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Preview: Weird voicemails

Weird voicemails



A list of voicemails (Weird Category)



 



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Listen to: Voicemail
Greetings Earthlings, I am an extra terrestrial from the planet Hmhuumugh.....



Listen to: Voicemail
As the drugs take hold, you'll feel like you're losing your grip on reality.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hi Is Kevin there ....oh...you called me....oh...ok....well....erm...Leave a message.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hi, we're sorry that we can't answer the phone right now, please leave a message and then wait by your phone until someone calls you back .....



Listen to: Voicemail
German Accent "Ja, hello. please leave your name and number after ze tone.."



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, you've reached an answerperson, I don't get paid to respond but anything you say after the tone will be memorised to the best of my.........thingamy.....



Listen to: Voicemail
We interrupt this phone call to advise you of an important development. Please stand by. THIS WAS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY VOICEMAIL TELEPHONE SYSTEM. HAD IT BEEN A REAL EMERGENCY, YOUR CALL WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN INTERRUPTED........



Listen to: Voicemail
FOXTROT, LIMA, ALPHA, SIERRA, HOTEL. Key destruct sequence now. This terminal also accepts voice messages.....



Listen to: Voicemail
You're growing tired, your eyelids are getting heavy, you feel very sleepy now.....



Listen to: Voicemail
WARNING, WARNING, WARNING, This voicemail system has a very short attention span and it will hang up on your if you leave a message that is boring....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, we're not home right now but I can take a message, hang on, I'll just get a pencil. Crashing sound oh sht....ok, shoot



Listen to: Voicemail
Greetings, I am a fully integrated, state of the art, digitally enhanced voicemail unit........



Listen to: Voicemail
FOUR ALPHA, TEST...OF...SOFTWARE. Revision 2.1. Counting down to test 3...2...1.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello and welcome to the multiple choice voicemail greeting system. We cannot take your call at the moment because A We are surfing the internet B We're on another call or C.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hi, you've reached Susans message parlour.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Duh, helloooo. If you're calling with bad news please leave your message now, if you're calling with good news then please wait for the tone



Listen to: Voicemail
Err, Hello, I'm not here right now because tonight I start serving a 30 year term in the State Department of corrections for politically incorrect statements........



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, I'm sorry, you'vr reached an imaginary number, please rotate your equipment by 90 degrees and try your call again.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Ah hello, we are home right now but we can't answer the phone.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, you've reached the Post Office. After the tone, please write a letter and allow 4 to 6 weeks for us to get back to you.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hi and thanks for calling during our spring pledge drive. A basic membership is only 30.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Ahh hello there He went out for 15 minutes half an hour ago and he won't be back for 2 hours........



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, I'm unable to take your call in person because I'm having an out of body experience, in fact, I am stood right behind you.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello..we..can't..get..to..your..call..right..now.........



Listen to: Voicemail
Vacuum cleaner sound Oooh hello, yes, we are just out getting a new cockatoo .....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, errr, we must be having some technical difficulties.....



Listen to: Voicemail
After the tone please leave your name, number, where you live and where you left the money........



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, I don't have a lot of rapour with anything that I can't reason with.....



Listen to: Voicemail
You have reached the CPX 2002 voice blackmail system. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and being stored.........



Listen to: Voicemail
Hi, this is Johan advising you that you spend way too much time on the phone. Go outside...See the world...Live a little...have fun .....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, err, what I am saying....There is no one here...Well, there is but not as I speak.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Yaaa, hello there, please don't adjust your telephone, we have taken control........



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello and thanks for calling but we really couldn't come to terms with the fact that the phone was ringing.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Yeah, hi. These folks recorded this stupid thing for the phone.......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hey Hi, I'm pretending that I'm marooned on a desert island with Linda Carter, Sharon Stone and Rachel Hunter. Since I don't have a phone here, you could leave me a message in a bottle after the beep .....



Listen to: Voicemail
Splashing water sound Hi, I can't get to the phone right now as I am a bit tied up with this Crocodile.....



