Published: 23 Mar 2017 00:25:02 -0000
Last Build Date: 23 Mar 2017 00:25:02 -0000
Thu, 23 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT"Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people."
Thu, 23 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT"The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists in the circulation of their blood."
Thu, 23 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT"Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten."
Thu, 23 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT"The only thing that's been a worse flop than the organization of non-violence has been the organization of violence."
Wed, 22 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT"I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like walking or carrying things. "
Wed, 22 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT"It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them."
Wed, 22 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT"Nothing ever goes away."
Wed, 22 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'"
Tue, 21 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT"Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and have streamers in their antlers because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot."
Tue, 21 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT"Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense, differing from the latter only as a veteran may differ from a raw recruit: and its methods differ from those of common sense only as far as the guardsman's cut and thrust differ from the manner in which a savage wields his club."
Tue, 21 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT"I improve on misquotation."
Tue, 21 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT"I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out there marked 'Occupant.'"