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Marc Andreessen has a pretty creepy relationship with Zuck

Sat, 10 Dec 2016 11:08:05 GMT

Pension funds sue Valley brohood, alleging conflicts of interest

Silicon Valley is very big on virtual reality right now. But imagine a VR “game” where you can control a company remotely, but without any of the fiduciary duty that the law places on a company executive, or an investor?…




Fatal flaw found in PricewaterhouseCoopers SAP security software

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 23:57:12 GMT

Instead of fixing the issue, PwC lawyered up

A security tool built for SAP systems by PricewaterhouseCoopers has turned out to have worrying security holes of its own.…




Russian hackers got Trump elected? Yeah, let's take a close look at that, says Obama

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 22:56:07 GMT

Amazingly, Donald has yet to tweet about 'Kremlin meddling'

President Obama has bowed to pressure and announced a formal investigation into Russian hacking aimed at influencing the recent presidential election.…




Remember that amazing video of the whale leaping out the gym floor and splashing down? Yeah, it was BS

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 22:29:11 GMT

Magic Leap is neither magic nor leaping

It was a shared "wow!" for millions across the globe: a video showing kids in a gym watching as a whale appeared to breach the floor, leap high in the air and come crashing down with water flying everywhere.…




Japanese robot space maid will sweep away Earth's dead satellites

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 22:03:26 GMT

Caretaker craft launched today in ISS cargo supply run

Vid Good news: the latest resupply mission to the International Space Station has taken off without exploding or any of that kind of nonsense.…




Samsung, the Angel of Death: Exploding Note 7 phones will be bricked

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 20:28:07 GMT

Execution by lethal code injection set for December 19 – unless you're on Verizon

Anyone still using a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 has ten days to return their device for a refund before Sammy kills the handset for good.…




'I found a bug that let anyone read anyone's Yahoo! Mail and all I got was this $10k check'

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 20:05:48 GMT

Sorry! Too! hungover! from! rum! eggnog! binging! to! shout! in! the! headline!

A security researcher says he bagged $10k after discovering and reporting a serious flaw in Yahoo! Mail that could have been exploited by crooks to read victims' messages.…




Busted Windows 8, 10 update blamed for breaking Brits' DHCP

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 19:52:31 GMT

BT, Plusnet subscribers told to reboot or use static IP addresses

Folks using Windows 10 and 8 on BT and Plusnet networks in the UK are being kicked offline by a mysterious software bug.…




Solar-powered LoRa IoT node: Nice idea but it won't replace batteries

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 16:55:25 GMT

Welsh firm G24 Power preps sensor tech for trial

A Welsh photovoltaics company has developed a solar-powered LoRa sensor node which it hopes will address current concerns about sensor battery life.…




Fancy that! Google was keen on 'draining the swamp' in 2013

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 15:45:08 GMT

But ad networks still power 'fake news'

Faced with a report showing Google’s advertising network allowed big brands' ad money to be spent funding criminal operations, Google welcomed initiatives to “drain the swamp” in 2013 - three and a half years ago.…




Hardware Labs sees off Nvidia trademark sueball-smasher in court

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 15:09:08 GMT

Letters from German lawyers don't mean a lawsuit in Blighty is on the cards

Nvidia’s attempt to nix an EU trademark infringement sueball by using the English courts has failed after a judge said a lawyer’s letter from Germany could not be regarded as a threat to sue in London.…




Governments 'one step behind' tech firms in tracking tax – Meg Hillier

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 13:58:09 GMT

Google's global servers make untangling tax arrangements hard

Companies like Google are harder to hold to account than average tax-avoiding businesses because local governments are technologically "always one step behind", chair of the Public Accounts Committee Meg Hillier said at the Global Tax Summit today.…




Brexflation hits Lenovo's Phab2

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 13:06:04 GMT

Brits to fork out more than US or Euro punters

Any prospective buyers in Britain wanting to slip a Lenovo Phab2 Pro into a loved one’s stocking this Chrimbo will have to dig deeper than folk in the US or mainland Europe, much deeper.…




The Dread Server BlackBerry Enterprise is no more

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 12:37:01 GMT

BlackBerry rebrands much-feared mail server

BES, the TLA that has struck trepidation into BOFHs for a decade, is no more. The brand name has been discarded in the biggest rationalisation of the company’s product lines in the company’s history.…




Ugh! Is that your security budget? *Sucks teeth and shakes head*

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 12:12:12 GMT

Gartner report says size can be misleading

Organisations spend an average of 5.6 per cent of their overall IT budget on IT security and risk management, according to analyst Gartner.…




Neo-Nazi man jailed for anti-Semitic Twitter campaign against MP

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 11:50:50 GMT

Jewish Labour member received barrage of 2,500 tweets over three days

A Somerset neo-Nazi with a history of sending false, malicious and racially abusive messages over the internet has been jailed for targeting a Jewish Labour MP.…




Has Samsung, er, rounded the corner with Apple court win?

