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Jewish "Bridezilla" Gal



Elaborate fantasies and musings (and rants) about March 29, 2009



Updated: 2017-07-15T06:33:22.983-07:00

 



Toronto Wedding Recap

2009-05-20T09:58:01.095-07:00

Let me begin by saying it was actually very hard for me to capture this wedding on camera! First, I had never thought of taking pictures at other people's weddings until people did it for ours and I really appreciated it - so I decided from now on I am taking pictures at other people's weddings so that they can have pictures right away, without having to wait for the professional photographer to see how everything went (it goes so fast you barely remember anything!).Second, my camera isn't the best and there were over 400 guests, meaning my vantage points were not always great. I had to zoom in quite a bit and tried not to use the flash (so not to be disruptive) so the quality is somewhat grainy.Yes! You heard me - over 400 guests! It was pretty amazing.Anyway, on to the pictures...JewishGuy was asked to be one of the witnesses on the ketubah, so here he is about to sign it next to the bride and groom.This is the chuppah from where I was sitting - I did get pretty close! But no aisle, so no good shots for me. It is a simple chuppah that only looks more complicated because of the decorative twigs on the poles.The bride circles the groom 3 times in this wedding. I hadn't heard of the tradition of circling 3 times (as opposed to 7, which is what I did). In a way it was kind of good she only had to go around 3 times because her long beautiful train was actually wrapping around the groom's legs!A better shot of the chuppah with the bride and groom's heads.The hall was so beautiful! The centerpieces looked like trees growing up from the tables with lanterns and flowers. The lanterns were little tea lights that flickered in the trees and looked like fireflies or stars floating above people's heads during the reception.Close-up of the centerpieces.First dance :) (although this happened much later in the evening, like around 10pm!).It is a tradition in Canadian weddings to have lots of speeches, so I've heard. At our wedding, JewishGuy's family gave speeches and my parents gave short toasts. So at this wedding, there were speeches, and the bride and groom each have 3 siblings, so it was quite a speech procession! The best man (also one of JewishGuy's friends) gave a speech that was also a song, backed up by another groomsman on the guitar. Hilarious! Also at this wedding, taking a cue from ours, was a scotch bar, which JewishGuy happily enjoyed - as did many of their friends (I drove a full car of people home that night!).It was a great time! I am excited that I have two more weddings this summer to document, one more friend's wedding in September and my cousin in August![...]



Wedding in Toronto

2009-05-19T22:23:42.646-07:00

We just got back from a wedding in Toronto! Okay, so I haven't really even blogged about my own wedding now that it's over (waiting on some pictures which should be here soon!), but I thought I would post a photo from this wedding:

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More later! I'll keep promising that and one day I will actually write more!



