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Preview: Comments on: Women: Guarding Against Unhappiness

Comments on: Women: Guarding Against Unhappiness

Dr. John Grohol's daily update on all things in psychology and mental health. Since 1999.

Last Build Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2018 10:34:27 +0000


By: Trix

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 10:21:56 +0000

Only 18 years? Having children will alter your quality of life for the whole of your life. The dangers of damaged health and a lowered pension are high.

By: Wolfster

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 01:52:36 +0000

It's not true that better-looking people by default get treated better. More ATTRACTIVE people get treated better. I have seen it time and time again. I had a friend who had been terribly scarred in an auto accident, and she was not a "beauty" to begin with. But handsome, successful men vied for her attention and even women just wanted to be around her because she had "it" and was confident in her attractiveness. People with natural charisma, self-confidence, and self-respect (as opposed to arrogance or conceit) just draw people.

By: Janis

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:56:52 +0000

Michelle, I guess I learned through personal experience that careers are, at their best, an end in themselves. If you use them as a means to an end, a means to acquire junk, then the career doesn't matter much. It can be replaced instantly by another, higher-paying one. If you're not DOING something you like that you can take pride in, then who cares? I don't swim and don't watch TV, so no boats or flatscreens here. :-) That's all just junk you have to juggle, move, pack up, and pay down anyhow. Too much work keeping it all straight. Careers are like marriages -- any old one won't do as well as any others, and if you enter into it for the wrong reasons, it doesn't end well. Like anything else, a good one can be wonderful, and a bad one can sap the life out of you.

By: Tamra

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 21:04:45 +0000

Michelle, that's exactly why I chose a career in child psychology. Finding a purpose should be the goal for all human species. :) You're also correct when you state that "you can't take all... [those posessions with you]." I agree. One of the biggest mistakes I have seen is people gathering all the material things in the world for themselves, only later (when it's too late) to find out that they missed the most beautiful things in life. My grandmother use to say: Sometimes the beauty of life doesn't alaways comes wrapped in gold.

By: Michelle

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 13:48:57 +0000

I learned through personal experience that careers are a "means to an end". You'll always be working "for the man"...busting your butt for what? That paycheck has to pay the bills for some of our (not mine) "lavish" lifestyles. BMWs, flat screen TVs, boats, overly priced houses in the "right area", including the most expensive interiors, having the "right" clothes, etc. But do those material things really make a person HAPPY? What happened to just ENJOYING life? Accept what you have (middle class isn't so bad, you know) and be happy with it? Life is too short. When you are dead you can't take all that worthless junk with you. If you have a career that actually HELPS another person or serves a just cause or purpose, then more power to you. We need more of you than the others.

By: Janis

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 01:05:01 +0000

Lastly, a career can only last for so long. When that fails, where does your happiness go then? Into a dozen other fun things. :-) But you can still look back with satisfaction on the things you may have achieved in your career and the respect you gained from your colleagues. Careers are great! But you never put all your happiness eggs in one basket -- the world's too big and there are too many fun things to learn, make, and do.

By: Tamra

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 22:51:23 +0000

This article is quite superficial and I beg to differ with the tips on being happy. Here are my tips: Become less of a superficial society (or become the first to support this) Show more kindness Find a spiritual purpose Raise your children with all your heart Create a strong moral foundation for yourself Love unconditionally Treat people as you'd like to be treated I could go on for days! In response to the "better looking people are treated better," this is incorrect. If you aren't secretly followed around by a guy you'll have a door slammed in your face by a female in competition with you. There is also unnecessary jealousy that creates so much pain and frustration on the end of the receiver. Furthermore, people tend to view "better looking people" as happy, when in all actuality they could be severely depressed. They are also viewed as shallow, when in some cases, this is not true. Essentially, nice looking people go through a lot. So the best way to guard against unhappiness is to be the best person you can be and not the best looking person you can be :) Lastly, a career can only last for so long. When that fails, where does your happiness go then?

By: Janis

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 18:54:37 +0000

I have to laugh about the assertion that "better looking people get treated better by society," because in my experience, it's not at all the case. If by "better," they count being cynically pursued for reasons that you know mean nothing and never trusting anything anyone says to you -- and knowing that when you start to age, the whole thing is going to evaporate -- then sure, you're treated great. But only a complete idiot would regard that as "treated better." I certainly agree with the first two though, at least in my experience. Free time to pursue your own talents and a worthwhile job to find satisfaction in (aas well as respect and compensation) are big pluses in life. Looks, though? BIG waste of time. Trust me on this. They get you nothing worth having.

By: James M

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 13:58:41 +0000

She's trying to be humourous, right?

By: Dawn Pugh

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 11:29:38 +0000

Hi Penelope and John, I think primarily it is all about action and consequence. To recognize we do things in life by "CHOICE" and are prepared to deal with the circumstances that follow that choice. Many Thanks Regards Dawn Pugh

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Wed, 19 Nov 2008 09:02:59 +0000

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