenile, quiz for men. Three pictures of famous people will come up and you have decide whether to marry, kill, or f*&k them. 13. The Fitness Test: Test your fitness level by doing pushups, stretches, and a brief sprint on the treadmill. Made for men, but ambitious women can take it as well. 14. Are You A Clueless Geek?: Think of Steve Carell from The Office. If you have a lot in common with him, you will score high on this quiz.Best Personality Quizzes for Teens Stepping out of childhood and into the adult world can do a lot to your personality. Take these quizzes to see where you are, and be sure to save the results for giggles when you’re grown up. 18. What Group Are You?: Teens looking to find their niche will get some help with this easy to take quiz. Answers include rocker, emo, goth, trendy, etc. 19. Seventeen Magazine: This leading magazine has a ton of online quizzes for every girl. They include quizzes on shoes, fashion, personality, and more. 20. Sex Ed 101: Get your parent’s permission before taking this quiz. A useful and age appropriate tool for teaching teens and kids about the birds and the bees. 21. What’s Your Prom Style?: The biggest night of your life just might be your prom night. Get fashion tips for your style and type based on your answers. 22. What Character Are You From Twilight?: Fans of the books by Stephenie Meyer’s or movies will enjoy this quiz. Fifteen easy questions will let you know who you are most like. 23. Are You Old Enough To Date?: Parents still think you’re too young to date? Then take this quiz and post your answer for just about every social site to see. 24. Which Video Game Character Are You?: Love to play games? Then take this quiz to see if you are more like Luigi or Lara Croft. 25. Am I Fat?: With body image becoming more and more prevalent in teen society, this quiz can help you determine if you have weight issues. Suitable for both[...]

Time Management Tips To Help You In Achieving Success

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 05:41:14 PDT

The great dividing line between success and failure can be expressed in five words: “I did not have time.”--Franklin Field Are you a person who finds it difficult to stay focused and to stay on task?  Are you regularly late for important events or do you turn in projects or homework after the deadline?  If you do, you may need to improve your time management skill.  The good news is that there are a number of tips that can help you do so.  A few of these tips are outlined below for your convenience. Set Time Management Goal First and most important things that you will have to do; is to create time management goals for yourself.  These goals can be for different things.  For example, you can set a main goal of improving your time management in a specific period of time, like two weeks or a month.  You can also set individual goals for yourself, like arriving to parties, social events, work, or important business meetings on time.  No matter what goals you choose to set for yourself, they are important, as goals work to provide motivation. Identify Time Wasters Another way to improve your time management is to determine where you have the most problems.  What exactly is it that causes you to waste time?  There are many things which waste your time. Chances are you already know.  If not, do a little test.  Walk though a normal day and record what times you get distracted the most and what you are doing at those times.  Do you find yourself wasting time when socializing with friends, procrastinatation, chatting, using the internet, watching television or movie?  If so, reduce or completely eliminate those distractions. Time Management Tools It is also important to note that there a number of time management tools available for your use as well.  These tools should not be relied on daily, but they can be used to help you establish a routine.  As for what time management tools you can use, you may be surprised with all of your options.  To do lists, daily planners, and alarm clocks are all great ideas.  Many modern computers and cell phones also come with time management tools, including alarm clocks, calendars, calendar alerts, to do list and so forth. Make A To Do List A to do list is a time management tool which is very beneficial in managing the time properly. As helpful as a to do list can be, it is important to also prioritize.  You will want to list your items in order of importance.  Most important tasks are at the top while least important at the end. For example, if your list focuses on tasks to do at home is it more important for you to do laundry, vacuum the house, or wash dishes?  The order of your lists should all depend on importance and urgency. Get Organized One of the best ways to properly manage your time is to stay organized.  In fact, poor organization is the leading cause of wasted time.  If you are employed, be sure to keep your office desk clean and clutter free.  When doing so, you are able to stay focused and on task better.  You should be able to get more work done, as you should spend less time searching for misplaced or lost documents. Avoid disorganization. Organization is not only important in the workplace, but other areas that you frequent, such as your home or your car. Getting Help It is important to remember that sometimes help is needed.  The last thing that you want to do is be overloaded, whether it be at work or at home.  If you need to outsource some of your work to a coworker or if you need to hire the services of a professional housecleaner, go ahead and do so.  Once you are caught back up, you can begin to properly manage your time.  As much as we all want to complete our responsibilities on our own, it is important to remember that sometimes help is needed. Conclusion The above mentioned time management tips should be able to help you better manage your time on your own. Ther[...]

