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LIFE, LOVE & LOLA



Enjoying My Fabulous Life and Being The Person My Dog Thinks I Am!



Updated: 2015-09-16T17:32:43.339-04:00

 



Moved and somewhat settled...

2010-09-18T22:24:31.166-04:00

So, we are all moved in...

Or should I say "I"...

Cuz Lola really didn't have that much shit...

Somehow she really downsized after the last move...and a family of ants could have moved her shit in one trip...

ME...NOTSOMUCH!

Regardless, we are all loving our new life together.

Obviously I already thought the world of him...wouldn't have moved in with him if I didn't!

But now that we are under one roof...I'm here to tell you HE ROCKS!

So much that I'm beginning to think that Lola likes him more than me...

Not to worry, a couple of pig ears and she will be at my side in no time...

That's if he would stop sharing his steak, edamame, carrots, chicken, broccoli, cheese and whatever the fuck else he's eating with her, taking her for long walks and giving her quality floor time...

She use to think I invented milk bones...

Til he introduced her to edamame...

It is what it is...

I'm just thrilled they have bonded!

So, bottom line is I'm happy...FINALLY! (and for some reason I couldn't figure out how to fit "FUCKIN" in there, so I'll just start another sentence).

I'M FINALLY FUCKIN HAPPY!

And as I sit here typing...

While she's lying on his side of the bed...

I realize how blessed I am...

I've found true love...

And tomorrow when I wake up...



Ketchup...

2010-08-05T23:42:47.665-04:00

So...

Life has been crazy...

Busy...

And I know that's no excuse for not checking in with you fine people...If there are any of you regulars still out there...

I'm moving...yep...AGAIN!

And in with the boyfriend.

It's been a year since we've met...so we figured what the hell?

Shit, we know we like each other...Now let's see if we can stand each other...

Right?

My guess is that if we can parent a whale shark,this move will be a piece of cake.

I'm realizing once again that I still have A LOT OF SHIT!!!

SERIOUSLY!

How did I move from a 4/3 into a 2/2, consign,donate,ebay and still have SO MUCH SHIT???

We are compromising...You know both getting rid of SHIZIT.

Tonight he says..."You may need to rethink Christmas."

WHAT????

He says "You know all of your Christmas trees...Cuz we're not gonna fit 7 trees at my house."

Me: "UMMMMM. WHHHAAAAATTTTT!?!?!?"

Him: "I'm pretty cool with one tree and my little town of Bethlehem."

And I left it at that...

So, here I sit wondering how in the hell I'm gonna work 7 trees into his life...

Now y'all know I'm not stupid...if I was, I would still be with that other guy...

So, I'm thinking a BJ per tree...Quit clapping...I know it's brilliant!

So if I truly want 7 (although I would be ok with 4), that's really only 1 1/2 a month till it's time to decorate...

And he's SO gonna buy this...

And I think it's a pretty fair deal...



Eat Your Heart Out Angelina...

2010-06-23T16:29:09.010-04:00

I adopted a Whale Shark!

Who cares if you have Brad Pitt's babies...

Who by the way is looking awfully rough these days...What the hell are you putting that guy through??

I am the proud new adoptive Mama to a beautiful whale shark. So There!



So, a pod of Whale Sharks was spotted last week about 15 miles off the coast of where I live. Three have been tagged by Mote Marine (the local marine biology lab) and are now being tracked in an effort to learn more about these beautiful creatures.

While reading the article about these giant fuckin fish that I am so fascinated with I noticed a link that said adopt this animal..

Which prompted me to text the boyfriend...

Me: Hey. Wanna adopt a whale shark?

Him: I'm in...Where we gonna keep it? (cuz he's funny like that)

Me: That's the beauty of it...We become his parents and he stays in The Gulf. We don't have to feed him or nothing...And he's tagged, so we will always no where he is.

So today we adopted Dylan, a 25 foot whale shark who weighs like 15 fuckin tons.

And so far he has been the perfect child!

(image)
And here he is...

Isn't he a beauty?



I'm learning...

