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Updated: 2018-03-10T08:33:58.822-03:00


Call the police



Shit happens



This too shall pass


(image) I love this woman, she literally went to hell and back and she's still here. She's working hard, keeping it together, getting up everyday and trying to rebuild and move on.
To me she is living proof that we can overcome everything. Always stand up no matter how hard you've fallen. You've only failed when you stop trying.
Keep on going, keep on trying and remember: this too shall pass.

Mastering skills: Public speaking


I recently read an article on Lifehack about basic skills everyone should master to be able to get ahead in your chosen field. These are skills that everyone can learn with the proper drive and input. I agreed with all the points listed and wanted to expand upon a few. Today I will be writing about Public speaking, which is a skill I am still trying to master myself. In this post I will list how I am going to master this skill and what is currently working for me. I hope this will help others who are also trying to master this skill.Public Speaking:This ability is highly valued in the business world. Most jobs require you to be able to hold a presentation before a group of people and of course be able to defend your findings or opinion. This is a skill we all should master and most of us thankfully do, though some master it quicker than others.Some people are born with this skill, that much is true, but for people like me it takes extra effort to master this. Because this is one of the main skills that I need to master in my chosen major I have compiled a list of things I need to work on to succeed. I find that making lists and taking things step by step often helps me stay on track and reach my goals quicker. It also makes it easier to measure my progress.What to focus on:- Speaking volume. I’m a shy person and very soft spoken to put it mildly, so often the one critique I get after and sometimes during presentations is that I am speaking too softly. This was something I was not aware of until recently because I always assumed that if I can hear myself than others can hear me as well. This was of course wrong! To remedy this I often ask a classmate who is sitting in the back to give me a sign when I need to speak louder. This has helped me quite a lot and I am now aware of the speaking volume I need to try and maintain throughout my presentations.- Articulation. Next to the volume of your voice this is the most important point; what is the point of speaking loudly if people still cannot make out what it is you are trying to say? To master proper articulation I have developed the habit of taking my time to form the words properly when having normal conversations at home. Doing this makes it easier to turn proper articulation in to something that becomes second nature to you.- Stay calm. For most of us the prospect of speaking before an audience (of any size) can be very nerve-wracking. This is when the shaking, dry mouth, black-outs etc begin. Getting over this nervousness is not a step by step process but in my opinion it takes practice to take away the nerves. When you give presentations often enough it becomes second nature to you and very soon you don’t even think about it, you just do it. The only tip that I can give you to help you calm your nerves a bit is to stand in the spot where you will be holding your presentation and look out in front of you. Take in the view, get used to it. Try standing there when the room is empty or when there are already people around, let yourself get used standing there in front of others and the nerves will dissipate. Trust me I’ve tried it myself.- Preparation. All of the above will not help you master the skill of public speaking if you yourself do not adequately prepare yourself before every presentation. Don’t try to learn it all by heart but be sure you understand what it is you are presenting. So even if don’t know all the sentences by heart you can still say something. Work with cards on which you have compiled the key sentences and the different topics of your presentation. This will help you stay on track and can also take some of the nerves away.That was my list, what's on yours[...]

How I feel right now


"I am an invisible man. No, I am not a spook like those who haunted
Edgar Allan Poe; nor am I one of your Hollywood-movie ectoplasms. I am
a man of substance, of flesh and bone, fiber and liquids—and I might
even be said to possess a mind. I am invisible, understand, simply
because people refuse to see me. Like the bodiless heads you see
sometimes in circus sideshows, it is as though I have been surrounded
by mirrors of hard, distorting glass. When they approach me they see
only my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their
imagination—indeed, everything and anything except me."

New smilies for Gtalk, Finally!!!


AAh ! Finally
Gtalk has some new smilies and these actually look nice :).

I always hated the look of Gtalk and the limited functions annoyed me as well, maybe because I am used to my MSN messenger. I'm still waiting for the day when I will be able to do as much with my Gtalk as with my MSN messenger. More options Google pple!!! Pretty please?

The new smilies are brightening up my day a bit but there is still to be improved. Even with different themes the general look of Gtalk is depressing. They need to switch it up, and add some more features. I know it's still a work in progress, but come on! Work with me

Never work too hard part 2


A while ago I posted a Dilbert comic about never working too hard. I posted it because to me it was exceptionally funny and because I was in a mood. Yes work was again stressing me out.
And now looking back at that comic I have laugh a little harder because that did happen to me. I worked so hard to stay within the new benchmark that now they are putting extra pressure and wanting to place that benchmark even higher. So instead of me enjoying that I was able to do this I now am scolding myself for working this hard.
If I was guaranteed a raise after this then yeah maybe I would be happy, but no raise for me. So yep I'm in a mood today again.

