Last Build Date: Fri, 13 Jan 2017 16:18:49 +0000
Fri, 13 Jan 2017 16:18:49 +0000I believe my younger sister is a vulnerable narcissist. Our father is also a narcissist (but the grandiose kind), so she might have gotten it from him. But she is always playing the victim. She has done that since she was a child, we thought she was just sensitive to pain. She would get bumped by someone walking through the hallway and fall down saying they hit her. She would scream bloody murder if she stubbed her toe so everyone would come over and look at it. I noticed she tends to "get hurt" more often when everyones attention is on someone else's accomplishments. If anyone has any advise on how to deal with her, she is still in the denial phase where she thinks we are crazy for telling her to get help and we are running out of ideas
Thu, 12 Jan 2017 00:47:05 +0000I have been (years) victimized by manipulators and the mental health doctors are totally unaware in NJ of gaslighting any suggestions....FYI Smartphone cameras have made it worse...Epidemic Phones hacked, home invaded..and much much more...Any suggestions?
Wed, 11 Jan 2017 20:41:07 +0000Wow a light bulb had just gone on for me reading this site and learning about INFPs. All my life I've felt I've been treading water and mentally 'lost' but functioning. How people see me is not always how I see me or feel and I've felt 'outside' of what's going on around me, especially in the family scene (academics and extroverts). I like to be organised so think I am an INFJ but agree with other commenters that we are not stuck on one label individually and also that we need each others talents/quirks to balance the world. I look forward to reading more. I'm a young at heart 61 y.o. and now feel a step closer to understanding me and maybe following my 'dreams' with more confidence - but which dream to follow first, I will have to ponder on hah ha. Thanks for the site.
Tue, 03 Jan 2017 22:55:44 +0000Dear Dr. Simon, Thank you for your work. More than anyone you simplify this issue and force us to see the character deficits these people have. You are so right, we all have a moment when we foreshadow the manipulation and callousness but we choose to ignore it. Somehow we need to learn to be more mindful and tolerate the guilt we feel about being repulsed by them. Maybe instead of the gift of fear, the gift of disgust. Your limbic system helping you to not eat poison. ,Thanks again
Fri, 30 Dec 2016 14:51:34 +0000Elisha. I totally feel for you and share your gratitude for this site. I feel terrible guilt for dragging my husband through my hair taring days and sleepless nights and the tears and anguish that come with my mother's NPD, which now seems to have spread into my sister and my niece's behaviour too. Remember there will always be similarities of character with your family members because this is where we receive our basic social programming. Fear NOT - your biggest power is that you can choose how to feel about the events and problems you find yourself in. Just be aware of your own personality traits and learn to love and forgive yourself unconditionally. I Meditate loads and remind myself to choose behaviour which is right for ME. You will know when its the wrong response/behaviour because it will feel bad in your gut. Watch your thoughts and emotions and keep them positive and loving - your inner voice will guide you so TRUST that first and foremost. I take the time to thank my dear husband for his support regularly and affirm to myself that I am working to become stronger and more self reliant in dealing with my family. That helps enormously with the guilt of sapping at his support and energy for himself and his well being. Hope this helps. Good luck. M-T
Fri, 30 Dec 2016 09:11:31 +0000This is so me to the T. Why ? How do I change ?
Thu, 29 Dec 2016 14:35:50 +0000You said: When counseling succeeds in such cases, it’s always at least in part because the counselor (and eventually both parties) have an appreciation for the very different kinds of denial and their roots. I have a couple of prior posts on this very subject. Could you provide links to these posts? Many thanks!
Sun, 25 Dec 2016 11:47:28 +0000They will drive you crazy with gas lighting and lies. Best thing to do is not engage. They are like vampires sucking the life out of you. They will never change. So it is best to get rid. Mel xx
Tue, 13 Dec 2016 18:31:49 +0000It sounds like you have more hope for remarriages among the neurotic and conscientious types. This resonated for me. At 66 years of age, I am now 20 years into a very successful remarriage. I was briefly married in my 20s and then single for many years. I had ample time to make more mistakes, reflect, and learn from all of it. I am actually my husband's third wife (previous marriages lasted 1 year and 23 years). Even as I can see other conscientious types making better remarriage decisions, I have seen so many others with serious personality issues who go on to have ever more-distastrous marriages.
Mon, 05 Dec 2016 19:58:37 +0000Is Donald Trump a gaslighter?