2010-04-07T18:49:22.740-04:00

That I kind of suck at being a girlfriend.

Truth be told I think it's just easier to be a wife.

As I've said before I liked being a wife.

I'm not saying that being a wife was a piece of cake...

Especially if you were married to my ex husband!

I'm just finding that I am having to relearn this whole dating thing and it's a lot fuckin harder than I remember.

I think there's something about that little piece of paper...You know the marriage license...that keeps us from sweating the "small stuff" in our relationships.

The boyfriend and I have had our share of hiccups over the last 8 months.

Don't get me wrong our good times far outweigh the bad...and more importantly I completely adore him and can't imagine the last 8 months without him.

I actually think most of our hiccups are because we are SO much alike...

The only real difference that we have is that he is very set in his ways and I'm more of a fly by the seat of your pants...that has definitely caused a few. For instance...He's always on time or early...and I'm ALWAYS 5 to 10 minutes late...and if I get side tracked...you may not see me at all.

I'll chalk a couple of our hiccups up to us both having Italian in our blood...which makes us both a little headstrong...something that has never worked to my advantage considering I'm also a Taurus!

And then there is me...Who can't remember how to be a girlfriend!

Any advice?

Cuz I want to be rid of these hiccups.



I received a text from My Ex lastnight...

2010-03-09T16:29:54.761-05:00

And so the text conversation goes...

Him: " I was shot at tonight!"

Me: " Wasn't me."

Me again: "Promise."



I Do...Times Two...

2010-02-24T19:48:03.134-05:00

So, court was short and for the most part painless...

My attorney did all of the talking and I was only asked one question by The Judge...

Ironically my response was...

"I do."

How crazy that those are the two words that unite two people as husband and wife and the same two that finalize a divorce.

He didn't show...which I was 95% sure that he wouldn't...boy did it feel good to be right!

I'M NEVER RIGHT!

Although, I do feel that I made the right decision...

So, I guess that makes me right twice...

I would like to thank all of you for being there for me...

My blog friends and most importantly my friends and family who know about this blog...I couldn't have made it through this without any of you. Shit, I would even like to thank the bitchy property manager of my old fancy gated community and the part-time dentist neighbor with the fucked up teeth who gave me quality "Blog Material" and kept my mind off this long drawn out divorce.

And last but certainly not least...

Thank you Lola for being there and loving me rain or shine. You are so nice to come home to and are worth far more than any furniture, art work or electronics that are no longer my belongings. As far as I'm concerned "YOU" being the only thing that I asked for in this divorce was the best decision I ever made...

So that makes three times I'm right!

And so begins the next chapter in my life...



February 22, 2010...

2010-02-20T22:41:10.143-05:00

It's over.

My divorce...that is.

Seriously...IT'S OVER!

I'll be back on the 23rd.

And we're keeping with the title of "Life, Love and Lola"

Cuz we still have LIFE...

I've found LOVE...

And praise Jesus we found LOLA...

Bought a new dress too...

Figured you get one on the way in...

Why not on the way out?



Lost and Found

2010-02-04T15:31:39.997-05:00

Earlier this week I experienced the most horrifying 21 hours of my fuckin life!

Lola escaped from my parents house on Monday a little after 5 and we were not reunited until shortly before 3 on Tuesday afternoon.

Talk about a nervous wreck!!!

Oh the tears...no sleep...the anxiety...the stress...the 8,000 cigs I smoked...

NOT FUN!!!

I was out the door and back at their house by 7:30 am on Tuesday to begin my search for my lost dog. I made fliers and passed them out to trash men, mailmen and construction workers...all of who were very compassionate and sensitive to my loss.

I drove for miles and in circles for nearly 7 hours looking for her, only making an occasional pit stop at my parents to use the bathroom or refill my water.

Just before I came really close to LOSING MY SHIT I got a call...

A sweet little old lady and her realtor had found her 5 streets north of my parents.

I hightailed it to where they were...and there lay my dog... muddy, wet and scared shitless in the bushes in front of her home.

And I cried...

And she exited the bushes...nearly pummeled me...and began licking me to death.