1 Comments

2009-04-07T21:05:11.133-07:00

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Post-Wedding Blues

2009-04-02T16:11:35.352-07:00

Someone commented on one of my pictures or posts somewhere on the internet in the past couple of days "plan something fun to avoid post-wedding blues."Post-Wedding Blues?OH...I really don't want to go back to school yet. I don't want to be back in real life yet. Last weekend was so fun and amazing and fantastic and now I have to write a paper? Study for an exam? Be at work?Our friends are throwing us sheva brachot, which are great! But somehow during the day I feel a little down. Like, oh, it's over now. I was near a neat little trendy second-hand shop wanted to go shopping for outfits for the wedding weekend but there's no need! It's weird not to be in prep mode. In "post" mode. It's weird! And no real time for that shift because all of my major deadlines are coming up now! Two papers effectively due this Tuesday because Passover starts Wednesday and we are traveling.Also, our cat, who missed us terribly, is keeping us up all night to snuggle (she is loud and persuasive when she wants to snuggle) so I'm not sleeping.Who knew there was such a thing as post-wedding blues?I just keep refreshing the photographer's blog waiting for the pictures to show up! And we are going to help the videographer with editing the video, then there will be that. And of course there are the amazing gifts we are receiving, and the thank-you notes. And I keep looking down at my hand and it's so fun to see the two rings instead of one and how "blinged out" my finger looks (thanks CankeyB). Also I have been looking through all the pictures my friends have been posting on facebook - looking through them over and over and over again!I tried to make some art about it yesterday and I might continue this evening after I make some headway on this major paper I have been putting off (like everyone else, I know I'm not alone, at least I kind of have the excuse of the wedding haha).I kind of wish we were going on a honeymoon but I know that's not really possible right now. Maybe in August we will go somewhere for a little while, since that is when I have my break, but who knows.And now, a couple of pictures, maybe I will just post them piecemeal heheheThe picture above was taken by one of my friends during the bedeken, when the groom traditionally puts the veil over the bride. At our bedeken, I also put the kittel on JewishGuy. The veil tradition comes from either a) making sure he has the right bride (ala Jacob marrying Leah by mistake); and/or b) Rebecca veiling herself when she saw Isaac she was blushing, she was so in love with him at first sight.This one came from the camera of one of my parents' friends - he has over 400 images, my mom is sending them to me on a CD later. My dad uploaded some of them to his facebook so I am stealing them!You can see our simple chuppah! I know a lot of people find this blog by googling "Simple Chuppah." It seems there are a lot of other Jewish brides out there who don't want anything too fancy. This chuppah was JewishGuy's Savta's tablecloth on four bamboo poles with some daisies. Four of JewishGuy's friends carried the chuppah down the aisle and stood with us the whole time. Very neat.I loved that we were completely surrounded by friends and family standing up there. Not just friends standing to either side of us, but as you can see we are really surrounded.Also, funny story, that window looks out onto a golf course and we could see people putting in front of us as JewishGuy's dad read the ketubah out loud...[...]



The Wedding!!!

2009-04-01T14:39:17.326-07:00

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One of my favorite pictures so far, taken by one of JewishGuy's friends :)

The whole weekend was amazing, I can't even begin to describe it! I keep wanting to sit down and write a whole post, but I'm not sure how to do that. Should I break it down, day-by-day? Or should I just write one big EEEEEEE post?

So here goes, one big EEEEE post, to be followed up by other, smaller posts. A compromise, I guess!

Everything went perfectly, as far as I could tell! The bachelorette party was superfun, Shabbat was great and full of enthusiasm, and Sunday was just a blur of awesomeness. I remember looking around while people were eating on Sunday and saying to JewishGuy - I can't believe how perfect this is, everyone is so happy, the weather is beautiful, this place is beautiful, and it's so fun.

I kind of want to talk about Sunday first, so I will, and hopefully eventually I will come back to the rest of the weekend at some point.

All week we anxiously looked at weather.com and talked to our friend The Meteorologist for updates on the weather. Being March and DC, the weather could do whatever it wanted at a moment's notice. At the last minute we decided to hold the ceremony inside because thunderstorms were predicted for the afternoon. No thunderstorms ever materialized, but it was beautiful inside and out. As you can see, the room was full of glass, so it was almost like being outside but without the bugs and wind.

Then we left and ate in a room by ourselves as friends banged on the door. When we came back, we were sent into the main room under a bridge of streamers!

During the dancing, someone came up to me and said "when you're in the chair, lean back!"

"What?"

Suddenly I was shoved back into a chair and up above everyone's heads! It was really hilarious. JewishGuy and I did the thing where you hold the handkerchief between you. Awesome.

Then after more dancing, we were pushed back into two chairs and given water, streamers, glow sticks and leis. Our friends and family did some funny dances and schtik for us. It was awesome and so funny!

The rest of the night kept going just as fast, I don't think it slowed for a second. The speeches were great, JewishGuy and I played "The shoe game," which we kind of were hoping to play (thanks SportyJew :P). We took pictures with the various contingencies at the wedding - friends from other cities - and ate delicious food.

When it was over we went back to the hotel and hung out for a couple more hours ... then it was all over! How bizarre! It's over?

