Last Build Date: Tue, 12 Jul 2016 10:12:57 GMTCopyright: NOINDEX
Tue, 12 Jul 2016 10:12:57 GMTHow long does it take to wean a child from you? Most breastfeeding mothers would say in about two years from birth, they let their child naturally wean away. Mothers following the attachment parenting route would agree and also look at co-sleeping with their child believing that it helps them to be secure and confident, also less whiny. Don't know about the less whiny bit, but what they don't tell you about attachment parenting is that some mothers like me find it really tough when their kids finally do wean away. Not just weaning from breastfeeding. Even the emotional Cancerian that I am, I was happy that it came to an end. It seemed like a never ending process and the amount of time invested in being a human pacifier is mind boggling and exhausting. All wonderful but exhausting. The weaning that Im talking about is when the child finally sleeps in their own bed, away from the parent.
Tue, 24 Sep 2013 07:26:53 GMTIt's interesting to see how communicative you are. You coo and gurgle a lot more than your brother at this age. It's almost like one can have a conversation with you with your cooing responses. Your gurgling began quite early, within two weeks of birth.
Mon, 03 Sep 2012 20:25:17 GMTBeing a mother is by far the best thing I've ever done. Cliched as it may sound and tough as it is in reality, it is the most life altering act, in a good way.
Sat, 09 Jun 2012 07:14:37 GMTIt's a funny feeling, letting go of your child as he takes his first steps out of the confines of home to explore the world and interact with other little people and large ones too through a seemingly happy medium termed the play school. I was getting all emotional about the day and went on about how fast the boy had grown. I was working up a huge emotional faucet. Just that, when I reached school, there was no time for such high drama with too much action all around, what with 20 kids, looking around in wide eyed wonder accompanied by 20 more anxious mothers and in some cases, the father.
Sat, 28 Apr 2012 04:58:13 GMTI love observing people. If there was a way I could learn to monetize this speciality, I could do wonders. I could be a psychologist but that is way too much effort. Being a stay-at-home mum (never knew I would end up using this term for myself), I often feel isolated in a world where one's life is largely dictated by this toddler and his whims and though he is adorable and mine and all of that, it does get to me sometimes. In such times, I choose the outlet of attending a house party or some such social evening. Watching other like species often rejuvenates and at certain times leaves me very grateful for what I have. So, it really is a win-win. - Going to these dos often leaves me baffled. For one, most of the Indian women these days seem to be dressed in attire that suddenly seems very alien...cleavage showing tops, short dresses....shorter the better. Not that I mind it. I wear some of these myself. Super if people are comfortable with their bodies. I am all for confidence but what irks me is when dress sense is equated to being liberal or 'modern' or 'hip'...it's truly sad when labels like 'behenji' becomes such an easy stamp, almost like a "made in india" tag, for anyone who chooses to dress Indian (read, ethnic salwar kameez/ sari) So, while I was fitting in and doing the social talk, I happened to be caught between two women, meeting for the first time. One, who was down on a brief visit to India from the US and another, who was married to Mr. Moneybags, who kept US time and hence was on conference calls at twilight hour, India time. So, given her predicament, the lady sadly exclaimed that she wasn't getting any. That took me some time to register. Once I heard loud guffaws from the US return is when it 'chamkoed'. Ah, funny or not! Talking sex is again viewed as being'cool' and this chick was trying so hard. Another cool factor these days is having nannies / maids around to help with the kids. These are now the new fashion statement and they are taken everywhere, to restaurants and even out of town vacations. I seem to be the only sore thumb to this rule. So, while I try and feed the boy, I see several nannies run around kids while the mothers have some time socializing. Maybe, I am a sucker for punishment but I just can't get used to the idea. I have to admit that the idea is fantastic, anything to get some time off but for me, getting the 'right' nanny whom I would be comfortable with seems a far more daunting task. Besides, most of them seem more stylishly dressed than I. Having a hip nanny may end up making me look like the maid! So, in wanting to keep my mummy status intact, I abandon the nagging nanny thought.Then, there are the single men who on seeing a kid, love to look involved and interested by wanting to carry them. If you pay close attention, there will always be a girl around to impress. Nothing gets a woman better than a man with paternal / nurturing instincts.Then, there are those, who are truly talented and gifted and completely ill at ease at these cool dos. I find them most interesting actually. I kept observing the one person who seemed to be observing everyone else. He happened to be one of the stalwarts of Indian advertising. As my eyes tailed him, I realized he was the most down to earth person there. Quiet and observant, he was just taking it all in. Later as I heard his loud laughter and his easy banter in pure Hindi, a language not spoken as well these days, I was in awe. I think that's what people with pure talent and charisma do...they don't work too hard at creating perceptions with trivial banter. They are comfortable being themselves and in being who they are, they truly stand out. It's not surprising that this deep person had come up with such amazing creative lines like... "Har ghar kuch kehata hai". As deep as his baritone and as loud as his laughter[...]
