Sun, 9 Apr 2006 19:00:00 GMTAs you can see, we have moved to episode shapes instead of numbers, for obvious reasons. In this week's "Nature Walk", we discuss animal halitosis. Then we discuss which country has the best flag. In our inaugural "Foody Goody" segment, we promote the expansion of preservation methods. Is jerkifying a word? If it is, it probably doesn't mean what you think it does.
Tue, 2 May 2006 19:00:00 GMTStill more foody for your goody. Which kind of animal trimmings are the best? We reveal the long-sought answer in this week's episode. In our first "Sportage" segment, we discuss how Memphis managed to upset Oral Roberts. A long, complicated, story...
Wed, 24 May 2006 19:00:00 GMTThis week we offer slightly more than usual. Our inaugural segment of Dictionary Plus deals with the phrase "needless to say". Perhaps we needn't have bothered to say anything about it, but we do aim for more than is needed: what is needed...plus. We also feature our first "Sportage" segment, in which we propose alternate uniforms (uniforms plus) for denoting specific members of sports teams. Finally, in our "Foody Goody" segment, we vacillate wildly on whether or not gum is food. If you think you know the answer, allow us to persuade you that there are at least two (two plus) equally ridiculous points of view, at least one of which (one plus) you might not have considered.
Sat, 10 Jun 2006 19:00:00 GMTAn extended episode this week, devoted to a special edition of Pooh Corner, in which we attempt to discover what evidence would prove or disprove the existence of god (or God). If you are expecting something sober and intelligent, you clearly haven't been paying attention to the rest of our podcasts. "Whoopie ti-yi-yo/ Oh happy Magellan/ Starting your journey/ With hardly a care…"
Sun, 25 Jun 2006 19:00:00 GMTEverything we talk about this week comes shooting out of someone's body. Isn't that a happy thought? In our increasingly popular "Urban Legend" segment, Warren explains how to properly prepare for peeing. His advice may sound far-fetched, but, well, it’s true. In "Foody Goody", we ponder why cows, sheep, and goats are the mammals of choice for the world's milk supply, to the apparent exclusion of all kinds of mammals (and fish). Which milk would be best for your breakfast cereal? Tell us via email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Fri, 18 Aug 2006 19:00:00 GMTWe introduce a sexy-voice girl this week, who will help introduce some of the segments. What do you think? Let us know via email: email@example.com. We start this week's show with a discussion of Chicken Boo. He wears a disguise to look like human guys, but he's not a man, he's a chicken, boo! In Foody Goody, we debate the origin of cotton candy. Actually, we spend most of the time converting a cotton candy machine into an ass-cleaning implement.
Thu, 24 Aug 2006 19:00:00 GMTThis week Luc gets a bit irate, old-man style, about trendy new names for colours. Everyone else disagrees. In Inventions and Shit, we come up with a brilliant novelty item that is sure to generate millions. Ambitious inventors (or rock bands) should contact us by email (firstname.lastname@example.org) to obtain our logo for the corner of the toilet paper squares, and to offer us a cut of the profits. Also, please visit our myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/limitedappeal!
Tue, 26 Sep 2006 19:00:00 GMTWe start this week by contemplating the likely pets of each of the other hosts. If you have any suggestions of pets that would be well suited for one or more of us, let us know via email (email@example.com). In our "Nature Walk", John asks what the difference is between hair and fur. The answer may not be as straightforward as you think. What about sheep? What about teddy bears? Would YOU want a fur coat made of pubic fur?
Wed, 1 Nov 2006 19:00:00 GMTWe start by reaching deep into the mail sack. Actually, this is a response to a comment on our MySpace page (http://www.myspace.com/limitedappeal) from our monotarded friend (no offence, Karm). If you want us to talk about your own question, but not necessarily answer it, email us (firstname.lastname@example.org). In Dictionary Plus, we discuss Reuter's euphemistic phrase, "oedipal expletive". They're a bunch of smart mother-fuckers over at Reuter's, eh? One more thing: Warren and John are ridiculous nerds. If it's not already apparent, we provide the final proof. (Pazam!)
Wed, 8 Nov 2006 19:00:00 GMTIn this week's ETWTF, we try (with very little success) to explain Marilyn Manson to aliens. If you are Marilyn Manson, and care to clear up the confusion about your ball-mask and tits, email us (email@example.com). Then, in Inventions and Shit, Warren proposes developing a pissgauge. We never fully decide whether this is a good idea, but it leads to a lot of intriguing discussion on piss. Go figure! Finally, we consider the lengths to which some people will go to prepare for the inevitable clean-up following a masturbatory session.
Wed, 22 Nov 2006 19:00:00 GMTFor all of you searching for enlightenment about Runescape or Pamela Anderson's dink, you've been had. Hey, if you're feeling bad about this, at least you're not CENSORED, wearing a CENSORED because you broke your CENSORED. If you don't understand our censorship, please refer to Episode Waxorama. We understand that inside jokes work poorly in a podcast, but we figure that our show is bad enough that it doesn't really matter. In "Inventions and Shit", John lists his three favourite inventions of all time. Strangely, the butt-cork wasn't on his list. Surprised? Email us (firstname.lastname@example.org). We leave you with some sage words: if you leave a little lube, it always comes back to you. One more thing: neopets.
Mon, 1 Jan 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe know Tedmas is over, but since Ted has had such a huge influence on our culture, we thought naming a second episode after him was OK. We start with an Urban Legend segment exploring the origin of shirt wearing among human men. Turns out a nipple-tweaking prank got way out of hand, and no one could get anything done. Pretty obvious in hindsight, eh? Then we take a Nature Walk and discuss the reintroduction of Bearded Vultures to the Alps. Just like John, they don’t eat meat but they sure like the bone. Somehow, our discussion leads us to strange foods, such as mouldy cheeses and berries. If you know of anything even weirder than bones that can be used as food, email us (email@example.com).
Mon, 8 Jan 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe start by asking why there are no milkmen any more (especially in light of their reproductive success). That segment really sets the bar low for the rest of the episode. Next Warren tells a story about a waitress who used to be a phone sex operator, and often spoke of manmilk (do you get the theme yet?). If you have ever called a phone sex line and heard of manmilk, let us know via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Finally, Luc asks where you would like to obtain samples if you studied semen: your supervisor, your brother, a homeless guy, or a needle right into the "testes satchel"?
Mon, 15 Jan 2007 19:00:00 GMTIn this special double-segment, we wrap up our infamous Who's That Bird segment and award our long-awaited reacharound. In a surprise twist, we decide that the loser must provide said reacharound. Nevertheless, John maintains his strategy of being a complete jackass. Will it pay off? Listen, and find out! Learn about the accordion-shaped white laughing bird, the weeping football cannibal bird, and the two-fisted marine fisher in round one! As if that's not enough, we still have time to discuss Rich Little, the Three Stooges, and Toucan Sam before announcing a winner. Email us at email@example.com.
