2017-04-25T15:51:21+00:00submitted by /u/TooMuchPants to r/Showerthoughts
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2017-04-25T12:49:35+00:00submitted by /u/Quiglius to r/news
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2017-04-25T10:52:27+00:00submitted by /u/bitoffreshair to r/worldnews
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A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Larry says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson
"And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Larry's whore"
2017-04-25T11:16:10+00:00submitted by /u/thedestructionofego to r/AskReddit
2017-04-25T13:00:17+00:00My name is Justin Cooke, I am the co-founder of Empire Flippers where we help others buy, sell, and invest in online businesses. Along with my business partner, Joe Magnotti, we started building and selling our own websites back in 2009-2010, but eventually pivoted to a brokerage & marketplace where we bring together sellers, buyers, and investors to close deals. The company has grown quite a bit in the last few years - from $200K in sales in 2012 to nearly $10M in 2016 - enough to get us listed at #161 on the INC 5000 list. To date, we’ve helped broker more than $22M in online business sales and are on track to do around $18 - 20M in 2017. We are a US based company, but run our business from SE Asia and we’ve grown our team by hiring “apprentices” and bringing them halfway around the world to join us. As they grow they become part of our core team. Our management team is technically “location independent”, but we all get together every 3-4 months to spend a month working together. Our current get together is happening right now in Saigon, Vietnam. We just hired 4 new apprentices and are experiencing one of the biggest months in the company’s history with over $3 Million in online businesses sold. I’m a fan of Reddit and the /r/IAmA sub, so I’m really hoping to provide value and give back to the community. We broker almost every type of online business (Adsense, Amazon Affiliate, FBA, E-commerce, Private Affiliate, iOS apps, SaaS, etc.) and have seen thousands of unique and successful businesses. You can read more about the 11 most popular type of online business models here: https://empireflippers.com/11-popular-business-models-online/ Feel free to AMA about buying, selling or investing in online businesses, building management teams, starting a podcast, growing our business, interesting niches, living/working remotely, or anything else! Proof: Twitter Shopify Previous AMA Edit 1: Holy S***! - thanks for all the questions/comments/love - You all are awesome and the questions have been extremely interesting to answer- keep them coming! Sorry I haven't gotten to DM’s yet - I am going try to get to those tomorrow and focus on answering as many comments as I can today. For anyone curious about selling, but wondering how much your site is worth, we've created this Valuation Tool. It will give you a "rough" estimate, but we actually use this to list/price the businesses with us, so it's pretty accurate. If you know you're ready to sell, you can submit your site for sale with us here. If you're wondering what types of business we have listed for sale, you can check out our marketplace and review the businesses we have for sale. Edit #2 Quite a bit of our business success was due to creating high quality content that educates and expands our industry which is why we LOVE doing things like this - we really enjoy interacting with everyone here. I hope you're digging it as well. Getting quite a few in-depth questions that we've covered elsewhere. For people really looking to find out more about entrepreneurship, our apprentice model, and our thoughts on business in general, feel free to check out The Empire Podcast here (Listen on our site, on iTunes, on Stitcher, etc.) It's our not-so-weekly show that I think you might dig. submitted by /u/jwcooke to r/IAmA [link] [comments][...]
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Throw away because my friends know my main account. I'm sure they'll hear about this at some point, but right now I really don't want to deal with being the butt of their jokes.
Anyway, I'm moving countries and have been selling my stuff in this last week. Today I sold the final item on our list of things to sell (apart from the car), to someone and offered to drive it to them because they couldn't fit it in their own.
I get paid and put the cash in my wallet with the rest of the cash from literally everything else we sold and headed home.
On my way back, there was a car stopped in the middle of a 2 lane/2 way road with a lady running around around her car, throwing her hands up in the air and looking quite helpless. I stick my head out the window and asked if she needed any help and it turns out that there's an injured pigeon on the road and she was trying to catch it to get it out of harms way.
I get out and chase the pigeon, caught the little guy, and walked him out to a little area where I knew he'd be safe and went back on my way.
When I got home, I realize that my wallet wasn't in my pocket. No Biggie, I must have left it in the car.
I'm not really sure what happened, but I'm guessing I must have left the thing on my lap or something, got out and lost it there, but I could not find it when I went back. Nearly $6,700 down the drain.
Maybe my fuck up was waiting until I sold everything before I put it into my bank account, or not just putting it in a fucking sock or something. Either way, I basically lost the earnings for everything I owned to this goddamn pigeon.
I hope that pigeon lives to be fat and plump because if I hear that a cat got him, it would have all been for nothing.
TLDR: I sold everything in my house and got absolutely nothing for it because I lost my wallet whilst rescuing a fucking pigeon
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2017-04-25T11:20:40+00:00submitted by /u/flusterer to r/explainlikeimfive
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