Wed, 29 Feb 2012 20:33:16 GMTDear Boy,Childhood is a great time. Enjoy this time thoroughly. Please do not be in a hurry to grow up. Once you do, you will so miss these days of carefree abandon. I had a good childhood and a pretty secure and sheltered life throughout actually. With two older male siblings to contend with, I also had my share of growing up to do, through supposed and real sibling dynamics. I am not certain if you will have another sibling yet but having one, for sure will define you and your character quite substantially.As of now, as I see you grow, I hope the characteristics that are part of you today continue to define who you are...Enjoy the small things: I love motherhood, if only for the times that I witness such sense of awe in everything that you see and do. It is so un jaded and so pure that for once, I am made to drop all cynicism and be so excited about a passing truck, the setting sun, a scraggly dog, an approaching train and the full moon! Children really do that for you...they bring in the sunshine to everything mundane. I so love your excitement and your sense of Wow in all that you see and narrate. I wish I could be like that...more than anything, I really wish you always have this amazing trait as part of who you are.Stay positive. Stay Happy: As a child, you don't know how to keep grudges and you don't spend too much time worrying. As adults, we make that our preoccupation. Now, if you don't like something, you whine about it but then get distracted with something else and move on. That's how it should be with life. Don't mope around. Find a solution, do things that make you happy and really be positive.Don't be quick to Judge: The beauty about you right now, is that you just don't judge or notice people's differences be it in skin color or religion (yes, that is too far fetched, as of now) or even financial status. The best part for me is when you meet white or black folks and don't flinch or think anything different of their coloring. That's fantastic! As you grow, you will be influenced by society and your peers and will be more tuned to see these differences but I want you to know that there was a time when none of these preconceived notions were part of you. A time, when you judged someone on the basis of how they treated you rather than who they were.Believe in Magic: Just after your second birthday, we celebrated Christmas, as one big family at our home. I wanted you to feel the excitement of Christmas and really built the entire anticipation of Santa Claus. I wanted to create that illusion for you. So, I was thrilled when I saw you so super excited about Santa and the gifts under the Xmas tree. You just couldn't contain yourself. You woke up everyone else, pleading with them to take a look at all the presents that Santa had got. It was the most beautiful sight. I was so drawn that I forgot to record that moment. I wish I had. I hope you will always believe in Magic, in knowing that all is possible. With older siblings playing spoilt sports, I had to forego that sense of wonder, when I was told that Santa didn't exist or that the coin under my pillow wasn't kept there by the tooth fairy. It really broke my heart. I hope we can prolong this sense of magic for you as long as we can....and as long as we can warn our extended family of dire consequences if they chose to blurt it to you. Waking up with a sense of excitement on Christmas day is pure magic. May you never lose that for a long time...Love your traditions: Be it Diwali, Christmas or any family traditions, enjoy and embrace it. Be just as happy as you are right now about the Diwali early morning bath ritual or lighting sparklers and putting the 'diyas' around the house. About adorning the Christmas tree and listening to carols as we do it. We try to keep these traditions alive for you, knowing that somewhere in your subconscious mind, this is all being registe[...]