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 11:02:09 GMT

Little ray of sunshine as Sammy recovers from Galaxy blows

Analysis Some good news has finally fallen the way of Samsung, as the Supreme Court has ruled in favour of the South Korean giant in its ongoing patent spat with Apple - scrapping a $399m damages bill in the latest episode of the hottest legal battle in tech, though certainly not the last.…




Shrinkage!? But it's sooo big! More data won't leave storage biz proud

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 10:00:12 GMT

Cold-water time for fancy pants players

Analysis The enterprise storage market is in a period of data growth according to IDC-forcasted zettabyte heaven, right? Er, no, because it's it entered a recessionary period, with negative growth. Says IDC.…




UK.gov state of the nation report: Infosec's very important, mmmkay

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 09:09:05 GMT

Gov Secure Internet to be revamped, world still on brink of digital destruction, etc etc

The UK government’s first annual report on the implementation of the 2015 National Security Strategy has reaffirmed that cyber-security remains a key priority.…




AI brains take a step closer to understanding speech just like humans

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 08:26:09 GMT

A thousand spoken words is worth a picture

Machine learning researchers are on a mission to make machines understand speech directly from audio input, like humans do.…




Chip biz Aixtron begs for help: Just let the Chinese eat me!

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 08:01:08 GMT

Semiconductor bods want Germany to lift roadblocks on acquisition

With its proposed acquisition by a Chinese investment group now having been shot down in two hemispheres, Aixtron is looking for government help to get another deal through.…




Moscow says writing infrastructure attack code is a thought crime

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 07:27:13 GMT

Bill suggests sending malware authors to the gulag archipelago

Malware writers whose wares are used by separate attackers to pop Russian national infrastructure could end up fined and in jail, if a new Russian bill become law.…




All aboard the warship that'll make you Sicker

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 07:02:14 GMT

New Royal Navy vessel's official motto is somewhat stomach-churning

The Royal Navy will receive two more River-class offshore patrol vessels – and the motto of one appears to encourage her crew to vomit everywhere.…




Sysadmin told to spend 20+ hours changing user names, for no reason

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 06:31:10 GMT

Apparently there's business value in turning 'John B Smith' into 'John Smith'

On-Call Welcome again to On-Call, our regular Friday morning foray into readers' stories of being asked to do the right thing, for the wrong reason, at unspeakable times.…




US think-tank wants IoT device design regulated, because security

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 06:03:13 GMT

If the world wants a bonk-detecting WiFi mattresses, it must be a malware-free bonk-detecting WiFi mattress

Washington DC think tank the Institute for Critical Infrastructure Technology is calling for regulation on "negligence" in the design of internet-of-things (IoT) devices.…




Expedia support tech raided his CFO to rack up insider trades

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 05:28:09 GMT

Used staffer creds, work laptop, to snoop on execs

Former Expedia worker Jonathan Ly has admitted to hacking his own chief financial officer and investor relations head to commit US$331,000 in insider stock-trading.…




Bluetooth 5.0 emerges, ready to chew on the internet of things

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 05:04:04 GMT

Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. Better … stronger … faster. And meshier, before long

The Bluetooth Special Interest Group (SIG) has officially adopted Bluetooth 5 as the standard's new specification.…




DSSD President quits Dell EMC

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 04:08:30 GMT

Bill Moore is no more team as Emerging Technologies loses another top exec

The Register's storage desk has learned that DSSD President Bill Moore has left Dell EMC.…




AT&T took too much money from customers, will pay them back by ... taking less money

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 03:02:12 GMT

US telco settles cramming suit with $80m payout in bill credits

AT&T will pay out $88m to settle an FTC complaint that it allowed excessive "cramming" charges on customer bills.…




Google found a way to go after 400 MEELLION new users this week

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 02:02:09 GMT

'Allo' Siri-and-Cortana competitor now speaks Hindi

Google this week added Hindi to the languages spoken by its "Allo" digital assistance service, the company's Siri-and-Cortana competitor.…




RIP John Glenn: First American in orbit – and later, the oldest, too

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 01:20:08 GMT

Last of the Mercury 7 crew passes on

Obit John Glenn, America's first man into orbit and the oldest person ever to make it into space, has died at the age of 95 after a short illness.…




My name's Jeff B and I'm here to say: Canada's getting an AWS region around the way

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 23:29:33 GMT

I said, honey, it's a perfect place to stash data from the N-S-A

If you're looking for somewhere to run your computing instances outside the Land of the FreeTM, then Amazon Web Services has an option for the Americas with its first Canada cloud computing region.…




Oi, you, no flirting, no touching in the back of our rides, sniffs Uber

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 23:12:33 GMT

Taxi app maker's stiff no-sex policy grows, thrusts rules in our faces amid Xmas party season

Flirting with an Uber driver could be enough to get you banned from the ride sharing service, according to revised Community Guidelines for US passengers and drivers, published by the company on Thursday.…




Latest loon for Trump's cabinet: Young-blood-loving, kidney-market advocate Jim O'Neill

