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Copyright: Copyright 2016, Situation Publishing

Judge nailed for trying to bribe Fed with fizzy water (aka Bud Light)

Sat, 22 Oct 2016 09:04:03 GMT

Attempt to steal wife's text messages gets all watered down

A judge in North Carolina, US, has been convicted for attempting to bribe an FBI agent to pull his wife's text messages in exchange for two cases of flavored water – aka American light beer.…

Machine-learning craze reaches freelancers: AI skills sought for gigs

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 22:08:08 GMT

Fed up with artificial intelligence hype? The blather is only just beginning

Machine learning, Tableau, and user experience design represented the fastest growing skills on freelancing platform Upwork during the third quarter of the year, a finding that makes sense in the context of the accelerating collection of data and the need to present it.…

Today the web was broken by countless hacked devices – your 60-second summary

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 21:45:24 GMT

IoT gadgets behind tens of millions of IP addresses flooded DNS biz Dyn

Updated Today a vast army of hijacked internet-connected devices – from security cameras and video recorders to home routers – turned on their owners and broke a big chunk of the web.…

Como–D'oh! Infosec duo exploits OCR flaw to nab a website's HTTPS cert

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 20:40:31 GMT

Pair abused typo blind spot to game certificate authority

Two European security researchers exploited Comodo's crappy backend systems to obtain a HTTPS certificate for a domain they do not own.…

Smoking hole found on Mars where Schiaparelli lander, er, 'landed'

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 19:27:38 GMT

4KM plummet to surface shattered Euro spacecraft

Pic The European Space Agency has spotted what it assumes is what's left of its Schiaparelli lander that smashed into the Martian surface this week.…

DNS devastation: Top websites whacked offline as Dyn dies again

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 18:55:55 GMT

Twitter, Amazon, AirBnB, Github and many others hit in DDoS attack on infrastructure

An extraordinary, focused attack on DNS provider Dyn continues to disrupt internet services for hundreds of companies, including online giants Twitter, Amazon, AirBnB, Spotify and others.…

Boffins twist beams of neutrons into pasta to cook up holograms

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 17:42:16 GMT

Fun but it's probably better for measuring really small things

Holograms created with neutron beams have been demonstrated for the first time by a team of scientists working at the National Institute of Standards and Technology.…

Gartner's seers pass judgement on storage industry leaders

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 17:12:13 GMT

Quadrantic magicians do their square rating thingy

Gartner has published a distributed file systems and object storage magic quadrant with the top three suppliers being Dell EMC, followed by IBM and Scality.…

Acronis: Yep, we're using blockchain for backup now

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 16:02:09 GMT

Blockchain timestamped hashing fraud check

Acronis's Storage software product for businesses and service providers uses blockchain technology to prove data has not been altered.…

OpenStack-flinger Mirantis signs landmark NTT deal

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 15:31:06 GMT

Private cloud - as a service, sir?

Cloud-flinger Mirantis has signed up global telco giant NTT as its first data centre service provider partner.…

EMC moves into Dell house: Where'd I put the spoons?

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 15:05:09 GMT

Check the Org chart, will you

Comment We've learnt how the EMC organisation has been fitted into its new Dell house, at least at a top exec and product level, and here is an org chart set to show what we believe we know.…

Hewlett Packard Enterprise gives UK boss control of Ireland

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 14:47:11 GMT

No, not the whole country, just the whole country operation

After three decades at or near the top of HPE’s Irish ops - latterly the standalone Enterprise organisation - Martin Murphy is to leave the business by the end of February, El Reg can confirm.…

Dyn dinged by DDoS: US DNS firm gives web a bad hair day

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 14:23:12 GMT

Reddit, Github, Airbnb and pals affected

A denial of service attack against managed DNS provider Dyn restricted access to many US-based websites on Friday.…

New measurement alert. The Pogba: 1,200Pg = NHS annual budget

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 14:01:14 GMT

You gotta have standards

Reg Standards Bureau Reporting on NHS expenditure today, the BBC's health correspondent Nick Triggle coined The Register's newest unit of measurement: The Pogba (Pg).…

Today is the 211th anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 13:43:13 GMT

Toast the Immortal Memory of Admiral Lord Nelson, shipmates

Today marks the 211th anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar, in which Admiral Horatio Nelson gave the combined naval might of France and Spain a bloody good kicking.…

Hax0rs sow Discord by using VoIP service to sling malware at gamers

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 13:31:07 GMT

Not even playtime's safe these days

Hackers abused a free VoIP service for gamers to distribute remote-access Trojans and other malware.…

Computacenter Q3 numbers lifted by weak British Pound

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 12:58:05 GMT

'Hurrah for the Euro and our services biz in Germany' cheers reseller titan

The weak British pound worked in Computacenter’s favour during its calendar Q3, as the conversion of Euros generated by ops in mainland Europe helped to lift group revenues and offset “softness” in the UK.…