3 Ways to Super Charge Your Affirmations

Sat, 8 Aug 2009 05:24:00 PDT

“One comes to believe whatever one repeats to oneself sufficiently often, whether the statement be true or false. It comes to be dominating thought in one's mind.” -- Robert Collier Repetition of words creates repetition of thoughts. Repetition of thoughts creates reality. By intentionally choosing the words that wallpaper your mind, you change the tone of the room in which you live and you change the life you are living. ******* The Power of Words ******* We typically dilute our words by drawing them from vague and conflicted states of mind. We present a muddy impression on the creative medium in which we live and our reality mirrors our dull efforts. This is so easy to remedy that you may actually shock yourself with your radical improvement in results as you become more intentional with your affirmations. Words are not just signposts that point to meaning. When we use them to simply report what we observe it’s like using a racecar to deliver newspapers. Words are powerful instruments of manifestation. When given an open road they will perform extraordinary feats. ******* Eliminate These Words ******* We use certain words habitually and somewhat unconsciously. By eliminating them from your affirmations, you will automatically begin implementing 2 of the 3 ways to supercharge your affirmations, without even yet knowing what these 3 ways are. Here are the words to eliminate: no, not, don’t, doesn’t, never, won’t, can’t, stop, quit, will, am going to, should, want to, plan to, hope to. Every time you create an affirmation, check for these words. If you find them, reword your affirmation without them. ******* 3 Superchargers for Your Affirmations ******* Supercharger #1 ==>Always Affirm in the Present Tense When you are creating an affirmation, you are like an artist creating a painting. Whatever you affirm with your paintbrush becomes the reality on the canvas. As an affirmation artist, you do not have colors on your palette. Your words are your paint. You are pulling potential realities from the formless realm into the manifest realm through the narrow birth canal of your carefully chosen words. Choose your words in the present tense so that the reality you choose becomes experienced now. Now is the only time that has the mystical power to pour forth a manifestation. If you word your affirmations in the future by saying, “I will…,” you keep that carrot dangling in the fictitious future and you pull the plug on the power of your affirmations. A surefire way to begin an affirmation is with the sacred words, “I am…” Supercharger #2 ==> Always Affirm in the Positive You are bothering to create an affirmation because you are living something unwanted and you desire a change. It is only natural that you would understand your desire as not wanting what you’ve got. But if you point your affirmation toward getting rid of a habit or condition, if you say what you will not do, or if you affirm that something will go away, you are actually chaining yourself to it. It simply does not work. In fact you’d be better off not to affirm at all because this sort of negative affirmation is like affirming the opposite of what you want. Remember, to affirm means to make firm. It is the process of bringing things into form. Remember also that the universe does not hear the word “no.” So whatever you are talking about, whether you are affirming or denying it, you are in effect, affirming it. Instead of saying, “I will quit smoking,” which is both in the future and negative, say something like: All my actions are healthy and intentional. I choose my actions and I enjoy all my choices. I am in charge of my actions. I have healthy life affirming habits. I love being in charge of my life. Supercharger #3 ==> Feel as if it’s Already True Once you have a well-chosen phrase to affirm, one t[...]