Sat, 04 Feb 2012 07:10:25 GMTAn old house?...hmmmm ok ...NOW .... a 100 year old house? WOW... get it?That's what my husband and I thought too. Well, the husband being an architect was educationally qualified to go cuckoo over the construct and conduit of a house. Not me, the humble Corporate Communications person. But cuckoo we both are about house decor and of beautiful things in general.Now, I would never have the gumption to move anywhere, if it weren't for someone to push me in the rear or at least make some good logical sense to make me want to move from my comfort zone. I will have to admit...I am human...I like being in my comfort space, surrounded by the familiar and the family and the routes and sights I have known for all my life. In all my 30 + years of existence, I haven't moved away from Bombay. I guess it was time to do some experimenting, by moving into our own home, away from home.What better time than just when you've had a baby, right? Wrong! Which morons in their right minds would want to change their lives so drastically? US! Having a baby was in itself was the most life altering act and to make it even more interesting, we had to embark on this journey, with no family support, no house help, no maids and no nannies and no creches! How brilliant. I don't know what it was that made us do what we did but we did and have survived to tell the tale.I do believe in Signs, signs that the universe signals at us, for our inner antennae to tune into. The one big sign, that I couldn't possibly miss, even if all my tuning was kaput. My little boy decided to come into this world on December 19th, Goa's Liberation Day! What more can I say...besides all the many other rational reasons to this move, this one for me spelled it out loud. Go Goa, is what i heard.It's been a hard one year, there have been several battles that escalated to full blown wars as we tried to cope with living in Goa. I have to say, Goa does not embrace you immediately. She loves the dalliance of fleeting tourists but for people who stand ground, she makes them work hard and only when she was convinced in some strange, twisted way that we had earned her respect, is when she relented. Relented, to make it easier on us, relented to be patient with us as we were struggling to come to terms with all the challenges she threw at us and finally, accepting US as we accepted her. It is only now that we can say, yup...this is home...even if i may say so reluctantly...for now... as my love, Bombay is seen smarting over my supposed infidelity.Through all of these struggles, I can't help but be so damn proud of ourselves. Where most people are risk / change averse in their mid life, we took a plunge into unchartered territory with baby in tow. The husband took it upon himself to shoulder on the responsibility of being the sole bread earner while I took it upon me to be a mum, the best way I know, hands on, often on my fours.And from that position of utter humility and despair at times, I see the bigger picture. The bigger picture of shaping this child in this fantastic environment, the quality of family time, the essence of being who you are and enjoying the simple things of life and really for once Living...living a dream that I possibly didn't dream for myself but am so happy and grateful that it is part of my destiny.Living under an open roof while the roof was being repaired.[...]
Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:39:37 GMTPrayer of a toddler's mother: Lord, give me the strength to handle this child, the serenity to not punch him when I'm tried and the wisdom to know better than to cry....
Tue, 04 Oct 2011 06:45:02 GMTOur Bangalore trip was fun. The highlight was seeing our friend, maaku on lavell road. That was a sight. You were so taken aback to see him right there, in front of you. The best part was him scratchings his crotch...you now imitate that well!
Wed, 25 May 2011 18:34:34 GMTIt's a tough one being a full time mum, giving up a supposedly good corporate job, chuck away the secure money, trade the confines of an AC cubicle to being a harried mum on call 24/7. Not a pretty picture.This was a decision that was also spurred because of our larger decision to move out of Bombay (at least for a while) to the more relaxed Goa. Yes, that sounds ideal but I'll talk about that later.After having Dhruv, I was kind of certain that a full time job wouldn't do justice to the boy and me. I would have been a holy mess trying to juggle it all and I think I would have screwed up on either or both. Flexi time was what my employer did give me for 5 months after I resumed and I was ever so grateful to them but I knew the honeymoon would end and they would obviously expect me to do full time. I also have these strong views on grandparents raising your kid. Though it's wonderful to have grandparents around, I think it is extremely selfish on the part of parents to parcel their kids to the grandparents. Firstly, they have already done their bit in raising these parents (and having dealt with Dhruv for 17 months, I can safely say that it is bloody exhausting), secondly they need to live their lives. Most of them (grandparents) are at a much older age than before given that our generation is having babies later. So that option was clearly out for me...not that my mum was offering, wise woman that she is.So the next option was to find a maid / care giver that I could completely rely on. So I did just that. I got a lady who was at large a lovely person who also loved my boy and took good care of him. She was of great help when I resumed work post maternity leave. It was alright while I did flexi time and given her timings, she couldn't be there full time for me either. So it was apparent that I was coming to a dead end soon. In India, I could never rely on day care centers so that really wasn't an option. So in the end, all signs seemed to indicate what I always thought would be the only option...to quit and commit my time to the boy. I can't but help recall the various reactions I got at work to my throwing in the towel. What amazed me were the reactions from other women in office. For a lot of single women and those who were reporting to me, it was like I had let them down. I can understand why. Here they were, trying to climb the corporate ladder, doing all that they could to make it happen and then they see me just give it up for a baby. I remember my colleague asking me..."so is this it? You work all these years to get where you have and you just give it up for a baby? And, how dead boring can it be just being with a child." I couldn't give her any conclusive answers and I really didn't want to deject her with the 'glass ceiling' stuff or go down the road that women have to make tougher decisions. To each his own. I never was a big one to define my life by a corporate designation but there are others for whom it is a lease of life. So was I not living up to the image of a superwoman who could triple hat and manage career, home and baby with the dexterity of a composer? Nah, I was just being human.To some other women (and I did have a few of them) who had delivered within months of my delivery, it was a twinge of envy camouflaged by an outward dismissiveness. A lot of them were of the opinion that I would get bored with such a mundane task. It was so important to have mental stimulation. How could I tell them that to me, the job at times was the least stimulating but who was I to argue. I was only a pro baby quitter. For most of the men, it was such a chauvinistic reaction....almost like they were expecting it. I mentally slapped a complete prick of a Marketing guy who suggested that I do some NGO work. Fucker.Now, though largely I enjoy the time with Dhruv, however exhausting[...]