I'll write more about it later, shorter stories about specific things that happened. Now I'm kind of back in the real world and have massive papers and exams I have to recognize as being real and coming up.



PHEW

2009-03-31T16:41:03.930-07:00

It was an amazing weekend!

I'll post pictures when I get them!



Getting close!

2009-03-22T11:36:22.974-07:00

We finished the programs today except for the table assignment stickers. We've made a 7 page book for the programs, printed them at kinkos and then bound them ourselves with embroidery floss. Then we glued on tags that were made by the invitations lady, to tie everything together (like a good rug).

I can't believe it's so close! In two and a half days we will get in the car and begin the road trip across the country.

It's weird that it's been a whole year since I started this blog. Time just passes and things come together, I guess!

I am still deciding if I want to get new outfits for the weekend but I probably won't. More likely, I will try to make new outfits out of things I already have. I don't really think I feel like really shopping. I have made a few attempts in these final weeks to go shopping for Shabbat outfits but have gotten distracted or the store I wanted to go to was no longer in business, and I don't really feel like trying too hard when I have a closet full of dresses I've only worn a couple of times (usually to previous weddings).

Yesterday we had an aufruf here because like so many people we are having the wedding somewhere else. It seems to be a tradition to have one aufruf in this congregation 2 weeks before the wedding and another at the congregation where the wedding will take place the week before. It was fun! People threw hershey kisses at us (painful, but JewishGuy blocked it haha), and then the drama with the kiddush lunch. Good times. :)

So here's this week's schedule!

Sunday: finish work for class
Monday: class
Tuesday: class and pack
Wednesday: 12 hour drive home
Thursday: courthouse for marriage license stuff and then bachelorette party!
Friday: move into the hotel, Shabbat services / dinner
Saturday: aufruf, lunch, and dinner, maybe going out?
Sunday: wedding!



Veil, phew, & Bridal Therapy

2009-03-11T14:31:01.122-07:00

Who knew you had to custom-order veils? I certainly didn't. If I did, maybe I wouldn't have put it off so long (okay I probably would have, but I would have stressed about it more and gotten more nagging).I tried to make an appointment at Macy's, it was really confusing, they gave me the wrong date for the sample sale, etc etc. Well, I made an appointment anyway to see what samples they had left. Apparently because the wedding is in less than three weeks I don't have time to have a custom-ordered veil. I don't want that anyway! I wanted to walk into Macy's empty-handed and walk out with a veil. I wanted a really simple veil, not too long.So today was my appointment. I had to go alone because of the weird timing of this appointment, it was an hour after my therapy appointment (so I wouldn't be able to hang out in the down time) and nobody was going to be around downtown until then without me. I went to Macy's to shop for that hour before the appointment. Then I went to the bridal department and waited for the lady to attend to me.While I was waiting I met this bride whose wedding is in November and she was freaking out quietly with the swatches for the fabric for her bridesmaids' dresses. We got to talking and it sounded like she was a lot like me, anxious about all of the attention. The conversation actually went something like this:Me: I don't know, for some reason with the bridesmaids it wasn't AS important for me what they wear, just what they want to wear. But when it comes to me, I'm so picky, it has to be exactly right.Other bride: BECAUSE EVERYONE WILL BE LOOKING AT YOU.- OKAY - I literally had that exact anxious mantra. Still have it, but I'm dealing with it. Kinda.I told her about Offbeat Bride, because she was talking about how there are so many nutsos on TheKnot, these people who are taking everything very seriously and are making her freak out (she had already bought her dress for her November wedding). I told her that Offbeat Bride literally just had an article about tailoring weddings for brides who are anxious about being in the spotlight. I explained that the site gives ideas for alternative ways to plan the wedding, not being so caught up in ettiquette, etc. When I told her I bought a white evening gown instead of a bridal gown she was like, why didn't I think of that? I said, Go to Offbeat Bride.I should get paid for that kind of advertising!Anyway, when I told JewishGuy about this later, he said that once I become an art therapist I should specialize in Bridal Therapy. I am seriously considering it! I mean, all I would have to do once I get my ATR and am legally allowed to practice would be to put my card in bridal salons. People would have to pay out of pocket but it might be worth it for anxious brides like me. I mean I don't know what I would have done without going to therapy during this engagement! haha.OKAY back to the veil.I went back with the attendant to try on the veils. Once I told her I had a white evening gown instead of a bridal gown, she tried to sell me a long veil. It was plain but it was very long, the back went to my calves - she said it would make me look more bridal since I don't have a bridal gown. I'm not sure she understood the point of buying a white evening gown instead of a bridal gown (well, maybe she thought it was for economic reasons). I had to convince her to show me the shorter veil! She eventually did, so I tried it on and it was great. It's a two-tier veil (one tier with a blusher) that is elbow-length. I said, I'd take it. How much?She said, $300.....Are you kidding?Hooray for my bargaining skillz. Although what I paid is still a lot, it is 2 1/2 weeks before the wedding and I won't really have time to order from the internet. So I bought it. I probably could have shopped around for cheaper, but I think I would run the risk of having a poofy, lo[...]