And I cried some more...

And then I gave her a bath and poured myself a large glass of wine...



Help A Sister Out...

2010-01-25T16:37:32.817-05:00

So a girlfriend of mine has entered an essay contest and is now one of the 12 finalists to win an all expense trip to wine country...

She will have this trip in the bag if she earns the most votes between January 26th and January 28th.

So because y'all love me...And because you love wine...You're gonna vote for her...Right??

You know I would never lie to you...So when I say she totally deserves this trip...I mean it!!!

Oh and by the way said girlfriend is also Molly's big sister and because I know y'all love Molly...You're gonna promise to vote...RIGHT???

You can vote for her here

Just simply pop over to that sight...Click on the essay on Hana, Hawaii written by Heather...And I'll heart you forever!!!



I Don't Need No Stinkin Signature...

2010-01-08T12:21:31.171-05:00

So...

Because The Fucktard won't cough up his stinkin signature I'm in the middle of gathering all the information required to file a Mandatory Disclosure...

AND IT SUCKS!!!

So once my attorney has 3 months worth of bank statements, credit card statements, payroll deposits, car payments, mutual investments, my last years tax returns, my life insurance policy and a copy of my insurance card in her hot little hands we can set a final hearing without his mother fuckin John Hancock!!!

And as BIG of a pain in the ass all of this is...

There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Oh...Here's the kicker that actually prompted us to go this route...

She received an email from him earlier this week that said he would sign and return the papers if I would send him $1000 in cash. Says he needs the grand to "get his life back on track."

Seriously??? He lost his job, wife, dog, house, friends and is still unemployed and living with his mother and a FUCKIN GRAND is gonna get his life back on track???

Well I'm here to tell y'all that as much as I would like my precious little papers that are being held ransom...

THAT DELUSIONAL BASTARD ISN'T GETTING A DIME FROM ME!!!



Happy New Year People...

2010-01-14T12:48:35.188-05:00

If there are any of you left in here...

I hope that all of you had a FABULOUS holiday season!!!

I changed things up a bit this year...

Only two trees, didn't mail cards, didn't make homemade baileys, no baking, didn't pop in one Christmas CD and I avoided the mall at all costs!!!

Now don't think I'm turning all Scrooge on you...I WOULD NEVER!!!

I did however...

Help my boyfriend and his 12 year old daughter decorate their tree, attend a beautiful performance of The Singing Christmas Tree on Main Street with him and his family...at a church...Celebrated the last night of Hanukkah with Molly and Stereos and Souffles and although we're not Jewish...we had a blast and Molly even created a homemade Menorah, enjoyed my girlfriend's homemade baileys in my coffee on every morning that I didn't have to work, had a wonderful Christmas day at my parents house, ate Stone Crab Claws that were straight off the boat...and the size of my head...on New Years Eve with my boyfriend and my parents and ended the evening with best friends and a kiss at midnight...which is something I haven't had in years...except from The Old Guy...and not that his kisses don't count...this was just a different kind of kiss!

So things are going well...

Actually everything is wonderful...except for a little run in I had at my apartment with a RABID BAT...but the boyfriend took care of said BAT and has won my heart...so it looks like we're keeping him...the boyfriend...not the bat!

With all of that being said...I think it's only fair that I introduce him to you...

(image)

I've been real hesitant to blog lately because of my new found happiness...

Mainly because I'm not sure if you know who still lurks around this joint...but I've decided to say "Fuck It!"

Y'all put up with me being miserable for so long I owe it to you to share my happiness with you too...

So there he is...

The guy that is responsible for this big ass smile on my face...



Holy Hell...

2009-12-03T15:34:58.252-05:00

This place looks abandoned!

Just look at the cobwebs and dust everywhere!!!

Am I even in the right place?

SHO AM.

What in the hell happened to Life Love and Lola's Place?

Boy do I have some work to do...

Lets start with a little Ketchup...

* I only have 2 trees up and decorated and plan on getting my real tree this Sunday. And that's it...Only 3 this year. Lola's Tree, Sparkly Butterfly Tree (that was inspired by butterfly man...remember him?) and The Real Deal that will display my Radko collection.