Mon, 30 Aug 2010 09:51:31 GMTI am new to this parenting experience and one of the things that pisses me off the most (thankfully it has nothing to do with the boy)is the need for most people to come up with prompt comments on who the child looks like.
Mon, 12 Jul 2010 10:56:15 GMTOne of the most interesting things that parenthood throws up is paranoia...a kind that you think you would never succumb to.
Tue, 21 Oct 2008 09:06:36 GMTMy little Cherie has now grown up.
Wed, 15 Oct 2008 11:52:20 GMT
Thu, 08 May 2008 08:07:02 GMTOh damn, this is my first lesson in running a home.
Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:16:40 GMT...And I'm back after a fairly long hiatus.
Sun, 14 Oct 2007 11:00:16 GMT
Seven years ago, I met an interesting guy who saved me from a long wait for a cab by generously offering me a lift.
I didn't realise then that I had embarked on a journey, quite unknowingly. Time ticked by as we happily engaged in deep conversations, even deeper arguments, to soon realise that we were the best of friends.
In ten days from now, my best friend and I will have given this journey and relationship a new label.
As we exchange marriage wows, and call each other 'husband' and 'wife', we hope never to lose out on where we started...enjoying the journey and continuing to be the best of friends.
Life couldn't be more magical.
Wish us luck.
Fri, 11 May 2007 08:05:14 GMT
I caught myself thinking of how I've been running, thinking and doing a zillion things when all I need to do is slow down. Need to just take a deep breath and enjoy life for what it is rather than making it a practise in ticking off the chores in my head. My head in any case is a time bomb waiting to explode. I sometimes am amazed at the constant buzz in my head. I don't just leave the worrying to me. I extend it to those I hold dear...my dear dear friends who are beseiged by my need to talk to gain clarity. This often happens in the midst of job changes and I send everyone in a tizz. A friend of mine recently joked, that he doesn't think of his own career changes with as much intensity as he does to mine! The perils of being my friend. Very soon, I'll have no one to lend me a ear.
I've also been thinking that it's time one gave back to society in whatever way possible. Monetary help is the easiest thing to do but it should transcend beyond that.
I also have a bug in me ...a bug that makes me want to do different things. I am never satisfied...always looking for more. I may be a good candidate for a meditation class.
I also hate pretentious people with double standards. It annoys me to the point of wanting to sock them in the face.
They affect me...even when I know better.
Another part of growing up (albeit a little late in life) is in knowing that there will always be only a few who truly care for you. The rest of the morons who you give a lot of credit to are just that, MORONS. It's important to decipher the difference and take away some of the credit you so easily dole out to them.
...And I like Simon Cowell and his straight, forthright and acerbic comments. Love him for that.
And for once I like Bush and his dithering self. So big deal if he made that gaffe at the Queen. It actually made him seem like a little vulnerable boy. Besides, the way it was handled both ways definitely helped the Monarchy project a less stuffy image as for Bush, I'd wink at him.
Happy Weekend you all!
Mon, 16 Apr 2007 12:45:15 GMT
The saccharin sweet story of the Knight in Shining Armour and the Princess of Bollywood is getting me quite queasy.
What's worse is that everything about this Ace wedding is so annoyingly traditional and steretypical that it makes me cringe.
One would think that the Bachchans would be a progressive and liberal but of course that's far from the truth. If they could actually perform a ritual and make Ash marry a tree because of her Manglik status, that just shows the state of their minds. The Big B's (Amitabh Bachchan) numerous temple yatras across India to solicit divine intervention and his various rings on his fingers only add credence to their deeply whacko minds.
