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Preview: TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Business Brief

TheSpoof.com : Spoof News : Business Brief



Spoof News and Political Satire Business Brief



Last Build Date: Tue, 20 Feb 2018 15:30:01 GMT

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The Trump Economic Miracle Explained by His Followers Using One Easy Chart

Fri, 15 Dec 2017 15:18:04 GMT

Washington - Donald Trump and White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders have recently described the economic period established in February of this year under his administration as the "Trump Miracle", and his dwindling number of followers a...



What Does it Take to Become a Good Private Investigator?

Mon, 25 Dec 2017 10:56:58 GMT

Private examination is a vocation. The individuals who mean to go into the activity are relied upon to have some formal preparing. In Los Angeles for example certain prerequisite must be met before one turns into a Los Angeles Private Investigator ex...



Chinese pot noodles hit by pizza tsunami!

Wed, 20 Dec 2017 08:48:23 GMT

The basic diet of billions of Chinese is being swept from under their bare feet by an 'Italian tsunami' causing a 'Domino' effect on the nutritional foundations of the most populated country on the planet! Chinese pot noodles, eaten by the rich, t...



First white soft drink set to be unveiled

Mon, 15 Jan 2018 05:14:00 GMT

The Stormer Beverage Corporation is set to unveil a new soft drink within the next few months. The beverage is called Liquid White, and is the world's first white carbonated cola beverage. "For years, soft drinks have been similar in hue to minori...



First Tentacle Bank is set to do business on Planet Earth

Mon, 29 Jan 2018 13:16:49 GMT

First Tentacle Bank of Planet Purplonia is getting ready to bring their business to Earth. New television ads for the bank proclaim, "At First Tentacle, we offer loans at 2% APR, savings at 16% interest. How does that grab you?" Financial experts...



Trump Explains How Obama and Crooked Hillary Caused the Stock Market to Go Way Down

Sat, 17 Feb 2018 04:59:35 GMT

Mar-A-Lago, FL President Trump gave a brief interview in-between the third and fourth course of a banquet at Mar-A-Lago today. It was honoring Over a Year of Trump and Still No Nuclear War. When he was asked why the stock market went down after...



Prices Go Up 2% in Federal Reserve Board’s Ivory Tower Location

Wed, 14 Feb 2018 15:45:13 GMT

Washington - Prices for various goods and services that can be purchased in the Washington D.C. area Ivory Tower in which the Federal Reserve Board meets around eight times a year have increased year over year at a 2% annual clip, according to inflat...



Dicken's three ghosts now doing everything by email

Thu, 28 Dec 2017 15:12:02 GMT

The ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and yet to come now do all of their work by email, it has been revealed. Speaking to us, for the first time since 2008, the three ghosts have told us that due to the amount of greed, and lack of basic humanity,...



UK supermarkets ban energy drinks because they give "Hoodie Hooligans" too much energy!

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 09:08:41 GMT

Hoodies, hooligans, and other juvenile reprobates are being deprived of their favorite "adrenaline kick-starter" (in the goolies mostly) because some supermarkets in the UK believe they have too much wasteful energy! So, instead of selling under...



Artisan Coat-Hanger business becomes Artisan Paper-clip making business

Sat, 03 Feb 2018 20:23:58 GMT

Following the recent collapse of his Artisan Coat-Hanger making business successful business-man Tarquin Smythe Brassington Heckingthump III from Chutney on the Fritz has started up his own Artisan paper-clip making business instead. 'Well, what i...



Man starts artisan coat hanger business

Fri, 02 Feb 2018 15:34:14 GMT

Tarquin Smythe Brassington Heckingthump III from Chutney on the Fritz has launched his own artisan coat-hanging business. Heckingthump III told us, ‘From where I see it, a house overlooking the better part of the Thames, the times are just right f...



Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol

Tue, 13 Jun 2017 23:44:46 GMT

Schmidt & Weissen, a major gun manufacturer in the US, is developing a bidirectional pistol. Paul Gant of Schmidt & Weissen says, "This is the only gun I'd recommend to scumbags and known gang members." The police have mixed feelings about...



Trump's New Tax Plan Will Give New Hope to Indigent Millionaires

Wed, 08 Nov 2017 05:29:21 GMT

Mar-A-Lago, FL Trump announced, in between Hole 14 and Hole 15 of his private golf course, that his new tax plan is going to help some of the Forgotten Americans, like millionaires and billionaires that are right on the edge. "Most of all, the new...



Population unpopular with Targette

Fri, 14 Apr 2017 15:57:59 GMT

Minneapolis, Minnesota ---- As part of its "population control program," discount retailer Targette, which has already equipped its stores with transgender bathrooms, "because," as the company's CEO, Brian C. "Big Bri" Cornhole, explained to star rep...



Dyson sucks hot air out of Europe!

Thu, 11 May 2017 17:26:33 GMT

Sir James Dyson and his vacuum cleaners have been at war with their European competitors over suction! He claims his cleaners suck better than German ones, and that even before Brexit! Sir James is out to prove to the rest of Europe that Brit suck...



Giant US toy retailer buys up Chinese sex toy stock to avoid bankruptcy!

