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VMware refuses to support its wares running in Azure

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 23:35:14 GMT

Who is Microsoft's mystery partner? We think it's a hyperconverged player

VMware has responded to Microsoft's plan to run its stack in Azure, by saying customers who choose that option will have to forego support.…




Summit for the readers who are hot for petaFLOPs: Server nodes flashed at SC17

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 18:09:05 GMT

Oak Ridge Top 500-leading system's innards

Analysis IBM offered HPC fans at SC17 a gawk at the server tray for the upcoming Summit supercomputer at Oak Ridge National Laboratory (ORNL), Tennessee.…




Clone poster girl Dolly the sheep's arthritis was 'normal for her age'

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 16:57:09 GMT

Boffins say health issues were not related to genetic wizardry

New research suggests the arthritis plaguing Dolly the sheep – the first mammal cloned from an adult somatic cell – was normal for her age.…




Royal Navy destroyer leaves Middle East due to propeller problems

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 16:22:10 GMT

For once it's not an engine breakdown

A Type 45 destroyer has been recalled to Britain with propeller problems, leaving the Royal Navy's traditional "east of Suez" deployment without proper warship cover.…




'Data is the new oil': F-Secure man on cartels, disinformation and IoT

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 15:53:08 GMT

An unlikely trio? Not according to Mikko Hypponen

Questions about cyber influence continue to cloud last year's US presidential elections and recently similar allegations have been levelled against the Brexit vote.…




Sci-Hub domains inactive following court order

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 14:59:10 GMT

'Free science'/pirate site operator 'working on solving DNS issue'

Several domains of the controversial academic paper filesharing site Sci-Hub have been made inactive following a court order earlier this month.…




Someone told Google to nuke links to mean reviews of disgraced telco True Telecom

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 14:32:09 GMT

And Mountain View obliged

Links to pages slating a telco slapped with multiple fines from UK regulators have been wiped from Google's search results after a claimant asked the search giant to chuck them down a sinkhole.…




This is peak AI: Bot to guest edit Radio 4's Today programme

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 14:04:08 GMT

How will you tell the difference?

#F_AI_L The BBC has confirmed that Radio 4's Today programme will conduct an interview with a politician via an AI bot "modelled on Mishal Husain".…




Abolish the Telly Tax? Fat chance, say MPs at non-binding debate

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 12:43:08 GMT

125,000 people tried – and failed

Britons simply don't understand that "public sector broadcasting" is a "good for all society", a Labour MP lamented during a Westminster Hall debate on TV licensing.…




Ed Vaizey is right, Matt Hancock hasn't improved broadband

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 12:15:06 GMT

'Hancock pinched all my ideas' jokes former digi minister

Comment For all digital minister Matt Hancock's rhetoric about 'full-fibre' investment, Blighty's digital infrastructure still remains unchanged.…




Remember the 'budget' iPhone SE? Apple plans an update – reports

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 11:31:10 GMT

Midget gem

Apple hasn't forgotten its miraculous budget iPhone, the iPhone SE, after all. The ornate miniature looks set for an update next year, according to reports.…




Wizarding World of Harry Potter awaits Microsoft Office exam winners

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 10:56:06 GMT

Excel Exumai!

Hey kids, fancy an all-inclusive break to the magical Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Florida? Well, you're in luck.…




Continuous Lifecycle: Blind-bird tickets set to fly off for good

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 10:28:09 GMT

Just one week left to save £££

Events You've got just one week left to snap up tickets for our two-day conference at Continuous Lifecycle London for just £500 plus VAT.…




Mythical broadband speeds to plummet in crackdown on ISP ads

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 10:02:11 GMT

If I hear 'up to' one more time...

Broadband providers will only be able to advertise "average" download speeds if at least 50 per cent of customers are able to receive them at peak times, under new rules announced today by the advertising regulator.…




StorONE 're-invents' storage stack to set hardware free

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 09:34:22 GMT

After 6 years of work, 35 people in StorOne say storage industry's wrong

Analysis Israeli storage startup StorONE says it has re-invented the storage stack to set hardware free.…




Stick to the script, kiddies: Some dos and don'ts for the workplace

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 09:05:13 GMT

Get your filthy, fallible hands out of filthy, fallible Github

Scripting is now the first choice for clued-up administrators who want to get things done quickly and in an automated fashion. However, scripting does bring its own set of issues.…




'Water on Mars' re-classified as just 'sand on Mars'

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 08:03:11 GMT

Maybe very slightly damp sand, but new look at Martian gullies finds they look like dunes

Scientists have revisited a 2015 sighting of water on the surface of Mars and revised the theory to suggest what we saw was sand, and probably not even damp sand at that.…




Sorry 'strange physics' fans, IceCube finds the Standard Model stands

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 07:04:29 GMT

Boffins finds neutrinos sometimes collide with Earth instead of passing through

Video Thanks to work at the IceCube instrument in Antarctica, we have learned that Earth has an appetite for high-energy neutrinos: they're more likely to be “swallowed” by the planet in collisions with matter than those at lower energies.…




To fix Intel's firmware fiasco, wait for Christmas Eve or 2018

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 07:02:15 GMT

And cross your fingers: 'TBD' is the scheduled date for hundreds of PC fixes

The world's top PC-makers have started to ship fixes for the multiple flaws in Intel's CPUs, but plenty won't land until 2018.…




Samba needs two patches, unless you're happy for SMB servers to dance for evildoers

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 06:01:10 GMT

Big Linux distros have pushed their fixes, but let's not assume everything auto-patches, OK?