Getting Over Fear With An Abundance Mentality

Wed, 5 Aug 2009 05:41:38 PDT

Fear is a common culprit for most if not all of the problems we as men face with dealing with women. I know you and I both have fears over all the different aspects of pickup, from just walking up and saying those first few words, to getting a girls phone number, kissing a girl, having sex or even keeping a relationship alive and dealing with jealousy and attachment. At the root of most of these fears is what is known as a scarcity mentality, yet on the surface it doesn't appear to be so. I often hear guys say they can't walk up and talk to a girl because they don't know what to say. This is not true, for just walking up and simply saying hi to a girl and going from there is a great way to start a conversation. It's the mindset that if they screw up with this girl there are very few others left to seduce which causes feelings of anxiety and a feeling of "I have to get this girl". The simply truth is you really don't need all these fancy opening lines and "pickup lines" in order to meet and attract women, you just have to realize a few simple truths about reality. A Scarcity mentality is where you feel there are very women in the world for you, and it generally comes in two forms. The first is "the one" girl, that girl you pine over day and night and can't get her out of your head, the girl you believe is the only woman for you, that she is the best woman in the world and no other girls can even compare to her. I've heard it many times before from many many guys, telling me "oh but this girls soo special, I don't want to be seeing other girls in case she gets upset" or "I just don't think there are any women as good as her out there", before they have even kissed her. If you've ever thought this way I've got bad news for you: this is a self destructive mindset that will only end up pushing the girl you desire further and further away. Now the second type of scarcity mentality is the one experienced when talking to random girls in a club/bar/on a train etc. It's the thought that with each failure your running out of options. Or that other people may see you talking to her and talk about you behind your back, then that rumour will spread from girl to girl until eventually they all know about your antics. In all truths this is never going to happen and you are never going to run out of girls to talk to (unless you live in a town in the middle of nowhere with 100 people, if you do, get out of there quickly and get into a city), you probably already realize this logically, however just "getting it" emotionally will take a fair bit more work. Now an abundance mentality is the complete opposite of a scarcity mentality. It is where you realize that there are many many women out there for you and you will never run dry. Thus you never think there is this one girl that you must have, nor do you get overly attached in a relationship, and it is exactly what girls are looking for in a guy. Now not being attached does not mean your not loving, I love my girlfriend to bits and do show it, but I still have that mentality that if she ever cheats on me or does something equally bad I will dump her and can easily find another girl without a problem. Having an abundance mentality also means most if not all of your fear of things such as talking to women you've never met, or asking them out on a date completely evaporate. Generally the main fear a guy has is that he will screw things up by asking her out, kissing her too early etc. If you have a true abundance mentality you will realize that if you screw up with her there are a million more girls standing right behind her waiting for you. You start to feel at ease and gain a feeling of self worth when you realize that you will never run out of women. Even if you screw up your chances with a different girl every single day for the next 10 years, you will still not have[...]

Depression management. Different ways to effectively deal with depression

Sun, 2 Aug 2009 02:25:21 PDT

The word depression is used to describe a range of moods, from the low spirits we all experience occasionally to a severe problem with interferes with our daily lives. Making a distinction between the two can be difficult, which means depression can go unrecognized in some people. The good news is that depression can be effectively treated in most people if caught in time. The longer treatment is delayed the worse the depression is likely to get and the longer it can take for the treatment to take full effect. A natural remedy may take longer to work than medication from your GP so it is helpful to have other forms of support to use alongside e.g. using essential oils, relaxation techniques, talking to close friends etc Recognize the different signs • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, self blame, feeling out of control and unable to cope • Feeling tired and lethargic • Poor/Lack of concentration, indecisiveness, forgetfulness • Loss of appetite and weight loss or an increase in appetite and weight gain • Changes to your normal sleeping pattern – either insomnia or wanting to sleep all the time • Restlessness or agitation • An urge to cry all the time • Lack of interest in sex Different types of depression Depression comes in many forms, with no two cases being the same. It is possible however to divide it into broad categories, although in real life there is often an overlap Reactive depression Triggered by trauma. This may be physical, such as a serious injury or accident or psychological such as bereavement or divorce. Counselling, loving family and friends and other practical or emotional support are often all that is needed. However, a reactive depression could continue to interfere with someone’s life if any other, older problems are brought to the surface. Endogenous depression This tends to be more severe than reactive depression. It is more to do with a person’s personality rather than an external event, and can happen at any time. The person’s mood tends to be worse at the beginning of the day and can be marked with periods of guilt and self doubt. Manic depression/Bio polar disorder This type of depression is marked by mood swings, from highs of excessive energy and elation to lows of utter despair and lethargy. These moods may occur directly after each other or may alternate with varying periods of stability. Post-natal depression This usually strikes between the 3rd and 10th day after the birth and is thought be caused by the sudden drop in the female hormones oestrogen and progesterone. It is believed that approx 50% of new mothers suffer from “baby blues” to some degree; they don’t usually last for long but some women suffer a much deeper, longer-lasting depression and a few women can end up needing hospital care. Swift treatment for post-natal depression is essential but counselling can often sort things out satisfactorily. Masked depression Usually reactive, occurring in people who have suffered trauma but don’t react in the “normal” way. On the surface the person appears to be quite happy but there can be physical problems such as a loss of energy or appetite or disturbed sleeping patterns. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD Syndrome) This is a form of winter depression that affects approx a million people in the UK especially during December through to February. In addition, there are many people who are thought to be affected by the winter blues, a mild form of SAD. Symptoms include sleep problems, lethargy, a craving for carbohydrates, anxiety, loss of sex drive, mood swings and general irritability. It is believed that SAD syndrome may be linked with a faulty production of serotonin, a brain chemical that helps control mood swings or it could be caused by incr[...]

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