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American Lament





Last Build Date: Mon, 06 Jun 2016 18:56:21 +0000

 



E.T., Go HomeStephen

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 01:55:08 +0000

Recently, astrophysicist Stephen Hawking–while he wasn’t just sitting there being smarter than I’ll ever be if I ever replicated myself a thousand times and actually got around to learning how to use an RSS feed–lamented that, despite the misguided efforts of many of our countrymen, it may not be the wisest decision to contact alien […](image)


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Geek ChicStephen

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 03:14:57 +0000

It’s no big surprise that nerds are taking over the universe. This, of course, is something that has been a long time coming. Most of us knew, deep in our hearts, that eventually the smart folks would be in charge. However, a lot of us assumed that Type A personality salesmen and that high school […](image)


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Kiss Toyota Good MorningStephen

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 02:33:45 +0000

The recent troubles that Toyota has been having seems to be a harbinger for the auto industry as a whole. Cars that careen out of control when you’re at a full stop at a four-way intersection tends to be a bit of a hard sell. But give the history of the auto industry, it may […](image)


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The End of the World as We Know ItStephen

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 23:57:01 +0000

Sometimes in the slow evenings of my existence I think about the end of the world. Now, granted, this usually occurs when I’m watching either the History Channel or Jersey Shore, either of which are exceptional candidates for finding out how, and hoping for, respectively, the end of the world. But in thinking about it […](image)


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Lions and Tofurkeys and Bores, Oh My!Stephen

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 21:20:37 +0000

It’s Thanksgiving again, and as it is every year, families join together to spend four to ten awkward hours trying to avoid eye contact while eating enough to feed the Sudanese army without remorse. And while it’s a beautiful time of year, it’s also a time to reflect on those traditions that make this the […](image)


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There Will Be BloodStephen

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 01:06:06 +0000

In case you hadn’t heard, the film adaptation of Stephanie Meyer’s vampire slash young adult romance series, Twilight, hits theaters soon. If you hadn’t heard, of course, you’re most likely already dead and have become a vampire, thirsting for blood, violence, and an endorsement deal with the Burger King. Of course, those of you who […](image)


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Lessons LearnedStephen

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 04:16:49 +0000

Reporters secretly hate election day. Or, more appropriately, they hate the waiting on Election Day. It may have been somewhat exciting in 2000 or 2004, when the fate of the election dragged endlessly on, and people on both ideological sides waited with eager anticipation as to the outcome. This year, of course, the outcome was […](image)


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Decision 2008: The Long, Painful Road To Something That Will Only Slightly Change How Things Will Work In WashingtonStephen

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 07:14:06 +0000

Finally, in an election season that started in what seems to be around 1792, the voters will choose the next President. Both candidates are making their last minute pitches to the American public. Despite what the polls say, there is a rather significant number of individuals who are still undecided—greater than the margin of error, […](image)


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Swing State ConfidentialStephen

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 01:11:07 +0000

It’s late in the campaign season, which means it’s time to start crunching the numbers. While the election has the potential to be close, it’s important to look at those states that could go either way. These are the states that the candidates are focusing on, campaigning hard for, and, most importantly in the world […](image)


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Who’s Your Daddy?Stephen

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 05:16:23 +0000

I think I may be slowly changing my mind on my position about how much I like sharks. Okay, I “like” sharks in the sense that I like them swimming about on my television set, and then only briefly. They seem inherently menacing, like bears or Dennis Rodman, and so a little bit of them […](image)


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