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I Watch Stuff

Movie news that respects your personal boundaries and safety words.

Last Build Date: Thu, 18 May 2017 22:45:38 -0800

Copyright: Copyright 2017

Here's your first look at Amber Heard as Mera in 'Aquaman'

Thu, 18 May 2017 22:45:38 -0800

(image) Director James Wan posted this behind-the-scenes photo from the first day of shooting with Amber Heard as Mera for his upcoming Aquaman adaptation. You'd be forgiven if you thought it was Rita Repulsa cosplay at first. Or a live-action adaptation of The Little Mermaid.

Unfortunately, here's the official trailer for 'The Emoji Movie'

Tue, 16 May 2017 16:00:37 -0800

(image) Despite all logic and reason, Sony Pictures actually completed and is releasing The Emoji Movie. Starring T.J. Miller as a *sigh* emoji, I can't help but pity every parent that's going to be forced to watch this with their kids. Also, of course there's a poop joke. You couldn't have a film of this caliber without a poop joke.

Official trailer for Seth MacFarlane's live action show 'The Orville'

Tue, 16 May 2017 15:50:02 -0800

(image) Ever wonder what Galaxy Quest would've been like if it starred and was written by Seth MacFarlane and was directed by John Favreau? Well wonder no more, because The Orville is basically that, but for TV.

The final trailer for 'War for the Planet of the Apes' shows the full extent of CGI apes

Tue, 16 May 2017 15:19:57 -0800

(image) Here's the final trailer for War for the Planet of the Apes. It seems we're nearing the limit of CGI animals, because there are scenes here where the CGI talking apes are indistinguishable from the real talking apes. I mean, wait, what? You know I mean. Fake monkey look real. Hopefully there's more depth than what the trailer suggests, because they're emphasizing a whole lot of action and not very much else.

'Twin Peaks' is coming back and here's the trailer

Fri, 12 May 2017 04:12:29 -0800

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You can tell David Lynch is involved because everything looks weird as fuck. It's like True Detective, but with less (more?) magical realism. Which seems like the original pitch for True Detective, but in reference to the original Twin Peaks. I'm now as confused as I'll probably be after watching the actual show.

The final official trailer for 'Wonder Woman'

Mon, 08 May 2017 14:25:08 -0800

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I was hoping they would lay off the Dragon Ball Z mega effect explosions, but I guess the DC Cinematic Universe is too tied to the visuals set by Zack Snyder. This still has potential to be the best DC film though, and I'm not just saying that because of Gal Gadot. Oh, wait, yes I am. Yes I am.

The first full-length trailer for 'Blade Runner 2049'

Mon, 08 May 2017 14:13:31 -0800

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The first full trailer for Denis Villeneuve's take on Blade Runner is here and it looks appropriately impressive for something involving Denis Villeneuve, Ryan Gosling, and Harrison Ford. Ghost in the Shell kind of missed the mark, but that's because they didn't properly embrace the color palette set by Mad Max: Fury Road. And by color palette I mean orange. A lot of orange. That's clearly the key to making a quality neo-noir world. I'm talking Donald Trump orange.

The official trailer for Christopher Nolan's 'Dunkirk'

Fri, 05 May 2017 16:23:07 -0800

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I had some hesitation about watching a movie about non-U.S. soldiers, but then I realized I wasn't racist and that Christopher Nolan is a genius. The new official trailer for Dunkirk reveals an emphasis on non-military personnel, dog fights, and ticking clocks.

Idris Elba is really good at reloading in the trailer for 'The Dark Tower'

Wed, 03 May 2017 17:24:50 -0800

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If you've read Stephen King's The Dark Tower, you won't recognize whatever this is. If you haven't, you'd assume The Dark Tower was about a badass cowboy who loads his gun in badass ways and then engages in a bunch of modern action scenes. Which is pretty cool too I guess, but kind of misses the Western tone of the original novels.

Here's your budget-Avengers trailer for Marvel's 'The Defenders'

Wed, 03 May 2017 14:17:42 -0800

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What do you get when you mix three mostly-pretty-good Netflix Marvel shows with one pretty bad Netflix Marvel show? You get The Defenders, which is like The Avengers, but without the fancy powers and big budgets. They should really call it Rosario Dawson's New York Superhero Team, since her character seems to be the common thread in all the shows that brings everybody together. Anyway, here's the trailer.

'The Crossing' - an official prologue short to 'Alien: Covenant'

Thu, 27 Apr 2017 15:55:52 -0800

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This official short reveals what happened to crew members Dr. Elizabeth Shaw and the synthetic David after the events of Prometheus. Set aboard an abandoned Engineer vessel, Dr. Shaw repairs David as they continue their search for humanity's creators. I'm assuming this wasn't actually shot as a separate short and was patched together using footage from the upcoming Alien: Covenant movie, because the production values are way too high. If these scenes don't appear in the final movie I'll be pleasantly surprised, but until then, let's assume I'm right and this is just some strange variation of a normal trailer that they want to call a short.

The official 'Cars 3' trailer pretty much pretends 'Cars 2' never happened

Wed, 26 Apr 2017 14:23:51 -0800

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Looks like they're moving away from whatever the hell it is they did with Cars 2 and are taking a more Pixar approach this time. "Pixar approach" meaning good. A good approach. The opposite of Cars 2, because Cars 2 is destined to be the Tokyo Drift of Cars.

Official spoiler-laden trailer for 'Kingsman: The Golden Circle'

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 16:33:09 -0800

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If you don't want to be spoiled, don't watch this trailer. If you don't want to be spoiled, stop reading now. Seriously. There's a spoiler coming up and I'm burying it in as much text as possible but it's impossible to ignore. Okay? You've stopped reading? Good. Colin Firth is alive?! Not really sure how they plan on explaining his resurrection, since an eye patch doesn't really cut it when somebody gets shot in the head. Unless, ya know, super spy glasses that are also bullet proof so when Samuel L. Jackson shoots him it only results in an eye injury instead of his brains exploding everywhere. Actually, that's probably it. Either that, or it's some Mission Impossible fake-face-mask stuff going on.

