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I Watch Stuff

Movie news that respects your personal boundaries and safety words.

Last Build Date: Wed, 26 Apr 2017 14:23:51 -0800

Copyright: Copyright 2017

The official 'Cars 3' trailer pretty much pretends 'Cars 2' never happened

Wed, 26 Apr 2017 14:23:51 -0800

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Looks like they're moving away from whatever the hell it is they did with Cars 2 and are taking a more Pixar approach this time. "Pixar approach" meaning good. A good approach. The opposite of Cars 2, because Cars 2 is destined to be the Tokyo Drift of Cars.

Official spoiler-laden trailer for 'Kingsman: The Golden Circle'

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 16:33:09 -0800

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If you don't want to be spoiled, don't watch this trailer. If you don't want to be spoiled, stop reading now. Seriously. There's a spoiler coming up and I'm burying it in as much text as possible but it's impossible to ignore. Okay? You've stopped reading? Good. Colin Firth is alive?! Not really sure how they plan on explaining his resurrection, since an eye patch doesn't really cut it when somebody gets shot in the head. Unless, ya know, super spy glasses that are also bullet proof so when Samuel L. Jackson shoots him it only results in an eye injury instead of his brains exploding everywhere. Actually, that's probably it. Either that, or it's some Mission Impossible fake-face-mask stuff going on.

How rearranging 'Passengers' could've made it less bad (spoilers)

Wed, 19 Apr 2017 12:19:51 -0800

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Passengers wasn't the worst movie ever, but in this video The Nerdwriter explores how some rearranging could've made it significantly better. They're good suggestions, and the fact the movie wasn't made this way says something about Hollywood. I'm not sure exactly what it is that's being said, but you can be sure there's some saying going on. Also, obviously SPOILERS if you haven't seen the movie.

'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' teaser trailer

Fri, 14 Apr 2017 18:02:39 -0800

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The official teaser trailer for Rian Johnson's Star Wars: The Last Jedi was just released and, like The Force Awakens teaser, opens with an out of breath character suddenly appearing on screen. This is a strange trend, and I can only imagine they're building to the Star Wars IX teaser trailer which opens with an out of breath Kylo Ren, probably also a little sweaty for some reason. Also, whoever's in charge of the theme variations they keep coming out with for these trailers deserves a raise. I don't even know how much they got paid, but it needs to be more.

'Star Wars' made this wonderful tribute to Carrie Fisher

Thu, 13 Apr 2017 17:22:58 -0800

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It's funny because they included the scene of Princess Leia kissing her brother. It's not funny because everything else about this is horribly sad. Why couldn't they have just compiled clips of Carrie Fisher being a horrible person that nobody liked? Like kicking a puppy or something. Then this video wouldn't have been so damn depressing.

Here's the surprisingly lighthearted 'Thor: Ragnarok' teaser trailer

Mon, 10 Apr 2017 15:13:41 -0800

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The new teaser trailer for Thor: Ragnarok feels like the tonal opposite of Thor: The Dark World, basically going for light and fun versus dark and serious. Which seems fitting, since director Taika Waititi is also the man responsible for What We Do in the Shadows. It's also impossible to talk about the trailer without mentioning how incredible Cate Blanchet looks as the Asgardian goddess of death Hela. 47-year-old women aren't supposed to look that badass. I should know, I'm a sexist.

Brendan Fraserless Mummy movie still happening in the new 'The Mummy' trailer

Mon, 03 Apr 2017 04:26:13 -0800

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Call it whatever you want, but everybody knows that without Brendan Fraser this is just Mission Impossible: Egyptian Monster Lady. Also, at what point should we expect Tom Cruise to start aging? It's been a few decades now and I feel like it should start happening any moment now.

Joss Whedon betrays Marvel to direct 'Batgirl' standalone film

Thu, 30 Mar 2017 17:24:07 -0800

(image) According to Variety, Joss Whedon is nearing a deal to write, direct, and produce an untitled Batgirl film for Warner Bros. as part of its DC Extended Universe. Joss Whedon directed both Avengers films but made a clean break with the Marvel Cinematic Universe after finishing Age of Ultron. He stated at the time he wanted to distance himself from Marvel to work on other projects, but nobody expected "other projects" to mean the DC Extended Universe. This means we might actually end up with a DC film that's fun and uses more colors than gray and darker gray.