Listen to: Voicemail
XFiles Music Hi, We've all been captured by a flying saucer.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Goodday passengers, welcome to flight 416 flying non stop to the beep.Please store all messages in the overhead mailbox provided.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Gunfire in background Hello, we're a little pinned down right now.......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, please leave message after smoke signal .....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hi, we can't come to the phone right now because we're down in the basement printing off a batch of 20 bills if you need any money or you just want to admire our handywork please leave your name and number and how much cash you need.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Horse Racing And they're off...It's nobody can take your call jumping into an early lead, followed by leave your message after the tone......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, you know, being reicarnated as a voicemail machine is de pits.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hey Hi, can you help me...please Can you help me I'm stuck down here in the phone.......



Listen to: Voicemail
GONG Herro, We no home, but if you weave message we call you soon, if you leave sexy message, we call you sooner.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Ah yeah, hi. We're still not back from our journey into cyberspace.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Well hello there brothers and sisters and thank y'all for calling here......



Listen to: Voicemail
Waltzing Matilda in background Well G'day, how ya goin' Listen, I'm not here right now, but I'll tell ya what, this voicemail recorder thingy here is so clever.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Scottish accent Hello, are you calling me Sure, I'm just leaving the house.......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hi, we're still not back from our journey into cyberspace .....



Listen to: Voicemail
Man drowning in water. Other man "What he's trying to say is there's noone here to take your call right now.."



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, you know they say that its better to give someone a net and to teach them to fish than it is to just give them a fish, so I'm on the net now, learning how to fish......



Listen to: Voicemail
Beer festival Ja hello, these people having so much fun drinking de beer.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Tminus 10 9 8.....You have reached strategic air command nuclear missile storage facilty....



Listen to: Voicemail
Gagged woman Man Hello, I'm sorry but nobody here can come to the phone right now as they are all tied up.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Errr, hello, we cannot come to the phone right now.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Oh hello, I cannot take your call right now cos I'm out getting my ankles tattooed......



Listen to: Voicemail
Fun in bed Hi, my wife and I can't get to the phone right now but if you leave your name and number, we'll get back to yoooooooooooooooooooou .....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, look, I'm sorry but I'm far too depressed to come to the phone .......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, the number you are calling from has been traced and your details forwarded to an online spam centre called badsexgirls.com .....



Listen to: Voicemail
Cat miow This phone line has been connected to a 5000 volt power supply that has been wired to the small kitten......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, city morgue. You kill 'em, we chill 'em......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hi, you've reached Joes crematorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, you know what to do at the tone.......



Listen to: Voicemail
Everything you say will be under oath, you have the right to remain silent anything you do say will be recorded and used against you .......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, please leave your name, number and a brief message......



Listen to: Voicemail
You've reached Pornography Films Unlimited......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, screams You have reached Helgars house of hair removal.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello and welcome to word a day hotline after the tone please leave you name and number and create your own sentence using todays new word. Todays word is Corpronegropediaphilia .......



Listen to: Voicemail
Thank you for calling the suicide hotline.......



Listen to: Voicemail
At the tone, from the time you called you will have exectly 5 seconds less remaining in your life BEEP......At the tone, from the time you called you will have exectly 10 seconds less remaining in your life BEEP......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, you have reached the fidelity sperm helpline......



Listen to: Voicemail
Explosion Hello and thank you for calling.We are at our online bomb making seminar .....



Listen to: Voicemail
Whipping sounds Hello, this phoneline has been hijacked by www.whipme.com .......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hi, if you're calling about an outstanding debt or you're selling something or requesting a charitable donation then please leave your message before the tone.......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hi, we are at home but we are avoiding someone please leave your name and number to find out if it's you......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, thanks for calling bang bang bang We are reinacting the crucifixion so you could say that we are just hanging around......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hi, we are home but we are cleaning our weapons. Please leave your name bang, your number bang .....



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello, around the world, millions still speak French as their first or second language. With your help we can wipe out French.......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hi, thanks for calling but we're in the shower, that's right, your friend and me, all soaped up.......



Listen to: Voicemail
Hello God speaking, please leave your name, number and prayer......



Listen to: Voicemail
So you've decided to give us a call. Well, we're not here. Did you think we had nothing better to do than sat here waiting for you to ring up.........



Listen to: Voicemail
Hey baby, this is the love doctor, I'm at the bedside of a very special patient.....



Listen to: Voicemail
Mexicall "Well you that I'm at the fiesta, I will call you when I take a siesta....."