Mon, 22 Jan 2007 19:00:00 GMTWelcome to Season 2! If you want to convey your surprise, congratulations, or disappointment that we're still producing this ridiculous podcast after more than a year, email us (firstname.lastname@example.org). This week, after acknowledging General Patton vs. the X-ecutioners for our flashy new music, we move on to our first segment of the brand new season, Polish the Bishop, in which we attempt to decipher a cryptic euphemism. This leads to the quotable quip by T-Bone: "Why doesn't she just use a pair of socks?" In Urban Legend, Warren surprises us all by telling the truth for once, and it's at least as infuriating as when he's completely full of shit.
Mon, 29 Jan 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe start with a new kind of (as-yet unnamed) segment, in which Warren asks us to name five translucent things. Pointless you say? Maybe. OK, definitely pointless. But it's no worse than most of our banter, right? Maybe? Well, to make up for it, Warren discusses how painful his wisdom tooth surgery was, even though he was given every anaesthetic known to man. Can you guess where they injected his drugs when they couldn't find a vein? Finally, we try to find an analogy for a painful medical condition: the three-day erection. How long did your most persistent erection last? Let us know via email (email@example.com).
Mon, 5 Feb 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe start off this week by discussing the censorship of naughty and/or offensive lyrics. If you're an impressionable youth who can be unduly influenced by suggestive language, send us an email (firstname.lastname@example.org), and we'll fill your brain with all kinds of great ideas. Later, we have a chat about Gonzo the Muppet's sexual obsession with chickens. What the hell is Gonzo, anyway? And what does he get out of catching cannonballs? The definitive (or, one might say, the conanical) answers to these and other questions are certainly not in this episode. But have a listen anyway, will you? Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 12 Feb 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe start this week with the first ever Urban Legend segment that is NOT introduced by Warren, about goats and coffee. This leads T-Bone to propose a new method for getting drugs into your system. We take no legal responsibility for anyone who wishes to attempt T-Bone's suicidal technique. In sportage, Warren plays 3 NHL goal horns and following musical and asks us to guess the city from which the montages originated. The winner gets, well, just guess. If you want to complain about the redundant use of Blur music in NHL arenas, email us (email@example.com).
Mon, 19 Feb 2007 19:00:00 GMTIn this week's episode, we begin with Sportage, and develop several exciting alternative rule sets for curling. How could curling possibly get more exciting? Just listen and find out. (OK, here's a hint: our ideas include fighting, exploding rocks, and bags of pubic hair.) As if that's not exciting enough, at one point Johnzo admits he has never seen Lanny McDonald naked. Loser! In Dictionary Plus, Warren asks us to find the opposite of the phrase, "There ain't no telling, I reckon." This predictably leads to a high-minded discussion about fuckin' epistemology. If you think you know the age of the tree from Dead Man Walking, email us (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 26 Feb 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe begin this week with a brand new drinks-related segment, Alcoholics Says. It's meant to be the opposite of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you don't find that funny, see Episode Four Plus. If it's still not funny, well, fuck you. Our relatively innocuous conversation about drinks soon turns into a rather nasty discussion about all kinds of ass-related ailments. We even discover which children's toy is the perfect analogy for a certain rectal problem. If you have a sphincter story to tell, or want medical advice on how to get your prolapse under control, email us (email@example.com).
Mon, 5 Mar 2007 19:00:00 GMTAll this talk of climate change has Warren worrying about obesity in squirrels. What happens if there's no winter to stop them from overindulging in nuts? This conversation segues seamlessly and predictably into talk about monkey masturbation. Warren's hypothesis is that if a monkey is awake, it is probably masturbating. T-Bone suggests that, contrary to popular opinion, excessive masturbation leads to hair loss on certain parts of the monkey anatomy. In another amazing transition, our conversation steers towards exercise programs for fat monkeys and adolescents that involve masturbation and/or video games. If you are a monkey or an adolescent, or know the aerobic value of their masturbatory habits, email us (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 12 Mar 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe start with "What Would It Take" corner, and Warren asks what it would take for each of us to agree to sell his soul. Luc undersells everyone (perhaps a bit impulsively) before he realizes he has relinquished both his thermostat and his TUMS. A foolish man and his digestive aids are soon parted. As our resident philosopher, Johnzo finally comes to the rescue and explains exactly what to expect when we die: either nothing happens, or something happens. Profound shit, enh? We wrap up the episode with a considerably less-controversial subject: Hitler's mustache and his charisma. Were they related? Email us with your opinion (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings
Mon, 19 Mar 2007 19:00:00 GMTJohnzo proposes a new insult invoking Braille and gooseflesh. In Pooh Corner, Warren asks why skill-testing questions are required for contest-winners. Answer: we don't know. Now skip ahead to 5:20. Warren asks what would happen if everyone, all at once, mosh-pitted, and this naturally leads us to naked slides and John Tesh. Admit it, you're curious. Finally, Luc corrects T-Bone about whether snails have asses. What they do with that arrangement is their own business. If you have any snail-porn, send it to us: firstname.lastname@example.org. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 26 Mar 2007 19:00:00 GMTThis week we return to Foody Goody after a long lapse to briefly discuss Warren's Chinese Wedding experience, complete with bloody shark-fin soup. Then, in Pooh Corner, we ask how arms manufacturers sleep at night. Turns out you don't become the CEO of an Arms Manufacturing company by accident. Who knew? In the course of the conversation, we end up promoting two movies and one book, and Warren even suggests an improvement for the book title. We'll be expecting a cut from the producers and publisher shortly. To arrange the payment, email us (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 2 Apr 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe start with another Urban Legend in which Warren proposes that ingesting very small amounts of a substance produces the opposite of its effect in large doses. So for example, a small amount of caffeine might put you to sleep. Confused? It's kinda like, um, magnets. One end of the magnet is like a small amount of coffee, and the other end . . . ah fuck it. It's total bullshit. In Dictionary Plus, Warren proposes the elimination of two words from the English language. Then we remark on the imprecision entailed in the "half-mile club". Our new recommendations help distinguish all kinds of sexual groupings in planes. If you have any further suggestions, let us know by email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 9 Apr 2007 19:00:00 GMTOur website tracker tells us what search terms lead visitors to the website, and we noticed recently that one inquisitive surfer stumbled onto our site after asking Google, "How do you know if your ballsack is shrinking". Recognizing that said web surfer must have been disappointed in our lack of shrinking ballsack-related web content, we decided to correct the situation. Do you have a question for our sexual health panel? Email us (email@example.com). Finally, what would it take for you to agree to attend a $700 per plate event at which The Beach Boys play? If you are a fan of either The Beach Boy or the beach guyz, you probably won't appreciate our answers. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 17 Apr 2007 19:00:00 GMTWhat does it take to have the rights to play "What Does It Take" by Honeymoon Suite? We don't know. But Johnzo isn't offering much. In Dictionary Plus, we try to determine how to revoke a "please". Hey, we're always trying to help. If you work for the Oxford English Dictionary, contact us via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Finally, Warren issues an ultimatum to Ricky Gervais for stealing our format and making it funny. A reminder for anyone who is expecting us to be as funny as Ricky Gervais: this is what you get. Finally, we suggest a euphemism for smelly feet. Try it out when the guy next to you on the plane takes his shoes off. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 24 Apr 2007 19:00:00 GMTOnce Johnzo stops picking at it, we realize someone has punched us in the mail sack. Apparently some guy or girl left a comment on our myspace page complaining about belching in a recent episode. Curiously, she didn't complain about the rectal prolapse segment. Different folks, we guess. T-bone conditionally addresses her complaint, subject to the cooperation of Coca-cola and its corporate cronies. In the Urban Legend, Warren explains the origin of the phrase "riding shotgun". If you operate a bakery near Naples, you might consider erecting some protective barriers out front. If you know what riding shotgun is called when a woman is driving, let us know via email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 1 May 2007 19:00:00 GMTThis week we feature a prolonged Nature Walk, in which Warren asks why some people refuse to eat cute animals. Would you eat tuna if it were accidentally caught in a dolphin net? Naturally this topic leads to questions about prohibitions against sex with animals, especially rabbits. (What did you expect?) Luc questions why the Bible recommends the execution of animal victims of rape. Warren then asks us whether we would consent to our pet having a sexual relationship with a person. This of course leads us to wonder how to determine whether a pet is consensual. If you know the answer, let us know via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 8 May 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe start this week's episode with a Nature Walk, in which Warren asks what animal we would most like to speak English. None of the answers make any sense, but I suppose that's not very surprising. Nor is John's affection for wildebeests. In Dictionary Plus, Warren asks for a non-offensive word for blitzkrieg, just in case you need to use it at church. Those ushers, they get out of control sometimes. If you know a bad Craig, email us (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 14 May 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe begin with Warren attempting to impress us with his extensive knowledge of cricket, but we think he's full of shit. However, if your name is Tarnqvist and you know what silly-mid-off means, let us know (email firstname.lastname@example.org) so Warren can gloat. Then in Dictionary Plus, Warren asks why felching is so popular it's been dignified with a name. If you don't know what felching is, we can't help you. Try our old friend Google Images! Finally, in this week's Nature Walk, Luc describes a calf with an unusual eating habit. Moral of the story: never question a sacred cow, because he probably just cut himself shaving. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 22 May 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe begin by explaining headcheese to John in our latest Foody Goody segment. This leads to a discussion of why such a comestible can be called cheese, and we conclude that a food can be called anything as long as one of the words in its name is true. T-bone¹s anxiety about eating pig's feet is deepened when Luc describes how mushrooms are grown. Warren then asks when LOL is no longer sufficient to placate an offended text message recipient. Surprisingly, this leads to a whole lot of offensive conversation. We hope you're not offended (DNOEI!!!), but if you are, let us know in a cryptic acronym-ridden email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 29 May 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe start with another segment of Alcoholics Says. Warren introduces a new drink, which we attempt to find a catchy name for. This is kind of a pointless exercise, because Warren's own impression is that the drink is terrible. We do however stumble on Buckley's secret recipe! (Please do not sue us Mr. Buckley.) In a new low, Warren asks what it would take for each of us to eat our own poo. Sorry. I strongly recommend you don't listen to this segment. Seriously. If you insist, feel free to email us your complaints (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 6 Jun 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe start out this week by trying to name 5 things that are not translucent. You'll have to listen to see if we could do it! Refer to episode Floppy Sock to hear us successfully name 5 things that are translucent. If you have an idea for us to name 5 things, send us an email at email@example.com. And don't worry - it doesn't have to be a good idea. Then we discuss why tall buildings don't have a thirteenth floor. Or why we should have to pay for a ferry boat with giraffes instead of cash. Damn that Hammurabi!
Wed, 13 Jun 2007 19:00:00 GMTThis is a vegetarian episode, as sadly there is no T-bone in this one. To begin this week, you guessed it, we discuss the word "cocksure". We get a bit distracted during the discussion: we consider the "universal opposite", and discuss why gruntled, flammable, and famous can't be made into antonyms with the usual prefixes. When we try to get back on topic, we end up chatting about "Happy Days". Then we discover the imitative origin of the words "cock" and "Warren". This reminds Warren of one of his co-workers who schedules "evening" meetings at 2 pm. We've censored random words in this discussion for no good reason at all. Our assumption is that your imagination is much funnier than our actual conversation. If you're feeling shitsure and think you know what the opposite of "says" is, email us with your suggestion (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 20 Jun 2007 19:00:00 GMTThis week we begin with another segment of "Urban Legend", in which Warren guarantees you cancer if you eat 30 mushrooms or 15 000 pounds of bacon every day. T-bone volunteers to test this guarantee in order to trash his vagina. Nope, it doesn't make any more sense when you listen to the full segment either. Then, in the "Nature Walk", Warren describes exhibitionist mammals at a Home Show, and this leads to much discussion about the solo sex lives of non-human animals. Finally, Luc asks what is wrong with masturbating in public. If you think you know, tell us via email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 26 Jun 2007 19:00:00 GMTJohn starts us off this week with an epileptic introduction. Then Warren revives a segment we haven't had in a long time by introducing a new, darker superhero. This guy turns 8-track tapes into weaponized bibles. Yeah. You read that correctly. Actually, they're just fucking bibles, but Warren likes to call them "weaponized" because he's a dick. If you think the whole setup is terrible, wait till you hear his name. I want to punch Warren in the neck right now, just thinking about it. If you feel the same way, let us know via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings. Note: We're taking a week off, so listen to this one twice.
Tue, 10 Jul 2007 19:00:00 GMTToday's episode features the first instalment of our new contest: What am I eating? This contest will stretch over several weeks or months, and each of us will take a turn at stumping the others with clues in the form of audible mastication (I said mastication, you pervert). The winner will receive an as-yet unspecified prize. Feel free to play along, but keep in mind that our audio isn't very good, and you won't win a prize even if you're much better at guessing than we are. Submit your entries via email (email@example.com). After we finish dining, we move on to discuss asymmetry in testicular positioning (except for Warren). Warren claims to have conducted an experiment supporting a theory, and this leads to all kinds of epistemological discussion on the nature of scientific theories, and the covariance between testicular and penile positioning. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 18 Jul 2007 19:00:00 GMTStarting this week, Luc will be reporting from far afield for the indefinite future. (Translation, his audio is a bit weird, and we don't know why or how to fix it.) This week we determine analogous foods to honey, produced by other animals than bees. Of course, it would help if we had the vaguest idea how honey is made, which we don't. But that doesn't stop us from speculating on this subject and on how bird reproduction works. Then, entirely by accident, Warren stumbles on a rather good analogy for bees, which is aphid-farming ants. The moral of the story: aphids are like bees. To express your appreciation for this insight, email us (firstname.lastname@example.org).