New 'It' trailer very much like the original 'It' but newer

Thu, 30 Mar 2017 03:25:35 -0800

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For anybody looking to keep up the tradition of being afraid of clowns, here's the official teaser trailer for the upcoming It remake.

New official trailer for 'Baywatch,' starring muscles and jiggly bits

Wed, 22 Mar 2017 13:49:21 -0800

(image) Hey, it's 21 Jump Street, beach addition.

Here's the teaser for Netflix's live-action 'Death Note' movie

Wed, 22 Mar 2017 13:18:19 -0800

(image) You've probably heard of Death Note even if you've never seen it or know what it's about because it's one of the most popular anime of all time. Here's the teaser for the Netflix live-action remake which premieres on August 25th, continuing the long American tradition of taking "international phenomenons" and making them White. Although I will give them credit for showing enough restraint to not end the teaser with a shot of Ryuk accompanied with scary brrrooowowwowow music.

'Rogue One' spliced together with 'A New Hope'

Wed, 22 Mar 2017 13:06:23 -0800

(image) Barre Fong took the liberty of doing what every Star Wars fan did in their head when watching Rogue One and spliced on the beginning of A New Hope to continue where Rogue One left off. There's actually not a lot of splicing needed though, since he essentially just removed the end credits of Rogue One and opening roll from A New Hope and played them back to back to create an extended version of Darth Vader's boarding scene.

Netflix decides they value thumbs more than stars

Thu, 16 Mar 2017 22:00:36 -0800

(image) Speaking at a press briefing, Netflix's VP of Product Todd Yellin told reporters they'd be eliminating the five star rating and moving towards a thumbs up and thumbs down system similar to Pandora. According to Variety:
However, over time, Netflix realized that explicit star ratings were less relevant than other signals. Users would rate documentaries with 5 stars, and silly movies with just 3 stars, but still watch silly movies more often than those high-rated documentaries. "We made ratings less important because the implicit signal of your behavior is more important," Yellin said.
In addition to the thumbs ratings, they'll be attaching a percentage-match feature that gives a numerical value to how closely a show or movie will match an individual's taste, although shows that fall under 50% won't display a rating. So in case you were deciding between the new Adam Sandler movie or Memento, you won't have to rely on the overly broad rating of a thumbs up. If this is all too complicated, it's basically the same system as YouTube or PornHub. I mean, wait, what's PornHub? I've never even heard of or been to that site.

'Guardians of the Galaxy 3' confirmed

Thu, 16 Mar 2017 00:48:34 -0800

(image) Even before the release of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, James Gunn has confirmed that there will for sure be a Guardians of the Galaxy 3. He tells Complex:
There will be a Guardians 3, that's for sure. We're trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do really, that's all it is. I got to figure out where I want to be, what I want to spend the next three years of my life doing. You know, I'm going to make another big movie; is it the Guardians or something else? I'm just going to figure it out over the next couple of weeks.
This should come as a surprise to absolutely nobody, since it's long been understood that Disney loves money and hates the not-having of money.

Official trailer for Pixar's newest film 'Coco'

Wed, 15 Mar 2017 13:43:34 -0800

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The official trailer for Pixar's newest multi-cultural animation extravaganza Coco is here. And by multi-cultural I mean the Mexican culture. I could go into plot points about music or Day of the Dead, but what really stands out here is the animation. Even by Pixar's animation standards, there were some moments here that made me feel like my poor human eyes are inadequate.