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 22:47:17 GMT

President-elect considering friend of Thiel as FDA head

Having chosen a climate-change denier to head the US government's environment agency, an opponent of minimum wage for the Labor Department, a creationist for Education Secretary, a mine-owner for Commerce, and a wrestling exec to oversee small businesses – president-elect Donald Trump is now considering putting a man with very strange ideas about medicine as head of Uncle Sam's Food and Drug Administration.…




Say bye-bye to net neutrality next year, gloats FCC commish Pai

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 21:48:06 GMT

Promises to take 'weed wacker' to internet rules

In a speech to a right-wing think tank, FCC commissioner Ajit Pai explained how 2017 will be the year that net neutrality dies in the US, and that municipal networks can forget about existing as well.…




HBO slaps takedown demand on 13-year-old girl's painting because it used 'Winter is coming'

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 21:36:46 GMT

Shame of Thrones

Pic It turns out King Joffrey isn't the biggest scumbag at HBO after all.…




For God's sake, stop trying to make Microsoft Bob a thing. It's over

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 21:01:13 GMT

New Evo techno-goggles emerge for 3D virtual reality desktops

Vid Microsoft has entered the virtual reality race, announcing a new headset called Evo in collaboration with Intel.…




Real deal: Hackers steal steelmaker trade secrets

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 20:20:37 GMT

ThyssenKrupp acknowledges attack, claims defense is 'virtually impossible'

German steel maker ThyssenKrupp AG on Thursday said trade secrets were stolen in a cyber-attack earlier this year.…




If your Xmas party expenses left you with a hangover, you should see Dell's spending

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 19:53:27 GMT

Costs more than double, lobbing Big Mike into the red

If revenue growth is vanity but profits are sanity, then Dell EMC made something of an inauspicious start to life as one company: sales expansion was overshadowed by deepening losses.…




Trend Micro AV nukes innocent Sharepoint code, admins despair

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 19:14:19 GMT

Servers fall over after JavaScript file trashed by mistake

Trend Micro's antivirus software has flagged benign Sharepoint code as potentially malign and nuked the files, causing the Microsoft package to fall over.…




Revamped Cortana finally lands on UK mobe mass market

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 17:26:09 GMT

Android and iOS users get robo assistant

Microsoft’s ravenous, data hungry ‘personal assistant’ Cortana has arrived on iOS and Android in the UK, and the app has been revamped.…




US Congress seeks small claims track for copyright claims

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 17:16:34 GMT

Lawyers won't like this

The US Congress has published plans backed by both main US parties to reform the Copyright Office - and it wants your views. Amongst the proposals is a small claims track to make fighting The Man easier.…




China is building a full scale replica of the Titanic to repeatedly crash into iceberg

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 16:52:10 GMT

'All the original function is so incredible' – Peter Mandelson

A proposed Chinese theme park has started to build a full-sized replica of the Titanic so tourists can experience over and over again the moment which led to the deaths of 1,500 people – a project endorsed by New Labour minister Peter Mandelson.…




Earth days are getting longer – by 1.8 milliseconds per century

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 16:01:34 GMT

I thought it was getting dark later and later

We know the Earth’s rotation is slowing, hence leap seconds, but by how much? Now we have a new number: 1.8 milliseconds per day each century for the last 2,720 years.…




Who killed Pebble? Easy: The vulture capitalists

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 14:59:12 GMT

DIY hero made Faustian pact. Now his company is dead

Comment We just didn’t know it at the time, but Pebble’s fate was sealed in May 2013 when it surrendered control to outsiders who saddled it with debt.…




Reg readers vent their frustrations with AFA vendors

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 14:36:06 GMT

Not everything in the all-flash garden sparkles

As part of a recent survey we asked Register readers to give us some thoughts on a hot area in the storage world but with a slightly provocative edge, namely: “What frustrates you the most about how storage vendors sell their products, and are there any specific irritations in relation to all-flash in particular?”…




US commission whistles to FIDO: Help end ID-based hacks by 2021

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 14:04:06 GMT

No breaches should result from compromised identities, say gov bods

A White House commission on improving cybersecurity has come up with a list of recommendations for US president-elect Donald Trump’s administration – including a target for no big hacks to involve identity-based compromises.…




Capita: 2,250 jobs cut, more offshoring, more robots... Merry Xmas!

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 13:44:44 GMT

Tech titan searches for corporate soul, discovers it hasn't got one

Troubled outsourcing giant Capita is reacting to a post-Brexit slowdown by confirming it will axe roughly 2,250 staff, which includes sending more jobs to India and using robots to automate certain parts of the operation.…




Mirai variant turns TalkTalk routers into zombie botnet agents

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 13:03:08 GMT

Infosec folk spot web of compromised British devices

Hundreds of Mirai-infected home routers across the UK are currently acting as DDoS bots.…




90 per cent of the UK's NHS is STILL relying on Windows XP

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 12:34:09 GMT

And a load of them say they'll keep using it in 2017

The NHS is still running Windows XP en masse, two and a half years after Microsoft stopped delivering bug fixes and security updates.…