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Comments for Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life

Looking at life through the prism of psychology, philosophy, mental health and more. Originally created by counsellor, psychotherapist and philosopher Dr Greg Mulhauser, this blog is now the work of an international team of contributors.

Last Build Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2017 22:58:22 +0000


Comment on Acting Innocent and “Playing Dumb” as Manipulation Tactics by Zury

Thu, 20 Jul 2017 22:58:22 +0000

Hello, I have been suspecting for some years that my daughter plays dumb on me to manipulate me into serving her with no regard for any balance on giving/receiving. And if I mention such balance I come out as the strange crazy problematic one. Her mother used to do it too and we got divorce when she was one year old. Is it likely that daughters learn such tactics from their mother (or son or father of course) as an effective way to manipulate her father (me), even though she scarcely saw us together? If neurotics, like me, as you rightly say "find it uncomfortable to accept the notion that not everyone is of benign character" this is even more so when it comes to your own beloved adolescent daughter. Also, being my daughter, it is not enough to liberate myself from that, I also need to help her not use that tactic on anyone in the future. Any suggestions? Thanks so much!!!

Comment on Two Types of Narcissism and How to Tell the Difference by Ryon

Thu, 20 Jul 2017 19:26:44 +0000

I am married to your sister, she is always the victim and talks in the third person to overdramatize or alter her identity to gain power or demand respect. Nothing is ever her fault she will blame the devil, me, family ect for any and all problems. She desires praise for screwing up and believes her actions are not to be judged as evil because she states that "your wife" "your children's mother" "Daughter of the one true God " followed by the good and pure intention that lead her pure selfless heart to do whatever it is she has done or is planning to do.... then she gets upset if you don't praise, thank, validate and agree with her for it! (Example would be stripping the house of AC, mailbox, Flagstone patio, every light and fan inside and out, appliances and all contents because of a rat and needing her kids to be safe "I'm a great mom I made it happen for my kids, so they could be in a safe place" and then act like I did something wrong for questioning her?

Comment on Illeism and Narcissism by Iraj

Thu, 20 Jul 2017 00:20:08 +0000

Illeism can also be pathological in nature, caused by brain injury or autism. My sister was autistic; she was non-verbal until age 5. When she started talking, at first she only repeated what she heard others say (echolalia). Gradually she began speaking her own words, however, she always referred to herself in the third person. For example, she would say "Sally wants a drink of water" rather than "I'd like a drink of water". Also, she would verbalize her thoughts (talk to herself) but even then, she always referred to herself in the third person.

Comment on Post-Disaster Counselling — Help or Well-Meaning Abuse? by Annie

Tue, 18 Jul 2017 23:55:04 +0000

Our police department has a program called "peer support" in which a female officer, who is not a trained counselor, performs a critical incident stress debriefing after a major event. Attendance at her meetings is mandatory. I whole heartedly agree with this article - that such an approach causes more harm than good. -a police officer who would rather not be bothered

Comment on Acting Innocent and “Playing Dumb” as Manipulation Tactics by jill

Tue, 18 Jul 2017 04:20:23 +0000

Hi. My husband plays dumb. Lol surprise! For many months I asked my husband to please take his shoes off at the door. He responded with "exactly what are you asking. I need you to tell me exactly. Try writing it in point form as to what you need" after 2 months of asking what is it that he doesn't understand I decided to post a sign that said "please take off your shoes here (I added an arrow showing where shoes are to be taken off)" Now any moron with a quarter brain speaking and able to read English should understand. Well the battle got worse with him still telling me he just doesn't get what I'm asking. Instead of actually giving in he chose to pretend dumb. Now if a man pretends dumb and battles to prove he's right makes me wonder why I'm with him. Needless to say he pretends dumb with everything now should I just ignore him and allow him to get away with all of it? I'm tired of this game.

Comment on Neurosis vs. Character Disorder: Self-Image Issues by E. Rodriquez

Mon, 17 Jul 2017 18:33:51 +0000

In Romantic affairs can a disturbed persona and neurotic person fall in love or do both fall into a viscous cycle of manipulating each other. what is this called in psychology.

Comment on Shame, Guilt and Character Development by Susangh

Thu, 13 Jul 2017 04:16:33 +0000

I recount to a marriage counselor the story of us, the disloyal, dishonest behaviors my spouse has done that have hurt me deeply. He encapsulates my list of his behaviors to the therapist, right there in front of me, as me having just called him wicked. He assigned that character description to himself - I didn't. Does he feel shame or not? Is he so shameless that he would shame himself so as to manipulate the counselor into perceiving him as a victim?

Comment on The Mistrustful Thinking of Disturbed Characters by Susangh

Thu, 13 Jul 2017 03:30:01 +0000

Words that have come from my crazy-making, lying, manipulative spouse's mouth: "Human resources offices assume everybody lies on their resume." "Don't give him (a homeless man) any money, it's always a scam." After being fired for a decade and a half of secret pornography use at work he is trying to save our hideous marriage. He actually said: "I'm trying to be honest, but it's hard to NOT lie." Recently, I asked him why he doesn't want to get a divorce and he answered that "It would feel like a failure." Gee, glad I mean so much to him.

Comment on Nobody Understands Neurosis Like a Psychopath by TX

Thu, 13 Jul 2017 02:52:04 +0000

I believe my husband is a psychopath. He has done many bad things while on parole. I checked off the Hare test. He got a least 26 if not more as I was being generous. I called his parole officer after I called law enforcement to make report/s. The parole officer seemed to blame me for husbands behavior. I am not an enabler. I called him on his behaviors...drugs and spousal abuse. I am separated. How do we deal with the criminal drugged society who are like this? How do I deal with him continually lying and manipulating if we go to court?

Comment on Assessing Character: One Key to Relationship Success by Christine

Wed, 05 Jul 2017 03:04:17 +0000

It is absolutely critical to be able to assess character as soon as possible. Why lead yourself or someone else on and waste precious time or risk the hurt for you or them? I recently met someone from an online dating site and after messages, phone calls, texts and emails, decided to meet for breakfast. He was interesting, educated, intelligent and attractive. We decided to spend the day together attending a public event. He drove his truck I drove mine. My first red flag was the suspicion of alcohol on his breath before noon. I wasn't sure but then when he went to his truck to bring some photo albums to share, I smelled mouthwash... a weak attempt to mask the alcohol, no doubt. Still how could I be sure? A few days later, he confessed in a round about way, that he "drank wine like a fish". I thanked him for his honesty and asked him what he intended to do about it. I have been previously married to an alcoholic and was very concerned to say the least. After consideration, although he had many good qualities, the bottom line is that his drinking problem was a deal breaker. Character flaw #1 Alcoholic