Music in my head: Hidden Place by Bjork


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Never work too hard



Sam Lufti should be jailed


This is just so sick, no wonder she was so fucked up.

What is Jordin's problem?


I still cannot get over the fact that she just put her foot in her mouth in front of millions of viewers. Just like that! I still cannot believe it.
She is most likely gonna fall on her ass or receive some mayor backlash for this in the future. I mean when her own sex-tape finally comes out.

I'm all for abstinence so don't get me wrong but it is a personal choice you make for yourself and it is nobodies business except maybe your partner's. It's not something you should broadcast like that. It's as tacky as those people who walk around telling everyone how often they shag and how many people they have shagged. It's tacky and shows how little respect you have for yourself.
It's a private matter girl, wear your ring if you want do but don't judge others who choose not to adhere to your believes.

Calling people who do not agree with you sluts is not the way to go at all.
I mean I practice abstinence and I don't wear a ring, in Jordin's words I am a slut, just like that. Does this girl even know the English language?
I can make a mistake like that because English is my second language but come on, Jordin!?
I'm sure you can get your hands on a dictionary to look up the word.
It's not that hard love. I'll give you one tip it's in section "S". The same section that contains the word SEX.

In closing I would like to say:
Some people are virgins, deal with it!
Some people are not, deal with it!
Just don't rub anybodies face it and we'll be okay.

Britney and the VMA's


I know some of you are very angry that Britney Spears won so many awards last night, for a song that wasn't even that popular, but I have to admit I' happy for her.
I never understood how she constantly lost in a fan voted competition. Britney in her heyday was one of the most popular artists on MTV and yet she never received an award. I always thought that was weird.
And now she actually gets not one but 3 moon men to take home with her. I'm happy for her.
She deserved those awards
Even if some of you think that "Piece of me" was not award worthy she deserved those awards because her previous work and performances have made her into a MTV icon. She deserves a special award for her previous note worthy and definitely talked about performances.

And "Piece of me" was some of her best work. The video was fun, though not noteworthy, but the song was amazing. I love it. And it is a good representation of 2007*2008. Why?
Because Britney and the paps WERE headline news, so a song about all that shit is the proper vid to represent such a turbulent year.

The right to choose, I have it


Those fucking pro-lifers, that's not the correct term now is it. It should be "anti-abortionists". These people have no respect for life, freedom, rights, right and wrong and their fellow human beings.
What I do with my body is my decision and if I allow the decision of my immediate friends, family or the father of my unborn child. But ultimately it is my decision and mine alone.
Who are you to tell me that I am wrong?
Who are you to decide for me how I should live my life?
I don't interfere in yours so stay the fuck out of mine. Simple as that.

Stupid anti-abortionist, standing in front of clinics holding their boards and blowing up people. You can't be pro-life if you are willing to resort to such violence and think you have the right to keep others from living their life the way they choose to live it.
As an outsider you do not and can never really understand the why, and that's ok because you don't have to. It's my business not yours.

And for the guys that troll around screaming that they should have a say, let me tell you something fella's if you have proven yourself worthy, you will have a say. But if this woman has even the smallest doubt you will want to and be able to help her in the way she knows she needs it then no you do not have a say in it.
It's her body and her life will change the most and if you can't handle that go find yourselves another woman.

Why this rant? No I am not pregnant, just angry because I recently picked up the newspaper and was greeted to a picture of a protest. Those annoying anti-abortionist holding up signs and calling people killers and what not.
It's sickening. Why is it always the stupid people are always the loudest and the most in your face with their stupidity?
It's like they feel so threatened by people with actual sense that they put in all their effort to keep them from getting ahead. They are so scared to be left behind it seems. So they are pulling all the stops to bend you to their ways.
It's just sickening.

Job interviews 101


I know I have a dilbert widget already but this strip deserves special mention as it does seem a bit familiar.

Another year older


It's my birthday soon.
This year has gone buy so quickly, it seems like I started school just a short while ago. It's weird that 12 months pass by without you really noticing.
Maybe it's because my life is so boring. Nothing exciting ever happens to me. I go to work, go to school, go home and sleep. Every day the same thing. Nothing note worthy ever happens. I don't even have plans for my birthday. I'll probably just take a day off and sleep in. Or go shopping for something fun. But I don't have any money :(. That's what I hate about my birthday in September. It's the month I have to pay my school tuition so it's the month that I am usually broke. So no party. And what makes it worse, it's also the month that of many of my friends and relatives are abroad. Which off course means I get a lot of belated birthday gifts.
I'm turning 21 this year, yep getting old. I miss my teenage years.
When 21 I'm gonna have more fun, be less serious :).
Try to enjoy what I'm doing more.
That's gonna be my new motto: If it's not fun don't do it

My thoughts on death and suicide


Death has to be easy because life is hard.