However...My Florida Tree(which is my pride and joy) is on display front and center on downtown Main Street in Stereos and Souffles audio business's window. How fuckin cool is that??? Bet y'all are happy you knew me before my tree became famous!

* The Divorce Saga continues...Like I said before y'all will be the first to know when it's final.

* I didn't lift a finger on Thanksgiving this year...Except when I was taking a sip of my wine...This was the first time in 8 years that I didn't host at my house for a large group. Was I sad?? That would be a BIG HELL NO...If I have it my way I'm going to be a guest from now on.

* I got locked inside of my apartment a week ago...yep, you heard me INSIDE OF...not OUTSIDE OF...My friends boyfriend had to come and bust me out...and this incident is just typical of my life...and something that would only happen to me!

So there you have it...

I'll be back...

But first I have to take care of these dust bunnies...



Congratulations Are In Order!!!

2009-11-11T14:34:50.505-05:00

Our friend Facebook has informed me that my soon to be ex recently proposed to his virtual girlfriend with a virtual engagement ring online.

Awwww! How romantic! Although I do think it's kinda jumping the gun considering we aren't officially divorced yet...Who knows maybe a virtual baby is on the way???

Mind you getting him to cooperate during the tail end of this divorce has been like trying to yank teeth from an alligator! He has been dragging his feet about signing papers and dodging phone calls religiously.

Guess cuz he's too busy beefing up his mafia and planning a wedding on facebook!

Don't get me wrong if he has found happiness in the virtual world...

I'm thrilled!

Mainly because it keeps him out of my real life!

But come on already...

He needs to tell his mafia he's taking the day off, send his virtual fiancee dress shopping and sign the Marital Settlement Agreement that should arrive in the mail today...

So that I can live happily ever after in my real life...



I lied...

2009-11-03T18:56:08.619-05:00

I said I would catch up over the weekend and I didn't.

You see...

I have a friend that has a broken leg whom I've been helping out when she needs me...

Another friend who just had a big move...

Two other friends who are having babies that I need to buy shower gifts for...

A friend's sister who's wedding I'm attending this weekend...

One baby shower that I'm missing because of said wedding...

The Jewel concert I'm going to tomorrow night with my mom and my sister...

Two of my best friends combined birthday party to attend next weekend...

A baby shower the day after that...

And playing tennis with a friend tonight...

So there's why I'm MIA...

And not already decorated for Christmas!!!

And as much as it's killing me to not have at least one tree up yet...



BOO!!!

2009-10-30T15:47:45.931-04:00

(image)
I decided to wear horns to work...And suprisingly not one old person has bothered me all day...I may start wearing them daily.

On another note...I know I have completely neglected Lola's Place lately. I really don't have any good excuse...I suppose I could make one up...Instead I'll just tell you the truth...I'm in L-O-V-E and I've been really busy...I'm going to make an effort to get back on track this weekend...



Excuse me while I take a bow...

2009-10-19T16:39:38.142-04:00

(image)

A BIG MUAH to Always Organizing for recognizing me as one of her favorite bloggers and giving me this award. An even BIGGER MUAH that she took time away from being a Newlywed and her new hubby to show me a little love.

Also, a BIG MUAH to The Mrs for also awarding me The Over The Top Award!

Thank you ladies!!! Y'all Rock!

I have to answer these questions with only one word...

