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I Watch Stuff



Movie news that respects your personal boundaries and safety words.



Last Build Date: Fri, 21 Jul 2017 14:34:01 -0800

Copyright: Copyright 2017
 



Official Comic-Con trailer for 'Triple Threat' starring every badass Asian action star and Michael Jai White

Fri, 21 Jul 2017 14:34:01 -0800

(image) Here's the official Comic-Con trailer for Triple Threat, starring Starring Tony Jaa, Iko Uwais, Tiger Chen, Celina Jade, Michael Jai White, Jeeja Yanin, and Michael Bisping. If the names Tony Jaa and Iko Uwais don't sound familiar, they're the guys from the Ong Bak and The Raid series respectively. That alone brings so much action credibility to this it's insane. Between the two of them they've probably injured or killed like 40 stuntmen or something. I mean, not really, but if you watch the movies it's hard to imagine some of those stuntmen aren't permanently paralyzed or dead. I'm sure there's a synopsis of the movie, but who cares. Watching this for the gripping plot would be like watching a Keanu Reeves movie for the acting.



Jigsaw finally gets his name in the title in this trailer for the newest 'Saw' film

Thu, 20 Jul 2017 16:29:12 -0800

(image) I believe this is technically Saw VIII, but they've decided to go with Jigsaw for the title because maybe the producers have lost faith in the audience's ability to figure out roman numerals. What really worked in the earlier films was how simple the traps were, focusing more on the psychological aspects of the victims. Now it's like Jigsaw has a team of NASA scientists working around the clock to get these things assembled.



Guillermo del Toro's 'The Shape of Water' is probably a 'Hellboy' prequel

Wed, 19 Jul 2017 14:25:37 -0800

(image) They can pretend all they want this is some standalone water creature movie, but there's no way this isn't a Hellboy prequel and probably an origin story for Abe Sapien. I don't care what anybody says. It's Guillermo del Toro and everything points to this fish-man-thing as being Abe Sapien. Sure, they didn't title it Abe Sapien: The Movie, but it's still very clearly a movie about Abe Sapien. Even if the creature turns out to be called something else and has a completely different origin story and ends up dying, it's still an Abe Sapien origin movie. Even if it's actually a re-imagining of Creature from the Black Lagoon it's still an Abe Sapien origin movie. That's just how these things work. UPDATE: Guillermo del Toro has blatantly denied this is an Abe Sapien prequel. But, ya know, if you ask me it's still definitely an Abe Sapien prequel.



The first teaser trailer for that movie about the making of 'The Room'

Tue, 18 Jul 2017 15:42:00 -0800

(image) Sorry for the lack of updates. We've been trying to figure out what to do with the site and clearly we've decided on turning it into a Tommy Wiseau fan dedication page. Anyway, to anybody still checking in, here's the first teaser trailer for The Disaster Artist, the film chronicling the making of Tommy Wiseau's legendary film The Room. People who have already screened the film have been praising James Franco's portrayal of Tommy Wisseau, so I'm going to assume either they're liars or this clip isn't representative of the whole movie since he doesn't seem to be nailing the essence of Tommy Wiseau here. His accent is too understandable and, honestly, the actual Tommy Wiseau seems like more of a caricature than Franco's caricature of him.



An analysis of why we love terrible films like 'The Room'

Wed, 14 Jun 2017 16:11:43 -0800

(image) To be fair, if you don't love The Room, you either don't love movies or you've never seen The Room.



The 'Black Panther' teaser trailer is refreshingly badass

Sat, 10 Jun 2017 00:42:24 -0800

(image) If you ignore the Blade movies (and it seems like a lot of people are), Black Panther will be Marvel's first black superhero film. And just in case you weren't sure of that, they've made sure to push the native African art direction as hard as they're comfortable doing while not scaring away white people. It's a refreshing change from Marvel's standard aesthetic, and they've even gone so far as to switch up their generic superhero trailer score with what is clearly the coolest song ever used in a Marvel trailer.



The first teaser trailer for 'Murder on the Orient Express'

Thu, 01 Jun 2017 11:15:32 -0800

(image) The trailer looks fine enough, but the music selection is godawful. Does every period piece have to appeal to kids with stupid anachronistic music? This is an adaptation of an Agatha Christie novel, not a trailer for Fyre Festival.