Hapless Network Rail contractors KO broadband in Uxbridge

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 12:29:10 GMT

30 cables cut and countless masts out of action

Hapless Network Rail contractors drove a pile through 30 cable ducts, cutting phone, broadband services and many cell towers in the Uxbridge, Middlesex - potentially knocking services out until next week.…

No matter who becomes US president, America's tech giants are going to be quids in

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 11:56:10 GMT

Both parties promising massive tax break on overseas earnings

Last night's US presidential debate may have been fierce, but no matter who wins the election next month, technology firms are going to make out like bandits.…

Hack us and you're basically attacking America, says UK defence sec

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 11:43:11 GMT

And we'll attack you back, promises Defence Secretary

Britain is splurging £265m on military cyber security – and that includes offensive capabilities, according to Defence Secretary Sir Michael Fallon.…

Meet the slimeballs who are openly sabotaging Virgin Media

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 11:17:10 GMT

Amazingly slow Shropshire attack causes sluggish services

Snails attacked a Virgin Media broadband cabinet in Shropshire, UK, resulting in sluggish broadband services.…

UK fintech firm reaches for Ireland Brexit escape hatch

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 10:58:07 GMT

Seeks passporting clarity

A UK fin-tech firm will seek regulation in Ireland if the government doesn’t preserve financial services passporting rights in its EU exit talks.…

Lessons from the Mini: Before revamping or rebooting anything, please read this

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 10:24:10 GMT

How not to throw the baby out with the bathwater

If you're considering doing a relaunch, a "reboot", or a revamp of any kind, there's a lot to learn from the story of the Mini.…

Oh joy. You can now buy a gold plated quadcopter drone

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 10:02:23 GMT

And fly it at more than 16 times the legally permitted height, we're told

Rich fools who like remote control toys can now splurge £20,000 buying a gold-plated DJI Phantom quadcopter, we are breathlessly told.…

What will happen when I'm too old to push? (buttons, that is)

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 09:35:08 GMT

Glitzy gadgets begin to lose their appeal

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I'd like you to consider my underwear.…

Sky’s CEO drops MVNO bombshell at results conference

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 09:02:59 GMT

Firm's sure to use its sports lure to bring in the punters

At the announcement of its results this week, Sky said that it was planning MVNO services based on the O2 network, which is run in the UK by Telefonica. Faultline has been forecasting a move by Sky into cellular for the past four years and is surprised that it has taken this long for the move to emerge.…

Hardware ain't hard, money is: Crowdfunding, bootstraps and startups

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 08:24:10 GMT

Can you rattle the tin for marketing? Really?

Radbot Our quiz on startup branding revealed that a worrying number of you are not to be trusted with a hot iron - branding, soldering, or even wool setting, it seems.…

Sysadmin flees asbestos scare with disk drive, blank pay cheques, angry builders in pursuit

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 08:02:08 GMT

And he needed rather obscure controllers to get anything working again

On-Call Welcome again to On-Call, our Friday frolic through readers' memories of jobs gone bad.…

AMD is a rounding error on Intel's spreadsheet and that sucks for us all

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 07:36:09 GMT

Zen biz's only hope is to avoid Chipzilla's wrath, it seems

On Tuesday, Intel said it expects to bank in the final quarter of the year $15.7bn in sales, plus or minus $500m. That's a billion-dollar swing.…

Puppet shows its hand: All your software is belong to us

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 07:17:33 GMT

In the future code is going to be managed and deployed by other code

Special report In an episode of Seinfeld from 1996, George is shocked when he discovers his former boss, Mr Wilhelm, has joined a cult, the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners.…

Glued-shut IT wallets hindered UK govt's programmes – study

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 07:01:05 GMT

Viewing big initiatives as tech projects not helpful, say Brunel researchers

Efforts by the previous UK government to rein in lavish Whitehall technology spending caused more harm than good in some instances.…

Slack whacks global account hijack holes

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 06:30:05 GMT

For a while there your Slack account could be hijacked with just a username

Hipster collaboration platform Slack has shuttered an access control bypass that allowed users to hijack any account.…

Rogue sysadmins the target of Microsoft's new 'Shielded VM' security

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 05:55:12 GMT

VMware's also trying to stop Dennis Nedry in vSphere 6.5, but both trail the NSA and Xen

Virtual machine security is suddenly a hot spot: VMware's building a new product for it and has added new bits to vSphere 6.5 to enhance it. And Microsoft thinks it has found a new way to secure VMs.…

Fruity hacking group juiced by Microsoft's October patch parade

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 05:29:05 GMT

Get your patching done, people, this Font-borne bug is being actively exploited

Kaspersky Labs researcher Anton Ivanov says an advanced threat group was exploiting a Windows zero day vulnerability before Microsoft patched it last week.…

Two new dinosaurs walked from South America to Australia, via Antarctica

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 04:56:06 GMT

Skeleton suggests beast as long as a London bus

Australian paleo-boffins have revealed two new dinosaurs, Savannasaurus elliottorum and Diamantinasaurus matildae.…

Spam scum ping global blacklists to wreck rep

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 04:02:09 GMT

Email pests seek clean machines for better hit rates.

