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The Polyamorous Misanthrope



Wielding the Stick of Grandmotherly Kindness



Last Build Date: Sun, 01 Oct 2017 21:48:00 +0000

 



Three Sure-Fire Ways to Build Trust in Polyamorous Relationships

Sun, 01 Oct 2017 21:41:45 +0000

I’ve read a few comments from some people going polyamorous lately — specifically people whose partners are starting new relationships, and I am noticing a trend that is so very easily fixable that I just have to write an article about it. You see, they agree to something, then they tie themselves in knots to […]



Polyamory Can’t Come from Cheating

Sun, 14 May 2017 15:14:18 +0000

I’ve been getting several letters that looks like this lately: Dear Polyamorous Misanthrope, My husband has had an affair and now wants to have a polyamorous relationship. She is pregnant, and wants him to live with her. How do I get over my jealousy and stop being so inadequate as a wife? Any poly person […]



Closeted and Grief

Wed, 01 Feb 2017 13:00:26 +0000

I got a letter recently from a person in a polyamorous relationship who had lost a partner. Due to financial considerations, the relationship was closeted. This is probably one of the biggest reasons I want to see polyamory as an open and accepted relationship form without repercussions. There’s not much more tragic than losing a […]



Monogamy is not Weakness

Wed, 25 Jan 2017 12:00:01 +0000

I was asked to answer question in an online forum and I could not resist making it a column. Is wanting monogamy a sign of insecurity or weakness? Is wanting to be in a monogamous relationship not only unrealistic but a sign of low self esteem and fear of abandonment or is wanting and striving […]



You Have Rights in Relationships

Wed, 18 Jan 2017 12:00:41 +0000

I’d like to ask your advice – I am having some trouble getting over a break up and wondering how to move forward. Basically, I was seeing a guy for a few months. We had spoken the first time we saw each other about our other lovers, and I understood he had a Domme he […]



Polyamorous and Scared

Wed, 11 Jan 2017 13:00:12 +0000

I wanted to ask you this because it’s been on my mind and I have no idea who I can talk about this to understand it better. As I read your post where you don’t have to be in a Poly Relationship if you don’t want to (which was great.) And while reading I strolled […]



The Commitment of Sharing a Calendar in Polyamory

Wed, 04 Jan 2017 13:00:11 +0000

I was recently asked how much of a commitment was it when a partner asked to share Google Calendars. They’d only been dating a few months, and the partner had said that they wanted to take the relationship to another level. I am even tempted to add the Dave Barry caveat of “We swear we […]



Polyamory and Focused Attention

Wed, 21 Dec 2016 14:00:33 +0000

My husband of 22 years has fallen in love with another woman and wants to spend one week a month with her in another state. After 2 years of therapy and a trial separation I am determined to stay married and to make this all work. I accept he loves another woman. What I am […]



Six Rules for Difficult Conversations

Wed, 14 Dec 2016 13:00:10 +0000

Even in the best of relationships, sometimes you’ll need to have a difficult conversation. Maybe you need to tell a partner something you are pretty sure they’re not going to like very much. Maybe you need to bring up a subject that, even if you’re going to get emotional support, still kind of throws you […]



Le Cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point

Wed, 07 Dec 2016 12:00:05 +0000

Recently, I was asked (among other people) to answer were some pros and cons were of an open relationship. This sent me into sheer, blank system error. Being poly was not a choice for me. Once I was exposed to the idea that people could even have multiple relationships, it just… clicked as “right” somehow. […]