It’s time to patch Samba again - or turn off SAMBA 1, which is never as easy as it sounds.…




Devs working to stop Go math error bugging crypto software

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 03:42:21 GMT

Programming language makes some fuzzy big numbers

Consider this an item for the watch-list, rather than a reason to hit the panic button: a math error in the Go language could potentially affect cryptographic libraries.…




Facebook notifications to reveal who saw dodgy Russian election ads

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 01:16:09 GMT

This may explain why you've craved Vlad Putin's borscht recipe since mid-2016

Facebook has revealed it's started work on a tool that will let its members learn if they saw ads published by the “Internet Research Agency”, the outfit thought to have been behind mass buys of pro-Kremlin propaganda ads during the 2016 US presidential election.…




Xen Project's plan after AWS goes KVM: Talk up embedded future

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 23:58:42 GMT

AWS changes its tune, multi-hypervisor plan is its future

UPDATE Fresh from the news that Amazon Web Services intends to replace its hypervisor, the Xen Project will tell the world it has a fine future in embedded applications.…




FCC boss Ajit Pai emits his net neutrality extermination plan

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 20:46:30 GMT

Just in time for Thanksgiving when no one will notice

Ajit Pai, head of America's communications watchdog the FCC, has unveiled his "plan to repeal the Obama Administration's heavy-handed regulation of the Internet," referred to by critics as an anti-consumer giveaway to large communications companies.…




Aussie Catholic School forced into hasty cover-up over suggestive Saint

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 18:35:13 GMT

Off-shored statue offered a curious roll

A Catholic School in Australia has been left red-faced after a newly commissioned statue of a revered saint appeared to be offering to share more than a few loaves and fishes with the little children.…




Microsoft scoops Search UI out from the gaping black maw of Cortana

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 17:59:06 GMT

Hmmm. Looks familiar…

Microsoft is experimenting with taking Search out of Cortana and making it more Mac-like in the newest Windows 10 build.…




Apple quietly wheels out 'Voxelnet' driverless car tech paper

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 16:58:04 GMT

We'd ask them what it means, but, uh...

Apple researchers have released a paper about a "trainable deep architecture", setting out the fruity firm's plans to make autonomous vehicles better at detecting cyclists and pedestrians.…




Permissionless data slurping: Why Google's latest bombshell matters

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 16:09:10 GMT

Are you in control?

Comment According to an old Chinese proverb: "When a wise man points at the Moon, an idiot looks at his finger." Google may have been hoping that you were examining a finger, not reading a Quartz story yesterday, which reveals how Android phones send location data to Google without you even knowing it.…




You're such a goober, Uber: UK regulators blast hushed breach

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 15:15:13 GMT

MP: Funny, you managed to contact customers when TfL put your licence on hold…

Brit regulators, security agencies and MPs have slammed Uber for covering up the massive data breach of 57 million customer and driver records.…




Budget 2017: How to make a downbeat forecast sound better. Say 'tech' a lot?

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 14:47:05 GMT

Trebling comp sci teachers, digi tax evaders clampdown

“The world is on the brink of a technological revolution,” UK chancellor Philip Hammond declared in Blighty's Autumn budget today. “We choose the future; we choose to run towards change, not away from it.”…




Ads watchdog to BT: We say your itsy bitsy, teeny weeny Ts&Cs too small for screeny

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 14:07:21 GMT

Broadband TV spot hid key details in hard-to-read text

BT has had its ears boxed by the Advertising Standards Agency after one of its adverts with masses of small print was ruled "likely to mislead".…




Under par: HPE 3PAR US sales are limping

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 13:44:12 GMT

Not so, er, Nimble in the area

Comment Did HPE shoot itself in the foot with US 3PAR push? Its fourth quarter results showed storage revenues grew slightly but with sales in the US of the tech limping in a quarter with sales organisation changes.…




Possible cut to British F-35 order considered before Parliament

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 13:05:04 GMT

MoD claims it's still committed but warns of 'uncertainty'

Rising costs might force the UK to reduce its order of F-35 fighter jets, the House of Commons has been told.…