Malware authors are consulting IP blacklists designed to help fight spam in a bid to avoid detection and increase inbox hit rates.…

IBM throws ISP under a bus for Australia's #Censusfail

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 02:38:32 GMT

Big Blue claims ISP allowed DDoS. ISP says IBM rejected DDoS advice and services

IBM has blamed a supplier for causing the failure of Australia's online census, which went offline on the very night millions of households were required to describe their disposition.…

Dirty COW explained: Get a moooo-ve on and patch Linux root hole

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 02:21:33 GMT

Widespread flaw can be easily exploited to hijack PCs, servers, gizmos, phones

Code dive Patch your Linux-powered systems, phones and gadgets as soon as possible, if you can, to kill off a kernel-level flaw affecting nearly every distro of the open-source operating system.…

Google pays $100k to anti-malware crusader Giovanni Vigna

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:58:13 GMT

Prolific malware murderer bags Mountain View's Security, Privacy and Anti-Abuse award

Anti-malware machine and head of the Shellphish DARPA Grand Challenge bronze-medallist team has won US$100,000 from Google for security research efforts.…

DIY website builder Weebly was secured feebly

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 00:55:41 GMT

43m credentials lifted, plus 58m more at Modern Business Solutions and 22m from FourSquare

Another day, another three major breaches: this time at do it yourself website builder Weebly, which has been revealed as secured feebly, as were FourSquare and Modern Business Solutions.…

Microsoft kinda did OK this quarter – but whatever, Wall Street loves Satya Nadella

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 00:05:17 GMT

It's the cloud economy, stupid

Microsoft's first-quarter results for its 2017 fiscal year reveal a four per cent year-on-year fall in profit and 10 per cent dive in operating income.…

Verizon: Data center sale going nicely. Yahoo! bid? Not so much

Thu, 20 Oct 2016 21:54:31 GMT

Lawyers now working to decide how much to knock off the Purple Palace offer

US telecom giant Verizon says it has formally begun talks with Yahoo! on adjusting the terms of their merger.…

Three million debit cards at risk after hackers raid Indian payment systems

Thu, 20 Oct 2016 20:37:37 GMT

It wasn't us, gov! Hitachi Payment Services denies its ATMs were pwned

A suspected security breach has led banks in India to warn 3.25 million customers to replace their debit cards or change the PINs.…

Despite best efforts, fewer and fewer women are working in tech

Thu, 20 Oct 2016 20:25:57 GMT

It's not the boardroom that needs a change, it's the classroom

Women are still losing ground in the computer science and IT fields, despite corporate pledges to improve gender diversity in their ranks.…

File this: XtremIO to fling forth filer functionality

Thu, 20 Oct 2016 19:20:10 GMT

NASty: Gen-two gear will add transactional file operations on block base

Analysis XtremIO's rush to revenue glory is going to get accelerated with coming file data services added to its block base.…

US DNC hackers blew through SIX zero-days vulns last year alone

Thu, 20 Oct 2016 19:07:51 GMT

Most targets were individuals with Gmail addresses

Security researchers have shone fresh light on the allegedly Russian state-sponsored hacking crew blamed for ransacking the US Democratic National Committee's computers.…

Uni students float into Hyperloop finals with levitating prototype

Thu, 20 Oct 2016 18:57:59 GMT

Magnetic tech gives 14-foot-long tube a tiny lift

A team of students from the University of Cincinnati has passed through to the final round of Elon Musk's Hyperloop challenge by demonstrating the magnetic levitation of hover engines.…

Cheapest Apple iPhone 7's flash memory is waaaaay slower than pricier model

Thu, 20 Oct 2016 17:03:03 GMT

Your donation is insufficient. Please buy again

Apple is silently stiffing customers who don't spend enough on the latest iPhones.…

Boffins exploit Intel CPU weakness to run rings around code defenses

Thu, 20 Oct 2016 16:48:12 GMT

Branch buffer shortcoming allows hackers to reliably install malware on systems

US researchers have pinpointed a vulnerability in Intel chips – and possibly other processor families – that clears the way for circumventing a popular operating-system-level security control.…

EU legal eagle: Euro court should review Intel's €1.6bn fine

Thu, 20 Oct 2016 16:03:49 GMT

Chipzilla market share WAS overstated, claims Advocate General

An EU High Court Advocate General has recommended a review of the case that saw Intel slapped with a record fine after it was found to have coerced OEMs to avoid using rival companies' x86 CPUs.…