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The Polyamorous Misanthrope

Wielding the Stick of Grandmotherly Kindness

Last Build Date: Wed, 01 Feb 2017 13:00:26 +0000


Closeted and Grief

Wed, 01 Feb 2017 13:00:26 +0000

I got a letter recently from a person in a polyamorous relationship who had lost a partner. Due to financial considerations, the relationship was closeted. This is probably one of the biggest reasons I want to see polyamory as an open and accepted relationship form without repercussions. There’s not much more tragic than losing a […]

Monogamy is not Weakness

Wed, 25 Jan 2017 12:00:01 +0000

I was asked to answer question in an online forum and I could not resist making it a column. Is wanting monogamy a sign of insecurity or weakness? Is wanting to be in a monogamous relationship not only unrealistic but a sign of low self esteem and fear of abandonment or is wanting and striving […]

You Have Rights in Relationships

Wed, 18 Jan 2017 12:00:41 +0000

I’d like to ask your advice – I am having some trouble getting over a break up and wondering how to move forward. Basically, I was seeing a guy for a few months. We had spoken the first time we saw each other about our other lovers, and I understood he had a Domme he […]

Polyamorous and Scared

Wed, 11 Jan 2017 13:00:12 +0000

I wanted to ask you this because it’s been on my mind and I have no idea who I can talk about this to understand it better. As I read your post where you don’t have to be in a Poly Relationship if you don’t want to (which was great.) And while reading I strolled […]

The Commitment of Sharing a Calendar in Polyamory

Wed, 04 Jan 2017 13:00:11 +0000

I was recently asked how much of a commitment was it when a partner asked to share Google Calendars. They’d only been dating a few months, and the partner had said that they wanted to take the relationship to another level. I am even tempted to add the Dave Barry caveat of “We swear we […]

Polyamory and Focused Attention

Wed, 21 Dec 2016 14:00:33 +0000

My husband of 22 years has fallen in love with another woman and wants to spend one week a month with her in another state. After 2 years of therapy and a trial separation I am determined to stay married and to make this all work. I accept he loves another woman. What I am […]

Six Rules for Difficult Conversations

Wed, 14 Dec 2016 13:00:10 +0000

Even in the best of relationships, sometimes you’ll need to have a difficult conversation. Maybe you need to tell a partner something you are pretty sure they’re not going to like very much. Maybe you need to bring up a subject that, even if you’re going to get emotional support, still kind of throws you […]

Le Cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point

Wed, 07 Dec 2016 12:00:05 +0000

Recently, I was asked (among other people) to answer were some pros and cons were of an open relationship. This sent me into sheer, blank system error. Being poly was not a choice for me. Once I was exposed to the idea that people could even have multiple relationships, it just… clicked as “right” somehow. […]

Know Thyself

Wed, 23 Nov 2016 14:36:48 +0000

Last week, we talked about the fact that for polyamory to be successful, self-knowledge is crucial. Of course, that was something of a mis-statement. To have successful relationships in general, self-knowledge is crucial. I’d say one of the biggest problems in dealing with self-knowledge is the simple fact that we are presented with A Good […]

Three Reasons Why Self-Knowledge is Crucial in Polyamory*

Wed, 16 Nov 2016 14:00:32 +0000

While bad boundaries are certainly the worst issue I see when we’re looking at polyamorous issues, I think poor self-knowledge is also another serious roadblock when you’re trying to have great polyamorous relationships. My blog, and several others, tend to hammer away at things like being honest about your feelings, learning to communicate well and […]