Peers told to push for cut-price access to med tech developed with NHS data

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 12:36:06 GMT

But for Pete's sake, don’t recommend another new body

The UK's health service should get cheaper rates on healthcare products developed using NHS data, peers have been told.…




Phone fatigue takes hold: SIM-onlys now top UK market

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 12:05:07 GMT

♫ "Boredom, boredom, boredom, b'dum b'dum" ♫

SIM-only contracts are now the most popular kind of mobile deal in the UK, as punters step off the tedious upgrade treadmill.…




'Gimme Gimme Gimme' Easter egg in man breaks automated tests at 00:30

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 11:31:09 GMT

Wow, I see what you did there *rolls eyes*

The maintainer of the Linux manual program man has scrapped an "Easter egg" after it broke a user's automatic code tests.…




Borat creator offers to cover mankini fines. Is nice!

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 11:03:13 GMT

Sacha Baron Cohen steps in after Czech tourists become butt of joke

Borat creator Brit comedian Sacha Baron Cohen has said he'll pay the fines handed to a group of mankini-clad Czech tourists by Kazakhstani authorities.…




London mayor: Self-driving cars? Not without jacked-up taxes, you don't!

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 10:32:14 GMT

And who will build the roads, asks Transport for London

London mayor Sadiq Khan has come out against driverless electric cars, telling Parliament that adoption of the vehicles by Londoners could harm government tax revenues, reduce the number of cyclists – and leave questions over who would build the roads.…




Loake Shoes admits: We've fallen victim to cybercrims

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 10:18:05 GMT

Hold on to your laces, email server was compromised

Miscreants, hackers – call 'em what you will – have pilfered email addresses from an unknown number of Loake Shoes customers.…




Once more unto the breach: El Reg has a go at crisis management

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 09:43:11 GMT

And you can probably guess how that turned out

Hacks played representatives of a hacked company in an incident response exercise run by F-Secure this week.…




When it comes to ML, reports of JavaScript's death are exaggerated

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 09:08:13 GMT

Python is not the be-all and end-all of writing smart algorithms

Machine learning is fast becoming one of the high-growth areas for developers – but what language should you employ, given that so many exist?…




'Urgent data corruption issue' destroys filesystems in Linux 4.14

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 08:35:09 GMT

Using bcache to speed Linux 4.14? Stop if you want your data to live

A filesystem-eating bug has been found in Linux 4.14.…




Crypto-jackers enlist Google Tag Manager to smuggle alt-coin miners

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 08:01:14 GMT

Ad giant has malware detection in its script-hosting service... but Coin Hive isn't flagged

Crypto-jackers using Coin Hive code to secretly mine Monero via computing power supplied by the unsuspecting have found Google Tag Manager to be a convenient means of distribution.…




Microsoft reprieves CodePlex users – you're doomed next week

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 07:30:05 GMT

Read-only doom-day slips, December axe still ohovers

Even a turkey can get a reprieve: Microsoft's CodePlex shut-down date has run late, but is still imminent.…




HP Inc – the no-drama one – is actually doing fine with PCs, printers

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 07:04:07 GMT

Personal gear a more reliable moneymaker than servers. Who knew?

On a day when Meg Whitman, CEO of its sibling HPE, announced her departure from the biz, HP Inc revealed its slow and steady progress in two tough markets.…




Apple: Sure, we banned VPN iOS apps in China, but, um, er, art!

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 06:02:13 GMT

iGiant didn't want to aid censorship, but $10bn in revenue is $10bn in revenue

Apple has told the US government it cooperated with China's demands to block VPN services so it could get other concessions from the Middle Kingdom on human rights.…




Linus Torvalds 'sorry' for swearing, blames popularity of Linux itself

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 04:58:12 GMT

More than 20 pulls a day on his desk, v.4.15 bloating and a Thanksgiving trip to pack for made Linus testy

Linux overlord Linus Torvalds has apologised – a bit – for calling some security-centric kernel contributors “f*cking morons”.…




Iranian military hacker fingered for 'Game of p0wns' HBO leak

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 03:58:04 GMT

Dept. of Justice lamely says 'winter is coming' for Behzad Mesri, aka 'Skote Vahshat'

The United States' Department of Justice has identified a suspect in July's attack on Home Box Office, naming an Iranian national, Behzad Mesri, in an indictment unsealed Tuesday, November 21.…




Microsoft to run VMware on Azure, on bare metal. Repeat. Microsoft to run VMware on Azure.

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 03:03:16 GMT

VMware-certified partners will help as Redmond also starts vSphere-to-Azure migrations

Microsoft is to offer "the full VMware stack on Azure hardware" with the help of an as-yet-unnamed VMware partner.…




Microsoft says Win 8/10's weak randomisation is 'working as intended'

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 01:57:04 GMT

This bug is a feature in 11 out of 12 scenarios

Microsoft has rebutted analysis that suggested its Address Space Layout Randomisation (ASLR) technology could be exploited.…