As long as I can remember I always saw death as that bliss that comes after the chaos. Just slipping into nothingness, and everything is quiet. So why did I never commit suicide?
There was still so much I wanted to experience. I wanted to see the millennium.I wanted to get my diplomas, I wanted to make my family proud. I wanted to go places and see things.
I wanted to live before I die.

And now... lets leave that, that is not the point of this entry.
I wanted to blog about euthanasia and suicide.
It is controversial topic I know, but opinions are like ass holes. Every one has one(or should have one).

I have always been all for both of them. Why?
Because people should be able to decide when and how they should die. It's my life, let me end it my way. Don't remove my right to make that decision myself.
Why am I thinking about this now?
It's my birthday soon, I am getting old(er) and so the topic of death has been on my mind.
I thought about what my life would be like in my old age. Would I be happy, would I be healthy (I doubt it).
I can see myself all wrinkled and old, getting sick and getting better all the while my body keeps getting weaker.
All my friends and the people I grew up with are either dead or senile.
I'm losing my memories, my ability to move freely or do what I want when I want. I have nothing to look forward to but disease and death.
Why would I want to drag on?
Why would I choose to sit and wait to die?
Why would I choose to linger when there is nothing anchoring me to this existence?

I would want the option to end my life. To choose how I died and when. I don't want to go on slowly wasting away with nothing to look forward to. I'd rather just end my misery instead of prolong it.

I know it is the easy way out, but why would I fight for a life like that?

I'm not considering suicide now, if that is what you are worried about. There is still so much I want to experience, like actually leave the country(yep I've never been outside my country's borders).
I want to own my own car and home. I want feel like I've actually accomplished something and not just spend all my years just waiting to die. I want to know what it is like to have someone I can trust and rely on and just because they chose to be that person for me. Not because they have to.
I want to meet my best friend and soul mate. I want to good at something.
I want so much right now, I may not get the chance to do them all but that's not the point. As long as I keep trying and crossing things of that list, I'm good.

I really need to de-stress myself


I have been putting too much pressure on my own performance and as a result I can't focus and I am failing at mundane tasks. Tasks that took me minutes now take way too much time to finish because I put way to much stress upon myself to perform at 110%.
And this is causing me more stress. Because now I am more prone to making mistakes. Rookie mistakes even, embarrassing mistakes. And when I make these mistakes I usually get called on it in the worst ways. And at the worst times. It's like every mistake I make gets put on blast and then I off course put more pressure upon myself to perform better.
So end up in the cycle of stress that is very and I mean very bad for my health.
I need a vacation but I don't have any vacation days. The only day I can probably get off is on my birthday. But that is weeks away. I need rest now!

It's time to de-stress before I end up like my friend. She was coughing up blood and has problems with her leg and is getting worse. I don't want to end up like her so I am stopping all this stress right now.

-No more pressuring myself to write and finish reports when I know people that can help me. Reports are usually done in groups. I should stop taking on so much work when it is supposed to be a group effort.
-No more putting pressure on myself to make deadlines that are impossible to make. I need to space out my exams. Do a few in the 1st round and the rest in the second. I'll hold on to my sanity that way.
-No more trying to be nice to everyone. Some people don't like me, deal with it.
-No more putting myself last. When I'm hungry I'm hungry, when I'm tired, I'm tired.
-No more trying to compete with others.
-No more trying to overachieve at work. I always get sidelined no amount of input will get me what I deserve. People that work harder than I do get sidelined as well so.
-No more trying to help everyone that asks me. If I can't, I truly just can't. It's okay to say no.

I've finally found reasons to make myself a better person than I have been. But that starts with putting myself first.

I Am Not There


    by Mary Elizabeth Frye (1932)

Do not stand at my grave and weep;

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sun on ripened grain.

I am the gentle Autumn rain.

When you awake in the morning hush,

I am the swift, uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.