Shoes!

2009-03-04T17:27:03.068-08:00

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It's hard to get a picture of the color, they are a little darker than this, but YAY. SHOES!

I got an email from Nordstrom saying they were having this big shoe clearance thing, so after my internship today I went with my friend to check out the sale... bim bam boom. Shoes. It took 20 minutes. It was amazing.

When I told the women there I wanted something for my wedding they thought I wanted something fancy. I shouldn't have mentioned wedding. These shoes I found with my friend on the sale rack - they aren't fancy, they aren't heels. When I'm wearing them it's like wearing comfortable socks. I feel like I will be able to stay in these shoes all day without having to take them off to dance or trip over myself.

PHEW.

Next, get dress altered and get veil.



AHHHH FLOWERS!!!!

2009-03-01T12:46:45.923-08:00

Princess Lasertron did my flowers and they are AMAZING. I am going to repost some of the pictures she put on her site:

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They are going to be mixed in with white gerbera daises for the bouquets and centerpieces. I am sad that I'm not going to keep all of them!!!



T-30 Days!

2009-03-01T12:39:31.952-08:00

EEEEEE!



Taking Care of Bidnez..

2009-02-08T14:39:13.852-08:00

Today we went suit shopping and ring shopping.

It's SO FRUSTRATING how easy it is for JewishGuy to buy a suit and it took me forever to get a dress! How is it that he could walk into a store, tell someone what he wants, and get it, bim bam boom and an hour (and much moneys) later: suit. Done. Yes, I could have done that too, gone to a fancypants bridal shop and plopped down more money than two suits and picked out a dress that was heavy and tight on me, but I knew I didn't want to shop at a bridal salon. So I did it the hard way, I guess. Well, it wasn't so hard, but it was a very long process. ALSO, the store is tailoring it for him, right on the spot, but I have to go to a tailor to have mine done.

Wah wah.

But the suit is great and matches my dress. Also it was a buy-one-get-one-free thing for the suits, so he got a nice work suit, too - and since he had a coupon from another time he spent a lot of money in this store, he bought two other shirt-tie combinations (and shoes, socks, pocket silks, and a belt).

Phew.

Then we went to get our wedding bands. It's actually hard to find a plain wedding band with no rocks in it for women. We had to go to the "men's" section, although it's more unisex than men-only. I have a small man's ring now and JewishGuy also has a thicker man's ring - white gold, plain, and matches the engagement ring. They are sizing it down and it will be ready on Wednesday.

While we were there they offered to re-dip my engagement ring, which is white gold and needed to be re-plated, so they did it on the spot. It looks great :)

Also I am still deciding if I want to have a veil. Jewish brides have been wearing veils for thousands of years so maybe I should wear one. But it seems kind of fake for me, like I am playing dress-up, but then again I am playing dress-up. So... I don't know. When JewishGuy comes in to put my veil on me, I will put his kittel on him, so we will be-decken each other (har-de-har-har).