Trailer for Steven Soderbergh's newest film 'Logan Lucky'

Tue, 30 May 2017 13:22:58 -0800

(image) Turns out Steven Soderbergh is a liar, because despite claiming he had retired from directing, here's the trailer for his newest film Logan Lucky. It feels like a redneck version of Ocean's 11, which seems fitting since that's basically how Soderbergh described it to EW:
On the most obvious level, it's the complete inversion of an Ocean's movie. It's an anti-glam version of an Ocean's movie. Nobody dresses nice. Nobody has nice stuff. They have no money. They have no technology. It's all rubber band technology, and that's what I thought was fun about it. It seemed familiar to me, but different enough. The landscape, the characters, and the canvass were the complete opposite of an Ocean's film. What was weird is that I was working as a producer on Ocean's Eight while we were shooting Logan, and it was kind of head-spinning. That's like a proper Ocean's film. This is a version of an Ocean's movie that's up on cement blocks in your front yard.
Channing Tatum has this weird knack for getting cast in subversively hilarious movies, especially when paired with Steven Soderbergh. At least that's what I tell people whenever they catch me watching Magic Mike on repeat. Logan Lucky comes out August 8, and it looks pretty good, despite the apparent lack of Channing Tatum's abs.



'The New Mutants' will be a full-on horror movie set in the Marvel universe

Thu, 25 May 2017 17:42:55 -0800

(image) Director Josh Boone has confirmed that the X-Men spin-off, The New Mutants, will be a horror movie. He told Entertainment Weekly:
"We are making a full-fledged horror movie set within the X-Men universe. There are no costumes. There are no supervillains. We're trying to do something very, very different."
Marvel had pretty great success branching out from the standard superhero models with Deadpool and Logan, so they'll probably find a way to make this work as well. A source close to the project has hinted that they'll be focusing on the mutants' teenage years, so there's also a possibility that their idea of horror is simply having to be around a group of teenagers. *shudder*



The best establishing, insert, and cutaway shots of all time

Thu, 25 May 2017 03:56:06 -0800

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CineFix used to be a horrible listacle YouTube channel, but lately they've been pumping out some quality content. Here's part three of their Best Shots of All Time series. You can find Part 1 here and Part 2 here. The first two parts focused on people and characters, but this one examines establishing, insert and cutaway shots. Unfortunately, they left out the true greatest shot of all time: the shot that Halle Berry takes while playing basketball in Catwoman.
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The final trailer for 'Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets'

Thu, 25 May 2017 03:34:23 -0800

(image) Here's the final trailer for Luc Besson's comic book-based space epic Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. Although using an orchestral version of Gangster's Paradise in your trailer seems like cheating because any video set to that music will automatically appear epic and amazing. You could film a dirty boot for two minutes while playing orchestral Gangster's Paradise and people will assume it's the next summer blockbuster of 2017.



New better trailer for 'Spider-Man: Homecoming'

Wed, 24 May 2017 15:49:47 -0800

(image) The new trailer for Spider-Man: Homecoming seems to finally understand the Spider-Man character and plays down the serious end-of-the-world action while cranking up the fun and levity. There's also a brief appearance by Donald Glover, who had originally been rumored to be playing Spider-Man himself. I'm holding out hope they're going to pull a Shyamalan twist and we'll get our alternate black Spider-Man, though probably not, since Marvel is in the business of making money and not pissing people off.



'I Hate Everything' discusses 'Sing' and 'Illumination Entertainment'

Mon, 22 May 2017 15:02:39 -0800

(image) Sing isn't as obviously terrible as some other movies, but it's representative of the larger problem of lazy animated movies being churned out by lazy studios with little artistic merit and an obvious focus on making money. There's definitely an emphasis on hating Sing here, but Mr. I Hate Everything applies his hate more broadly, discussing the problem with Illumination Entertainment in general and why their films fall short of their animated counterparts.



Here's your first look at Amber Heard as Mera in 'Aquaman'

Thu, 18 May 2017 22:45:38 -0800

(image) Director James Wan posted this behind-the-scenes photo from the first day of shooting with Amber Heard as Mera for his upcoming Aquaman adaptation. You'd be forgiven if you thought it was Rita Repulsa cosplay at first. Or a live-action adaptation of The Little Mermaid.



