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Comments for Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life

Looking at life through the prism of psychology, philosophy, mental health and more. Originally created by counsellor, psychotherapist and philosopher Dr Greg Mulhauser, this blog is now the work of an international team of contributors.

Last Build Date: Mon, 18 Sep 2017 04:14:58 +0000


Comment on Committed to Making a Difference: The INFJ Personality Type by Rachel

Mon, 18 Sep 2017 04:14:58 +0000

Being an INFJ is also very lonely because most people assume your motivations are not sincere. It's disheartening to learn how malicious so many people are for no apparent reason. I guess I was naive most of my life. Ive never met another INFJ that Im aware of. It would be nice to find more like minded people. I just can't seem to run into any of them.

Comment on Confronting the High Cost of Bitterness by H. J.

Sat, 09 Sep 2017 09:47:09 +0000

This is such an excellent article! Thankyou, explains my sister's behaviour over decades who recently told me how 'graciously' she has behaved! She's fallen out with all the family!

Comment on Some of the Mysteries of Therapy by Kay Klein, MS, lmft

Sun, 03 Sep 2017 22:43:20 +0000

Just a thought, I've found that when I am initially quite drawn to a client early on, it's b/c some of their issues/interesests are mine or reflect them. Just like it's intriging to meet someone when you discover commonalities. Kind of nice in the real world, but not so useful in therapy. K

Comment on Understanding the Sadistic Personality by Elaine

Tue, 22 Aug 2017 05:28:40 +0000

I have been having an on-line relationship with an admitted sadist. I finally believe him, because he can give so little of himself or will not. If I am sick and I tell him, he says awww. He will remind me, I AM a sadist. I think I finally get it. So, I am weaning myself off of the contacts. I dont msg him, except for silly stuff, like showing him shirts, he might like. His slights have been omissions and not in your face mean! But, I know it is time after 8 mths to let go. He is into S&M or whatever it is. I don't know, I let myself fall fof the sweet, attentive, funny parts.

Comment on Helping Young Children Adjust to Change by Alli

Mon, 14 Aug 2017 16:20:53 +0000

My question is more about small changes, Recently, my son has gotten really upset about the fact we forgot his sleeping bag for school one day, the following week, we forgot his lunch box the week before so we didn't have it for Monday am for his lunch and he broke down. These are small "changes" but he is a very routine child. How do I help him clam down and move on. At times it ruins his day at school.

Comment on Are Psychopaths Really Fearless Predators? by say it

Sun, 06 Aug 2017 13:18:48 +0000

what does an article like this help? It helps explain a group of people who have jumped in and out of my life. Some really close relatives , sometimes, who enjoyed being abusive. Some persons I know who borrow knowing very well they won't repay. A girl I met recently. She goes "through" men. Preachers and whatever. So many many sick characters. I could not, never, believe that these things are possible. These kind of articles take the bull by the horns. Yes it is possible. Yes this is humanity. My troubled life finds peace. When finally I do believe. That humans can be evil. That humans. Can be intra species predators. And that I did the correct thing. When I drew the boundaries. And out went the sick humans.

Comment on What is a Character Disorder? by Beth d.

Fri, 04 Aug 2017 17:12:53 +0000

They may have even have mothers who taught them that doing wrong is right. Like using and controlling people to advance yourself. Some mothers teach their children that stealing is correct and show them how to do it for another example. Since the mother doesn't have a sensitivity for certain people, the children grow up without a conscience towards this group of people. A lot of people stay married because they look better if they stay. They aren't really interested in a real marriage --because they aren't interested in other people, just what other people can get them. You'll find a lot of these men and women (2nd wives, for example) among the character disordered. Remember that the attraction phase of a new relationship wears after two maybe 2 1/2 years so be sure to give it that much time before you choose to marry someone.

Comment on What is a Character Disorder? by Beth d.

Fri, 04 Aug 2017 17:00:07 +0000

In the popular vernacular, character – disordered means someone who didn't learn right from wrong growing up. And has it entered adulthood without knowing right from wrong. Sociopaths are ialways character disordered but not all character disordered people are sociopaths. This is a disorder that is not commonly recognized although most people know what's right from wrong. It can't be treated by a psychologist, only by laws. You better believe these people are abusive. And they tend to be social climbers without conscience, so protect your children especially your daughters.

Comment on Gaslighting as a Manipulation Tactic: What It Is, Who Does It, And Why by Samantha Stevens

Wed, 02 Aug 2017 20:25:14 +0000

If it looks like bulls**t, smells like bulls**t, and most importantly sounds like bulls**t... you're being taken for a ride. Also known as "gaslighting". Don't fall for it, don't even dispute it, walk away, don't give that person what they want, an opportunity to confuse you and make you sound and behave unstable. Just walk away, find another room, shut the door and deep breathe and count to 100, 1,000 ... whatever works best for you. It's a game. Don't participate.

Comment on Acting Innocent and “Playing Dumb” as Manipulation Tactics by Zury

Thu, 20 Jul 2017 22:58:22 +0000

Hello, I have been suspecting for some years that my daughter plays dumb on me to manipulate me into serving her with no regard for any balance on giving/receiving. And if I mention such balance I come out as the strange crazy problematic one. Her mother used to do it too and we got divorce when she was one year old. Is it likely that daughters learn such tactics from their mother (or son or father of course) as an effective way to manipulate her father (me), even though she scarcely saw us together? If neurotics, like me, as you rightly say "find it uncomfortable to accept the notion that not everyone is of benign character" this is even more so when it comes to your own beloved adolescent daughter. Also, being my daughter, it is not enough to liberate myself from that, I also need to help her not use that tactic on anyone in the future. Any suggestions? Thanks so much!!!