So... things I still need just for me:

- veil?
- head thing for after the veil is off
- shoes
- alter my dress
- trial wedding hair run-through



Dating Anniversary

2009-02-01T09:12:00.158-08:00

Today is our 6th Dating Anniversary - the last one we will celebrate!



T-60 Days!

2009-01-27T19:06:26.998-08:00

WOO!



RSVPs

2009-01-27T19:05:43.909-08:00

The best thing about the invitations, I think, besides how cute they are, is that the tear-off postcard has no " _____ will / will not attend." It simply says please respond by February 15 without any instructions on how to do so. The back of the postcard is blank, so most people are using that space to write us a little note and say how excited they are, etc, or even if they can't come they are writing a little note or even a picture :)

LOVE.



How Grandma & Grandpa Met

2009-01-25T22:00:17.362-08:00

Today I visited my grandma after spending the weekend with JewishGuy's sisters and niece and nephew. It was a crazy weekend (I start class tomorrow)! While at early dinner / late lunch with grandma I asked how she and grandpa met and about their wedding. I'm going to rewrite the story here in the first person as best as I can remember it.

---

I had just come back from the army, I wasn't even back a week! My cousin invited me to go to a public dance - they had a lot of those back then - because she didn't want to go alone. We were there and sat waaaay in the back corner talking, I was telling her about the army, and a skinny guy carrying a beer walked past me. I had my leg out a little bit and I tripped him! He walked away and came back without the beer and asked me to dance. I thought he was maybe 20, he was so skinny.

But then when the night was over he said he would want to take me home but he was there with his sister so he had to take her home! I gave him my phone number instead. We started talking on the phone and we found out we had so much in common, and then I found out he graduated from college, and that was it. We were getting along so well that six months later we were married! I only had a few weeks and $300 to pull together a wedding. Most of the money went to the rabbi. There was a discount dress store across the street where I bought my wedding dress - it was aquamarine!

---

I really thought her dress was white! It's funny how the pictures and our expectations change reality.

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It was really great to hear the story, I hadn't heard it before. It's funny how she said he was so skinny and looked really young! haha, but then she heard he had gone to college and that was it! awesome :)



Hmm.. No Veil?

2009-01-20T21:23:10.778-08:00

Now I am thinking maybe I won't have a veil at all. Maybe ... instead of a veil ... JewishGuy could put something over my shoulders, like a nice shawl or something, and at the same time I will put on his kittel. I haven't decided yet, I just started thinking about this tonight. My dress is strapless, so it could look nice with something on my shoulders, something loose I guess.

I'm just not sure the veil is "me." I don't know if I would feel good about wearing it. It's one thing to get a dress that looks nice that I will wear all day because it is a dressy event and I want to wear white. But it's another to get a veil for the sake of having one if I'm not sure I want one.

Lalala decisions...



The Dress Party & Decision

2009-01-20T11:19:42.220-08:00

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Here it is, this is the one I picked! Everyone has been asking so I am posting. I am not posting photos because I don't like doing that on my blogs, so you just have to imagine. I will be sending pictures to some people but not right now.

People have been asking have I found "THE DRESS." Well, I thought I might have a reaction like that, like OOOOOOOOH THIS IS THE ONE !!! .... But I didn't, it's a nice dress that looks good on me. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I haven't really been like that for anything else so far I think? Yes, I have a dress, hooray! Another thing to check off on the list! I was putting a lot of importance into this dress that wasn't really there, I guess. Some of it feels a little artificial, "The Dress" and all, but I am excited that I have finally picked a dress and now that pressure is off!

(I still wish JewishGuy had asked my permission before opening the boxes of dresses while I was out of town)

For the party, a few of my friends came over and brought breakfasty dishes. We talked and ate and then I tried on dresses :) It was nice, even though I had to kind of kick people out so I could go to the art studio (this winter class is killing me).

