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Sutton United Uses Outfield Player In Goal Days After Backup Goalkeeper Resigned Over Sideline Pie-Eating

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:45:00 GMT

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Sutton United has had a hell of a week. The fifth-division club’s Cinderella run through the FA Cup came to an end; the loss that knocked them out of the tournament involved their large adult backup goalkeeper Wayne Shaw eating a pie on the sidelines, which led to a gambling probe, which led to Shaw’s resignation.

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I Have Conquered The Meaty Cheese Dip

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:30:00 GMT

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Recently, I had a specific hankering. A hankering for piling delicious meaty cheese dip onto tortilla chips and ramming them into my face. This is the kind of hankering a fundamentally depraved sort of person has when left alone in a home for more than a couple hours: a dark degradation into self-destruction, taking…

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Kansas's Josh Jackson Charged For Allegedly Kicking The Car Of Women's Basketball Player

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:10:00 GMT

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Kansas star forward and future lottery pick Josh Jackson was charged with criminal damage to property on Friday. The misdemeanor charge is for cases under $1,000-worth of damage, and can call for a six-month jail sentence.

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Surprise Marine Flank Secures Win In Global StarCraft II League Quarterfinals

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:00:00 GMT

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Siege tanks can’t hit flying units, a fact Cho “Maru” Seong Ju was reminded of in last night’s Global StarCraft II League Code S match against Kim “Ryung” Dong Won.

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USF Forgot, Left Behind Two Players Who Fell Asleep At The Airport

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 15:27:00 GMT

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After losing to Tulsa on Thursday night, the USF men’s basketball team headed home to Tampa the next morning. There was just one problem—two players fell asleep at the airport, and no one noticed they weren’t on the plane until it was too late according to The Daily Stampede.

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It's Better To Be Lucky Than Good

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 15:22:13 GMT

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Craig Dawson brought West Brom back equal by carefully exerting mind control over Bournemouth’s Charlie Daniels in order to create a wonderfully-bending deflection goal. He should use that superpower more often.

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Get Yourself a Chromebook For Under $150, Today Only 

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 13:36:00 GMT

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We all know Chromebooks are inexpensive, but this one’s approaching impulse buy territory.

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Look At What They Did To My Boy

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 05:50:27 GMT

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Have something you think we should know? Email us at tips@deadspin.com, call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!

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NASCAR Truck Race Ends The Way It Started: With Huge Wreck

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 03:09:01 GMT

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Stop me if you’ve heard this one: a massive wreck at the end of a NASCAR race at Daytona. It happened in tonight’s truck race—the same one that had another Big One right after the first lap.

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Sixers Broadcast Roughly As Dysfunctional As Sixers Team

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 01:33:10 GMT

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A power blip in Philadelphia tonight left Comcast SportsNet a bit baffled as hosts blathered amongst themselves about what was happening, going almost a full minute before realizing that they were live on the air—teaching us all that The Process is not automated.

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NASCAR Trucks Make It Exactly One Lap Before Huge Wreck

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 01:09:20 GMT

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Tonight’s NASCAR truck race at Daytona knocked out seven drivers after just one lap in an incident that brought the typical superspeedway mayhem to fans a little earlier than anyone might have expected.

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Pro Golfer Shawn Stefani Strips Down And Takes Shot In Nothing But His Underwear

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 00:57:07 GMT

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Being a professional is about always showing up to work and being prepared to get naked if the job calls for it, which it occasionally does. Shawn Stefani hit into a water hazard fully clothed and got out of it in just his briefs.

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Overwatch Pro Makes Exquisite Last-Second Recovery With Winston's Jump Pack

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 00:10:00 GMT

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South Korean Overwatch pro Miro is probably the best Winston player in the world. His deft tank work helped South Korea win the first Overwatch World Cup and he took home personal tournament MVP honors as well. If you want a highlight reel of his best moments, well here you go.

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Uber Is Doomed

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 17:27:00 GMT

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If there is one quote that sums up the ethos of Uber, it might be this cut from the company’s firebrand CEO Travis Kalanick: “Stand by your principles and be comfortable with confrontation. So few people are, so when the people with the red tape come, it becomes a negotiation.” But after a month marked by one disaster…

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Kevin Durant And The Warriors Are Fed Up With Shaq's Troll Act [Update]

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 22:45:00 GMT

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Shaquille O’Neal and Warriors center JaVale McGee, who are perpetually beefing over McGee’s appearances on Shaqtin’ A Fool, spent the wee hours of the morning arguing on Twitter. This afternoon, the more prominent members of the Warriors came to McGee’s defense, while the team reportedly complained to Turner Sports…

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Protesting Sells ... But Who's Buying?

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 22:24:00 GMT

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Every reporter has a patter for talking to people in a crowd. I start with a nakedly aggressive challenge—usually questioning or condemning their parentage. Alternatively, if they are bigger than I am, I say “gimme a dollar” and see if they comply. It tells me they’re easily cowed.

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Deadspin Up All Night: I've Been Waiting Here Forever

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 22:14:00 GMT

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Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Go set the weekend ablaze.

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Thiem's Tweener Was A Winner

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 22:05:00 GMT

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Dominic Thiem breezily dismissed Diego Schwartzman in today’s 6-2, 6-3 quarterfinal at the Rio Open, and the highlight was this tweener that he slapped down the line for a winner:

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The Price Of Admission To The Panda Habitat Is Your Blood

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 20:52:04 GMT

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Some clown in China thought it would be a good idea for him to stroll into a panda habitat and disturb the sleeping bear within it. Unfortunately for this jagoff, his host had only pain to offer as a greeting.

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No, Paying NCAA Athletes Won't Cost Them Money

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 20:38:00 GMT

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Few things get me as angry as seeing people oppose a reform because of unrealistic concerns about imaginary unforeseen consequences. Pick a problem and propose some way to make it better, and some concern troll will immediately pop out from behind a curtain to say that there is some remote chance of chaos and so it’s…

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Who Are The Two Most Famous Athletes To Share A Name?

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 20:17:00 GMT

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Do you think that when Isaiah Thomas’s dad decided to name him after Isiah Thomas (prompted by a bet), he ever thought his son would actually grow up to make it to the NBA? It’s a nice story, but it always leads me to double- and triple-check how to spell the name of the active player in Boston.

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Does Richard Spencer Dress Like Shit? A Bespoke Tailor Evaluates

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 15:45:00 GMT

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Yesterday, besuited Nazi Richard Spencer got kicked out of CPAC for his “repugnant” views, which a CPAC spokesman claimed have “nothing to do with conservatism or what we do here.” Shortly prior to this, Spencer called a heckler “a moron who can’t dress.” Can Richard Spencer dress, though? Seems like maybe not?

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The IAAF Seeks To Restrict The Market For African Runners

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 20:00:00 GMT

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Kenya-born Yasemin Can and Meryem Akda, competing for Turkey, won gold and silver respectively at the 2016 European Cross Country Championships in November. The Irish Independent wrote that Ireland’s Fionnuala McCormack, who finished fifth, was “denied” a medal by the naturalized Turks, and Irish running icon Sonia…

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