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk
2. Your hair? Brunette
3. Your mother? Heaven (And her birthday is today)
4. Your father? Wonderful
5. Your favorite food? Seafood
6. Your dream last night? Dunno
7. Your favorite drink? Wine
8. Your dream/goal? Hawaii (Dream) Quit (Smoking that is...and that's my goal)
9. What room are you in? Office
10. Your hobby? Tennis
11. Your fear? Flying
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? As happy as I am right now (I know 7 words)
13. Where were you last night? Snuggling
14. Something that you aren’t? Mean
15. Muffins? Nope
16. Wish list item? Maiden (Name back)
17. Where did you grow up? Sarasota
18. Last thing you did? Answered # 17
19. What are you wearing? clothes
20. Your TV? Rocks
21. Your pets? Bark
22. Friends? Loyal
23. Your life? Happy
24. Your mood? Good
25. Missing someone? Dad (He went to Connecticut to visit my Nana)
26. Vehicle? Expedition
27. Something you’re not wearing? Wig
28. Your favorite store? TJ's
29. Your favorite color? Green
30. When was the last time you laughed? Mornin
31. Last time you cried? Mornin
32. Your best friend? Rocks
33. One place that I go to over and over? Keys
34. One person who emails me regularly? Neiman's (and I can't afford their shit)
35. Favorite place to eat? Roy's



AWWWW...

2009-10-12T16:36:46.396-04:00

(image) Little Ms Blogger enticed me to float on down from Cloud 9 and over to her place because she had a gift for me. Who doesn't love a surprise gift? Thank you Little Ms Blogger ! Just when I didn't think I could be any happier you made my day!


Now I'm suppose to share 10 things about myself with y'all... These lists are always a little tough for me as you know I don't hold back when it comes to sharing my life... Seriously I don't know what more I can tell.

Well shit...Here goes...

1. I had a horrible headache yesterday and paid my girlfriends 10 year old $2.00 to count in her head rather than out loud...Cuz I just couldn't take it! It was the best 2 bucks I ever spent...

2. My new man and I know each other from high school. He was a couple years ahead of me. Crazy how we both have been living in our hometown (or close by) and haven't bumped into each other in 20 yrs... then I run into him the day after I move into my apartment and we've been dating ever since.

3. Since I've re met said new man I have gone off my Lexapro and I'm fine...Seriously...I'm genuinely happy! No meds on board whatsoever!!!

4. I'm secretly freakin the fuck out about cooking dinner for him because I stupidly allowed Stereos and Souffles to have us over for dinner and she belongs on The Food Network! My cooking just doesn't compare! Think I may have to pull a Mrs. Doubtfire when the time comes.

5. I've been really forgetful lately. I'm not sure if it's because I'm all giddy or if I'm developing Alzheimer's. If it is Alzheimer's could y'all please make sure I end up in the same home as The Old Guy.

6. My divorce still isn't final...But is in the final stages of being final...And as soon as it is final y'all will be the first to know...And I expect a party... With this cake...


(image)

But I want it in chocolate. K?

7. I was disqualified from Molly's pumpkin carving contest last year cuz I brought my pumpkin already decorated. The party is two weeks away and I'm halfway considering bringing my pumpkin decorated again...Cuz I like to break the rules!

8. I think that cake is fuckin HILARIOUS!!! Don't you?

9. I haven't bought a new pair of shoes in like 5 months...This must have something to do with the Alzheimer's...

10. I just realized I can't have the cake in chocolate...Cuz then the blood wouldn't stand out and that is really what makes it...So vanilla will have to do...




Multiple Times A Week...

2009-10-02T23:05:08.839-04:00

I'm gonna give you adjectives...

FUN, FRIENDLY, HARD WORKING, SWEET, SMOKIN HOT, ATHLETIC, HONEST AND SINCERE.

In addition to all of those wonderful qualities...

He is very close with his family, has totally hit it off with my friends and family, loves sports, has bonded with Lola...and she thinks he invented milk bones...seriously never have seen her warm up to a man this quickly, is a really good daddy and thinks I'm pretty special.

So there you have it...That's him in a nutshell.

Don't even think about trying to steal him from me...

Cuz I've been working out with Jillian Michaels...





I make trips to the bank to make a deposit for The Clinic.

Typically I walk...Cuz it gives me a break from the old people...and it's another one of my efforts to be more green.

However if it looks like rain...I'm forced to drive.

Today was one of those days.

It never fails that when I'm exiting the drive thru I always nail this BIG ASS sign that reads "Watch For Pedestrians" with my side view mirror.

Personally I think the sign should read "Watch Out For Your Side View Mirror"

Cuz I've never nailed a pedestrian...