I am glad that I did it this way. I really hate shopping - I mean I like shopping, but by myself, I don't like shopping with other people at all. And I realize I don't really like shopping with people when they are there just for you, it makes me really self-conscious not only of how I look but also that I am wasting their time and they are just sitting around waiting for me to make a decision. In my house, people are hanging out, eating, relaxing, warm, etc, and either way - even if I hadn't decided on a dress - it would have been a good time.

I think this party was the girliest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I feel good about it but I also feel uneasy for some reason.



It's in the mail.................

2009-01-16T10:32:45.782-08:00

the invitations!

Last night I sat down and stamped, stuffed, stamped, and sealed the invitations and today JewishGuy took them to the post office! I just can't get over how pretty the invitations are!!!



THE INVITATIONS!

2009-01-13T17:05:57.940-08:00

YAY! They are done and they are soooooooo pretty :DIt's all one piece, tri-folded, and the last fold is perforated so it breaks off into a postcard. No inserts, no extra papers, no giant envelopes.The extra little squares are tags that we are going to affix to programs/menus/whatever so that we can print the things at kinkos or somewhere not so expensive and then have a fancy touch :) They came with the invitations because there's extra space on the paper for those little squares.Also we have matching thank-you stationary, which is just a single card (you can see it in the top picture). It has enough space for a short thank you, and is so nice I hope people keep them.I love them because they are so pretty but not girly, and so different![...]



All Accounted For!

2009-01-13T16:49:38.014-08:00

Yay! The new dresses have arrived! Now I have all four, ready for my party on Sunday. :)



JCrew! Dresses!! GRRR!! :(

2009-01-11T10:56:44.433-08:00

JCrew just sent me an email saying that the dress I ordered from them that was scheduled to ship on Friday isn't going to ship until April! WHAT?? So I had to cancel that order. :( That was the one I liked the most.

So I ordered two more dresses from JCrew, this time overnight delivery, if they don't ship this week then I will cancel those orders, too, and will have to just decide between the two dresses I already have.

- ALSO, as a side note, my winter class voted to have off on inauguration day instead of MLK day, and I had scheduled to have my dress-trying-on-party on MLK day since a lot of people have that day off and my winter class is too intense to do it on a regular Sunday. SO I had to reschedule my dress party to the Sunday before (Jan 18), which is annoying, because Sundays are so precious. I am racing around trying to get supplies today and also I have to go to the studio to catch up for the hour I missed on Friday to get home before Shabbat. (Why am I posting, then? Good question...)

Anyway, the two new dresses are:

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(I ordered this one in ivory)

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Maybe it will work out after all because I actually think I like these more than the one I had originally picked out. So if these come in time I will have 4 dresses for my party, 3 long ones and 1 short one.



And... happy new year!

2009-01-01T15:02:33.738-08:00

Only 86 days left! EEEEE!



Happy Birthday!

2008-12-29T19:11:38.924-08:00

Today JewishGuy's sister (BigSIL) had a baby girl! Happy birthday to her!!!



Florist meeting!

2008-12-29T17:47:24.940-08:00

The chuppah is going to be four bamboo poles (held by friends) with a white cloth on the top. JewishMIL is making it! At the corners there are going to be a couple of these pink & yellow daisies plus some greenery:


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The rest of the flowers are going to be these white daises (and also some smaller, also white daisies):
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The daisies will be mixed in with the felt and button flowers from Princess Lasertron (click flower for link to etsy shop):

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Except the flowers will be in this color palette:

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so... YAY!

I think I am going to have the bouquets be a mix of a couple of white gerbera daisies with the button flowers, mine having more button flowers than the bridesmaids'. I don't know if anyone else is having button flowers, it depends on what they want - I know my mom wants a button flower corsage but I don't know if anyone else wants, so I will have to ask :)

The centerpieces as they are right now (subject to review, I think) are going to be two white gerbera daisies and one button flower in one of three clear vase designs (ellipse, rectangle and square).

Also I want to have little tea lights on the tables with the centerpieces, I think that is pretty easy to coordinate.

Overall I think everything will be simple and fresh, I don't want to compete too much with the mansion.