Need new hair


I'm tired of my hair, I want to try a new color.
A while back I tried red. The color suited me although some parts turned out orange hehe. But it was cool.
I want to try that once more.
Some subtle red streaks. Or just a red all over rinse that only shows in the sun.
I still have to decide. I know I don't want a dark red like Bordeaux, I want something orange red.
I have been deciding on a color for forever now and right I am sure. Now I just have decide on a brand and a colorist. I have heard too many horror stories from friends who got some color put in and ended up having to cut off a few inches due to breakage and dryness.

I like my length right now and last thing I want to do is have to choose a new cut.

Though I have been eying the chic suri-bob. I've seen a few girls with it at school. Most of them jazz it up with some color. Mixing up blonde with reds.
And even some were brave enough to try the asymmetrical bob.

Decisions, decisions...

Qoute of today


"If you knew your potential to feel good, you
would ask no one to be different so that you can feel good...for no one
else can think for you, no one else can do it, it is only you...every
bit of it YOU"

Nope not a real update. Been way to busy with life and the like. Plus procrastination is my new best friend it seems. It's wrong I know but still I do it.

Why I hate you


  • I hate you because everybody takes your shitty attitude
  • I hate you because everything you do you excel at
  • I hate you because you don't want me
  • I hate you because you are flawed
  • I hate you because you disprove my theory
  • I hate you because I can't be you
  • I hate you because you have all my bad traits
  • I hate you because everyone likes you
  • I hate you because everyone tries to help you
  • I hate you because everyone excepts that you bad attitude is just a part of who you are
  • I hate you because they wont except the same from me
  • I hate you because you lie to me
  • I hate you because you remind me of everything I don't want to be
  • I hate you because you remind me of everything I want to be

Dawn versus Xiaxue or just dumb and dumber


This has to be one of the stupidest battles ever.
2 of the most popular asian bloggers are having a row. Each accusing the other of being slutty, stupid and fake. And off course questioning how pretty the other is without make up or photoshop. BTW I think Dawn is prettier, Xiaxue has big teeth.

I have a hard time these girls have the balls to accuse each other of stupidity while neither of the 2 has discovered spell check and or english grammar. If you can't type the language don't do it. It makes you look stupid.
And don't get me started on the pounds upon pounds of make up. The plastic surgery and the stupid bling.
Xiaxue blings up everything she looks like a tranny right now. Piercings all over the place and shiny extensions in her blonde fried hair. Her head looks like it's too big for her short body. She has absolutely no fashion sense and is probably the cheapest person on the planet.
Don't get me wrong Xiaxue loves to spend money. She shops like a 8 year girl. Her closet is filled with pink, short and frilly clothes.
Xiaxue girl, it's time to start dressing your age. Not your mental age, but your biological age.
Stop writing stupid meaningless rants about your boring life. And yes Kaykay is prettier than you.
Remove all that blonde crap from your head because it looks ugly. Xiaxue looked way better with darker hair.
Try to get someone to fix your teeth, maybe you can get them to fix them for free.
Trust me it's really needed.

And as for Dawn,
I have very little to say about this girl other than stop trying so hard. If Xiaxue wants to lie about you leave her be. People like her are always gonna be around. It's pure jealousy.
You don't have to place your acceptance letter to NYU on your blog. It's not her business whether or not you were accepted or not.
Just like it's not her business whether you have had work done or have an below average IQ.
I do hope you know what IQ mean. I truly do.
I also hope you do sue her ass(or lack there off)
You wont get much money, but it might shut her up for a while maybe(hopefully).
And Dawn dear please remove the stupid music from your blog. It annoys me to no end. And it's the reason I visit your blog but 2 times a year.
Well that, and the fact that I have no interest in your life.

I like you both to know that you 2 really do look like copies of each other. I don't know nor do I care who copied who.
You both sound stupid, fake and stuck up. Can't take criticism and need a better fashion sense. I don't care who is worse I just know the both of you need to improve.
Be better people. And please be less fake.

Suffering and focus


I have been trying to put words down for some time now, but I kept losing my train of thought. Too much going on in my head it seams. A lot has happened since I last blogged. But I can't get it out the way I want to. I get it out period. Maybe when my surroundings have calmed down.

I felt sick to my stomach yesterday. I read the paper and again there was one of those stories that completely validates how evil people are. I wonder if human beings are influenced by the media and surroundings to enjoy harming others, or it is something that is encoded in our DNA.
I tend to think it's the latter.

We like to watch others suffer because it makes all the shit we go through feel a little better. I mean when you watch some else going through a terrible ordeal it makes them human. It brings them down to your level. It makes dealing with the fact that you have gone through terrible things a lot easier, because you know you are not the only one. It's not just you who is suffering.

Hitler's thoughts on Torchwoods season finale


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No blonde jokes please


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