Footage from 'Spider-Man 3' reused in 'Life' trailer

Tue, 14 Mar 2017 05:02:33 -0800

(image) Insane Reddit user toomuchsoull noticed this shot from Spider-Man 3 that appears nearly identically in the Life TV spot. And I say nearly identically because it's clearly missing the star of the show: Mr. Mustache. Here's the shot from the Life trailer for comparison: (image) And here's the TV spot so you can appreciate just how quick the shot is and just how ridiculous it is that somebody actually noticed it. The clip appears at around 0:27.
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It seems pretty clear that it's just B-roll footage they used to pad the Life trailer, it's just interesting that the footage was shot both with and without Mr. Mustache. I wonder how he feels about being cut. He probably told his entire family to watch out for him and now he's embarrassed because they're going to watch the millisecond flash and he'll be nowhere to be seen.

Examining setup and payoff in film

Tue, 14 Mar 2017 02:20:15 -0800

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Remember that stupid stuffed unicorn that Captain Boomerang kept showing in Suicide Squad? Remember how you kept expecting it to come back and play a role in the movie because they kept showing it? Remember when that didn't happen? I remember. And I can't forget.

Trailer for Edgar Wright's newest film 'Baby Driver'

Tue, 14 Mar 2017 02:01:00 -0800

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Imagine if Drive was written and directed by Edgar Wright and the part of Ryan Gosling was being played by a high school teenager. That appears to be the basic pitch behind Wright's newest film Baby Driver. And even if the film only turns out to be half as good as the trailer makes it seem, I think we can all agree it's nice to see Kevin Spacey involved in a project that isn't Nine Lives.

The entire 'Breaking Bad' series turned into a two hour movie

Mon, 13 Mar 2017 02:26:22 -0800

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What started out as a study project turned into a two-year endeavor as some guy edited the entire Breaking Bad series into a two hour movie. It doesn't do the series justice, but that's to be expected for something trying to condense five seasons into a single movie. The breakneck speed makes it almost impossible to care for any of the characters or to even fully grasp Walter's arc. It would've worked better if they had been less ambitious and maybe done one movie per season, but as it stands, this is an interesting though flawed project. It definitely doesn't serve as a replacement for the series, but it might be worth a watch for anybody wanting to revisit the Breaking Bad universe in a more casual way.

New 'Wonder Woman' trailer

Mon, 13 Mar 2017 01:54:35 -0800

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The new Wonder Woman trailer is here, showing us a glimpse of the abusive household that led to Diana become the Amazonian warrior we know her as. Sure, it's fine when Hippolyta does it, but I tell my kid they're worthless and hire people to beat them and I'm the bad guy.

The new 'Wonder Woman' poster is pleasantly tasteful

Fri, 10 Mar 2017 11:58:02 -0800

(image) It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if all movie posters ditched their cluttered-mess aesthetic and went for something more like this. Simple and tasteful, and not plastered with every actor's name and every actor's face and every other unnecessary thing thrown on to catch a person's eye. Though I'm sure that version of the Wonder Woman poster is still on its way.

Meet Walter, the android that's probably a bad guy in 'Alien: Covenant'

Fri, 10 Mar 2017 11:48:51 -0800

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As has become standard for big budget films featuring androids, 20th Century Fox released this fake commercial for Walter, the latest synthetic by Weyland-Yutani from Alien: Covenant. Although as neat as the Michael Fassbender robot is, I'm more interested in those net masks the technicians have on. They're the perfect blend of looking really, really cool while being completely useless.

Hugh Jackman doing ADR for 'Logan'

Tue, 07 Mar 2017 15:15:01 -0800

If you're not down with the lingo, ADR stands for automated dialogue replacement and it's the things actors do when the filmed audio sucks and they have to dub over it. Hugh Jackman posted this video of his ADR for Logan, which feels like an audition tape for him as a lover: savage when necessary, and a gentleman right after.

The 'Deadpool 2' teaser trailer was just leaked

Fri, 03 Mar 2017 14:16:57 -0800

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The Deadpool 2 teaser trailer just leaked and Reddit user confirmedzach took the liberty of stabilizing the cam footage into something watchable. It's still horrible quality, but that's what you get for wanting to watch something before it's officially released. Watch it while you can, because unless movie studios (and their lawyers) have finally stopped hating their consumers, there's almost no way this is going to manage to stay up. UPDATE: Replaced the cam video with the official version uploaded by Ryan Reynolds, because odds are he isn't going to sue himself.