Unfortunately, here's the official trailer for 'The Emoji Movie'

Tue, 16 May 2017 16:00:37 -0800

(image) Despite all logic and reason, Sony Pictures actually completed and is releasing The Emoji Movie. Starring T.J. Miller as a *sigh* emoji, I can't help but pity every parent that's going to be forced to watch this with their kids. Also, of course there's a poop joke. You couldn't have a film of this caliber without a poop joke.



Official trailer for Seth MacFarlane's live action show 'The Orville'

Tue, 16 May 2017 15:50:02 -0800

(image) Ever wonder what Galaxy Quest would've been like if it starred and was written by Seth MacFarlane and was directed by John Favreau? Well wonder no more, because The Orville is basically that, but for TV.



The final trailer for 'War for the Planet of the Apes' shows the full extent of CGI apes

Tue, 16 May 2017 15:19:57 -0800

(image) Here's the final trailer for War for the Planet of the Apes. It seems we're nearing the limit of CGI animals, because there are scenes here where the CGI talking apes are indistinguishable from the real talking apes. I mean, wait, what? You know I mean. Fake monkey look real. Hopefully there's more depth than what the trailer suggests, because they're emphasizing a whole lot of action and not very much else.



'Twin Peaks' is coming back and here's the trailer

Fri, 12 May 2017 04:12:29 -0800

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You can tell David Lynch is involved because everything looks weird as fuck. It's like True Detective, but with less (more?) magical realism. Which seems like the original pitch for True Detective, but in reference to the original Twin Peaks. I'm now as confused as I'll probably be after watching the actual show.



The final official trailer for 'Wonder Woman'

Mon, 08 May 2017 14:25:08 -0800

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I was hoping they would lay off the Dragon Ball Z mega effect explosions, but I guess the DC Cinematic Universe is too tied to the visuals set by Zack Snyder. This still has potential to be the best DC film though, and I'm not just saying that because of Gal Gadot. Oh, wait, yes I am. Yes I am.



The first full-length trailer for 'Blade Runner 2049'

Mon, 08 May 2017 14:13:31 -0800

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The first full trailer for Denis Villeneuve's take on Blade Runner is here and it looks appropriately impressive for something involving Denis Villeneuve, Ryan Gosling, and Harrison Ford. Ghost in the Shell kind of missed the mark, but that's because they didn't properly embrace the color palette set by Mad Max: Fury Road. And by color palette I mean orange. A lot of orange. That's clearly the key to making a quality neo-noir world. I'm talking Donald Trump orange.



The official trailer for Christopher Nolan's 'Dunkirk'

Fri, 05 May 2017 16:23:07 -0800

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I had some hesitation about watching a movie about non-U.S. soldiers, but then I realized I wasn't racist and that Christopher Nolan is a genius. The new official trailer for Dunkirk reveals an emphasis on non-military personnel, dog fights, and ticking clocks.



Idris Elba is really good at reloading in the trailer for 'The Dark Tower'

Wed, 03 May 2017 17:24:50 -0800

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If you've read Stephen King's The Dark Tower, you won't recognize whatever this is. If you haven't, you'd assume The Dark Tower was about a badass cowboy who loads his gun in badass ways and then engages in a bunch of modern action scenes. Which is pretty cool too I guess, but kind of misses the Western tone of the original novels.



Here's your budget-Avengers trailer for Marvel's 'The Defenders'

Wed, 03 May 2017 14:17:42 -0800

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What do you get when you mix three mostly-pretty-good Netflix Marvel shows with one pretty bad Netflix Marvel show? You get The Defenders, which is like The Avengers, but without the fancy powers and big budgets. They should really call it Rosario Dawson's New York Superhero Team, since her character seems to be the common thread in all the shows that brings everybody together. Anyway, here's the trailer.



'The Crossing' - an official prologue short to 'Alien: Covenant'

Thu, 27 Apr 2017 15:55:52 -0800

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This official short reveals what happened to crew members Dr. Elizabeth Shaw and the synthetic David after the events of Prometheus. Set aboard an abandoned Engineer vessel, Dr. Shaw repairs David as they continue their search for humanity's creators. I'm assuming this wasn't actually shot as a separate short and was patched together using footage from the upcoming Alien: Covenant movie, because the production values are way too high. If these scenes don't appear in the final movie I'll be pleasantly surprised, but until then, let's assume I'm right and this is just some strange variation of a normal trailer that they want to call a short.