Thu, 26 Jul 2007 19:00:00 GMTJust in case you didn't get enough of last week's topic, this episode features more rectal goodness see episode Luc's Special Honey for the preamble. John is surprised to discover that honeydew comes from an aphid's ass, but after some discussion appears to get excited about the prospect of drinking honeydew. We discuss the commercial possibilities and marketing challenges. In the superhero's phone booth, Warren proposes Biowarfare Chick, who mutates viruses after getting their attention, and "sicks" them on criminals. We accidentally stumble on the weakness of her crime procurement strategy: personal hygiene. And the delay between infection and illness. And the fact that every innocent bystander will also probably get sick. If you can think of any other weaknesses in this superhero, let us know by email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Fri, 3 Aug 2007 19:00:00 GMTThis week's episode starts as an urban legend and ends as an inventions and shit segment. Warren provides a public service by warning everyone about how many poop molecules get stuck to a toothbrush that is left near the toilet, and the conversation that follows is predictably unsettling. In spite of how nonsensical Warren's premise is, we spend a lot of time trying to solve this problem, and even reveal a heretofore top-secret invention by a friend of ours that may involve anal staples. Let us know what you think via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Thu, 9 Aug 2007 19:00:00 GMTOK, all you word-liking bitches, we begin with Dictionary Plus so that we can explore what exactly futs are, either now, or at some stage in the future. Does that description make any sense? Doesn't matter: it's good enough. Then Luc reports on who is winning and how many are dead from the field, where he has just returned from a safari. Apparently, the rhinos are pretty dangerous and require their own rhino clown. But Warren is more frightened of the monkeys. Luc is also afraid of the chimps, but only because of the serious scrotal problems. If you've ever experienced genital discomfort because of an interaction with a non-human ape, let us know via email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Thu, 16 Aug 2007 19:00:00 GMTIn Alcoholics Says, for a change we discuss an alcohol-related story rather than something one of us is drinking. Apparently there's a Russian word for a period of continuous drunkenness that lasts at least two days. Warren somehow thinks this, in addition to the fact that 43% of deaths for men aged 30-50 are caused by drinking poisonous liquids in an attempt to get (or stay) drunk, indicates a problem. What do you think? If you are sober enough to type, let us know via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). If you're not sober enough, perhaps you need to go into training; you can start by growing a moustache. Then we present round 2 of our "What am I eating?" contest. Just like in round 1, it's impossible to hear many audio clues, but we don't let that stop us from guessing. Please play along, and prepare to be amazed by T-bone's culinary dedication! Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Thu, 23 Aug 2007 19:00:00 GMTIn this week's Nature Walk, we discuss a quote by William S. Burroughs: "Which came first: the intestine or the tapeworm?" Turns out that the answer depends a lot on how you define a tapeworm, and an intestine, and the word "the". Then we present the inaugural edition of a new segment: Good Idea, Bad Idea. Warren's suggestion for discussion is an early 16th century Mexican tradition that a widow must not wash for 80 days during mourning after a man's death, then scrape off the accumulated crud, wrap it in paper, and give it to the priest. Let us know if you think this practice (or the segment itself) is a good idea or a bad idea by sending us some email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 4 Sep 2007 19:00:00 GMTAfter an especially Fraggley introduction, we talk about the most disgusting picture on the Internet, which none of us has seen. Apparently, though, it's nasty. If you have a copy, send it to Warren only in a disguised link. Then Warren asks which of the Golden Girls we would most like as a roommate. We shouldn't have been surprised when T-Bone jumped to conclusions about what being a roommate involves. If you would like to move in with him, let us know via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 10 Sep 2007 19:00:00 GMTJohn starts us off by telling us about his frightening visit to a stag the night before the recording, and this somehow turns into a discussion of Warren's influence on the spread of STD's. Then, after a short delay so John can catch up to the rest of us, we move to Polish the Bishop (with exciting new segment music), in which we discuss the possible euphemistic meaning of the phrase "Support the Troop(s)". If you own a male push-up thong, first put on a ball cap for safety reasons, and then please explain why: send us an email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 19 Sep 2007 19:00:00 GMTWarren begins by describing the experience of listening to the worst song he has ever heard: "I've got my mind set on you", by George Harrison. But since Weird Al spoofed it, it couldn't have been that bad. Too bad Weird Al can't count. Dumbass. At least we get to play some new transition music, and hope he doesn't sue us. Then we reach back into the mailsack, where someone left a comment via our myspace page. Is "bitch" a gender-specific word? Tell us what you bastards think by sending us an email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 26 Sep 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe start with Luc trying to interpret the phrase "Actually kicking the shit out of them." Fair warning: this discussion involves poop. Then, in Name Five Things, Warren asks us to list candidates for replacing the suits in a deck of cards. Once again we will amaze you with our thing-naming capacity. Really. Or by our revelations on the future of cards. Or maybe with how long it takes us to come up with five things. Whatever. It doesn't matter – I made a point. Finally, Warren announces "Moot Point" day, even though it will have already passed by the time this episode airs. Tell us how you celebrated via email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 2 Oct 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe begin this week by discussing the parameters of pudding in Foody Goody. Turns out having glass shards is no obstacle to being pudding, but being sliced is. If you're confused by this because you grew up outside North America, this segment won't help. What if you put lava into pudding? What if there's enough pudding to cool the lava? Just as we get going with the metaphysical implications of this, we need to break – stay tuned for pudding part 2 next week! Email us (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 15 Oct 2007 19:00:00 GMTAfter a suspenseful delay, we finally continue our fascinating (to some?) discussion of pudding. If you've had enough pudding already, skip ahead to 4:00. If you missed the last episode, you may want to start with that one first. We'll wait. Go on! Right. Now that you're finally back (Jesus!), you can start by hearing John's (perhaps predictably) angry reaction to the existence of lava molecules. Then Luc reaffirms that pudding (or puddinging) should be a verb. Why? Maybe we need more words with a double i-n-g. Or maybe not. Finally, we break down and look some shit up, and the results are mind-blowing. If your world has also been rocked by our etymological discussions, let us know with an email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 22 Oct 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe start with John taking his turn at hosting "What am I eating?". Listen very carefully, because there's always a chance he might "reward himself", so to speak. Play along with your friends and try to guess what he's eating in spite of the lack of audio clues. You can't possibly do any worse than T-bone, even if you don't have KY all over your hands. After T-bone cleans himself up, Warren asks why the seven deadly sins are not properly covered in the Ten Commandments, and issues another (terrible) ultimatum. Somehow the lesson from our banter is that actors should refrain from morally objectionable roles. I know, it's bullshit. Tell us why you think so via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 29 Oct 2007 19:00:00 GMTThis week's episode kicks off with a Nature Walk, in which Warren announces the limited circumstances in which cows dream. Unpredictably, this eventually leads to poo talk, and Luc explains a recent (real) experiment he conducted that featured cow patties. Can you guess who ruined the poo experiment? You may or may not be surprised. If you are interested in a career in cow poo science, email us (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 5 Nov 2007 19:00:00 GMTWhat if everyone, all at the same time, got bitten by an animal? Make sure you don't fall into the trap of taxonomic bias – an animal can be something that's not a plant or fungus or prokaryote. If you follow this logic through, you'll realize that there was probably a moment in history when everyone actually was bitten by something. Don't believe us? Check your eyebrows. When you're finished, Warren will provide you with another urban legend on the origin of the plumber's snake. It's harder to believe than the fact that everyone was bitten at the same time at some point in the middle ages. If you feel a sharp pang in the back of your neck, and you have neither a mullet nor any scalp mites, it's probably Warren's bullshit story giving you a headache. Email us (firstname.lastname@example.org) if you want to complain. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 12 Nov 2007 19:00:00 GMTWhich Sesame Street characters had their shit together, do you think? And which ones always got duped? If you don't know, we'll tell you. And use this excellent excuse for playing Snuffy's song. La la la, la la la la! Then Luc asks whether dogs suffer ring-sting echo. Listen for the full explanation, but be warned that the subject matter is as lowbrow as you think, or possibly even lower. For example, an on-topic question related to this conversation: "Imagine how bad your piss would taste if you're eating coal!" My guess is this is not a common topic in your average podcast. Yet another niche exploited by Limited Appeal. If you know of any other obscure topics that deserve our thorough treatment, send us an email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe start this week in style by risking massive litigation. If you're confused, see episode Brown Toothpaste. Then Warren tells yet another story about his very strange workplace. It involves a questionable segue between a story about cruelty to squirrels and a considerably darker story we can't even describe because it's way too disturbing. Aren't you glad you don't work with Warren and his colleagues? Me too. Thankfully, Warren rescues us from the utterly disgusting by bringing up autofellatio. Then we try to name five things people can't be allergic to. Think it's easy? Then you haven't appreciated the finer philosophical points inherent in the question. Allow us to enlighten you. If you wish to thank us for being so illuminating, send us an email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 26 Nov 2007 19:00:00 GMTWe start with a good idea/bad idea segment in which we evaluate an advertising campaign for soap featuring loose pubic hair. Naturally, we wonder why Old Spice wants us to scrub away all our pubic hairs, especially if we're sharing a shower with a big hairy dude, or perhaps even with a small seemingly hairless woman, like the kind T-bone dates. In the second half, we discuss variations on soap involving food and corpses. Intrigued? Would you like to have your friends and family infusing you with pubes after you die? How come? Let us know via email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 3 Dec 2007 19:00:00 GMTWarren's Urban Legend this week, in keeping with the pattern for this segment of being total horseshit, is that skunk spray was formerly used to keep women virginal before chastity belts were invented. Where the spray was applied is a matter of debate, but Warren insists that it was used in the most offensive way possible. What sound does a spraying skunk make after its scent gland has been removed? Listen and find out. And if you can still manage to maintain an erection despite having been neutered, let us know via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 10 Dec 2007 19:00:00 GMTIn a Limited Appeal first, we spend the entire episode this week dealing with our mail sack, overflowing with a single mail from Louie Lawent, author of "The Louie/God Interviews (What The Big Fella Really Thinks About Man And The Universe)." He has suggested that we feature snippets from his book on our show, so we do. Are people really like radio songs? If you've also wondered this, could you please fucking explain it to me, because I don't get it. I'm not sure if our conversation will provide Louie with the kind of "boost" he is after; judge for yourself whether our promo credentials are well justified. If you have a book you would like us to promote, send us an email (email@example.com) containing a few quotations of your choosing, and we promise that we may or may not read and/or deride it and/or suggest more toastlike versions of it in an episode. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 17 Dec 2007 19:00:00 GMTT-bone introduces his favourite new shooter girl, Taylor. Warning: what follows is stereotypically sexist banter. If you were expecting anything else, well, you know the motto. Anyhoo, turns out Taylor managed to convince T-bone that she is not very bright despite outwitting him in an argument. Then, at long last, we discuss how much should boobs cost. We know about as much about plastic surgery as we do about anything else. Then, in Foody Goody, we feature the 4th in our series of "What am I Eating" segments. As usual, you won't be able to hear any audio cues, but play along anyway. To suggest better versions or our terrible contest, please email us (firstname.lastname@example.org). We probably won't listen, but email us anyway. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Thu, 20 Dec 2007 19:00:00 GMTLook, we're busy. And last year's episode was no worse than most, so you can just calm down and listen again. Or not. If you were expecting something new, well, this is what you get. Tune in after the holidays for a brand new episode, but in the meantime, Merry Tedmas! During this holy time of peace, giving and family, we bring to you tidings of great joy, and ask age-old questions about why angels have trees in their asses. And some other things. Then we discuss the pros and cons of the Santa Claus myth. If you want to ask T-bone how Sex was personified as a character during his upbringing, email us (email@example.com). Then Luc reveals the frightening, sinister side of Santa who might stuff you into a big sack and carry you away. Are you scared, bitch? Sticking with the theme, in ETWTF we ask how one might explain Santa (or Ted) to aliens. Merry Tedmas, everyone!
Mon, 7 Jan 2008 19:00:00 GMTWe start by helping out another frustrated internet searcher who for some reason stumbled onto our website after googling "the sexy girl machines". Of course our website had no information on this, until now. Much of our discussion is focused on the use of a definite article in his search phrase, which is probably not what the dude was bargaining for. Anyway, T-bone quickly rescues the segment by telling us about his one-time girlfriend's fondness for sitting on the clothes dryer. You SHOULD be intrigued. Then in Urban Legend, Warren describes how The Flintstones was based on a true story, supported by "overwhelming archaeological evidence". Turns out the fact that they wrote stuff on stone tablets means there's a treasure trove of artefacts with which we can learn about our past. Sigh. If you have questions about Warren's methods of attribution, or wish to electronically punch him in the neck, email us (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 15 Jan 2008 19:00:00 GMTT-bone starts by suggesting a hair-based exfoliant, before Warren warns everyone about how sharp hair can be (especially the pointy end), based on the story of a Nova Scotian hairdresser who contracted a nasty infection because forgot to wear the appropriate safety equipment. You've been warned! Then Warren relates a (censored) story about how a lunchtime conversation with his boss about Popeye's Chicken (Warren has a very boring job) turned into a conversation about a perverted email sex video featuring a naked headstand and a carton of milk. That's probably as much as you really want to know, but we discuss it at length anyway to fulfil our promise of having limited appeal. If you understand this video or participated in filming it, please do not email us (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 22 Jan 2008 19:00:00 GMTThe intro might make more sense if it came at the end of the episode. But then it wouldn't be an intro, I guess. Anyway, you'll figure out if you can be bothered. And if not, never mind, because we'll distract you by discussing the feats of a Nova Scotian mythical hero. If you think you know why Glooscap is famous, you're probably wrong. Then in Dictionary Plus Warren asks where the phrase "tit for tat" comes from. This leads us to address the long-unanswered question: what do a baloney sandwich and a hamster have in common? Survey your friends and see if anyone can come up with a better solution. If you find one, let us know by email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:00:00 GMTWarren begins this week's episode with a complaint about the Snuggle Bear, spokes-animal for Snuggle Fabric softener. Either he's a real dick, or Warren has a low threshold for assholeishness. Anyway, we spend some time poking holes in the logic behind the ad campaign, and T-bone wonders if the Snuggle Bear is a pervert. What kind of guy uses fabric softener? We actually don't know. What happens if you don't use any form of fabric softener? Does that make your clothes sharp and glasslike? Then in a Nature Walk Luc suggests that it's a good thing women can't store sperm like insects, and T-bone learns why insemination in insects is like a video game. If you can store or sort sperm in your cheeks or anywhere else, send us an email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Fri, 8 Feb 2008 19:00:00 GMTYou may wish to follow Warren's lead and try to eject early. As it turns out, all kinds of crazy shit happens at Warren's workplace, especially in the elevator. Now, now, don't get any perverse ideas. Those things may happen, but Warren apparently finds them to be perfectly normal compared to the questions he fields from strangers and the pubes he finds on his soap. If you have suggestions for how Warren should have responded to the elevator interview, let us know by email (firstname.lastname@example.org). We somehow segue into a discussion of dentists, their names, and their boobs, and we close with T-bone's first rule of reflexology. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 20 Feb 2008 19:00:00 GMTPour yourself a drink and get ready for this morning's episode. We start by promoting sandwich meat awareness in this week's Foody Goody. Warren wants a single term to describe a pre-sliced unit of lunchmeat. He has a lot of time on his hands. And so do we, I guess. In fact, you're listening to this crap, so YOU have a lot of time on your hands, too! Congratulations. Anyway, since you apparently have tons of free time, you might want to listen to last week's episode, "Meat mountain of badness" to make sense of some of this conversation. It won't make a lot of sense, but perhaps some. Anyway, all of this talk of edible animal trimmings leads Warren to ask about Haggis, on which Luc is not really an expert. If you would like to develop our idea for specialty haggises for nicotine addicts, email us (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 26 Feb 2008 19:00:00 GMTIn this last episode of season 2, we feature our attempt to name five "bad bathroom things" to put in your mouth, not including bathroom cleaning products. Harder than you think, in part because of the restrictions Warren imposes on the segment, but especially because the discussion comes off the rails with a digression on toilet brush manufacture. Hard to believe a topic centered around all kinds of horrible things that could be in a bathroom would get us on a tangent. If you're as surprised as we are, express yourself via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Tune in next week for the beginning of a brand new season and our 100th episode. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 4 Mar 2008 19:00:00 GMTWelcome to season 3! (3) We are at least as surprised as you are that our podcast has, to date, featured such an unlimited number of ridiculous topics and equally ridiculous perspectives on them. We'll be equally surprised if the 10,000th download gets anything in the mail. Meh. We start our third season with Round 2 of "What Am I Eating?": Liquid Edition. Just as in Round 1, each of us will eat something (er, drink something) and the others need to guess what is being drunk, and to whom. Why, you ask? Good point. Anyway, our guesswork is a bizarrely satisfying exercise if you like pointless reacharound-directed contests. If you do, stay tuned for the continuation of our contest in a future episode. If not, hopefully you like a bit of disappointment. Send us your responses by email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 10 Mar 2008 19:00:00 GMTIn this episode we inaugurate a new segment, called "Who the fuck cares?" John predicts his perpetual answer, but by the end of the segment he has completely changed his mind. In the first edition, Warren derides musical theatre, mainly because of the continual singing. He also ruins Phantom of the Opera for T-Bone by revealing (SPOILER ALERT!!) that it is stupid. Finally, John tries to reach out (or is it around?) to Warren by agreeing that show tunes outside the context of musicals are gay. If you care to suggest a topic that we might care or not care about, email us (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:00:00 GMTGood morning friends! This week we discuss the ribald adventures of Timmy, the Energy Bear. He's got all kinds of good qualities, provided you like a few extras photons and don't have a pacemaker, a defibrillator, or battery-operated implants. Predictably, the idea of battery operated breast implants gets T-bone rather excited, and for some reason he starts imagining all kinds of ass-related operating procedures for them. You'll have to listen to hear his reasoning. What kind of controls would you like for your boobs? Let us know by email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 25 Mar 2008 19:00:00 GMTMmmmm, foody goody! Warren asks what other types of ketchup there are other than tomato. That of course necessitates us defining the ketchup continuum, and describing the controversial difference between ketchup and marmalade. Listen and discover if you agree! You may also want to imagine a visit to our backwards delivery restaurant, which may or may not mean exactly what you think it does. Then, after a quick stop by wikipedia, we discover that our ridiculus ketchup ideas were tame by the standards of the Middle Ages back in the 40's. Do you have crazy ketchup experiences to relate to us? Let us know via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 1 Apr 2008 19:00:00 GMTOur mail sack has been punched once again, but this time we asked for it. Warren had submitted our feed to the website Culture.ca, who (wisely) rejected our application to be listed. The reason they gave us was that we "use an abundance of coarse language. For the moment we are not able to inform our users on this, yakkety, yakkety, blah, blah". Fuckers! We're waiting for the moment that technology is invented, so the public from Culture.ca can finally overcome their antipathy towards human tails. If you have any ideas for content we could include in a special podcast just for culture.ca, let us know via email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 9 Apr 2008 19:00:00 GMTEven more goody foody! Luc hosts this segment in our continuation of "What am I eating: liquid edition." He produces some weird sounds that may or may not come from his pants. In the course of the guessing, we discuss the Hartford Whalers, the marriage of Dave Simonot way back when, and whether being a sex slave depends on whether you enjoy it. We also provide some useful advice for life, including: "Just sit there and take it!", which is good advice for working your way through a drink with a bead-filled straw, or for listening to an episode of Limited Appeal, for that matter. If you work for Nestle and want to buy us headsets in appreciation for plugging your products, contact us via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:00:00 GMTWe begin this episode by discovering how hard it is to replace every single "u" in any word with "me". It's trme, even if it is infmeriating. Then we ask why Sm-me-rfs are bl-me. OK, fuck it, we ask why Smurfs are blue (perhaps for the second time). Is their singing just a cover for village wide depression, or are they not getting enough oxygen? And is their size related to the presence of lungs? This topic gets Luc angry about insect-related liberties taken by Hollywood over the years, including the male-ness of the protagonist in Seinfeld's Bee Movie. Warren decides this issue requires us to deliver another ultimatum, which is as pointless as ever. If, in your standing as a spokesbee, you wish to clarify your shoe-wearing status, send us an email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 23 Apr 2008 19:00:00 GMTWe launch this week with an especially exasperating version of a Name 5 Things/Foody Goody crossover, in which Warren asks us to name 5 animals other than a pig from which one can obtain bacon, given that the definition of bacon is "a side of a pig, cured and smoked". Doesn't that sound riveting? Well maybe not, but I haven't even started to describe the undiscovered (until now) linguistic and anatomical problems involved in this. Be prepared, as we loosen a few definitions, among other things. If you know whether turkey fat is healthy or not, let us know via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:00:00 GMTIn this week's Polish the Bishop segment, Warren asks us to change an existing euphemism so that it refers to something less offensive than it currently does. He probably wants to avoid having to think about the horrific behaviour involved in the current definition, but ironically, he just succeeds in burning some imagery into the rest of us (and you too, if you dare to listen). Fucker. What is the preferred way to serve chopped up penises? Send your recipes by email (email@example.com). Then T-bone suggests that the chili dog is mainly for people who have sex with their enemies. Luc realizes (far too late) that the segment has gone terribly wrong. You'll probably agree whether or not you manage to listen to the whole episode. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 6 May 2008 19:00:00 GMTThis week's superhero's phone booth is filled with a sultry girl gorilla. Would it even get to the point where she gets shit thrown at her? Turns out she's got large breasts. Does that change anything? A swollen ass? A G-string? No? Well, then you and Warren don't share tastes in sultry gorillas. Next, Warren insists we all know the song by ZZ Top, She's Got Legs. What is the feminine version of the line, "She's got legs, she knows how to use them"? I'm sure you have better ideas than we do. Let us know via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 13 May 2008 19:00:00 GMTThis evening, we bring you some tomato-flavoured muffcake. Warren uses the Rotten Tomatoes scale to determine the "best" song in the world, or at least the song that the most people did not find objectionable. But John quickly fucks up Warren's candidate. Is this a good way to categorize things? Tell us whether you think the rotten tomatoes scale is objectionable or not by giving it a thumbs up or down, and sending it to our email address (email@example.com). In Foody Goody, we decide what the difference is between a muffin and a cupcake. This turns out to be a very touchy subject, mainly because John is a testy bitch. Nevertheless, we finally agree on the difference. Listen to hear about our long-awaited solution to this important problem! Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 20 May 2008 19:00:00 GMTWarren kicks off the week by announcing his upcoming trip to Florida, which initiates a brainstorming session in which we try to avoid copyright infringement regarding the behaviour of drunken women at spring break and their boobs. Then in Pooh Corner, Luc asks what the world should do to compensate for the mistreatment of homosexuals during the holocaust. Says, our suggestion is likely to offend almost everyone, even though, contrary to Warren's first impression, we're NOT suggesting the rounding-up of anyone. The result really would be like Cape Cod, but with show tunes! If you want to support our idea, send us an email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 27 May 2008 19:00:00 GMTThe image for T-bone's Skype profile gets us talking about boobs and defensive eye position (except in water, which is a totally different ball park, of course). For those of you who didn't know the relationship between boobs and predation, you're welcome. In Foody Goody, we present part 3 of round 2 of What Am I Eating (Liquid Edition). See if you can guess what Warren is drinking (and to whom) based on very few audio clues! If you don't care, that probably reflects a healthy perspective on what is important, and what is ridiculously pointless. Assuming you can be bothered, feel free to email us to express your indifference (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 3 Jun 2008 19:00:00 GMTWe open with lots of dramatic music to emphasize the exciting nature of this episode. We return to the Superhero's Phone Booth to discuss a Romanian superhero: Pumaman! Don't be terrified, because Pumaman only uses his Puma-abilities, death-feigning skills, and confusing nomenclature for non-evil purposes. Does this guy remind you of Manimal? Us too. It might even have been the same show. Then we learn that there are lots of words for pumas. How many can you come up with? Finally, Warren reveals the weakness in Pumaman's death feigning ability, which is a total lack of control over when it happens and how long it lasts. If you can think of any way that fainting would be effective against shit-throwing gorillas or other villains, email us (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 11 Jun 2008 19:00:00 GMTThis week we find ourselves back on a Nature Walk when Warren asks if there is an Animal Kingdom equivalent to a strip club. This leads to the surprisingly contested revelation that most animals don't wear clothes, since that appears to be required for stripping, unless of course you include sheep that shear themselves. Those sexy sheep are asking for it! Then T-bone points out that dogs with coats are really just accentuating their nude bottom halves. Disturbing, eh? It's even more disturbing when you realize that their owners are responsible for this emphasis of the genitals. Finally, Luc presents a little natural history that is promptly and predictably distorted. Do you think peacocks are more likely to attend a brothel or a strip club? Let us know by email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Mon, 23 Jun 2008 19:00:00 GMTDo you know the adjective form of the word adjective? It's like "deer", or something. If that's not clear, have a listen and you'll soon figure it out, maybe. Then join us on a nature walk, where we'll discuss tuna recruitment. Sign up today! You'll be treated to a riveting discussion of aquaculture and stem cells. Listen and see if anyone mentions salmon before Warren, or if he's cheaply trying to excuse a musical interlude. Finally, the conversation degrades (as you might have predicted) into talk about John releasing clouds of ejaculate on the side of the road. Luc tries to rerail the discussion by bringing up sneaky fuckers, which makes John wonder why the big dude doesn't notice a massive cloud of foreign sperm whenever he mates. If you can explain this as a sneaker, an alpha male, or a female mimic, please send us an email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Thu, 3 Jul 2008 19:00:00 GMTLuc starts this week's episode wondering about going through life talking like a fourth grader writing an exam. Warren tries it out, but has some troubles. Then we move into our "What would it take" segment, where we discuss what it would take for us to shave off all of our body hair. This leads us into a discussion of pricing of ass hair removal, which T-bone seems to know a lot about... most likely because of all his hottub adventures. Tell us about some of your hottub adventures at email@example.com.
Mon, 14 Jul 2008 19:00:00 GMTIn this week's nature walk, Warren, uses a racial slur that he learned from a DJ, and then offends the French for good measure! Can you come up with a better slur for Belgian colonialists than us? Probably. Send them to us by email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Anyway, Warren finally gets round to telling us about macaques, and their high mating frequencies. Then Luc explains what he knows about lion sex, and why it's better to share if you're a male lion, and why females might prefer to be homosexual. Naturally, this leads to reacharound talk. What else were you expecting? Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:00:00 GMTAfter John spanks T-bone and threatens to get out the genital cuff, Warren asks us whether Bob Saget has gone nuts as a way of psychologically coping with the Full House days. Listen and you might find out why Bob Saget got the part and whether James Earl Jones was involved. Then in a new Good Idea/Bad Idea segment, Warren asks us to consider the ethics of provoking seizures and migraines in epilectics. Is it morally equivalent to exploiting or decapacitating the deaf? These are important problems, even if decapacitate was not a word until just now. If you can help John and his bugs with some directions, let us know by email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Thu, 31 Jul 2008 19:00:00 GMTIn case you were expecting us to have a few episodes without talking about defecating, this is what you get. In this week's Urban Legend, Warren exposes the truth about cats, milk, and diarrhoea. If you have a cat you might be disturbed to learn about what is best for it. Then Luc describes one of the (many) seminars he has seen about poop. In this case, he describes a lion scat full of quills from the porcupine he had eaten. Ouch! Why didn't he just eat meat? Finally, T-bone reveals a frightening but amusing lack of understanding about excretory physiology. If you work for the Ex-Lax company, please explain your brand name to us via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Thu, 7 Aug 2008 19:00:00 GMTThis week we'll rush through things, because T-bone needs to shower off before meeting his male friend. John's leg-ass slapping makes Warren think about two-headed dogs for some reason. Then John relates his own dogging story, which involves all kinds of water sports. As usual, the amusement comes at John's expense. Then we make a decision tree concerning what a dog should do towards objects that smell like other dogs. Finally, Warren reminds everyone about the sex habits of Luc's dog. Have you ever used ropes in sex play? If yes, you might want to meet Relic. Email us to set it up (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:00:00 GMTWarren begins this week by asking what is with the Dark Knight movie. Is it cursed, or a series of coincidences? Or poetry? All of the above? How much hoc is involved? Then in ETWTF we try explaining the Olympic opening ceremonies to an alien. If you are permanently employed as an opening ceremonies performer or planner, please email us (firstname.lastname@example.org) to explain what the point is, and why it's so hard for you to manipulate your box. T-bone wakes up just in time to make a thoroughly confusing (and apparently obscence) contribution, and then we close with some brief comments on the late Bernie Mac. RIP Bernie, however old you are. