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Comments for Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life

Looking at life through the prism of psychology, philosophy, mental health and more. Originally created by counsellor, psychotherapist and philosopher Dr Greg Mulhauser, this blog is now the work of an international team of contributors.

Last Build Date: Mon, 14 Aug 2017 16:20:53 +0000


Comment on Helping Young Children Adjust to Change by Alli

Mon, 14 Aug 2017 16:20:53 +0000

My question is more about small changes, Recently, my son has gotten really upset about the fact we forgot his sleeping bag for school one day, the following week, we forgot his lunch box the week before so we didn't have it for Monday am for his lunch and he broke down. These are small "changes" but he is a very routine child. How do I help him clam down and move on. At times it ruins his day at school.

Comment on Are Psychopaths Really Fearless Predators? by say it

Sun, 06 Aug 2017 13:18:48 +0000

what does an article like this help? It helps explain a group of people who have jumped in and out of my life. Some really close relatives , sometimes, who enjoyed being abusive. Some persons I know who borrow knowing very well they won't repay. A girl I met recently. She goes "through" men. Preachers and whatever. So many many sick characters. I could not, never, believe that these things are possible. These kind of articles take the bull by the horns. Yes it is possible. Yes this is humanity. My troubled life finds peace. When finally I do believe. That humans can be evil. That humans. Can be intra species predators. And that I did the correct thing. When I drew the boundaries. And out went the sick humans.

Comment on What is a Character Disorder? by Beth d.

Fri, 04 Aug 2017 17:12:53 +0000

They may have even have mothers who taught them that doing wrong is right. Like using and controlling people to advance yourself. Some mothers teach their children that stealing is correct and show them how to do it for another example. Since the mother doesn't have a sensitivity for certain people, the children grow up without a conscience towards this group of people. A lot of people stay married because they look better if they stay. They aren't really interested in a real marriage --because they aren't interested in other people, just what other people can get them. You'll find a lot of these men and women (2nd wives, for example) among the character disordered. Remember that the attraction phase of a new relationship wears after two maybe 2 1/2 years so be sure to give it that much time before you choose to marry someone.

Comment on What is a Character Disorder? by Beth d.

Fri, 04 Aug 2017 17:00:07 +0000

In the popular vernacular, character – disordered means someone who didn't learn right from wrong growing up. And has it entered adulthood without knowing right from wrong. Sociopaths are ialways character disordered but not all character disordered people are sociopaths. This is a disorder that is not commonly recognized although most people know what's right from wrong. It can't be treated by a psychologist, only by laws. You better believe these people are abusive. And they tend to be social climbers without conscience, so protect your children especially your daughters.

Comment on Gaslighting as a Manipulation Tactic: What It Is, Who Does It, And Why by Samantha Stevens

Wed, 02 Aug 2017 20:25:14 +0000

If it looks like bulls**t, smells like bulls**t, and most importantly sounds like bulls**t... you're being taken for a ride. Also known as "gaslighting". Don't fall for it, don't even dispute it, walk away, don't give that person what they want, an opportunity to confuse you and make you sound and behave unstable. Just walk away, find another room, shut the door and deep breathe and count to 100, 1,000 ... whatever works best for you. It's a game. Don't participate.

Comment on Acting Innocent and “Playing Dumb” as Manipulation Tactics by Zury

Thu, 20 Jul 2017 22:58:22 +0000

Hello, I have been suspecting for some years that my daughter plays dumb on me to manipulate me into serving her with no regard for any balance on giving/receiving. And if I mention such balance I come out as the strange crazy problematic one. Her mother used to do it too and we got divorce when she was one year old. Is it likely that daughters learn such tactics from their mother (or son or father of course) as an effective way to manipulate her father (me), even though she scarcely saw us together? If neurotics, like me, as you rightly say "find it uncomfortable to accept the notion that not everyone is of benign character" this is even more so when it comes to your own beloved adolescent daughter. Also, being my daughter, it is not enough to liberate myself from that, I also need to help her not use that tactic on anyone in the future. Any suggestions? Thanks so much!!!

Comment on Two Types of Narcissism and How to Tell the Difference by Ryon

Thu, 20 Jul 2017 19:26:44 +0000

I am married to your sister, she is always the victim and talks in the third person to overdramatize or alter her identity to gain power or demand respect. Nothing is ever her fault she will blame the devil, me, family ect for any and all problems. She desires praise for screwing up and believes her actions are not to be judged as evil because she states that "your wife" "your children's mother" "Daughter of the one true God " followed by the good and pure intention that lead her pure selfless heart to do whatever it is she has done or is planning to do.... then she gets upset if you don't praise, thank, validate and agree with her for it! (Example would be stripping the house of AC, mailbox, Flagstone patio, every light and fan inside and out, appliances and all contents because of a rat and needing her kids to be safe "I'm a great mom I made it happen for my kids, so they could be in a safe place" and then act like I did something wrong for questioning her?

Comment on Illeism and Narcissism by Iraj

Thu, 20 Jul 2017 00:20:08 +0000

Illeism can also be pathological in nature, caused by brain injury or autism. My sister was autistic; she was non-verbal until age 5. When she started talking, at first she only repeated what she heard others say (echolalia). Gradually she began speaking her own words, however, she always referred to herself in the third person. For example, she would say "Sally wants a drink of water" rather than "I'd like a drink of water". Also, she would verbalize her thoughts (talk to herself) but even then, she always referred to herself in the third person.

Comment on Post-Disaster Counselling — Help or Well-Meaning Abuse? by Annie

Tue, 18 Jul 2017 23:55:04 +0000

Our police department has a program called "peer support" in which a female officer, who is not a trained counselor, performs a critical incident stress debriefing after a major event. Attendance at her meetings is mandatory. I whole heartedly agree with this article - that such an approach causes more harm than good. -a police officer who would rather not be bothered

Comment on Acting Innocent and “Playing Dumb” as Manipulation Tactics by jill

Tue, 18 Jul 2017 04:20:23 +0000

Hi. My husband plays dumb. Lol surprise! For many months I asked my husband to please take his shoes off at the door. He responded with "exactly what are you asking. I need you to tell me exactly. Try writing it in point form as to what you need" after 2 months of asking what is it that he doesn't understand I decided to post a sign that said "please take off your shoes here (I added an arrow showing where shoes are to be taken off)" Now any moron with a quarter brain speaking and able to read English should understand. Well the battle got worse with him still telling me he just doesn't get what I'm asking. Instead of actually giving in he chose to pretend dumb. Now if a man pretends dumb and battles to prove he's right makes me wonder why I'm with him. Needless to say he pretends dumb with everything now should I just ignore him and allow him to get away with all of it? I'm tired of this game.