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Reports: Jeb And Jeets Got The Marlins

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 19:51:00 GMT

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According to multiple reports, the ownership group led by Derek Jeter and Jeb Bush has submitted the winning bid to purchase the Miami Marlins from disgusting rich person Jeffrey Loria.

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Blizzard has announced Overwatch’s D.Va will join Heroes of the Storm, and she’ll be a Warrior class

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 18:50:00 GMT

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Blizzard has announced Overwatch’s D.Va will join Heroes of the Storm, and she’ll be a Warrior class. Here’s the new cinematic featuring D.Va fighting alongside fellow Overwatch fighter Genji. Both appear as part of the Heroes of the Storm 2.0 update rolling out today and tomorrow.

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Report: Maria Sharapova Won't Get A Wild Card For The French Open

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 19:35:00 GMT

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How will women’s tennis welcome back Maria Sharapova—formerly its richest star, if not its most successful—after her 15-month ban for breaking its doping rules, however absurd those might be? Her return was bound to be messy. Because all of Sharapova’s ranking points dissolved during her absence from the tour, she’s…

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You're Invited To Take On Some Fighting Game Pros In New York City

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 18:12:00 GMT

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How’s your standing fierce? Your parries and counters? More importantly, do you think you can beat a fighting game pro in Street Fighter V? You can try at our offices in New York City on Saturday, May 13.

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Which TV Shows Have The Most People Boned To?

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 18:35:00 GMT

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Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering eating aliens, identity crises, bandwagon fans, and more. 

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Lodge's 15" Paella Skillet Is the Perfect Pan For the Perfect Food

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 16:44:39 GMT

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There may be no better way to spend a Sunday than killing a bottle of wine while leisurely making a big-ass paella to share, but the experience isn’t complete without an honest-to-goodness paella pan. Luckily, Lodge makes a heavy duty carbon steel model that’ll work on pretty much any cooking surface, and with a few…

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USGA Finally Changes Rules To Thwart Snitching TV Viewers 

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 17:40:00 GMT

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One of the weakest things to happen in sports this year was Lexi Thompson losing an LPGA major because some asshole who was watching the tournament at home tattled on her for placing a ball no more than an inch away from where she had previously marked it.

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The Wizards Have The Saddest Problem

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 16:53:00 GMT

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The Washington Wizards have, in John Wall, the best player—by a mile!—in their playoff series against the Atlanta Hawks. At pretty much any given moment, they have the better player at three of the five positions on the court. They have home-court advantage. And they’re in grave trouble, at least in large part…

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Yakov Smirnoff, America's Secret Weapon In The Cold War, Is Still Laughing

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 16:24:00 GMT

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The National Security Advisor gets bounced for covert dealings with a Russian ambassador, then the Pentagon announces that Russian fighter jets recently buzzed a U.S. destroyer in the Black Sea, and reports come out that the Kremlin has begun testing cruise missiles in utter disregard of a bilateral arms control…

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Jason Heyward's New Swing Seems To Be Working

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 16:02:00 GMT

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Cubs outfielder Jason Heyward has mashed three home runs in his last four games, a feat that would have been unthinkable during his miserable 2016 season.

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NFL Draft Prospect Gareon Conley Accused Of Sexual Assault [Update]

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 15:14:00 GMT

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A player who is expected to go in the first round of Thursday’s NFL draft has been accused of sexual assault, according to Cleveland 19 News. But this is a weird one: The station is not naming the player, despite having a statement from his attorney, because the cops are dragging their feet on filing a police report.

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Indiana's New Policy On Violent Athletes Is Useless And Joe Mixon Is The Proof

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 15:02:00 GMT

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In a few days Joe Mixon will hear his name called, join his new NFL team, and smile as dozens of publicists set about selling the story of how football—glorious, all-American football—is giving Mixon a second chance at becoming a new and better man. There is, of course, no way of knowing if that’s true. Only Mixon and…

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Look At Giannis

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 14:41:00 GMT

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Images of Giannis Antetokounmpo dunking the ball are often paired with breathless references to Inspector Gadget/Mr. Fantastic/MJ in Space Jam/Stretch Armstrong, to call attention to his lengthy tentacles. But have you considered the possibility that those tentacles look just as wild when he’s just standing there,…

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Jim Harbaugh Sure Enjoyed Himself On His Big Italian Vacation

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 14:03:00 GMT

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Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Wolverines went to Rome for reasons that are unknown and uninteresting to me. What I am interested in are the various images of Jim Harbaugh enjoying his vacay that have been shared on social media.

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NASCAR's Favorite Son Dale Earnhardt Jr. Is Retiring After 2017

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 13:19:00 GMT

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Hendrick Motorsports announced today that ultra-popular NASCAR Cup Series driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. will be retiring after the 2017 season. Earnhardt is one of the series’ consistently most high-profile drivers, but recently had to sit out much of last season due to a concussion.

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The Saints Have The Right Offense For Adrian Peterson

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 13:07:00 GMT

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Adrian Peterson’s long exile has ended in New Orleans. After trying very hard to drum up interest—and finding few takers—the former greatest running back in the world will find himself in a timeshare, on a relatively cheap contract. It can’t be what Peterson was hoping to sign, but from a pure football perspective, if…

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Get Your Khakis (and More) During Amazon's One-Day Dockers Sale

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 12:33:00 GMT

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Who doesn’t like saving money on their khakis (I bet Jake from Statefarm does)? Amazon is knocking down prices on tons of pants, shoes, accessories, and more from Dockers, today only. You could end up with an entire outfit for half of what you’d normally pay, but these prices are a 24-hour thing, so don’t wait.

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D'Onta Foreman Shares Heartbreaking Story Of His Infant Son's Death

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 04:37:00 GMT

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Texas running back D’Onta Foreman had a tremendous season on the field for the Longhorns last year, rushing for 2,028 yards, scoring 15 touchdowns, and winning the Doak Walker award for best running back in the nation. Off the field, he suffered a tremendous loss.

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NFL Players Strike a Deal to Sell Their Biometric Data

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 03:45:52 GMT

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Quietly flying under the radar in the fitness wearables market is Whoop, a manufacturer of high-end wrist-worn straps that measure data 100 times per second. In what could turn out to be one of the more bizarre licensing agreements ever, the startup struck a deal with the NFL Players Association today that will make…

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Yasiel Puig Absolutely Snipes Brandon Belt At Home

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 03:47:00 GMT

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After Buster Posey smacked a hard grounder to right field, Dodgers defensive marvel Yasiel Puig launched this throw from the outfield, somehow zinging it straight into the glove of catcher Yasmani Grandal in time to cut down Brandon Belt, who was trying to score from second. Puig’s cannon ended the first inning and…

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Holy Shit, That Warriors First Quarter

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 03:30:00 GMT

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When the Warriors are hot, there’s nothing you can do. No other team so gleefully tosses their opponents in the trash and sets that trash on fire as the Warriors, and no Warriors run this playoffs has been as violent or as thorough as the incredible first quarter they put together tonight in Portland. They scored the…

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The Raptors Finally Played Like A Team Worth Being Afraid Of

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 02:37:00 GMT

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While the gates of the Eastern Conference are not exactly wide open, LeBron James’s chokehold on conference supremacy is as weak as it’s been in many years. The Cavaliers’ defense is worryingly porous and even though they just swept the Pacers, the series featured multiple blown leads and every game was close. Most…

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