Tue, 19 Sep 2017 07:24:49 GMT

It seems the retail toy world is in turmoil after a giant toy retailer announced it was bankrupt in the US and Canada and cannot compete with internet rivals that swim up the Amazon and Target other Wally Martyrs! So, after hearing that China has...



Fudge-Packers Named in Lawsuit

Thu, 27 Jul 2017 15:40:47 GMT

Charlotte N.C. - Popular candy gram business Fudge Packers is being sued by the Pucker family. According to the complaint, Ebony Pucker ordered fudge through the company but claimes it put her pet at risk due to it's dangerous and irresponsible deli...



Trump Administration Releases Money Saving Tips For New Trump Health Plan

Thu, 11 May 2017 15:57:21 GMT

Washington, DC Surgeon General Dr. Niles Crane has released a list of things Americans can do to reduce their health care costs under the new Trump health plan. 1. Stop going to the doctor so much Everybody should buy some bandages and other me...



Sales of Bullshit detectors fall

Sun, 08 Oct 2017 19:44:13 GMT

Businesses have revealed a dramatic fall in the sale of Bullshit detectors over the past decade. Professor Smidgen from the Institute of fictional studies said: 'With the prevalence of social media, an idiot for a President, and the things your gr...



McDonut's burgers found to have traces of meat

Sat, 19 Aug 2017 07:31:45 GMT

Following claims by the McDonut's chain that their burgers are more nutritious than a rump steak, the International Standards Association conducted a scientific analysis of their burgers globally. The summarised results show the following slightly wo...



Barry Scott in overdose and insanitary home shambles

Sun, 13 Aug 2017 20:44:00 GMT

Barry Scott has spent a 2nd month in a medically induced coma after becoming seriously ill from drinking a potentially lethal amount of miracle household cleaner Cillit Bang. We've learned that Scott initially took to drinking the product after be...



ChastiTunes Serves Up Music You Hate

Tue, 23 May 2017 06:09:41 GMT

Turning the business model on its head, a new streaming service purposely serves up the most hated songs and videos. So who would use such a service and for what purposes? As it turns out, ChastiTunes users are much more than musical masochist...



Man Discovers Secret to Retail Revival

Tue, 01 Aug 2017 20:35:10 GMT

Who knew it could be so easy? One man has a unique solution to stop the onslaught of retail stores from shuttering their windows and locking their doors. He is formulating a follow-up plan to prevent tumbleweeds from rolling across barren mall pa...



Mnuchin™ to compensate middle class for higher taxes with free Greenback Bathmats for the Rich

Mon, 20 Nov 2017 13:12:10 GMT

After the laborious task of raping the middle class Mnuchin™ and Marie took time out to inspect the new greenback Bathmat. Marie had complained that she was weary of all the arduous work in Washington and took a military executive jet to the...



Discount Airline Companies Proliferate

Wed, 26 Apr 2017 14:47:40 GMT

As airline customers around the world rail against lowered standards in the airline industry, it seems we only have ourselves to blame for the mess we're in: Consumers continue to flock to discount airlines that only add to their discontent with the...



Shares in prison company continue to rise

Sat, 29 Apr 2017 06:17:38 GMT

If you're looking for a good stock to invest in, you could do a lot worse than Alabama State Penitentiary Conglomerates. Since they have expanded their operations beyond their eponymous state, they have seen profits rise by 400% and their workforce i...



Some Teachers Actually Go into Teaching for the Money

Fri, 15 Sep 2017 12:37:36 GMT

Apparently, it's the result of low expectations and outright confusion. "I used to work in Walmart," said one untenured teacher, two years into the profession. "I get at least twice the pay, but I also don't get the 5% discount, so it's a wash. I...



USA Workers Declare Next Friday ME-FIRST DAY!

Mon, 24 Apr 2017 21:19:58 GMT

They got the idea for this when they recently saw an airliner get passengers off a plane to make room for airline employees who needed transport to a work destination. "Yes," one employee shouted, continuing, "Up with employees, down with the cus...



Alien Cosmetics to produce makeup for purple women

Thu, 15 Jun 2017 23:53:24 GMT

Alien Cosmetics just announced its intentions of producing a line of makeup for purple women called Plum Adorable™. According to Purplicia Greene, spokeswoman for Alien Cosmetics, "Purple women have had to do without proper makeup for years...



America's 'Statue Removal' Craze Triggers The Downfall Of An Icon

Fri, 29 Sep 2017 15:18:02 GMT

For over 50 years Ronald McDonald has been a symbol of family and fun spreading happiness to children of all ages around the world. But earlier today, thousands of Ronald McDonald statues across the globe were either taken down or covered with bla...



Trump Promises Cheap Accidental Death Insurance to the 22 Million Cut Off Under His Proposed Health Plan

Fri, 28 Jul 2017 02:04:57 GMT

Washington, D.C. "I'm telling you," said Trump. "This is a real good deal. I've gotten one of the companies I own to offer accidental death insurance at a FANTASTIC rate to anyone who has lost their health insurance!" "This is really a once-in-a-l...



Satan Shows Up on Wall Street on the Floor of the New York Stock Exchange

Thu, 13 Apr 2017 02:46:40 GMT

New York, NY The Times Financial Editor wrote that he had been observing on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, when he was surprised the see the Prince of Darkness, Satan himself, on the floor making a number of trades. Although most of th...