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 27 Aug 2008 19:00:00 GMTWe begin by asking whether clairvoyant people ever mistake their memories of the future for memories of the past. We're so meta! Then in Foody Goody, Warren announces that we've all been eating bananas from the wrong end. Turns out, you're supposed to eat the bottom first, although now that I think of it, if you're one of the few who already knows this, then you'll probably start eating from the wrong end as a result of our advice. Anyway, it turns out there are lots of pros and cons for banana reversing, so you'll have supporters either way. If you're passionate about banana eating methods, or if you're a monkey and care to enlighten us about your technique (for eating bananas, flinging poo, or masturbating), please email us (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Thu, 4 Sep 2008 19:00:00 GMTWe begin by trying to name five things: lands, but we end up asking many more questions than we can answer in this episode. Can you help us? Is Greenland a country? Is Luseland a land? Can you name 5 Reichs? What is your dependency status? Is Scotland a country or just a nation? Does Greenland have its own soccer team? Who plays for the Vatican's side? Have you ever eaten while crapping? (You should have been expecting a poo question in here somewhere.) Is the problem swallowing or chewing? Continuously or continually? Are you sick of these questions? Why? Would you like to email us (firstname.lastname@example.org)? Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Fri, 12 Sep 2008 19:00:00 GMTIn today's Nature Walk, Warren asks Luc whether there is such a thing as a Liger. Spoiler alert: yes there is. We're not sure about Jagther or hybrids of pandas and jaguars, or hybrids involving only male cats. But we have learned that google images has great photos of cross species mating! Then Luc discusses his trip to Africa. Did he spot any ligers? Spoiler alert: no. In spite of this upsetting absence of ligers as well as museums, he did nearly run over a cheetah, and he saw an enormous and aggressively horny bull elephant, leaking from multiple orifices. (Or is it orifi?) Spoiler alert: he survived. Express your disappointment with the prematurely revelatory nature of this description by email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Thu, 18 Sep 2008 19:00:00 GMTOnce again we come to the rescue for a curious listener who asked the titular question of google, and somehow landed at our site. Since until now we had little to help our new friend, we've decided to remedy things by answering his query. Maybe. Alternatively, we might just start digressing about whether birds get drunk, and then how to explain drinking scotch at work to your boss, and then maybe the preferred snackable form for alcohol dehydrogenase, or why the ancient egyptians performed circumcisions, and how. Or maybe this was all about cats. Look, if you want us to stay on topic, at least articulate your question in an interpretable form. Jackass! Anyway, we somehow answer the dude's question in the end listen to find out how we figured it out. And send us your questions directly by email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Thu, 25 Sep 2008 19:00:00 GMTIn case you were expecting us to tell you when you're meant to laugh while listening to this, you're in luck! Given that our podcast has limited appeal, we thought we would help you out by providing a laugh track on this one episode. In the first controversial segment, we try to name five sitcoms that the world would be better off without. See if you agree with our choices. Then in Good Idea/Bad Idea, we discuss whether laugh tracks are a good idea or a bad idea. We put some extra effort into making sure you're focussed on our show, by giving you lots of laugh track pauses. But I think we've found the right balance so the laugh track is barely noticeable, and certainly not annoying. If we're wrong, once you stop laughing you can email us (email@example.com) to tell us we suck. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Thu, 2 Oct 2008 19:00:00 GMTThis week's inventions and shit brought to you by Baba Ghanoush. You too could be featured in a Limited Appeal episode! Just email us with your ideas for a segment (firstname.lastname@example.org). Anyway, Anfern-- sorry, Baba, suggests scratch and sniff underwear as a new invention. Turns out there are many scenarios in which this could be useful, including those pesky times when you can hardly stand the freshness of your underpants. If anyone is still listening, we'll also tell you why T-bone is perhaps always surrounded by exactly 400 people, and discuss whether scratching your ass is more or less embarrassing than farting. Another classic episode of Limited Appeal, even before we discuss the proper placement of brakelights during a hailstorm! Did I mention we're not big on segues? Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 8 Oct 2008 19:00:00 GMTOur episode starts with another refreshing segment of "Alcoholics Says", featuring a very loud drink, apparently newly invented by Luc. It's not very good, but perhaps better than its name suggests. You'll understand if you listen. Then in Foody Goody, we continue our long-delayed "What Am I Eating: Liquid Edition" contest, which T-bone hosts with more flourish than usual in an effort to give us a sense of the drink's texture. Play along and see if you can guess what T-bone is quaffing, and to whom. And how is pudding gargled? Tell us your experience by email (email@example.com). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Sat, 18 Oct 2008 19:00:00 GMTToday's episode is full of provocative questions again. Get ready by polishing up your helmet for sportage, in which we discuss whether looking so good should be penalized, and for how long. How about looking so bad? Even in hockey? Maybe a free kick? Is this all related to the insurance industry? Then in Foody Goody, Warren describes his morning diet. Do you know a good gastroenterologist who might be able to sort out his guts? Let us know by email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Also, can you tell us how big pea nuts should be? Have you tried wasabi-covered strawberries? Not even in a salad dressing? What's so special about special K? Does it just stand for Kereal? Does T-bone believe in segues? Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Tue, 28 Oct 2008 19:00:00 GMTWe begin this special holiday episode by trying to name five things to carve at Halloween other than pumpkins. (It's not very nice to the pumpkins, after all.) You can play along, but remember where to stick your candle. And all wooden things count together. Why can't pumpkin insides be a mash of non-stringy mush? It's just confusing. If you can help clear up the confusion, let us know by email (email@example.com). Then in Urban Legend, Warren tells us about the increased risk of zombification that arises when people are regularly hypnotized. Do you or your friends show any symptoms? Listen and we will reveal the two things that will certainly decrease your risk of turning into a zombie, presuming that's a bad thing. Voila! Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Wed, 5 Nov 2008 19:00:00 GMTWe begin this week by asking whether amazon.com's experiments in changing the prices of items according to the interest and loyalty of customers are a good idea or a bad idea. What about changing the price of cold soda depending on how hot it is? Regardless of whether the idea is any good, it does make John predictably angry, which is somehow rewarding. What do you think? Should loyalty be rewarded or punished? Let us know via email (firstname.lastname@example.org). We don't actually care what you think, but asking fulfils my obligation to write a couple of lines for this episode's description, and gets the tricky insertion of our email address out of the way. Awesome! Anyway, after quite a lot of discussion, we decide to conduct a couple of experiments of our own to see if Amazon is doing anything shady in settings its prices. You can play along with us if you have a computer with Internet access and nothing better to do. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
Thu, 13 Nov 2008 19:00:00 GMTGood morning AND welcome. This episode begins with another Nature Walk. Hooray! Warren was watching a movie by M. Night Shyamalan, and the one thing that shattered his suspension of disbelief was a quotation of Einstein on a science classroom board suggesting that if bees vanished, humans would quickly go extinct. Strangely, Warren is more sceptical than Luc about this "fact", perhaps because Luc considers the importance of bees for humans to stretch slightly beyond their delicious contributions of honey to our world. Then in Good Idea/Bad Idea, Warren asks if hybrid car owners deserve special nearby parking spaces. What about walkers and cyclists? Don't they deserve special parking privileges? What about people who drive an El Camino? Or doorless Jeeps? If you own any of these, email us (email@example.com) so John can make an appointment to kick you in the balls. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.