Then the mother-in-law to be be, Jaya Bachchan goes on to elaborate the qualities of her daughter-in-law as being dignified, quiet, knows when to step back etc etc. This, in a way riled me because it is so important for these people, and by them I mean, the majority of Indians, to have women cow down, be a source of strength and support by their quiet demeanour. Let's not topple the apple cart, let's not question, let's just go with the flow and if they tell you to marry a tree, if they tell you to go through umpteen number of rituals to appease the various gods, do so quietly in the bigger interest of being a Bachchan bahu. Whatever happened to the Woman of Substance or maybe this is their definition.
What irked me even more was when JB went on about how her daughter is no more a Bachchan....this again is another deep rooted traditional belief amongst the majority. If a daughter gets married, she goes into another house and her place in her maternal house is no more. These traditional, inane and deep rooted expectations are so regressive that even in today's day and age, to have people being party to this nonsense is infuriating.
Even as I vent, I know I will be subjected to much torture with the many updates of their wedding. And I know, I will still read them and still get affected and continue to vent.
Tue, 10 Apr 2007 11:23:19 GMTBlessed are those who make their passion their vocation.
Fri, 30 Mar 2007 11:52:42 GMTWatching Little Miss Sunshine left me grinning and thinking to myself that this is pretty much what all families are all about. Dysfunctional if you look closely yet so real that you can empathise with each of them and understand where they come from. It's the same with friends, who are the external family that we choose, the family created out of our choice.It got me thinking of my pals...the five of us, who have known each other for more than a decade. Amongst the five, each has their own preferences and dynamics within the group yet we are part of that inexplicable bond. Sometimes, I can't fathom what it is that brought us together. Maybe the spiritedness of youth, the hanging together in college, the crazy times together and the fun and laughter that we shared then have kept us together, even if we do not share that much anymore on a daily basis.Each one of us is so different and so cuckoo in our own ways.Gee was the boisterous one in college who often intimated others in her 'Punju' aggressive manner. She wasn't too concerned about fashion or clothes or anything feminine. She was the life of our group though, with her mad laughter and mimicry. She was also prudish (but so were we all) and always wondered how she'd manage with the boys.Mirch was the fat, insecure one who hid behind loose clothes and who hated being photographed. She was happy to merge into the foliage. She actually was the tree in one of our plays in college and I haven't seen anyone more happy to play that role.Shwets was the studious one, and the sexy one, with her curly long locks and long legs. She also was the one to ace her Psychology papers. She was more keen on having many relationships rather than getting married to the first right person that came her way.Fats was the sporty one who had the ability to bond with a stranger in record time and could get them to discuss the most private parts of their lives. She could sit with complete strangers and discuss the most personal, embarassing and uncomfortable issues with such ease. No wonder, she went on to be a counsellor. She has had some of the most arbit relationships with arbit people.And then there was Me, the safe one. I loved observing and continue to do so...I could be part of the group yet be detached and guarded my personal space. I was the people's person so pretty much got along with most yet didn't know when and how to say No. I was constantly wanting to do the 'right' thing.Cut to today, a decade later these very same people have changed so muchGee is living in with her boyfriend and is more concerned about the way she looks and actually wears designer stuff! Thankfully, her mad laughter is still intact and never tires of repeating the same old stories over and over again. She is also into Crystal therapy and meditation and connecting with the spirit world! As whacko as it gets.Mirch, from being the fat one in college, has now turned into the most svelte one in the group, with an amazing figure and an even more sassy attitude. She is doing stellar in her Sales job and turns down men like they don't exist. Payback time!Shwets has done her Phd in Psychology and from wanting to have many relationships, she ended up marrying the first guy she had a serious relationship with.Fats continues to bond with strangers but with a one year old in tow, doesn't ge[...]
Tue, 13 Mar 2007 10:31:20 GMTHope and Doubt...my friend has lived through these emotions so strongly in the last few years that the true meaning of these words becomes even more real for me today.
Thu, 08 Mar 2007 08:22:10 GMTOn Women's Day, I'd like to doff my hat to the men who have made my life so interesting.
Thu, 01 Mar 2007 09:38:24 GMTSometimes I am just so bored with an adult existence. In having to prove yourself, in getting a good job, in earning the big moolah, in playing the rat race and in being part of the serious corporate rigmarole, in showing interest in the implications of the Budget, in getting wrapped up in EMIs and where to invest what. Sometimes I wish I could just break through ...
Wed, 07 Feb 2007 18:02:01 GMTI have been meaning to upload some pictures from my Europe trip in Sept 06.