How rearranging 'Passengers' could've made it less bad (spoilers)

Wed, 19 Apr 2017 12:19:51 -0800

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Passengers wasn't the worst movie ever, but in this video The Nerdwriter explores how some rearranging could've made it significantly better. They're good suggestions, and the fact the movie wasn't made this way says something about Hollywood. I'm not sure exactly what it is that's being said, but you can be sure there's some saying going on. Also, obviously SPOILERS if you haven't seen the movie.

'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' teaser trailer

Fri, 14 Apr 2017 18:02:39 -0800

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The official teaser trailer for Rian Johnson's Star Wars: The Last Jedi was just released and, like The Force Awakens teaser, opens with an out of breath character suddenly appearing on screen. This is a strange trend, and I can only imagine they're building to the Star Wars IX teaser trailer which opens with an out of breath Kylo Ren, probably also a little sweaty for some reason. Also, whoever's in charge of the theme variations they keep coming out with for these trailers deserves a raise. I don't even know how much they got paid, but it needs to be more.

'Star Wars' made this wonderful tribute to Carrie Fisher

Thu, 13 Apr 2017 17:22:58 -0800

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It's funny because they included the scene of Princess Leia kissing her brother. It's not funny because everything else about this is horribly sad. Why couldn't they have just compiled clips of Carrie Fisher being a horrible person that nobody liked? Like kicking a puppy or something. Then this video wouldn't have been so damn depressing.

Here's the surprisingly lighthearted 'Thor: Ragnarok' teaser trailer

Mon, 10 Apr 2017 15:13:41 -0800

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The new teaser trailer for Thor: Ragnarok feels like the tonal opposite of Thor: The Dark World, basically going for light and fun versus dark and serious. Which seems fitting, since director Taika Waititi is also the man responsible for What We Do in the Shadows. It's also impossible to talk about the trailer without mentioning how incredible Cate Blanchet looks as the Asgardian goddess of death Hela. 47-year-old women aren't supposed to look that badass. I should know, I'm a sexist.

Brendan Fraserless Mummy movie still happening in the new 'The Mummy' trailer

Mon, 03 Apr 2017 04:26:13 -0800

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Call it whatever you want, but everybody knows that without Brendan Fraser this is just Mission Impossible: Egyptian Monster Lady. Also, at what point should we expect Tom Cruise to start aging? It's been a few decades now and I feel like it should start happening any moment now.

Joss Whedon betrays Marvel to direct 'Batgirl' standalone film

Thu, 30 Mar 2017 17:24:07 -0800

(image) According to Variety, Joss Whedon is nearing a deal to write, direct, and produce an untitled Batgirl film for Warner Bros. as part of its DC Extended Universe. Joss Whedon directed both Avengers films but made a clean break with the Marvel Cinematic Universe after finishing Age of Ultron. He stated at the time he wanted to distance himself from Marvel to work on other projects, but nobody expected "other projects" to mean the DC Extended Universe. This means we might actually end up with a DC film that's fun and uses more colors than gray and darker gray.

New 'It' trailer very much like the original 'It' but newer

Thu, 30 Mar 2017 03:25:35 -0800

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For anybody looking to keep up the tradition of being afraid of clowns, here's the official teaser trailer for the upcoming It remake.

New official trailer for 'Baywatch,' starring muscles and jiggly bits

Wed, 22 Mar 2017 13:49:21 -0800

(image) Hey, it's 21 Jump Street, beach addition.

Here's the teaser for Netflix's live-action 'Death Note' movie

Wed, 22 Mar 2017 13:18:19 -0800

(image) You've probably heard of Death Note even if you've never seen it or know what it's about because it's one of the most popular anime of all time. Here's the teaser for the Netflix live-action remake which premieres on August 25th, continuing the long American tradition of taking "international phenomenons" and making them White. Although I will give them credit for showing enough restraint to not end the teaser with a shot of Ryuk accompanied with scary brrrooowowwowow music.

'Rogue One' spliced together with 'A New Hope'

Wed, 22 Mar 2017 13:06:23 -0800

(image) Barre Fong took the liberty of doing what every Star Wars fan did in their head when watching Rogue One and spliced on the beginning of A New Hope to continue where Rogue One left off. There's actually not a lot of splicing needed though, since he essentially just removed the end credits of Rogue One and opening roll from A New Hope and played them back to back to create an extended version of Darth Vader's boarding scene.

Netflix decides they value thumbs more than stars

Thu, 16 Mar 2017 22:00:36 -0800

(image) Speaking at a press briefing, Netflix's VP of Product Todd Yellin told reporters they'd be eliminating the five star rating and moving towards a thumbs up and thumbs down system similar to Pandora. According to Variety:
However, over time, Netflix realized that explicit star ratings were less relevant than other signals. Users would rate documentaries with 5 stars, and silly movies with just 3 stars, but still watch silly movies more often than those high-rated documentaries. "We made ratings less important because the implicit signal of your behavior is more important," Yellin said.
In addition to the thumbs ratings, they'll be attaching a percentage-match feature that gives a numerical value to how closely a show or movie will match an individual's taste, although shows that fall under 50% won't display a rating. So in case you were deciding between the new Adam Sandler movie or Memento, you won't have to rely on the overly broad rating of a thumbs up. If this is all too complicated, it's basically the same system as YouTube or PornHub. I mean, wait, what's PornHub? I've never even heard of or been to that site.